The One About Geography

Summary

Podcast Summary: Sibling Rivalry – Episode: "The One About Geography"

Release Date: August 4, 2025
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Produced By: Sibling Rivalry, Studio71, & Confetti Cannon

---

Introduction to the Episode

In "The One About Geography," hosts Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dive into an engaging mix of comedy, personal anecdotes, and a challenging geography quiz. Known for their infectious chemistry and hilarious banter, the duo explores various facets of geography while intertwining humorous exchanges about their personal experiences and education.

---

Geography Challenge: Naming Asian Countries

The core of the episode revolves around a spirited competition between Monét and Bob to name every country in Asia. This segment showcases their knowledge (or lack thereof) of global geography, leading to numerous comedic moments.

• Monét's Confidence:

  • Monét X Change (02:30): "Can you name three swamps?"

• Discussions on Map Distortions:

  • The hosts debate the accuracy of world maps, highlighting common misconceptions about the sizes of countries like Greenland and the United States.
  • Monét (22:22): "Like when you look at a map of the world, the typical map of the world, Africa is a different shape than they're depicting it. Greenland is way smaller than they depict it to be."

• Notable Moments:

  • Monét expresses surprise at the depiction of Greenland, asserting its actual size compared to the United States.
    • Monét (24:38): "But Greenland is way smaller."

• Geography Quiz:

  • The duo attempts to list Asian countries, revealing gaps in their knowledge and resulting in playful ribbing.
  • Jacob (Bob) (39:36): "Let's do Asia."
  • Monét (49:45): "Brunei. That's it. Brunei."

---

Map Distortions and Geographic Misconceptions

Monét and Bob engage in a detailed discussion about how flat maps distort the actual sizes and proportions of continents and countries. They touch upon the implications of these distortions on perceived travel distances and regional importance.

• Monét (22:32): "But they're making it bigger for some reason."
• Bob (35:02): "I can't make maps were to scale. Like I thought that's the whole purpose of like when you..."

This conversation underscores the challenges of accurately representing a spherical Earth on a flat surface and how historical biases may influence map designs.

---

Earring Heirloom Anecdote

An entertaining back-and-forth unfolds as Bob tells a fictional story about Monét bailing Gayle King out of jail at the Yale Club, which spirals into a humorous debate over the authenticity and details of a family heirloom earring.

• Monét (05:43): "That's your degree."
• Bob (Jacob) (14:37): "Absolutely. Ask Rose Ritz about the family ear. The family heirloom earrings that were pawned."

The segment evolves into a playful mock argument, highlighting their impeccable comedic timing and ability to turn any topic into a source of laughter.

---

Comedy Exchanges on Education and Degrees

The conversation shifts to a mock-serious debate about academic degrees, with Monét and Bob exchanging jabs about each other's educational backgrounds and qualifications.

• Monét (56:27): "Your school sells your degree from these."

• Bob (Jacob) (56:35): "That's your degree."

• Quadratic Equations and Math Struggles:

  • The hosts attempt to recall the quadratic equation, leading to humorous inaccuracies and exaggerated frustration.
  • Monét (54:42): "Negative B plus or minus square root of B squared over 4ac."
  • Bob (56:03): "A bar is wild now."

• Trash-Talking About Degrees:

  • Monét boasts about her achievements, while Bob counters with playful skepticism about her credentials.
  • Monét (57:08): "You can get one. I can get one."
  • Bob (Jacob) (62:03): "If you need an old white woman to legitimize your career, that's good for you."

This exchange not only highlights their quick wit but also showcases their ability to blend humor with relatable topics like education and career aspirations.

---

Conclusion: Wrapping Up the Geography Fun

As the episode nears its end, Monét and Bob reflect on their geography challenge, acknowledging their limited knowledge while celebrating the fun they had attempting to name all Asian countries.

• Monét (66:32): "Obviously, it's gonna be a great day."
• Bob (Jacob) (66:46): "We can't wait. Sissy to eat. The camera with the mustard slathered on it."

The episode concludes with their characteristic humor, leaving listeners entertained and eagerly anticipating future episodes.

---

Notable Quotes

1. Map Distortion Insight:

   • Monét (22:22): "Because colonization has effectively tried to make certain places look smaller than they are."

2. Humorous Degree Battle:

   • Monét (56:27): "I can go to your college and buy a TV. I can go to where you took Math 3 and buy a flat screen TV."

3. Geography Challenge Excitement:

   • Monét (50:39): "We are running out of time. We will do this at the end."

4. Playful Threat:

   • Monét (63:03): "If Monet ever has one of these, I will eat this camera."

---

Final Thoughts

"The One About Geography" exemplifies the essence of Sibling Rivalry—a seamless blend of humor, camaraderie, and engaging discussions. Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen not only entertain but also resonate with listeners through their authentic interactions and relatable topics. Whether they're tackling geography or exchanging playful jabs, the hosts ensure an enjoyable listening experience for both dedicated fans and newcomers alike.

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Stay Connected

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Help improve the podcast by sharing your feedback: https://bit.ly/2EcYbu4

Transcript

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

You know I love a statement accessory and the snap sound.

[Jacob]

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[Monet X Change]

Rakuten is the most rewarding way to shop because you can stack cash back on top of sales and deals at your favorite stores like Ulta, Target and ebay.

[Jacob]

We're talking fashion, beauty, electronics, home stuff, travel, even concert tickets.

[Monet X Change]

You're already shopping at these stores, so why not get a little something back? Download the free Rakuten app or go to to start saving today. That's R A K-U T N rakuten.com My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[Jacob]

And I'm Monet X Change and this is sibling rivalry.

[Monet X Change]

On this week's episode, Monet bails Gayle King out of the jail at the Yale Club.

[Jacob]

We test ourselves on naming every country.

[Monet X Change]

In Asia and we find out what made Monet say this.

[Jacob]

So you want me to commit a crime? And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Monet X Change]

I have time to become a villain.

[Jacob]

What is this? Are these pearls on your sweater?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Can you. Can. Can you show us more or you.

[Monet X Change]

Just going to I'm not, I'm, I'm wearing shorts. So I'm not like wearing like.

[Jacob]

Oh, got it.

[Monet X Change]

But I'm really just dressed from the waist up.

[Jacob]

Girl, you always are. I thought this, this ain't nothing new. You always are.

[Monet X Change]

But I don't show everyone my, my non matching bottoms business.

[Jacob]

I mean, all your bottoms are mixed matched. Ba dum bam. I love these 90s Hillman grad glasses you're wearing.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you, dear. Well, of course, as a graduate from.

[Jacob]

Is is is not British.

[Monet X Change]

Black people can be British.

[Jacob]

I know, but Hillman is literally an American.

[Monet X Change]

So you don't think, you don't think that a black Brit could go to Hillman?

[Jacob]

No, you know, Hillman, when I make the reference, I'm talking about the motherfucking show. A different world.

[Monet X Change]

You're under the impression. Well, I, I understand what Hillman is, sir, but you seem to be under the impression that Hillman wouldn't accept a black graduate from the uk. And of course, in my tenure at Hillman, there were several African American scholars there studying alongside me. I was an exchange student. And of course I have a degree from Hillman in Afro Caribbean studies with a specialty in St. Lucia.

[Jacob]

Can we see this earring that you have on the air work?

[Monet X Change]

Can I see the earring in your ear? The earring.

[Jacob]

I said, I think they pierced me too low. I think my earrings, it needs to be up here. It's like, I think I'm gonna take it out and have them pierce it a little higher.

[Monet X Change]

Just remove the lower chunk of your ear and it'll be higher. It's probably easier than getting your ear repaired. Just remove the lower chunk of your ear.

[Jacob]

Like this up here.

[Monet X Change]

Your lobe. Remove the lower part of your lobe and it'll seem.

[Jacob]

No, but it'll be too low. I want it to be.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, they remove the top. The top part of your earlobe.

[Jacob]

But I have to move this and it'll be a gap.

[Monet X Change]

This the lobe or is the whole thing the lobe? The bottom part is the lobe, right?

[Jacob]

The bottom part is the lobe? Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Then what the fuck is this?

[Jacob]

I don't fucking know. I feel like you had that piercing. You were younger. Did you?

[Monet X Change]

In seventh grade?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

You mean the top?

[Jacob]

Your mom let you get it pierced in seven years?

[Monet X Change]

I never had the top of my ear pierced. Oh, never?

[Jacob]

I'd say get a year getting your cartilage done in seventh grade. A bar is wild now.

[Monet X Change]

My mom got her cartilage pierced and I got my ear pierced.

[Jacob]

That's in Seventh grade.

[Monet X Change]

Seventh grade? Yeah. I think Claire's at the South Lake Mall.

[Jacob]

I think I was allowed to do mine in high school. Like, 10, third or. Probably not. Probably like, right before college.

[Monet X Change]

Do you think someone has.

[Jacob]

I don't do that.

[Monet X Change]

You don't think.

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Someone's work with or did something with someone famous and remembered them, like, but before they were famous? Like, for example, is there a chance that someone, like, poured Gaga's coffee, like, a week before she got famous and was like, that lady. That's. That's the lady I pour coffee for.

[Jacob]

I mean, I know, because that person probably didn't even make an impact on you. Like, now, you know, she's laid a gag thing about it, but, like, not like she did something crazy or outlandish that you're like, oh, yeah, I remember that happened. But, you know, when I worked at the Yale Club, I'm sure I may have checked in someone because a lot of celebrities used to roll in there before. Like, a lot of, like, big execs would do dinner parties for their artists.

[Monet X Change]

But I mean, like, before, they're not like, post fame.

[Jacob]

I know. I'm saying, like, at the Yale Club, like, because, you know, a lot of, you know, rich, social.

[Monet X Change]

Are you saying the name of the club?

[Jacob]

The Yale Club.

[Monet X Change]

Like, they, like, they. Like they yelling at them.

[Jacob]

Yale. Yale. I didn't say the Yale Club.

[Monet X Change]

You said the Yale Club.

[Jacob]

Like I said the Yale Club.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, the Yale Club. Not the Yale Club.

[Jacob]

I said the Yale Club. I did not say the Yale Club.

[Monet X Change]

Do you call her Gayle King?

[Jacob]

Gayle King.

[Monet X Change]

Her name is Gayle King.

[Jacob]

Right, Gayle King.

[Monet X Change]

You're saying Gayle King. Say Gayle and then say Gayle.

[Jacob]

Gayle. I know her name is Gayle.

[Monet X Change]

Her name is Gayle.

[Jacob]

Right, Gayle.

[Monet X Change]

You're saying it the way the Viv would say Gail. Yeah, Gail.

[Jacob]

No.

[Unknown]

Can you say, I bailed Gayle King out of the jail at the Yale Club.

[Jacob]

I bailed Gayle King out of the Yale. Out of the jail at the Yale Club.

[Monet X Change]

Well, say I rang a bell when you posted bail.

[Jacob]

I rang a bell when you posted bail.

[Monet X Change]

See, now you did it. That's right. You said Bailey. But you were saying you. I feel like normally you say, I rang the bell when I post the bell.

[Jacob]

What is your obsession with language and the way that people pronounce the words? What? You. You're. You're obsessed.

[Monet X Change]

I do find accents and pronunciations really interesting.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Then they could go to school for it and leave me alone.

[Monet X Change]

I don't want to go back to school.

[Jacob]

Why not? Bob, can you invite us in school together? That'd be so fun.

[Monet X Change]

I don't want to go back to school.

[Jacob]

Us doing like a little project.

[Monet X Change]

Thought. I thought about it. Thought. See, that's the thing. I say thought now. I don't say thought no more. I say I thought about it. That's crazy. I don't know where that came from. That's. I did not used to talk like that.

[Jacob]

You want to be me so bad.

[Monet X Change]

You don't say. You don't say. You don't even say that.

[Jacob]

Yes, I do. I say. I mean, I say thought.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, and I said thought. I say like Wendy Williams would say.

[Jacob]

It because you want to be a New Yorker so bad.

[Monet X Change]

Wendy Williams from New Jersey.

[Jacob]

I know, but she is a New Yorker. She's from New Jersey, but she's an iconic New Yorker.

[Monet X Change]

She's famous. She's an iconic New Jerseyan. I don't think she's ever even lived in New York City.

[Jacob]

Yes, she did, girl. She lived in New York for the past 10, 12, 15 years.

[Monet X Change]

She would famously go across the bridge.

[Jacob]

No, but she's been in New York in her ap. She always had an apartment there, so she had a residence.

[Monet X Change]

You're making that up.

[Jacob]

That's not true. I used to watch it after show. Yes, she would drive home, but she al. But she would often times stay at her apartment in New York cuz she had like events and shit.

[Monet X Change]

Wendy Williams is a. Is a. Is. She's iconic for if everyone's like iconically from somewhere, she's iconically a New Jersey. New Jersey. Or what do they call the New Jersey people? Jerseyite? No, a Jersey girl.

[Jacob]

Jersey girl. But what would a Jersey guy be? A Jersey boy.

[Monet X Change]

An asshole.

[Jacob]

Wait, what's that thing you said on After Midnight? The New York.

[Monet X Change]

The New York City? Yeah, the New York. The LA Influencers. The New Jersey Tryhards.

[Jacob]

The New Jersey Tryhards.

[Monet X Change]

And then also the one got cut or didn't make it on the clip. I said the Palm Springs 76ers, but they're actually 76.

[Jacob]

That's good. That's good.

[Monet X Change]

But so I'm also wondering too about like who worked with a famous person but just never knew, never connected that that was the person they worked with.

[Jacob]

Like before they were famous.

[Monet X Change]

Like when Madonna was working at Dunkin Donuts. Do all of them remember that was Madonna?

[Jacob]

Probably that's different. Cause you work with someone with an extended period of time. You used to clock in with Them you probably had lunch with, them you talked about, that's different. But a one off interaction with a Starbucks or like at a car, remember.

[Monet X Change]

That you never forgotten him. You never forgot a coworker, just like forgot they forgot. Forgot all about them.

[Jacob]

Yeah, but that's because they never did anything. I never saw them or heard anything of them after that. Like if my, if, if my coworker was Sza. Right. And like we worked at fucking a dog grooming shop together. Like I'm sure years later and I see her blow like oh my God, I used to work with her as opposed to.

[Monet X Change]

Is she a dog groomer?

[Jacob]

I don't know. I don't know what she did before.

[Monet X Change]

But that would be. But I'm intrigued by like someone you just forgot about completely. Then they become famous and then you just never connect that you actually. That they are that person because you forgot. I have so many coworkers that I just don't remember at all. Like their names, their looks, anything. And then that person becomes famous and it never connects to you that that is that person. Because they didn't leave, they didn't make an impact on you.

[Jacob]

Do you have that experience?

[Monet X Change]

I wouldn't know.

[Jacob]

I was saying but if you work with somebody, when you work with people you are. You don't get intimately. But you know a lot about your co workers, right? Like any coworkers are other co workers that you just didn't like. Like you don't know anything about them.

[Monet X Change]

There must be a co worker who I've completely forgotten about. I mean looks, name every there. I've worked at so many jobs. There must be at least one person I have, I have just completely erased from my memory. There must be.

[Jacob]

But again the reason why they're still out of your memory, they've never, they've never done anything. No, I mean not anything. They're not famous.

[Monet X Change]

They are someone that's someone's mom, someone's child, someone.

[Jacob]

And that bitch and that bastard ain't done nothing. Shit. They ain't done shit.

[Monet X Change]

I just think about that when I think about people. Like, because I ran into someone recently at. When I wanted to go see La Cage and it was an actor I used to work with at the Jekyll and Hyde Club. And I had not thought about this person in years and they just manifested in front of like, oh my God. And I remember thinking, I was like, you look so familiar. Why do you look so familiar with your girlfriend? And they were like, we used to be actors together at the Jekyll and Hyde club. I was like, oh, my God. That's right.

[Jacob]

Did they know you were famous?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Jacob]

Right? Yeah. Cause what?

[Monet X Change]

He was.

[Jacob]

Lukewarm.

[Monet X Change]

How would that mean, lukewarm?

[Jacob]

He did this?

[Monet X Change]

No, I went, okay, well, half your.

[Jacob]

Hands cut out the screen. But that big ass.

[Monet X Change]

But also put your big ass head.

[Jacob]

Gave a fitness green girl put your.

[Monet X Change]

Big men's Monet go to cover her mouth. She cover her eyes, too.

[Jacob]

Big ass head girl to her. Yo, behind the earth, half your head. Your head is so big. It's like over, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

Monae can scratch both ears with one hand, bitch.

[Jacob]

What's up, nigga?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Jacob]

You're a bully. You're a bully. Tell me about this airing. You're back into airing now.

[Monet X Change]

I wear rings all the time.

[Jacob]

No, like the single big tribute zirconia. This is like a very, like.

[Monet X Change]

Excuse me.

[Jacob]

What? It's not.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know what this is there.

[Jacob]

What is it?

[Monet X Change]

It's a diamond.

[Jacob]

Okay. Who you think about plastic tiara? So you think.

[Monet X Change]

You think I can afford a diamond?

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I. It was given to me.

[Jacob]

I know. By whom? Jacob.

[Monet X Change]

None of your business. None of your business. Lab grown. It is a lab grown diamond that Jacob gave me. I don't know if he bought it, but he gave it to me. I don't know how Jacob got it, but Jacob got it. Then I got it, and Jacob gave me a diamond. Diamond.

[Jacob]

And Jacob, how much was this diamond earring?

[Unknown]

How much is the bracelet you're wearing?

[Jacob]

I asked you how much is the diamond earring?

[Unknown]

How much the bracelet you're wearing is.

[Jacob]

I asked you first. How much is domineering.

[Monet X Change]

That doesn't mean you have to ask.

[Unknown]

I'm asking the same question.

[Jacob]

And then since y' all see y', all. This is how. This is how they.

[Monet X Change]

They. They.

[Unknown]

We can say it at the same time.

[Jacob]

Huh?

[Unknown]

We can say that. Say your answer at the same time.

[Jacob]

I asked you first.

[Monet X Change]

I don't. You also don't know that Jacob bought that. Jacob could have inherited this.

[Jacob]

Inherited from who?

[Monet X Change]

Someone. His aunt. I'm not talking to you.

[Jacob]

My talking to Jacob.

[Unknown]

Oh, it's a family heirloom. It's from my. My grandmother.

[Jacob]

Y' all are so fucking full of it, y'. All. The House of the Dragon, y'. All. They are so full of. Full of it. They need a septic tank for all the they're full of.

[Monet X Change]

So when. So when Jacob's grandmother inherited from her grandmother was. Back then, it was like $15, which was a lot of money back then.

[Jacob]

So I grabbed.

[Unknown]

It was actually more than that because they were. The. The story behind the earring is that they used to pawn them. They would bring to the pawn shop when they ever. They were low on money, and then after they got the money, they would buy them back. This is when they first immigrated to.

[Jacob]

The U.S. jacob, if I called because I. I got your mom's number right now I have Rose Ritz number. Rose Ritz, she gonna tell me the same story about this motherfucking earring.

[Unknown]

Absolutely. Ask Rose Ritz about the family ear. The family heirloom earrings that were pawned.

[Jacob]

That's you.

[Monet X Change]

Okay?

[Jacob]

I'm not denying that happened. I'm talking about the earring that is on Bob's ear is your great great. Your great grandmother's earring that she gives to your grandmother, to your mom that you gave to Bob.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

Taller, call our bluff.

[Jacob]

Y' all are fucking liars.

[Monet X Change]

You can corroborate this story in less than 10 seconds, but you refuse to.

[Jacob]

Fucking liars.

[Monet X Change]

You have all the tools you need to corroborate this story.

[Jacob]

Okay, Jacob, text me your mom's number again.

[Unknown]

You have it. It's on your.

[Jacob]

No, don't text it to me. I don't have it.

[Unknown]

Ok.

[Monet X Change]

We'Ll cross that bridge when we get there. In the meantime, in between time, you are so too. I want to ask you who's the most famous person you grew up with?

[Jacob]

This is literally. This is the. This is how y' all gaslight y'.

[Monet X Change]

All. Y'.

[Jacob]

All. This is lit. This is textbook gasl gas situation. How these motherfuckers are trying to warp my perception of reality to trick me to believe in the truth. This is. This is crazy. I can't believe I have to work like this. What are you going to do? Go ahead.

[Monet X Change]

What are you going to do in a Rose Crop racist story?

[Jacob]

Jacob, don't be texting Jake. I want to see your text messages to your mom right now.

[Unknown]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Monet X Change]

We have nothing to hide because we tell truths over here. Whole truths. Whole truths, honey. No, half truths.

[Jacob]

I'll show you a whole truth, Honey.

[Monet X Change]

Put that thing away.

[Jacob]

Jacob, you just deleted it.

[Monet X Change]

He says fun visit. Oh, damn. Damn. Rose radio on that one. You've reached Rose Ritz.

[Jacob]

Please leave me in the voice notes.

[Monet X Change]

I'll talk to you as soon as I can.

[Jacob]

Thanks. Hi, Rose, this is your stepson son in law, Boda Exchange. And I want a podcast with Jacob and Bob and they're telling me a story I know about an airing that Jacob gifted to Javab. I just wanted to talk about some details about this airing. If you have any time today, please give me a call back at your earliest convenience in the next 45 minutes. So great seeing you at the concert the other day. Have a good day, darling. Bye.

[Monet X Change]

You gonna gag when she checks back and goes, oh, the one that my great grandmother, that my grandmother gave to my mother, that I gave to Jacob, the gj. Of course she's gonna be like, what about it?

[Jacob]

Y' all are so lying at this point. And y', all, y' all know Vaugh would do anything for a bit. So I know. And Jacob knows that and Jacob will too. So they have probably twisted and contorted. I can't even get into it anymore.

[Monet X Change]

Then don't get into it. You know what, let's take a break then so you don't have to get.

[Jacob]

By looking at me.

[Monet X Change]

I know y' all can tell that.

[Jacob]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's talk about how Amazon prime makes everything better. You know the moment you're binge watching different things and you realize that prime has more to offer than expected. Amazon prime isn't just fast delivery though, let's be honest, getting snacks or a last minute prop delivered the same day is a lifesaver. It's also prime video for all the comedy specials, Amazon music to vibe to, and all the things that make life more interesting. Red band. Whether streaming a standup special, building the perfect playlist for the next show, or getting new gear delivered fast, prime helps make it all happen and maybe even delivers a few laughs along the way. So whether comedy, drama, or just the perfect new joke book is the vibe, remember, prime is there for it. I do it all on Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into. Amazon.comprime I'm leaving on a jet plane.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know when I'll be back again.

[Jacob]

Tracy Chapman.

[Monet X Change]

I actually don't know who she. I think it's been covered by several people. Oh, you know, my favorite song about airplanes is when Alaska says, I was flying on an airplane and the airplane almost went down, down, down. Lady Luck was staring at me but I smiled as I looked around. That's so smart to me.

[Jacob]

What song is that?

[Monet X Change]

It's called Legendary. I thought, it's all right. It's okay. I'd be a legend if I die today and I'd never get old and everyone would know that I was legendary. I was thinking to myself, if I die now, I would die a legend. I have time to become a villain.

[Jacob]

What do you think right now? You think right now your legendary status?

[Monet X Change]

If I died, I'd be. If I died, I would become a legend. I'm a. I think I'm a drag legend for sure. But if I died, I'd become like a legend. Legend. But I have to die young, though, and I don't want to do that.

[Jacob]

Interesting. What is the longest flight you think you've ever been on?

[Monet X Change]

Well, definitely to Australia, but the trip itself was maddening. The trip was. Oh, my God. Five and a half hours from LA to New York. From New York to LA. So we're at five and a half hours. One hour layover. We're at six and a half hours. 19 hours to Sydney. We are now at LA to.

[Jacob]

City's on 19 hours. It's like 14, Jacob.

[Monet X Change]

Google it. To Sydney. We are now at six. Well, 25 and a half hours. 15 hours. So fifth. So now we're at 21 hours. 20. 20. 25 and a half hours.

[Jacob]

No, you're at 20.

[Monet X Change]

No, 50. Okay, 20 hours. And then I want to say like four hours to. Then another. Then. No, but plus the. Then another layover in Sydney. That was about two hours. So now we're at 22 hours and then another four to five hours to Perth. So it was over 24 hours of traveling.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I think my longest was also it was the end of a tour. So we had to go from Perth to Sydney, which is like a six hour flight. I think five or six hours. And then Sydney to la and then also live in New York, LA home, which was like. Yes.

[Monet X Change]

The map of the world is drawn so oddly that I don't understand because the, the, the, the, the sizes of the, the, the land are not shrewd.

[Jacob]

They're not scaled properly like from, from all the territories.

[Monet X Change]

Like when you look at a map of the world, the typical map of the world, Africa is, is a different shape than they're depicting it. It's larger than it is. Greenland is way smaller than they depict it to be.

[Jacob]

Are they?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Jacob]

But then how can you use the legend then? Because the legends are. Because if you.

[Monet X Change]

Because, because the legend will tell you that essentially. But you have to like. It's quite complicated. Jake, can you bring up a map of the world like, but like Greenland is, is way smaller than they're, than they're depicting it on these maps. So a flight to South Africa is really, really long. Longer than it looks. It looks like it should be shorter because of the way the map is drawn and because Australia and the US are on opposite sides.

[Jacob]

I can't make maps were to scale. Like I thought that's the whole purpose of like when you.

[Monet X Change]

No, the map that we look at is not to scale.

[Jacob]

I don't know how true that is.

[Monet X Change]

It's distorted.

[Unknown]

It's true. If you're looking at a flat map, it is distorted because you can't take a globe in something spherical and make it in flat without distorting the ends of it. If you look at a globe, a.

[Monet X Change]

Globe will be accurate, but not necessarily because also. Well, sometimes depending on the globe you're looking at. Because also colonization has effectively tried to make certain places look smaller than they are.

[Jacob]

Like on a map.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, like the white people were like make these places look bigger than those places.

[Jacob]

Because like when you look at the. I don't know what kind of map you call that the map when they're not. It's not a square. It's, it's, it's not spherical but it's like an oval. Yeah, but it's not an oval because.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Anyway, like. Jacob, are you sharing one? No.

[Monet X Change]

But Greenland is way smaller.

[Unknown]

Greenland is actually larger, I think.

[Monet X Change]

No, the way you look at the flat map, Greenland is smaller. Pull up the world map please.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Jacob]

Do you say world map? Whoa.

[Monet X Change]

I, I, I, I don't know what happened there. What the fuck?

[Unknown]

Just Google Maps. There you go.

[Monet X Change]

Look, okay, Greenland is the size bigger than America.

[Jacob]

Okay? No, okay, on the map we're looking.

[Monet X Change]

At, Greenland is larger than the United States.

[Jacob]

I've never seen that. I've never ever seen that depicted like that. That's crazy.

[Monet X Change]

That's how Greenland is always depicted. But that's the actual size of Greenland.

[Jacob]

Like, I'm looking at it in, like, other maps. I've never, I've never ever seen Greenland having all that white stuff. To me, I always remember Greenland being, like, a little bigger than Iceland.

[Unknown]

Well, I think that also, like, not all of this is Greenland, right? Some of this just is straight up the Arctic, right? Like, is this actually all Greenland on the map?

[Jacob]

So you're saying, like, on the map, like, they like to.

[Unknown]

It is this entire white thing Greenland? I guess it is, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

But they're making it bigger for some reason.

[Jacob]

What is the population of Greenland?

[Monet X Change]

Let's guess.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Jacob]

You rob you.

[Monet X Change]

I think Greenland has a population of 540,000 people.

[Jacob]

You have to let it go. You're obsessed with guessing population.

[Monet X Change]

I think 540,000 people live in Greenland.

[Jacob]

I'm going to say less than. I'm going to say 250,000.

[Unknown]

It's fixed. 56,000.

[Jacob]

Wow.

[Monet X Change]

Jesus.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah. I mean, who the fuck wants to live there? It's ice.

[Monet X Change]

Apparently. Donald Trump does, girl.

[Jacob]

He don't want it. They want it for oil. They want it for fucking resources.

[Monet X Change]

He wants it for protection, bitch. In case the penguins try to gather us, bitch.

[Jacob]

You know, see, J.D. vance and his. Fuck. J.D. vance and his wife went to Greenland.

[Monet X Change]

I saw.

[Jacob]

And they would not. They had to leave. They only like, they were protests. People were not allowing him to. Businesses leave within three hours.

[Monet X Change]

People do not like James Douglas Vance.

[Jacob]

Well. And I'm like, what's also annoying.

[Monet X Change]

That's not his name. I don't know.

[Jacob]

His name is actually just dance vans. The fact that people are probably just. They're painting all of us with this stroke about how evil Americans are. And it's like, no, y'.

[Monet X Change]

All.

[Jacob]

It's them. They're the bad ones. They really suck.

[Monet X Change]

So, Jacob, can you pull a picture of the actual world map to scale? Because you're gonna gag. It is not how they depict it, girl. It's not how they depict it. This could be the one by geography, actually. I feel a geography episode coming up. How are you with geography?

[Jacob]

I don't Know, actually. Yeah, I mean, yeah, Africa is the biggest continent. America and Australia are roughly the same size. I think I knew all of that.

[Monet X Change]

But look how small Greenland is. That blew my mind also. I don't think a lot of people realize how gigantic Alaska is.

[Jacob]

Yeah, Alaska is pretty big.

[Monet X Change]

Alaska's the largest state, land wise.

[Jacob]

Yeah, totally.

[Monet X Change]

By a long shot. Yeah, Alaska is gigantic. It's huge.

[Jacob]

Did you know about those fucking, you know, the beautiful ass beaches they have in Japan? I was like, no. How was. I never knew Japan had beautiful beaches because they have all the.

[Monet X Change]

Japan has beaches.

[Jacob]

I mean, I didn't know that they were like nice, like, like look, look like you're in fucking Fiji.

[Monet X Change]

You just thought Japan had garbage ass beaches.

[Jacob]

No, I thought, I thought I knew they had like a beach, but I didn't realize they were like nice, like white sand, like clear blue water.

[Monet X Change]

Japan is an island, Right.

[Jacob]

It's multiple islands. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

So they would obviously have nice beaches.

[Jacob]

Yeah. But I just did. I've never. When you, when you, when you hear of beach vacation, you don't ever think or you don't ever hear people say, I'm going to Japan for the beach. Right. They go for, for skiing and things like that. I've never heard Japan for their. Known. For their beaches.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so do you know what a peninsula is?

[Jacob]

Yeah, it's a peninsula has water on three sides. It's like a.

[Monet X Change]

On three sides. So Florida would be a peninsula, right?

[Jacob]

Correct.

[Monet X Change]

Give me one.

[Jacob]

But what I'm asking you. A geography thing.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Okay. Do you know what a K is? K A K, C A Y.

[Monet X Change]

Is that a thing?

[Jacob]

Yeah, the K of Ba. The K of this.

[Monet X Change]

A K seems like something near water and it seems like it's basically like a bay.

[Jacob]

A K means like it has like low water. Like it's normally like water you can like walk in. They have like coral.

[Unknown]

How are you spilling this, Monet?

[Jacob]

C a y. Cause St. Lucia has KS and it's like little like, like reefs and like corals and stuff like that. You can to like walk into it.

[Monet X Change]

I don't, I'm not sure the difference between a plateau and a mesa. I think that a plateau is smaller and a mesa looks like a mountain but flat on top.

[Unknown]

Oh, okay. I see it's a different spelling in the Caribbean. It's a key, like Key West.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, the key.

[Unknown]

But in, in the Caribbean they will. They. It's alternate spelling and pronunciation.

[Monet X Change]

So I don't know what a key is.

[Jacob]

A kiki.

[Monet X Change]

You. You. You tried to trick Me. That's not fair.

[Jacob]

I didn't know that. I didn't know it's called a key.

[Monet X Change]

You never heard of Key West? You thought it was K West.

[Jacob]

I don't know why.

[Monet X Change]

You thought it was Kanye West.

[Jacob]

I don't know what they call it. I don't know why they call it a key, But I know a K.

[Monet X Change]

So I love K. Anyway, I think that a plateau is like. Imagine a hill, but it's flat on top. And a mesa goes like for a long. They're just much, much larger, but they're also flat on top.

[Jacob]

I haven't heard of a mesa before. I don't know what the fuck that even is.

[Unknown]

How about that butte?

[Monet X Change]

B U T T E A B U T T E. A butte.

[Jacob]

I have a very big butte.

[Monet X Change]

I feel like a beaut is probably. Don't Google Monet.

[Jacob]

I'm not.

[Monet X Change]

I feel like a beaut is probably a. Icy where the water's like low key melting, but it's still quite snowy and it's the water melting off from the glacier.

[Jacob]

I actually kind of think the opposite. I feel like the butte is probably. I feel like. I feel like we have a lot of buttes in the. In like the Rockies. I feel like the butte is like an isolated hill with a steep side and like a flat top.

[Monet X Change]

What is it? Oh, it's like a. Oh, it's a tiny little plat. Wait, so the mesa is actually the smaller one, the plateau is the larger one.

[Jacob]

And I was right about the butte.

[Unknown]

Butte is the smallest one, mesa is the medium one, and a plateau is more like.

[Jacob]

It's more what you've done in your career, you, plateau.

[Unknown]

So it's like a larger space of land, maybe like a field, maybe something else. And then there's a steep drop off, like a cliff leading to something else.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you were closer than me.

[Jacob]

Okay, okay.

[Monet X Change]

Can you name three swamps?

[Jacob]

No, I could name one.

[Monet X Change]

You name one swamp, you can name one swamp.

[Jacob]

I know. Swamp Thing. Remember that show, Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing. You make my.

[Monet X Change]

There are no swamps in St. Lucia.

[Jacob]

No, we don't have no damn swamps.

[Monet X Change]

There's gotta be a Swamp in St. Lucia.

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

You thought there were no Mormons in St. Lucia.

[Jacob]

I know, I know that. And when Andy went in there, he was looking for a fucking AA meeting. And there was one. A meeting that does not happen anymore. I was like, girl, no one is sober in St. Lucia like that.

[Monet X Change]

There's gotta be a swamp in St. Lucia. I feel there's all that water. No Swamp.

[Jacob]

We don't have swamps. What constitutes a swamp?

[Monet X Change]

A swamp is a little more inland. I think that maybe the. I don't know if the wildlife is what makes it a swamp or not.

[Jacob]

A swamp is a forested wetland characterized by hydric soils that are flooded or saturated for part of the growing season, which support a canopy of trees and or shrubs.

[Monet X Change]

So are there any swamps in St. Lucia?

[Jacob]

No, other than. I know.

[Monet X Change]

Let me Google St. Lucia swamps. You ever been to a swamp?

[Jacob]

No, and I don't want to go. They be having scary little creatures.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, the. The. The Monkoti mangrove in St. Lucia is a swamp.

[Jacob]

I don't know what the that even is.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it's.

[Jacob]

Are you sure? I don't even know that's. I never heard of that. Was that name?

[Monet X Change]

Well, I mean, I. I'm not sure, but according to caribbean/caribbean-c.org the monk, the. The man Cody Mangrove in St. Lucia. What is a mangrove? Oh, it's a mangrove. What is a mangrove? Mangroves are various large, extensive types of treat trees. Wait, is this a swamp or not?

[Jacob]

I'm looking up St. Lucia swamps and it's bringing up Africa. Because there's a place in Africa called the Wetland park in Isimangal. Isiman Galiso, South Africa.

[Monet X Change]

So mangrove, a swamp.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it is in St. Lucia.

[Monet X Change]

It is. Mankoti mangrove is the largest Basin Mangrove in St. Lucia, located in Southeast Asia. It was designated as a marine.

[Jacob]

We're not in Southeast Asia.

[Unknown]

This says. Yeah, I don't know why it's telling you South Asia. Let me look.

[Monet X Change]

No, it is. I said St. Lucia. I misspoke.

[Unknown]

Oh, gotcha. That makes more sense.

[Monet X Change]

It is a wetland of significant value and international importance in 2002.

[Jacob]

Interesting.

[Monet X Change]

Do you like geography?

[Jacob]

I do not like geography. I can tell you the geography. I don't know, bitch. In the middle of the country. Like you can tell me. In my mind. Omaha. Sorry. South Dakota, North Dakota, Nebraska, Arkansas. I don't know what any of these things are. Not really aware of the center of the country.

[Monet X Change]

They all look very similar, but the.

[Jacob]

Geography wise, I don't know where they are. I think we've done this before on this podcast. I think northeast South Dakota are under Chicago.

[Monet X Change]

No, they're to the west of Chicago.

[Jacob]

See?

[Monet X Change]

And they are just west of Wiscon of Minnesota.

[Jacob]

Minnesota.

[Monet X Change]

I believe it goes Wisconsin. Minnesota, north and South Dakota. Montana, Washington.

[Jacob]

I want to say Iowa. Iowa, Wyoming.

[Monet X Change]

Do we get that right, Jacob? Wait. Wisconsin, Minnesota, north and South Dakota. I'd say Montana's next Going west. Anything you think Iowa pops in?

[Jacob]

I think it's. I think it's Wyoming.

[Monet X Change]

I think Wyoming's south of Montana.

[Jacob]

Sure. Couldn't tell you.

[Monet X Change]

Can you show us? Could you. Could you clarify, Jacob? Yeah, you gotta zoom in. Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana. Idaho pops up. But Washington and Montana do connect. So I was kind of right. But also you were right about Idaho popping in, and I was right about Wyoming being below.

[Jacob]

Idaho doesn't. Montana, Washington don't connect. Idaho is between them.

[Monet X Change]

They don't touch at all.

[Unknown]

No, no, I believe. Sorry. I guess this map makes it because it's bring them apart. Oh, it makes it look like that, but in fact. Well, let me look.

[Monet X Change]

So, yeah. Idaho. Did you say Iowa or Idaho?

[Jacob]

Idaho. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Got it. So Idaho pops in between Washington and Montana. And by the way, to those who are international, when y' all be like, how do Americans not know America is gigantic? There are so, like, when you think about places like Canada, which is huge, where they have 13 territories.

[Jacob]

Yes, 12.

[Monet X Change]

13 territories, yo. We have 50 fucking states. They're all broken up into such tiny little pieces, it is hard to remember where they are. Hey, guys, it's Ceedee Lamb, wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys. I'm partnering with Abercrombie this season to tell you all about their viral dinner. All you need to know is denim should fit like this. My jeans need to check a lot of boxes fit first, trend second. They need to go with whatever I'm feeling, and Abercrombie Denim has it down, whether I'm throwing on a tee or putting the whole fit together. Shop Abercrombie denim in the app, online and in store.

[Unknown]

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[Jacob]

I don't really know the geography of Europe like that. I know like London. I know like, like the UK is, I think next to the UK is Paris. And then I know Italy is south of that. I mean France then Italy is south of that, I think. Yeah, I don't even know.

[Monet X Change]

You think France is south of Paris?

[Jacob]

No, it's the uk. France and then Italy under that. And then. Sorry, then Greece is under that. Into the East. Oh, no, girl.

[Monet X Change]

Greece is along the Mediterranean Sea.

[Jacob]

Right. It's always like Sicily.

[Monet X Change]

That's where you were when you, when you were in the broom closet. What is it? Mesopotamia in Greece?

[Jacob]

I don't know where Mesopotamia is actually. Can we look that up.

[Unknown]

In Iraq?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, why do I think it was in Greece?

[Jacob]

Because you want to go to Mesopotamia. Where was Mesopotamia?

[Monet X Change]

Not the way you going.

[Jacob]

Matania's meaning land between the rivers was a historical region in West Asia, specifically. Yes, the. Yes, the Tigres and the Euphrates. I remember learning this.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna say don't act like you learned this on your trip. Don't act like you remember being there. I remember seeing that rock. Don't act like you on your journey.

[Jacob]

You saw this. Encompassing parts of present day Iraq, Iran, Turkey, Syria and Kuwait.

[Monet X Change]

How many countries in Asia can you name? Can we name all of them?

[Jacob]

All of the Asian countries, Jacob.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, Jacob, pull up one of those things. You know, the little things you do when you do your Pokemon thing.

[Jacob]

Not his little Pokemon thing.

[Monet X Change]

And we're going to try to. Monet and I are going to together try to name every Single country in Asia, or do you want to do Africa? Or do you want to do Europe?

[Jacob]

Let's do Asia.

[Monet X Change]

Asia. Okay. Okay, Monet, between the two of us, we should be able to get, like, five at least. Let's find out how many there are. Let's both guess. I'm gonna say there's probably 40 countries in Asia. Or 30. 30 countries. 30 something countries in Asia.

[Jacob]

I'm gonna say more. I want to say 50. Asia is big, girl. Asia's pretty big.

[Monet X Change]

If it's 50, we're gonna. We're gonna struggle.

[Unknown]

Here's the thing. Google says 48. This quiz I have pulled up here says 49.

[Monet X Change]

All right, well, maybe. Maybe. Okay, we're gonna. We're gonna do. We're do the quiz again. You gotta put it on the screen so we can see.

[Jacob]

Yep.

[Monet X Change]

All right, Monet, we can do this. Do you believe in us?

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Monet, come on now.

[Jacob]

Okay, so I'm gonna say countries that I know.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, give Jake time. Type them in. Okay. Okay, one by one.

[Jacob]

India. Hobby.

[Monet X Change]

Japan.

[Jacob]

China.

[Monet X Change]

Laos.

[Jacob]

Thailand.

[Monet X Change]

Tibet.

[Jacob]

Is it no?

[Monet X Change]

Tibet?

[Unknown]

Maybe. Maybe this. I feel like Tibet is one of those countries that. Yes, that's depending on your politics with China. Wait, do they have Taiwan? That would be crazy.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, wait, Jacob, you can't play. Indonesia.

[Jacob]

Vietnam.

[Monet X Change]

Vietnam. Sri Lanka.

[Jacob]

Korea. Well, South Korea.

[Monet X Change]

Iraq.

[Jacob]

North Korea.

[Monet X Change]

Iran.

[Jacob]

Kuwait.

[Monet X Change]

Sumatra.

[Jacob]

Sumatra.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think. God bless you. Is it in Africa? Let me see.

[Unknown]

No, it's in Indonesia, but it's. It's. I think it's an island in Indonesia.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Jacob]

Okay, it's my turn. Russia.

[Monet X Change]

Georgia.

[Jacob]

Oh, Syria.

[Unknown]

Oh, sorry.

[Jacob]

It's a Y.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God. Only have 17. Borneo.

[Jacob]

Borneo is not in Asia.

[Unknown]

It's an island. Is it a country, though? It's interesting, huh?

[Jacob]

Philippines.

[Unknown]

I don't know how to spell it. I'm just bad at spelling. Give me one second.

[Jacob]

Wow. Bob, don't highlight Jacob's insecurities.

[Monet X Change]

Cambodia.

[Jacob]

What's the one with an S that I went to? Singapore.

[Monet X Change]

Palestine.

[Jacob]

Yemen.

[Monet X Change]

Is Oman in Africa? Oman.

[Unknown]

Palestine is the one that Google Maps is not acknowledging. But this place is. That's the Oman. That makes sense. Ooh, yikes. Google.

[Jacob]

Israel.

[Monet X Change]

Iraq. Iran. Saudi Arabia.

[Jacob]

Yes. What's that one? I don't know if this is from Borat. Kazakhstan.

[Monet X Change]

Kazakhstan.

[Jacob]

Kazakhstan. Wow. Kazakhstan is big. Where, where, where, where? That place. Oh, that bitch. Sorry. Melania Trump. Where's she from?

[Unknown]

She's from Russia.

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Is she?

[Jacob]

I thought she's from a country that wasn't.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, Monet, we don't have time to mull over this. Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, you're right.

[Unknown]

You're right, Monet. She's not from Russia. My bad.

[Jacob]

Right, Bob, what's the name of the country, though?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know where she's from.

[Jacob]

Bitch. They say it all the time. It's on the tip of my tongue.

[Monet X Change]

Well, can you. Can you sound it out? Make a noise?

[Jacob]

Slovenia.

[Monet X Change]

She's from Slovenia.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Oh, I think. But I think Slovenia is now Russia. I think she. When she was born, it was Slovenia, but now it's just part of Russia.

[Jacob]

I can't keep up.

[Monet X Change]

Burma.

[Unknown]

Oh, I see. Okay, it's. No, no, gotcha.

[Monet X Change]

It is. We're running out of time. Burma.

[Jacob]

Sri Lanka.

[Unknown]

Also, just to be clear, it's now called Myanmar.

[Monet X Change]

Got it. Okay. Myanmar.

[Jacob]

Wow. Shady. Sri Lanmar.

[Monet X Change]

Sri Lanka. Myanmar.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I put it. It's in.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Sri Lanka.

[Unknown]

You said that already.

[Monet X Change]

I said that.

[Jacob]

Oh.

[Monet X Change]

Nepal.

[Unknown]

Back to Melania Trump. She is from a different country. That's not.

[Monet X Change]

We are running out of time. We will do this at the end.

[Jacob]

So he's saying that it's a country we can say.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, well, we need to figure it out.

[Jacob]

Jordan. Jordan. Jordan. Right. The Jordan River. Yeah, girl. I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

Kampuchea.

[Jacob]

I never heard of that.

[Unknown]

Gotcha. That's in Cambodia.

[Monet X Change]

Oh.

[Jacob]

Girl, I want to say this one. I don't sound ignorant.

[Monet X Change]

Afghanistan.

[Jacob]

Oh, yes. I want to say this one. This might be ignorant as fuck. I think there's an I in there. I began. Nistan, I think. Mongolia. Is that not a thing anymore?

[Unknown]

Nope. That's right. Mane. You got it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. 32. Come on, come on.

[Jacob]

Come on, girl. I couldn't tell you.

[Unknown]

Do you want me to give you hints?

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Okay. Do you have other friends?

[Monet X Change]

Is New Zealand considered? No, that's.

[Jacob]

No, that's. That's. Oh, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

No, it's not in Australia.

[Jacob]

Where is. Where. Wait, what's that airline?

[Monet X Change]

New Zealand's not in Australia, but it's.

[Jacob]

It's part. It's not. It's not part of Asia, though.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, what about the Pacific? Just try it. What about the Pacific Islands? What are the Pacific islands called? Oh, Fiji.

[Jacob]

I don't think Fiji is part of, like, Tonga. All this.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think those are part Tritonga. Is it. Okay, they're. Are they part of Australia? Okay, whatever.

[Jacob]

Yeah. What's the airline with the. With the. With the kangaroo on it?

[Monet X Change]

Australia Air?

[Jacob]

No, Qatar. Qatar, but not Qatar Airlines, though. There's like a.

[Monet X Change]

Well, we got Qatar. So that's good.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I think I'm.

[Unknown]

Oh, the. The. It's contas key.

[Jacob]

Okay. That's what.

[Unknown]

That is an Australian airline.

[Jacob]

But I don't know why I put Qatar in it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, well, Qatar also is an airline.

[Jacob]

Assad. Lebanon.

[Monet X Change]

And the other one is Tunisia and Africa. Tunisia. Where's Tunisia?

[Jacob]

That's Africa. That's Africa. Tunisia. Africa. What is the place where everybody goes to Abu Dhabi, but where's the country that's in?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, Abu Dhabi is in. Abu Dhabi is in.

[Jacob]

It's the popular one. Everyone goes there. Like everyone's rich and balling out of control.

[Monet X Change]

Saudi Arabia. I already said that. No, the big one. Iraq. Iran.

[Jacob]

No, the big one. Everyone goes to the Middle East. Everyone has a Maseratis. It's like.

[Unknown]

Okay, Monet, you are on the right track. But the name you're thinking of is Dubai. But that's a city in another country.

[Jacob]

Have we said the country that Dubai is in?

[Monet X Change]

Persia.

[Unknown]

You have not said the country Dubai is in.

[Monet X Change]

Is Persia a place?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Where are Persians from?

[Unknown]

Well, Persia used to. In, like, a while ago, Persia was like a large country, but now it's broken up, like, into a different thing, so it's not Persian.

[Monet X Change]

What is that big thing between Afghanistan and India? That's giant.

[Jacob]

Oh, Bangladesh.

[Unknown]

Nope, we said that already.

[Monet X Change]

This place is huge.

[Jacob]

I don't know. Do we say Pakistan?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, it's Pakistan.

[Jacob]

Oh, I thought we said that. What is. What is the place?

[Monet X Change]

We have two minutes left.

[Jacob]

What is the place? North of Afghanistan, like, all. It's one of those.

[Unknown]

I mean, I can pause it. So we're not going on a Thai.

[Monet X Change]

No, I want to do.

[Jacob]

I want to do it in a real thing. What's under Thailand? Do we say Laos? We say Laos.

[Monet X Change]

Laos. You said Cambodia.

[Jacob]

Andy did all this biking. I cannot remember. Vietnam. Laos. I know what this thing under Cambodia is. I fucking know it, and I can't remember what it is.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Kuala Lumpur. Kuala Lumpur. Okay, the song. India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan. Thailand. Nepal and Bhutan.

[Jacob]

Two separate words.

[Monet X Change]

Indonesia. The Philippines. Taiwan. Sri Lanka. New Guild. New Zealand. Sumatra. New Zealand. Born.

[Jacob]

And I have exhausted my knowledge.

[Unknown]

No, that. Let's see, that's a territory of Malaysia, but I don't know if it's gonna.

[Monet X Change]

What is the name of that place? Do you remember that queen? That. That Asian queen was like, Asia. Persuasia. She's from a. She's from a Muslim country in Asia. And it's called.

[Jacob]

Couldn't tell.

[Monet X Change]

But B.

[Jacob]

Who said Japan?

[Monet X Change]

It was called B. Yep.

[Unknown]

You're so close.

[Jacob]

Brunei. Brunei.

[Monet X Change]

Brunei. That's it. Brunei.

[Jacob]

B R U, N, E, I. Yeah. Oh, Casual persuasion from New York City.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, we have 60 seconds. 37 is okay. I want to get at least 39. Where's that big thing below Georgia, above Syria? That's giant. We should know what that is.

[Jacob]

Yeah, girl. And we're done. Oh, The United Arab Emirates. That's Dubai. Turkey. Armenia.

[Monet X Change]

The Kardashians. Armenia. Can you zoom in, Jacob, so we.

[Jacob]

Can see the Maldives?

[Monet X Change]

We miss Turkey. Turkey. Jesus Christ. Armenia. Azerbaijan. I did not know that. Turkmenistan. Uzbekistan. We should have got that one, Craig. Kyrgyzstan.

[Jacob]

Kyrgyzstan. I've never heard of Bhutan. I don't know what that even is.

[Monet X Change]

Tajikistan. The Maldives.

[Jacob]

The Maldives.

[Monet X Change]

And Bhutan.

[Jacob]

Wait, go down to the bottom. Right. Timor.

[Monet X Change]

Leslie. Yeah. I would have never gotten that one.

[Jacob]

Yeah, me either.

[Monet X Change]

We did pretty Monet. We did pretty good.

[Jacob]

That was not. That wasn't bad.

[Monet X Change]

We did well. I'm proud of you. Would your geography teacher be proud of you? Do you remember your geography teacher name? Do you want to. Do you want to give them a shout out?

[Jacob]

You had a separate draw. I had, like, a social studies teacher. I think we did geography in. I don't think we had a geography class. Did you?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, of course, Ms. Miller, then while.

[Jacob]

We talked tomorrow, realized we had such different education experiences. Like, you had a class that was. That was. You went to a thing for an hour or whatever it is. That was just geography.

[Monet X Change]

We took geography.

[Jacob]

Not us. We didn't do that.

[Monet X Change]

We also had a class called Georgia History.

[Jacob]

I know. You told me this one. That's fierce. But we didn't have anything like that.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, we had a geography class. Yeah. Shout out to Ms. Miller.

[Jacob]

Did you do all the sciences, too? Did you do, like, a year of chemistry or physics? A year of.

[Monet X Change]

No, you choose the sciences you want to do. I chose human anatomy, but you cover that in biology. We did two years of biology. Biology is all living biology. And then you zone in on human anatomy.

[Jacob]

Interesting. We didn't have that.

[Monet X Change]

So we took. So in my school. In my school, you had to take two years of biology. Everyone takes two years of biology and then you do two years of something else. And I think I did human anatomy, and I only did three because I failed Algebra one. I had to go back and do it again. So I took algebra 1 twice.

[Jacob]

Got it.

[Monet X Change]

At algebra 1, algebra 2, geometry. Again.

[Jacob]

Got it.

[Monet X Change]

How about you? What math class did you take?

[Jacob]

Couldn't tell you. Just. We just had math.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Jacob]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

Your class was not Called math. They did not put your big high school ass in class. That. This is math.

[Jacob]

It was math. And you did a Math one, Math two, Math three. Monet, we have meth. We had Math one, Math two.

[Monet X Change]

The sequel.

[Jacob]

The squeako.

[Monet X Change]

Y' all didn't do a year of geometry.

[Jacob]

No, I mean, I think it was baked into the curriculum of that year.

[Monet X Change]

The whole. The whole class was just. We had a whole trigonometry class. The whole class is just triangles. All you do is study triangles all year long, which.

[Jacob]

Why the fuck do we need to learn that in school? Nigga, teach me how to do my taxes. Trigonometry can be important, I'm sure, but not. I mean, sure, but not in really any ways. It's affecting. Affecting my life.

[Monet X Change]

That's not true. You use trigonometry all the time.

[Jacob]

Like, what?

[Monet X Change]

When you're doing your makeup, when you're sewing clothes. Actually, when you sew clothes. Trigonometry can happen.

[Jacob]

How about my makeup with trigonometry?

[Monet X Change]

Well, you're with your. If you. If you want your eyebrows to be even, which clearly you didn't take trigonometry.

[Jacob]

I know you're not talking, nigga. Then you clearly. You clearly failed that instead of algebra 2.

[Monet X Change]

Clearly you didn't learn what it means to bisect the motherfucking.

[Jacob]

The angle.

[Monet X Change]

No, you bisect shapes. You can bisect an angle, too.

[Jacob]

You can bisect. I remember that. I specifically remember bisecting the angle. I think remember that being the thing.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, we've asked this before, and I don't know if I remember, but do you remember the quadratic equation?

[Jacob]

But Jacob. Jacob. And them damn fingers looking it up.

[Monet X Change]

Click clack.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Mute. Yeah, Jacob. Mute.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob, you don't have to mute. I enjoy your little click clack. What is that? Sorry I sound so country. Oh, Zach. Hey, Zach.

[Jacob]

Can you focus on work.

[Monet X Change]

The quadratic equation?

[Jacob]

I don't know. A squared plus B squared equals C squared.

[Monet X Change]

No, that is Pythagoras theorem. It is negative B plus or minus the square root of. Of What? Negative B plus 1. Square root of B of. Help me, Monet. Damn.

[Jacob]

I just want to.

[Monet X Change]

The square root of C. No, it's like B squared over AC or something like that. Negative B plus my square root of B. B4 over AC. Is that. Is that close, Jacob?

[Unknown]

It's close. You have. Those are numbers in the quadratic alphabets.

[Jacob]

Of course it's close. Bob was like. Okay. Bob is like A, A, B, C, D. Are we close?

[Monet X Change]

No, I said Negative B plus or minus the square root of b squared over 4a is what I said.

[Jacob]

Yeah, nigga, you just saying. You just saying Alphabet. Of course you're going to be close.

[Monet X Change]

What is it, Jacob?

[Unknown]

X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of b squared -4 ac over 2 a. I want to.

[Monet X Change]

Be clear that what I said was not just letters and words. I said negative B plus or minus square root of B squared over 4ac. That is Monet said, I'm like X23, bitch.

[Jacob]

I will make goalposts. It went from am I right? To am I close? Well, I was in the neighborhood.

[Monet X Change]

I said, am I right? You act like I was so off base. And all you said was C. You said A. You said a square plus B squared equals C squared.

[Jacob]

I also said I didn't know about me. I also said it from the jump. I didn't know it. Bob would be like, am I right to. Was it close? So, like, I mean, I thought about driving my car through the neighborhood.

[Monet X Change]

Nigga, you weren't close. You're so off base. I was very close. That was very close.

[Jacob]

No, you weren't very close.

[Monet X Change]

But no, you weren't very close.

[Jacob]

And I said I didn't know it.

[Monet X Change]

And we all agree that you're a dummy and you don't know one of.

[Jacob]

Us has a college degree.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. From a closed down college.

[Jacob]

And one of us had the college shut down.

[Monet X Change]

College that's now a best buy.

[Jacob]

Could actually finish the curriculum and get a degree.

[Monet X Change]

I can go to your college and buy a TV. I can go to where you took Math 3 and buy a flat screen TV.

[Jacob]

I could fucking go to Columbus State University.

[Monet X Change]

And take classes and run to school and take classes. Okay.

[Jacob]

I can teach your class at Columbus University. I could teach your class at Columbus University.

[Monet X Change]

Your school. Your school sells.

[Jacob]

Where is your degree from these. Where's your degree?

[Monet X Change]

This is what your school sells your degree from These.

[Jacob]

These. This is your degree.

[Monet X Change]

This is what your school sells.

[Jacob]

That's your degree.

[Monet X Change]

Your school is. Your school is a chick fil A.

[Jacob]

That's your degree.

[Monet X Change]

I can park my car where you. Where you lived, in your dorms.

[Jacob]

Materialize it. Have one, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Let's make that clear, honey.

[Jacob]

Have something of substance.

[Monet X Change]

Let's make that clear, honey.

[Jacob]

Something. You have nothing. Good day.

[Monet X Change]

Your little arts degree that got you a job at the Yale School at the Yale Club. You lose. Good day. What are you doing? Work at the Yale Club serving people?

[Jacob]

At least I have a degree. I have a degree.

[Monet X Change]

You have Nothing. You took your degree. You took your degree and said, sir, did you like ice or no, to be clear. Just to be clear.

[Jacob]

One more time.

[Monet X Change]

You took your degree and you said, do you want fries with that?

[Jacob]

No, I never worked in a restaurant. You did. You were serving food and you said.

[Monet X Change]

Do you want fries with that kitchen.

[Jacob]

Smelling like grease, smelling like fries, smelling like burgers, while I sat at a.

[Monet X Change]

Front desk and you smelled like servitude at a front desk. You were in the slave quarters, honey, working with people.

[Jacob]

You were. You were back there shucking grills and cleaning grills.

[Monet X Change]

You worked in the slave quarters.

[Jacob]

Burgers, honey. Wasn't me, baby.

[Monet X Change]

They made you tap dance for your money, honey, baby.

[Jacob]

Cuz I had a degree, honey.

[Monet X Change]

They made you put on your suit.

[Jacob]

And tie, I think at opera companies around the world. What did you do? Made smoothies.

[Monet X Change]

I've worked in opera company.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Children's theater.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Wow. Oh, wow. Portland. Portland Opera. For. For miners, honey.

[Jacob]

I worked with Portland Opera.

[Monet X Change]

That's your flex.

[Jacob]

Portland Opera. Portland Opera is one of the big opera houses in the country, baby.

[Monet X Change]

That was one of the biggest ones you could get into.

[Jacob]

And which one could you get into with your art?

[Monet X Change]

I don't sing.

[Jacob]

Art for children in Tuscaloosa, Minnesota, whatever.

[Monet X Change]

The hell it was. The Tony award winning Berkeley Repertory Theater.

[Jacob]

Tuscaloosa.

[Monet X Change]

Just to be clear, the Tony award winning Berkeley Repertory Theater, Is it your Tony?

[Jacob]

I thought so. Materialize your Tony.

[Monet X Change]

And what does broly Opera have?

[Jacob]

Materialize your Tony.

[Monet X Change]

What award does Portland Opera have?

[Jacob]

Let me google your Tony, baby.

[Monet X Change]

Let me google Portland Opera awards real quick.

[Jacob]

Let's say with the Minnesota Opera, baby. I'm saying with the San Francisco Symphony, baby.

[Monet X Change]

Same. And I did it before right here in Lincoln Center.

[Jacob]

Have you ever performed there? No.

[Monet X Change]

And you're not opera award. And to be clear, I sang with the San Francisco Symphony before you did. Just to be clear, you sang.

[Jacob]

You did not sing with them.

[Monet X Change]

I sang.

[Jacob]

You did not. What did you say?

[Monet X Change]

I phonated. I sang.

[Jacob]

What'd you sing?

[Monet X Change]

A song I wrote, by the way.

[Jacob]

What you sing called Sandra Claus.

[Monet X Change]

Available on Spotify.

[Jacob]

I would love to see that recording. Is that what you're.

[Monet X Change]

Is that what you need to do at club? I conducted. I conducted.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah. Successfully, I'm sure I conducted.

[Monet X Change]

And your parking lot degree, your best buy degree, didn't get you there before me.

[Jacob]

And you never could.

[Monet X Change]

And it didn't get you there before me.

[Jacob]

Two things I. Okay, so here's the thing. I could do what you did. I could go and not finish, or I can do that. I could also finish. So I can do both. You don't do both.

[Monet X Change]

But you know what you can never do? You know what you can never do? Perform with a San Francisco Symphony before me. You will literally never be able to do that. You can do both. I just want to be clear. I could go and get an opera degree. You will never be able to perform with the San Francisco Symphony before me.

[Jacob]

You can't get an opera degree. You never will.

[Monet X Change]

You can get one. I can get one.

[Jacob]

You definitely cannot.

[Monet X Change]

If you could get one, I would.

[Jacob]

Love to see it.

[Monet X Change]

You know, I don't want to waste my time, but I just want to be clear.

[Jacob]

I would love to.

[Monet X Change]

What I know for sure before end this podcast. What I know for sure is you will never be able to perform with a San Francisco Symphony before me.

[Jacob]

And what I know is that I can go and drop out of school if I wanted to.

[Monet X Change]

You could. You could.

[Jacob]

I wouldn't, but I could.

[Monet X Change]

You could, but you couldn't make it if you did.

[Jacob]

I wouldn't, but I could.

[Monet X Change]

You could, but you wouldn't make it like me if you did.

[Jacob]

So easy to do, but you.

[Monet X Change]

Just to be clear, if you did, you wouldn't make it like me. Cause the tea is.

[Jacob]

Many have attempted and did what you did. They went to school and they dropped out, but many have not finished.

[Monet X Change]

But to be clear, many have tried to do the things I do and will never let me show you another thing you'll never have.

[Jacob]

It isn't what it is, baby.

[Monet X Change]

Hold on. Hold on.

[Jacob]

It just is what it is, baby. I can do both. I can do both.

[Monet X Change]

Now, the moment you have one of these from the University of Georgia, then talk shit to me.

[Jacob]

No, we're here. We're here.

[Monet X Change]

This. Caldwell to dq.

[Jacob]

The same award that Eureka, o' Hara and Shangela have. What a flex.

[Monet X Change]

Caldwell to dq, Shangela and Eureka.

[Jacob]

Great company.

[Monet X Change]

Where Jane Fonda has great company. Jane Fonda great company.

[Jacob]

Hallelujah.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, does Jane Fonda have a Peabody? Does Jane Fonda have a Peabody? One of those old white ladies has one.

[Jacob]

Because. Because an old white lady has one. That means Spears.

[Monet X Change]

No, it's because she is a remarkable actor thing because does not have a Peabody. Now, one of those old white ladies from that 70 from that Brady Brady 76. One of those old ladies has it.

[Jacob]

So maybe if you need an old white woman to legitimize your career, that's good for you. I don't need that Sorry.

[Monet X Change]

Let me. Let me find out. Let me find out who I'm. Who I'm in.

[Unknown]

Lily Tomlin.

[Monet X Change]

Maybe it's Lily Tomlin. Maybe it's Lily Tomlin.

[Jacob]

To quote gorilla. Ugh. Ugh.

[Monet X Change]

To be clear, Monet, the distinguished people that I'm in company with.

[Jacob]

If you need an old white woman to make you feel good about yourself, I love that for you.

[Monet X Change]

And who's the old white person that gave you your degree? Who's the old white person that gave you a degree?

[Jacob]

I love that for you, baby.

[Monet X Change]

But answer my question, though. Who's the old white person gave you a degree?

[Jacob]

I don't know about me and my degree.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, there's nothing.

[Jacob]

The old white choir college actually is one of the operas and one of the opera music education school has a very pret. Large black. You're stuttering.

[Monet X Change]

Because you're lying. So does your dean. Is your dean now the manager of the Best Buy?

[Jacob]

I don't think he was. Dean Annis was not a manager of the Best Buy. But maybe, maybe, maybe you can look it up. Maybe he is.

[Monet X Change]

I'm. I'm. I'm just wondering. I just want to be clear. University of Georgia, baby.

[Jacob]

Yeah. You stick. You, Shangela and Eureka celebrate that. I'm so happy for the three of you. And I will great company.

[Monet X Change]

But just to be clear, you will never have one Great company. Do you agree to that?

[Jacob]

Great, great, great company.

[Monet X Change]

Answer the question.

[Jacob]

I don't know if that's true. Maybe I will get one. Who knows? I am so much younger than you. I have way more. I have way more time.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna say right now on camera, if Monet ever has one of these, I will eat this camera.

[Jacob]

You're on the twilight of your career, so you have to do these things. I have way more time than you.

[Monet X Change]

I'm just gonna say it one more time. If Monet ever, ever has one of these, I will eat this camera way.

[Jacob]

More time than you ever.

[Monet X Change]

You.

[Jacob]

Shanjan. Eureka. Enjoy that. I'm so happy for the three of you.

[Monet X Change]

I am enjoying it.

[Jacob]

I know you guys turned it out. I'm so happy for you guys.

[Monet X Change]

Well, listen, I wait for the day to eat my camera. I'm very excited about it, and I hope.

[Jacob]

And I do. Do you want salt? Salt and pepper on it? Some hot sauce.

[Monet X Change]

And here's something you'll never have. This.

[Jacob]

Some hot sauce.

[Monet X Change]

This I'm about to show you.

[Jacob]

Hot sauce.

[Monet X Change]

This I'm about to show you.

[Jacob]

I'll season the camera before you eat It.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'll see whatever you want me to. I'll put mustard on it.

[Jacob]

Mustard, economy, that you hate. You'll put it on there.

[Monet X Change]

If you have one of these with your name on it.

[Jacob]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

I will drench the entire camera in mustard and eat it and eat every.

[Jacob]

And eat every molecule, every circuit, every.

[Monet X Change]

Chip, the lens, the cords, the little dangly. This little dangly thing that's attached to it. And I will save this camera for all eternity. I'll give you to the end of your life. And I will say this. If I pass away before you get this, you can force feed it to my corpse.

[Jacob]

So you want me to commit a crime for a bit. I will be doing no such thing.

[Monet X Change]

We know you commit a crime if you sew eyeliner. You'll do this.

[Jacob]

I sure would.

[Monet X Change]

If you would steal eyeliner with your degree.

[Jacob]

Degree that you don't have and you never will.

[Monet X Change]

People that you don't have, because you never will.

[Jacob]

Because you will never have a degree.

[Monet X Change]

Here's the thing. A lot of people have a degree.

[Jacob]

Because you never have a degree. So is everyone is doing. Why didn't you finish it?

[Monet X Change]

How many people have this?

[Jacob]

Was it too hard? Were you tired? What do you think the reason was?

[Monet X Change]

Not everyone can afford to finish college.

[Jacob]

Well, you could afford now, and you could. It was expensive. Yeah, but you could afford it now.

[Monet X Change]

But to be clear, how many people have the one you haven't?

[Jacob]

You couldn't.

[Monet X Change]

Are you gonna answer my question?

[Jacob]

It takes a specific skill to be. You know, to finish school. And I know not all of us can do it.

[Monet X Change]

Now here's the question. What are you gonna do when I get my college degree? What are you gonna eat if you.

[Jacob]

Eat a college degree? Oh, you know, I will if you go to an accredited university and get a bachelor's of arts and degree. I will eat this iPhone. This very one. This iPhone, this iPhone 15 Pro Max.

[Monet X Change]

Y' all timestamp this motherfucking video because I. I promise you that the day will come. Monet won't eat the phone. She will not do it. She will not follow up on her word. But I assure you the day will come. And I hope that ifo. And what condiment should we dip yours in? I want.

[Jacob]

Ooh, I want. On my. I'll put. You know.

[Monet X Change]

No, I was just. I want aioli.

[Jacob]

Okay. No, you chose mustard for you. You chose mustard for yourself.

[Monet X Change]

Slathered in a.

[Jacob]

So I'm gonna choose mine. I'm gonna put mine in with ketchup. Ketchup makes everything taste good. Not even ketchup. Catsup.

[Monet X Change]

This is going to be the most delicious. It's gonna be called the one where Monat Ate her iPhone Pro Max.

[Jacob]

It's not gonna happen. Cause you and y', all, you're not gonna go to school.

[Monet X Change]

Stay tuned. It's gonna be.

[Jacob]

It's really hard.

[Monet X Change]

Brilliant.

[Jacob]

It's very hard to do it. I don't think you're gonna do it.

[Monet X Change]

It's gonna be brilliant.

[Jacob]

Props to your mama.

[Monet X Change]

I have nothing to say. I'm happy. I can't wait for this day.

[Jacob]

It's gonna be so good. Props to your mama.

[Monet X Change]

Ooh. It's gonna be.

[Jacob]

We can't wait. Sissy to eat. The camera with the mustard slathered on it. The chips, the cords, the bips, the bops, all of it.

[Monet X Change]

I have another say. It's gonna be a good day.

[Jacob]

Thank you for coming to my show to talk about my degree. I'll see you next time, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

Obviously, it's gonna be a great day.