The One About Drag Shows

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Sibling Rivalry
Episode: The One About Drag Shows
Date: August 20, 2025
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is a lively, candid exploration of the world of drag shows, with Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change trading hilarious banter, personal stories, and reflections from their lives as iconic queens. The heart of the episode is about drag performance history, their legendary drag wardrobes, friendly squabbles over who owns the longest wig, New York City living, and the emotional stories and drama that come with close drag friendships. The tone is unfiltered, funny, and full of the relatable chemistry fans love.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Big Wig Debate (01:00–06:40)

• The episode opens with an ongoing, mock-serious debate over which host owns the longest wig.
• The argument escalates into a playful wager: whoever loses must do pushups with the other on their back.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “You literally do not have one wig longer than my longest wig. And you don't have a wig longer than my second longest wig.” – Bob (02:51)
  • “Bob, I have two wigs longer than your longest wig.” – Monét (02:57)
  • “Bring your wigs.” – Bob (03:23)
• The discussion includes specifics about measuring braids & wigs, and a passionate debate over the “proper” method (from the crown, not along the curve).
• Memorable Moment: Plans to settle the challenge by physically bringing wigs and measuring on TikTok (03:24).

Sizing Up: Shoe Wars & Wardrobe Tales (08:38–11:56)

• The hosts riff on shoe sizes and the struggle for queens with big feet.
• They recount wearing each other’s shoes and the consequences (“exploding feet” and “stones ricocheting”).
• Discussion shifts to sentimental drag wardrobe items and giving and loaning iconic outfits.

New York City Life & Wild Encounters (12:14–22:34)

• Chat about NYC neighborhoods, their histories living there, and a running battle about neighborhood boundaries.
• Wild hookup stories from the city:
  • Bob’s dangerously trusting Craigslist rendezvous (“You could have been Craigslist killed!”) (18:09–20:34)
  • Monét’s late night subway platform escapades, surrounded by rats out of sheer “NYC horniness” (21:07).

Crying, Emotions, and Friendship Dynamics (24:16–32:17)

• Discussion of the inappropriateness of asking “are you crying?” in moments of vulnerability.
• Emotional stories: Bob and Jacob crying during a podcast about “the state of America” (25:08), Jacob crying at “Game of Thrones” and “Coco” (26:12, 27:24), and Bob crying after a grueling drag pageant loss (28:09–28:49).
• Insights into the deep friendship between Bob and Monét, including moments of fierce anger (31:16–32:24).

Scams, Break-Ins & Neighborhood Drama (32:17–41:47)

• Bob recounts being robbed by a childhood friend, leading to eviction (32:24–33:41).
• Monét and Bob compare notes on messy hotel room habits, attitudes towards hotel staff, and living out of a suitcase.
• A playful squabble over NYC geography (Harlem, Upper West Side, Morningside Heights) and debates about “real” New Yorkers (39:06–41:47).

Drag Wardrobe: Ownership, Sentiment, and Drama (46:56–56:54)

• More back-and-forth on giving versus loaning iconic drag pieces: jackets, dresses, and custom wigs.
• A major story arc: Monét placing Bob’s precious gold gown (from his debut feature film) in the “bad drag” pile for amateur wear at a bar night, sparking emotional reactions and debates on drag sentimentalism (48:13–54:06).

Reflections on Drag Shows and NYC Gigs (57:42–59:53)

• Both hosts reminisce about their favorite weekly drag gigs in NYC:
  • Monét’s “One Woman Show” at Hardware Bar, “Bad Drag Queen,” and “The Help” with Pixie.
  • Bob’s “Bob Show,” “The Help,” “Sisters” with Frosty Flakes, and running “Bad Drag Queen.”
• Description of the “Bad Drag Queen” show format: audience lip syncs and chaotic makeovers, with many future drag stars emerging from friendly, supportive competition.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On NYC Horniness:
  • “You know what? When we are young, we're just so horny and dumb.” – Monét (20:34)
• On Sentimentality:
  • “Monet will put this dress in the fucking thing like it's just the dress you won Drag Race in… Like, What?” – Bob (54:06)
• On Proper Crying Etiquette:
  • “Can I just say right now, are you crying? is a very inappropriate response to someone crying. That's… in the amount of vulnerability it takes to let someone see you cry.” – Bob (27:34)
• On Drag Show Community:
  • “Honestly, I think if I was still a local queen in New York, that show [Bad Drag Queen] would still be going on.” – Monét (60:35)
• On Measuring Wigs:
  • “You gotta follow the braid.” – Bob (62:39)

---

Key Timestamps

• 01:00 — Debate begins: Who owns the longest wig?
• 03:24 — TikTok challenge is planned.
• 08:38 — Cowboy boots, shoe sizes, wardrobe stories.
• 12:14 — True NYC cry moments and emotional episodes.
• 18:09 — Bob’s legendary Craigslist hookup adventure.
• 25:08 — Emotional episode memories and podcast crying.
• 28:09 — Bob’s post-pageant breakdown and sentimental drag stories.
• 32:24 — Bob’s robbery/eviction story.
• 39:06 — Heated NYC neighborhood boundaries debate.
• 46:56 — Major drag wardrobe/sentimentality showdown.
• 60:35 — The “Bad Drag Queen” show legacy.

---

Episode Theme & Tone

The episode is classic Sibling Rivalry: packed with cheeky bickering, heartfelt drag nostalgia, NYC grit, and an honest peek behind the rhinestoned curtain of queer performance and friendship. The relatable drama over wigs and wardrobes, paired with moments of deep emotion and quick-witted banter, make this an essential listen for fans of Bob, Monét, and the world of drag.

---

For the Curious

• Viewers are encouraged to check the hosts’ TikTok for the outcome of the “longest wig” bet (62:08).
• The hosts’ love of community, drag creativity, and personal history shines in every zinger and fond memory shared.

---

If you missed the episode, you missed an authentic, laughter-filled celebration of drag, shade, and the kind of deep friendship that’s forged under stage lights and late-night subways.

Transcript

[A]

You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank. Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining al fresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off. During Wayfair's 4th of July clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget, plus surprise flash deals. July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's 4th of July clearance now through July 6th at Wayfair.com Wayfair Every style, every home.

[B]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop. From the lens of artists and handmade objects, I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business, the biggest thing I can tell you, it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on shopify.com.

[C]

my name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[D]

And I'm Monet x James.

[C]

And this is simply rivalry. On this week's episode, we find out who has the longest wig.

[D]

We talk about some of our favorite drag shows.

[C]

And we find out what made Monet say this.

[D]

You so damn vanilla. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[C]

Monet. Everyone knows that. Monet. Have you seen the thing online where

[D]

you shave your head like this, Girl, every shaving day. I'm always. They're always marketing towards me. Yes.

[C]

I mean. I mean, I get tagged in it.

[D]

Oh, I don't get tagged. I just see. I just see the ads, people tagging you. That's. That's crazy.

[C]

I mean, I am famously bald.

[D]

I would say I am too white people. Are people telling you, oh, Bob, look. Look what you should buy for yourself.

[C]

Yeah, I think it might be other baldies being like, hey, girl, look what I do. Maybe you would appreciate this.

[D]

No, don't want to tags me, stuff like that. I don't think people see me as. I think I'm bald, but they don't perceive me as bald.

[C]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[D]

I don't think people perceive me as being bald.

[C]

You know, you think they see you with a fro.

[D]

Nothing. They perceive me because I think they see me in wigs a lot. So they perceive me as someone with wigs.

[C]

I wear wigs, too, bitch.

[D]

Yeah, but not really. You don't wear wigs.

[C]

I've been wearing wigs longer than you.

[D]

You say you wear wigs longer than me or you've been wearing them longer than me?

[E]

Both.

[D]

You don't have a. You have one wig than. That's. That's long. You have a. You literally have one wig that's longer than me.

[C]

You don't have one wig longer than my longest wig. And that's the most important thing.

[D]

That is true. I mean, I've said. Sorry. That's not true.

[B]

You.

[C]

You literally do not have one wig longer than my longest wig. And you don't have a wig longer than my second longest wig.

[D]

Bob, I have two wigs longer than your. Than your longest wig.

[C]

You do not.

[D]

I promise I do you.

[C]

Okay. Okay. Jacob's gonna pull them up, call your big wig, your long wig, and then I'll call my long wig, and we'll see how long. Whose wig is it?

[D]

What did he call it?

[C]

Jacob will Google it. You don't have a wig longer than my two wig.

[D]

I have two of them.

[C]

You don't have one wig while they have two. You don't.

[D]

Y' all there? Okay, I have to come over to the studio today to record.

[C]

Bring your wigs.

[D]

I'm gonna bring my wig. And y' all look up. Look up the results on TikTok. Y' all gotta see the results on TikTok.

[C]

And what are you gonna do when you lose?

[D]

When you lose?

[C]

I want. When you lose, I want you to do 10 pushups while I'm laying on your back.

[E]

10.

[C]

And you have to complete all 10.

[D]

Nigga, I can't even get up with you on my back. If you want to do a push up, I cannot do a push up anymore.

[C]

Why would you have to worry about it? Cause it's not gonna happen. So you can agree to anything. You could agree to eat my car, right? What is that? What happened?

[B]

Right?

[D]

What is up with you and eating things lately? A camera, a phone.

[C]

What is it?

[D]

What is this?

[C]

It's funny. I will eat this computer. You will? So you could agree to eat my Toyota Venza.

[D]

Okay, if I am wrong, I would do three pushups. No, three push ups with you on my back, which is gonna be a lot already.

[C]

Chest to the floor, elbows fully extended.

[D]

Ok. And then what do you do

[C]

when I'm right and let me eat. Let me eat something hefty before you come over.

[D]

Okay. So if so, let Me grab my weighted vest. Okay.

[C]

Another 30 pounds.

[D]

Okay. And if I'm right, then you will do.

[C]

I will squat you 20 times over my shoulders.

[D]

How is it physically that even happening?

[C]

I will carry. Firemen carry and I'll squat 20 times.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

No, I'm doing 10. I'm doing 10.

[D]

Shake on it.

[C]

Do you need to do some warmup push ups before you get here?

[D]

Bitch, I went to the gym already this morning. I'm very warm.

[C]

You're about to be exhausted. When I lay my big ass on your back.

[D]

I want this new workout.

[C]

When I lay £225 on your little slim, recently slim back.

[D]

My back has become to unbig. Although, bitch, I was backsliding last week. Bitch, the amount of food I ate last week. Recently slim is such a funny, recently slim.

[C]

This is too small.

[D]

Oh, are you wearing your Troy Anne sweater?

[C]

I am.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Shout out, Troy Ann. But yeah. Anyway. Have I seen these wigs?

[D]

You probably never seen them though, because they're so long. I don't wear them. I've literally wore them. I wore them on my album cover and I wore them in a video on thing. I could tell you.

[C]

How many inches do you think they are?

[D]

They're longer than me. So they're longer than. I'm 5 11. I'm 5 10, 3, 4.

[C]

So they're at least what, 5, 11.

[D]

They're at least 70 inches.

[C]

And where are we? Is it from the base of the wig? Now you. Now let's just say, for example, if yours are braids, you can't measure from here and then measure this and then measure down.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

You have to measure from the scalp to the end.

[D]

No, we're measuring the length of the thing.

[C]

Yeah, Right.

[D]

So that's from where you started the cornrow. Because the hair starts here.

[C]

No.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

No.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

No, Monet, that's not how. No, when you measure your braids, when you measure your cornrows, they start from here. You don't start them from here.

[D]

Who, who, who, who said this room.

[C]

Everyone. You measure your hang time. No, Monique, everyone knows that.

[D]

No, that's how I grew up.

[C]

What?

[D]

You know what? So then, till then, we can meet in the middle. You can start halfway then. That's fair.

[C]

To be clear, you still won't win. I will win because my braids are taller than me and I am 3 inches taller than you.

[D]

Okay, bother.

[B]

We'll.

[D]

We'll. We'll find out in about two hours.

[C]

To quote Serena Cha Cha. Well, girls, we shall see.

[E]

Wig hair is typically measured from the crown, the top slouch.

[D]

Back of the scalp area.

[C]

Well, Monet's not incorporating that. This hair is being measured this direction. Not. Does not this.

[D]

Jacob just said exactly what I said. You measure from the crown.

[C]

Yeah, but out. Not when it's slick back to your head. So this is. This is the problem. You ready? This hair starts here. This is where this hair starts. And then you measure it going down. You're measuring your entire scalp and just adding it to. And because of the sheer size of your head, you have an extra 2ft

[D]

already,

[C]

which is not fair. You're cut because of the craniage you possess, not crainage. You know what I mean?

[D]

Do you want to. Do you want to thank me for giving you the idea of having a dad hats for your tour? These are. Monet. I've been selling dad hats since I started my. My drag career.

[C]

I've been selling baseball hats since the start of my career. Kennedy. No, not Kennedy. Aaron. Aaron. I don't know. I can't wanna say her last name, but Aaron designed this hat. I mean, it's not a whole lot of design. It's just. This is wild.

[D]

Yeah, but you didn't sell hats before your tour.

[C]

That's 100% not true.

[D]

Well, okay, I've sold hats since my.

[C]

Since my debut on RuPaul's Drag Race.

[D]

Okay, and what were your hats next year?

[C]

You think this is the first baseball hat I've ever sold?

[D]

I'm just asking, what kind of baseball hats? What was the design before? I've never seen them.

[C]

It said purse verse on it.

[D]

Okay, so do you want to thank

[C]

me for giving you the idea? Okay, do you want a kowtow?

[D]

Can I tell you? So I'm going to Cowboy Carter. I have my lovely friend Mario Rodriguez who's stoning my look for me. And bitch, I ordered. I need white cowboy boots. I ordered them and I thought they were women's 12, men's 12. They were on women's 12, so I had to send them back when I got her on Sunday. I'm trying to get. I'm hoping the new ones come today because I need to have white copper woods to finish my look.

[C]

Why don't you just cut the heel out and then just let you give a little biscuit.

[D]

What?

[C]

Just cut the back of the shoe off. Give a little biscuit.

[D]

Okay. That's how that works. So I have a new one coming today that's 13. It's still a half size. A size too small for women's, but hopefully it'll work.

[A]

A 13.

[D]

You wear women's 13 in heels, so put your fucking hand down.

[C]

I wear a 12.

[D]

You bob, you wear a 13. I wear a 12 depending on the shoe you have. Absolutely.

[C]

Video. Pause the video.

[D]

OK, OK. Bob wears 12 and 13s, but there are several of my shoes who have 13s that were too small that fit Bob just right. So Bob better act like he only wears a 12 when he absolutely has fit. My size 13 shoes that I've given

[C]

him, Let the record show that is a 12.

[D]

Okay, I'm saying, though, there have been my size 13 shoes that you have worn because they didn't fit me. I didn't say you only wear 12, but you often wear 13.

[C]

And when I wore your shoes, my. No, my toes were crunched trying to keep them. I was. I was walking like this, trying to

[D]

keep them shoes on. I have size. I have size 12 shoes that I wear too open. So shoes I can wear size fit

[C]

and show the bottom of the shoe. Yo, I promise you right now, Monet could never get her big, lumpy, sideways, fucking crooked ass foot in this shoe. Stones would be popping all off. They'd be ricocheting around the room.

[D]

This is a size 13 shoe.

[C]

Okay? I said 12. I have.

[D]

I don't know where my size 12 shoes are down.

[C]

Monique has literally. Maybe in third grade. Maybe in third grade, I wear a size 12. And Monet will be here today and I will. Her exploding feet will bust all out of the side of this shoe can.

[D]

This is a size small.

[C]

Look at her sweating. Sweating, cooking bitch.

[D]

Yeah, bitch. Yes, honey.

[C]

None of you been in the fudge. We do not wear the same shoes. That my foot is tiny and clean.

[D]

Tiny. Tiny for a fucking ochre bitch. Tiny.

[C]

And, honey, the tiniest shoe on this riverside. Jacob, shut the hell up, girl. No, don't. Don't fake the funk. Those of us who wear heel. We see your foot floating off the bottom of that motherfucker shoe, girl. Nice try, honey. Nice try.

[D]

Wait, so you. So you are going to. You. I'm very jealous that you. What?

[C]

Gotta hear some noises.

[D]

Go ahead. Oh, yeah. You remember how you.

[C]

Oh, how the tables have turned.

[D]

The tables have turned.

[C]

Monet. Be like, someone's in my home. Can I tell you guys there's a serial killer in la?

[D]

I know.

[C]

That's so creepy.

[D]

I know.

[C]

And he seems like the midnight soccer.

[D]

What is that? What does that mean?

[C]

Is that right, Jacob? Is he the Midnight Stalker? There's a whole Netflix documentary about him. He was a killer in the 80s, in the 90s, I believe, or maybe the 70s and 80s. 80s and something. And he would just basically go to houses, wiggle the doors, and if they're open, he'd go in and kill people.

[D]

Like what?

[C]

Midnight soccer. Midnight soccer. He did a lot.

[E]

Just night.

[C]

The Night stalker. The night stalker. And how many victims, Jacob? It was a lot.

[D]

Like, what's a lot?

[C]

Jake is going to tell you right now. I think he might be the most prolific killer in California. Maybe besides the Zodiac Killer. Maybe.

[D]

And was the Zodiac Killer, he just killed people based on their star sign?

[C]

No, the Zodiac Killer, I don't. I don't fully remember, but it has something to do with him sending messages to the police or The Zodiac killer.

[E]

15 confirmed. But there could be. There is some. There could be more.

[D]

The Zodiac Killer is an unidentified serial killer known. Wait, he was unidentified? They never caught him. That occurred.

[E]

He just stopped murdering people at some point.

[D]

Killer? No. For a series of murders that occurred in Northern California in late 1960s, early 1970s, he linked to five confirmed murders, with authorities suspecting he may responsible for additional killings. But why did. He's a Zodiac?

[C]

I don't know, bro.

[E]

He, like, left. He left. He was interesting because he left, like, behind, like, clues about his next murder and stuff, but they were, like, completely incomprehensible, and they're, like, in different language. So I. I believe, like, Zodiac was referencing to, like, the codes he would use and the messages that he left the police.

[D]

Yeah. In la. Like what? Like, once someone. Like, what compulsion do you have in your life that happens, that you want to go on a murdering spree, killing people? That shit is, like, crazy.

[C]

If you were a serial killer, how would you get away with it?

[D]

I don't think I would. I'll be so messy, I don't think I'll be able to get away with it.

[C]

Well, you and I are doing it together. How are we gonna get away with it? We're targeting. We're targeting, let's say Twinks. Drag queens. With who?

[D]

It wants Twinks.

[C]

Drag queens. Okay. We're killing Twinks.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

So how are we gonna get away with it? Wait, no drag queens. Just Twinks. We're targeting Twinks. Where are we shopping for our victims?

[D]

Oh, my God. At nightclubs. And we're gonna go to the Abbey. Cause they roof for everyone there. Anyway.

[C]

There's cameras everywhere.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, but you spot them there, and then we, like, we see them there at the Abbey. We make sure that they get roofied, follow them back, because everyone Drives in la, follow them back to their car and we kill them in their car.

[C]

You see, you're messy. We're getting them on Grind. This is why I'm not gonna do it with you. I'll just do it with someone else. We're getting them on Grindr.

[D]

Oh, and like.

[C]

And we have a fake profile. We have like a daddy profile. And it's like, I just want to spoil you.

[D]

Uh huh. And where do you. And where do you do the killing?

[C]

I would say at an Airbnb,

[D]

but people. But. And how do you. How are you getting this Airbnb?

[C]

Okay, maybe at a. At a. Okay, not an Airbnb. We could do it at a hotel.

[D]

A hotel.

[C]

It gets expensive.

[D]

Hotel is expensive also. But you have to have like a fake something because people are going to link you to these places. People get killed. Like, you have to rent the Airbnb. And unless you make up a fake profile.

[C]

No, it'd be a CD hotel. A pay by the hour hotel.

[D]

Pay by the hour. Okay. Bitch. Have you. Have you. Have you been fucked in an hour? Paid by the hour hotel?

[C]

I. No. I think the weirdest place I've ever fucked was maybe like, have I ever fucked anywhere weird? I'll tell you after the break.

[A]

We all prefer things a certain way. Like groceries. If you want groceries just how you like them, you gotta try Instacart. They have a new preference picker that lets you pick how ripe or unripe you want your bananas. Shoppers can see your preferences upfront, helping guide their choices. Because when it comes to groceries, the details matter. Instacart get groceries just how you like.

[C]

Close your eyes, exhale, Feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying.

[A]

Today, while I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new new contacts in time for this class, I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[C]

And breathe.

[A]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[C]

1-800-contacts. Weirdest place I've ever. I mean, I don't think a parking lot. Is that where I think a lot of people are? In parking lots?

[D]

Yeah, I don't think that's weird.

[C]

Weirdest place. I don't think I've ever really fucked anywhere weird. I mean, I've done some risque stuff like. Like a parking lot or maybe never

[D]

Anywhere weird in New York City? You never anywhere strange.

[C]

No, not weirder than, not weirder than, like a parking lot.

[D]

Like, that's so interesting. You saw Damn Vanilla.

[C]

I mean, one time I did fucking an abandoned apartment.

[D]

That's not weird, but it's more weird

[C]

than a parking lot.

[D]

And, like, mean. Like, someone just moved out of it and you fucked him. That's not weird.

[C]

So I hooked up. So I hooked up this guy, and he called. So this was, this was back in Craigslist days.

[B]

Ooh.

[D]

Oh, my God, the Craigslist killer.

[C]

So he was like, I can't believe I fell for this. I'm just gonna say that out loud right now. Current me, 20 something. 20, 22 year old me would have. 38 year old me would never have fallen for this. He was like, take the one train to 125. And I was like, okay, he's at 125. I got to 125. He goes, take the Metro north to Mount Vernon. No, I'm already at 125.

[D]

I'm not getting on the Metro North. The subway is one thing. The Metro north. Now I'm paying $5, but I'm already,

[C]

I'm already at 125. Nope, I'll go ahead. It's like another 10, 15 minutes. Go to Mount Vernon. Take a taxi to this bodega.

[D]

Why is the information coming in pieces? Why was it just giving the final.

[C]

Because I, I, I kept thinking each one was the final stop. Like, I'll see you here. Take this taxi to this bodega, okay? Buy me some cigarettes at the bodega.

[D]

You, you, you could have been Craigslist killed.

[C]

I'm like, okay, so gullible. Walk up this hill.

[D]

How long is this journey at this point?

[C]

At this point? Over an hour.

[D]

No.

[C]

And then we meet up the hill. And he goes, now follow me. Did you get my cigarettes? I said, I didn't buy the cigarettes. I don't have enough money for cigarettes. This is New York City, baby. Cigarettes cost $87 a package. Okay? I did not buy cigarettes. He says, whatever. We give the hill. He's like, we climb up a fire escape. A fire escape.

[D]

I know.

[C]

We climb into the window. The room has a bed in it. Just a bed. He says to me, I don't, I technically don't live here anymore, squatting. So we have to be really quiet.

[D]

Squatting.

[C]

And it was just the room. He's like, you can't, you, you cannot go into the, into the apartment. We cannot leave this room.

[D]

Was he cute?

[C]

He was very hot. And it was amazing sex.

[D]

Oh, you did it, bitch. You could have been Craigslist killed.

[C]

I killed. I killed something.

[D]

You know what? When we are young, we're just so. We're just so horny. I mean, I don't. Yeah, just as a young kid. You're so fucking horny and dumb.

[C]

I feel like I would remember what he looked like if I saw him today too. But it was. Oh, my God. It was 16, 17 years ago.

[D]

Yeah. That's wild.

[C]

He had braids. He was maybe your complexion.

[D]

The strangest place I've probably hooked up. I hooked up on at the. At the very, very end of the front car of the. The C train. Taking it to 1 35th street on

[C]

this platform in the little conductor area.

[D]

No, like off the train. Like we rode the train together. We got off the C train all the way to the end. Cause it's a pretty abandoned. It's a pretty empty thing. It was like late night. I just remember there were so many, like, rats and stuff running around. But I wanted dick so bad. I just was. I just wanted to have sex.

[C]

Would you ever fuck between cars?

[D]

No. That's dangerous, bitch. It could fall off.

[C]

You're not a real New Yorker, Death. You're such a fake New Yorker.

[D]

I love dick, but I don't love. I don't love dick as much as I love death. Death with much of love, dick.

[C]

Real New Yorkers would fuck on top of the train.

[D]

Have you ever seen those videos? New York City is wild. Have you seen this guy who, like, is Spider Man? He's like riding on the train.

[C]

Yeah, it's insane. How.

[D]

Why is he doing that?

[C]

Well, you're only like 125 in Queens. Like most of the Manhattan stops are underground.

[D]

I know, but that's crazy.

[C]

No, it's insane. I agree.

[D]

And then you ever see him fighting that. Fighting that. That.

[E]

That.

[D]

That black, heavyset homeless guy and they. They be having like B.

[C]

You've never seen this? Not that one.

[D]

They be having, like. Be having like, battles in the trade. It'd be crazy.

[C]

My friend, Sydney Washington in on it. Like, what is going on? My friend Sydney Washington said that only real New Yorkers would know about channel two.

[D]

Oh, my God. Channel two. And. And channel one.

[C]

What? Channel two channel.

[D]

Channel two news. Like CBS News.

[C]

He says it's just news 24 hours a day.

[D]

No, I think. I think she's talking about. That's channel one a.m. new York.

[C]

She might have said channel one.

[D]

I think channel one. Yeah. It's just all New York City news, All New York all day. New York news all day long.

[C]

The news gotta get boring at some point. Someone's gotta be like, margaret bought peaches. Right? Like, there's 24 hour news on one town. Can't be riveting the whole day.

[D]

Which, if y' all have seen this, Bob's new special is already out about his. About the one on Mother's Day. It's so funny. You guys should all go watch it. I was very impressed by. Thank you. He just showed me his little 10 minutes. Bob said, oh, oh, baby, you can see two seconds of it. He said, you're not gonna see the whole thing.

[C]

That's not what happened.

[D]

You didn't show me the whole thing.

[C]

Cause, Monae, you were working.

[D]

Okay, N. Did you ask me? You don't know what I was doing. I was on a break.

[C]

You act like I did a private screening without you.

[D]

You did. It was literally a private screening with Dylan Adler. Literally.

[C]

Okay, first of all.

[D]

You want to do a private screening?

[C]

First of all, it started with Patrick. That's. Cause Patrick was trying to get away from the oppressive, authoritarian boss that he has.

[D]

That's right. That gets shit done.

[C]

Named Kevin Burton.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

And he would literally come in here and cry. I would have to hold him good.

[D]

That bitch deserved to cry because of

[C]

how oppressive his boss is. And we watched the special, but Patrick was, like, being, like, yelled at by his boss to come back to work and literally wiping tears to go back to work.

[D]

Listen, we don't care about white tears here at Monation Jealousy. White tears mean nothing to me. I bottle them up and drink them.

[C]

And you must be in your life's words with Andy over there. I know that nigga be crying. He looks like a crier. Andy looks like a crier.

[D]

Andy's a crier. And like, can I tell you a trick that I learned from a very young age? I lear. I learned how to cry on cue. Like, I can just cry. It's like, I believe it.

[C]

You're manipulative.

[D]

It's my. Like, it's my. It's my one little acting trick I can do. I can just cry on cue if I need to.

[C]

I have only seen Jacob cry maybe twice.

[D]

Okay, tell us why.

[C]

Tell us why only one time.

[D]

Tell us why Jacob was crying on

[C]

the podcast when the one. The one about the state of America. Cuz you and I were crying, and then Jacob started crying.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, Jacob, that was so sweet. We were together for that one night.

[E]

You see me cry more times than that.

[C]

No, that's true. I have. I think that was the first time I saw you cry. Probably y' all were three years in. That's the first time I see him cry. That was the first time I saw you crying.

[E]

That was two years in. We started dating 2018, and then it was 2020.

[C]

Because I still remember we were sitting

[D]

here, the first tier, first of all. Y' all said I love you on the first day, and you ain't seen him cry until two years later.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

That's wild.

[C]

I still remember we were sitting in the basement. Were you over that time, Monae?

[D]

No, I was thinking I wasn't home. I was. Cause we were. We didn't wanna.

[E]

Yeah, we were. So. It was before we were in pods. It was when you were like.

[C]

And I remember Jacob was sitting. We.

[D]

I remember we were.

[C]

I was looking down. We were crying about something that happened to a young black girl. And then I remember Jacob took off his glasses and he did a little. His little face like this, and he was, like, crying because you and I were crying. It was just. It was a very. That's probably our most emotional episode.

[D]

It was.

[C]

That is our most. And then I saw Jekyll cry during

[D]

Game of Thrones when Daenerys gave the dragon and seceded Tarzan.

[C]

And I was.

[E]

No, it was specifically. It was the season finale, when. Spoiler alert. When Sansa Stark finally ascends to the northern throne.

[C]

And I was really irritated with Alfredo. I was so irritated with Alfredo that day.

[D]

Why?

[C]

Because Alfredo just goes, are you crying?

[D]

That is so Alfredo.

[C]

I was like. I remember being like, why would you ask that? Like, we're all sitting there watching this show, but it wasn't like, oh, are you crying? You know how Alfredo fucking said it? Like, yeah, it's a fucking sad moment. Jacob's been watching the show for, like, five, six years now, and this moment is sad. And Alfredo goes in front of everyone, by the way. It wasn't like it was a viewing party. Jacob's sister was there. Alfredo was there. His partner was there.

[D]

And you were there.

[C]

You were there. The lion was there. The scarecrow was there. And then Alfredo just goes, are you. And I know you're listening, Alfredo. I know you're listening.

[D]

I love Alfredo so much.

[C]

Alfredo goes, are you crying?

[D]

I was like, that's funny.

[C]

I remember, like, why would you. That's. Isn't that crazy?

[D]

That is so funny. It is so Alfredo.

[C]

And then I saw Jay would cry at Wicked. The Wicked Opening sequence.

[D]

Oh, that was recent. Okay, so Jacob has had three cries on record.

[C]

No, he cried at my mom's funeral.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Also when you're watching Coco.

[C]

During Coco. Yeah.

[D]

I don't get the Coco thing. Everybody's talking about this. I don't get. If I was there, I would have said to Jacob, are you crying? I don't get the cocoa thing.

[E]

That's crazy.

[C]

That's such an inappropriate response to someone crying. Can I just say right now, are you. Are you crying? Is a very inappropriate response to someone crying. That's. That's in the amount of vulnerability it takes to let someone see you cry.

[D]

That's so good.

[C]

And the trust lost when the person seeing you crying goes, are you crying? Is insane to me.

[D]

I've said it before a million times on podcast. The first time I ever saw Bob cry, before we were even really best friends, Bob had did the Miss the Our lady of Saliva pageant.

[C]

That's not even a good one, man.

[D]

And Bob had made all these costumes and worked so hard for this thing. And Bob should do this hair. And, you know, again, we were friends. We weren't like best friends or anything. I just. I knew Bob casually and then. So I just remember going upstairs because the bar, the performance thing was on the first floor. There's a second floor. They would let all the girls dress, and that's where everybody get ready. And I just remember going there, says, and Bob is. Y' all broken down and tired, sobbing, just weeping, boohooing, boo hooing. Because you were tired and you didn't do well in the pageant. You were just. Your body had just been done.

[C]

I came in second place. I did come in second place.

[D]

Cause you had lost.

[C]

I lost to Titania Steel.

[D]

Titania Steel.

[C]

She whooped me up. She whooped me up. Titania, if you're listening, you ate me up.

[D]

You did. Now she is a Delta flight. Delta flight. I see her pretty often when I fly.

[C]

I never get to see Titania. Still. I saw her at RIP Barracuda. Oh, she was there not the night of nothing. I saw her, like, I used to always go to Barracuda whenever I popped in, But I saw her, like, just randomly at Barracuda one night.

[D]

Oh, God, I gotta go.

[C]

Maybe, like. Maybe like five months ago.

[D]

I would say what? I love when you see honey, but when you see Titania in the sky, she's not just one of these little honey. She is the bitch at the front on the phone. She is the H. F. The flight leader.

[C]

The flight leader. The Flight leader.

[D]

She'd be up there like, all right. She runs the girls. She's in charge of the girls. I live.

[C]

I live honestly. Good for her. I wanted to be a flight attendant for a really long time.

[D]

I did, too, because it gave me the ability to travel.

[E]

Can you talk more about your inappropriate responses to crying?

[D]

Why?

[E]

I just wanted to finish that part

[C]

off before we move on.

[E]

What you think is an inappropriate response?

[C]

Oh, yeah, are you crying Is a completely inappropriate response to me. I think that what you should do is you should be like, what are you about to do, Jacob? What kind of shady shit are you about to do?

[D]

Yeah, Jacob. Yeah, please, Jacob, let us know. I'm just so happy. I miss you. Oh, my God. I'm crying.

[C]

I sent my sweet little baby.

[D]

Y', all.

[C]

Y', all. Money. Whenever Money shared that clip, she always clips the part of me saying, my sweet little baby, money is all money that you laughed at me. I was laughing because it was a sweet moment. Then I said, my sweet little baby, and I comforted your bald head.

[D]

No. You first said, are you crying?

[C]

No, but I didn't go, are you crying? I said, are you crying, my sweet little baby? There's a difference between Alfredo going, are you crying? And me, like, me being like. I was like, are you crying, my sweet little baby? I was being very sweet and compassionate to you. Bitch. Monet has called me furiously angry before. I don't think I've ever called you furiously angry.

[D]

Yes, you have.

[C]

No, no, no, no. I've called you crying, but I've never called you, like, furiously angry. You've called me, like, furiously angry.

[D]

I think there are two times you call me furiously angry. And we'll talk about offline.

[C]

The one time you called me, the first time you ever called me, like, I was like, what the fuck? I remember being like, do I need to, like, come? Like, what? It was when that guy. That guy who scammed you showed up in industry.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

Monet called. And I was like. I was like, monet, breathe, breathe. It was like, monet, sit down. You have to breathe. I would have. Fuck. I was like, girl.

[D]

The part.

[E]

The.

[D]

The two security guards and Cole. Not Cole. Oh, my God. Chris Dunbar were literally holding me back. I was on some extra. Girl. I was.

[C]

I don't think I've ever. I don't think I've ever needed to be held back. We'll talk about this break. About. About your anger issues. I don't think I've ever needed to be held back before it. And while I I've never lost control like that before.

[D]

I did. I lost control of that. And it's only happened a few, like three times in my life. I literally lost. I blacked out.

[C]

There's only been one time in my life where I think I would have had to have been held back. But it never came to fruition. It was when my childhood friend asked to stay with me and my brother during college. And then he. And then he robbed us. And I remember thinking to myself, I remember think. I remember thinking to myself, if I see him, I will try to kill him.

[D]

That's crazy. That story. I don't know. Do you remember what episode of podcast it was? You told a story. That story is still so wild. That is a crazy story.

[C]

I used to like. I used to like fantasize about seeing him and like brutalizing him.

[D]

That was crazy.

[C]

I would fantasize by sneaking up on him like, he stole all of my savings.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

He sold my PlayStation. He trashed our home, broke the door thing. And we were so poor. We was. We were so poor, we ended up getting evicted because of that.

[D]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[C]

Cuz he took my money.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

And I'm not gonna say his name,

[D]

but why, why, why are you trying to protect him? Well, his name was Antonio. I wish I. I wish I knew that that scammed me. I wish I knew his name actually.

[C]

Bleep his name. Because I don't want to start drama. I don't want him to break into my fucking house again. Still my shit again. Because I never. I can never prove it was him, but I know it was him.

[D]

Right?

[C]

That's why I want to. Because I can't prove that it was him. And what made me even more upset was that when the cops came. You ever. Did you know that they don't use. You know in. In movies, the fingerprint dust is white.

[D]

Yeah, bitch.

[C]

In real life it's black.

[D]

Huh? Why would've just changed it based on the surface?

[C]

I don't know, bitch. My whole kitchen covered in black dust. The whole kitchen covered in black. And the cops don't give a fuck. They will just leave your shit raggedy beat beat up and busted.

[D]

Cause they don't have. They don't. Yeah, they don't know. I'm like, all right, we did our job. We out.

[C]

I remember when the fucking.

[D]

When that. I don't know. I mean, I still don't know who did it to this point. That person that stole all my jewelry in New York City. The Cops came, bitch. They were, like, searching the hotel room. Look, it was a hotel room, so I didn't have to, like, clean it up. I was leaving the next morning. But, like, they ran.

[C]

You track hotel rooms?

[D]

I sure do, and I'll do it again. Bop, bop, bop, bop.

[C]

Do you think you leave hotel rooms messier than I do?

[D]

Yes. Bob, you're a tornado.

[C]

No, I'm not. I don't even unpack. I live out of the suitcase. I will be in a hotel for a month. I will live out of the suitcase. The girls who get to hotels and put their. People who get to hotels and hang their clothes and put them in drawers, that's insane to me.

[D]

If I'm going somewhere for more than a week, I'll do so because I want to wear different outfits and stuff like that. Bob, you. We literally do the podcast when you are doing a thing. When we have to do a podcast, you're at a hotel, bitch. Your entire room is turned upside down. I don't know how, but your room is upside down. Jacob, am I. Jacob, am I crazy?

[C]

Upside down is.

[E]

I'm not qualified to speak on my man in that capacity.

[C]

Upside down is crazy.

[D]

Yes. You always, like. And you literally comment on. You're like. You're like. You're like, how did.

[A]

How did.

[E]

How did I.

[D]

How did my room get so crazy? You literally say it on the podcast.

[C]

I may have said it once or twice, but for the general. For the general also. I let. I always. I do not put the. I don't put the. Don't disturb. I'm like, come clean this shit up.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I love that. But they just. They just do it at the most inappropriate times. And, like, there's no reason why you should be knocking. Knocking to clean my room at 8 o' clock in the morning. Nigga, it is too early to be. Why are you knocking? I am still asleep. And then I don't hear you through the door. You can say, no, not now. They're like, no, I'm okay. Coming in.

[C]

You get two knocks, I get a knock, knock, twist. I'd be like, please, please.

[D]

Oh, no, bitch. This might be. Y'.

[B]

All.

[D]

This might be inappropriate. I'm sorry, but if I am naked, I am not putting my. Because I said don't come in, and you came in, so I'm not covering myself up.

[C]

Are you an exhibitionist?

[D]

No, I'm not a voyeur or an exhibitionist. I don't get pleasure out of either of those things.

[C]

You know, you wouldn't Watch your neighbor jerk off if the windows were open, if it was hot.

[D]

But does that mean you're into if I? If I. If I.

[E]

That's voyeurism, not exhibitionism.

[C]

Well, Mane said I'm not de voyeurism or exhibitionism.

[D]

If I smoke meth one time, doesn't make me a meth head.

[C]

But if you murder one person, you're a murderer. If you murder one person, you're a murderer. You're not a serial killer, but you're a murderer.

[D]

Yeah. So if I. If I saw my neighbor. But how, how often I. That's literally never happened in my life. I've seen my neighbor jerking off.

[C]

I used to have a neighbor who would jerk off with. With his. Right by the window with his windows open. When I lived at 945Amsterdam, did you.

[D]

You never showed me this.

[C]

I mean, I couldn't time it.

[D]

Such like, amazing attractions over 945Amsterdam, he never shared with me.

[C]

I'd have to sit in my bedroom and lean back. And he was this guy, and he wasn't hot, but it was hot though. He would always jerk off right by the window. You remember my alley? I would. It was just a bunch of windows all. We were all just looking to this apartment.

[D]

That's some New York City shit.

[C]

Like my apartment I lived in the longest in New York City. When I looked out my bedroom window, I was looking into someone's bedroom. When I looked out my living room, I was looking into someone's living room. When I looked at my kitchen, I was looking into someone's kitchen and one of the bedrooms. If me and my neighbor opened, I went. We could grab each other's hands.

[D]

So New York.

[C]

That's how close we were. That's how close the walls were. I had. I had no street access. But I will say this, baby, that street was so fucking quiet.

[D]

You're the Amsterdam street.

[C]

Oh, Amsterdam. My apartment was so quiet. I never knew what people meant when they talk about loud. I was like, it is so quiet. I had a back. I had an alley facing apartment. It was just so, so quiet over there in my apartment was. I never heard noise.

[D]

I mean, you had the typical New York City noise, like sirens and shit. Yes.

[C]

Barely. Barely, baby. When I moved to motherfucking Washington Heights, that was a level of. I had a first floor corner apartment. I had never experienced noise like that in my life.

[D]

Wow. So you're saying.

[C]

I did not know that neighborhoods could be that loud.

[D]

So you're saying that black and brown neighborhoods are louder than others.

[C]

I'm saying my corner apartment was louder than my alley facing apartment.

[D]

And what was the predominant ethnicity of the people out there?

[C]

Dominican in the. In the Heights and over in. On the Upper west side. It was a lot of Africans, actually.

[D]

In your neighborhood, Bitch, there was one African restaurant on your block. It was predominantly Africans.

[C]

There were a lot of Africans on my block. And Middle Eastern people.

[D]

I don't know if that's true.

[C]

It is true.

[D]

The Upper west side is notoriously white.

[C]

I was at the very top of the Upper west side. Monae. I don't want you to tell me, but my block had a lot of people of color on it. I'm sorry to break the news to you. I hate to break the news to you, Mona, but I wasn't at 76 in Broadway. I was at 106 in Amsterdam. I was at the tippy top of the Upper west side.

[D]

Yeah, don't forget it. So stop saying the Upper west side. You lived in Harlem.

[C]

Harlem doesn't start till 125, but we

[D]

can have a start at 110. Actually.

[C]

Actually, that's Morningside Heights.

[D]

Oh, my God. See, this is. We talking about y'.

[C]

All.

[D]

Y' all transplants love to break, like, break it up into small.

[C]

I didn't break it up. It's already broken up. I didn't. I promise you. I didn't draw the lines.

[D]

Morningside Heights is basically har. Is. Is Harlem.

[C]

Morningside Heights and Morningside Heights. And you're not from Harlem. Okay? You're not from the Bronx. Where they will up any. From Brooklyn. And you're not from Harlem. Where they will up any, any.

[D]

Okay, I want to show this. See, there's no.

[C]

I can't see that. Screen grab is into the group. Monet's about to put her hand behind those. You slow mo ass bitch.

[D]

Like a Beauty Influencer from 2008. I Want Y'.

[B]

All.

[D]

This. They not break it down into these small subgroups. It is Harlem and it's Upper west side. Those are the big neighborhoods.

[C]

Okay, Monet, okay, first of all, this. There are no parameters on here. And what you'll see is, if you look, Harlem is not over on the Broadway side. Harlem is to the. Is to the east. It's not to the west. And then you have West Harlem up above where it says Broadway. Where it says Broadway. Up above, that's Morningside Heights. And I bet I. I'm willing to.

[D]

If you zoom in, I'm talking to a bigger.

[C]

But then I'm willing to bet A dollar if you zoom in.

[D]

That's what it said.

[C]

It would say Morgan St. Heights, but you'll also notice that it doesn't say the Heights. Are you going to now say that the top part of Manhattan is just called Upper Manhattan?

[D]

No, it's not based on heights.

[E]

Hold on.

[D]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[C]

So based on your map, there's no Washington Heights. It's just Harlem Heights. It's there.

[D]

I just didn't go that far.

[C]

Manhattan.

[D]

I didn't go that far up Washington Heights. Is there the big neighbors at Washington Heights? West Harlem. Harlem. Upper west side, Upper east side, East Harlem.

[C]

So what neighborhood is Upper Manhattan? Since we're looking at the map, since your map is the. Is the God of the universe, since apparently your map is the governor, what neighborhood is upper. Upper Manhattan?

[D]

That is. That is by Washington Heights, man.

[C]

What neighborhood have you ever heard called Upper Manhattan? So since this map is the. Is. Is. Is the God of the world, what neighborhood is called Upper Manhattan?

[D]

That is just a big term for those. All those neighborhoods. Washington Heights.

[C]

Yeah. Your map's stupid. It doesn't work.

[D]

It does work. Real New York is not a neighborhood.

[C]

Manhattan is not a neighborhood.

[D]

Real New York.

[C]

This is Apple Maps.

[D]

This is not Apple Maps, bitch. This is Google Maps.

[C]

People who use Apple Maps are insane.

[D]

I don't trust them. They shouldn't be trusted. They're bad people.

[C]

You are goofy if you use Apple Maps.

[D]

They're bad people. That's the people who. Yeah, people. People who navigate with Apple directions. They're clinically insane.

[C]

I will say this though, honestly, I feel bad that Gen Z will never have the experience of going to your printer and printing out MapQuest directions.

[D]

So I never had to do that for myself to navigate. But as a kid, yeah, we had to do that. Yeah.

[C]

Printing out MapQuest directions was a thing. You would go to your computer before you leave. You had to spend time map questing it. And then, I mean, obviously you would not MapQuest. Maybe to get like a.

[D]

What?

[C]

What the are you doing?

[D]

I'm listening. Talk.

[C]

You're like sticking scissors in your nose.

[D]

No, just a handle. I just want to do this. See if it could fit. It can't fit. Can't fit.

[C]

Just pull it out. You can pull it out because it's not pierced. You can ink it out.

[D]

Right?

[E]

Can you explain what's happening?

[C]

For audio listeners, Monet has a pair of scissors. Imagine the kind that Taylor's use that have the little. It looks like a Q1.

[D]

Looks like. Do you know what it's for?

[C]

I'm just for tailoring.

[D]

No. Do you know what that little tail is for?

[C]

No. What's it for?

[D]

It's for your finger to help to guide the scissor we need to remove.

[E]

Oh.

[C]

So that little part. Monet is sticking it in her septum ring, but it didn't fit, and it looked like she's shoving scissors up her nose.

[D]

Oh, my God, I forgot. Bob, you saw the septum. Why did you take it out?

[C]

It fell out one night in Miami when I was dancing, and I was just over it. Like, I didn't. Because my septums would, like. I don't know if everyone. But my septum, they would heal pretty quickly. I think I'm part Wolverine on my dad's side. My dad's like a quarter Wolverine. And I remember being like, I have to go. I was on tour, and I remember. I remember specifically I was looking at Milk when it fell out.

[D]

Like the drag queen?

[C]

No, a carton of milk. Yes, the drag queen.

[D]

I was just getting clarity.

[C]

So me and Milk were dancing, and then I just. I felt it fall, and I was like, I have to go get this fixed tomorrow if I want to keep my septum ring. And I just said this. It was my second time getting my septum pierced anyway. Actually, my third time, technically my third time, because the first time I got it pierced, it was crooked, and they had to take it out and re pierce it immediately.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah. And I just said, you know, I had it for years. I'm good now. I don't want to. I don't want to go through this anymore.

[D]

Damn. Yeah, I would. I feel like, yes. September was such a big part of your personality for so long.

[C]

I think you made it a big part of my personality.

[D]

But it.

[C]

I wasn't making a big part of my personality. I just had a septum ring.

[D]

When I say that, like, it was a very. It was. It was real. A big part of your aesthetic for a long time.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I did have a very large septum ring.

[D]

It was very big.

[C]

It was pretty big. But I wouldn't. I would never wear it in drag, though.

[D]

Well, because Bob had one. It didn't go. It was. It didn't connect all the way around. So just like, flip it into your nose or something like that.

[C]

Yeah, you just go like this. And then the ring would just be in my nose. But I. But I just didn't like the way it looked in drag. I mean, now I'm sure someone's going to find one picture of me with a septum ring and be like, like, oh, my God. People online are so ridiculous. I just posted a picture of me wearing some necklaces. It was like, I never wear necklaces.

[D]

Well, that's Bob. That's how you make it seem. Okay, what are the likelihoods that we're all crazy or you're a little hyperbolic when you speak?

[C]

First of all, everyone's not doing it. It's you and a couple of your raggedy ass monation people now. Now, what are the chances that monation is crazy? All of you? 100%. That's on 100%. But what ended up happening was sometimes Rob. Not sometimes. Often Rob styles me a necklace. If I'm wearing a necklace, it's usually through a stylist. But, like, when I'm doing my own thing, I don't normally wear necklaces, but there was a phase where I was wearing these giant drag necklaces. So I don't need y' all going back in my archives and seeing me in a necklace and being like, me, me, me, me, me. I have this scar on my face that's driving me insane right here. I picked a, I picked a scab yesterday, and I hate that I did it. And now I think I have a scar forever on my face.

[D]

Just put, just put, just make it a mole. Oh. Can I show you what I'm. Can I show you something I found the other day?

[C]

What? Stella Artois don't give no motherfucking free advertisement to no fucking beer company on this podcast. Cover your to walk back. No, don't. Don't walk with your back to us no more.

[D]

People like to be a fan of the way I get up and walk, y'. All. I, I, I just did. When that happens, I did leg day. Legs hurt. That's why I'm walking like that.

[C]

But you do everyday. Leg day. Oh, my God. Wow, y'. All. I got this. This is the jacket that I wore in my Lip Sync the final episode we did Gonna move into the House when me, Naomi Chi Chi Devane, and Kim Chi all did move into the house. And this is the jacket. I got this jacket at a thrift store. I love this jacket. I absolutely love this jacket.

[D]

Yeah, I was going through stuff as a giveaway, so I'm sending it to my little Goodwill.

[C]

You're not giving that away.

[D]

It's my jacket.

[C]

Don't play with me. Don't play with me.

[D]

It's my jacket now.

[C]

Don't play with me. Don't. Don't fucking joke around with me. That's not funny. Bring my jacket over here. When you fucking. When you come to. To get scrubbed with your short ass, you with your Lux London noir wig that you're gonna bring over here.

[D]

We shall see, ladies. We shall see.

[C]

Don't play with me. And I either bring my jacket back here or put my shit back on the motherfucking rack.

[D]

You're one of my favorite Bob and Monet arguments again, and you're wrong about this. Longtime listeners have heard.

[C]

And can you admit that you were

[D]

wrong in this long time? Listeners have heard this story, but Bob, before Drag Race or after Drag Race?

[C]

Before.

[D]

It was after.

[C]

I filmed it before it aired.

[D]

Bob the Cherry Pop directed by Assad Yaqub.

[C]

Can you bring up the. I'm gonna put the post in the media ch so that y' all can see the outfit.

[D]

It was Bob's first feature role, and he wore this gold. He wore this gold gown in it, right? He made this gown for the thing. He wore it in the movie Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom. Years later, Bob is giving. Bob used to, like, you know, I would go to his house. Bob would give me, like, old drag of his that I would wear. And then. So he gave me this dress. He's like, monet, you want the dress? I was like, yeah, I would love it. Gave it to me. It's my dress. I wore it a bunch of times to Bad Drag Queen. I wore it around town for a couple years.

[C]

But I want to be clear, it wasn't. Just let me finish.

[D]

Let me finish.

[C]

Because you're downplaying. You're downplaying.

[D]

Downplaying the dress.

[C]

I didn't just go, you want this piece of shit?

[D]

I did not say that. That's what I said.

[C]

But you. I was like, monet, this is the dress that I. Because every time. Monet knows this. When I give you something, I give you the story. The history of every. And Monet knows this. I give you the history of every item. I will give you. I did this with this. I made this with this. So I did not just give Monet a bag of garbage. And she found it in there. So let's just clear it up, okay?

[D]

But you gave it to who?

[C]

I gave it to you.

[D]

You gave it to me, right? So it's my dress, and it's. I wore it for years, y'.

[B]

All.

[D]

I wore it to gigs. I wore it to nice things. I wore it around. I wore this dress. I wore it a lot. It was falling apart. The sleeves, this was a mess, right? So I was on this show called Bad Drag Queen at Industry Bar on Tuesday night.

[C]

I'm getting. You know what I said? I've never crashed out. I'm about to crash out. I'm about to get. I'm about to have to be held back by this fucking mannequin behind me. Keep going.

[D]

And then. So I have my show called Bad Drag Queen.

[E]

Another.

[D]

Another thing that I gifted you that I made that. It went through the roof when I did it, honey. We tore it out.

[C]

Keep talking, bitch. And then.

[D]

So it was a song called Bad Dragon in New York, where the premise of the show was I would get contestants from the audience, three to four contestants from the audience, and they would go backstage.

[C]

And I'm so mad at. I'm gonna jump in now. Cause I'll let you tell too much of the fucking story. No, because you told enough.

[D]

And they will put on bad drag. Like, some, like, clothes. Basically, I would bring clothes from my drag wardrobe that I was done wearing so the contestants can wear in the show, and they can, like. And they would have to lip sync, do a little pageant walk. And then, like, to make. And so, you know, they get messy, just to be clear.

[C]

Not stuff like. Oh, it's like, stuff money. But I can't believe I ever wore this.

[D]

Okay, that's not true.

[C]

This show's called Bad Drag Queen because

[D]

the contestants are bad, not the clothes. So, anyway, so then. So I brought. So the gold dress again, y'. All. The sleeve was hanging off. It had holes. This dress had been through it, so fix it. So.

[C]

And also, you're over there. I have the dress here, so you're not gonna act like it was tattered and torn in pieces. The dress was not. There was no sleeve hanging off.

[D]

There was a hole in the sleeve. There was a big hole in the back of the sleeve.

[C]

Let me give this motherfucker. Keep telling your Taylor, can you grab that gold gown? The secret gold gown.

[D]

Introducing Taylor as Tyler is my favorite thing. And then. So I put in the Bad Drag Queen pile. I said. And one night, Bob was in town, and he came to come visit me at work. And we're backstage at Industry, and Bob

[C]

is looking through the bench rack pile.

[D]

He's like, monet, what is this? I'm so mad at you. I was like, what? He's like, monet, why is this dress in a Bad Dragon Ball? I was like, what? I was like, I don't wear it anymore. He's like, monet, I. I gave you the dress. I was like, I know, but I've been. I've worn it. He's like, monet, I wore this in Cherry Puff. I can't believe you would put this into bad drag queens.

[C]

When shitty amateur drag queens get drunk and spill drinks all over themselves, I'll just put it in the bag of shitty drag. Yo, did this leave like, it's hanging off to you?

[D]

Okay, Bob? You probably fixed it.

[C]

Is this Monet acting like it was threadbare?

[D]

You fucking.

[C]

That's wig hair. You fixed it. No, Monet. The wig was Monet. It was not falling apart, as you like to insinuate.

[D]

I think you probably fixed it, Bob. That dress, Bob, I wore that dress a lot. That dress was falling apart.

[C]

I can't. I still can't believe it. And when I was like, yeah, just threw it in the.

[D]

In the.

[C]

I. It's right next to that rainbow dress.

[D]

I was like, give it. I was like, give me this dress. I'll take this dress. I was like, no. I was like, what are the contestants?

[C]

They were still clothes. They didn't have only three outfits. It was a bin full of drag.

[D]

But the nice. Well, like, the nicer things which was dressed. This dress was one of the nicer things in there.

[C]

So I want to be clear. This jacket you have now. My pants for my special. My orange wig. They're loners, okay?

[D]

That's not how that works. You gave them to me. Now they're loners.

[C]

No, these are loners.

[D]

They're mine. I keep them.

[C]

They're loners.

[D]

I keep them. For when you. For when I. For when I need to, like, sell your things and make money.

[C]

I'm telling right now. I'm not playing with you. I'm going to be upset with you if you ever sell any of those things.

[D]

What if I need the money?

[C]

Then sell it to me, bitch.

[D]

What if you can't? What if you need the money, too?

[C]

Then Jacob's parents will buy it.

[D]

Rosa Dean.

[C]

Yep. That is so irritating. I'm still mad at you for that. That was crazy. And you knew what the dress was when you put it in there.

[D]

Honest, to be honest, I didn't know you were that sentimental about it. I really didn't know it was that sentimental at the time. Now, over the course of our friendship, I see how sentimental you get about things.

[C]

Monet was like, what? This is just the dress. Monet's like. Monet put. Monet will put this dress in the fucking thing. Like, it's literally just the dress you won drag race in. It's literally just your crown and scepter. Like, What?

[D]

Wait, what is that red V on that dress? What is that?

[C]

It is a. It's just a. I'll show you. I am the champion of After Midnight's March Madness comedy thing. I think I am now technically the most winning person in the history of After Midnight. I tell you.

[D]

How many would you got?

[C]

I've done the show five times and I've won four. Well, and I'm doing it again.

[D]

I have a better track record than you. I did it. I did it three. I did it three times and I won three times.

[C]

You done it twice?

[D]

Twice. Twice. I did it twice and I won twice.

[C]

To be clear, I was two for two by that time as well.

[D]

But you're not now. You're four for. You're four for five.

[C]

Like, I want to tell someone this. Like, people were talking about. I don't know if this sounds really petty and ridiculous, but I was talking about the. Hear me out. Hear me all the way out. Before you jump. Before you jump to conclusions. In my humble opinion, the fact that I have three wins on my season is more impressive than having four wins on a longer season. I won almost half the challenges my season, so I won three episodes in like six episodes or seven episodes, something like that. So in the first six episodes, I won half of them.

[D]

So if you win four, if you

[C]

win four times in a 16 episode season, it's not the same as winning three times in an eight episode season.

[D]

Your season only had eight episodes?

[C]

Eight or nine. Let me Google it. Jacob, can you look it up real quick? It had either eight or nine episodes your season.

[E]

Season eight.

[C]

Yeah, it's eight or nine. Maybe, maybe ten. But I think it was eight or nine,

[E]

ten episodes.

[D]

Okay, so you won three out of.

[C]

And the last two episodes, no one wins.

[D]

I mean, in 16, no one wins the last two either. So there's 14.

[C]

So there's eight episodes that you could win on. And I won three of the challenges.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

And then in theory, I won the last episode. So I. I kind of have four wins.

[D]

So someone like Anya or Simone, who they won four in 14. Oh, no, I think Simone's season had 14.

[C]

It's not. Not impressive. They all have more. Shea has more wins than me. Anya Nerve has more wins than me. A lot of queens have more wins than Trinity. The Tuck has more wins than anyone. Yeah, she's the most. She's the most challenge winning drag race in the history of drag race.

[D]

She's also done it three times, though.

[C]

You've done it three times.

[D]

I know.

[C]

So why are you discrediting her?

[D]

I'm not discrediting her.

[C]

No, you did. You were like, yeah, but she's done it three times.

[D]

Whatever.

[C]

Why, why would you, Are you jealous

[D]

of your Twitter Trinity? And I, I, I'm so happy Trinity lives in la. Now I can, I can finally have like a real best friend.

[C]

Yeah, enjoy that. And do, and, and, and maybe y' all should, you know, let's see, let's see, let's see if you how she feels about you taking her drag and throwing it in a trash can and rolling it down a hill and then putting an amateur bodybuilder in the dress for laughs. Let's see how Monet had some brolic ass fucking yoked man trying to cram his. Just like shoving his giant arms into my dress.

[D]

Oh, that was, this is hilarious.

[C]

Like ripping my shit to shreds. That show was actually quite brilliant.

[D]

Rat Dragon was a great show. It was, it was, I had. Okay, before we go, last thing. Out of all your gigs in New York City, what were your top three that you love doing? For me? My top three I loved was my number one was my one on one show I did on Saturdays. Favorite show I loved. Huh, Where Hardware then I loved my Saturday show. My one woman show was my favorite. Bad Dragon was number two. And third would have to have been. I wish. See, Bob and I never did like a show together. I think I would have loved that. But it had to be the Help with Pixie number three.

[C]

The Help was a good show. My number one is the Bob show. Number two is probably the Help. And number three, it could be a toss up because I really enjoy doing Sisters with Frosty Flakes. And I also love doing Bad Drag Queen.

[D]

I love the Bad Drag Queen. That's such a cool thing.

[C]

So you have a concept real quick. Bad Drag Queen. The way it works is we come out at the beginning top of the show and we, I come at the top of the show and I would do this. I would open with a number and then I would tell the theme of the show. I pick three people from the audience who are gonna participate in a pageant. They're all, they're, they're all doing a pageant and then they go backstage and then a 10 minute ticker shows up on the screen. During this 10 minutes, they have to get in full drag. They get backstage. There is makeup, there are wigs, and there are dresses and there are shoes. And then I would do some comedy and then I would perform a number and then when it comes out we name them by putting. By putting cardboard. Cardboard name tags over them. One by one, they come out, they get their name. So there's a presentation. It's such a funny idea for a show. The presentation. They'd come out, and I'd make up facts about them. I would name them, and then we would do the Q and A where they come one by one. We'd ask them questions. And then the final step is we'd have a talent show where we would play a song. They would lip sync to whatever number

[D]

we would be a person or chorus of a song.

[C]

Yeah. And then the audience would clap for who their favorite was.

[D]

And then the top two would lip sync for their life.

[C]

Yes. And then that one would win. Like, they won money, didn't they?

[D]

No, I think it was 100 bucks, I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or maybe like. Maybe like 3 bucks. Whatever it was, it was something. It was obviously low lift, but low stakes. But it was honestly a really fun idea.

[D]

And people. Let me tell you something. People would. It was such a fun, successful night. Cause people would just always want to come because a. To get the chance to do it because there was no pressure. And then people would bring a lot of their friends and family because they would just want to see their brother get up and drag or whatever. It was always a fun. I love. Honestly, I think if I was this. If I was still a local queen in New York, that show would still be going on.

[C]

I think Egypt was born from that show.

[D]

She was. Egypt was born from that show.

[C]

And that was third.

[D]

That was one of your top three, or it was in tie with something else. That's crazy.

[C]

But also some of my favorites from that show were Larry, Darnell, Penn Whitfill, when Larry would come by and get up there. I've actually competed before.

[D]

Did you.

[C]

You were hosting, and I competed.

[D]

Did you win?

[C]

I don't remember. I don't. I don't remember.

[D]

Wait, was this a concert that you came up with or Chris and you.

[C]

Me and Bob came with it together.

[D]

Bob Pontarelli. Yeah. Work.

[C]

Because before it was me and Bianca show.

[D]

Right. And it was called, like, ride or funny or Funny or fry or something.

[C]

Funny or Fry. Yeah. Where it was actually, we had a great crowd. It was me and Bianca reviewing YouTube clips and stuff throughout the week, social media stuff. And we would just read each other and then read the clips and the people in the clips. Yeah. That was a fun show.

[D]

It lasted so. Sure. It was like. Like a few months.

[C]

And then Bianca went off to then drag race Came out. So Bianca.

[D]

We.

[C]

Me and Bianca did it after she filmed Drag Race before it aired.

[D]

Right.

[C]

And then Bianca went away, and then it became bad drag queen.

[D]

Right?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Work. All right. That was a fun one.

[C]

All right, y', all, thank you all for joining us today. Check the tick tock to find out who had the longest hair. Plot twist. I mean, spoiler alert. It's gonna be me.

[D]

It's not easily. It's actually gonna be May, because that's what today is.

[C]

So where we, where are we measuring from?

[D]

We're gonna be in the middle. You want to start from here? I want to start from here.

[C]

No, no, let's start from here. We'll start from. Let's, let's, let's, let's do your little thing. We'll start from here. Cause I got a little. Cause I got little moves I want to do, too.

[D]

You see? See, I'm not trying to do moves and do sneaky. You're trying to be sneaky and do moves.

[C]

I got moves I want to do two.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Cause I believe when you measure a braid, you got to zigzag.

[E]

Right?

[D]

Okay, so I'll do that too, then.

[C]

You gotta follow the braid.

[E]

Right.

[D]

I'll do that too, then.

[C]

Right. Jacob, who do you think's gonna win?

[E]

I don't know enough about Monet's wigs and drag wardrobe to accurately make that assessment, because I don't know what wigs she has. I know you have some very long wigs, and I think off the top of my head, you probably will win. But I also. But I also. That's only based on my knowledge of what I've seen from you. And I also think it's quite equally possible that Monet has something that I haven't seen. That is a high possibility. So I, I, if I had to really say. But I. I'm saying this without a full scope of knowledge. Make an informed decision.

[D]

Jacob, if you're wrong.

[C]

Jacob, if you're wrong, me and Monet are both going to get on your back and you're doing pretend push up that flattened to earth. All right, I have to go. See you soon. I'll be here.

[D]

I want to see you very soon.

[C]

Yeah, swing on by and get embarrassed and, and, and, and, and take my jacket off where you do your push ups. I don't want you ripping these arm sleeves too goodby.