The One About Hookups

Summary

Sibling Rivalry — Episode: "The One About Hookups"

Release Date: October 23, 2023
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Overview

In this lively, candid, and often hilarious episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change dive deep into the world of hookups—sharing personal stories, candid confessions, and the unwritten rules of sex among friends. The hosts examine everything from STIs and testing anxiety to the etiquette of sleeping with friends' exes, "race chasing," sexual preferences, love languages, and lessons learned from their youth. Their trademark banter and brutal honesty make for an entertaining yet thoughtful conversation on sex, friendship, and boundaries.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Early Banter & Technical Life Abroad

• [03:05–04:32] The duo chats about travel gear in Europe, voltage differences, and clogs, setting the playful tone for the episode.
• Minor digression into footwear: “My black clogs I had in that picture. The one that you made fun of me for.”—Monét [04:14]

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2. STIs, Testing, and Sex Ed

• [04:40–07:54] The two reminisce about their sexual health journeys:
  • Monét describes the nerve-wracking experience of waiting for HIV/STI results as a teen, emphasizing how clinics drummed up anxiety to encourage safer sex.
    • "I feel like they made the whole experience feel very arduous, to kind of like, scare you to have, like, safer sex." —Monét [06:53]
  • Bob shares he wasn’t sexually active or testing until his 20s.

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3. Hookups: Then vs. Now

• [07:54–09:12] Discussion on how accessible hookups were in NYC versus Atlanta, sexuality in the early 20s, and generational changes in hookup culture.

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4. "Oldies" as a Genre—Generational Reckonings

• [09:12–12:04] A debate on what counts as "oldies" music, with reference to Run DMC, Patsy Cline, and nostalgia.
  • "Oldies is not a genre." —Bob [11:05]
  • “I would consider oldies like Patsy Cline, like songs from the 60s...” —Monét [09:46]

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5. Death, Mortality, and Aging

• [13:12–14:47] The pair shift to a surprisingly reflective moment on increased awareness of mortality with age, colored by their playful tone.
  • “I’m just so much more aware of my mortality as a human being.” —Monét [13:21]
  • “In theory, death is always more imminent because you’re constantly getting closer to it.” —Bob [13:37]

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6. Hookups, Friends’ Exes, and Secret Confessions

A. Scenarios and Real Life Stories

• [18:43–25:38]
  • Monét shares a college dilemma: discovering her best friend’s (Arcia) closeted boyfriend on a hookup app.
  • Bob asks if Monet told or hooked up with the boyfriend. Discussions about outing, secrecy, and sexual ethics ensue.
• Bob’s confession:
  • "That being said, I did suck my best friend's boyfriend's dick in college, and I didn't tell." —Bob [21:45]
  • "If Alicia finds out, it's because she's hearing me say right here on this podcast. I have never told her this, ever." —Bob [23:15]

B. Hypotheticals and Boundaries

• [25:38–32:12]
  • Hypothetical scenarios: What if you hooked up with your friend’s partner in the future? At what point does it matter? Consent, "asking permission," and friendship priorities.
  • Nick is called live for his input: "If you had an ex-husband, would you be mad if Bob hooked up with your ex? If he asked me first, I wouldn’t." —Nick [32:02]

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7. The "Race Chaser" Debate

• [55:24–58:35]
  • How many Drag Race queens (or their assistants) does one need to hook up with before being a "race chaser"?
    • "In my opinion, if you have, like, three different Drag Race girls’ assistants, you’re race chasing." —Bob [57:01]
    • "We should start a drag race Slurpee Slurp club!" —Bob [58:18]
• They riff on the legend and reality of fans/guys seeking out Drag Race queens for hookups.

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8. Personal Preferences, Love Languages, and Emotional Needs

• [41:02–48:41]
  • Bob craves affirmation: "I really need someone to affirm me and my beauty when we're together. Like, I need to feel like you think I'm super hot." [41:17]
  • Monét finds ongoing engagement through intellect/personality but is initially attracted to looks.
  • They discuss their "love languages"—Bob is "words of affirmation," Monét is unsure.
  • Grand gestures and acts of service come up: "I love grand gestures. Is that one of the love languages?" —Bob [46:13]
  • "The bottom of the list is quality time. You gotta go do something." —Bob [48:02]

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9. Bad Hookup Etiquette & Communication

• [49:53–51:24]
  • Bob and Monet compare notes on "sticking out" bad hookups or calling it quits for mutual comfort.
    • "How can we get you where you need to be so I can get the fuck out of here?" —Bob [50:09]

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10. Parenting, Childhood Lessons, and Commitment

• [61:10–68:35]
  • Lengthy, comedic roleplay on whether parents should make children stick to activities they want to quit, inspired by Monet’s regret about quitting piano too soon as a child.
  • "You're going to take the first semester. If you don't like it, we'll stop at the first semester." —Monét [66:00]

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11. Neighbourhood Stories & Blood, Concrete, and Race

• [69:39–73:39]
  • Childhood tales of growing up Black in a majority-white Alabama neighborhood, racial tensions, and violence, all recounted with Bob’s signature sardonic humor.

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12. Final Tangents, Food, & Goodbyes

• [73:32–76:54]
  • KFC in the UK ("It’s so much better!") and favorite fried chicken takes.
  • Reminiscing about Drag Race tours, missed calls, and a playful argument about communication styles.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• "You telling me on the air? This is crazy. This is crazy." —Bob [02:25]
• "Your entire life is a facade. Everything you do is a facade." —Bob [21:25]
• "I was obsessed with him. Like...I did his makeup for the Halloween costume, everything. I was obsessed with him." —Bob [39:18]
• “I'm not ashamed of my promiscuity.” —Bob [59:19]
• “Girl, you missing nothing going on up in here, honey.” —Bob [59:38]
• “You going to take the first semester. If you don’t like it, we’ll stop at the first semester. We’ve committed to the first semester.”—Monét [66:00]
• “I always say, if you call me and it’s not going through, just text, ‘Hey, I tried to call you.’”—Bob [76:54]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:40] — First real discussion on sexual health/STIs
• [18:43] — First major story: Catching a friend’s boyfriend on a hookup app
• [21:45] — Bob’s revelation about hooking up with a friend’s boyfriend
• [32:02] — Nick’s take on friends hooking up with exes
• [41:02] — Deep dive into love languages and what each host wants in a relationship
• [55:24] — On being a "race chaser": Drag Race fame and sexual dynamics
• [66:00] — Parenting roleplay—commitment and forcing kids to finish what they start
• [73:32] — KFC in the UK/Europe and final show tangents

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Tone & Style

• Playful, irreverent, dead-honest, and rooted in queer experience.
• Drag queen sharp wit; nothing is sacred, but the bond between Bob and Monét is palpable and woven throughout their gentle ribbing and storytelling.

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Summary

For fans and newcomers alike, "The One About Hookups" is a quintessential Sibling Rivalry episode—raunchy, genuine, and bustling with tales of love, sex, friendship, regret, and plenty of laughter. From soul-baring introspection about sex and aging to lighthearted debates about "race chasing" and love languages, Bob and Monét deliver insightful commentary while keeping things deeply personal and absolutely hilarious.

Transcript

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen

[Monet X Change]

and I'm Monet X Change.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And this is simply rivalry.

[Monet X Change]

On today's episode, Bob sucks his best friend's boyfriend's dick. We talk about hookups and we find out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You telling me on the air? This is crazy. This is crazy. And we found out what made Monet say this.

[Monet X Change]

It felt like I had to like everything we talked about before and like you saying it. And I'm like, oh, Bob, I flick. I put you back in your American bag. She got her little microphone, she got a little backdrop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When I moved over, I found this little. I travel with like a charging. Not a charging. I've traveled with like a. A surge protector, basically. I don't know if I'm using the right word. It's like one of those power strips

[Monet X Change]

with all the little plugs in it. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That way I can just plug all my American stuff into, which I probably shouldn't be doing. That's probably.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that doesn't, I think that's not, that's not wise, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I'm doing it. I don't know if you want to tell you. I'm gonna have, like. I mean, I, I. Because how is this different than having a strip, a power strip in the country? Like, how's it different?

[Monet X Change]

So outside of the states, like in St. Lucia, we have 110, we have 220. Certain outlets coming take up to 110 volts. Certain, certain ones can do 220. So, like, if you, you run the risk of over charging your thing and killing it if you use the wrong voltage on the thing. So I don't know how that all figured out. I don't know if that's the same in the UK, but St Lucia uses the same outlets as the UK, so I'm assuming there is some similarities. I don't know, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know either. I'm not in the uk, though. I'm in, I'm in Belgium.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I have seen certain plugs that are like. You can only plug in a hairdryer here. Literally only a hair dryer.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. So. Oh, I should give you my clogs. You can wear my clogs. You know, they don't seem comfortable, clogs, but mine are. They're like, they're not wooden. So then your feet aren't like, rocking around in them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I don't know what clogs you're talking about.

[Monet X Change]

My black clogs I had in that picture. The one that you made fun of me for.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Balenciaga clog. Yes. When I said.

[Monet X Change]

What are those? Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, they're not my style, but they look good on you and you seem to really enjoy them, and I don't want to take that from you. It's your thing.

[Monet X Change]

Well, while we can have a lot of things together, we share a lot of things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We do share things. Yes, we do. We share several things.

[Monet X Change]

Some venereal diseases.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I don't think we've ever shared one of those before. I mean, we probably had the same one, but I don't think we ever got it from each other.

[Monet X Change]

Have you? We have not. Have you ever had. Have we ever had an STD at the same time?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. I mean, I don't think so. I don't. I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I don't know either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When's the last time you had an sti?

[Monet X Change]

Probably two years ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, then. I mean, I'm Definitely way more recent than that.

[Monet X Change]

So I always tell someone this. I remember when I first started getting. Getting tested for STIs, and this is before they had a rapid HIV results or cause. That was like the big one, right? You make sure you get HIV tested. And I remember and regardless of if you. If you were positive or negative, they would call you into the office and you had to meet with someone, like, regardless. So. And I think. I don't remember. It wasn't. You didn't have to go home, but it was like you had to wait like an hour or like. So I guess it is rapid.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you mean you talking about, like, at the clinic?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, at the clinic. I would go down to the clinic in New York and this is in high school, and they would like. And you know, at the Gay Men's Health Crisis, because, you know, they wouldn't take. You don't have to give them any information. You have to give them, like, your gender, whatever. And like, you would get tested and they would. I can't remember if you went home and they call you back the next day or that same day. I don't remember. But it wasn't the quick one. Now it's in like a couple, like maybe two minutes back then. It definitely was not that it was like a long time, either a few hours or like the next day. And they will call you back in the room either way. And before they give you a result, they'll talk to you and they'll be like, so, you know, they'll talk to you about, like, how you've been having sex, about how ways to practice safe sex, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they give you the results at the end afterwards. But I remember, like, that was always, like, you were always sitting there like, like, what's, you know, it was, it was, it was. It was like putting knots in your stomach because they, like, they were like. They like, drum up this thing. And also they. They made hiv because for a lot of people, obviously it was a very scary disease and especially coming out of the 90s. So they really, like, made you, like, really, like, I feel like they made the whole experience feel very arduous to kind of like, scare you to have, like, safer sex. Because obviously you came to get tested because you may not have had safe sex.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I never got Tested from any SS until I was in my 20s.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I mean, I also was. I wasn't having sex like that in high school.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had, like, sex one time in high school. We were both virgins and then in college, I was just not, like, I. I did not get. I did not get around until. I didn't really start, like, getting around until, like, my late 20s.

[Monet X Change]

Getting around. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did not have a very slutty early 20s. Definitely not in my teens, and not Even really my mid-20s, to be honest. Like, I really just wasn't having a lot of sex up until, like, 30.

[Monet X Change]

In my early 20s, I just felt like sex was just so accessible, just so available, especially in New York City. Just feel like sex was, like, everywhere. Like, the Blue Store. Like, it just felt like sex was just over, always around. Like, always available.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think people were having sex in Atlanta. And also, bear in mind, I was living in New York City for a lot of this. I just wasn't very. I just wasn't sexually active in my early 20s. Just kind of. I mean, not that I wasn't having sex, just really not very often. Just, like, I would go months without having sex in my early 20s.

[Monet X Change]

Months. Early 20s, something. Oh, our. See, and I were talking, like, did you realize, like, a lot of, like, our songs from, like, high school and college? Jelly. People think they're not college maybe, but, like, high school. Like, they're oldies now. Like, Sierra 12 step kids, they call them oldies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, the song's 20 years old.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The song's 20 years old, Monet.

[Monet X Change]

I know, that's. I cannot believe it's that old, is what I'm saying. Like, I can't believe 127 came out 20 years ago. That seems crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. I don't know if that specific song came out 20 years ago, but roughly. It came out roughly 20 years ago, for sure. But I guess I've already kind of had this reckoning. There was, like, one or two songs. I was like, oh, no. And now I'm kind of like, oh, yeah, that.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

That.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That actually makes sense. So now I'm kind of like, of course NSYNC is an oldie. Of course Sierra's an oldie still came out 19 years ago. Of course, the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is an oldie. Of course. Any song with, you know, all those Timbaland songs, those Justin Timberlake songs, of course they're all oldies. Why wouldn't they be? Like. But I guess I just. I've already had this reckoning where I was like, oh, interesting.

[Monet X Change]

I try to think, like, what for me, in, like, my 2000, like, what was, like, an oldie song? Like, something that came out 20 years

[Bob the Drag Queen]

before that, I said a hip hop, a hibbit a hibbit to the hip hip hop and you don't stop a rocket to the bang bang.

[Monet X Change]

Because that would have been od. I would consider oldies like Patsy Cline, like songs like from like the 60s, and I would feel like oldies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We called 80s hip hop oldies. When I was in the 2000s, for sure. When I was in college, Run DMC was 100% oldies. This is not even up for debate that when in two. In the year 2000, run DMC was making was oldies. For where I'm from anyway.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, man, I don't think I have that experience. I don't remember. I can't remember anything. Yeah, interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, you guys thought that like 80s songs were not oldies in the early. You thought that, like AC DC is Back in Black was not an oldie in the early 2000s.

[Monet X Change]

I guess the language I would use, we wouldn't call it oldies. We're like, oh, it was just an 80s song. Because they're so representative of the time, like tonally and sonically. But I wouldn't say they were oldies. Like, to me, oldies were like 50s and 60s songs. Not necessarily just because. Not even 70s. I would have called it oldies. It's called a disco. Right. But I wouldn't call it oldies because even though it was from the 70s, it didn't feel old. It felt. It felt like. Not new, but it didn't feel like an oldie. Like Patsy Cline feels like an oldie song.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a very interesting take. I mean, oldies not a genre.

[Monet X Change]

I know. Well, is it? I think it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oldie is not a genre.

[Monet X Change]

Let's look it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oldies not a genre.

[Monet X Change]

Oldies,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like country's a genre. R and B is a genre. Rock and roll's a genre. Rap is a genre. Hip hop is a genre.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, you're right. Oldies is a term for musical genres such as pop rock. Yeah, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, how would odies Patsy Clown's country music?

[Monet X Change]

Is it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She didn't make. She didn't make oldies music. It wasn't called oldies when she made it.

[Monet X Change]

But sometimes, like, for it to be

[Bob the Drag Queen]

a genre, it has to be that genre when you're making it. You don't make oldies in the time things become oldies. But Patsy Cline is Pat. CL Is definitely a country musician. For sure.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't know that for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Contradiction.

[Monet X Change]

Crazy. I'm crazy. I don't know. Let me see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm pretty sure Patsy Cline does country.

[Monet X Change]

What genre? Cause crazy's not a country song. Patsy Cline. Patsy Cline. Oh, yeah. Country music singer.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's a country singer.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Virginia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thinking I'm fucking crazy.

[Monet X Change]

Virginia Patterson Hensley. She was born in 1932. She died in March. Oh, my God. She was only, like, 30. She's only 34. 30. 31 years old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How'd she die? I do not know how. Passive line.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Patsy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's probably like. Was it probably a health thing? Probably like a cancer or something, maybe, I'm assuming.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, little bit. Oh. She died at a 30 in a plane crash near Camden, Tennessee. Damn. I know the other part of me when I was younger. Cause it just felt, like, cool to. I wanted. I wanted. Okay, maybe not want to, but I was like, it would be dope if I was part of the 27 Club, but I had not done anything prolific yet enough to make dying at 27 fierce. So if I would have, in theory, if I did die at 27, it would have just been some. Some nigga just died. As opposed to, like, people like Kurt Cobain, like, all the other, like, 27 club people. Hendrix, like, they had achieved so much in their life that they're icons, you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hear a lot of people talking about dying these days, and it's alarming, to be honest. I'm just like, this is kind of wild.

[Monet X Change]

I think the older I get, I've just been. I've been so much more aware of my mortality as a human being. And, like, kind of like, even with, like, what the state of the world right now, it just feels like death feels more imminent than it has ever in my life before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I think in theory, death is always more imminent because you're constantly getting closer to it. So death is literally constantly more imminent.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the older you get, the more you're aware that this is all quite finite.

[Monet X Change]

But wrapping my brain around that. Yes, I know that. Like, and yes, theoretically, yes, I know that, but not theory. Like, yes, I know that to be true. But, like, with. As I've gotten older and wiser and realizing, like, what death actually means and what it would mean when I'm gone, like, it feels. Feels like a more tangible, real thing the older I get. And I think you're describing aging, right? And then so it. I. I want to say it's, like, less scary. I think if I was on the precipice of dying or it was about to happen, I'm sure it would feel way scarier. But right now, in this moment, it doesn't seem as scary as it did. Like, you know, five years ago. Like it just feels like. Yeah, yeah. You know, did you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think I. I think maybe. I know. I think maybe you're saying you're, you're, you're more. You are more in acceptance of death now than you were back in the day. Is that what you're saying?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you know Seth MacFarlane was supposed to be on the 911 flight that hit the World Trade Center?

[Monet X Change]

I. I didn't hear what you said.

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Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Seth MacFarlane was supposed to be on the flight that hit the World Trade Center.

[Monet X Change]

And why didn't he get on?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was late by 10 minutes. He got to the gate 10 minutes late and it was. And had closed and he had overslept by from drinking the night before and he was literally supposed to be on the plane.

[Monet X Change]

We would never gotten Family Guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Family Guy already come out by that point.

[Monet X Change]

I think did it in 2001.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Pretty sure family guy come out before. Before. Before 2001. I'm almost positive Family.

[Monet X Change]

Family Guy was. Is that old?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have an oldie. Family 1999.

[Monet X Change]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So we still got Family Guy. Maybe we wouldn't have gotten American Dad.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, we would have gotten Roger, which

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think we could be. I mean, American Dad's cool, but I mean, we probably would have been fine without American Dad.

[Monet X Change]

Or the Cleveland Show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or the Cleveland Show. I just can't. I just found that out recently. That's really wild. And it's like pretty documented that he was like supposed to be on a fight. That is just really bananas to me. And he's kind of like, well, everyone has near this. He's like, everyone has near death experiences like all the time. It's just that I happen to be. My near death experience happened to be a really famous one.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What a wild concept, honestly. Really wild.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, we talked about before how that fucking roast of Rob Lowe with Pete Davis on there and all the jokes about his dad dying on 911 are so wild. But you know, he's clearly okay with it. But I feel like that would still sting for me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know if he's okay with it. I mean, I have no clue. I mean, I found out that John Rivers wasn't okay with her roast after the roast happened, right?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm like, what?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was he okay with it? Also, Arcia says she's not flat footed. Total side note when she commented on our Instagram and said, I am not flat footed.

[Monet X Change]

Let me tell you something, I've seen Arcia's feet? Arcia is absolutely flat footed, you know,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know that I've looked at Marcia's feet in great detail. I'm just reporting back from the from the lady who wore she said on Instagram we should talk more. Let's talk. Let's give some advice when we get back.

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[Monet X Change]

Oh, something we talked about on the episode. Okay, this is a scenario, right? Here we go. So I'm in college. I'm in the closet. Arcia is dating someone and he's apparently also in the closet. I don't know that he's. I don't know that he is in

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Marcia dating a gay man. Plot twist, right? Shocker alert.

[Monet X Change]

So I go on Adam for Adam and I see a profile picture and

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, gay in college?

[Monet X Change]

No, she was not gay. RC has only been gay for the past two years. And then so I see a profile picture on Adam for Adam, someone close by, and I'm like, I Recognize that bedspread and that headboard that looks so familiar? Come to find out it's Arcia's boyfriend. He's on Adam for Adam. And so now I have this dilemma, right? I'm like, so do I tell Arcia that her boyfriend is on this hookup

[Bob the Drag Queen]

app, or do I fuck him? Which one do I do? I don't know what to do, guys.

[Monet X Change]

Or do I out. Cause telling him gargle his balls and

[Bob the Drag Queen]

slurp up that juice.

[Monet X Change]

Telling Garcia is outing him. Also outing myself, because I'm on the app and I, like, have. And, like, I'm like. I'm like, were they exclusive? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were. Yes, yes, 100%.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. You said yes as if it was definitive.

[Monet X Change]

I don't for sure. Yes, they were absolutely exclusive.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know?

[Monet X Change]

But also, let me add this caveat. Knowing Arcia, Bob Arcea is my man. Man, man, man, man. And as we find out, when Arcia does find out, RC is still with her man.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Her man.

[Monet X Change]

Her man. You know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I told people I don't fuck with people relationships. I don't get involved in people's relationships, their relationship with their business. I feel like if I had a certain friend who was being cheated on, depending on who the friend is, I would tell them. And if me and the friend are, like, acquaintances, I wouldn't. I would not even bet. I would just keep booting and scooting about my business because maybe they have a thing set up that is their business. And I don't think that it's my job to be like, yo, ban cheating.

[Monet X Change]

But then you would out yourself. Cause it was like, well, how did you know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said I wouldn't have said anything.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no. But listen, this is your best friend. You and RC Are best friends.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, oh, I mean, I don't think I would have been. I wouldn't have been in the closet. I mean, this is a hard scenario.

[Monet X Change]

You are in the closet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a lot of mental gymnastics to create this scenario where I was in the closet with my best friend in college and their boyfriend's gay. It's a lot of. I have to go through a lot of hoops to make this reality. But chances are if I was in the closet, I wouldn't have said anything, right?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because when you're in the closet, you're not operating from a place of like, of honesty or any level of sincerity. Your entire life is a facade. Everything you do is a facade.

[Monet X Change]

Right. That was literally my situation. I'm like, I want to tell her, but bitch, then I'm out of myself. I'm outing. And also, I felt some type of like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That being said, I did suck my best friend's dick in college, and I didn't tell. You did my best friend's boyfriend. I told the podcast one time.

[Monet X Change]

No, you did not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One time I was like, in bed, and then, like, I just felt someone, like, crawling in my bed, and I was like. I was like, like, imagine you're waking up. You're like, what is. Like, what is going.

[Monet X Change]

You have so many interactions while you're asleep. This is insane.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do what?

[Monet X Change]

You have so many interactions with Abed and sleep, and you've been surprised.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, what is happening? And then he was like, shh. And I was like. I was like, alicia's room is on the other. It's literally on the other side. Like, go to the other side. He was like, no, no, no, I'm drunk. And I was like, okay. Well, I was like, well, sleep. I had this ab lounge. I was like, well, sleep in the ab lounge or. Or go to Alicia's bed. Like, literally just go across the hallway. He was like, no, no, no. And then he started, like, trying to cuddle me, and I was like, what is happening right now? And then he just whipped it out and was like. And I was like,

[Monet X Change]

You have never told me this story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then he finished his business, and he just. Then he. All of a sudden, he sobered up and went back across the hall. Was like, all right, holla at you.

[Monet X Change]

Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

I never. Alicia.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If Alicia finds out, it's because she's hearing me say right here on this podcast, I have never told Alicia this. I have never told her this, ever. I have. No, I don't think I've ever told anyone this. I think this is the first time I've ever seen it out loud, actually.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob, can you mute?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Isn't that crazy? Oh, God, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, wait. Many questions. How long was she with this person?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe a couple of months. Maybe a year, maybe.

[Monet X Change]

Was it Dick Nyes?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was beautiful. Yeah, it was really great. Really beautiful. I really enjoyed it. I really had fun doing what I was doing.

[Monet X Change]

Did you receive his nutrients or did you split it back up?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm pretty sure I did. Like, I'm almost positive I did actually work. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, next scenario. We're away camping. You and I don't like camping, but both are. Jacob likes camping for some reason. Jacob and Andy, we're all Camping. And then. And then I am on a hike. It's nighttime. I'm on a walk for the next two hours. And Jake. Jake and I are going to walk. And then Andy crawls into your. Andy crawls.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Go back to you. Go back to your tent.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Go back to your tent, Andy. Andy, go back to your tent.

[Monet X Change]

No. No. Just. No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy, I'm not. Kevin, go back to your tent. I. I know you and Kevin didn't have this conversation. You and Kevin didn't have this conversation. And if. And if y' all did, and this is something y'. All. I'm not interested. Go back to your time. Come on, just chill, man.

[Monet X Change]

Just chill.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm gonna chill when you go back to your tent. Go back to your tent. First of all, how did y' all convince me to come to the woods? Let's have that conversation.

[Monet X Change]

How did they convince me to go to the woods?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's. Let's start with this conversation. Obviously, this is something. This is some collusion between you and Jacob, if you got me and Monet in the woods.

[Monet X Change]

Well, we made.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bob.

[Monet X Change]

Bob, we made plans. We made plans last to go to the woods.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Clearly. Clearly, Jacob and Andy have. Have planned this. And somehow Andy convinced Jacob that Jacob would have never asked me to come to the woods. So somehow you have convinced Jacob to get us in the woods, and now you're climbing in my bed. Andy, you need to go back to your bed. And, and, and just so you know, as soon as Monet gets back, we're having a conversation.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no, no. Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Upon returning.

[Monet X Change]

Bob, come

[Advertisement Voice 3]

mo.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Mo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What?

[Monet X Change]

What happened?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy is in my tent trying to fuck, girl. This is crazy. You gotta touch my bed. That's the scenario. You remember when I told you that your ex fucked Patty?

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. I knew that, by the way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't know you knew, but the moment I found out, the moment I found out, I ran and told you.

[Monet X Change]

And you knew.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was like. It was the instant I was like, this is. This is crazy. This is insane. And Layla McQueen.

[Monet X Change]

No, him and Layla didn't fuck.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They fooled around.

[Monet X Change]

They fooled around. They didn't fuck.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Though I'm screaming.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, Jacob, you're going to say something. He said, okay. Then nothing happened.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Okay. It's 100 years in the future, Bob. Monet has just passed away. Her husband comes to your hotel room looking for comfort. Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm old as hell.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I'm old. I'm rarely getting laid. It's going down.

[Advertisement Voice]

I'm old.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't get Laid very often. Oh, immediately.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I'm dead. Whatever. I'm dead. I'm dead.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How am I supposed to mourn?

[Monet X Change]

Okay, here's a question. Would you. Would you have sex with a friend,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

by the way, When I'm old. At a certain age, I'm just gonna be. Start getting hookers often.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think I would want to have sex that much when I'm old. Like, I just don't think that's gonna

[Bob the Drag Queen]

be part of my thing. I mean, I think as often as I wanna hook up, I'm not. When I'm over a certain age, I'm not. I'm not going on Grindr, right? I got. I'm gonna have three or four guys I call and. And we're gonna have a. A nice transaction.

[Monet X Change]

Would you. An ex's like an ex and a friend's not ex, but, like, divorce. Like someone they were married to their ex.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like ex husband. Like ex husband. Xy.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It depends on who it is. Work. Who's the friend?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

This.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is all. This is all very important. Who's the friend? Who's the ex?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Mateo and his ex.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Mateo just aren't interested in the same kind of guys at all. And also, even if. Even if somehow Mateo just started really being into, like, feminine fags out of nowhere. Flimsy feminine fags out of nowhere. I would never. Because Mateo would.

[Monet X Change]

Mateo would. It would. It would. It would. It was. It would be.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mateo once cried because I looked at his boyfriend's. His ex boyfriend's Instagram. It would be. And I need you to know I'm not kidding. I literally looked at his ex boyfriend's Instagram and Mateo started crying.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, context. They broke up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said he was ex.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Well, you're making it sound like he.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

He was crying out of jealousy that you were looking at the profile. And I just clarify that he was crying because what happened. Back up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What happened was they were. They were broken up and Matteo was like. My ex was really skinny. I was like, he was skinny. I don't remember him being that skinny and was like. He was really skinny. Let me see. And then I looked up his profile and Mateo started crying.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you cannot fuck Mateo's ex husband. That would be like, no good. What about Nick?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I would fucking Exactly. Husband for sure.

[Monet X Change]

Do you think Nick will be okay with that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think Nick will care. I really don't think Nick will care. I really don't.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna call Nick Smith right now. Okay, let's Take bets. I think Nick will care. Jacob, what do you think?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Nick's not gonna care beyond it.

[Monet X Change]

Better than me, though, so we'll see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Nick won't even care a little bit.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

But also, Nick's not married, so he also is putting himself in that situation. So he. I would say his hypothetical answer would be no, but.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you have another person? Jacob, your call has been forwarded to

[Advertisement Voice 2]

an automated voice messaging system.

[Monet X Change]

I'm gonna leave a message to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Nick not available.

[Monet X Change]

Watch this.

[Advertisement Voice 3]

At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options.

[Monet X Change]

Listen to me, you white devil. The next time you, you. You end, you press the block button on me. It's gonna be your last motherfucking day. Sent. You hear me? Call me back when you get this motherf. Voicemail. We're on the podcast. All right, bye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This message for Rachel, you big, fat, white, nasty smelling fat. Why you took me off the schedule? Trifling, dirty, right racist ass. Big fat oopa Loompa body ass.

[Monet X Change]

He literally said, hey, I'm sorry, I can't answer. I'm at the dentist office.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's right. Nick is. Nick isn't getting oral surgery right now. I can almost guarantee that Nick would not care. I can't. I can't fathom more when Nick would care about that, to be honest.

[Monet X Change]

What about Patty?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Patty is.

[Monet X Change]

Patty will go either way. Either he really won't care or he'll be really upset.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would I hook up on a Patty?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Would you be annoyed if somebody hooked up with your ex?

[Monet X Change]

Bob wouldn't care.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wouldn't care now.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, okay, okay. What if you and. What if you and Jacob broke up? We got a long term partnership and me and. Me and Jacob hook up. You wouldn't care, Bob. Yes, you would.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You love to tell me what I feel.

[Advertisement Voice 2]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You love to tell me my film. I think your favorite thing is to tell me my feelings. And then when I tell you what my feelings are, you go, nope, you wouldn't care. So I would be like, so what. What's the. What's the scenario? Can you give me the scenario?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. We're. Oh, Nick is calling right back.

[Advertisement Voice 2]

Nick.

[Monet X Change]

Nick is coming back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The circumstances matter.

[Monet X Change]

Hi, Nick. You're on the podcast. How are you? Good. I'm sitting in the oral surgeon's office. Okay. I hope you feel better. We have a quick question for you. Okay. If you were. If you had an ex husband, would you be mad if Bob hooked up with your Ex husband. If he asked me first, I wouldn't. Oh, but if he did it. But if he didn't ask you, you would. You would have a problem with that? If he didn't ask me, I would have a problem.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Work.

[Monet X Change]

You hear that, Bob?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can hear you.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, thank you, Nick. Love you so much. Bye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, love you.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Bye.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, no. Would you ask permission? Like, I guess I would even. Yeah, I guess if it's a friend, I would ask. I don't know, it depends on if it's, like, at a sex party or, like, something. Like, if I found.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I'd basically be like, hey, so and so, hit me up on Instagram and trying to slide in my DMs.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, what if you're at a party and it's just like a quick hookup thing at a party?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I've. I've never. I've. I've only hooked up with one person randomly in my entire life.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One? Two. Two people.

[Advertisement Voice 2]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And one of them. I will never forget this, ever. He was wearing this kente cloth vest that I was obsessed with. It was so fucking Pelosi point. And then I was like, ooh, I love this vest. And then we were, like, kind of flirting back and forth, and then we were just like, he was cute. I mean, it wasn't just for the vest. He was really. He was really, really cute. And the vest didn't fit me. I was very skinny at the time. He was a little bigger than I was, and he took the vest off and I kept like, I am this vest. And then I don't like to play music while I'm hooking up at all. I'm just not into music while hooking up. I really like to hook up in completely silen.

[Monet X Change]

Wow. We are so sexually incompatible. Like, I need not all the time, but I need, like, a little something sometimes.

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[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of

[Monet X Change]

unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

So I thought it would be fun

[Monet X Change]

if we made $15 bills, but it

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

turns out that's very illegal.

[Monet X Change]

So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Advertisement Voice 2]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want a playlist. I don't want a playlist. So he wanted to play a playlist. And the very first song he played was my pussy tastes like Pepsi. I was like, by the way, I had never heard that song in my life. I didn't. I at the time, at that time, I couldn't have named it Lana Del Rey song if you begged me to. If you told me you give me a million dollars, I'd be like, damn, I can't wait. I just lost out on a million dollars. This is crazy. And he played the Pepsi Cola pussy song.

[Monet X Change]

Did you taste it? And I remember, did it taste like Pepsi Cola?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I had a lot of fun with him and I don't know where he is today and if he's listening. But I want you to know that despite the playlist, I did have a lot of fun with you that night. We met at the, at the Stonewall or the Monster. Somewhere in the area. We either met the Stonewall or the other Monster.

[Monet X Change]

So you weren't in drag?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was undragged. And the other guy was. Oh, you never met this guy. You never met him. He was this ballet dancer that I was like obsessed with. We met at the Ritz and I was like, I was like literally obsessed with him. Like it was, it was, this was, this was a full on obsession.

[Monet X Change]

Interesting.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

What about Cracker and the guy at Lucky Chains.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, Cracker was also a random. Cracker was a random. That was, that was a bookcase moving. That was a random. Yes. And the Lucky Chains guy. I mean, I sucked at dick in the bathroom. But like, that was, it was so quick. I mean it was, it was like literally like three slurps. And I was like, I can't do this.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, no, you stop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it was like, it was, it was like 1, 2, 3. And I was like, I gotta go back to work. This is uncomfortable. Like, I mean, like, I was like, that was my first time ever hooking up. My only time I broken up in drag. And I was like, this is literally, I just can't. And I have tables waiting.

[Monet X Change]

Oh my God. I, I use, I, I, I used to really be into cruising. I thought cruising was really hot that I, I hooked up with a lot of people in drag. And it would happen especially all over there on 10th Avenue. Like, I told you where Hardware was because there was a T girl bar around the corner from Hardware. So we get like a lot of flow over Fairy Tale Lounge. So we had a lot of flow over of dudes who didn't find luck there. So they would come or they just wanted to come to Hardware. So I would hook up with a lot. I would finish my gig, especially the ones when I didn't get too sweaty and too crazy, and I would pick up a guy right there, drive them up to my place or hook up somewhere in the area often.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I used to. I mean, there were a lot of chasers who would come to Lucky Chang's, but I only ever fool with one of them one time. Did I ever tell you about the ballet? Wait, did I ever tell you about the belly dancer? Sorry?

[Monet X Change]

About the ballet dancer. I think you tried to show me this picture one time where you do. Tell me about him. Yeah, do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like a light skinned black dude. Really, really muscly. And he had cornrows.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Well, he wasn't really muscle. That's not, that's not, he was very tone, very tone.

[Monet X Change]

He's a ballet dancer. Like, tone, tone as I was, I

[Bob the Drag Queen]

was, I was obsessed with him. Like, I remember one time making him a, a houndstooth black swan ballet like costume. It was like I was, that was how it says. I was like, I went and did all this, this was crazy. I literally went and did all the shopping, made this entire costume and just like bought it to him. I did his, I did his makeup for the Halloween costume. Everything I Was obsessed with him. And. But this one guy, he was just really into being admired. Like, I think that he liked being admired more than he liked me. And I remember one time he would come to my shows. I met him at the Ritz out of drag. I still remember what I was wearing. So I was wearing these. I don't know if you remember. I used to have these, like, dress pants, but I had cut them into capris and had sewn them up. And I was wearing a gray tank top, a pearl necklace, and a bowler with some pumps.

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember this outfit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's what I was wearing when I met him. And at one time, he. He came to. He came to Barracuda to see me perform and, like, hang out. We were like. We're, like, low key. We were, like, kind of dating for, like, a couple of months, but, like, it was unofficial. We're just, like, seeing each other a lot. You know what I mean? Is that dating?

[Monet X Change]

That is dating.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. We weren't boyfriends, but we were, like, seeing each other.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, like, sleeping and sleeping, as he was sleeping in my place sometimes. And then one day I was at the bar and he. I was like. I was, like, leaving or something. Like, I had just gotten to the bar or something, and he was at the bar. He was just like. So, I mean, when I say. Surrounded by these, like, older guys who were all. There must have been like four or five of them all just, like, rubbing his body and like, smelling him.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, he liked him. That was his thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he was. And he was just being admired. I mean, they were like. They were falling over him.

[Monet X Change]

Interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With good reason. He was so beautiful. He was so beautiful. I mean, I probably would have been one of the ones, except. And I was like. And he saw me. He was like, hey, Caldwell. I was like, hey. And he was like. He was just. He was looking so happy to have all these men just, like, rubbing him and, like. But he was holding, like, he had, like, two drinks in his hand. I probably made that part up. But he was like, like. I know.

[Monet X Change]

Smoking a long cigarette. Let's put pink breath, the cigarette.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, literally, he was. He had this, like, kind of like a. Like a. Like a cleft. A cleft chin.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Those are so handsome. He had a great beard. A beautiful beard. And just like a. I was obsessed with someone like that now. Chicken.

[Monet X Change]

Could you date someone like that now? Now that you're in, like, a different space?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So do you remember. I really shouldn't say this, because this guy's gonna know, but you and I were talking about a guy that you ran into that I hook up with a lot.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I feel like he's gonna hear this.

[Monet X Change]

Probably we going back to say their

[Bob the Drag Queen]

names, but I'm not saying, I'm not saying his name, but, but he, you know, I feel like one of the reasons why he and I like, are like hookup buddies and we couldn't like, date is because, like, I, I really need someone to affirm me and my beauty when we're together. Like, I need to feel like you think I'm like, super hot. That has to be, that has to be part of our experience together. Like, it can't be just me giving you all the compliments and you not giving me any. I'm going to need some words of affirmation. I need that. I need to feel like you think I'm beautiful. And I think that I tend to attract people who are attracted to personalities and not necessarily attracted to like, I feel like I tend to attract people who are like, who just who love personalities more than they're obsessed over looks. Does that make any sense?

[Monet X Change]

You, you are, you attract people who are into personalities. Not necessary looks.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I think that once they get to know me, they start to find me physically attractive because of how much they are attracted to my personality.

[Monet X Change]

Got it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean? Yeah, but, but I do think they do find me attractive. Yeah, I'm not saying like they think I'm troll, but like, have you ever like dated someone and like once you get to know them, you find them even though you found them attractive to begin with, they are like so beautiful now because you're like in love with them and you're like dating them and you like get to another personality and if they were like a 8 before, they're a 10 now because you're like, wow, I didn't know their person. I was just. This personality is so great. And I think that a big part of my, I think a big part of my appeal is my personality.

[Monet X Change]

I think, I think for me, typically I go for looks and then. But what keeps me and what keeps me engaged is someone's mind. And like, I find it very even with like a lot of my friends. I mean, not I choose friends based on looks, but like, what. All of my friends who I've had long term friendships with over a long period of time, I really find their minds interesting and their personalities. I guess that's, that's what, that's how you, that's how you maintain a Friendship. I don't even know like, how. What other way would you maintain a friendship?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that guy you ran into, He's. He's really hot. He's. I'm. He's beautiful. He is. He is beautiful.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, can I. Can I complain about something?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Complain.

[Monet X Change]

Come clean.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What, did you hook up with him? Did you really? Who are you gonna tell me? I'm telling you right now. I didn't.

[Monet X Change]

We had.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We had this whole conversation on the air. This is crazy.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

This is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is. This is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

It felt like I had to, like everything we talked about before and, like, you saying it, and I'm like. And you say you wouldn't be mad, so I'm like,

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

he can settle the debate about whose son's dick better.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not mad, but this is crazy that you're coming clean at this particular point in time. That I am. Shook. Shook. S H O O K. Shook. How was your experience?

[Monet X Change]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I didn't. I just felt like. It felt like it was a good bit. I would have. I would have, but I did not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And honestly, I recommend it. He's so beautiful.

[Monet X Change]

He is very beautiful. I would have. I feel like I would have really enjoyed myself.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you don't strike me as someone who likes to do a lot of admiring.

[Monet X Change]

I don't. I mean, sexually. I'm into, like, body contact. I like. I like, like, in, like, admiring, like,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like, like body worshiping, like, being like, oh, you. You look at your body, it's like your body's so great.

[Monet X Change]

Sexually. Yes. Only in a sexual, like, manner, though. Like, not like, just like, we had the bar. I mean, we had the bar too. My partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I like to tell my partner how great their body looks like. I like to give specific compliments about their bodies and be like, wow, that looks so sexy.

[Monet X Change]

I do that too. I do that too. So we were interesting. We were talking about love languages and, like, what you was kind of saying earlier, it seems like, like your top love language is. Is acts of service.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Words of affirmation.

[Monet X Change]

Words of affirmation. But when you. When you're courting someone, you're, like, doing a lot of stuff. Like that ballet dad guy. You're, like, making stuff for them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean what I do for them, What I like to receive, you do for people. I love acts of service. I love. And I love grand gestures.

[Monet X Change]

You do. You do acts of service for me as often as well?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I love acts of service and I love grand gestures. So, like, if, if I have an opportunity to like, come to see you in the, in the opera or, or if I can go get someone a, a gift or if I can, or if I can, you know, make a night special. I love grand gestures. Is that, is that one of the love languages?

[Monet X Change]

Grand dress. Grand gestures would fall under acts of service.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Acts of service.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I love acts of service. And I also love to. And I like to give words of affirmation. I like to tell my friends that they're doing a good job or something, that I'm proud of them or, or stuff like that. Yeah. And I like to receive words of affirmation. And I don't really need acts of service, to be honest. Well, that's not true. You know, Jacob does a lot of acts of service for me and I really appreciate it. Like, I didn't realize I liked it until Jacob started doing it. I was like, oh my God, this is so great. Like, I will come in and Jacob will like, order my favorite meal and he'll like, do stuff and it feels nice.

[Monet X Change]

What's at the, what's at the bottom of your list?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know what the languages all are. What are they?

[Monet X Change]

Acts of service. Acts of service.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're getting emotional. Think about how nice Jacob is to me. Oh, my little Roberta. He's very sweet to me. Oh, this is so cute.

[Monet X Change]

Let me tell you something. All these little podcasts that you don't be here because whatever, bitch. I say one thing, Jacob, little camera click on. He like, so for my man, about my man, let me say, I feel like, calm down, boo. It's not all that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, well, Jacob is Dick was my baby.

[Monet X Change]

What did I say? Oh, yeah. It's acts of service, quality time gifts.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I'm not a quality time girl. Woo. I'm not a quality time. I'm like, nigga, go do something. Damn. Did you do something? There's gotta be something for you to do that don't involve me. Jesus. That's the bottom.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I should hear the rest of the list though.

[Monet X Change]

It's act of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The bottom of the list is quality time. You gotta go do something. You need to go do something. Please, I'm begging you to go do something that doesn't involve me. I'm screaming, please.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know what mine is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this on the podcast. And Jacob, we can edit out if I need to, but Jacob's like, seeing someone else and having time in my home by myself is like, this shit is fucking. It's so amazing. I didn't even know life could be this great. But I also love when Jacob's home. But when I be home by myself, like, I am up in this house by myself. Look at me.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I think I like, look at

[Bob the Drag Queen]

me up in this house by my. Jacob, are you there? Are you there, Jacob?

[Monet X Change]

Jacob's over.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

I feel it. When you were dating somebody else and you were at their house, I was here. Look at. Having a great time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's so great.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

You get a house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I can like, listen to music in every room. I can also something Jacob does that is. That is truly insane. And someone else. Who? Someone else. I met someone on tour who does the same thing. And I'd be like, this is crazy. Like, I think I can't remember who on tour does it, but if I am watching it, if I'm watching a TikTok, Jacob would just sit directly next to me and watch his own tiktoks at full volume. I'm like, this is, this is crazy. I feel like I can't hear my tiktoks. This is, this is crazy. And Jake would be like, I want

[Monet X Change]

to sit next to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'd be like, okay. So then I just end up watching his tiktoks. I mean, our algorithms are very similar, so I just end up watching his tiktoks on his phone. But then Jacob scrolls so fast. Jacob, like, I will watch. Jacob knows about me. Even if something's bad, I will finish it. Uh huh. Even sad, even like a bad. Even a bad movie. I've walked out of. Maybe. I think I walked out of one movie my entire life. 1.

[Monet X Change]

What about bad Hookup? Would you finish that to the end too? Yes, I have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, not if it's painful, but if it's like. If it's like, fine. But if it's like, if you ever got some bad head, I will stop the bad head.

[Monet X Change]

I would stop it and move to another activity. But I wouldn't like, be like, okay, you gotta go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or sometimes I'd be like, sometimes I'd be like this. How can we get you where you need to be like, like, like, like if I'm having a hookup, it's not great. I'll be like, let's get you to come so you can like, let's get you to bust that nut so I can get the fuck out of here. Because I'm. I'm not gonna. I'M not gonna do my thing, and I'll just come.

[Monet X Change]

So I don't. So they don't feel bad, but also, like, jesus Christ. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was just such that. That sentence was insane. I've never heard that sentence in my life. And I just. It took a lot to process outcomes so they don't feel bad. That was crazy.

[Monet X Change]

Because, you know, when someone. You know, you can tell they're really trying their best. They're just not equipped to do the job properly or they're not good, you're like. And, you know, they're trying their best. I was like, I'll just come. So they don't, like, beat themselves up about this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can also say, I don't need to come.

[Monet X Change]

I said that too. But, you know, some people, like, well, didn't you get this? Like, if you come and make me come, I'm like, okay, your turn. Red light, green light.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I also. Whenever I'm, like, doing my business, I can. I can come, like, whenever I need to. I can come in an hour or in three minutes. Which one? What do we need? Whichever one we need to do. I will make that. That be the thing.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Jacob was setting up a scenario.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh. Oh.

[Monet X Change]

So, yeah. So you and Jacob have broken up. You. You guys were married, you've broken up, and then Jacob and I are at a party, and we ended up hooking up. And I tell you afterwards.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How long have we been. How long have we been apart?

[Monet X Change]

Six months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are Jacob and I still friends?

[Monet X Change]

You're. Okay. You're not enemies, but you're not, like, talking every day. You're amicable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just couldn't imagine a world where Jacob and I would break up and not talk all the time. But then again, I said that. I said that before. I just couldn't imagine Jacob and I be like, not that be. Wow. But so Jacob and I, like, how often, like, like, could you. Could you equate me and Jacob's friendship to someone else's? All this matters.

[Monet X Change]

It's like, you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it like, me and Naomi? No, like, you and me and Naomi.

[Monet X Change]

Like, this is my scenario. This is. This is you and Plastique.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, Jesus. Me and Plastique, we, like, hardly ever talk, but y'.

[Monet X Change]

All. But y' all are cordial. Y' all not enemies. Like, y' all don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, we're friends, but we. Plastique and I really don't speak very often.

[Monet X Change]

That's you and Jacob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God. Damn. Me and Jacob must have had a rough breakup. God damn.

[Monet X Change]

It wasn't rough, but Jacob. To separate and to just move on. Jacob needed to really distance himself from you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

God damn.

[Monet X Change]

But still be fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, and how. And how long we working for? How many years?

[Monet X Change]

Six months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Six months?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you're the party that Jacob's at. And y'. All.

[Monet X Change]

We went into the courtroom at the same time. We both went to Guy Ra coats. Our hands touched, and we just end up fucking on the coats.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

It was our birthday.

[Monet X Change]

Our birthday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because they share a birthday. You guys do share a birthday. February 19th. You know, I think that I would be like, oh, wow, I can't believe that happened. I'm a little shocked, and maybe I wish that you would have told me that you were gonna do that, but. Do you guys like each other? Monet, are you, like. Or was it just for fun?

[Monet X Change]

It was just fine. It was just a hookup.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think you're gonna do it again? I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob has now moved to Anchorage, so I don't know when I'm gonna see him again. But.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, like, are you, like. Did you text him afterwards, or have you guys communicated afterwards about it?

[Monet X Change]

Yo, we did a podcast earlier, so that's why I feel like I should tell you. Cause the energy was awkward and, you know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, you and. You and Jacob did a podcast together?

[Monet X Change]

No, he used. He used the managing hours. So.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So. So I talk to him more frequently than I talk to plastique.

[Monet X Change]

You would say, only when it comes to work. Like, you guys aren't texting.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

So I see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw. I see Jacob multiple times a week at this point. Wow. That. Okay, this is. This is new information. I didn't know we still had a podcast. And I just talked to Jacob probably two days ago, so that is. That is. That is news.

[Monet X Change]

So that energy. The word energy, I think that's what you were like. You kept saying. You kept on saying, guys, what's going on? And he kept on saying nothing. I think that's what you were feeling.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got it. Well, y' all are adults, and that is a little bit alarming. But, I mean, you know, he's not my. He's not my property. Like, Jacob doesn't belong to me. And as long as you two are both consenting, I mean, you know, pop off.

[Monet X Change]

Are you mad at me?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How would you feel if I fucked your ex? I mean, he's. He's a race chaser, so I probably stand a chance.

[Monet X Change]

He's not a race chaser.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How many drag race girls you gotta fuck for Your race dresser.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, he only had. He only had sex with one drag race girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How many. How many regulars can I hook up with for your race tracer?

[Monet X Change]

I don't think him and Layla hooked up. I think they just, like, flirted. I don't think there was even any. I don't think so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is not. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. I'm not asking you. I am telling you they hooked up.

[Monet X Change]

Interesting. I. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would ask you your experience, and that was so long ago. I. I genuinely be like, work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, that was the number of. What's the number of drag race girls you have to hook up with before you're a race chaser? Bitch. I might be a race chaser.

[Monet X Change]

I would say three or more like after three, you try to put the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

number underneath your amount so you know

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

they got on the. On the show.

[Monet X Change]

What you said, Jacob, does it count

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

if you hooked up before they got on the show?

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't think so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, then I'm not a race racer at all.

[Monet X Change]

Then you haven't hooked up with. Yes. Dahlia. Sin. Wasn't that after she's on the show?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Interesting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was on the show. Maybe she's a Richest.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, how many dragon have you hooked up with?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just two.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I would say. Would you say after three, then it's like, all right, this is. This is a pattern. Wait, why are you laughing? Wait, what's so funny, Jacob? Is he frozen for you too, or just me?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

I. I don't think he's frozen. I think he's just laughing.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, what. What did I miss? What just happened?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

I'm being real. I also missed something, and the connection is blacking screen out. But I don't know what he thinks this.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I don't know either. I don't get it, Ben. Just laughing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know what the amount is before you become a race chaser. I don't know what the amount is before you become a race chaser. I think, I think, I think. Because three. I think three.

[Monet X Change]

Because you're like, all right, does an

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

assistant count as a half?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Assistance are race chasing? No, I think assistants are race chasing.

[Monet X Change]

Like, if you. If you an assistant.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's right. In my opinion, if you have, like, three different drag race girls assistants, you're race chasing, in my opinion.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a pattern.

[Monet X Change]

I can see that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Right?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also, do you.

[Monet X Change]

What? Oh, God. What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How would you feel hooking up with someone who, you know is, like, into hooking up with Drag Race girls, specifically Drag Race girls. If.

[Monet X Change]

How would I feel hooking up with someone who only hooks up with Drag

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Race girls, not only who, you know, likes to hook up? Like, I hooked up with one person who. I don't know if he likes to go with Drag Race girls. But, like, as we were hooking up, he looked at me. He was like. He was like. Like, Like, I got to his house, and he was like, by the way, like, don't. I'm not gonna be awkward. Detox me once. And I was like. I was like, that was. You offer that of your own volition. That was wild. That was wild how you just offered that information. I'm screaming because I think.

[Monet X Change]

Because I think a lot of guys, they think we have this, like, in a network of, like. Like, once we hook up with one of them, we send it to the other girls. I'm like, girl, just so you know, in Arkansas, like, I think a lot of dudes really think that. I'm like, baby, we should start that, though.

[Advertisement Voice 3]

Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We should start that. If you want to be part of the Slurpee, the drag race Slurpee, Slurp club, we can. We can start a WhatsApp. And then whenever the queen gets the town, if you want a Slurpee Slurp, honestly, it's a win. Win.

[Monet X Change]

No, I think that's what they think. And I'm like, that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or is that horrible?

[Monet X Change]

It's not horrible, because I think there's some guys who write who would really like that. I think that some guys would.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We do one piece of advice at the end of the episode and still call it Advisor.

[Monet X Change]

You know what? This is the one without a topic. We haven't done that in so long. And this was great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is a nice little one about hooking up. Let's do one piece of advice at the very end.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Okay, Let me find a good one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, Monanya, I feel like I've talked a lot about my sexual proclivities, and you've been very modest this episode, Bob.

[Monet X Change]

I have. Cause every episode, I'm talking about something. And you. I always talk about my sexual proclivities here. Is there something you'd like to know?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying, this episode, it's been a lot of focusing on me and my. My. My promiscuity, which I'm. I'm not ashamed of my promiscuity.

[Monet X Change]

You know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say this. I have been a nun bitch, and by none, I mean getting none. I have been, girl, nothing.

[Advertisement Voice 3]

Girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You miss Nathan for you. You missing nothing going on up in here, honey.

[Monet X Change]

You missing out on all those big uncut dicks over there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Girl, there is. I am just not dilly dallying. I mean, when we were rehearsing, it was. No. When I was in Brooklyn, baby, I'm the queen of Greenpoint, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Green Point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

By the time we moved on, it's been dry season, honey. I was like, God damn, take the

[Monet X Change]

L. And you're gonna get off on in Cream Point. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna cream your point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, honey, I tested very well in Greenpoint.

[Monet X Change]

I was like, okay, Everybody tested very well. I'm so done with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be fair, I stole that from Joel Kim Booster. I need to give credit where credit's due.

[Monet X Change]

Joel Kim Booster. You know, we finally had our meeting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How was that?

[Monet X Change]

It was great. It was really great. I love Joel Kim Booster.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now, Joel Kim Booster played Seymour in Little Trop of Horrors while Shea Kulay played the Plant.

[Monet X Change]

Do what? I didn't know he sings well.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was in high school or college. I can't remember what it was. But he played Seymour, and Shea Coulee was the Plant.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, what does. What does high school have to do with anything?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean, you don't have to be a good singer to be in a high school show, girl. Like, as a high school show. Monet. We didn't all go to art schools, Monet. Some of us went to regular ass schools. And the person singing in the lead singing role was. Can't sing. That is insane.

[Monet X Change]

Doing a production where the people can't sing. It sounds wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet. Not everyone went to an art school, Monet. Some of us. Why do a musical?

[Monet X Change]

Just do a play.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because you.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Because they can't even if they can't sing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Okay.

[Monet X Change]

Is this bizarre world?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

You do not get to be in a musical if you cannot sing. No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What? They're not professional production. They're just children.

[Monet X Change]

So what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is a musical.

[Monet X Change]

You should sing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

These are children, Monet. You need to beat. Move. You're out of control. No, I'm not.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Okay, this is Monet's library.

[Monet X Change]

Can y' all comment below? Do y' all think that schools should be putting on musical productions of people that cannot sing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's.

[Monet X Change]

That's two hours of people just being like, like, no. Okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's what a High School Musical production is.

[Monet X Change]

Money.

[Advertisement Voice 3]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You talking about how you want to have kids. I don't know what you Think you're, I don't know what you think your kids are going to be at LaGuardia High School, but baby, you're gonna, if you're gonn going to go to some shitty shows. Yeah, you will. Yeah you will. That is part of, part of having a child in the arts is, is watching a lot of kids, probably your own child who is not good at it and just sitting there playing the violin horribly. Not doing a horrible ballet recital, terrible piano playing. No singing ass. Terrible acting.

[Monet X Change]

No, absolutely not. My kids are going to be in, they're going to be taking lessons, musical lessons. From the time they're three, they're going to be very proficient and very good at instrument. So if you, they can't sing, at least they can fall back on our instrument.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, this is, this is not giving. The child wants this giving what you. This is you.

[Monet X Change]

This is giving.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You trying to mold, put your own desires on the show. That's not true.

[Monet X Change]

I'm going to put them into it and if they don't like it, we can take them out. But they're going to give it an adequate shot like from three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If your kid. So if your kid, if your kid goes to two less and goes, I don't want to do this. You, you, you, you're going to let them get out of it?

[Monet X Change]

I think there's a mixture of I don't want to do this as opposed to like, like, hey, baby, do you want to do the Suzuki thing? Yeah, I want to do it. So you're signing up. So you're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's role play. I'm your child. You're going to, you're telling me you're putting me in piano lessons? Hey, Paul. Kevin, please. Don't call me Paul. Don't call me no Paul. Well, we, we, we, we're right. We're living in Atlanta. We live in Atlanta now. Paul, Paul. Kevin, baby.

[Monet X Change]

Bobiana, baby, listen. Okay? Do you want to do piano this year? Do you, do you still want to do piano this year? But you said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to be, I want to be on a soccer team.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, we can put you in soccer, but there's also time in your schedule to do a little piano, baby. Now you said this year you wanted to do it. Are you changing your mind or do you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to anymore because I saw my older, my older sister Kimmy, who's a lying bitch by the way.

[Monet X Change]

Now Babiana, we said we could watch piano lessons.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's always complaining about her hands hurt and she doesn't like it. And she said, and she said that, that you were going to let her play fun songs, but she's playing Beethoven and Bach and that doesn't sound fun.

[Monet X Change]

Now we signed up. You wanted to do this last, so we signed you up for this year. So we've already paid the money, baby. So you had to do this. You have to do this first semester's lesson.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I don't want to. I don't want to play scales. Well, I want to play. I want to play. I spice.

[Monet X Change]

Well, honey, this is. This is a lesson in making a commitment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to play ski.

[Monet X Change]

This is. It says. This is a lesson in making. In committing to something you've committ to. We have to do these lessons for this semester.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm literally begging you, please don't make me do this. I know what I want to do. Please. I'm begging you, please don't make me play piano. Please.

[Monet X Change]

Life's not fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I cannot believe you're gonna make your child. This is. She's begging you.

[Monet X Change]

You committed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then. But that.

[Monet X Change]

That's not how life operates. You don't just get to commit. Say you want to do something, then pull out of it. That's not how life works, baby.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Yes, you can.

[Monet X Change]

No you cannot. Yes you can. Okay, then you'll ask that then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then you.

[Monet X Change]

You go. Then when you can afford the $325 to get out to pay the cancellation fee, then we can do it. So how are you going to get

[Bob the Drag Queen]

to me that I am a child? You tell me that because you paid money. So you value the. Your money over. By the way, I am still your child. You value your $325 over my happiness.

[Monet X Change]

But I'm. No. I want to teach you that you have to stick to the commitments you have that you've agreed to make.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will do the other ones. I just don't want to do this. I. Listen, I'm on the soccer team, okay? I did cheer. It's not like I don't do things. I just don't want to do this. I watched my older sister, watched my older sister, the lying bitch, Kim Chi. I watched her miserable in these piano rehearsals. And I know that I'm four. I'm very articulate for a four year old. But this is because I also took those speech and diction lessons and those speech classes that you, that you put me in which I went through with. I don't want to play this. I don't have any money. So please do not try to Behold me in this till I'm 18 years old. So please, please, please, I'm literally begging you, do not make me take these panel lessons.

[Monet X Change]

Maybe you'll thank me for this later. You're gonna take the first semester. If you don't like it, we'll stop at the first semester. We've committed to the first semester.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have to do a whole semester?

[Monet X Change]

Yes. It's six weeks.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, what are you. What are you. What lesson are you gonna take?

[Monet X Change]

I can take a lesson, too, honey. I flipped up that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So, we're committing. Why didn't you finish. Why didn't you finish your review? Your review of that one season of Drag Race on your page? Since we're committing, what about you and Jekyll and Hyde's cooking show? You only did, like, two episodes. Oh, since we're committing. Yeah, the Internet lasts forever. Paul. Kevin, you have an entire.

[Monet X Change]

We have a child locked on your computer. How did you see this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because. Because my sister Kimmy is a lying bitch. I've already covered this.

[Monet X Change]

She showed me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You didn't. You never finished. You did one episode of that. What about you saying you were gonna start doing YouTube videos? What about that? Where your YouTube videos at, Paul Kevin? So since we're committing, once you go back and review that full season, that's when I will come in and out and I'll take it.

[Monet X Change]

Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Go upstairs to your room and shut your mouth. Yeah, pick up that tooth with you on your way out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is so horrible, but are you really gonna make your kids? I'm not. See, here's the thing. If my kid. Did I ever. What did I ever do that I didn't want to do? Did you ever have any of this when you were kid stuff you don't want to do?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, and I regret it. My mom. I asked to do piano, and I did it like, but you asked for that. I asked like. Like little Bobiana did. And then. And then I wanted. And then I just chose to not do it. My mom was like, okay, but I wish you'd have been like, make me commit to that. Like, I said I wanted to do it. Like, she didn't ask me. I was like. I came up and were like, oh, I found this thing and it cost this much, and I want to do this many lessons. I promise. I promise I'm not going to give. I really want to do it. After the lesson, I was like, I don't want to do it anymore. She's like, okay, I hated that. She did that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not you. Gaslighting your own mom. I'm just crazy. This poor woman. This poor woman.

[Monet X Change]

Did you have anything like that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Spending her entire day pimping out cell phones to the poor population of St. Louis and then come home to you.

[Monet X Change]

What? Did you have anything like that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Everything I wanted to do, I followed through. But then we stopped doing because we

[Monet X Change]

were too poor to do it. See, that's good. That taught you follow through, and that's. That's probably why you keep a lot of the plan.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's probably why you keep a lot

[Monet X Change]

of the plans that you make with your friends. Because you learn from me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How's you acknowledge that I keep plans?

[Monet X Change]

You learn from a young age to follow through with your commitment, but we

[Bob the Drag Queen]

ended up not doing them because, like. Like, we. I wanted to play piano, but then we couldn't afford a piano. I wanted to be in band, but we couldn't afford a saxophone because you have to. I didn't know. You have to fucking pay for your. You have to rent your instrument. That's crazy.

[Monet X Change]

From the school band?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you have to. They don't give you instruments. You have to rent them.

[Monet X Change]

It makes sense, because then if you break it or something, then what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know. It's crazy. They were. I was. I was like, oh, you're gonna give me an instrument? And they were like, no, your mom needs to give us, like, 160 bucks. I was like, my mom's not gonna give me 160. 60 bucks. So I brought it up, and I wanted to play. I wanted to play the alto saxophone. She was like, boy, you don't need to play no sex for them. Whatever. We could afford mall Go. You don't need the blank, blank, blank.

[Monet X Change]

That is such a black mama thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You only know class ring. You only know your book. You don't need to play no saxophone. And then my mom took me out of karate class because she thought that. She said she thought it was too violent. I think she just couldn't afford it, but I don't think she complained about it.

[Monet X Change]

It's a karate, too. I used just Bob. You just. This was back when I was real chubby. Just my little fat ass and my little gi and my little. My little white belt that could barely. Because, you know, they're the big belts. And my little. Everybody else had, like, a foot of rope. Me, bitch, I had, like, two, three inches.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw the video. I saw the pictures of you assaulting Arcia.

[Monet X Change]

You was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You was thick then, too, girl.

[Monet X Change]

When I tell you Arcia went down. I still feel really bad, Bob. She was bleeding, like, profusely bleeding blood from her head because, you know, you bleed a lot from your head. When you hit in your head, you bleed more than other places.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I have ever bled from the head. No, but I did. That was. We had a boy in our neighborhood named Andy. When I lived in Phoenix State, Alabama, who would. Who would. We saw him get his head busted several. I mean, several times. And there was one time, two times, actually, I saw him where it was. When I say gushing.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Blood. Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, there was one time that we used to have these things called dirt bombs. And the dirt bomb is just. It's just. It's just mud that is hardened, and it looks like a rock, but it's not a rock. And when you throw it at someone, it just explodes. And it's kind of funny because they don't hurt. And I was also in a neighborhood that was being built. My mother swears we didn't live in the woods. I'm telling you, we lived in the woods. Everything around us was trees except the. The neighborhood. It was a. It was a circle. The neighborhood was a perfect circle, and there were trees. I was like. Mom was like, we didn't. I was like, mom, if you walked across the street, we were in the woods. She's like, well, you didn't live in the woods. Anyway, so we were playing, and this kid found a giant dirt bomb. We were all throwing at each other. We were in the. Because these houses were being built, so we'd play in. We'd play in the houses as they were being built on the days that the construction workers were working on. And this kid found a giant dirt bomb, and he was hiding like this. Also, there were. There were, like. When I lived in Phoenix City, I lived in a white neighborhood.

[Monet X Change]

Real quick, I just saw a thing for. I thought it was spelled like Phoenix. No, no, no. It's spelled F, E, N, I accent, X. I thought the whole time it was spelled Phoenix, but y' all just called it Phoenix.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it's. No, it's Fennec City. There's. No, it's not. There's no O in Phoenix City.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where did you see Fennec City written down?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. I was here in la and I was driving somewhere, and I saw a thing that said Phoenix, Alabama. I was like, oh, that's probably what Bobby's talking about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Anyway, so Andy was hiding. So there were, like, two black families in this Whole neighborhood. This is the only time in my childhood that I lived in a white neighborhood. And they were targeting us. And it was Alabama. So they used to, like, they used to daze his with the slurs. They used to. It was crazy. Me and this one family from Syracuse, New York. Anyway, one of the kids from Syracuse was standing over Andy. Andy couldn't see him. He was. Andy was looking at me and I saw him with a giant dirt bomb. And he dropped the dirt bomb on Andy's head. And it was not a dirt bomb. It was a piece of concrete surrounded by mud, baby. He dropped a concrete brick. He basically dropped a cinder block on Andy's head. This black kid in this white neighborhood dropped a cinder block on a white kid's head. Andy immediately starts screaming. And when I tell you it was shooting into the air. And then they.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

The.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The race campaign they had on me and that. And that black family, like, we ganged up and whooped his little white ass.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, that's very gruesome.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, then there's also a black family next door. There was a mixed race family next door. So it was a black man, a white woman and black kids.

[Monet X Change]

I think also, I think the correct term these days is biracial. Biracial people have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're probably right.

[Monet X Change]

Also. Last thing I want to say.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's my Amy.

[Monet X Change]

What song is that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's just this TikTok thing. Pause. Last thing I'll say. Sorry. KFC in the uk.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you. I'll be telling people that.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Bob. It is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It.

[Monet X Change]

It's different.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's so good. I'm going to order. Going to order it after this.

[Monet X Change]

KFC in the uk, I don't know. And again, not like they got a whole lot of seasons over there. I don't know what's different. The chicken, whatever. It just tastes good. It's so much better.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm in. I'm in Belgium, so I can't vote. Vouch for Belgian kfc, but ufc. I mean, ufc. You know who turned me on to KFC in the UK is, you know, who's obsessed with kfc? Who? The Vivian.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah. She loves. No, she loves Wingstop.

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

Oh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She moved on the Wingstop back when I was touring with her. Her obsession was KFC and Jurassic Park.

[Monet X Change]

David. She is obsessed with Wings because Wingstop has, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a fried chicken eating.

[Monet X Change]

Because the Wingstop has blown up in the. In the uk. Like, they're everywhere now. So, you know, in the, in the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In Europe, they don't really have. They don't have this connotation with fried chicken that we have in America with black people.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, they don't. They don't because the black people in

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the UK are typically African immigrants.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And. And I don't think that African. I don't know that a lot of African immigrants are known for eating fried chicken.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So there. They have no. There is no connotation to black people in fried chicken in the uk, which is wild except for through the lens of Americans talking about it.

[Monet X Change]

So I was watching. I was on. On subreddit and I was on my Reddit home thing looking. It had. I like, felt like black people Twitter crazy public fights. Like, what could go wrong?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Whatever, Black people Twitter. So it's a great Reddit community.

[Monet X Change]

So I was on fucking crazy videos.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We've been on it a few times.

[Monet X Change]

Have we? Oh, God. And I was on. In my fucking crazy videos, whatever that one is called. So it looked like these guys are fighting in the street in Italy, right? And it's like a bird's eye view of it, so you can't really get too close, but you can see, like, bodies, whatever. And like one guy, you see, he picks up something and they're fighting and he goes like this to this guy. And when I tell you, blood is just. He cracked a bottle and stabbed him in the neck. And Bob, blood is just pouring all over the concrete. And the guy like, what did I

[Bob the Drag Queen]

do with black people? Twitter?

[Monet X Change]

No, I was just saying on all the different subreddits I was watching.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I was like, black people Twitter's like memes.

[Monet X Change]

No. What the fuck?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you, Black Twitter is like funny

[Monet X Change]

tweets, but to see like that video, that shit, like the way the blood was pouring out of this guy was crazy. It was crazy. Okay, so you can talk about a Jared Carmichael.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Get his name.

[Advertisement Voice 3]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You should know his name. His name was Andy. Honestly, Andy. Look familiar? How old is Andy?

[Monet X Change]

Remember when we first met? Andy's 33 and it look like a

[Bob the Drag Queen]

kid with his big ass head. You know how kids have big heads and he look like a kid with his big ass head.

[Monet X Change]

All right, I think we gotta go, but this is a long ass episode.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you owe it to the fans.

[Monet X Change]

You owe it to the fans. Bitch, I miss you so much. I've been trying to call. Okay, let me just say this before we go. I'm not trying to say this in any way. Like, you've been. I know you've been busy on Torrent. I've called you a lot. But since the first show. I've been trying to call you. Jacob just goes out. I was trying to. And I have the receipts to, like, find out, but I know you're busy, you're traveling, like, the tour, whatever. But I text me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I always say, if you call me and it's not going through, just take. Say, hey, I tried to call you.

[Monet X Change]

Well, I did on our Facebook group, and you just replied to that. And I was like, well, I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I assume that our Facebook group is all work stuff, so I'll be here for, like, the riverside and then, like, the. The link to the. To the Google Drive. I. And I feel like I constantly say this, but I guess I'll reiterate it here again on the air if you comment.

[Monet X Change]

That's redundant. You don't need to reiterate again. Reiterate is already doing again.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why don't you just call me and then text me and say, hey, I tried to call you. Yeah, you say that. Will. Will you make the adjustment, Mary?

[Ryan Reynolds / Other Guest Voices]

And this has been another episode of sibling rivalry. Thank you so much for listening.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And, Jacob, stand up for me more next time. Go crazy.

[Monet X Change]

Really? Stand up for me next time.