The One About Fear (Re-Release)

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Fear (Re-Release)"

Episode Date: October 12, 2022
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

In this lively, hilarious, and unfiltered episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change tackle the topic of fear—from personal phobias and scary life encounters to pop culture’s take on terror and broader existential anxieties. Sprinkled in are their signature banter, candid storytelling, and a few lighthearted tangents. The episode is a rollercoaster that moves from tattoos to terrifying subway moments, phobias, scary movies, and even the terrors of modern technology.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tattoos, Pain, and Personal Symbolism

(Starts ~04:10)

• Monét contemplates a new, much bigger tattoo, inspired by Rihanna’s constellation of stars but with a personal twist—bubbles and color to represent her "sponge" identity from Drag Race.
• Bob teases Monét about the pain of tattoos, mentioning their respective tattoo experiences, color on dark skin, and referencing Thorgy Thor’s similar “bubble” tattoos.
• Both compare and contrast their tattoos, describing the stories and meaning behind each. Bob’s include “butch queen” on the hands, celebrity tributes, and a dead fish (“it’s okay to make mistakes,” ironically, is his worst tattoo).

[Bob, 04:32]: "It stands for fellowship, service, and unity."
[Monét, 04:41]: "I was always afraid to get tattoos... and I still am afraid of tattoos."

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2. Transition to Fear – The Episode’s Core Theme

(Begins ~09:41)

• Bob commends Monét on a smooth transition to the fear topic, setting the tone for humor mixed with vulnerability.
• The duo explore their respective greatest fears, getting candid about their scariest personal moments.

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3. Personal Stories of Fear: Real-Life Scares

(10:07–17:00)

• Bob and Monét share harrowing stories of living in NYC, late-night subway rides, and dangerous run-ins, debunking the myth that “Drag Race girls” haven’t faced real struggle.
• Monét describes being confronted and robbed on the subway:
  [Monét, 13:54]: "...he was standing in front of me... ‘What’s in your bag?’...I had my laptop in there... He took my debit card. As soon as I got off the train I just called Chase and canceled it."
• Bob elaborates on the relatability and fear of violence in New York, especially for queer black people.

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4. Fear of Dying Alone & Urban Anxiety

(17:18–18:54)

• Bob’s biggest fear: dying alone, the classic “no one finds you for a month” New York scenario.
• The “four ways to be a New Yorker” is discussed: born in NYC, mugged, live there 10 years, and get hit by a cab.
• Monét contrasts: not afraid to be alone, enjoys solitude.

[Bob, 17:22]: “I do not like the idea I’m gonna die in my apartment, and no one’s gonna find me for a month. There’s gonna be a smell.”

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5. Phobias & 'Fear Factor' Fantasies

(19:32–22:00)

• The conversation pivots to classic fears: bugs, public stunts, and hypothetical ‘Fear Factor’-style challenges.
• Monét claims she’d do a photo shoot covered in roaches, egged on by Bob who calls her bluff and reminisces about TV shows mixing fear and performance.

[Monét, 20:35]: “I think it would be fucking—yes, it’d be dope. It’d be fierce.”

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6. Scary Movies & Pop Culture Fears

(21:00–27:55)

• A debate over favorite scary movies: Monét loves "The Strangers" for its randomness and real-world horror, Bob champions "The Conjuring."
• Discussion on how certain films—like “Paranormal Activity”—became historic hits on tiny budgets.
  [Bob, 27:23]: “If you think it was a million bucks, you’re about to—$11,000!”
  [Monét, 27:31]: “That movie cost less than my music video!”

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7. Technology Anxiety & Social Media Creeps

(44:58–47:46)

• The duo riff on technology as a source of modern terror: hidden airplane cameras, Facebook’s privacy concerns, targeted ads, and AI.
  [Bob, 47:04]: “One day we’re going to be in very Terminator realness... RoboCop is gonna come get you.”

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8. Phobias and Psychology

(34:07–36:09)

• A deep dive into named phobias—from trypophobia (fear of holes) to the fear of clowns (“coulrophobia”) and long words (hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia).
• Bob reveals a period of obsessive phobia trivia as a child.

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9. Fear as a Growth Tool—Debate

(37:39–41:39)

• A nuanced debate on whether fear is healthy:
  • Bob: Fear is evolutionarily useful—protects from danger.
  • Monét: Too much fear stunts personal growth; overcoming fear is essential for self-improvement.
• The number one fear in the world? Public speaking.

[Monét, 37:56]: “Fear can also prevent you from growing.” [Bob, 37:41]: “That’s the number one fear in the world—public speaking.”

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10. Overcoming Fears—Personal Stories

(42:27–43:54)

• Both hosts talk about childhood speech impediments and how they overcame the fear and stigma via practice and supportive family.

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11. Classic SR Banter: Competition, Weight, and Shady Jabs

(49:01–56:44)

• The episode's final stretch is all shade, games, and classic sibling rivalry—competing over Mortal Kombat, weight, who’s really skinnier, acting challenge victories, and professional achievements.
• Multiple facets of the drag world—money shadiness, industry pay scales, and behind-the-scenes struggles—get dragged into the light with wit.

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12. Closing Reflections on Fear

(54:52–end)

• Both agree that fear, in moderation, is useful, but overcoming it is key—unless, Bob adds, it’s not affecting one’s life negatively.
• Last-minute jokes about being black and gay in Mississippi, the terror of oppressive environments, and a flurry of callback jokes wrap up the episode on a note equal parts serious and irreverent.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [Bob, 09:41]: “Monet, that transition. Monet, I gotta give you a prop. That was a good transition. The subject is fear and Monet, that transition.”
• [Monét, 13:54]: “He was like, ‘What’s in your bag?’ I was like, ‘Nothing.’ ...He took my debit card. As soon as I got off the train I just called Chase and canceled it.”
• [Bob, 17:22]: “I do not like the idea I’m gonna die in my apartment, and no one’s gonna find me for a month. There’s gonna be a smell.”
• [Monét, 20:35]: “I think it would be fucking—yes, it’d be dope. It’d be fierce [to do a bug photo shoot].”
• [Bob, 27:23]: “If you think [Paranormal Activity] was a million bucks, you’re about to—$11,000!”
• [Bob, 37:41]: “That’s the number one fear in the world—public speaking.”
• [Monét, 37:56]: “Fear can also prevent you from growing.”
• [Bob, 47:04]: “One day we’re going to be in very Terminator realness... RoboCop is gonna come get you.”
• [Bob, 54:01]: “My grandma said, don’t ever be afraid of a broke black man from the hood. Be afraid of a rich white man from Washington.”
• [Monét, 44:44]: “This is a very healthy conversation about fear. And I think that we’ve both learned some things.”

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Structured Episode Flow with Timestamps

• 01:21 – Bob and Monét tease what’s coming: tattoos, fears, iconic quotes
• 04:10 – Tattoo talk and pain/bravado
• 09:41 – Transition to “the fear episode”
• 10:07–17:00 – Personal scare stories from NYC nightlife, subways, and drag queen struggles
• 17:18 – “Greatest fears” discussion—a philosophical turn
• 19:32 – Phobias, bugs, and Fear Factor dreams
• 21:00 – Scary movie throwdown: “The Strangers” vs. “The Conjuring”
• 27:23 – Horror movie budgets and viral pop culture phenomena
• 34:07–36:09 – Phobia rapid fire and the psychology of fear
• 37:39–41:39 – Is fear healthy? Debate ensues
• 42:27–43:54 – Overcoming childhood impediments
• 44:44–47:46 – Technology as a source of fear (privacy, AI)
• 49:01–56:44 – Drag banter: Mortal Kombat, challenges, weight, shady industry truths
• 54:52–end – Final thoughts on fear, being black and gay in the South, closing roasts

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential slice of Sibling Rivalry: honest, wickedly funny, at times profound, and always deeply relatable to queer and black experiences. Bob and Monét swap stories about fear’s many forms—personal, societal, existential—underscoring that everyone, even icons, copes differently. Filled with quotable moments, teachable lessons, and signature shade, the episode weaves wisdom into laughter and, by the end, leaves listeners feeling a little braver and seen.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

close your eyes. Exhale.

[C]

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[D]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[D]

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[C]

My name is Bob the drag Queen.

[D]

And I'm Monet X Change.

[C]

And this is sibling rivalry.

[D]

On this episode, we talked about tattoos,

[C]

our greatest fears, and we find out

[D]

what made me say this. I would.

[C]

So if.

[D]

Let's bet $1,000. I will beat you in a round of motor content.

[C]

Is this one round two out of three? It was one round.

[D]

One round and we find out what made Bob say this.

[C]

Pay your bills. You just won $100,000.

[D]

I feel like I am Alaska. Why you feel like Alaska's chaser? Why? I just want to talk like her. Do you listen to their pod?

[C]

Not do you?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

I don't. You got me. I've never listened to racechaser and I've never listened to whimsically volatile, but I will listen.

[D]

You did tell me listen to whimsically volatile.

[C]

I started to her first episode the same as never. I said I. I didn't. I never use the word never. I said I don't listen to them.

[D]

Got it. You got to listen to them. And I'm currently on tour with Willem in the haters Rose and we're talking about that we should do a crossover episode.

[C]

You listen to every race chaser?

[D]

Not everyone. I listen to a lot of them.

[C]

Like three.

[D]

I listened to probably about seven of them.

[C]

Work.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Stunning.

[D]

You did it today. You took an estrogen. We are in my apartment.

[C]

We're in YouTube Studios.

[D]

In my apartment, Bob. So I was being. Shit.

[C]

Monae lives in YouTube studios. And actually, I feel like we're like. We have a radio show.

[D]

You hear that? Sirius. Get it together. Give us a motherfucking show.

[C]

Yeah, we serious. Serious.

[D]

Do you think Siri comes to a Sirius?

[C]

No, I. Well, Sirius comes from, like, the moon or a wolf or something like that. And then. Right.

[D]

I don't think Apple just. Is Siri such a random.

[C]

No, serious.

[D]

I think Apple got Siri from Sirius.

[C]

It probably stands for something like. Like, System Interpersonal Relations, Interception Interpreter.

[E]

So serious. Sirius, pronounced Sirius, is the brightest star in the constellation Canis.

[C]

Major moons. I said moons.

[D]

Oh, what does an apple tell.

[C]

And what is. No, you asked if Siri comes from Sirius, and I said, I think Sirius comes from the moons. I said a wolf, but I said moons too. And then we mentioned Siri. I think it stands for something.

[D]

System integration, Relationship Interpersonality.

[C]

There you go. I think Siri is some intern who works at Siri. Some bitch. I work at Siri. I work at Apple. My name's Siri. You know, Tom from Facebook was not really the owner of Facebook.

[D]

Oh, really?

[C]

He was just an intern. It was that picture of that guy that was just. Literally just some intern. Not Facebook. MySpace. He was just some intern at MySpace.

[D]

Oh, right. Yeah. Well, we all knew that.

[C]

I didn't know that. Anyone in this room know that.

[D]

Okay. You talking about.

[C]

Y' all can't see everyone shaking their heads, but that was a lot of.

[D]

No, no one shook their heads.

[C]

I won that challenge. Another. Anything you can do, Any challenge.

[D]

So I wanna get a tattoo, A new tattoo. As you know, I have, like. I have a couple tattoos. I have.

[C]

What's that, man? He like, what, five?

[D]

I have the one on my wrist.

[C]

This one.

[D]

I have this one here, which I got. This is my first tattoo ever.

[C]

The bass clef. Oh, my God.

[D]

You look at. Okay, I'm not. You get.

[B]

You know what?

[D]

A bass clap. Oh, my God.

[C]

When I was like, you know the word music.

[D]

And I have one down my back, which you were there for. And now you have three. I have three.

[C]

Work.

[D]

So now I wanna do this one. This one's gonna be very big. So you know how Rihanna has the stars going on her?

[C]

Did not know that.

[D]

It looks like a little constellation, like a little trail of a bunch of stars. I wanna get the same thing, starting here on my index finger, going up a trail.

[C]

You want a tattoo on your hands?

[D]

You said the bitch with 18 tattoos on her hands.

[C]

I Have five tattoos on my hands. So why you sound so. Because I was there when you got your back tattooed, and you were causing an actual scene in the tattoo parlor.

[D]

I'm gonna Cause probably even a bigger scene, but I'm sorry.

[C]

Getting your hands hurt.

[D]

Well, you never got your spine hurt. Spine tattooed, so you don't know how much it hurts compared to tattoos.

[C]

I have a very small tattoo on my spine.

[D]

Yeah, but not your. And mine is down my entire back.

[C]

But like you said earlier, you said never. I certainly have a very small tattoo on my spine also.

[D]

It's literally at the top of your neck.

[C]

That's my spine moment. My spine is my spine is My spine is my spine.

[D]

Oh, so you have like a fucking circle and a triangle or something like that. What is it?

[C]

It stands for fellowship, service, and unity.

[D]

And what is that? Umoja. Is that something like some Kwanzaa tradition I don't know about?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's the day after umaja Umoja.

[D]

So I want to give that because, you know, honestly, the sponges clearly are very big part of my life.

[C]

Getting a sponge?

[D]

No, I'm getting bubbles to signify sponges. I'm like a bubble trail.

[C]

Virgie has bubbles.

[D]

Does she?

[C]

Oh, yeah, she does have bubbles all of her neck. Okay, so you're jockeying Thorgy style. Continue.

[D]

I'm gonna get it going out of my hand probably to about my elbow moment. Like a huge trail of bubbles and with green and blue swerves and shit.

[C]

That's hood.

[D]

It's very hood.

[C]

You about to look hood as hell. Oh, but also, I don't think you realize that on the highly melanated as. What's it like to say blue and green and.

[D]

No, no, no, no, honey, that's the wrong blue. Greens and reds are the colors that do show up on black folk. The guy that we were going to in Atlanta, Maya Bailey, who is. Check out Maya Bailey on inst. His tattooing is like. He's like, one of the deal with tattoo artists in the world, and he specializes in color on black.

[C]

Maybe you're black. I'm black black. You're obama black. I'm 12 years a slave black.

[D]

Okay. No, you're a patsy.

[C]

Who's patsy?

[D]

It's for me to slave.

[C]

I haven't seen moon in a long time. Yeah, Lupita. I'm like, Lupita's darker than I am, but I'm dark.

[D]

You are virgin.

[C]

I'm like, one of the darkest people.

[D]

You know, probably that's not true.

[C]

If you Name three people darker than me right now.

[D]

Jaslyn, who is Todrick Dancer, the one with the blue hair. You know, Jaslyn, Jazlyn. Charmaine, who is you just saying names.

[C]

Charmaine, my cousin from Bed Stuy and Youterrica, who work at the front desk here at YouTube Studios.

[D]

I do have a friend named Charmaine and my cousin Nadia, who is very dark as well. Bob, first of all, it's like you thinking like, I've never met black people. I know a lot of black people I meet.

[C]

Well, you went to an Ivy League school. I don't know your life. So were there a lot of black folks at your Ivy League school where you were Ivy League educated about that bass clef life? Music equals bass clef life. Does your tattoo mean music equals bass clef life?

[D]

Just music equals life. The bass clef is just like a

[C]

little decoration, but it reads as music equals bass clef.

[D]

That is not true. You're the only person who's ever said that.

[C]

But look at it. I mean, hold it out. It says music equals. And there's a bass clef bass clef. And then it says life, Bob.

[D]

But no one reads it like that.

[A]

You.

[C]

I should go over my tattoos that I have real quick, since we're doing tattoos. I have butch Queen on the back of my hands. I have eyelashes and eyebrows on my hands.

[D]

And when you first got that tattoo, you do this to you. You're so fucking weird.

[C]

I have a dead fish tattoo.

[D]

Cause you got. Cause of fucking. What's her name?

[E]

Bless you.

[C]

Bless you. Thank you. It was Kesha and McFrida. We got them matching eyes.

[D]

Who eyes?

[C]

I have hard eyes. Hard ice from Drag Race.

[D]

That's what they say. You on Drag Race? When you little anecdote. When I went to go film Drag Race and you know they tell you hard ice so that you save all conversations for camera. You know, Pearl, the cameras are rolling. That's when you talk. And then the pas. There's a very, like, the head pa. Her name is Ellen.

[C]

Ellen. Shout out, Ellen.

[D]

Shout out. Ellen. Who runs Drag Race? Is that. I mean, who runs DragCon? She was saying Bob was the hardest person they have ever had to ice on set. They'd be like, hard ice. And Bob would just keep on talking, and it would be like, hard ice, ladies. Hard ice. Let's talk. And Bob would just talk and talk and talk and talk. You were in history the hardest person ever had to hard ice.

[C]

I have a lot to talk about.

[D]

We know you won't shut up.

[C]

I Have a lot to talk about anyway. Then I have Whoopi Goldberg, Carol Channing. Also my worst tattoo, which is kind of ironic. On my arm, it says it's okay to make mistakes. And it's a horrible tattoo. You can't even read it.

[D]

You can't read it at all.

[C]

It looks like it's okay to make rectangle. I have this fellowship service in Unity. I have two dates on my back. I have.

[D]

Oh, my God. You have a lot of tattoos.

[C]

I have. I get up out of bed, I put on my clothes. I got bills to pay on my chest.

[D]

When you got down, people are like, what is this bitch doing?

[C]

And I have a duck on my

[D]

throat in honor of Jinkx Monsoon. Yes.

[C]

And you're getting ducks in honor of.

[D]

I was always afraid to get tattoos. I was like, tattoos hurt, and I still am afraid of tattoos.

[C]

Monet, that transition. Monet. Monet, I gotta give you a problem. That was a good transition. The subject is fear and Monet, that transition.

[D]

Get your ass off of me.

[C]

Oh, shit. Mo with the transition.

[D]

So extra.

[C]

I'm giving you props. Mo with the transition. Today's. Am I transitioning, Monet? Jesus Christ. Today's topic is fears.

[D]

We were talking about fears. What is the scariest thing you've ever done?

[C]

Maybe the scariest thing that ever happened to me.

[D]

Maybe it happened to me. Yeah.

[C]

When have I ever just been, like, truly terrified? I think maybe. I don't know. I can't remember being truly like, this is so scary. I don't think that I can make it through this. I've never been in a serious car accident. I've never broken a bone. I've never been hospitalized. I've never. I don't think I've ever seen a gun that wasn't on a police officer. I've never been abducted by the Mexican cartel. I wasn't. You know, I don't. I. I. I feel like I'm inviting it. I'm like. I'm like, nothing's happening. Like, I'm gonna, like, something like, knock on some wood.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Knock on. Yeah. This plywood tape. Exactly. What about you?

[D]

The scariest thing besides that we talked about before, about that time I went to go hook up a trade in the Bronx and I got off the elevator.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That was pretty. Yeah.

[D]

That was scary.

[C]

When I told you when I got my grinder. Trade robbed me, right? That was pretty scary.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But I was also angry. I was so mad.

[D]

Were you mad that you didn't.

[C]

That I didn't get revenge Yeah, I wanted to break something in that room. I wanted to break a computer or something.

[D]

Bitch. Then I would've put you in some real hot water.

[C]

Probably. They probably would've beat me up. There was like five of them one

[D]

time though, when I first started drag and I was also really quick. People love to be like, oh, draggers, girls, they don't know what it is to struggle. And da da da da da, bitch. When I used to work before I started driving my car to gigs, I would take the train home after Saliva Tuesdays, which ended at 4 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[D]

We didn't go eat at the diner until 5:30, 6 o' clock in the

[C]

morning and saliva Wednesday morning.

[D]

So exactly. I'll get on the train at like 4 or 5 o' clock in the morning. And that is a dangerous sign to ride the subway.

[C]

Well, I think a lot of people think that drag race girls don't struggle. Most drag race girls lived the life of a local queen before they became drag race queens. With the exception of like Shangela, who has always been a drag race girl, and Valentina, who has always been a drag race girl.

[D]

No, she says that, but there's that whole. If that was debunked that she was. Valtina was two years.

[C]

Valentina like did a. I think Valentina was a fair weather queen doing drag every couple of months until she got

[D]

on a drag race probably.

[C]

And Vivienne Pinay, Vivian Pinay, you remember Vivna was like, I'm a New York City queen.

[D]

We ain't seen her ass nowhere and

[C]

ain't seen her since she got a job like working at like Disney as like a head makeup artist or something.

[D]

Oh, well, that's Paris.

[C]

Yeah, good for her.

[E]

Good for her.

[D]

One of my scary stories I had again, I've grown up in New York City. I've never been mugged or anything like that. But then this one time I got on the train, got on the train from the club in full geeshe and I had my satchel and I fell asleep on the train. Just so you know, when you're on the train at that time in the morning, it's maybe you and one other drunk guy sitting in the corner and you're on opposite ends. Cause you don't want him to wake up out of his sleep and try to fucking stab you or some shit. So on the train dozed off a little bit and then it was. First of all, have you ever been on a train and just your body just wakes up when it's close to your Stop. Yep.

[C]

Yeah. Your body's like, it's time. It's time to wake up, girl. Broken up.

[D]

That is the weirdest thing. Even though there's delays and delays and delays. When you talk to your brain, your body's like, here we are.

[C]

But also trained sleep is the worst sleep.

[D]

It's the best sleep.

[C]

No, you wake up in a panic every time. No, you're like, oh, this is my stop. This is my stop. It's my stop.

[E]

It's my stop.

[C]

No, it's not my stop.

[D]

That's that you're not a real New Yorker.

[C]

Stop. It's my stop. It's not my stop. It's not my stop. It's not my stop. It's not my stop. It's not my stop.

[D]

And so I got. And I woke up. And then as I woke up, this guy was standing in front of me, and I'm like. So I'm like, looking up and, like, what's going on? And he's like, what's in your bag?

[C]

He was standing. Like, he was obsessed. What he stand? He was standing. We stand as sleepy queen.

[D]

That's not even funny.

[C]

Anyway, he was cut to Mitch laughing.

[D]

He was standing in front of me. And then he was like, what's in your bag? I was like, nothing. And he's like, how old were you? I was starting with saliva. So I was maybe like, 21, 22. And he was like, I want to see your back. Like, nothing. He's like, you sure? I was like, so fully in my head, in my back, I had my laptop. Cause my phone broke, so I was using. I had to give Thorgy my laptop

[C]

to put my laptop. That is some crunchy. What y' all don't realize? Saliva, too, is the part where you show up and you would give them your ipod. Yeah, everyone would, like, hand the DJ an iPod. Monet walks up with a 1999 MacBook desktop. Let me plug in my CPU. I had to.

[D]

That's how I had to play my music. Which I had no money, so I was like, we gonna use my computer today? I had my computer in there. I had my wallet. I had all that stuff. And I was like, I have nothing. He's like. He's like, where you coming from? And I was just giving me a full interview, mind you.

[C]

Was it YouTube by yourself?

[D]

It was just us by ourselves.

[C]

Could you have taken him?

[D]

He was taller than me. But if I had to, I would have fought. But I was like, I don't want to fight for no reason, you know? See what I'm saying?

[C]

It wasn't fighting. I was one time I was leaving, fucking this area, and then this cab driver, I upset him because he was arguing with my cab driver. And I said to my cab driver, do not argue with her. And then he didn't like being called to her. So then he looked at me and goes, you want to fight? And I said, like. And I said, physically fight you. And he was like, yeah, you want to fight? I said, that would ruin my day. That would ruin my month. If I got out of this cab and got into a physical, even though I'm pretty sure I could take you, that would ruin my whole month getting into a fistfight with you. So, no, I don't want to fight you.

[D]

So ask another question. And he's like, let me see what's in your bag. So I just reached in, and I just pulled out my debit card, and I just.

[C]

He was like,

[D]

oh, my God.

[C]

Got one of these. And you're like, oh. Oh, I forgot this.

[D]

So he had a hoodie on, and he had his hands in his hoodie. I know he probably didn't, but he had some type of weapon. So I had to reach in my bag, and I had it in my debit card. And I was like, this is all I have. And he took it. And then as soon as I got off the train, I just called Chase and canceled it.

[A]

So.

[D]

But that was a scary moment. I was like, what if he has a gun? He's like, shoots me in this train car. I'm like, I've heard crazier stories. In New York City, I would just

[C]

be like, my brother. That's gotta be something better. Like, it's just. It ain't worth. It's not worth it to shoot me on this train. You're not gonna make it far. You're shooting on a train. Like, you're not gonna make it far at Merrimack. Yeah, you know what I mean.

[B]

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[D]

What is one of your greatest fears?

[C]

Oh, my biggest fear is dying alone.

[D]

Really?

[C]

I tell people I do not like the idea I'm gonna die in my apartment. No one's gonna find me for a month. There's gonna be a smell.

[D]

That's a very New York City thing.

[C]

I feel like that's. Oh, I wrote this down. By the way, did you hear about the way he said, I'm not a New Yorker? You know about the way they say are the four ways to be a New Yorker? They said, tell me if you agree with this. You have to be born here, you have to be mugged, you have to live here for 10 years, but you have to get hit by a cab.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

And if one of those four things happens, you are a New Yorker. So I am a New Yorker, which.

[D]

Oh, you live for 10 years.

[C]

For 10 years. And apparently, if you get hit by a Cab on your 10 year anniversary, you're the mayor.

[D]

Is that how de Blasio got his ass there?

[C]

Girl.

[E]

Trash.

[C]

Oh, read de Blasio. By the way, the political campaigns right now are getting ridiculous. The campaign I was watching today was like, why is de Blasio the worst? And one of the things, like, de Blasio can't even handle six inches of snow. This is a real campaign. Oh, girl.

[D]

That. The first snowfall of this. Of the 2018, 2019 winter, I mean, the city was basically shut down.

[C]

But I was just gagged at this campaign. It was like, why is de Blasio the worst? De Blasio can't even handle six inches of snow.

[D]

They were like six inches of snow.

[C]

Of snow.

[D]

One of my greatest fears. I used to be afraid of heights, but I don't think I am anymore.

[C]

You got your voice pretty high.

[D]

I don't think I usually. I'm not afraid of heights anymore. I don't know what my greatest fear is. I'm not afraid of dying alone. I actually. I like being alone.

[C]

Do you think you want to die alone?

[D]

I don't. I don't want to die alone. But you. But you don't like being alone, period.

[C]

I'm not crazy about me.

[D]

You always have people around you.

[C]

Yeah, but I think people just like being around me.

[D]

I don't think that's true.

[C]

Well, I'm not forcing. There's a saying in my friend group that is very famous words for me, which is, you are not a prisoner in my home. Like, you don't have to be around me. No one ever has to be. It is very famous. You are not a prisoner in my company. Take your ass home. Bye, Mary.

[D]

So, yeah, I don't think I have a greatest. Obviously, everyone has a big fear. I don't know what mine is anymore.

[C]

Can I throw bugs on you?

[D]

I'm not afraid of bugs.

[C]

Would you let a roach crawl in your mouth?

[D]

No. Okay. That's not.

[C]

That's just gross. I'm just asking. Would you let a rose crawl in your mouth?

[D]

No, but not because I'm scared. I'm afraid of roaches. It's just gross.

[C]

But I could cover you. Would you be covered in roaches for a five minutes?

[D]

I always said I would have loved to do, like, a Fair Factor challenge on Drag Race where we had to eat shit or do a bug thing. Did you watch Faer Factor back in the day?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

I would love a Drag Race challenge like that. That would be so. It's so different. It'll be fierce. You hate bugs. We did a podcast, Bitch. Literally the tiniest spider that was there.

[C]

You were not there.

[D]

You described it to me.

[C]

I said it was the size of a nickel. That is tiny. That's a big spider bug. A nickel, Bob.

[D]

That's.

[C]

Yeah, five Cent. That is.

[D]

That is very tiny.

[C]

What? Maybe you grew up with roaches and spiders and you were like, oh, country bitch. I did not grow in the country. I grew up in cities. I grew up in Columbus, Georgia, and Atlanta, Georgia, but also Corinth, Mississippi, and Phoenix City and Alabama.

[D]

Thank you. Which is the country.

[C]

And La Grange, Georgia, which is kind of the country. But yeah. I mean, you would do a photo shoot where you were covered in roaches.

[D]

I think it would be fucking. Yes. It'll be dope. It'll be fierce.

[C]

Ah.

[E]

Ah.

[C]

You wouldn't do it like Madagascar hissing cockroaches. Those are the ones they always have on Fear Factory.

[D]

Yeah. Or in Top Model. Remember when it went into post when

[C]

they stoned the roaches, which seemed extra. Tyra Banks, you stonin roaches. Mama, we out here stone those roaches. We out here stoning roaches. Mama, we out here stonin roaches. What's poppin?

[D]

That was everything. What can I tell you? One of my favorite scary Movies is the Strangers.

[C]

No, it's not a good movie because.

[D]

Excuse me.

[C]

No, I'm not gonna finish. Bitch.

[D]

The Stranger is one of the greatest scary movies ever. Not the new one, the original one. The Strangers.

[C]

I almost saw the new one, the one with.

[D]

What's her name? Liz. What's the name?

[C]

Taylor.

[D]

Not. Not Liz. Is it Liz Claiborne?

[C]

Taylor.

[D]

Liz Tyler.

[C]

Elizabeth Taylor.

[D]

Elizabeth Tyler. Liv Tyler.

[C]

Liv. Oh, Steven Tyler's daughter.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Restaurant. Speaking of spooky, I used to work at a haunted restaurant where I was a butler.

[D]

Well, that is shady and racist.

[C]

Oh, I don't think it was. I don't think there's also. There's nothing wrong with the profession of butler.

[D]

There's nothing.

[C]

Shout out the movie the Butler. Shout out Forest Whitaker. Shout out Oprah.

[D]

Oprah listens to SWAT guy.

[C]

Oprah's a huge fan.

[D]

Oh, she's.

[C]

That's not a fat joke.

[D]

Yeah,

[C]

But Liv Tyler used to come into with her son who was obsessed with, like, macabre and, like, spooky and scary stuff. But the reason why I don't like that movie is because they're killing or fighting, hurting for no reason. Spoiler alert. I'm gonna give you three seconds. Thank you.

[D]

Fast forward.

[C]

The reason why it is annoying is cause when in the MA asks, why are you doing this? They go, cause you're home.

[D]

Here's the thing. That's why it's scary. Cause that is such a real thing. Bob, you never. First of all, are you people. That is people, like sociopaths kill people just to kill people.

[C]

Okay. I also want to put out there, there is a stigma against people with disorders like sociopaths and psychopaths. Not all sociopaths are dangerous. I'm not saying that most sociopaths aren't dangerous.

[D]

I didn't say that.

[C]

But people are mean to. Like people are mean about. Like you're a sociopath or whatever. But if you are a sociopath, it is a mental disorder. You're making fun of someone. But people think it's okay to be mean to sociopaths.

[D]

No, no, no. I'm just talking about. Cause I put you on the View lately.

[C]

There is a stigma out there against sociopaths.

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

Very that.

[C]

And it's like girl. It's like girl. That's how they were born. They can't help it. They're just sociopaths.

[D]

Now they're saying that Jessie Smollett might be a sociopath.

[C]

She's a lot of stuff. And can you please stop acting like he's French. He's not from Paris.

[D]

Smollier. Yes, it is.

[C]

I don't think he is.

[D]

He's not from Paris. But that is the root of that.

[C]

That is where the. That's where the.

[D]

But he.

[C]

I don't think he says Smollier. Yes, he does.

[D]

How you know.

[B]

You don't know him.

[C]

You don't know him either. Apparently, no one knows him. Can you look up how Jesse. We looking up how Jesse? I say it's Smollett.

[D]

It's Smull. Yeah.

[C]

By the way, it's Jussie. Isn't even a name.

[E]

You are.

[C]

You cannot.

[D]

You are destroying this man's name. You can't tell him how he thinks.

[C]

I think Jussie destroyed a lot more than his name. He's the one who destroyed his name.

[D]

Have you ever heard of that? That. That. That girl. Her name is Ladasha. And I spelled L, E. Dash.

[C]

I heard about it, but I ain't never seen this hoe. She'd be famous by now. All right, Jussie Smollett.

[D]

Smoye.

[C]

Don't worry, it's coming.

[B]

Chessy Smollett.

[D]

Okay. This bitch on YouTube, that's how you pronounce it. Who knows the.

[C]

But if she would have said it your way, you'd have been like, that's it.

[D]

No, I wouldn't have. But you just. You literally just clicked on some bitch on YouTube.

[C]

Also, find somebody. Find somebody talking about just his name.

[D]

Oh, not. How about his family or him.

[C]

His name is not Smolly.

[D]

Yes, it is.

[C]

What is that based off of? That is.

[D]

That's how you pronounce it.

[C]

But if that man say, my name is Jussie Smollett, his name is just.

[D]

If he says that, then I'll go for it.

[C]

Sat down with me for his first Smollett.

[D]

She. People say shit wrong.

[C]

I could get a thousand people said, get him. He will still be like, no, get him.

[D]

Or one of his family members.

[C]

Robbie. What's her name? Robinson.

[D]

What's her name?

[C]

What's her name? Rob.

[D]

Robbie Turner. Robin Roberts. Was it Robin Roberts?

[C]

You don't think Robin Roberts did her research to find out how Jussie Smollett.

[D]

Okay, first of all, do you watch Good Morning America?

[C]

No.

[D]

This bitch Butcher is the abc.

[C]

So you think that she's a bitch.

[D]

Oh, my God. Anyway, wait.

[C]

Can we agree that his name is probably pronounced Smollett?

[D]

No, I say Smoye.

[C]

Monet. How many people do I have to get to say Smollett before you say a Smollett?

[E]

But also you're saying sommelier, and it's Sommelier. That's a different word.

[D]

S, M, L, L. First of all, when you have two Ls together, honey, it goes.

[C]

Yeah, in French. We are in French.

[D]

Well, that is a French name.

[C]

He is from Chicago.

[D]

That is a French name.

[C]

Just Smollett is from Chicago.

[D]

But what the name probably comes from is that he was owned by French. By his family owned by French.

[C]

You trying to make him subject to his French slave owners?

[D]

He wants to use that pronunciation. That's his prerogative. That's not for you to decide.

[C]

He's not using that.

[D]

How do you know that?

[C]

Monet, if his name was pronounced Jesse Smollier, okay? Not Smolly Smollier, if that's how his name was pronounced. I think Ms. Robinson would have pronounced it that way.

[D]

Ms. Roberts, you just. You making up shit for her, too.

[C]

We have to move on. Cause you're being ridiculous. His name is not Smoye.

[D]

Anyway, so. Saturn is my favorite scary movie.

[C]

Jose Smoye. My favorite movie is Scary Movie. My favorite scary movie is. What's the one where. The Clap Game.

[D]

The Quiet place.

[C]

The Conjuring.

[D]

I've never seen the Conjuring.

[C]

Ooh, Mary. The Conjuring is the only scary conjuring. 1. Don't fuck with conjuring. 2, she. I. But she ain't all that. The conjuring one is one of the best films of all time. It is. It is truly scary and it shakes you up.

[D]

I've never seen it.

[C]

The story is this. This. This family moves into this house. The house is haunted. They bring in these people who are not poltergeist exorcists or not exorcist ghost hunters. Basically, they bring these ghost hunters, and the ghost hunters are trying to find the ghost in the house. And it is. Oh, man, it fucked me up. Can I tell you one of the. One of the movies, the highest turnover. Can you Google the

[D]

highest grossing?

[C]

No, the. What was that movie? Paranormal Activity.

[D]

Oh, that was a good movie.

[C]

The first one was Google the budget and Google how much they made.

[D]

Oh, $10.

[C]

What do you think? Just. I know. I think. I know.

[D]

I think that.

[C]

Let's find out how much money.

[D]

Maybe the budget's maybe like a million bucks. But I'm sure they. The paranormal. Paranormal TV was a viral success.

[C]

You think it was. Now, I'm gonna tell you right now, if you think it was a million bucks, you're about to fuck $11,000.

[D]

And how much did they make?

[C]

They filmed that shit on GoPros and fucking. You remember the flip camera back in the day?

[D]

That's dope.

[C]

And it made millions.

[D]

Well, because it was a viral movie.

[C]

I'm. It's. It was. That is like $890 million. Holy

[E]

shit.

[C]

Now, by the way, that $11,000 includes advertising.

[E]

Word.

[C]

Because the budget, the biggest chunk of budget is often advertising and talent. People don't realize that it's a huge part in these big, big Hollywood films.

[D]

Because if you want $11,890 million, that's fierce.

[C]

Can you imagine?

[D]

Can we make a movie?

[C]

I mean, I want to bitch.

[D]

That movie caused less than my music video.

[C]

Me too, bitch. Yet another dig. I'm not afraid to say. Is it shady to say how much

[D]

you pay for your dude, I think it's shitty. You shouldn't. Because other girls I don't think you

[C]

should say was more than $11,000. Say their names. I mean, you also fully just said that it cost that year, but we

[D]

didn't say the exact number.

[C]

Yeah, it's somewhere between $11,000 and $1,000,000 is what, you know, the video called. And I just also. Can we have a brief discussion? Even though it's not about fear and we are about to get into our segue, I think it's very shady. A lot of people have been wanting to have their music videos done by these very popular people who do music videos, but they don't want to pay their directors what they consider a fair rate, which is actually equal to or less than what some of these girls get paid to do one gig y and then the director has to work on your video for a month solid. Like a solid month of work. They have to produce it this, that, the other, edit it. When you go and skip around and do your gigs, they're back there editing, calling up the editor, doing all this shit, and they're like, I'm not paying them that much money. Like, girl, you need to pay these people to work for you. That shit drives me crazy. And people try to not pay those girls.

[D]

Say their names.

[C]

Say, that's too shading. Don't say it. Some of them are your friends, Mary. Let them know. But I'm not.

[D]

Bob is pussy as hell. He don't want to say that.

[C]

It's on the chair. The button's on the chair.

[D]

Oh, I was on the arm.

[C]

The reason why Eureka. The reason why I think you found it. The reason why I think it's shady to say the name is because it's not my drama. It's their drama. And this director, whatever director they have, but they do it to designers, too, because designers are like, well, this is what it costs to the fabric. But then also, this is what it costs to make it. But also, I'm charging you to design it.

[D]

The designer one is a little tricky for me because I personally worked with people before Drag Race, and it was one thing. And then when I went after Drag Race through the same thing, it just became.

[C]

But that's not the problem. What about people that work with you before Drag Race? What about people that work with you before Drag Race?

[D]

But that's different.

[C]

But then it's a whole different thing because you're worth more. Now. We'll go back to.

[D]

We'll talk about that on a later podcast.

[C]

Yeah, but with the directors, I think that people need to be paid, especially as we get more popular. These directors are also getting more popular, so their rates go up with our rates. You have to pay people to work with you or people not gonna wanna work with you, I hear. So you know who you are and don't do that.

[D]

Well, you're assuming that these bitches got cable. You know, if they paint the records from cable. Yes. Public Access Girl.

[C]

Yeah, we on hgtv.

[D]

One of the biggest. Well, I don't know how I grew up. Can we check how much Bird Box made? But Bird Box was a viral scary movie.

[C]

Okay. Okay. I had to. There was a.

[E]

It's on Netflix. They don't release their numbers.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Netflix?

[D]

Really?

[C]

Oh, you didn't know this? Oh, you don't know this? Oh, she doesn't know the words.

[D]

Netflix doesn't release their numbers.

[C]

Listen, they do. They keep their numbers so that you cannot negotiate a better price on the next season of your show. They did this shit to the girls of Orange is the New Black. The girls, like, they're like, we think our show's popular and they feel like we assume we're here. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. They don't release their numbers to anyone. It's secret, lock and key. You will probably find out who won the Oscars before you find out what the numbers are. And I think I'm assuming it is so that the people who are on the shows cannot negotiate high rate.

[D]

Right.

[C]

I mean, so they have to just base off.

[D]

You cannot deny that by season one and two, Orange Isn't you. Black was probably Netflix's most successful show.

[C]

Yeah, but they're probably hiding how successful it is, so you can't use that as leverage. Isn't that shady?

[D]

That's so shady.

[C]

Unless Netflix wants me, then. I Love Netflix. Fuck YouTube. I love Netflix.

[D]

Don't say, Fuck YouTube. YouTube's a very nice guy.

[C]

I'm joking. I love YouTube.

[D]

Just so that was Bob saying that I love you guys.

[C]

That was Monet. My name is Macaroni Xcheeze.

[D]

Speaking of bird box, we did a bird box makeup challenge.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

That was very interesting.

[C]

So to describe this, what Monet and I did was we had two of our dear friends, Pixie Aventura. Pixie Aventura and Marty Gold Cummings, who are two New York City nightlife legends. Okay, well, not legends, but they're nightlife stars.

[D]

Yeah, stars.

[C]

They're nightlife stars. They're stars.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

Wow. Ready to take away their status. Monet. So quickly. Pixie Aventura, who is a multiple award winning artist, and Marty Gold Cummings, who is the current entertainer of the year in New York City. They came in, we blindfolded ourselves, and then we tried to do their makeup.

[D]

Their makeup. And yeah, it was.

[C]

Y' all about to find out that we picked two of the drag queens with the strongest personalities and the world probably. I mean, who has a stronger personality than fucking Pixie and fucking Marty, who is Marty, who's literally nervous about everything, and Pixie, who is jealous of the sun for not being the wind.

[D]

Marty is so extra. Dude. That fucking jealous.

[C]

One time we were doing the show the Help, and this guy came in. Like, me and Pixie were both on stage performing, and this guy came and tipped me, and he didn't tip Pixie and girl.

[D]

World War Z.

[C]

Girl.

[D]

Girl.

[C]

So if you guys want to watch our bird box makeup challenge, click the link below.

[D]

The link below.

[C]

Hey, sorry to interrupt the podcast, guys. Monet, I have an idea.

[D]

What?

[C]

I feel like you and I should become patreons of sibling rivalry.

[D]

I think so too.

[C]

Yeah. I heard that you get exclusive content online. Really? Yeah. And you also get the visual podcast five days before they get it on YouTube. Isn't that crazy?

[B]

No.

[C]

And you also get special gifts at the live shows, which we do once a month in New York City.

[D]

Ooh, I like free shit.

[C]

Isn't that wild?

[D]

Yes, it is.

[C]

So I'm gonna go do. Okay, I'm gonna walk away.

[D]

Oh, my God, you're so heavy.

[C]

I'm gonna open the door.

[D]

Slam the door.

[C]

All right, back to the podcast. It's in the description now.

[D]

Oftentimes people say that fear is healthy. I do think fear is healthy. But just like anything in excess, too much fear is not good for you.

[C]

Do you know. Can you look this up?

[D]

Like, Marty's someone who. I feel like Marty.

[C]

Oh, Marty's afraid.

[D]

He operates in fear.

[C]

Marty's afraid of tomorrow because it's not today. Like, he's afraid of everything. Can you look up this. There's a fear. There's a fear of holes. Can you look this up?

[D]

Okay. There's a phobia for everything under this.

[C]

No, but it's a fear of, like. So there's this thing where people see a bunch of holes and it makes them uncomfortable.

[D]

Yeah. Cause it looks like sores.

[C]

No, it's because that is the way a lot of poisonous. It's trypophobia.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's because a lot of stuff that's poisonous looks like that. So our brains are wired to be weary of things that. Can you look up trypophobia.

[D]

Is that why. Look, it's right there.

[C]

Trypophobia means having a hand, but it's you. And it's also like. Like frogs. No. Type of. No go to images. There's like frogs and certain plants that look like that are poisonous to us. So our brains train us to be afraid of them. Isn't that wild?

[D]

But for everyone.

[C]

I mean, in most people. Look at this, like, make one of those big. Like. People find this kind of stuff unsettling. And it actually makes some people's skin crawl. And it's because their brain is triggering them to be afraid of that.

[E]

It's terrifying.

[C]

I went through a phase where I was obsessed with phobias. And I learned the names of like over a hundred phobias. I don't remember them all now.

[D]

I was gonna say something shady, but I was gonna. I'm not gonna say it.

[C]

What?

[E]

Nothing.

[C]

Say, oh, but yeah, I mean. So there was a point where I could name.

[D]

It's kinda hot.

[C]

Like, name a phobia and I'll name a thing.

[D]

I want a dick like that.

[C]

Name a thing and I'll see if I can name the phoenix. Arachnophobia. I used to know.

[D]

I can say the ones I know, like spiders.

[C]

That's arachnophobia.

[D]

Right. Hype.

[C]

Agoraphobia.

[D]

Oh, black people

[C]

make America great again.

[D]

Phobia. Okay, really quick.

[C]

Anyway. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns.

[D]

Okay. Which you love.

[C]

The fear of trees. I don't know that. Hippopotam. Monstrosecopedia is the fear of Longworth words.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. And it's literally hippopotam.

[D]

Monstrous.

[C]

Escopedalophobia.

[D]

Look at you. You always know random things that no

[C]

one ever needs to. Random as hell. What were you about to say?

[D]

I forgot.

[C]

All right. Thank you for joining us.

[D]

Well, do you think that fear is healthy?

[C]

Yes. So what I was saying was these little. Fear of circles is to keep you healthy. Is to keep you from things. Fear of fire is to keep you from burning yourself. Fear of heights is to keep you from falling to your death. Fear of clowns is to keep you from laughing.

[D]

I think we're thinking in, like, a bigger way. Like, I mean, like I told you to.

[C]

See, I said, Monat, please put your phone on silent.

[D]

Also, these are bill collectors. They literally call me daily.

[C]

Pay your bills. You just won $100,000.

[D]

It's like, bitch, you got $175,000 for.

[C]

And Bill collectors are not calling me for Sallie Mae. And they're not calling me. Bill collectors aren't calling me. And I paid off my student loans.

[D]

Well, when at $3, that's easy. I have literally hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[C]

Did nobody tell you to go to an Ivy League school for music? That was a bad idea to begin with. Excuse me. If you're watching at home or listening a degree in the arts that's not even worth the paper it's written on. And I'm gonna tell you what.

[D]

That is not true. That is not true. That's a. Fuck off. A different episode.

[E]

100.

[C]

100.

[D]

That is not true. Don't believe this, bitch. That is not true.

[C]

100.

[D]

Anyway, I think we're thinking like, a bigger, more extrinsic way. Like, in terms of, like, does fear help you grow and stuff like that. Not like, literally, like, what is preventing you from doing.

[C]

You know, the number one fear in the world is public speaking.

[D]

Is it?

[C]

That's the number one fear in the world.

[D]

See what I'm saying? So if you're afraid of public speaking, then you don't do it. Then that's not helping you learn how to do it.

[C]

But it could be a way of preventing yourself from embarrassing yourself in front of people in a social situation. So I think it is actually fear is a way of preventing yourself from harm.

[D]

But fear can also prevent you from growing at you.

[C]

Agreed.

[D]

If you're afraid of public speaking and you never do it, then you never overcome that fear.

[C]

Or maybe you just never speak in public. And it's not.

[D]

And it doesn't matter if you're afraid of public speaking.

[C]

You can. It's the number one fear in the world.

[D]

You can.

[C]

And people do it all the Time,

[D]

I say, but it's not. But as it pertains to health, that's not healthy.

[C]

I don't think a fear of public speaking is. If you are a politician, the fear of public speaking is probably really bad for you. But I don't think that a fear of public speaking and you just, and you work an accountant, if you're dead from accounting, why do you ever need to speak in a public.

[D]

This is true. But again, we're in professions where we have to public speak all the time.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, and people, were you

[D]

ever afraid of hosting and shit?

[C]

No, I have loved. Let me tell you right now, there is nothing I love more than attention. Standing in front of people, people listening to me, people hearing me talk, everyone look at me. Look, look, look. Hey, look, look. Are you looking? Look like. I love people paying attention to me.

[D]

Were you ever bad at hosting a public speaker?

[B]

No.

[C]

I mean, I've had nights where like. What do you mean?

[D]

What do you like at the start of your career?

[C]

I told you, you guys can Google my very ever first stand up comedy performance. I see it, it's funny.

[D]

It's funny. But okay, that's the first one. But you all know sometimes performing goes like this. Like you started really good, then maybe the next two nights you were at Barracuda it wasn't so you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Are you asking me if I've ever, if I've ever not done well? If I've been afraid? I've never been afraid of it.

[D]

Just because you started off really good. I'm saying, so every time you post, public spoke or hosted after that, it was at that level.

[C]

You're asking me the question. Are you asking was I afraid or have I ever done worse things?

[D]

I changed the question. I was like, were you always good at hosting and public speaking? Is what I was saying.

[C]

I've always been good at it. I've had nights where I wasn't as great as I was. Other times no one's literally better. Every single time they go on stage. I am literally no, literally no. Ditto, bitch lit. And I'm saying that's not true. But I've always been good at, I've always been funny. I've always been good at getting a crowd to kind of do what I want them to do or kind of. I mean, honestly, hosting a show is really about manipulating the audience into clapping when you want them to clap, sighing when you want them to sigh, cheering when you want them to cheer. It's about tricking them into wanting a little bit more than you're giving them. You don't do the whole thing. Cause you want them to want more.

[D]

Fair enough.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

So I've always. And I'm also. So basically, I've always been good at manipulating people. Even at a very young age. I used to, like, manipulate my family into allowing, like, me and my mom would sit down and I would have these like, full on. Like, I would take like the sheets that you do like this. And I would do this whole, like, presentation on why we should be allowed to have an extra 30 minutes of before bedtime. And it was like this whole thing. And my friends know that I love.

[D]

So you've always been extra.

[C]

Always and forever, Alyssa. Extra. No, it didn't work, but I tried. Cause I'm not afraid to try things.

[D]

Well, guys, I've said this already, so you so. Well, what I was trying to say is that by overcoming, the only way to get better at your fears is. I mean, the only way to overcome your fears is to try, like, if you're afraid of heights, bitch, you need to go to go jump out a plane or something.

[C]

Not literally, but why do you need to overcome a fear of heights? Like, what do you need to overcome? Agoraphobia?

[D]

Because you never know. Let's say, Bob, you're in a situation where you have to. Where you are challenged with heights and you're. You know what I'm saying? Like, you never know what the world is gonna be.

[C]

Okay. Because you never know is not a good reason to do something.

[D]

I think so.

[C]

Then you'd literally be doing everything. You need to learn to cook. Because you never know. You need to save money. You never know. You need to open life. Cause you never know. Yes, you need to learn to sing. Because you never know. You gotta learn. So I'm saying because you never know is not a good reason, but certain.

[D]

Okay, you don't need to comment every fear that you have. Every single fear. But I think that overcoming fears is important for self growth and being a better human being for yourself.

[C]

If the fear is impairing your social life, then you need to overcome it.

[D]

Not just your social life, your life, period.

[C]

Your life. If this fear is impairing your life, you need to overcome it. But I don't see how a fear of heights can.

[D]

Okay, not literally. I literally just said not every single fear.

[C]

Just all I did was took the one you said heights.

[D]

And then I said that. I didn't mean like every single fear. I mean like.

[C]

Like I said if deb from accounting is afraid of public speaking. She doesn't really need to overcome that unless she needs to public speak for somebody.

[D]

But if Deb. If Deb from over accounting, over accounting. If Deb from over shit. If Dare from accounting, someone's not afraid

[C]

of speaking publicly here.

[D]

You know, I had a really bad speech impediment as a kid.

[C]

I believe it.

[D]

You said, still, I was really bad. And my mom used to make sit at the dining room table when I was a kid and read books to her. Like, what books did you read? I mean, everything I had. The one that I remember is Hitler's book. Oh, that I hated.

[C]

I just imagine that my mom was like, read this, Kevon. Read this book.

[D]

I had to read the Bluest Eye to her. I had to read that literally like eight times to her.

[C]

I had a speech penny when I was a kid too.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, I went to speech classes.

[D]

Did you really?

[C]

Yes, I took speech for three years.

[D]

My mom took it upon herself too. I mean, but it was, like, bad. I would be like, kids used to make fun of me so hard in school. And so she made me. I had to read to her every night at the table until it started to go away. And I learned it from my cousins. My cousins had really bad speech impediments. And because we used to hang out all the time, we used to play video games together literally every weekend. That's where I picked it up from.

[C]

What I did was, I think up until third grade, from kindergarten, from kindergarten until third grade, I had to go to speech class, which was basically kindergarten through third grade.

[D]

That's really young.

[C]

That's four years. Yeah, it was me and a bunch of kids who were esl and a couple of kids who stutter, and a couple of kids with, like, lisp, like, just sitting in a room, like, repeating what the teacher said to us, like, over and over. My issue was that I mumbled and I talked way too fast, which I still do. But I mean, I'm obviously intelligible because, I mean, I have a career. People aren't in the audience going, what?

[D]

You don't see it? We put subtitles when you're on tv.

[C]

And what about in real life? Are you in front of the stage

[D]

holding, Well, I have my Google Glass on, so I can. It's literally transiting.

[C]

You remember when Google tried to make Google Glass a thing?

[D]

Oh, crunchy ass.

[C]

And whenever you see someone wearing Google Glass, you're like, do you feel like you look stupid? Cause you look stupid.

[E]

Also, YouTube is owned by Google So

[C]

maybe I don't care. Google Glass is crunchy. And they knew it. That's why you don't see them on shelves anymore.

[D]

Yeah, it was a bad.

[C]

And then people would wear it and be like, okay, Google Glass. And I was like, oh my God.

[D]

Well, now apparently, you know, they have like one coming out in like a contact version. Like a contact.

[C]

Put that shit in your eye. If you want to put a Google,

[D]

it's gonna be like them damn Sangsung Galaxy doesn't explode in your eye, girl. Could you imagine you put a Google

[C]

Contact in your eye if you want to. Miss Mary.

[D]

Oh, did you hear about this, Patty? Traveling folk. Do you know the screens in the back of on the Delta? Delta America, whatever.

[C]

Don't say it.

[D]

They have little cameras on them.

[E]

Don't send it to me.

[D]

They have little cameras in it. There was a whole article about it. I was like, there was a whole article about it, girl. Let me just look it up.

[E]

Who wrote the article?

[C]

Craig. Craig the conspiracy theorist.

[D]

No, it was like New York Times or somebody put it out. It came up on my face. I was like, the little button at the bottom of the screen, that is a camera in there.

[C]

You know, speaking of fear, you know, Facebook had this new thing. It was a crazy thing where they would listen to you when you post statues.

[D]

Yep. United Delta. Uh huh.

[C]

But what is this website?

[E]

Buzzfeed.

[C]

Okay. And confirmed that their premium economy screens have cameras. So only in the.

[D]

No, all of them.

[C]

Is that premium economy.

[D]

Well, in the new ones. The new ones that have like the black.

[C]

So if you're in like Delta 1 or the best that lay down, they

[D]

have cameras even in. Sometimes in the regular seats.

[C]

Well, this says premium economy. I'm just going off what buzzfeed, which is a pretty reliable source.

[D]

Right.

[C]

But unless you're Trump. Trump doesn't trust buzzfeed. Cause they expose her.

[D]

Expose her.

[C]

Expose her. I would say, you know Facebook, the thing where you would type in a status and then they would listen to your home to see if you were playing. They said it was to see if you were playing music. And then it would just put in the background like Patty was listening to Bust Down Fatiana.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, it was like a whole thing.

[D]

How can they access your microphone from your computer like that?

[C]

Because when you. Every time they update, you be clicking. Okay. Without scrolling. They slip shit like that in there when you just be clicking. Sure, why not?

[D]

Who's gonna read all that? Do you read all of it?

[C]

No, I don't read it, but someone out there obviously did. Cause they caught them. They were like, how do you know? I was listening to Tatiana.

[D]

Well, how you do that thing where you like, go look up red skirts on Amazon, bitch, for the next three days, your Facebook is littered with red skirts.

[C]

Well, that's the third. So the reason why Facebook doesn't have to charge you is because they're selling your information, how old you are. But I mean, you can go in there and turn all that stuff off, but it's so to do. People don't do it. That's why. Yeah, red skirt shows up in Facebook, then on Instagram, then on Twitter, red skirts. Start walking by on the street, someone in a red skirt knocks in your door. Hey, I heard you like red skirts.

[D]

Like shit, they be motherfucking Jehovah's in this. We heard you want some red skirts.

[C]

Have we talked about the gospel of red skirts?

[D]

Yeah, that honestly is a big fan of mine technology. Because, I mean, I feel like one day we are going to be in very Terminator of the realness.

[C]

RoboCop gonna come get you.

[D]

RoboCop is not Terminator.

[C]

Nah, I switched to things. Also. RoboCop was a human being who was

[D]

turned into because of an accident.

[C]

Cause he got shot to death. Did you ever see him again in robocop?

[D]

Of course.

[C]

The way they shot him up, you can't survive that. It was like a. It was like. He was like. He was Swiss cheese. I was like, you can't come back from that. Y' all are too. You should have just done one shot. That would have been enough.

[D]

It used to play on. Did you watch the USA Network as a kid?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Do you remember the Mortal Kombat cartoon that came on the USA Network?

[C]

No, but I watched Mortal Kombat movies. I loved that.

[D]

There was a Mortal Kombat cartoon. Does anyone in here know that?

[C]

No.

[D]

Oh, my God. Vince, can you look up real quick? This is from my. It was a Mortal Kombat character cartoon and it had Raiden, Shang Tsung, Sonya Blade, Johnny Cage, Liz Kang.

[C]

I won't say who, because I think it's shady to say who. But someone we know is so afraid of blood and the mentioning of blood that he will just faint if you say it. Cause I feel like if I say it, then there's also a drag race girl. I won't say who. Who is afraid of like loud noises. Like, not just like a little bit.

[D]

Do I know her?

[C]

Yes, you do it. She's. She's. Yeah, but she's so. Because that was you Been a real pussy today. No, that's not. Because the fans will start her. I'm not into exploiting people's.

[D]

I am.

[C]

Fears.

[D]

I'm kidding.

[C]

So I don't want to tell. But people will start doing. I know how fans are, and I don't want to say who is afraid of. But, like, if you say blood. If you mention blood. Talking, drawing blood.

[D]

I know why I didn't have this experience.

[C]

He'll just fall over and just be. And just can't even, like, work. That's.

[D]

I know.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

I mean, that's. It's a chemical.

[C]

I mean, it's. Obviously. I'm just saying. I couldn't imagine living that way.

[E]

So the name of the movie you're talking about, is it Defenders of the Realm? Is that what you're.

[C]

Mortal Kombat. Defenders of the Realm.

[D]

Yeah, it's a cartoon.

[C]

Who's your favorite Mortal Kombat character?

[E]

I don't know.

[D]

That's a hard question. I love all of them, so. I used to love Scorpion.

[C]

Raiden.

[D]

Raiden.

[C]

Raiden all the way. Every time. Didn't the guy who played Raiden kill himself in the movie?

[D]

He killed himself. I think he killed himself in Annihilation.

[C]

Auto Asphyxiation. I'm not kidding. The guy who played Raven in the first Raiden. In the first movie.

[D]

Oh, I thought you meant like in the.

[C]

No, the guy from the first Mortal Kombat movie killed himself through auto asphyxiation.

[D]

Oh, I thought you were saying Raiden in the movie. I'm like, no, he did not.

[C]

Yeah, the character rating. No, but I was also. This is. Do you have a fear of losing?

[A]

No.

[D]

You do.

[C]

I don't have a fear of losing. I arm wrestled a guy today who I was pretty sure would beat me. I arm wrestled, Larry. I don't have a fear of losing. Just because I win frequently doesn't mean I'm okay.

[D]

You don't win frequently, Honey.

[C]

More frequently than you do.

[D]

I just won something.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

We're tied one to one.

[C]

We're not tied.

[D]

We are one. You won Drag Race once. I won Drag Race once.

[C]

We discussed. Monet, you said you didn't wanna talk about the same.

[D]

I'm the same.

[C]

But you didn't win Drag Race. You won All Stars.

[D]

All right, moving on.

[C]

Exactly. Don't bring it up if you don't want to talk about it. Mary Mack.

[D]

Ms. Mary Mack.

[C]

But what I was saying. What was I just saying about. I don't remember before Monet rudely. Oh, me And Jiggly Caliente have a standing like duel. We have a battle.

[D]

Jiggly would destroy you.

[C]

NCU's better. Mortal Kombat. What is that based off of Jiggly?

[D]

First of all you play. I played against ones and blue. Jiggly plays all the time.

[C]

You don't know what I do with my life, Bob.

[E]

You.

[D]

I do know what you do with your life.

[C]

My whole life.

[E]

Have you guys seen this documentary?

[C]

Wait. Do you think you could beat me in Mortal Kombat?

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

So we have another. Anything you can do. You are sure you could be in Mortal Kombat?

[D]

A thousand percent.

[C]

One I would.

[D]

Let's bet a thousand dollars. I will beat you in a round of Mortal Kombat.

[C]

Is it one round, two out of three?

[D]

Or is one round one round?

[C]

One round.

[D]

$1,000. Y' all see this $1,000? I will beat you before we lose that.

[C]

It should be $1,000 to charity.

[D]

No, I want your money.

[C]

What a greedy, greedy money.

[D]

I'll decide what I do with my money after I get it.

[C]

All right, well, you know, I want. You know what a thousand dollars.

[D]

I'd be sitting around in Mortal Kombat.

[C]

Great. Do you have Mortal Kombat?

[D]

Yes, I have Mortal Kombat in my home. Do you have Mortal Kombat?

[C]

No, I don't need.

[D]

It worked.

[C]

You have Mortal Kombat. But I'm about to be over at for his house. Fucking train like Rocky Maivia, bitch. You are. You are. I. I am the Russian and you are Apollo. You about to go down.

[D]

I've never seen. I know.

[C]

That even means the Russian killed Apollo.

[D]

Got it.

[C]

And what's this?

[E]

Have you guys seen this documentary on Amazon prime called do youo Trust this Computer?

[C]

No.

[E]

So basically what it is, it's like Elon Musk and like all the big tech.

[C]

Who by the way, Elon Musk is. I'm sure a super villain like Elon Musk is. Is like what is a real life super villain. Elon Musk owns. He owns Tesla. He's like building rockets, sending them to the. Yeah. He's like. I think he's growing people. Like, I think Elon Musk is up to no good. He's too wealthy. He's trying to get to the moon.

[D]

He's not the richest man in the world.

[C]

He's not the richest man in the world. You don't have to be the richest man in the world to be dangerous. You can be the richest person on the block and still be dangerous.

[E]

He's trying to get people to Mars.

[C]

Why? What's he up to?

[D]

Because this planet is literally falling apart.

[C]

Well, you know, but also, just as a reminder, Mars is uninhabitable. So since.

[D]

Well, when you got money. Listen. When you got money, anything is inhabitable.

[C]

What I'm saying is this planet is uninhabitable. Mars is uninhabitable. If this planet that we're on already becomes uninhabitable. It would be easier to make this planet to do whatever you were gonna do to Mars, to do it to Earth, than it would be to move everybody to Mars.

[D]

We'll see.

[C]

I don't know.

[E]

I don't know. So this documentary, do youo Trust the Computers? With Elon Musk and a bunch of other, like, tech people. And they basically talk about how the technology already exists for artificial intelligence. To the point where we don't understand how it works. I mean, it's been contained, but, like, it just basically shows that the technology exists for artificial intelligence to learn on its own.

[C]

Then fucking Hal to Hal. What's his name? Hal, from Space Odyssey.

[D]

I never seen that movie. Hal.

[C]

HAL is the computer where they tell. HAL is like, the first ever Siri. And you tell HAL what to do, and HAL makes your life eas. And then at one point, HAL starts going crazy. Hal's like, I need to protect this ship. And then they're like, hal, you need to shut down. And Hal's like, my job is to protect the ship. And you are a danger to the ship. What's the line? I can't. Sorry, I can't do that. What's the famous HAL line? So Hal turns on the Hal's like, you told me to protect the ship. I'm here to protect the ship. You're a threat to the ship. I gotta get rid of you.

[D]

No, that's like that robot in Wally.

[C]

Well, Space Odyssey was way before Wally.

[E]

Yeah, it's basically that.

[C]

But Elon Musk is warning us. He's like, we coming for you. He's scary. I'm afraid of him.

[D]

I like him.

[C]

Rich people are scary.

[D]

So you scary.

[C]

Years ago, my grandma said, don't ever be afraid of a broke black man from the hood. Be afraid of a rich white man from Washington. She used to always say that those are the scariest people in the world. Cause you can't stop them.

[D]

Very thy.

[C]

Ooh, it's scary. When I was in college, I used to watch this movie, this conspiracy theory movie called Zeitgeist.

[D]

Oh, my God. The Zeitgeist. And they talk about how 911 was this whole setup.

[C]

Zeitgeist talks about how religion is a hoax. The American financial institution is designed to keep us in debt. And 911 was in a side job.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Which I'm not. 100% sold on 911 million inside the. You think 100%.

[D]

Girl, did you not see Zeitgeist? I mean, the fucking proof is in

[C]

the jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.

[D]

Zeitgeist is great.

[C]

There were explosions in the building.

[D]

I think that we talked a lot. Some good things about fear. I think I taught you some stuff. You taught me some stuff.

[C]

And now we're not afraid anymore.

[D]

I am not afraid of anything.

[C]

Will you go skydive with me?

[D]

Oh, yes.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Can we do that?

[C]

Crazy.

[D]

You don't want to do it?

[C]

I don't want to, but I will do it.

[D]

Oh, my God. And we get on GoPros and we skydive with GoPros. That would be so fun also. But here's the thing. I think we may meet the weight limit. It's like a weight limit to go. You definitely do.

[C]

Monet, you are heavier than me.

[D]

That is not true. True.

[C]

Do you want to bet this too? I got a scale at my house. Monet will never see. Exactly. Monet will never. That's good.

[D]

I just don't want to. I don't want to train my weight. But I'm not afraid to shame my weight. I just want to show it to

[C]

you, Monet, you are heavier than I am.

[D]

I don't think so. Because you told me your number before and I was like, oh, I was shocked. I was shocked that I was a little less than you.

[C]

I promise you.

[D]

You're heavier than me also. You could. That's because you went on your little Canadian tour. She done lost six pounds. Girl, you can't tell her shit. She lost six pounds.

[C]

I'm also three inches taller than you. Right?

[D]

Right.

[C]

But I'm still. But I still weigh less than you.

[D]

I don't think so.

[C]

You also think you're skinnier than me, which is absolutely insane.

[D]

I am.

[C]

What is that based off of? Looking Monat. You're not skinnier than me.

[D]

Looking at you.

[C]

You are large. You are a larger person than me.

[D]

That is not true. You also think that your hands are smaller than me.

[C]

Monat. From the thigh to the ankle. You have a thankle.

[D]

That is not true.

[C]

You don't have a thankle. But you are bigger than me. You are not have.

[D]

You also think that your hands are smaller than Mine. That is just not true.

[E]

You.

[C]

That is not true. You guys think Monet. Am I crazy? Monet is not skinnier than me. Don't even answer. Cause it's gonna be a rough awakening for Monet. But you're not skinnier than me.

[D]

Okay, that's not true.

[C]

But whatever Monet, your website is called I feel skinny, not I am skinny, bitch.

[D]

And so you just think you Thumbelina

[C]

over there, well, compared to.

[D]

You think that you are a Lupita Nyong', o, a waif of a woman.

[C]

Compared to you? Yes, Hanny. Compared to. Yes, Hanny.

[D]

Anyway, this is a very healthy conversation about fear. And I think that we've both learned some things.

[C]

I think so.

[D]

And I don't think I'm afraid of anything anymore.

[E]

Ever.

[C]

Oh, my God. That is not healthy, actually.

[D]

To what? You don't know.

[C]

We don't even. You have nothing on the table.

[D]

Yes, we do, bitch.

[C]

Can I do it? You do not have. You do not. Monet, first of all, do not play with me. And you don't have anything over there. Wait, can you.

[D]

Would you die?

[C]

You are so bad at the acting challenge.

[D]

Just that I won.

[C]

Did you win that?

[D]

Well, Breast World. I was.

[C]

You certainly didn't win Breast World.

[D]

You said to me that I was. That I was the best one in breast. So you said that to me.

[C]

You just said you won it.

[D]

Okay? But you saw, you thought. You thought I should have won, but

[C]

that's not what we discussed. Did you win the other acting challenge? Did you win Sex and the Kitty Girl?

[D]

That's not the House of Samantha.

[C]

So why did you say you won it when you didn't win it? You be saying the most random shit that don't make no sense. You be saying, like, is, do you know what acting challenge?

[D]

I won't Pepsi.

[C]

Okay?

[D]

That's the acting challenge.

[C]

I won, bitch.

[D]

And I won all the way to the bank.

[C]

How did you. I don't even. I don't even know how to respond to some of the crazy shit you say. Ok, you did do a Pepsi commercial. That's very cool.

[D]

Thank you. I know.

[C]

Would you like to acknowledge the things I've done now it's in a movie on Netflix.

[D]

This ain't Netflix you've been talking shit about for the past hour. I think I'm fully ever moving.

[C]

And the TV show on Netflix, can you tell them about it, please?

[D]

Can you even talk about it?

[C]

Yeah, it's announced.

[D]

It did?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, I haven't seen a post about it.

[C]

Yeah, I haven't I'm in a show called Tales of the City on Netflix with Olympia Dukakis, Laura Linney, Ellen Page. But I have not posted about it. I should post about it. I posted on Twitter. On Twitter. I did post.

[D]

I like how you didn't even ask them to bring me on too.

[C]

That's not how it works. It's not nepotism. I don't go in and be like, my friend wanna walk in too?

[E]

You should.

[C]

That's what I do. Monet. It's not Dave and Busters. I don't just walk in and say, my friend want a job.

[D]

I used to love Dave and Busters. We have to go.

[C]

We're out of time.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

I love you. This is a great episode.

[D]

I think so too.

[C]

Love you, sis.

[D]

Bye.

[C]

Bye, nigga.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Look, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to someone else. There's a guy behind you.

[D]

Every white person is red at this point.

[C]

There's an audible gasp in the room.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Except Pat. Pat was like. I was kidding. Patty. That wasn't Patty.

[D]

Patty's from Mississippi.

[B]

So?

[C]

Bitch, you wanna talk about something you wanna be afraid of? Motherfucker? I used to live in Mississippi. Heh.

[D]

Neat.

[C]

Listen, being gay and black in Mississippi. Oh, let me tell you.

[D]

And a redhead.

[B]

Oh,

[C]

Mrs. I can. Like, I'm not trying to trash Mississippi, but I just can't imagine, like, being, like, I want to stay right here as a black gay person. Like, I'm good and I'm staying.

[E]

I can't imagine wanting to stay there as a person.

[C]

I mean. Shout out. Mississippi. My mom from Mississippi. My daddy Alabama. My mom from Mississippi. I miss that Negro. With that Negro. Ain't no women. All right, thank you. Peace.

[D]

Goodbye.