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My name is bob the drag queen.
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And I'm monet x james.
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And this is sibling rivalry. On this week. We talk about Monet's problem with drooling.
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We talk all about glamour.
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And we find out what made Monet say this.
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I'm like, under the table, fucking dancing, trying to pinch my dick. I was like, I have to. I have to pee. And we find out what made Bob say this.
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For five years, you've been shitting on people from Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi. And it is time. And you know what? I was told recently that when the Civil Rival tour goes to Atlanta, they said, monet bet not be on it.
C
Oh, oh.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh.
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Okay. Every time you do this and you're like, monet, my voice. And then the people call to your voice, you need to. You need to go.
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It's a rare condition this day and age. Did you read any good news on the newspaper page? Love it. Condition on a grand design. Some people say it's even harder.
B
Harder to find. Well, there must be somebody new inside Egypt.
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Somebody new. Is that the lyric? I think it makes sense.
B
I always imagine Full House and Family Matters.
A
Well, often people do that. Full House is. Full House is step by. No, that's step by step.
B
Which one came first? Full House and Family Matters. Cause one of them jacked the other. They're so similar, the songs.
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I think in the 90s, a lot of people were just having songs that kind of just sounded like that for theme songs.
B
I know that might have. We might need to scrub this for. So we don't get demonetized, Jay.
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As if my singing is going to clock gonna trigger.
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Cause I wanna play it really quick. Because, Bob, they're so simple. Can you queue up Full House? I'm queuing up Family Matters.
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I don't have on my phone with me.
B
Oh, never mind. I guess I'll just do all the heavy lifting.
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How does Full House go?
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Right? They're so similar. This is Family Matters.
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Oh, that little.
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Okay, that's that. Let's do Full House. Remember that, Bob?
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Yeah. Full House. That was Full House. No, that was Family Matters.
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That was Family Matters. See? Yeah.
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And Full House was. As days go by, it's the bigger love of the family. No, that was family manners, too, Girl,
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you can't even find a Full House theme song.
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Oh, my God. Not the conspiracy theory.
B
Oh, there we go.
A
Not the multiverse of madness. Not the multiverse of madness.
B
Okay, bitch, give us the thing. Oh, whatever happened to the licky de dee?
A
No, whatever happened to predictability. Whatever happened to predictability? I think you said, whatever happened to my Jayla? Gee.
B
Okay, so there it is.
A
Whatever happened to that nigga Kenny G?
B
Okay, Bob. Well, so when we went to the View, okay, first of all, the fucking All Stars. This All Stars press has been amazing.
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It's crazy. This is. But there was a cartoon release today. Did you know about the cartoon?
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Yes, I knew about it.
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Mateo voiced it. Mateo Lane voiced the cartoon. I did not know anything about this. I know who didn't voice it, y'.
B
All.
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Also, they came Dirty Viv got three seconds of cartoon time, and they hit this bitch in the teeth with a baseball.
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The Viv said, and she was done. As fast as my phone crossed the screen, she was done, girl.
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And you're done.
B
But shout out to Michael Fabiani and the fucking Viacom press team. They were so great. Michael Fabiani got us some really major things. They really did the damn thing. I was on the View for the third time. I was like, yeah. I wanted to walk in there and be like, yeah, where Megan at? Where Megan McCain at?
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Up in this bitch.
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But she obviously not there anymore.
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Because of you.
B
They really.
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Because of you.
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But it's a really dope stuff. But so on the. On the View, they had. They wanted to sing. To sing, to lip sync to Born this Way because, you know, a bunch of gender queer people. Born this way. Yeah, whatever, bitch.
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They.
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And you know, I have bops to Born this Way in the club. I have gotten my life to Born this Way.
A
They put the. And then.
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So they want us to lip sync, and we're like, we don't know the words. They put the words for Born this Way. I was like, how is Lady. How did Lady Gaga escape cancellation? You mean? A little problematic.
A
The Orient part. What other parts?
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Orient. Something about cholas, this and that and the other. I'm like, none of those things. She is.
A
You're black, white, beige. You're Lebanese. No matter black, white, or beige, chola or Orient made. I'm on the right track, baby.
B
It's giving. No. Raja was like, I'm not saying Orient on tv. She was like, that's offensive. And I was like, work. And then none of us are Latinx. I was like, I don't know. I was just like, I'd rather not. I was like, I'm not coming on the View and being canceled again. I was like, we're not doing anything that was gonna put me in the vicinity of cancellation.
A
You know, it's so interesting how often people are like, I can't believe we never had an Asian winner of a drag race. And I'm like, bitch, the third winner of Drag Race is fully, fully Asian. I saw Raja at DragCon, and she is so cool. I don't know how else. I did not know how. She's just so cool. Like, she has aged perfectly. She just is so awesome. I was in awe. I've always been in awe of Raja, and I just. She's just so great. I fucking love her.
B
I love Raj. Ra' Jah is, like, during filming, like, Raja. Literally, what she said, she's just so cool. He just had this airbotta that's just so dope and so vibey and, like, and they. Your favorite word. And then so they had this one point during the press, so we were all so tired, and she just, like, always, like, cracks the right jokes, and she's just so beautiful and so sweet and so kind. I fucking love Ra'. Jah I love Rajah so much.
A
Yeah, Ra' Jah is. Ra' Jah is the definition of been there and done that. But she's still so, like. She's done everything from, like, Tyra Banks makeup to working the Runway. She's been on, like, three or four TV shows.
B
Top Model.
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Top Model Sue Tan, killing the game. And she's just. She's epic. I love. This is not a Raja Stan account. Sibling rivalry is now.
B
You better unstan, bitch. For the next 12 weeks, you better unstan. Yeah, Talk about some Roger Stan account. I'm about to jump through the screen and fucking yoke your ass up. It's a Rajasthan account. Stan her after the show.
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You're ridiculous.
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You know what?
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Five.
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You know what? You know what you once said? You're not Ride or die. You know what? I'm actually starting to believe you. I'm actually starting to believe. It's starting to math.
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You need to get with Maya Angelou. When people tell you who they are, believe them. Believe them. I told your ass from the get. From the get.
B
Yes.
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You stay in Georgia from the get. Do y' all say that?
B
That's not a Georgia thing. That's not the Georgia. That's not a Georgia thing. Only you don't know.
A
You don't. First of all, you don't know where. You don't know if it made it to New York. You don't know how it got there. You don't know how it got there. You're not the queen of etymology. You're not the queen of the history of words.
B
Neither are you so because you say so, we just believe you?
A
Well, just because you negated so from the get. So. So you tell me New York was saying from the get.
B
Get from the get. We used to say. Oh, no, sorry. We used to say from jump. That's what. That's what New York say from jump.
A
So apologize. Apologize to everyone in the South. Apologize to everyone below the Mason Dixie line right now. Because you. Let me tell right now, everyone below the Mason Dixie been getting a lot of shit from you on this podcast for five years now. For five years you've been shitting on people from Georgia and Alabama and Mississippi. And it is time. And you know what I was told recently that when the Civil River Tour goes to Atlanta, they said Monet better not be on it for all that shit she said about Clayton County. They said, let Monet show up in Clayton county and see what happens. Walk down. Walk into Jonesboro and see what pops off. Go to Riverdale. I dare you.
B
I will walk up in College park in Columbus, Georgia, and I'll be.
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College park is not in Columbus. College park is like an hour and a half from Columbus, Georgia.
B
Well, wherever, whatever. I will walk down the Morrow street in Columbus, Georgia, bitch, I'll be fucking Crip walking on y' all niggas. And what the fuck is y' all niggas gonna do, son? Georgia ain't about it, son. I'm from New York motherfucking city. Know that. Believe that.
A
You have three cities you're banned from. You can't go to Atlanta because of.
B
Not anymore, honey. My bestie.
A
I'm talking about me, bitch. Fuck Tamisha me. I'm the reason you can't go to Atlanta, bitch. You can't go to Chicago right now. Where else are you banned from, nigga?
B
You can't go to Chicago either. Them niggas, all of the Vixens and the Kool A's, they gonna square up on that ass.
A
Kool A loves me. Me and Shay are great. Great, honey. But I've heard about the behind the scenes tea with the drama that you and Shea had on All Stars 7. Oh, yeah, the rumor mill's going around. I've heard about the altercation. Oh, yeah, you thought I didn't know. Cause you thought I didn't know. I've heard about the altercation between you and Shea. The one that didn't make camera because they got so outta control and crazy. They almost had to shut down production because you almost got whooped. Yeah, you almost got Slay Kool Aid on that day. And when they released the pictures of you crying, when they released the pictures of you crying, everyone would know it was because you got Kool Aid. Kool Aid out.
B
If y' all believe that, I have a bridge to Terabithia that I wanna sell y'. All. Y', all, Bob is trying to start some drama.
A
It won't make the air because it got too. It almost got. I have sources on the ground who told me that you almost. All I'm saying is that you almost got knocked out. That's what I heard.
B
You know, Shay listens to this podcast, and Shay often corroborates your nonsensory with me.
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Listen, all I'm saying is you better be glad they had security on set that day.
B
Bob, look, I'm wearing my favorite shirt of yours. I still have the shirt I thought
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about putting on my. My first Monet shirt. Your pre Drag Race shirt with you dropping the money.
B
Oh, my God, I love that shirt. You know, I bought. Do you remember this shirt? You allegedly have sold out of it, so I had to go online and buy it for my. Well, you didn't have any on you because this is when you and Luis are working, and Luis is like, I don't have any more of their sizes. So I had to go online and buy this with my own hard earned tifting dollars. Or anytime you want something from mine, I give it to you for free. Like that motocross look.
A
Well, if you want to shirt now, all you have to do is go to Target. You can go to any Target, any in the nation and find a Bob the Drag Queen shirt there in it. And by the way, this is the cheapest merch I've ever had. It's $15. I have never had a shirt that cost $15. So you can go to any Target in America and pick up your very own Bob the Drag Queen merchandise for just $15. I have a question. Do I know what happened exactly six years ago today? I have no clue.
B
Okay, hold on, hold on. Let's do some math. Six years ago would be 2016.
A
Oh, yeah, I know what happened today. Yeah. Six years ago today, the finale of Drag Race aired, and I won Rapal Drag Race.
B
Oh, really? On May 16, 2016.
A
Yeah, girl. Six years ago today, your boy won Drag Race.
B
Congratulations. How do you feel like. Do you feel like your life has gotten better or worse?
A
My life has gotten better exponentially. And I am very grateful to Drag race and to RuPaul and to my fellow contestants and to all the designers who helped me actually I only had two designers help me on Drag Race. I had two designers on Drag Race. That is.
B
Oh, we know.
A
Shut the fuck up. It is crazy to think that I won Drag Race with two designers. I mean, three if you count myself, that is. Imagine a girl. Actually, that's not true. If you. Oddly, one drag.
B
I mean, Jada is tall.
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Yeah, one.
B
You're right.
A
Well, but she's a designer. I'm a bitch that can. That can kind of sew, like for a. For the average person. I have great sewing skills, bitch. For designers. For drag. Designers for drag designers, bitch. I am a basic sewing bitch.
B
But no, I think that. Listen at this. So that means at this time six years ago, I was at Pieces Bar, crying. I was like. I was like, boohooing. Cause you won. I was very emotional when you won.
A
And I was. Oh, my God, that's so funny. I was in Midtown crying, and you were in the West Village crying. We were crying at the same time.
B
I know. Look at us. I said mine were real. Cause y' all know Bob. Y' all know what? Bobby crying. Bobby putting on. Bob, don't really be crying. That nigga be putting on for the cameras.
A
There's not that much footage of me. There is quite a bit of footage of me crying in the world these days.
B
Literally, though, we're here.
A
You're a nasty monkey, bitch.
B
Remember that time you called me a stupid looking Saint Bernard? That was so offensive.
A
You remember the time you went on. Seriously, do you remember the time you went. Where were you at where you called yourself a Saint Bernard? There was some video. You were like, I'm like a Saint Bernard. It was the Pit stop. It was the Pit stop. You were like, I'm like a Saint Bernard. And I was like, wow, interesting. Oh, yeah.
B
Cause yeah, yeah. Kind of like how black people reclaim the word nigga. A word that was used to make them feel so small and less than human. Yeah, I reclaim Saint Bernard.
A
Who are you with you? I'm like a Saint Bernard. And I was like, this is interesting.
B
I don't remember who it was. Maybe it was. I think maybe Laganja Estranga.
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It's because St. Bernards are so charming and they're so cute.
B
Bob. To sell again. You're on this. You're trying to sell bridges today and no one's buying them.
A
And also, Saint Bernards drool a lot. And Monet drools a lot. Monet be drooling. Yes, you do.
B
When's the last time you saw me drool, Bob?
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It doesn't matter when you drool a lot, bitch.
B
Monique, that's not true. I have a boyfriend.
A
Call Andy right now.
B
Ask Andy if he's ever seen me drool.
A
Jacob, run me my phone. We about to call somebody for sure and find out if you drool.
B
Who you calling, though? And where is your phone? Just,
A
hey, Google, where's my phone?
B
Everyone who's listening to the podcast, like, oh, my God, stop saying hey, Google. As I just said,
A
because you drool. Monet. There's nothing wrong with that.
B
Ask Andy, someone who has been with me steadily for the past 10 months.
A
I knew you steadily for the past
B
eight years, and you can't tell me the last time you saw me drool.
A
You couldn't find the phone? Yeah, it's not ringing. Maybe you left it in the car. No, it's not the car. It's in my fanny pack. It's fine. But anyway, I have a person who I. I know for a fact who's around you a lot that knows for a fact that you drool.
B
So why would you call Andy? I'm gonna call Andy myself and ask him.
A
You call Andy and I'm gonna call my source.
B
I hope he doesn't say something crazy when he answers the phone.
A
What's up?
B
You drooling? Oh, wait, why is my name. Wait, Andy. Hold on, hold on. Andy, can you hear me correct? Yeah, you're currently on the podcast. I have a question for you. Have you ever seen me drool? Like, like, just like. Like not sleeping? Like, have you ever seen me stand up, just talking? Somebody drooling? Like, spit coming out of your mouth? Yeah, just like, drooling. Like. Like. Like someone who drools, bitch. Like, spit just falling out of my mouth. No, babe, he's never had a stroke in front of me.
A
Okay, let Indy go now. I gotta call somebody real quick. Let Indy go.
B
That's it. I'll call you later. Love you. Love you, too. Bye.
A
Now watch this. And then we're gonna go to a break after. After the truth comes out.
B
Who you calling?
A
None of your business. You'll find out in a second. You better find out if they answer the phone, you better be done. Done, honey, you're done. You're done.
B
This.
A
Better answer the phone, because this person knows the realty. And this person spends way more time with you than Andy.
B
Oh, Patty. Please leave your message.
A
It is Patty, but Patty will correct if Patty's in the other room. Tell Patty to come over. You can literally call Patty.
B
Patty is in la. I am in Toronto. Patty's in la.
A
Alright, we'll take a break and then when we get back we will have a confirmed case of Monet. Monet.
B
The Bernard Monet Droulet.
A
Monet. Droulet. All right, let's take a break.
B
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C
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B
Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.
C
Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast.
B
And breathe.
C
Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.
B
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A
1-800-contacts. I played. I sent Patti this voice note. Patty, do you and I know anyone that drools? Like, can you think of one person that you and I both know that drools? Let me know. And all I got is a text message that says, duh, Monet. I rest my case.
B
Okay, Andy sees me all the time. Andy does not know the story anyway.
A
No, you. You. You're still in the honeymoon phase. You probably don't even shit in front of. In front of. In front of. And you be trying to keep it tight and right. You be trying to keep it a little nice and neat. Wait till he see your ass falling asleep on an airplane. And a half a gallon, a liter of that DNA starts dripping out your mouth. Speaking of drooling. This week, our topic is glamour, honey.
B
Oh, my God. Glamour. Okay. Do you consider yourself glamorous?
A
I do think I'm glamorous, yeah. I actually think I'm quite glamorous.
B
Yeah. I would agree. I think. Honestly, I think a lot of. I mean, unless you're in a drag queen that engages in stuff that is just, like. They feel like you're like. For example, Christine is not a glamorous
A
drag queen, but she's intending to not be, though, you know?
B
Right, right, right, right. But a lot of drag is glamorous. I consider myself glamorous, too. I love feeling glamorous. I feel like glamorous is a nice place to be. I feel very sexy. I feel very, very. What's the word? I feel glamorous, I guess. I love being glamorous. I don't like being glamorous all the time. Like, pageant glamour. Like, I could not imagine without.
A
Don't let Monet see this until it goes on the Internet. Post the picture I'm holding in my hand on the screen right now so the world can see the truth. In fact, I'll let you see Monet. Yeah, that's you, nigga. That's you.
B
Oh, my God. Okay, that's one shot of me drooling.
A
Find a picture of me drooling. Bob.
B
I never said. I never.
A
Here's the thing.
B
I never said I don't drool. You said, Monet, you drew. No, no, no, no. You said. You said, monet, you drool all the time. I said. And I said, I don't draw all the time.
A
No, you be drawing.
B
And you said, monet,
A
you are the Scooby Dooby Doo of drag.
B
Robbie, Ruby, Rube. I don't see. I would not like to be, like, pageant glam all the time. Like, queens. Like, that's, like, their baseline. They're always, like, pageant, glamour, drag. I could not say all the time. That sounds their name. Like, Angeria is always. She's very glamorous drag all the time. I feel like Roxy Andrews is. Roxy Andrews is high glam. Like, every. Roxxxy Andrews always has, like, perfect hair. She always has, like, the big, ornate jewelry. What is going on?
A
So you're saying that. You're saying that Roxxxy Andrews and Angeria are only capable of glam and they can't do any other kind of drag?
B
Oh, my God.
A
Is that what you're saying?
B
It's not what I said.
A
I just want to know if that's what you're saying.
B
No, that's not what I said.
A
Okay, okay. It sounded like it. Go ahead.
B
But I just could not imagine, like. Like Roxy's. Roxy's level of drag, I would not be able to. To sustain. I could only do it sometimes.
A
It's not sustainable drag.
B
Oh, my God. So you think.
A
You don't think Roxy's green and she's killing one kind of drag? Monday you are. Ever since you had a fight with Shea. Cool a. You've been walking.
B
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
A
Here, here's.
B
Oh, here. Here we go, y'. All. Bob, are you in town on the 30th of this month?
A
Why? What are you about to ask me to do?
B
Asking you in town on 30th?
A
No, I will not be. I'll be filming.
B
We're here. Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna go see. I'm gonna go see. We're gonna go. We're planning a trip to go see the Vegas show. Me and some of the.
A
Don't try to belittle my. Don't make a spectacle of my feelings, you mustard bitch. Don't make a sense.
B
Why gotta be all that, though? Why gotta be all that?
A
You could have just been like, bob,
B
what are you doing on 30?
A
Now you gotta be like, oh, everyone sees. I'm asking. I'm inviting Bob. And why. And why am I the last one to get the invite? So everyone already. I'm the last one. So the rest of y'.
B
All. Oh, my God, this is insane.
A
My question is, who already got the invite?
B
Just me, Patty Kim. That's a lot of people. You are fucking ridiculous.
A
Just me, Patty Kim, Plasti Gottmik, Violent Chachki, RuPaul, Michelle Visage, Jeffrey Voyer, Chapman. That's it. No one else.
B
To be fair, those people are on the group chat with me. You're just not.
A
I'm busy.
B
Glamorous bitch. Do you think you can. Could you beat Roxy Andrews every day if that was your baseline? Every day? It's fully stoned, like, body, like coiffed hair. Could you do that level of glam every day for your drag?
A
I mean, I'm sure I probably could. It doesn't speak to me. I don't think I have the. What am I looking for? The. I don't think that is a kind of drag that I would aspire to do. I really like. My baseline drag is very. Someone's aunt who has a little bit of money. Like, aunt with no kids who has a disposable income. That's my baseline drag. What would you say is your baseline drag.
B
My baseline drag is like streetwear. Like, streetwear. Like banji glam.
A
Okay, I see that. But there's glamour. I think there's glamour in both those things. We just said there is glamour in that. It's just not the extreme. Because when you talk about glamorous drag, drag itself is inherently glamorous. But then when you get to the opulent, the opulent version of that, it gets really wild. Like, really fucking wild, you know?
B
Yeah, yeah, it gets. I'd agree.
A
Like that look Angeria's wearing for the finale, that massive.
B
Oh,
A
like, she must have left that in. She must have left that in la, right? Or in Vegas.
B
Like, assume it was probably in pieces. I would assume it's in pieces.
A
And left in Vegas, it was, like, up for auction. Like, you can't go home with that shit.
B
I assume it's probably in pieces. Probably like six different things that, like, come together to make one thing. So it could probably fit in, like a flat box.
A
Honestly, I will say my most glamorous drag that I do these days is mostly on We're Here hair. When I'm on We're Here, I'd be in some, like, in some J. Rags.
B
I agree.
A
Rags. I'd be like, this is. This is what I am looking wild up in these drags, up in these drag queen streets.
B
Yeah.
A
And when I'm on, when I'm doing stand up comedy, I tend to not wear padding or corsets because I want to be able to be really physical. I'm up there for an hour or more, telling jokes, standing the entire time, moving back and forth. I want to be able to get down, get up, crawl around and not have to sacrifice my mobility.
B
Bob, I've seen you do hour long, two hour long shows, flipping, worming back, flipping, dipping in corsets.
A
But I didn't know back in the day, back in New York City, before Drag Race, I would never wear corsets at the shows. I was just so skinny, I didn't have to. I used to wear the shapewear, the kind that snaps, the rubbery shapewear. But I am no longer skinny enough for me to pull that look off without a corset. But back in the day, I used to wear just like a little cincher instead of an actual corset. But I would wear pads, though, because pads don't really stop my mobility. It's the corset. It's really the corset.
B
Oh, no. I have to. When I'm getting drag. Unless I'm wearing, like, a balloon or a tent. I have to wear a corset or I just don't feel like I am. I just feel like I look crazy. But also, because I've also transitioned to. I don't wear padding anymore, so I have to wear the corset to bring my waist in to give me more shape.
A
I. I mean, I didn't. I didn't wear a corset at. Also on June 9, you guys can check out. I have some standup going on on Netflix on June 9, so check that out, please. But I didn't wear a corset there. I was also hosting it like this. I was, like, emceeing the whole show, so I wanted to be able to be comfortable and back and forth. And if anyone see me. If anyone see me at any one of my comedy gigs lately, I usually either wear, like, one of the, you know, those coats that I wear. I can put a picture up here so you all can see the coats. But because I'm wearing the petticoat underneath, it makes the waist look tinier.
B
Yeah, yeah. Speaking of glamour, did you see Gia Gun suite?
A
What did she say this time?
B
Gia Gunn tweeted about DragCon. Say what you want, but I saw zero beauty at this year's DragCon. What happened to the Glamour
A
Zero beauty? She's like, there was nothing. No one at DragCon was beautiful girl.
B
Apparently, Gia is wild girl. Gia Gunn. She will perpetually just shove her foot into her mouth. She just does not care.
A
She's very. I don't want to say polarizing, but she's inflammatory.
B
Yes, very inflammatory.
A
Yeah, she makes a lot of inflammatory. But I think she. I think at this point, she's doing it kind of like. Kind of like what's his name used to do Charlemagne the God. Like, he knew he was being inflammatory.
B
I don't think so. I think Gia Gunn is. Is really just unaware.
A
I think there was. I thought there was lots of glamour at dragcon, personally, and it's glamour in different ways. I thought Diabetti looked very nice at her booth.
B
I thought Angeria looks great.
A
Angeria looked very. Oh, my God, Lawrence Chaney looks so good.
B
Carmen Farrala, she was. She is so beautiful in person. Like, in person, she looks so pretty. That's my favorite part of DragCon is when we all. We. We all lined up to do the Queen's Walk. And, you know, now it's like all these different franchises. Bitches who are in America, bitches you have never seen before. And it Was like a fierce yearbook in real life, like, it was like, everybody back there. It was so cool. I got to hug all the girls. I got to see everyone and touch them and say hello, spread the droplets. It was fucking great. You get a chance to see. So fun.
A
Kahmora Hall's finale look at dragcon. It was so good.
B
I did. She did the bodysuit, but she got it airbrushed.
A
Yeah. She did a green screen suit, but it looked so. I thought there was a lot of glamour at dragcon this year. I thought there was tons of people who looked quite. Eureka had a very impressive booth. It was like.
B
I didn't see it.
A
It was called Eureka's Castle. And Eureka was a knight.
B
Like the cartoon?
A
Yeah, she was a knight.
B
I mean, like the show.
A
Yeah, she was a knight. And then Buffet, this drag queen, Buffet was the dragon. Honestly, very impressive. I was like, this is a. This is maximum effort. I love maximum effort.
B
The concept of Symone's was really dope how she had the museum. But what was really cool was she had a part with the wigs, like five wig heads, and it was all really crazy wigs she wanted to show. Then she had another portion with her step down gown so you could see it in real life. So that was really dope that she did it that way.
A
So she had a whole segment called. She had a whole segment called Gigi's nigga Wigs. Was that a segment? Was it called Gigi's Nigga Wigs or what was it called? I don't remember. What was it called? Tell me.
B
I don't know what it was called, but it was not called that.
A
Oh, okay.
B
You had like. We've never called them nigga wigs.
A
You're like, this is the first time on this plate where you said that Gigi be doing nigga hair.
B
She tweeted saying that it makes her feel uncomfortable.
A
But is she really?
B
Yes.
A
Wait, she tweeted? No, she did not. I would.
B
I would have been.
A
Yes, she did. I would have been tagging this tweet a thousand times if Gigi had a tweet that said, please don't say I do. So Gigi tweeted and said, please stop saying I do nigga hair. I. I doubt it. I don't think Gigi put nigga in a tweet.
B
But she put. But. But she put the soft E. The soft A. Not the hardy R. Shut the fuck up.
A
I know you'll fuck up. I'm actually. I really. I think he's really cool. I'M glad that finally, finally, like, some queen did, like, a museum inspired thing at DragCon, because it was really smart and it was probably the best.
B
I can't tell if you're being cute or not. Are you being funny?
A
No one's talking about how. Like, let's talk about after the break. After the break. So we're back. No one's ever done something like that with, like, art and, like, museums and, like, the Samoan. It was really smart. And if anyone's done it, it wasn't done as well. And I can't remember it.
B
You are such a fucking troll.
A
What troll?
B
The drag queen.
A
What? What?
B
Bitch, you know that. That's what I did. I did Patty and I fully did a museum and it was big pictures of my. Of me in the museum.
A
Oh, I forgot. I forgot.
B
Such a fucking troll.
A
I completely forgot that you did that. Cause it just. I don't know, something about the way it's. Simone did it. It was really good.
B
Anyway, so I went. So we did the. We did the.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Did you see the video of Ru forgetting Jinx's name?
A
When I say. I was screaming. I was talking to this one. And your name is Jinx. Seattle. Seattle.
B
Seattle. That's right, Seattle.
A
When I tell you that, I will only be referring to her by the name Seattle. From now on, bitch, you're Seattle. From now to the end of time, your name is Seattle. You're Seattle.
B
But, girl, listen, Bob has reviewed a couple seasons of Drag Race, and Bob can't even remember no name. We were up on reviewing Drag Race uk, calling everyone but their names. Okay? So I can only imagine RuPaul, who has now done 14American seasons, seven All Stars and like, six international ones. Like, girl, I would not know anyone's name.
A
Did I ever tell you that country people, country black folks call people by where they're from? So it makes sense that RuPaul would call her Seattle, even though RuPaul's not. RuPaul's from California, but she spent time in Atlanta. Her folks from Louisiana. But you kind of get this. Country black folks call people by where they're from. My mother was called Mississippi, but my father's side of the family all called her Mississippi.
B
Okay, but what if everybody's from Mississippi? Then what?
A
I mean, it's usually not that many folks from Mississippi living in Georgia. Not a whole. Most folks in Georgia are from Georgia. It's not like. It's not like New York City, where everyone is just like. I mean, there are obviously lots of people From Mississippi and Georgia. But my mother, by the way, all of my mama's siblings were from Mississippi, but because she was the one they knew from the family, they just called her Mississippi
B
Miss Ippy work.
A
No, it's.
B
It's.
A
People from Mississippi call it Miss Mississippi.
B
Mississippi. That's what I said.
A
Yeah. But of course it's pronounced Mississippi.
B
M I, S, S, I, S, S, I, P, P, I. So that morning, we did that press thing.
A
Cricket letter, cricket letter I. Cricket letter, cricket letter, I. Hump back, humpback. I. That's what we say in Mississippi.
B
Yeah, that's probably part of the problem. Anyway, so we did that pressing that morning, and then we. We did a bunch of stuff, and then as soon as we got done with our panel, bitch, I got undressed. Bitch. I almost had another. Another fucking season 10 moment pissing myself. We're at the panel, right? And then. So we're at the panel T.S. madison asking questions. Everybody is, like, answering so long. And I was drinking those fucking House of Love cocktails when I tell you I was getting schwasty. So I was sitting there, I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like, I have to pee. I have to pee. I'm trying to hold the pee. I'm, like, holding the pee. I'm like, oh, my God, I can hold it. I'm holding. I'm, like, under the table, dancing, trying to pinch my dick. I was like, I have to. I have to pee. So in the middle of Jinx Answer, answering her one of her questions, I was like, everyone, I have to pee. I'll be right back. Patty runs with me to the bathroom, and I have to go pee, But I almost fucking piss myself. I almost bombed myself.
A
I can't wait for this panel to come out. Everybody say house of love. Everybody say house of love. Would you like a $75 cocktail? Come on down to the House of Love.
B
Is it expensive?
A
I'm just assuming. I don't know. Oh, did you hear about Canada season two panel?
B
Oh, yeah. There was some drama with the Canada Season 2 panel.
A
Did you hear about it? I saw it, girl.
B
Oh, tell me.
A
It was. It was. It was giving very Shea Coulee versus Monet on the set of All Stars 7. It was crazy.
B
You are crazy. I was going to say right now. Bob is literally making that up. Do not.
A
When it comes out. When it comes out. Y' all know that I'm not lying. How about that?
B
And because I am insane to happen. All the.
A
All the.
B
All the fucking Bob fans. Which. What are Your fans, all the bobbleheads.
A
Mm.
B
They're going to start. They're going to start perpetuating this ridiculousity that never happened.
A
Also, we, as a group, we are very annoyed and upset that you're already trying to silence Shea Coulee. So we know that if Shea, if she does not come out and speak against, it's because you intimidated her, you bullied her, and you did not want her to tell her truth. So if Shay does not speak on it, we know that Monet the bully has something to do with that.
B
Anyways, I'll tell you about the drama. I didn't see it. What happened?
A
So one of the girls for Adriana was apparently saying some. Said some, like, racially insensitive. I think I might be wrong. Said some racially insensitive things. And the queen. What was the other queen's name? Seattle. No, I'm kidding. Because. And then Kimora.
B
Edmonton, Edmonton,
A
Calgary. And then Kamora was, like, not into it. And then she basically. So Kimora's black, Kamora's black, and Adriana is white.
B
Oh, God. Okay.
A
And her name might not be Adrian. I think it's Adriana. Is that her name, baby? Jacob's looking it up. Yeah, Adriana. Anyway, so they were going back and forth, and then it got to the point where, like, and, and, and. And. And Maddie TS Madison is just like. And she's like. And then handlers are coming out. Other drag queens are on stage being like, y' all need to. And it was. It was getting.
B
Wait, wait, were they gonna, like, fist fight?
A
I don't think it was getting a fist fight, but it was to the point where, like, they were. They were just talking over each other and screaming back and forth, and it. It could not. It was not going to calm down. So people started being like. Like, we need to. It was a whole thing.
B
I have an idea. Okay, how do you think about this? Should we start Drag girl's house? And we get. When I tell you, some rowdy ass drag queens.
A
They can't all be Monet. They can't all be you.
B
Some rowdy ass drag queens and put them in a house a la bad girls club and just see what happens? Well, you know, actually tried.
A
The only time I know of an actual. Actual confrontation was apparently, and I'm not breaking this news. Was when Alyssa Edwards punched Trinity, she choked Trinity. Trinity talked about this on the tour. I'm not breaking this story on stage. And this is what I remember from the Christmas tour. Whenever Alyssa was walking off stage and Trinity walked On Trinity kept yelling, please don't hit me again. Am I lying or is that true?
B
I don't know.
A
Monae, you were there. Jacob, did you. So what happened was. I don't know what happened. Wait, you gotta pause that, baby. You gotta pause that. It's like a double thing up there. All I saw was when on the tour, whenever Alyssa would walk off stage, Trinity kept going, please don't hit me again. Please don't hit me again. I'm not. I'm just telling what. What I saw in the show. What Trinity said on a 40 city tour in front of a lot of people.
B
Yeah, but so they said on stage, Bob, this is civil rivalry. We got a lot of people. This, this. They gonna clip this part, put it in Reddit. It's gonna be a. Jason, our social media guy, gonna put it on TikTok, Facebook, Twitch, stream.
A
Well, Trinity said it. Trinity said that. Trinity said that Alyssa punched her.
B
Well, I wasn't there. I was not there.
A
That happened. I wasn't there either. But were you on the tour where Trinity said it? Were you not on that tour? Because I was audience one day.
B
Well, maybe if it happened on stage, I'd probably change it for the next thing. I don't remember. I don't.
A
I never heard Trinity openly acknowledge that she got hit by Alyssa. With your lying ass. Say it. Right, Say you never heard Trinity say that with your lying ass. Nate, you are a lion, as you are lying through your veneers.
B
Anyway. Oh, my God. What are we talking about?
A
Why I can. The way you will say face is fake. You are fake ass. Monet knows good and damn well everyone in the theater heard Trinity say it. She said it out 40 times in 40 cities. And I went back then. I said, trinity, I said, trinity, did Alyssa really punch you? She said. She said, yes. And I said, how does she feel about you making that joke? And she said, well, she doesn't like it. She said she hates it, but I'm gonna keep saying it. I said it. I said it. Do take nerve.
B
It do take nerve.
A
Anyway, I'm not breaking the story. I'm just re reporting it.
B
So wait, back to dragcon. So we did that, and then I walked around and then I. Oh, so when we're doing the Queen's Walk, this is what happened. We did the Queen's Walk and I walked in the back door with like. Like, it's like fucking, like. I don't know how many fucking queens at this point. They're like a hundred. Some odd queens sending the thing So I walk through the door, and literally, as I walk through the back door to get into where all the queens were, I see this. This queen in a blonde human hair wig or blonde wig, and it's like, yellow suit. And I looked at her from my right, and I'm like, oh, my God. In my mind, I'm like. I go, that's Tamisha. So I look at her, I'm like, I look at her, she looks at me. I'm like, hey. And just so we have. This is my first time ever meeting Tamisha. I look at her, I said, hey. And she says, hello. I said, I'm Monet. I was like, you're Tamisha, right? She was like, yes. I was like, bygones be bygones. And then she was like, yeah. And then we hugged each other. And then that was it. I was like. I was like. I was like, you look great. And I was like, this suit looks really dope. I was like, what kind of stuff? You know, you should make a small talk. I was like. I was like. I was like, this is nice. I was like, what kind of stones are those? Knowing full on. Well, the crystal ab. I was like, this looks nice on this. It's very cute, which you really did. But, you know, making a little small talk. And then that was. And then I swung by her boob.
A
What is this? Fabric? This is nice. What is it? Fabric.
B
And so then after that, then I swung by her boof later on, and we did that video I posted on my social media. But, yeah, it was really nice. She was so sweet. Tamisha was so sweet to me. So nice. Very kind.
A
Can you ask her to unblock me on Instagram?
B
I'm. Bitch, I think I'm still blocked.
A
Since she's so sweet, can you please ask Tamisha to unblocked me on the gram?
B
I'm pretty sure I'm still blocked. Yeah, I'm still blocked.
A
Yeah.
B
But I don't think Tamisha. I don't think she probably didn't think to unblock me at this point. So whatever, you know, it is what it is.
A
I'm so mad you left me out to dry on this Trinity shit. I'm so mad you left me out to dry, bitch. I am in the wind, naked and afraid.
B
Also, I love how you wanted. Well, was your intention to be inconspicuous to drag con because Bob is fully dressed like fucking John the Baptist. You're in white from your neck down to your toes with a big red hat, sunglasses. I was like, if this nigga is trying to be inconspicuous. He was the most conspicuous nigga I've ever seen.
A
And everyone can be like, I see you being inc. I was. This is how I dress all the. I dress this way all the time. When I was inconspicuous at drag, I wore a clown mask, a clown costume. You saw the time I was being inconspicuous. That was me being inconspicuous. But I kept saying to myself, well, if people are gonna take pictures of me at DragCon, I want to look nice in the pictures.
B
So I wore.
A
And I dressed in an outfit that I felt very, very nice in.
B
Roark. But why didn't you go see Tamisha?
A
She wasn't there.
B
Okay.
A
I went to. We went to. We went out to every booth, girl. Every booth. To me, it was. It was the last day. And I think a lot of people either weren't there or. Or also a lot of people we swung by to see were at panels or doing stuff. So a few people we went by at the time we went to go see them, they were not there for whatever reason.
B
Got it. Yeah. I remember. I didn't go to see everyone, but I went to see. I went by Tina Burner. I went by Monster.
A
Monster.
B
You go to Tina's booth.
A
Absolute monster. Absolute monster. I swung by Tina's booth, and then Tina cornered me and was like, put me on your podcast. I was like, I would love to have a podcast. She goes, no, I need you to. I need you to commit to a time and a date to have me on your podcast. And I said, tina, we'll figure it out. So then, Tina, I'm trying to leave, and every time I try to leave, she starts yelling, it's Papa Drag Queen. Everyone, look, it's Bob the Drag Queen. And then she won't let me go. Is literally holding me, holding me. And then I'm, like, trying to leave, and she walks with me, but as we're walking through, she keeps pointing, screaming, oh, my God, it's Bob the Drag Queen. Everyone looks over, and she's like, it's. Look, everyone. And she's like, when will I be on the podcast? Have me. Give me a date. Give me a time. Confirm it.
B
Did you give her a time in a date?
A
I told her tomorrow at noon, but, bitch, that was. I was trying to get the fuck out of there.
B
Got it. Damn. I would love to have Tina on the podcast.
A
That was mad. I was like, you are a monster. Absolute monster.
B
Are you sad that you didn't do dragcon?
A
No.
B
Same Bitch, when I tell you I am. I am so happy I had to die to the dragcon, especially after that press week. I was like, bitch, I am so excited. I get to go home and fucking sit on my couch and fucking play video games and jerk off. I was like, this is great.
A
Would you like to one day stage our own little pop up meet and greet somewhere?
B
Oh, we don't have to commit to
A
doing what I'm saying. Does that speak to you?
B
I think that could be really fun, actually. I really would enjoy that. Our own little thing.
A
We could do a pop up meet and greet to sell our makeup. We could do a pop up meet and greet to a pop up.
B
What do you call it? A pop up shop.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah, we could do that.
A
Sibling.
B
I would love that. Sibling.
A
What?
B
Connery. Oh, I was like. I was like, Jacob. I was like, Jacob. Hold on a second. Sibling watery. I heard coonery.
A
Okay, Jacob did not say. Jacob did not say sibling coonery.
B
Y' all heard that, right? Y' all heard that?
A
Jacob did not say that. What we did hear was a slap that Shea Coulee gave you. The slap heard round the world that we heard. But she slapped the shit out of you.
B
Are you wearing your Saks Fifth Avenue House of Bob? Honey, I thought you were gonna call on the Saks Fifth Avenue.
A
I did, but then I realized there's a company already called Saks Fifth Avenue. But I am wearing a House of Bob right now. And that's.
B
We're supposed to give you my own personalized one. Bitch, I have never. This nigga. Imma tell y' all something about Bob. Bob Lutz is like, oh, Monet, I got you with this and the other. But he told me this for months. I have not gotten anything. Not a single anything.
A
We haven't sent anyone there. I still have. We have not sent anyone. Not very demanding for a gift, first of all. Damn.
B
And not, hands down, the gift that you not.
A
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
B
Also, niggas loving. I got something for you. Then you never see it, bitch. Then wait till you. I'm gonna get it to tell me. You will see it then, bitch.
A
You will see it, bitch. How about that, honey? And I'm also very. This is how I feel about the alleged. And I saw your little leak. Talking about some. Maybe I wore Bob's sweater on. All Star, nigga. I don't care. I'm skipping that episode. That's the episode I'm not watching. How about that? And if it's your. And if it's your. And if it's your interview. Look, I'm closing my eyes every time you have a floating head.
B
It's called a talking head. First of all, get your vernacular together.
A
This is me watching every time you're in your little interview. Every time. Don't let me say that's word of nowhere.
B
Okay, then don't look, nigga.
A
I won't look, Honey, wait. Also, at this point, auction that sweater off for charity because it's not doing you no good in your closet where it resides. Probably full of moths. Give me my shit back.
B
It's not yours, first of all. Moving on. Do you think that you need a lot of money to be glamorous?
A
No, not at all. Actually, I think that money helps. Money help and makes it a lot easier and facilitates it and it gives you the opportunity to be more glamorous. You have more options for your glamour, is what I'm saying. When you have more money.
B
Yeah, I agree. But I know people who don't have a lot of money and they. This. This is. Oh, my God. What is her name? I mean, I don't want to Seattle this. Tick tock. Oh, this is going on tick tock. Her whole thing is being. Is being fierce on a budget. And she be turning it out. I don't know.
A
She. Is she tall, skinny, short? Black, White.
B
Black girl. She has. She has short dreads. It looked like it was blonde and it was growing out, so it's like dark roots. Blonde, black girl. On TikTok.
A
I am. I am not on glamour TikTok. I am mostly on rap TikTok.
B
Rap talk.
A
I'm on. I'm on rap talk. I'm on dog talk.
B
Okay. You like dogs, don't you?
A
I like diddy. I don't want a dog in my. Or in my home. I like looking at videos of dogs. Yeah.
B
What if Andy and I have a proposition for you? I think we'd like to give you Andy's dog.
A
I feel like this has not been run by Andy. This feels like a kidnapping. That's what it feels like. So until I hear from Andy, I will not entertain any offers or propositions.
B
Well, would you? So what if Andy is into it? Would you consider it?
A
We will cross that bridge when we get there. You know, Andrew and I, we have each other's phone numbers and we talk so Andy can tell me this of his own accord. How about that?
B
You hinted at this a little bit, but what do you think is your most, like, your most glamorous look? What look was the Pinnacle of your glamour.
A
I think my most glamorous look is probably the finale, the opening of the Colorado episode of we're here. We have a picture right now.
B
The gold.
A
Yeah, we have a picture of it right now on the screen. I think that that is my most. My most glamorous thing I've ever, ever worn. It is so opulent, really so massive. It is a really beautiful piece.
B
Hmm. Yeah. I love that. It is very glamorous. It's very beautiful. You looks really stunning.
A
This dress is designed by Domino Couture for We're Here, and it was for the Colorado episode. It's the season finale of season two. So go check it out. What's your most glamorous look? Mom, Wait, wait.
B
Hold on.
A
Hold on one second. Okay. I think Monet's most glamorous look is. Oh, and. And. And I met. I'm taking Monet's most glamorous. Looking at him, and I'll tell you why I'm mad at monetary.
B
Oh, my God. Here we go.
A
I'm so. This is upsetting, and I know it didn't happen, but you tried to make it happen, and that was shit.
B
Is upsetting. U P S E T T I.
A
It was Monet's look that she. That. The. The. The. The kente cloth anara dress that Monet wore at the Coronation of All Stars 4. If you see Monet, she's sitting in a chair holding that scepter with her. With her blonde locks. And then you try. You tried to sell that dress, and that's so irritating. What do you want from me? It's irritating. I cannot believe you try to sell the dress. That is so. That is crazy. That is madness.
B
One of my most glamorous looks. It's coming up. I did. I did a shoot for. For this. I'm not trying to do, like, a super secret thing I did, but I filmed something, and it's the most expensive gown that I own, and I think that's my most glamorous look. But y' all people haven't seen it yet. It's gold. Oh, my God. Mine is gold, too. Should we both wear our expensive, glamorous gold looks together?
A
You can do that. I'm glad you're so funny. It's a look that y' all can't see and we can't talk about. You are a piece of work.
B
But they'll see it very soon. It's my most expensive one.
A
You could have just said the other thing and then that could have been the answer instead of can you give an answer of something they can see, please?
B
It's a teaser.
A
Give an example of something we can actually put on the screen.
B
My most glamorous look. I would say, honestly, my All Star. No. Yeah. My all stars 7 promo look, I think that's very glamorous. It's not like a ball gown, but I think I look very glamorous.
A
Oh, work. Do you want to talk more about it? This outfit was put together in less than two days. Yeah.
B
Dominic Couture made that outfit in two days. Cause the original designer was supposed to make that look. Literally, the day that I was leaving to go to New York, he showed it to my house, and it was not up to par. It did not look very good. And I called Bob freaking out. And Bob and I were going to Chicago together, and I showed him the gown, the dress that the person made it, and he was like, no, you can't wear this. So I hid Domino up, and Domino's already making my winner winter chicken dinner outfit. And then I got to New York, and he put that other one together in, like, two days. It was crazy.
A
Yeah. I mean, so I think it's very interesting that Domino has made both of our. We should have Domino on the podcast sometime. She is wild. Y'. All, Domino is one of the most interesting people I have ever met. And let me explain to you what it's like to have a fitting with Domino. Either you're in Domino's house, or Domino comes to your house, or we're here. You go down to the workroom. Domino is eating flaming hot Cheetos. There are three drinking a Coke. There are three or four half drunk Diet Cokes. I mean, Cokes around the room. So he'll start drinking some Coke, and then, like, halfway through, he just forgets. And then he opens up a.
B
He starts doing Coke.
A
Did not say that. So. So there's, like. He's always drinking the Coke, eating, like. Like, he also. He has, like, no sense of smell, so his taste buds are also affected. So he eats really spicy and very sour. Everything is very spicy or very, very sour. And also he's gonna. He's gonna show you a YouTube video, an SNL clip. Mm. And he has this long, long red hair. A long, red Mohawk.
B
Yeah, Mohawk. Yeah. Shaved on the sides.
A
Yeah. And Domino is just. Domino is one of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life, ever. She is wild.
B
I feel like. I feel like you often say that about you all. You often say someone is the most interesting, the strangest. You Always have these.
A
Like, I say one of the. I mean, these people are. Domino is one of the most. I mean, I would say. If I say one, I think I would say out of the probably over a hundred thousand people I've met in my life, Domino is in the top 100 of very interesting people. Where's Monet ranking at? Monet is.
B
How do I rank in terms of strange in your life?
A
I mean, you're strange in, like, your little odd monetisms, your hyper fixation on really weird things that kind of don't matter. And I'm like, okay, Monet.
B
Monet would be like, like what?
A
Monet would be, like, upset, obsessed. Like, it'll be like. It'll be like. It'll be like, we have, like, a Silver river video. And then Monet's like, okay, this font, I know that we want it Impact, but this is Impact Bold. And I prefer. Because it just looks cleaner. It's more. And then she doesn't use words. She goes, it's more like, mm. You know, Impact is more. Mm. You know what I mean? And I'll be like. And I'd be like, I don't know that it makes that big of a difference if it's Impact or Impact bold. And when they're like, no, no, no. It needs to be Impact Bold, and it has to be. And I'm like, okay, Monet, sure, pop off.
B
So you think I'm weird because I have a very nice eye for aesthetic and design.
A
No, it's your obsession over it. You'll be like, it's your obsession over the Impact bold versus impact. Or like, we were preparing for the tour, and Monet is like, I think that we need to. Like, we were talking about on our tour, which Monet and I are still planning, we were like, talking about lip syncing versus live singing and lip syncing to our song versus, like, song that already exists, other people's music. And Monet's like, I want to sing live. And I was like, you should sing live. And then Monet's like, and I want you to sing live, too. And I'm like, I will not be singing anything.
B
I don't think that's what I said.
A
But, you know, you were like, and you should too. And I was like, I'm not singing live. And they were like, no, it be good. I was like, no, I'm not. See, I have tried. I don't have the stamina. I don't have the physical dexterity. I will lip sync my songs. I'm not Singing my own songs live. I'm just, I'm just not doing that. And Monet like, but it'd be so fierce if you did. I'm like, I'm not Monet. Let it go. Monet has been trying to convince me to sing my songs live. I think for going on the. Since we announced this tour two years ago. Since then, Monet's been trying to convince me to sing these songs live.
B
That's not true. Okay, here's what, here's what my thought, y'. All. Cause oftentimes I would say I'm not doing something and Bob like, Monet, just try it and then I'll try it. And then I'd be like, yeah, I'm still not doing it.
A
I'm like, you know what, Bob?
B
You are right. That's all I'm asking, Bob. I'm like, bob, just try. He's like, monet, I know. I don't want to.
A
I have told you I sang purse first live in London.
B
I was looking a long time ago. That was like five years ago.
A
I am far less fit now than I was five years ago, ok? I was winded, breathing, sweaty, heavy, bald headed and confused on stage trying to purse first and bitch, I know I can't. I know I'm not Beyonce and I know that I cannot do that shit. I didn't go to school for opera. I don't have the control. Okay?
B
All you had to learn is just, it's just a little circular breathing. Girl,
A
can you silence your phone, please?
B
I know I just silenced it, but
A
Monet's like, just do. I'm like, I have done it, but I have done this before. I have tried to be a little live singing diva and girl, I don't have what it takes. You know who's really good at it? Ocean Kelly.
B
Ocean Kelly. Todrick too.
A
Todrick is bananas. That's. That's inhuman.
B
Like, I was like, I can't. If I, I, if I would be one of those, I can give you like a papa, but I need to be right here. I can't, I can't, I can't.
A
I was watching Anything Goes Tony Award performance with Sutton Foster and I was like, so good. She does a solid at least. Maybe I'm being exaggerated, but it's like two and a half minute tap routine. So she sings a song, does a two and a half minute tap routine and then belts at the end. And I'm like, how is this physically possible. After. After giving it? I'm like, this is crazy. In olden Days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking but now God knows Anything goes. Anything goes. That's a great song.
B
The world has gotten bad today and it got bad today and I'm not
A
today the world has gone bad today no, the world has gone mad today and good's bad today and blacks white today and days night today and most guys today the women prize today are just silly gigolos and though I'm not a great romancer I know that you bound up anything Just. Yeah, I may have mixed up some verses there, but those are lyrics. Maybe not in that order, but those are some lyrics.
B
That's a. Yeah.
A
Not Cole Porter Spitting bars. Hey, yo. The world is going mad today and good bad today and black's white today and day's night today or most guys today the women prize today are just silly jigalos hey. And though I'm not a great romance I know that you're bound to answer when I propose Nigga, what? Anything goes a. A Not Cold war spitting bars A
B
lot of them were.
A
Do you know what? Andrew Lloyd Webber. You literally could never. Andrew Lloyd Whack ass nigga. Yeah. No one's calling out Angel. You ain't Tim Rice. You ain't Tim Rice.
B
Oh, my God, you're ridiculous. I was watching. Was I watching?
A
I heard that Angela Weber slapped the out of Cole Porter.
B
I. I was watching.
A
Oh, did you ever watch Cadillac Records with Beyonce? No, I did not. What? With Beyonce, right?
B
Yeah, with Beyonce. With that scene when she walks on the stairs and she goes. No, I haven't seen her.
A
Oh, you mean Beyonce when she plays. Wait, who's. No, no, no. She plays Etta James. You mean Beyonce's Etta James in the blonde wig? Where the. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I haven't seen her.
B
Anyway, I think they need to reexamine that movie because people like to shade Beyonce. Beyonce did a really good job acting in that film.
A
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, what do you mean? Re. Are people out here acting like Beyonce's not a good actor? Is that a thing people are doing?
B
Yes, Bob, Yes. People love acting like Beyonce can act.
A
Okay? Beyonce was great in Dreamgirls.
B
Agreed.
A
Beyonce proved that she has camp in Austin Powers.
B
Huh?
A
Beyonce proved that she is the jealous wife in. What was that one? Obsessed.
B
Obsessed.
A
No, no, she's the wife of a. She. She's the. The fighting wife. How about that?
B
Yeah, the wife of. She's a wife. The husband is cheating on her with them. With a mistress.
A
No, the. No, the Husband is obsessed with her. With her. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. He didn't. No. The husband has this girl who's obsessed
B
with him, but he had an indiscretion with her. Like, they, like, they did. Like, they, like, groped or touched or kissed or something like that. And that's why she got super obsessed. They definitely had something that happened in the movie.
A
To quote Simone, n eating ain't cheating. That's Simone.
B
And then in Cadillac Records, she plays. You know, because Etta, you know, she had addiction problems, and she did a great job. I think it's really great work. People love to stay beyond that.
A
You can't be great in every single role. Does not mean you're not a good actor. You know, casting is as casting. Proper casting is as important as good acting. And Beyonce was. And if you don't. If you only look at one film, go look at Dreamgirls. You cannot tell me Beyonce was not brilliant in that movie. You can't say it. She was very fucking good in that movie. And honestly, if you. If you, like, compare that to her work in Austin Powers, she was great. Do you ever hear the story that.
B
Yeah.
A
That maybe this is a private story? I don't know. Maybe. I can't remember if the story was told publicly or privately, but Matthew Anderson, Trinity. Matthew Anderson did makeup. No, Trinity said it on stage in front of thousands of people. I just want to be clear about that. Matthew Anderson did Beyonce's makeup for early
B
Matthew Anderson, who is RuPaul's ex makeup artist.
A
Yes, did. Did either her makeup or touch ups for the Austin Powers movie. And he said that Beyonce was, like, sitting in a chair getting her makeup done. And then he just came to, like, to, like, touch her up, and she just, like. She just, like, just starts crying. Like, she's just. Is like. Like, she's like. Like, not, like, sobbing, but, like, tears are rolling out her eyes. And he's like, are you okay? And she goes, I'm just so tired. I'm just so tired. And then he goes, do you need a moment? And then she goes, no, I'm great. Let's go.
B
Do you think that's real?
A
I don't think Matthew would lie about that. And that is kind of iconic. If she's like, I'm just, like. She's on the, like, crying, saying, I'm just so tired. And then he goes, we can take a break. And then she takes a deep breath and goes, all right, let's go.
B
You ever hear, like, people who are, like, that tired and you like, in comparison to, like, the tired. Think about the times when you felt that tired. Do you think? And obviously, everyone has their own threshold for tired and pain, whatever. But do you think that at your most tired moment, do you think it compares to how tired Beyonce has felt in her life when she was brought to tears? You know what I'm saying?
A
There have been many times that I've sat down at this microphone, and you pop up my screen and I go, I'm tired. I don't know that I can do another day of this because of who I'm working with, you know? And it says a lot about. It just depends on. So I don't think anyone has ever been as tired as I've been working on this podcast. And I've done so many things in my life. International tours, I've done. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bob, are you okay? Music videos, I've done. Oh, my God. But when I sit down across from this drooling ass bitch.
B
So strange. You're a strange cookie,
A
Mo. I feel like this freckle on my nose. It feels like it's new in the past, like, 10 years.
B
Oh, that's not good. Where? Well, because we're on the thing. It's a little blurry. I can't really see.
A
Right. There's a freckle.
B
I can't really see it. Still. So blurry.
A
Drag my connection. Drag my connection.
B
Your connection been dragging you for the past year or two. You live in this house. Your connection is dragging you.
A
Okay, first of all, everywhere I live has bad Internet. I'm starting to think it's me. Everywhere I have ever lived. Hasbro. It's bananas. In fact, we'll talk about the next episode. Internet connections. We gotta go, Monet.
B
Oh, my God, we should have won. About the Internet. Ooh, the next one. Also, I posted on Twitter. I was like, give us suggestions for future episodes. And we got some really great suggestions. So we'll take a look at that. We can do some of your suggestions.
A
Someone else posted, and you just took their post.
B
So obsessed. Who's our touring company? They posted it. And then I quickly retweeted.
A
I said, so someone else posted.
B
Well, under. Well, under obsessed. I had, like, three responses. And then I, quote, tweeted it and said, hey, this is a great idea. Any suggestions? I've got an onslaught of them. So let's talk about what you have done. What have you done for the podcast? What have you done for the podcast?
A
Internet. What?
B
What have you done for the podcast, Bitch?
A
What? Jacob, we did the one about it. We did the one about the Internet already. Oh, what have I done with the podcast?
B
What have you done?
A
First of all, bitch, I came up with the idea of this podcast. Bitch, I birthed this. Bitch, please. I edited. Yes, I did. And you acknowledged that. I edited the entire first year of podcast with my own hands.
B
Yeah, that's cause you had nothing to do. Nigga, I was busy. I was on an. I was. I was busy being on an Emmy award winning TV show. Okay, I was a little busy.
A
Okay, we did 13. The first.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bob is acting like we had. Thank you, Jacob. We had. Bitch, we have 13 episodes. You had 365 days to edit 13 episodes. You could find some time.
A
I was doing eight shows a week. Eight shows a week, each show three and a half hours long, while I was performing at the Tony Award winning theater.
B
Yeah. Award winning theater.
A
Yeah.
B
But you know what? They won that Tony for Annie. Not for Angels. Angels in America.
A
And also, let me tell you right now, baby, you would have never been on an Emmy award winning show if I. If my season hadn't won y' all that Emmy. Bitch, we was the first season to ever win the Emmy. Never forget that. Never, honey.
B
Oh, my God.
A
We launched this shit. Honey, your.
B
For your season. The first season to win an Emmy was season nine. It was not season eight.
A
That is inequivocally false, Monet. In fact, I can't wait for this to play out.
B
Go ahead, monetize the first season of Drag.
A
Just look up Drag Race, Emmy's wins. Can't wait for this. Oh, this is gonna be so delicious. Oh, this is gonna taste so good. Yeah, Monet, please, come on. Keep searching. Yeah, yeah. Go to the next website because you're Wikipedia.
B
There we go. I don't know how to even find. Well, how do you find what it is?
A
Look up Drag Race. Emmy wins. Drag Race, Emmy wins. This is gonna be so good.
B
I'm on the Wikipedia, everyone. This is now 24.
A
I am erect right now. This is so exciting. I can't wait. Oh, this is gonna be so good.
B
This is gonna be Primetime Emmy Awards, Outstanding Makeup. What year was your thing? I don't know. What year was yours? It doesn't say season eight. It just says the year. So I don't know.
A
What year Was that monetary?
B
2015.
A
That was their first nomination. The first nomination was.
B
They won in 2016.
A
That's the year that I was on Drag Race Monday. You're welcome. You're welcome.
B
You remember that's true. We'll do some digits.
A
You remember how the top of the podcast we said six years ago today. What's 22 minus 6? Monet. What's 22 minus 6? Monet is 16. So, yeah. I would say that my season.
B
Please.
A
Was the first to win an Emmy. You're welcome.
B
You're not Mitch Marino. You cannot whack. You're not Princess Lockeroo, honey.
A
Yeah. My drag daughter is the number one whacker in America. What is your drag daughter doing? Let's talk about Lisa Carr. What was your drag daughter name? What's her name? The one you let go of, the one you abandoned. Yeah. You used to have a drag daughter. Oh, you have. Oh, you forgot about your drag. You forgot about your own.
B
I never had a drag daughter. Who is my drag daughter?
A
Monay, we're gonna go. But you never had a drag daughter.
B
I had short change and petty cash.
A
No, no, no. Before drag race, Monet, you would never had. I cannot wait for this orphan child to come forward and drag you and expose you. Cause you did have a drag daughter. Yes, you. Oh, you are a horrible mother. You are a horrible mother.
B
Oh, bitch. I saw one of your kids and she said. She's like, do you know? She's like, do you have Bob's number? I've tried calling him. I tried.
A
Oh, I'm gonna get.
B
Oh, I'm gonna get us in the video. And then I saw her at the bar and then I was like, oh, baby, maybe I was like, baby, maybe you have the wrong number, bitch. To my shock, when she opened her phone and I said, oh, this is the wrong.
A
Who? You are full of shit. Who?
B
Oh, don't worry. Oh, that means that's the next video coming to Patreon about how you are a wayboy mother who had just left your children to waste.
A
And can Monet's estranged drag child please come forward and call out your whack ass mama?
B
Anyway, we have to. I'm reporting you.
A
Goodbye, everybody.
B
Goodbye.
C
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Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Theme: A hilarious and lively dive into “glamour” in drag and pop culture, packed with personal anecdotes, sharp banter, and industry tea.
In this episode, Bob and Monét do what they do best: serve up sharp wit and raw honesty while tackling the concept of "glamour." They share recent Drag Race adventures, break down what glamour means to them, and throw in stories ranging from on-tour brawls to the etiquette of drooling queens (yes, really). With their signature back-and-forth and some spicy call-outs, this episode sparkles with inside jokes and sincerity alike, making it a must-listen for drag fans and casual listeners alike.
(00:04–00:53, 14:39–17:37)
(20:04–24:46, 24:57–25:49)
(03:25–06:38, 28:06–45:13)
(07:24–13:42, 38:20–40:53, 41:12–43:13)
(24:46–28:11, 49:41–54:38)
(48:04–49:41)
This episode is a perfect showcase for the sibling-esque chemistry of Bob and Monét, blending inside drag scoop, debates on aesthetics, and sharp-tongued shade. The journey through “glamour” is as much about personality and resourcefulness as it is about sequins and coins. Throughout, listeners are left with an appreciation for the artistry and hustle of drag—and plenty of laughs.