The One About Grudges

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: The One About Grudges

Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen

Release Date: October 6, 2021

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Episode Overview

In this candid and highly entertaining episode, Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dive deep into the theme of grudges and resentments—from petty annoyances with friends to more profound issues tied to family, religion, and race. The duo, renowned for their raw honesty and signature banter, dissect personal experiences with holding grudges, confronting friends, religious trauma, and navigating relationships across cultures. Expect unfiltered opinions, witty anecdotes, and the kind of hilarious back-and-forth only Bob and Monét can deliver.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Technical Struggles & Daily Annoyances

• The episode kicks off with both hosts describing their chaotic internet and charging situation while traveling.
• Monét describes “the charger tango”—the frantic act of switching one device for another to keep everything powered on the go.
  • “My little laptop charger is charging every device I own right now…” – Monét [02:22]

2. Petty Grievances: Retail Woes and Resentments

• Monét tells a story about trying (and failing) to buy a charging mat at Walmart and feeling resentful at the retail giant.
  • “Yeah, resentments against Walmart.” – Monét [03:41]
• Bob adds: "Everyone should resent Walmart. They're fucking crazy." [03:44]

3. Race, Language, and Podcast Backlash

• Discussion about receiving criticism on social media—particularly from white listeners—regarding their casual use of the “N word” and jokes about race.
• Both make it clear: if listeners are uncomfortable, they don’t have to listen.
  • “If you don’t like when I use the N word, I’m talking to you specifically: Nigga, shut the fuck up and resent me.” – Monét [05:00]
  • “If you don’t like that, then don’t listen. This is not the vaccine—there is no mandate.” – Monet [04:44]

4. White Boyfriends & Racial Consciousness

• Bob and Monét riff on being called out for calling out whiteness, even while dating white partners.
  • Bob shares Asia O’Hara’s jab: "Wait, isn’t your boyfriend white?" [07:12]
  • Bob: "He’s certainly not exempt." [07:16]
• Monet emphasizes: she couldn't date a white person who is naive to American racism.
  • “I don't think I could date a white person who didn't understand that America has an inherent systemic problem with racism.” – Monet [07:25]

5. Faith, Upbringing, & Religious Resentments

• Both reflect on how Christianity shaped—and damaged—their early emotional lives.
  • Monet: "I cannot date a Christian...if you're Catholic and you're like, 'Oh, no, I'm actually eating the body of Christ,' we can't fuck with each other." [08:10]
  • Bob: "I have a lot of resentments towards Christianity because it’s a big contributor to my emotional fuck-up scene." [09:48]
• Discussion of growing up religious, parental expectations, and their current boundaries with religious people and practices.
  • “If it is real, I’ll hate it even more. Like, I’m not hanging out with y'all niggas in heaven.” – Monet [11:47]

6. Friendship Grudges: The Patty Video Game Incident

• Monét opens up about drifting apart from a close friend due to unresolved issues.
  • “We just kind of moved on, and we really just more or less live separate lives now.” [15:04]
• Hilarious and heated debate over an incident where Patty, a non-gamer, was annoyed when the group gathered just to play video games.
• Bob challenges Monét’s handling of the invite; Monét pushes back, feeling unjustly blamed.
  • "You sent a text message to the group inviting Patty…to do an activity you know he doesn't do." – Bob [18:03]
  • "So the other option is let's just not hang out with Patty, everyone?" – Monet [18:34]
• Demonstrates how minor annoyances can lead to long-lasting (if minor) resentments among friends.

7. Forgiveness & Holding Grudges

• Differences in holding grudges: Bob admits to carrying the memory of slights, even if cordial afterward; Monet sees hers mostly in relation to family.
  • "If you did me wrong... we can be friends afterwards but I’ll never forget that behavior.” – Bob [25:52]
• Monet: “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies.” [48:20]
• Both agree forgiveness is not owed to everyone, and that letting go is often for oneself—not others.

8. Family Wounds & Deep-Seated Resentments

• Monét discusses lifelong resentment toward her father and the pain it causes.
  • “Honestly, my resentment for my father is not good for me. It has caused me nothing but hurt and pain my whole life.” – Monet [48:23]
  • Explores complicated family dynamics, addiction, and longing for closure and amends.
• Bob reflects on estrangement from his own mother, June, and on his half-brother’s struggles due to family dysfunction.

9. Race, Institutions, and Dating

• Fierce breakdown of resentment toward whiteness as a system—not individuals.
  • “...the reason whiteness is able to be what it is today and flourish how it is—it is at the detriment of every other being.” – Bob [54:45]
• Bob and Monét discuss anti-interracial dating sentiments from their childhoods, pushing back on problematic sayings like “if she can’t use your comb, you can’t bring her home.” [57:25]
  • “I don’t think that dating a white person diminishes my Blackness in any shape, form or fact.” – Monet [56:48]
• Promises of a future episode on interracial dating.

10. Petty Resentments: Bob’s Cat, Colleen

• Monét humorously rants about his "grudge" against Colleen, Bob’s hairless cat.
  • “Colleen's scratched me more times than I’ve scratched you—and I've known you for almost nine years.” – Monet [29:25]
• Hilarious roleplay about sabotaging each other’s pets, used to discuss when amends are necessary and possible.

11. Making Amends & How to Move Forward

• Discussion about what it actually takes to mend friendships or relationships after a breach.
  • “If you don't see it as anything wrong and you’re not willing to get my toilet fixed, get me a new fridge...we’re gonna have a problem.” – Monet outlining minimum requirements for reconciliation [37:31]
• Both hosts highlight the need for acknowledgment, genuine effort, and sometimes just closure over full reconciliation.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On who podcasts are for:
  “This is not the vaccine—there is no mandate. You don’t have to listen to this fucking podcast.” – Monet [04:44]
• On Christian upbringing:
  “I have a lot of resentments towards Christianity because [...] it is a big contributor to my emotional fuck-up scene.” – Bob [09:48]
• On systemic racism:
  “...the reason whiteness is able to be what it is today and flourish how it is—it is at the detriment of every other being.” – Bob [54:45]
• On grudges in friendships:
  “I don't typically really hold grudges. Sometimes I just don't fuck with people, but I don't personally align that with a grudge.” – Monet [24:54]
• On forgiveness:
  “I don’t think everyone deserves forgiveness. I do think that forgiveness is good for you…and resentment, it really is bad for you.” – Monet [48:09]
• On Blackness and interracial dating:
  “I don't think that dating a white person diminishes my blackness in any shape, form or fact. There is no one on this planet who can diminish my blackness.” – Monet [56:48]

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Important Timestamps

• [02:22] – “Charger Tango” and travel pet peeves
• [03:41] – Retail resentments (Walmart)
• [04:44] – Language and race on the podcast
• [07:16] – Dating white men and racial awareness
• [08:10] – Religious boundaries in dating
• [09:48] – Resentment towards Christianity
• [14:01–20:00] – Friendship gripes and Patty video game story
• [24:54] – Not holding grudges, but not forgetting
• [25:52] – Bob on holding memories of slights
• [29:09] – Monét’s grudge against Bob’s cat, Colleen
• [37:31] – Making amends: what’s required
• [48:20] – “Resentment is like drinking poison…”
• [54:45] – Grudges against whiteness as institution
• [56:48] – On interracial dating and Blackness
• [58:30] – Upcoming episode idea: interracial dating

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Tone & Language

The episode flows with the hosts’ trademark blend of personal candor, social commentary, raucous humor, and expletive-laden realness. They freely use Black vernacular, reclaim slurs for comedic effect and camaraderie, and don’t shy away from vulnerability or controversy. The emotional highs and lows—from laughter-inducing stories to honest, reflective moments—make this a dynamic, engaging listen.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Sibling Rivalry takes listeners on a rollercoaster through the intricacies of holding on to—or letting go of—grudges. Whether it's family betrayal, systemic oppression, or trivial friend drama, Bob and Monét bare it all, showing how humor and honesty can be tools for healing as much as for entertainment.

Essential listening for anyone who's ever wondered: "Should I really let this go?"

Transcript

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[Bob]

I started Ornod in 2013 and we make bike apparel. The best part of Shopify for me is our ability to run the business as essentially non technical people. We're able to admin everything on the back end, front end and sell things online easily. If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing that you do the thing on. We run the business on Shopify. So start your free trial on shopify.com. So the intro has been Frankensteined together. Bob is in. Well, I know you can't say where Bob is in a very not Internet friendly place. Cause the Internet is crazy where you're at.

[Monet]

I'm in a hotel and my Internet is wild. But you know what? We're here, we're filming. We're here and we are here and it's going down, it's popping off. This is a much better connection. I'm very, very happy with what we have going on Now. I am playing the charger tango. Do you ever do that where you take a device where you unplug one device and then charge the other one and you go back and forth? Have you never had to do that before? Will you leave it like one charger?

[Bob]

No, bitch. When I go, I have my little electric sack I bring that has all the things.

[Monet]

So I have this thing next to my bed at me and Jacob's place and I also have one next to my bed at me and Ezra's place. It is, it is this mat. Well, me and Jacob's, I have this mat that you just put your phone on and you put your earbuds on and it charges them overnight. And then at Ezra's place, I have this little stand where I can put my phone, my earbuds and my watch and charge them all together. And I tried to buy one here, but I went to Walmart. It was the wrong one, it wasn't working. So my Little laptop charger is charging every device I own right now. Like my headphones, my phone, my computer, my iPad. But I can use. There's always one day where I don't have something.

[Bob]

You are really living that life out there, girl.

[Monet]

Well, I went down to. I went down there to Walmart to buy one, but it was the wrong one. So I was like, girl, you know what?

[Bob]

Honestly, you bought the wrong one or they. Or they only had the wrong one available.

[Monet]

They only had the wrong one available. So it said it would charge my stuff, but it did not. And then I got back and I was like, the lie detector. The lie detector determined that was a lie.

[Bob]

So you one would say you have a few resentments of your on his most recent trip you're on right now.

[Monet]

Would you.

[Bob]

Would that be a fair statement?

[Monet]

Yeah, Resentments against Walmart.

[Bob]

I mean, everyone should resent Walmart. They're fucking crazy.

[Monet]

Monet. I tweeted out something a while back that got a lot of backlash. And, And I didn't remind. I didn't really mind the backlash. I tweeted out, I said, if it seems like I am resentful or have. It was something about white people. I tweeted that out, but I can't

[Bob]

remember the sentiment being that you have resentments against white people.

[Monet]

Yeah, the resentment, the tweet was that I resent white people.

[Bob]

I mean, and that's fair and that's valid. A lot of people, they get really mad when we, like when I posted, oh, the thing recently when you were like, Monet accused of how white Monet keeps her house of white people cold. Someone had, like, about three or four people. DM me. They were like, why do you always make everything black and white? And, like, why you guys always have to make anything about race? And I really don't like that. I'm like, well, bitch, it's not for you to like, then don't listen.

[Monet]

Were they white people?

[Bob]

I didn't. I honestly didn't check. I just saw the message. I was like, this is stupid. And I didn't look at the profile pictures.

[Monet]

I mean, that is when people come to the podcast and be like, I don't like this. I'm like, bitch, no one is like, this is not. This is not the vaccine. There's no mandate. You don't have to listen to this fucking podcast. You don't have to listen to this podcast. And especially folks who are just stumbling across it on YouTube and listen to it for free on the Internet. I'm like, y' all niggas. Not even y' all niggas, not even patrons. It's like when people tell us there's a couple people in our reviews saying they don't like that we use the N word. Like, nigga, shut the fuck up. Nigga, shut. If you don't like when I use the N word, I'm talking to you specifically. Nigga, shut the fuck up and resent me.

[Bob]

Oh, you. And I had a good idea. Monique Hart was at my house the other day, and I was on the phone with Bob, and she came over, and we were talking, and Bob was using the N word. And then Monique. I forgot. Monique doesn't like the N word. And then.

[Monet]

Which is so crazy, because you're the one that told me she doesn't like it.

[Bob]

Bob, you know, my memory. My memory is shot, girl. I can't remember what I did yesterday. My memory's fucked up. And I know that about myself. I know I have a horrible memory, and it's part of my identity, and it is what it is. Whatever.

[Monet]

You ever heard Mateo go horrible. Oh, it was horrible. Mateo always said it's horrible.

[Bob]

Cause he swear he in New Yorker. That motherfucker is from Chicago. Bitch, you from Chicago. Stay there.

[Monet]

I don't think Mateo thinks he's. I think horrible is a Midwest, considers

[Bob]

himself a New Yorker. Mateo can split him up.

[Monet]

I also consider myself a New Yorker when I was living in New York City for 12 years. But I don't think I have a New York accent. I don't think Matteo knows he has a Chicago accent. It's like a Midwest Chicago thing. I think they say horrible in Chicago. Oh, this is horrible.

[Bob]

That sounds very Bostonian, very New York to me.

[Monet]

Well, Boston and New York do not sound the same.

[Bob]

They don't sound the same, but they are similar. They are very close parallels to Boston and New York, for sure. For, I think.

[Monet]

I think the north part of America, this whole northeast corner. I mean, yeah, Northeast corner is. Have very, like. It's like. Like, I feel like a Georgian will know the difference in a Texas accent and a Georgian and a Georgia accent.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah.

[Monet]

And even Louisiana accents has, like, notes of this, like, Creole, but it's also country. But, you know, like, in Boston, like, Ty Love, get out of the con. Come over here and tell me the baba da ba, bitch.

[Bob]

Okay, I have to get into the suite. Bob said, in all seriousness, if it ever seems like I have anger and resentment toward white people, that's only because I have anger and resentment toward white people. And then I didn't see this. That Asia o' Hara said, wait, isn't your boyfriend white?

[Monet]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about this. Yeah, that was Asia o' Hara's like.

[Bob]

And Bob said, he's certainly not exempt. He's certainly not. Yeah, he's certainly not exempt. And he tweeted a picture of Jacob.

[Monet]

Also, Asia does. Asia doesn't like when I call white people out. Like, she hates it. Like, she does not. I do not know. And she's always, like, trying to, like, catch me and like, like she's gonna get me. Like, haha, your boyfriend's white? And I'm like, yeah, one of my boyfriends is white. And like, I don't think I could date. I don't think I could date a white person who didn't understand that America has a inherent systemic problem with racism. And if I was dating a white person who was like, I think America's great. I think white people as a whole are just kind of really nailing it right now.

[Bob]

Yeah. No way.

[Monet]

I would have a very hard time dating that person. I know that a friend of mine was dating a guy.

[Bob]

What about a black person that fought that?

[Monet]

I would have a hard time with that too. I would have a very. Okay, here are the things I would have a hard time dating. A Christian. Like a devout Christian. Not even devout. A person who believes they will die, meet Jesus and go to heaven. I can't date you. It's a rap. We cannot. I'm telling you, I can't date a Christian. I cannot date a Muslim. I cannot date a Jewish person who is like, deeply, like, if you are of one of the three main Judeo Christian religions and you are, like, serious about it. Like, if you're Catholic, you're like, oh, no, I'm actually eating the body of Christ. We can't fuck with each other. I have nothing. I have nothing to. We cannot share a life. We can't.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right?

[Bob]

Yeah. Could you. I could not vote. A devout Christian. I could date someone who believes that God is a thing and like. But not someone involved in organized religion or someone who goes to church every Sunday or someone, like you said, who eats the body of Christ. I'm like, I'm eating Jesus body. I mean, that's crazy. But if you believe in a higher power and you believe and you're agnostic in that way, of course I could date you for sure. Because I'm like, I just like, I choose not to believe is your right to believe that. And I. And I could absolutely. I could date someone like that for sure.

[Monet]

I think it's everyone's right to believe it, but it's also my right to be like, I'm not dating you. You know what I mean? You like my shirt?

[Bob]

Isn't this shirt so cute, you little. Chocolate.

[Monet]

Chocolate nuts, chocolate peanuts.

[Bob]

Yeah. Anyway, continue.

[Monet]

To anyone who's listening, who's not watching right now.

[Bob]

No, no, no, no. Don't tell them, don't tell them. If y' all want to see the motherfucking shirt, you get the Patreon. Y' all think I don't know what the fuck I got on?

[Monet]

So you're saying everyone who's not a patron is a nigga? Wow.

[Bob]

Yeah. And that's on Pearl. That's on her.

[Monet]

I have resentments against Christianity too. I gotta be honest.

[Bob]

Oh, for sure. I, I have a lot of resentments towards Christianity because it's how I grew up. And it's, it's, it is a big contributor to my fucking emotional fuck up scene.

[Monet]

So when I, When I met you. When I met you, I remember used to be like, Used to be like, bob, please not, not. But I would be saying my anti Christian stuff and I'd be like, nigga, do you agree or not? And you'd be like, you know,

[Bob]

when I first met you, there was a. When I first met you, where you

[Monet]

were like, jesus is, there's, there's. I. No, this. I've been this way for a while.

[Bob]

I've been getting as vocal about it. Well, when I first met you, like, you had your, your beliefs about Christianity and I. But I've always. If people don't believe whatever, I'm. I've never been like, I can be friends with them. But over the years, you have definitely turned up the dial on the anti Christianity. You have. Definitely have.

[Monet]

I agree, I agree with that. But I remember one day asking you if Jesus was your Lord and savior and you did not have an answer for me. You were like, you know, it's like we're on speaking terms.

[Bob]

We cool.

[Monet]

We definitely cool. That's. That's for sure.

[Bob]

We cool. Uh huh. Uh huh what? Why do you think you will ever reconcile with your Christian resentment?

[Monet]

No, because I think that Christianity would have to stop harming the black community and the queer community first, especially the black community.

[Bob]

And that ain't happening.

[Monet]

And that's not gonna. And that's not gonna happen anytime soon. So I have a hard time. I was in Monae's phone, which fell over, so I was acting like I was falling anyway, so I don't think I will. And I. And I think that, like, my thing with Christianity is, in my mind, I'm like, is this is not real? Like, this just didn't happen. And if it is real, I'll hate it even more. Like, if it is real, I'll be like, I'm not hanging out with y' all niggas in heaven. I do not want to. I do not want to. I don't want to hang out with y'. All.

[Bob]

I know hell is buying brimstone.

[Monet]

I know hell's going to be. I know, I know, I know. But, like. Like, does hanging. Okay, hear me out. Let's say the conservative Christians are right. Do you want to be around them for eternity? Like, let's say they're right. Are those the people you want to hang out with for eternity? I don't mean, like, for the rest of your life, longer than your life. Those are, like.

[Bob]

Let's say that.

[Monet]

Let's say they're right about the gays, and let's say they're right about all this stuff. Who will you be hanging out with in heaven?

[Bob]

Well, that's the thing, right? So, yeah, I mean, that's a valid point. I ain't trying to eat lunch with them niggas.

[Monet]

No, girl, hell is about to be popping. We're about to lose so many listeners.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Monet]

Exhale. Feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Monet]

And breathe.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Bob]

1-800-contacts. Oh, my God. Okay. How do you normally deal with resentments not with Christianity, but, like, with friends. Okay. Have you ever resented a friend, like, for real? Is there a friend that you like, resented?

[Monet]

Yes. You and I have a common friend that I resented for a really long time, and I don't know if I've stopped. Ooh, we don't need to name names on the podcast one day. We do not need to name names on our own.

[Bob]

No, we do. Oh, so you forgot the mantra.

[Monet]

Say David name. Well, I will.

[Bob]

We will bleep it.

[Monet]

But. But it's.

[Bob]

Oh. Oh, really?

[Monet]

Yes. I had a very big resentment against him for a very long time. What do you mean? What do you mean? I've told. This is not a secret. I've told you this.

[Bob]

I know, but I. I've told him.

[Monet]

I've told you. I've told everyone. Friend group.

[Bob]

Wait, but do you still resent him to this day?

[Monet]

Not really. We're just not. It's just weird because we're not really, like. I mean, everyone. He's gonna know now. But anyway, whatever. We're just not friends. Like, we used to be, like. We used to be, like, inseparable. You know what I mean? It was crazy.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

And. And we. We never really reconciled our friendship. We just kind of.

[Bob]

We just kind of moved on, and we're like. Okay. Anyway, that happened. Anyway.

[Monet]

I mean. Yeah, child. Anyway, so, like, we. Nicki Minaj it, like, it was like big boobs. What? Chile. Anyway, so. And we. And we really just kind of moved on, and we really just more or less just live separate lives now. But we have hung out. You know, we went and had dinner a while back, and we've hung out with you.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

And we still have, you know, obviously a lot of friends in common because our circles were so intertwined for a hospital.

[Bob]

Yeah. I. Our ven.

[Monet]

Diagram was basically one circle.

[Bob]

Yeah. I actively hang out with them very often.

[Monet]

I know.

[Bob]

Do you. Do you. Do you resent me because I'm good friends with them.

[Monet]

I really don't resent them anymore. And actually, we've hung out a few times, and I've enjoyed hanging out. And, I mean, they're so funny and really talented and just a great cheerleader and a really nice person. And, like, it was really great. I just. I think about all the great memories that I had with them and them, like, just being, like, just having so much fun and laughing and, like, crying and all that stuff. So you guys guessed it.

[Bob]

It's Patty. It's Patty. Yes, it's Patty.

[Monet]

Have I ever resented Patty? Let me think. Have I ever resented Patty. No. I mean, no, that's not true. One time I was mad at. I mean, I don't think I resented, but I was. I was mad at Patty. One time. It was so annoying. Patty was being so. Because I was sending out a group text to everyone in the group to get together. This was pre pandemic. And I said, let's all hang out and play video games. Cause me and Monet are both in town. This is very rare. So everyone came over, and we all played video games. And then everyone in the group plays video games except for Patty. Okay, so we're all playing video games, which we all sent in the text. Everyone was like, yes, we're gonna play. So we were playing, and then at one point, Patty was like, what? Are we just gonna sit here and play video games? Do you remember this, Jacob? Jacob was like. Patty was like, are we just gonna sit here and play video games all night? And we were like, yes, Patty. That was literally the entire. That was the plan. The whole time. The whole time, the plan was to just sit here and play video games. And you knew this, and now you're like, ugh, you guys are playing video games? And he was like, on his phone and then just looked up, was like, you guys gonna play video games all day? Whatever.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Monet]

How are you gonna resent Patty for that?

[Bob]

So you have invited Patty to your home to hang out.

[Monet]

I said a tiny, slight resentment. I said a tiny, slight resentment. I mean, Patty, I love it.

[Bob]

Okay, how you gonna be ma about it or whatever when you are forcing Patty to engage in something, but Because Patty wants to hang out. But we could have. I think.

[Monet]

How did I force Patty to do anything?

[Bob]

Because it's a group text. And it was right before the pandemic, like, you just said, it was a rare occurrence that we were in town. So Patty obviously really wanted to be there. So I feel like, as a friend group, we could have done a better job of including Patty in the activity. So, Patty, let me make this clear.

[Monet]

You think I forced Patty to hang out with us while we're together?

[Bob]

I forced Patty. But you sent me. You sent a text message to the group inviting Patty to your home to do. You invited Patty into your home to do an activity that you know that he doesn't do. That's like, literally, that's like me being like, guys, me and Bob in town, Everybody, let's come over to my house and let's smoke weed. And then you're like, you know what? I. You know what?

[Monet]

I wouldn't come. I've been. I have been invited to hang out people and do drugs. And you know what I do? I say, no, thank you, I will pass.

[Bob]

Had it been me, I would not include you. But you included Patty in the message, so he's like, really want to be there.

[Monet]

So the other option is let's just not hang out with Patty, everyone. Let's send a group text to everyone but Patty. The group text we have. I'm going to send a new group text, Patty excluded, and say, hey, guys, y' all want to hang out? And then Patty finds out we're all hanging out. And that. That is shady.

[Bob]

Now, if I was doing a thing with smoking weed, I would not include you in the. I would literally do another text. Cuz I know there is no way on earth you'd want to hang out and do that.

[Monet]

That. I mean, that's, that's. That's how you.

[Bob]

What did you.

[Monet]

I get invited to drink and do drugs all the time. I am a drag queen, Monet. I get invited to drink drugs every day.

[Bob]

I almost said the person's name, the manager. When I talk about things like that, I'm saying like your close friends. If everyone and friend group smoke weed, and I know you don't, I would not even include you in that because a. I feel like that would be. I feel like that's even rude to do if someone is sober.

[Monet]

Smoking weed is different. You can't be in a room with people unless they're like, eating edibles or doing some vapor thing. If you were in a room smoking weed, you can't be in that room and not be high. That is a different story now. People have it. You, Monet X change. You have invited me to your home where you've been drinking. You and your friends have been drinking. You've invited me to events where people are drinking. You know I don't drink.

[Bob]

Wait, a what? A what?

[Monet]

You've invited me to. You've invited me to your. So I've never been to your house when you cracked up with some beer and started drinking.

[Bob]

Yes, I had that, but I, it was not like. It was like a party of everyone. I. I bought. I have never invited you to a party. First of all, I never invited you to a function at my home where it's like a. Drinking, smoking. I have never done that.

[Monet]

I never.

[Bob]

Smoking. Yeah.

[Monet]

I never said smoking.

[Bob]

I've never invited you to a party. People are just drinking at my house. Yes, you have come to my house and I have had alcohol, but I Never. Like, guys, we're having a. We're having, like, a kegger. Bob, you want to come over? I have never done that, and I never would.

[Monet]

Okay, There's a difference between having a kegger. If you have an event where everyone's drinking and I'm the only. I'm the only one not drinking. I have been to your house. I have name it. Your home, money. Will you stop talking and let me say it? I have been to your home, and everyone's been drinking except me. That has happened. Me, you, Pixie, Jasmine Rice. When you were giving all.

[Bob]

Jasmine Rice does not drink.

[Monet]

When you were giving away. Well, me and Jasmine were drinking. You were giving away your. Your jewelry. You. You were giving away some jewelry or something, and. And all y' all were cracking up in bridge money. It's not a bad thing. But y' all were all drinking, and I was there.

[Bob]

No, it's not all. Maybe. First of all, Pixie, first of all, you know this. Pixie does drink.

[Monet]

I didn't say she was trash. No one was trashed. You are out of here. You're sprinkling in marijuana.

[Bob]

Trash.

[Monet]

Wasted Kers. I never said any of that stuff. This is all words you just said. I've never said any of that.

[Bob]

Yeah, but that's. That's what I'm saying. When I was giving jewelry away, it was, yeah, you, Jasmine Rice, Pixie, and myself. Maybe Jacob may. May have come with you. Maybe I was drinking some wine or a bear or truly or something, and Pixie may have had half a Truly. It wasn't like a party where people were.

[Monet]

This.

[Bob]

This was a game night. We're having a game night. A game night is different than people come to my house to give me. Giving them jewelry and I have a cocktail. That's not the same thing.

[Monet]

So in your opinion, I should have just done a separate text without Patty and not invited him to anything?

[Bob]

I'm saying we know, notoriously, Patty has never played with video games with us.

[Monet]

Answer that question.

[Bob]

Hold on. Let me say. Let me say what I'm saying. We know Patty has never. There's never been a moment. Patty has never played video games with us ever. Patti does not enjoy that. He doesn't like that. So I think inviting Patty to a game night of video games is a little like, well, you're inviting me to something that, you know I don't do.

[Monet]

Patti has hung out with us while we play video games. So it's not like Patti's never been around with anybody.

[Bob]

He always bitches. He Always bitches and complains.

[Monet]

So the answer to the question is, you think I should have made a completely separate group text without Patty? And even though on this rare catch while we're in town, we should have just had a separate group text and not invited Patti? Is that what you're saying?

[Bob]

Sure, if you were going to build resentment that he got an attitude, yes.

[Monet]

If you really bothered me, you're really lingering on resentment. It was like, this is annoying that Patty's doing that. I keep saying it was a tiny. I keep saying it was a tiny little moment. I'm not mad at Patty, but I was like, wow, that is a weird thing to do. Me and Patty are not fighting. We're not enemies. I. I'm gonna reiterate. Cause you like to sprinkle in stuff. I do. I'm not mad at. I remember thinking to myself, you knew this was a video game thing. It was in the text. You agreed to come. You said you hang out. And then as soon as you showed up, he was like, ugh, why are we playing video games? And somehow you made it that I'm the rude one. I'm gassed. I'm destroyed.

[Bob]

We're talking about resentments and grudges, and you felt some type of way enough to bring it up. So obviously there's some type of feeling that you felt then. I'm just saying to avoid those feelings, just not even have him come so you don't ever have to come.

[Monet]

I'm just gagged that you think I've done something rude. That is so crazy. That is such a. That is. You have turned this into, like, Bob did something to Patty. That is so wild. You're like, it's rude to even invite him.

[Bob]

So what did you say then?

[Monet]

Tell me what I want to interrupt. Tell me what you said while I grab my water.

[Bob]

I said it 19 times. I was saying if this action that Patty did caused you to bring it up. And I remember that.

[Monet]

Not that what you said about me forcing Patty and making him bibbidi bop.

[Bob]

I'll give you my whole point, so I'm very clear. I'm saying if this action. If this action that Patty exhibit, this behavior Patty exhibited on that day, caused you to bring him up. Bring him up on the resentment and grudges episode, I would say maybe just not even have it come so you don't ever have to have those feelings. That's all I'm saying.

[Monet]

If only I would have had the foresight to know that Patty was gonna be annoyed and that we Were gonna have a resentment and Grudges episode two years down the line. Sure, Monet. Well, Patty would have that foresight.

[Bob]

Every time Patty happens to be. We're all hanging out and we end up playing games at the end. Paddy is always rolling his eyes on his phone, scoffing like, ugh, this is constant behavior of Patties.

[Monet]

Well, I'm just intrigued that you're like, It's a Bob thing.

[Bob]

Bob.

[Monet]

I'm just so intrigued at how you twisted that into me doing something nefarious and shady. That is wild to me.

[Bob]

How long can you hold a grudge, Roberta?

[Monet]

I don't typically really hold grudges. I'm trying to think about someone I've had a grudge.

[Bob]

Do the sober thing. I think I hear a lot of sober people say that. Cause when you. Because when you correct me if I'm wrong, when you become sober, like, part of the steps or part of the tenants is that you, like. You, like, face your grudges or you. Or you, like, reconcile any of those, like, feelings, right?

[Monet]

No, that's not one of the steps. No.

[Bob]

Oh, well, isn't it something like that? Or something akin to something similar to that?

[Monet]

I mean, we talk about grudges and resentments a lot in the program, but it's not one of the steps. No. And, I mean, I would say if. Honestly, if I have one. I have one person in my life that I've really held a grudge with for a very long time, and it's my father, besides Frank Fridge. I don't really have a lot of grudges, to be honest. Work outside of the thing about anyone that I'm, like, really like. Like. I mean, I. I don't. I will say that I don't. Like, sometimes I don't fuck with people, but it's. But I think everyone. That's everyone. Everyone doesn't. I don't believe in giving. Like my mother believes in giving everyone 1000 opportunities. You do me wrong, then do me wrong, and then do me wrong, and then do me wrong, and then do me wrong, and then do me wrong, and then do. That's my mom. I don't believe in that. But I don't personally align that with a grudge. I align that with, like, okay, now I just know more about you.

[Bob]

Yeah. Yeah, I got grudges pretty long. Well, not a grudge. Like, it's that Taylor thing. Like, if you did me wrong, I'm like, I will never forget that action that you did to me. We can be friends afterwards and we can be cordial and whatever, but I'll never forget that behavior that you did, because if you did it once, you can do it again.

[Monet]

But can you forgive them?

[Bob]

Forgive them? Yeah, I can. I can. I can forgive them, but I will never forget that, actually.

[Monet]

Forgive anybody.

[Bob]

Can I forgive anybody?

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Can you forgive the guy that scammed you?

[Monet]

Can you forgive the guy that scammed you? And no. And no.

[Bob]

No, because that is.

[Monet]

That is.

[Bob]

That is a pattern of behavior he's been doing for a literal. For probably almost a decade now. So that. That. That is in his nature. He is a. He's an evil person.

[Monet]

Work. Has Tizlarm ever talked about it? Do you talk about Tizlarm?

[Bob]

We, like, laugh about it now.

[Monet]

You should tell them what we're talking about, the people who don't know.

[Bob]

Yeah. So I have talked about him on a podcast before, but when I was up and coming to New York City, this scammer guy, he saw me out in the street and he invited me to lunch. He ended up. And my friend Tizom, who has danced for Bob and I on our Civil Memory tour, and y' all see me post him a lot. Very beautiful, tall, black man. He's so sexy.

[Monet]

Ugh.

[Bob]

Anyway, so he, like, scammed us into having. He, like. We had lunch with him, and he's ordered. He, like, ran up this huge tab. Like, he's, like, drinking, ordering all this food, and he just dips out on the. On. On the check. And then Cesar and I end up being arrested for it because they think that we're trying to, like, scam the restaurant. They call us niggas, all kinds of crazy shit. Come to find out, he has been doing this to, like, people all over Hell's Kitchen up in Washington Heights, all over the place. Like, it's like, he's a mess.

[Monet]

And you don't think. You ever give him. Even if he, like, changed?

[Bob]

No, I don't.

[Commercial Announcer]

I don't. I don't.

[Monet]

I don't.

[Bob]

Fuck that nigga.

[Monet]

I don't know him. I mean, you don't know if he might. Maybe he'll cross your life one day. I don't think you. I don't. You think. Also, just. Just for the record, I don't think that forgiveness is something that people have to do. I don't think everyone deserves forgiveness. I don't think everyone has to forgive people. I don't believe in that. I do think that forgiveness is good for you, and I do think that. What is this cat doing, Bob?

[Bob]

Continue. She is Just. I'm listening to you. Why are you so. Why are you so. You know what?

[Monet]

Actually, let's talk about grudges. This is the grudge. I need to talk about me and Colleen.

[Bob]

Why are you so. What? You get so bothered by Colleen. I'm very. And you have these weird emotions, like, you'll be fine for a couple weeks and wondering, like, what the fuck is wrong with this hair? Kind of hairless. What the is wrong with it?

[Monet]

Like, what is this deal?

[Bob]

What is going on with you and Colleen? What is the problem? Okay, two things.

[Monet]

One, you know I don't like cats. So you've known this before you ever

[Bob]

got a record like I. That you like Colleen. You have said that on. On this podcast for sure.

[Monet]

As Colleen grows up, she's changing and she changes. My opinion changes.

[Bob]

Oh, my God. You. You spit. To quote I don't know who. You spin my head right around, right round. I just. I am.

[Monet]

It's Pitbull.

[Bob]

No, it's not Pitbull. Boy isn't.

[Monet]

You spin my head right. Mr. World. Well, he has a version of it in Mr. Worldwide. He.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

Oh, well, he does it in a song.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

What is this?

[Bob]

What is this? Resentment towards Colleen? Why do you resent Colleen?

[Monet]

Okay, she. Okay, first of all, she does stuff like claw at me, which I don't care for particularly. She grabs my clothes. She has scratched me several times.

[Bob]

Several times more.

[Monet]

You know what more than two means? Several. She has scratched me enough times that I am not comfortable. I'll say. I'll put you this way. Colleen scratched me more times than I've scratched you. And I've known you for almost nine years.

[Bob]

Okay, you give me several black and blues. I feel like I'm fucking Tina turn up with this motherfucker.

[Monet]

And then she also, like, we're just recording and she's like, eating fucking tissue and, like, pulling at the cords. And, like, I'm like, this cat is driving me crazy.

[Bob]

Well, maybe you and Colleen can address some of these grudges. Have you ever seen the movie the Grudge?

[Monet]

I have seen the Grudge, and it's pretty good.

[Bob]

It wasn't good. I was in high school, I think, when it came out, and I remember kind of what it was about. I know it's a girl on the TV with long hair, but I don't remember what ended up happening.

[Monet]

There's a tape, and if you watch the tape, you'll die in seven days.

[Bob]

Right. And how do you die? The girl comes out from the thing and, like, kills you, you know, you

[Monet]

just end up just like. Like, the girl comes out, and she looks at you, basically, or it comes near you, it doesn't show what she does to you, but you just end up with your face, like. Like, open and, like. And, like, wet, and you end up wet with, like, a crazy face. And there's this guy trying to, like, break the curse so he doesn't die in seven days.

[Bob]

No, it's a woman. I know. I know it's a woman.

[Monet]

Oh, is it a woman? That's probably true. I haven't seen a long time. Oh, am I. Oh, I am confused. In the Grudge of the Ring, because there was a girl. Because there was. Because there was a girl with long hair in both movies, right?

[Bob]

What? I'm noticing something that these.

[Monet]

That.

[Bob]

Why are they making women be these, like, evil sirens that come and kill people? Why is it women? Why could it be some dude that was coming out the tv?

[Monet]

I think it's. I think it's. I think there's a lot of men who kill people in movies. In movies. Freddie Jason, Mike Myers. How many more women can you name that kill that are the scary people in movies besides the Ring and the Grudge?

[Bob]

Wait, hold on.

[Monet]

Oh, the girl from the garage here to get Monet.

[Bob]

As soon as I talk about scary, I'm like, scary stuff in my house. Colleen tries to get into the bathtub, so she's, like, trying to think on the glass door, but it sounded like someone was jiggling my front door, like, downstairs. I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna die.

[Monet]

Sound like you have a grudge against Colleen for scary.

[Bob]

What? I. My. My favorite thing about the Grudge is that they parodied it in scary movie 3. Remember when the girl comes out the TV and Brenda fights her?

[Monet]

That's the ring. Is that the Rings now? Now, I don't think I remember the Grudge. I've seen it, but I don't remember it. I know it's a girl with her.

[Bob]

The Grudge is the. She's the.

[Monet]

The Asian girl with long hair, right?

[Bob]

She's the one. What. What the fuck did Yuha do on season 10? Was that the grudge of the ring?

[Monet]

Bitch, I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. I'm so. I think she was the Grudge.

[Bob]

Our producer Jacob, is watching a scramble. He's like, they'll get it.

[Monet]

Jacob was like, I'm not helping you hoes a little bit.

[Bob]

Even a little bit. No, the Grudge is the Asian girl who comes out the. Yeah, she. The. Yuha did the grudge. She is like the. Like, she kind of escorts herself. Yeah, yeah. Yes, girl. And it came out in 2004. Oh, my God. That means I was 14, which means I was in eighth grade. Ninth grade. Wow.

[Monet]

I graduated high school. That was the year I started college.

[Bob]

Oh, damn. You old nigga. Damn.

[Monet]

Have you seen that video of Kevin Hart interviewing someone? And he goes, I'm 56. He goes, Damn, I'm sorry.

[Bob]

Yeah, I saw that. Kevin Hart, he's funny. He is funny. Okay, if someone has wronged you, what's the best way for them to take. To make amends with you?

[Monet]

You better read that question as if you're reading it. Don't even make it sound natural. You better read it. If someone has wronged you, what is the best way for them to come in?

[Bob]

Also, we're not. I don't know what you're doing. Are we hiding from the listeners that we have prompts? I don't think that's hiding, Monet.

[Monet]

It's not about hiding, Monet. You always act like something is hiding. I remember you were jok. Gluing your wig down, was faking it one day. You're so. You are so wild. It's about making it flow into the conversation. So I would be like, no. If somebody has asked you, what was the best way.

[Bob]

You make everything too extreme. You make everything so extreme. You know that's not how we're ready. You are so fucking extreme.

[Monet]

Wait, Monet, I have to go back and watch that video of you doing your book report about.

[Bob]

First of all, that's how much you don't even listen to the podcast. Tamar, we didn't have videos back then. That's when we was being crazy. And we didn't have no videos.

[Monet]

I have to go back and listen. It was so good. You were really. That was. I remember, like, I was crying.

[Bob]

Bitch, what's the way to make amends with you?

[Monet]

It depends on what it is. You have to give me an example of something someone's done. I can say, I gotta make amends on it.

[Bob]

Okay, let's say I come to your house, you're out of town, you and Jacob are out of town, and I ask you to stay at your place. She's like, you know what, Monique? Come to town. You can stay in my place, but when I leave, I leave your place like a mess. Like, I don't. It's just a mess. I did not leave it how you left it. And it's just it's really not cool. And I don't acknowledge it. I don't tell you anything. And when you tell me, I'm like, no, I did. And it, whatever. Because of the interaction, we don't, we're not, we're not as tight of friends anymore because, because it really upset you that I didn't, that I at your place and I didn't apologize, I didn't fix it. Nothing.

[Monet]

I think if you the right place, it wouldn't, it wouldn't upset me so much. You it up. But if you, if you, I would ask for you to apologize for doing it. I would ask you to fix it in a timely manner.

[Bob]

I didn't do anything wrong. What do you mean? I, I, I, I, it was, I left it how I had it. This is how it was when I came here.

[Monet]

Then, then it sounds like me and you might not be able to make amends if you can't see the, if you can't see that what you did was wrong and I'm telling you why it was wrong and what you should do to make it wrong. And you're like, I don't see that. I think we're done. We can't make.

[Bob]

If you can't see the friendship is over.

[Monet]

If you cannot see why that's wrong, then we can't make amends. If you're just like, I didn't do

[Bob]

anything, but I didn't do anything. What do you mean? Show me. Do you have, Is there any, like, how did you leave it?

[Monet]

Okay, so I'll say this. Did you notice that when you came here, the refrigerator was working? It was like. It worked.

[Bob]

It was, it was, it wasn't as cold. It was not very cold. So I don't know if it was working or not, but your refrigerator was not cold.

[Monet]

And also the curtains in the content room have been there. They're not up, they're down, and one of the boards is broken and a few of the clips are missing.

[Bob]

Well, when, in my defense, when I pulled it, it just came down. I, So I think it was done. It wasn't hung properly. So, yes, it's my fault. Yes, it kind of my fault. But if you would have put it like properly, you let me. You told me I could use your content room. So the fact that you didn't install it properly. Yes, I may have. It may have fallen out under my watch. But it's kind of. You contributed to it.

[Monet]

So my question is. So you don't see anything wrong with breaking. You left my fridge open. Which I think, like, I'm not a technician, but I think, like, the Freon is empty or something. It was overworking. And the fridge is no longer cooling off my food. And the curtains. One of this curtains is just completely pulled down and broken. And the guest bathroom, the one in the middle, the half bath, the toilet doesn't flush anymore. And you don't see anything wrong with any of this?

[Bob]

Well, first of all, the toilet is black, so I can't even verify that it was water in the fucking toilet when I got here. So let's talk about that.

[Monet]

All right, well, you can see the water, and. But let me hear that. I can see the water. Maybe you're. I mean, which is weird. I wear glasses, and I know you have 2020 vision, so I'm assuming that if I can see it, you can see that girl. But if you can't see that those things are a problem, then I. I guess we're gonna have to figure out how to reconcile this in the future. Because if you. If you don't see it as anything wrong and you're not willing to make any amends, you're not willing to get my toilet fixed, get me a new fridge, or get my fridge fixed and get my curtains fixed in the timely manner, we're gonna have a problem.

[Bob]

Well, let me tell you, I know Bob. Bob would be so hot. Bob would be so hot that I would not acknowledge those things. I'm like, monet, you came. Bitch, you came to my house. And the thing was, Monet, you. You involved that. Monet, you have only seen me scream

[Monet]

at, like, two people as long as I've known you, like, in the. Almost nine years.

[Bob]

That was not screaming. That was not screaming. That was not screaming. That was raising your voice. And, Bob, you talk. Bobby, I. I don't think you realize how often you speak passionately when you speak. Jacob, am I crazy when you see passion?

[Monet]

Bob, I know that I speak passionately.

[Bob]

And you slap your hand in your fist, you slap behind your fist, and you're like, what day. Monet.

[Commercial Announcer]

Monet.

[Bob]

The curtain was down.

[Monet]

Monet, I know that I speak passionately. You don't have to convince me. I'm on your team. I know I speak passionately. I believe you.

[Bob]

I.

[Monet]

You. You do not have to convince me at all. I'm a very passionate person. But I'm not yelling at you.

[Bob]

Yes, I'm a. You. You raise your. I mean, you have. You have raised your voice. And what I'm doing is what you've done on this podcast where you speak very loudly and passionately, and you want to sink that point in. And I think you would do that because you would be so flabbergasted that I would not admit what I did wrong to your home.

[Monet]

Yeah. If it came to, like, property damage, I think that we would really have to. I would have to really take a step back and evaluate our friendship. For example, here's. Here's a great example. I got my car wrapped. My car is now black. It used to be white. It is now black. And I let Ezra borrow my car, and he scratched it. There's, like, a little scratch in the back. And I was like, hey, babe, my car. Like, I lent you the car, and it's in a scratch now. And then Ezra was like, I apologize. I will figure out how to pay for that. And I said, thank you. That was all I wanted. I did not. I did not make. I didn't. I didn't want him to pay for it. I just wanted to know that he was like, it happened in my care. I accept that, and I will get it taken care of. Turns out the guy who wrapped the car for me was like, oh, I'll just fix it. It's great. Don't worry. He likes me as a customer, so it didn't even come to that. But knowing that he was willing to pay for it, that was amends enough for me.

[Bob]

Got it.

[Monet]

How about you? Well, let's say I come to your house, and you ask me to stay at your house for a week, and you come back, Colleen's dead.

[Bob]

Oh, my God.

[Monet]

And I'm covered in blood. You come home, and I'm covered in blood. What do we do now?

[Bob]

I am calling the police. I don't even think you can call the police for animals. I'm calling the police on you.

[Monet]

Did you even ask me how it happened? Did you even take a second to ask me what happened? No.

[Bob]

Well, the police can help us figure it out together.

[Monet]

I think you need to. You don't. You're not gonna give me the. The grace and the dignity. Ask me what happened.

[Bob]

The fact that I'm coming home after a week and you're covered in blood, and I.

[Monet]

Why don't you ask me right now what happened?

[Bob]

You have not. The fact that you did not call me and text me immediately is already a red flag.

[Monet]

So you know I'm covered in blood, meaning this clearly just happened. It didn't happen two days ago, and I sat around your house in blood. You are walking in the door, and I am Covered in blood.

[Bob]

Oh, you didn't say that. You didn't say that.

[Monet]

I thought that you thought I was just hanging out in blood, just like.

[Bob]

Yeah, I thought you. I thought you. In my mind, you had a psychotic break, and you were just sitting on my couch covered in Colleen's blood, and her carcass was just on the floor.

[Monet]

Why don't you ask me what happened? Okay, so you know how you told me to let Colleen go out on the porch sometime, right? Colleen was walking on the little balcony that she walks on, and she fell off. When she fell to the bottom, she got into a fight with a bobcat. And actually, there was a bobcat in the neighborhood. So I run downstairs with the Roomba because it was the only thing I could grab, and I am fighting the bobcat. Me and Colleen are both fighting this bobcat together. And then I get Colleen in the house. We beat the thing off. I throw it into the dumpster and close the lid. And me and Colleen, I grab Colleen. We're running. She is meowing everywhere. There's blood all over the place. I close the door behind me, and me and Colleen are both, like, pantsing. And then Colleen looks at me, starts foaming at the mouth because she has rabies, because bobcats carry rabies. Colleen is now attacking me. Me. Like she will not. So I am trying everything in my power to get her off of me. She will not stop attacking me. I have now wrapped her in a blanket so she will stop scratching me. And I don't know if she succumbed to the attacks from the bobcat or if she suffocated, but in the midst of all that, she died. And then you walked through the front

[Bob]

door calling the cops. I'm calling the cops. I'm calling the cops because I can't believe that you let her fall off the balcony. So I feel like you need to take some ownership of that.

[Monet]

You told me to let her go to the balcony. You said, let her go out there. She likes going on the balcony.

[Bob]

And all the time, she's going out on the balcony when I'm there. She had never fallen off. So what did you do to have her fall off the balcony this time?

[Monet]

What do you think, I pushed her or something? She just slipped?

[Bob]

I mean, you have resentments towards her. You have been very. There is documented proof of how nasty you have been to Colleen on this podcast in Lives on the Patreon. So. And to me, there is something fishy going on, and I don't believe you. I feel like you have done Something to have Colleen be dead in this current moment.

[Monet]

I think Colleen also has a sponsorship with Truly. She had a couple little sip sips when she got out there, hopped up on the thing, was a little tipsy and slipped over and fell. I've also shown several times on this podcast that I like Colleen, that I love her. Oh, now you like her.

[Bob]

I like you said you grow and change as Colleen's gotten older. The resentment has been on a steady incline of her. So I think you chose this moment so that you would never have to deal with Colleen ever again. You chose a weak moment when I was gone to get. To get her dead. And I want the cops involved because if you did, if there is ocular proof that you had Colleen, you. That you hired a fucking bobcat hit cat to fucking kill my cat. I want you to be persecuted by the fullest extent of the law, period.

[Monet]

Well, I am. I am completely comfortable you calling the cops. I know that you have. I know that you have cameras in your home. You will see that I have not done anything to Colleen. I. You can check my text. I have. There is no text between me and any cats. I don't with cats in general. I would have hired a dog, first of all. Okay. Not a cat. So. But how can I make amends to you now? Where are my men's.

[Bob]

My. I don't even know what my meds would be. I would be so distraught. I would be. I. I don't know. I don't know if getting you.

[Monet]

I put my life on the line to fight this bobcat for Colleen.

[Bob]

You're alive. It's a bobcat. It's maybe a little bigger than a fucking Pomeranian. You'll be fine.

[Monet]

Bobcats have rabies.

[Bob]

And so do you.

[Monet]

Yeah, but maybe. Maybe now. Cause I fought your fucking. I fought for your. For Colleen's life.

[Bob]

I don't know what the amends would be. I'm like, I don't know, getting a new cat seems like so crazy. Like, oh, one die to get a new one. I don't want a new cat. I don't want your money. And I genuinely don't know how you can make amends to me. I don't know how you thought about it.

[Monet]

I'm getting irritated.

[Bob]

I'm getting really mad even thinking about it because I feel like, how are

[Monet]

you gonna make amends to me? I. I now am probably.

[Bob]

I owe you a man.

[Monet]

Well, you called the cops on me. I fought from. I fought. I risked my life to fight for your cat. Your cat Started attacking me, all this stuff. And I was doing a favor for you, watching your little cat.

[Bob]

I find it very funny.

[Monet]

You're a hairless cat. You're hairless.

[Bob]

How? I had to end up making amends to Bob. Like, I'm the victim here. But now I have to make amends to you.

[Monet]

Your cat attacked me because you let

[Bob]

her get rabies and get crazy.

[Monet]

So should I have not let her go on the porch or what? Should I let her go on the porch or not?

[Bob]

You shouldn't have. I didn't ask. You said with me. I didn't ask you to do that.

[Monet]

Now, you said, let Colleen go on the porch. You say she likes going out there. Let her go outside on the porch.

[Bob]

I never said that.

[Monet]

In my.

[Bob]

In my. In my house instructions. I never said that. I said, colleen goes. Unfortunately, I never said that.

[Monet]

You said out loud, feed her this at this time, change her litter box at this time, and let her go out on the porch and get sun. You said those words. So now what are you gonna do?

[Bob]

I think you misinterpreted what I said.

[Monet]

Well, you are. You remember that conversation we had about improv ing earlier? She's back in the house.

[Bob]

Well, I flipped it. I flipped it. I didn't say that because that. And you were like, no. Yes, you did. I'm like, well, now I gotta go with it.

[Monet]

Well, you had to go with it the first time I said it. As soon as you introduce it, it is now a fact in the world.

[Bob]

It's always yes and or no, but. I was like, no, but da, da, da, da, da.

[Monet]

There's no but. There's no no, but. It's always yes and no, but is a no, but. No but is the opposite of yes and no, but is the worst thing to do in. In improv. No, but is literally the worst thing you can do.

[Bob]

Okay, let's play it again. Let's say. Let's say you said, call your.

[Monet]

Call your friends. Call your friend sexually strong. She'll tell you. She'll say. She'll say, no, but is literally the worst thing to do in improv.

[Bob]

No, say. Say what you said. Let me show you how no butt will work. Go ahead. About the.

[Monet]

Okay. Yes. You told me to let her. You said feed her at this time. You said change her litter boxes often and let her go out on the porch and get sun.

[Bob]

No, but you're not supposed to do it on Mondays. You did it on Mondays. Mondays is when the bobcat comes out. So if you really listen intently I said not on Mondays, and that was the. Mondays is the day you did it.

[Monet]

You can't. No, but. No but is the opposite of yes and no. It. Monet, in the rules of improv. No, but is the death of a scene.

[Bob]

No.

[Monet]

Here's what you can do, you know, but look at you. Try it on me.

[Bob]

Try it.

[Monet]

I am now, Monet. You're. You're. Bob, I'm gonna tell you how to. How to.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Monet]

And the situation. You ready?

[Bob]

In the instructions, you said, she can go out. You said, feed her, clothe her, and put her on the patio.

[Monet]

Yes, and I didn't say she could fall off the patio. You should still be watching her. I did not say let her go on the patio and then wander to the next room and read a book. I asked you to watch my cat, which means literally be in the house and watch the cat. That's yes, ma'.

[Commercial Announcer]

Am.

[Bob]

Well, y' all can comment below. Does. Y' all can comment below if the no belt works. And yes, the yes and word but. I think the no but works as well. Y' all can comment below. Do y' all think the no but worked in this situation? Yes or no, bitch.

[Monet]

No, but does not work.

[Bob]

You are so wild.

[Monet]

Who is someone that you forgave, who really did you dirty? Like, someone who you can remember forgiving, someone who you were like this? Because let me tell you right now, I don't know if you ever heard this, has heard this expression. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies.

[Bob]

Resentment is like drinking poisoning, drinking poison

[Monet]

and hoping someone else dies. Because resentment, it really is bad for you. I can say honestly. And honestly, my resentment for my father is not good for me. It is. It is. It is that it has caused me nothing but hurt and pain my whole life.

[Bob]

Well, how do you heal from that?

[Monet]

I do not have the answer to that question. I wish I could just be really chill about it. And the way my mom is, I wish I could just be like, that's just frank. That's just Frank.

[Bob]

Do you think meeting him and having a conversation would help a lot of that?

[Monet]

Because of the patterns that he's exhibited in my life, I don't think that he's capable of. Here's the thing. It also involves drugs and alcohol. So, like, I've also. I've never seen my father drunk or high. I've never seen my father have a. Take a sip of anything in my life. But when he is in that state, he's just a different person because of. Because of how, like, he doesn't call me. He doesn't reach out to me.

[Bob]

He.

[Monet]

Or he will call with, like, a scam. He tried. He'll. My. My father tried to scam me probably three or four times. He successfully done it a few times and. And tried to scam me probably, like, three or four times in my life, like, literally run a scam on me.

[Bob]

Crazy.

[Monet]

So I. I don't think that my father can make amends to me. Maybe if he. Maybe if he can facilitate me meeting my little brother who I've never met before, if he can start to be there for Caleb and, like, be a part of his life and right all of the wrongs that he did not do with me.

[Bob]

So, like, almost like you'll be getting amends by. You see him actively trying to make your sibling's life better, the way that he wasn't there for you.

[Monet]

Yes. If my father can make things better for Caleb, then I will start to believe that he's doing it for real. I mean, Caleb is now. Oh, my God. How old is Caleb? Jesus Christ. I don't even know how old he is. I was 21 when he was born. I am 35 now.

[Commercial Announcer]

Ooh.

[Bob]

So that means he's 14. One. Yeah. 14. No, 24. No. Yeah, 14. 14. 14.

[Monet]

So. And the thing is, like, he's about to be. In three years, my little brother will be grown. It is so crazy that. And I keep counting down the days so, like, when I get to meet my brother. So I'm gonna have to wait until he's grown because his mother doesn't want me to meet him. Yeah, because she's afraid that I'm going to somehow connect him with my father. Like, she thinks that me and Frank are, like, kicking it and. Like, it's your boy Bob and Frank kicking it and thicken. No.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

So. Because she's. She's. And I don't even know, like, the fact that this woman is this afraid of my father. I don't even know what the fuck

[Bob]

he was up to. Right. I was just about to say. I was like. She probably had some experiences where she's, like, she genuinely probably terrified that you would do that and it'll fuck up her kid.

[Monet]

And I don't know my father to be a violent or a dangerous person. I know him to be shady. But he did allude to me one time that he had done something dangerous and, like, to her, to someone else, and which is why he went to prison the last time. Or I don't even know it was last. I don't know. He might be in prison right now for all I fucking know. But that is why I. Oh, my God.

[Bob]

Are you crying?

[Monet]

No. I just saw this powder puff and I was like, I want to try to put it in the corner of my eye because it seems good for corners, but I can see why, like, I was crying. I can see that. No, I mean, but I think that if I. I think that if. If Frank were making amends toward Caleb and was able to facilitate and help us meet each other, that would. That would. That would. That would prove it to me.

[Bob]

Yeah. Honestly, I can't think of. I can't think off the top of my head who I resent. I don't.

[Monet]

I. I mean, speaking of parents. You don't resent nobody.

[Bob]

I mean, June, but again. And maybe it's just like, I'm like, up. But I generally don't even think about her. Like, when I hear her name, I'm not like.

[Monet]

You're like, what the month?

[Bob]

Right? I'm not like, okay. I'm like. She literally is a non factor to my. In my life. So she doesn't like, she doesn't try to talk to me or call me, so I'm cool. Like, I'm like, okay, girl, whatever. I don't care about you.

[Monet]

I would. I would love to be there. I would love to be like, child, whatever girl, I am that she is. That is not where I am at at all. I am, like, annoyed thinking about my dad out there. Just like, if I know he's smiling, it annoys the out of me. I'm like, nigga, what the you got to smile about?

[Bob]

Well, that's okay, because June has another kid. The kid is like 3 years old or 4 or 4 years old now. And she's like, apparently being a really good mother to him. So good for him and her. But my young. You know, I have a younger brother, Marley, who is like, he's like, in and out of jail because of his fucked up parents. Because of her and his dad.

[Monet]

He's like, how have you never told me this? Really? You've never told me this? I know about your brother who works for the system, and I know about.

[Bob]

Not the system,

[Monet]

but I don't know about this, though.

[Bob]

Yeah, Marley. And he's like, in another. In and out of prison in Milwaukee because his parents are up. That's like, you know, And I'm just so grateful that I. I got an escape and I was able to, you know, not fall down that path because of up. Parents. But yeah, he's like, she, like, really. She, like, really him up. I feel more so. I feel bad for him. I'm like, fuck, dude. And I don't know what. How to help. And it's like a whole thing.

[Monet]

I mean, one. It's not really your job to help, but I can understand why you want to, because you're like, damn it. Like, I. I feel responsible in some capacity, but also, that's not. It's not your duty to help. Like, that's. That's the job of parents. And you're not a parent. I mean, you got this badass cat that you let act like an asshole, but besides that, you're not a parent. Do you have. Do you at all resent white people at all, even?

[Bob]

Sure. Yes.

[Monet]

And, like, when I say white people, it's like, it's not about individual. It's white people as an institution.

[Bob]

Right, Right. For sure.

[Monet]

As whiteness.

[Bob]

Like, it's just like. Yeah, like, to see so something. When I see, like, whiteness flourish because I realize the reason why whiteness is able to be what it is today and flourish how it is. It is. It is at the detriment of every other being. You know what I mean? It's like, it's the reason. There was this whole thing. I saw it on Twitter. I don't know how true it is, but it's like this. Like, these folks are like, we need to steal our things back from the uk like, we need to go to these motherfucking museums and all these artifacts that they stole from our. From the. From. From Asia, Africa, India, whatever it is, we want it. We want our stuff back. And then it's like this whole thing, they're like, well, you can't have it back. He's like, well, you stole it, so why can't. So why. So you stole it from us. And now we know that you stole it. Everyone is aware, and we all agree that you stole our shit, but now we can't take it back. So, like, stuff like that drives me. It's because.

[Monet]

It's because they have more power and they have weapons and guns and lawyers and this and that to crumble us. And, you know, like, for example, when I see a bunch of white people together just laughing, what the fuck y' all niggas laughing about? I'm like, what the fuck are y' all laughing about? I hate seeing groups of white people laughing. I don't know what they're laughing about, but it. It feels like it's shady. I'm like, stop fucking laughing. Yeah, stop laughing right now.

[Bob]

And if I'm being really honest, like, anytime I've dated someone outside of my race, I've always been weird because I'm like, I always, like, in my. What I thought, you know, was that I would. When I was, like, young, young, I would, like, marry, like, a black person. And, like, I want to have that experience. And anytime I would date someone who was not black, I'm like, not betraying my race, but I'm like, what am I. Like, what am I saying with this? And again, love is love, right? You don't choose, you love. It happens, and you date. Almost like I always felt weird dating outside my race. I was like, I want to show beautiful blackness. And when I'm not doing that, I feel like I'm like, you know, I don't know. Something I still think about.

[Monet]

I feel like my existence is showing beautiful blackness. And I don't have to show my beautiful blackness by dating a black person that is not. Like, I don't think that dating a white person diminishes my blackness in any shape, form or fact. There is no one in this. On this planet who can diminish my blackness. It's literally not possible. Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Bob]

Yeah. Yeah. But also growing up, like, in my. In. In my. In my. It's like how we grew up in my community and in the Caribbean. And it's just like something that was a big. Not a big part, but it's something that was definitely talked about a lot. Like, something like I. When. When everyone thought I was straight and whatever, middle school, high school, whatever. They're like, if she can't use your. Did they say this in the South?

[Monet]

I know. Of course I know what I'm saying. If she can't use your comb, you can't bring her home.

[Bob]

Yeah, right. You know what I mean? So it was something that they used to say to me all the time. I was so self conscious about thinking people who were not black were even attractive because I was like, oh, I will say this.

[Monet]

The saying, if you can't. If she can't use the comb, you can't bring her home is. Is extremely problematic. We do not talk about it enough in the black community. That is really problematic. And I. And I think that the notion of insinuating that interracial couples are a problem is really detrimental, especially to people who are mixed race, who are the products of parents who are different races, for sure.

[Bob]

But, you know, all things kind of like religion, these are things that we grew up with. And we've had to come. Well, I've had to. Let me not speak for us. I've had to. But I actually think about all the time because it's like they thump it into you and they, like, from the time you're fucking this big. Colleen size.

[Monet]

Yeah. I mean, we could do a whole episode about interracial dating.

[Bob]

Oh, for sure.

[Monet]

I mean, I. I have. As you know.

[Bob]

I think we should have it. We should have an interracial couple.

[Monet]

Maybe we will.

[Bob]

I know.

[Monet]

I know a guy. You know, as you know. As you know, I've only ever dated two people in my life. I've dated Jacob and Ezra, and I have a boyfriend who's white and a boyfriend who's Mexican and. Or brown. Mexican is not a race, but he's. He's just a brown person. And I have. And I. And I. Those. I mean, I don't have any experience outside of that, so I don't. I. Except. Except for. I did have girlfriends when I was very young and all my girlfriends were black, but I. I do think I was really young, and those relationships were just. It wasn't like. Me and Keisha were not like you and the guy who were slaying latonya

[Bob]

and Nikki and Rover and Goodson.

[Monet]

It was. It was Keisha and. And what was her name?

[Bob]

Tiana. Tiani.

[Monet]

No. Oh, my God. Her name was Pamela. And Tisha.

[Bob]

Tisha.

[Monet]

It was Keisha and Tisha. But me and. Me and Keisha or Tisha were not like you and the guy who was slinging rocks and giving out rings. Y' all were on some college level shit when you were in middle school. That is crazy to me. Y' all were doing some notebook shit in middle school.

[Bob]

That was like my first. That was like my first relationship. We weren't calling it a relationship, but it was. That was like my first relationship. And it was like. But, you know, coincidentally, Bob, it was a run of time. I started reading the fucking Coldest Winter ever, so I thought that that's what relationships had to be.

[Monet]

Was he.

[Bob]

Was.

[Monet]

Was he. Was he black?

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Monet]

And were you in love? I was.

[Bob]

I was 12. I don't. I didn't know what love was, but if you asked me, then, I would probably say yes.

[Monet]

Interesting.

[Bob]

But now looking back, absolutely not.

[Monet]

I mean, I. I was also not in love with Keisha or Tisha, but I was. I was. I was in high school. Well, me. Me and Keisha were also in college as well.

[Bob]

But maybe.

[Monet]

Maybe that's beyond our next topic, interracial dating.

[Bob]

I'm in.

[Monet]

That's gonna light the Internet up, girl.

[Bob]

I think. I think for a guest, we could have Trixie and her partner

[Monet]

dating someone who's white and off white. They're a mixed couple. One is white and one is offensively white. All right, well, I love you very much and we'll talk to you all later.

[Bob]

I'm happy that you got happier in the episode. It makes me very good.

[Monet]

I wasn't upset. I was annoyed because we were having problems with the Internet.

[Bob]

I was just poking at you, Bob. Oh, God, here we go.

[Monet]

Goodbye.

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