The One About Hotels

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Hotels"

Date: December 22, 2021
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Theme: Hilarious confessions and debates about hotel experiences, travel, and the realities of life on the road as drag superstars.

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Episode Overview

In this delightfully unfiltered episode, Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dissect their complicated relationship with hotels, from luxury suites to shady budget inns. The duo spar over favorite hotel brands, share wild travel stories, and debate the etiquette of hosting ‘trade’ in hotel rooms. Sparks fly as they reminisce about life on tour, discuss high-maintenance habits, and reveal how different familial and cultural backgrounds shape their lodging preferences. As always, their banter is electric, peppered with vulnerability, roast battles, and moments of surprising depth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kicking Off: Randomness & Chemistry

• Opening Banter: The hosts riff about "serving trade," hairdos, and playful rivalry over who influenced whose style first. (01:32 - 03:00)
  • “Let’s put everything on Front Street. You never got your hair done until I got my shit done.” – Bob (02:02)
• Tech Frustrations: Bob laments his ongoing battle with dysfunctional computers, detailing an Apple Store nightmare and lamenting his “lemon” MacBook woes. (03:53 - 09:11)
  • “It would have been more fun to take $2,500 and throw it in some old bitch’s face.” – Bob (09:03)

2. New York City Hotel Showdown

• The Conrad vs. Ace Hotel: The hosts argue over which NYC hotel reigns supreme (is the Ace Hotel a ‘vibe’ or a rip-off?). Price-checking turns into a competition, with Monet defending her choice as Bob pushes back, all with receipts. (13:40 - 18:35)
  • “The Ace Hotel is popping. The Conrad and your fool... They’re deconstructing your wallet with that scam.” – Bob (14:12-14:38)
• Room Size Realities: Discussion of notoriously tiny NYC hotel rooms, except for the relatively bigger Ace Hotel spaces. (16:24 - 17:15)

3. Family Visits: Hotel or Home?

• Where Do They Stay?
  • Monét reveals she always books a hotel during NYC visits due to late work hours and family distance from Manhattan.
  • Bob typically stays in the same bed as his mother when visiting Atlanta—except for sleeping with a niece skilled in "Mortal Kombat" moves.
  • Discussion on cultural/familial pressure to stay at home, especially for West Indian families, vs. comfort and logistics preferences. (19:19 – 24:39)
  • "You do not go to a hotel...but once you bring a partner home...they just get it." – Bob (23:59)

4. Hotels as Drag Artists’ Second Homes

• Life on the Road: Both lived out of hotels pre-pandemic, sometimes home for just a week per month, especially during big tour runs. (25:57 – 26:47)
  • “Back in the dizzy, I was probably home out of a month...a week and a half, maybe.” – Bob (26:07)
• Hotel Behavior: Confessions about wild “disrespectful sex,” drag messes, and NOT keeping their hotel rooms clean.
  • Bob: “When I’m in a hotel, bitch, nasty sex. I will disrespect the room.” (27:14)
  • Monét: “When I get ready…I’m sponging my brushes, there’s colors, the towels and sheets. It’s a wrap. Get new ones!” (51:48)

5. Drag Tour Tales: The Good, The Bad & The Messy

• Best and Worst Hotel Stories:
  • Nicest: Bob recalls luxurious UK and Hawaii rooms; Monet shouts out the Waldorf Astoria. (34:16 – 36:08)
  • Worst: Both have horror stories about stains, smells, and group revolts to upgrade from budget pitstops like EconoLodge and Comfort Inn.
  • "If the floors are that dirty and the walls…I could only imagine y’all are not cleaning the rooms so who knows what the fuck is on my sheets!" – Monét (39:33)
• Notable Drag Queen Lore:
  • Bob recounts the myth about a Drag Race girl making herself at home in the hotel lobby, pajamas and diffuser out, until the front desk caved. Identity remains “All Stars” classified. (41:02 – 44:20)

6. Trade, Tricks, and Hotel Guests

• Bringing “Trade” to Your Room:
  • UK hotel policies often prohibit overnight visitors, leading to creative “hide the key” schemes—“Scavenger Hunt Pussy.” Patty’s advice on stashing keys is credited as a game changer. (33:03 – 34:12)
  • "Not a scavenger hunt for some pussy." – Bob (33:26)
• Security and Scams:
  • Monét refuses to let hook-ups sleep over after near-theft incidents (cue the pungent UK Grindr date who tried to steal her Beats and begged for cash).
  • “As soon as I smelled his crotch, I was like, ‘No.’” – Monét (59:17)
  • Both share strategies to avoid getting robbed by random trade, from always staying alert to using hotel latches.
  • Bob: “I’m just a very trusting person.” (61:06)
  • Monét: “No, you trust too much. These people – you don’t know. They can slit your throat in your sleep!” (61:10)

7. Hotels & Class: The Yale Club and Rich People Nonsense

• Monét reveals she worked at the Yale Club:
  • Only Yale-affiliated stay, members pay steep fees for bragging rights, not comfort. (52:28 – 53:53)
  • “You don't get the rooms for free…rich people just want to have the privilege of saying they’re a member.” – Monét (53:19)
• Bob Ribbed for Not Completing College:
  • “That's because you didn't go to—didn't finish college. Rukukukuku.” – Monét (54:00)

8. The Drag Queen Hotel Mess

• Room Cleanliness:
  • Bob confesses to never unpacking his suitcase, leaving covers and pillows “black, brown and blue” with drag makeup, and never bothering to tidy up.
  • Monét shares Manila’s extreme: always unpacking into hotel drawers, even for one night. Both are skeptical.
  • Debate if hotel towels and sheets truly ever get clean after drag queens come through. (50:24 – 52:16)

9. Quick Hits & Running Gags

• "Hyphy" Vocabulary Lesson: Bob & Monét debate if "hyphy" is common Black English, calling on fellow Drag Race queens for a poll. (44:33 – 46:51)
• Fans Roasting Monet’s Childhood Maid Stories
• RuPaul, Trixie Motel & Who’s Really Rich: Jokes about RuPaul calling Trixie Mattel “so rich” on TV. (55:00 – 55:14)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On hotel prices and status:
  • “They’re deconstructing your wallet with that scam.” – Bob (14:12)
  • “$304...that’s literally more than twice the Ace Hotel. I wasn’t at a cheap hotel.” – Bob (18:21)
• On bringing ‘trade’:
  • “Patty, you’re hiding keys in the trade? That is crazy, bitch. The next night I was doing the same.” – Monét (33:37)
• On Drag Mess:
  • “If there’s a pillow in my room, it’s about to be black, brown, and blue.” – Bob (51:45)
• On hotel horror:
  • “I won’t get sleep. I can’t get peace. I feel so dirty.” – Monét (38:49)
  • “As soon as I smelled his crotch, I was like, no.” – Monét (59:17)
• On drag queen teamwork:
  • “…we all get better hotels and invoice Voss. We’re not staying at the hotel—these are new bills. Take care of it.” – Monét (40:35)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:53 – Bob’s computer/Apple drama
• 13:40 – Start of hotel price debate (Conrad vs Ace)
• 19:19 – Where do you stay when visiting family?
• 25:57 – How often are you living in hotels, pre-pandemic?
• 33:03 – UK hotel guest policies & “trade” hacks
• 36:52 – Best (and worst!) hotels ever
• 41:02 – Legendary drag queen lobby-move myth
• 50:24 – Hotel room cleanliness confessions
• 52:28 – Monét on Yale Club exposure
• 55:00 – RuPaul, Trixie’s wealth & celebrity hotels
• 57:00 – Monét’s cautionary trade tale (“Have you heard stories of queens getting robbed?”)
• 61:06 – Debating letting hook-ups sleep over in hotels
• 62:33 – Comedic blessings and sign-off

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Takeaways

• Life on tour means hotels are more home than home—and the messes, sex, and drama reflect it.
• Not all hotels—or hotel hacks—are created equal, especially for drag royalty.
• Fans of Drag Race or wild travel stories will laugh out loud (and maybe think twice about what’s lurking in their next hotel room).
• Familial pressure, regional norms, and privilege intersect in funny and relatable ways.
• Trust, safety, and “trade” are always in the background—sometimes leading to disaster, sometimes to scandalous triumphs.

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In the Hosts' Own Words

“Patty, you are hiding keys in the trade? That is crazy, bitch. The next night I was doing the same.” — Monét X Change (33:37)

“If you say you love apples…that pissed me off. I got mad. You don’t love apples.” — Bob The Drag Queen (20:23)

“When I’m in a hotel, bitch, nasty sex. I will disrespect the room.” – Bob (27:14)

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Sibling Rivalry never holds back, and "The One About Hotels" is a wildly entertaining, candid guide for anyone who's spent a night on the road—or ever wondered how queens put the “suite” in “suite life.”

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Transcript

[A]

Close your eyes.

[B]

Exhale.

[A]

Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

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[A]

And breathe.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

Sa.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

Are you all ready for the trade episode of Civic Robbery?

[A]

The what?

[C]

The trade episode of Sibling Rivalry? Handy.

[A]

Oh, I've been serving trade. Girl, you're the one. You just. You just. You just caught on to the train. Trade.

[C]

The trade train. Nice try. I am new to the trade train. I don't. I don't. I still consider myself trade.

[A]

But you're not also, and you never will be.

[C]

And I'm not trying to be. Why you want to be straight so

[A]

bad you actually think you are? I think you are. First of all, let's discuss something. Let's be.

[C]

Why do you want to look straight so bad? Why do you want to look straight so bad?

[A]

Let's put everything on Front Street. Let's put everything on Front Street. What I was saying first. Nigga, you never got your fucking hair done until I got my shit done, all right? I got my shit done.

[C]

All the things you. Guess what I started doing.

[A]

Let's listen.

[C]

All the things you never did. Your whole career. Drag, honey.

[A]

Your whole career. Bitch, please. Bitch, please.

[C]

Let's come in drag. Start with being on Rapal Drag Race. Let's start.

[A]

Let's talk about how BB let's talk about how Bibi Zahara Benet gave you your career. Bitch. You were nothing. You were sewing her dresses. She graciously let you get onto Drag Race. Let's talk about that shit.

[C]

Yeah, I was the sewing fashion icon of New York City. That's the little part you very eloquently left out. That I was the. And I was like, can we put on the screen some of the amazing garments that I sold for Ms. Monet when she won Best gown?

[A]

Oh, yeah, please.

[C]

In the gown.

[A]

Amazing.

[C]

In the gown I sold you.

[A]

Amazing.

[C]

But did it win best gown?

[A]

It did not win best gown.

[C]

It did win best gown. Yes, it did. You are so full of shit.

[A]

Do you have. Do you have the receipts? Prove it. I don't remember that being a thing.

[C]

We will call Tina Burner your drag

[A]

mom, not Tina Burner. Be my drag mother. How are you? How are you getting? How are you liking your new hair? Are you living? Is she loving?

[C]

Yeah, it's fun. I haven't done a whole lot with it yet. Tomorrow I'm going to Todrick House to go swimming.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You say it again. You're going to Mexico. Just. You're going to Mexico to go swimming.

[C]

I said Todrick's house.

[A]

Oh, you're going to Todrick House. You're gonna go try swimming in it.

[C]

Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna try to go swimming. Which, honestly, might be the downfall of my. Of my toupee, which when I say toupee, people do not like. When I call it a toupee, people are like, it's not. It's probably. It's a mama. It's a toupee.

[A]

Because toupee, that's like. That's like old. That's like old. Black men. That's old. White dudes wear toupees. A young kind of millennial does not wear toupee.

[C]

Is she breaking up for you, or. No, it's just me. Wow. No matter what I do. So you think only black and white people wear toupees? So Latinx people, Asian people. They don't. They didn't. Old Asian folks.

[A]

I said that. That's what I said.

[C]

Wow. Monet. Excluding Latinx and Asian.

[A]

Wait, really? Time out. Really quick Time out.

[C]

Bob.

[A]

Are you connected to your Ethernet? You keep on breaking. You're. You're breaking up.

[C]

I know I am connected, but I don't know what the. It's just. It's. I think it's this computer. Like, I don't care what I do, where I sit, where I am. I'm always breaking up. And I don't know why I'm so mad about my computer. I didn't tell you this. I broke Ezra's computer during quarantine. I dropped something on it. I was like, holding something over it and then, like, it dropped and his screen cracked and the computer was just like, would not. The whole monitor was. So I was like, you know what? I broke his computer. I'm gonna buy a new computer or go. Or pay to get it fixed. We pay to get it. They're like. They were like, well, it's kind of an old computer and blah, blah, blah. And it's honestly cheaper to get it fixed or easier to get it fixed to buy a new one. To buy a new one because this computer's. So I bought a new computer for Ezra because I broke his old computer, bitch. Sugar Daddy Warbucks, honey, that's not sugar. I literally broke his computer and I paid for it.

[A]

You wanna talk about the things you broken of mine that you ain't buy back for me? I'm sorry.

[C]

The broke niggas you fuck when they break your shit, they say, sorry, nigga.

[A]

You know, one time. You know, one time, a guy was. We were, I guess, kind of dating, but he was DL. Whatever. Anyway, long story short, he came over to my house and he broke my fucking. He broke. Okay, he didn't break. We were broke.

[C]

Your back.

[A]

Do you remember the old tv? My first apartment. He's the one that broke that one. Anyway, long story short. Go ahead.

[C]

So, anyways, so I broke the computer. Here you go, babe. Your drink. So I broke the computer and went and bought a new one. But the new computer just fully stopped working after, like, fifth. Monet. 15 days.

[A]

No way.

[C]

Monet. So in the first 14 days, you can go back and get it fixed. It was like 15 or 16 days. And we were like, this computer doesn't work. It just fully just stopped working. So we took it back to the store and it was a brand new MacBook. We were like, Hey, y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

So this MacBook just stopped working? Like, yeah, it's past the 14 days. I was like, yeah, but it just doesn't work. They were like, well, it's probably. They're like, we can fix it, but we cannot give you a new computer. We can't fix it. We cannot give you. It was, okay, so let's fix it. They take it for two weeks. They keep their computer for two weeks while fixing it.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

They give it back to, like, here. It should work now. Get it back. It works this time for like, four days. Just fully stopped working. Like, guys like. But we don't know the lemon law.

[A]

It's the lemon.

[C]

They're like, we don't Know that it's. That it's the thing. It could be the software. And I'm like, well, bitch, it's software I'm getting from you. Like, it's your software, nigga, it's your software. So we take it back again, and it just stopped working when I say it. It was so hard to get it fixed that I just stopped trying.

[A]

Which is so crazy because Steve Jobs, his fucking best friend Tim Cook over there, they're sitting on trillions of dollars. Like, bitch, give me a new computer. First of all, you charge me $2500. This shit cost you maybe a thousand.

[C]

So. So it's driving me crazy to know that my computer that I bought at the same time as this computer was bought more or less. And then so that was not working. And then I fucking have a computer across town. So Ezra ended up, oh, to quote Monet, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,

[B]

ooh, ooh, ooh.

[C]

Did you see that super cut online, by the way?

[A]

Of what?

[C]

Someone actually made a supercut. Every time you go, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

[A]

Oh, God.

[C]

Anyway, so then Ezra's old computer ended up getting fixed. The old one got fixed. So now there's a brand new computer that does not work just sitting over there. And I have a computer over here that I've been using for year. Not year. I mean, yes, years. I got. I got it in Brooklyn. It's like four years. It's a four year old computer, but that's not old enough to be fucking up like it is. Okay, Jacob, guess what, Jacob, keep it at three years old too.

[A]

Okay? I want to say this. There is some commonality between you and technology not working. There is something that you do with technology.

[C]

This is Ezra's computer. This is.

[A]

You don't want. You don't want. It's fucking up your life. So it's you.

[C]

Well, it's just annoying me because I paid for a brand. I mean, Monet, I was like. I was like, you know what the whole thing actually what it was, we were sitting there and the guy's like, we could fix this, but it might take us like up to 30 days. And I felt bad being like, I broke your computer. I. I'm not going to ask you to be without a computer for 30 days. That feels shady. I would just buy the new computer. I bought the new computer, bitch. It doesn't fucking work. Going down to that store. The way they just be like, I really wish I could help you. The. The way they say that and just look me in the eye like it is. Just chill. I wish there was something I can do. I brought a computer from you that doesn't work, and you can't think of anything. This shit. I'm so furious right now. It would have been more fun to take $25,000 and throw it in an. In, like, some old bitch's face.

[A]

Why old bitch, though, spend it on a computer?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

It'd be kind of funny to hit an old lady in the face with money. That would have been more fun than spending on a computer. It wasn't 25. It was like. It was like $1700, but still. That's crazy.

[A]

You know, I don't have those same experiences with Apple. Every time I have a problem, I take my things back. They fix it. We're me and Apple. We're friends. We. They always take care of me when I go there, so I don't share those same experiences with you.

[C]

I know that's not true because I've heard you complain, too. So you really. You really got to know about Apple.

[A]

The only. Only. The only thing, Monet, just for an endorsement.

[C]

Just ask for an endorsement, Monet. Just ask. You beg. Beg, nigga.

[A]

The only thing under. The only thing under the Apple umbrella I've ever had problems with is where my second pair of Beats Pro. Not the ones that hook up your ears. Those just would not work. But also, to be fair, I didn't even try to get it fixed. I was just complaining.

[C]

Apple is not going to sponsor you. They don't want you to work with them. You're not working with Apple. Monet, stop begging.

[A]

Oh, my God. Can we please say the audio for just one day in the future? I know Apple gon some pride. I'm gonna be on the front. Like,

[C]

stop begging. When you were a kid, you ever told Stop begging.

[A]

Oh, I used to beg for food. We know this. I was a fat food.

[C]

Stop begging. I just beg. I'm just asking. Like, you can say no, but damn. Stop begging.

[A]

Like, I don't do.

[C]

Do white people get told to stop begging? Jacob, when you ask for food as a kid, were you ever told the words specifically? And turn your mic on when you ask this, by the way, because people are dragging us. They're like, we can't. Someone wrote, you know we can't hear Jacob when he's talking, right?

[A]

Yeah, that's by design. Because we are, what, silencing white voices on this motherfucking podcast. That's what we're doing, Jacob.

[C]

Were you ever asked to stop begging? No, I have not had that experience.

[A]

Ooh, the echo. The echo. The echolocation of it all.

[C]

Why? Muted myself. But anyway, that is so I'm heated. I didn't realize I'm gonna be mad about. I was gonna be heated about that until my computer started acting up. Also, someone online, the three people online that focusing I look like that has been tickling me. Someone said I look like Gerald from Hey Arnold grown up.

[A]

I don't get Gerald.

[C]

I don't think you remember what Gerald looks like.

[A]

I do remember Jackson.

[C]

It was really funny. Someone else had like Skeeter from Doug growing up. And then someone said I look like m' Baku from m' Baku down from black m'.

[B]

Baku.

[C]

M', Baku,

[A]

that's. You're Mbaku.

[C]

I said, honestly, maybe I look. Maybe I look a little like m'. Baku. Maybe that one. That one does make sense.

[A]

Mbaku was. He was hot in the movie.

[C]

Oh, girl, I am heated. You got me really pissed off about this.

[A]

How did I get you pissed off? Bitch, your shit. So every time we start recording Bob, everything was going smooth. As soon as we start recording Bob, Bob's computer starts smoking. The camera starts spinning around. It just gets crazy.

[C]

I mean, where's the lie? Me and Monet offline, like when we're not podcasting. Bitch, I'd be running fucking 10 programs, playing smash, chatting with my mom on the dark web on the super secret software you need apparently to get on the dark web and everybody gavage.

[A]

Everybody told you about the dark web?

[C]

Yeah, I was wrong. Everything goes smooth the moment we hit record market. Like, bitch, let's take a fucking break. I'm so annoyed. We'll be back in a second.

[B]

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[A]

and we black.

[C]

We didn't pick a topic. We should.

[A]

We did. I did. Oh, what's our topic? Hotels.

[C]

Oh. Because Monet.

[A]

Monet. What? What?

[C]

Okay, so I was at a hotel recently. Monet had the nerve. Okay, this was such a moment. This is a delicious moment because I was in New York City at a hotel at the Conrad.

[A]

The Conrad is shit.

[C]

The Conrad. Anyway, I was at the Conrad in midtown, and Monet was like Jones in my hotel. But what made it so perfect was Alfredo happened to be there at the same time. He was like, I was just at your hotel. That was raggedy as hell.

[A]

That's not true. Okay, So I want all of y' all to look and all everyone listening slash watching Google the Conrad. New York City. And then Google Ace Hotel in New York City. Ace Hotel is popping. The reason why Alfredo didn't get the Ace Hotel is because Alfredo is trash. And Alfredo does not realize that the Ace Hotel, like, it is their aesthetic. They're like. They're like deconstructed. Like, the Ace Hotel is a vibe. The Conrad and your fool.

[C]

They're deconstructing your fucking wallet with that scam. Honey, let's look at how much a room at the. At the Ace Hotel is, honey. Not $66 a night.

[A]

You're lying. You're lying. I'm looking up right now. You're such a liar. It is 183. Why do you. Why you stay lying, though?

[C]

66 off. I got confused. It says 66 off. I got confundido. 160, Monet. Okay, I'm not trying. I'm not. Let's just say the Conrad cost a lot more than 168 a night. Let's.

[A]

Let's. $183.

[C]

Oh, Monet. Let's just say the Conrad costs a little more. Bitch.

[A]

The Conrad is $166. What are you talking about? 160.

[C]

First of all, first of all, the difference is you stay in the cheat. You stayed in the cheap room.

[A]

I stay in the King Suite at the AIDS Hotel.

[C]

The king suite is $168.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. The. The. This is the Conrad the ruin. The Conrad is a hundred.

[C]

But the King. The King suite at The Ace was 168.

[A]

No it was one. Let me see what it is. I'm gonna go right now.

[C]

You just said it was 168.

[A]

It was 183.

[C]

Oh, shit. Anyway, the Conrad is a very nice hotel.

[A]

Says you.

[C]

It was popping and. Let me see. Book for tonight. Let me go to the. Let me see how Mr. Conrad's gonna do.

[A]

I hate when you be like. I hate that it gets me so angry irrationally.

[C]

I can't find the Conrad right now, but I can't find the prices for some random reason. Jacob, can you google the prices of the Conrad New York City and Midtown. The one in Midtown. Anyway, do you have a favorite, like a particularly favorite hotel?

[A]

Yes, I love. Okay. I like Ace hotels because they're a nice brand. They're a nice grade of hotel. They're like a four star hotel. And like, you know, like they all look the same every city. You know what you're gonna get. Even in New York City. New York City. Hotel rooms in New York City are notoriously small. You remember that hotel that. The one right at Columbus Circle that Voss would put all the girls at or drag race would?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I know. I never was in there. Cause whenever we.

[A]

Oh, Hudson Yards. Hudson something Hudson. That hotel. When I tell y' all the rooms in that hotel are maybe this it big enough to fit a twin size bed, only like, that's all that fit in. They're a tiny, tiny room. So hotels in New York City are famously really small. But the Ace Hotel, the rooms are pretty big for New York City for the price. And the location is right in Midtown. So 29th Street. That's why I always say the Ace when I come to New York. What are you looking for? Can you engage?

[C]

I'm trying to find the price. I was trying to find this fucking price. But it's literally like not letting me that bitch. I don't listen.

[A]

I am looking at it right now for all of y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

We can look at what I'm looking at. Jacob can say what he want. This is what it motherfucking says. $166. So Jacob can. Can clickety clackity and make up shit for his fucking boyfriend. All he want to do. That's not the real tea.

[C]

Try to book it for once a day and go and go to the. Go to the broom closet you're gonna be sitting in at the Conrad.

[A]

All I'm saying, I have the. I have the receipts and everyone can see it.

[C]

Are you at the Conrad in Midtown? That's the Conrad downtown. I Told you the Conrad Midtown. Yeah, I just saw on screen. Yeah, it can't.

[A]

It can't be. It can't be that different. I. It cannot be that different.

[C]

They might be two different chain. They might not even be the. They're not even the same thing. Yeah, now say you wrong. Say. You say it loud.

[A]

Okay, so Jacob's talking about some $1,000.

[C]

How much is it? Read it out loud.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. Trust me, I will. Cuz you, you. You about to get dragged. It's important to know what price.

[C]

So that is the cheapest price. Also, I'm Google. It's right here. It's literally $866. This is not made up on Google.

[A]

This is what Google is saying.

[C]

Read, read out loud.

[A]

$304.

[C]

That's literally more than twice the Ace Hotel. I'm just saying. Cheap hotel. All I'm saying is. All I'm saying is I wasn't at a cheap hotel. That's all I'm saying.

[A]

Allegedly. Anyways.

[C]

So can you just admit that I was. I don't know why. First of all, it's very elitist of you.

[A]

Anyways, like I was saying, I like the Ace Hotel.

[C]

I actually wanted to stay at Nick's place. I was gonna just stay at Nick's place. My name was like, why would you stay at Nick's place? I was like, because. I was like, because it's free. Because it's literally free, Rob.

[A]

You can afford to stay at a hotel and not be all up in Nick's face. Nick might want to get some dick. Nick might. Mick got. Mick might want to come over. Who knows? Nick want his space to come.

[C]

You got Mick and Nick. So you think Nick just fucks people whose name rhymes with his. When you visit family, do you go to a hotel? Do you stay at home?

[A]

It's tough. Anytime I go to. Obviously I have family in New York, as y' all know, but anytime I go, I always say stay at a hotel because like I'm coming in and out. Normally I'm there for work. Now I'm there for work and I'm studio stuff. So I'm like in and out so late. I don't want to be fucking with my family. Also my family lives like in East Flatbush, Brooklyn. And that's like very far from the city. That's a 45 minute ride to the city. So I'd rather just be in the city. It's just more convenient. What about you, when you go visit

[C]

family, as a lot of, you know, Monet's family's in East Flatbush, Bushwick, Bed Stuy, Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. When I go home, if I'm home by myself. Monet, we're not eating. We're not eating on the podcast.

[A]

We're not doing that. I'm not talking to my. Continue. I'm listening.

[C]

We're not eating on the podcast. You know, the fans hate when you eat it.

[A]

I am not in the microphone.

[C]

You know they hate it.

[A]

Just continue your conversation.

[C]

I can hear you rustling the bag of cheese you're eating. Monet's eating a bag of cheese. What is this cheese? Monet is just eating a bag of cheese. What are you eating? What is that?

[A]

Oh, that's my favorite trip. I love popcorners. It's so good.

[C]

I don't know why. It drives me so crazy. There's. There's certain foods that you say you love, and for some reason, it drives me crazy when you say it. I don't know why. I don't have an explanation, Mon, but when you tell me you remember that, you tell me you love apples. That. That pissed me off. I got mad. I was like, nigga, you don't love apples. I mean, I like apples, but you was acting like apples was like, I

[A]

did not do that. That was you. I literally said, oh, my. I said, I love apples. And you took it to a whole nother place, as you always do.

[C]

But it was like, oh, my God. She was, like, crying. She was like, oh, my God. Not crying.

[B]

Nothing.

[C]

Like in a good apple. You ever bite into a good apple?

[A]

You are so. My God.

[C]

Like. Like scooping up the tears with the apple spears, biting them shits. Monet ate the core. Monet ate the seeds in the core of the apple, Ate the stem. I said, this is crazy.

[A]

Also, you know, I love popcorn. I. I been. I love. I love popcorn. It's just so good.

[C]

I don't know why it annoys me. So someone posted online. I was like, oh, my God, Maybe I'm toxic. Someone put something. They were like. They were like. If you say. They were like. If you have anything negative to say about the way someone expresses joy, you.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And I was like, honestly, me. Because there are certain people who express joy in ways also. Fuck that guy. Cause that's how I express my joy. Expressing my joy is making fun of how other people express joy.

[A]

The podcast, the one about the things you hate, it is so ridiculous. I listened to it again. I was like, bob is fucking crazy. You were mad that people laugh at the end of their sentences or the People, I hate it.

[C]

I hate it. We're not going to revisit it, but I hate it. I don't like it

[A]

anyway. When you go visit, when you go to Atlanta, do you stay at a hotel or do you stay at home?

[C]

When I go to Atlanta, I literally sleep in the bed with my mom. We sleep in the same bed. I mean, except. Except recently my niece was sleeping in the bed and then I. I could not sleep. Okay. I tried to sleep in the bed with my niece one night. She was playing Mortal Kombat in her sleep or some. I was fighting. I was fighting an 11 year old. I was like, I'm gonna beat this bitch up if she hits me one more time. Nevaeh has a hitting foot in my face, a fist in my mouth. I was getting slapped. I was like, who sleeps like this?

[A]

Who sleeps like this? Little kids. I was a restless sleeper as a kid. I used to sleep like that. My mom, that was me as a kid for sure.

[C]

I would go left to right, but I don't do the wild stuff. So I just. So I got up and I slept in the other. There was another bed available. But I have always. I mean, pretty much, pretty much always when I visit home, since I moved to New York City anyway, whenever I go home, I literally sleep in the same bed as my mom.

[A]

Oh, that's so cute. When I go visit Saint Lucia, I sleep at the house. And I mean, in the future, like, if I like come with like a partner or something, I mean, I feel weird. Don't you feel weird? So what's it?

[C]

Hotel. When Jacob comes. When Jacob comes. Jacob doesn't sleep at my mom's house, but we get a hotel.

[A]

But my mom, If I. In St. Lucia, if I don't stay at my family's house, my mom would get buck wild. She'd be like, you're fucking kidding me. She's like, you have to stay at

[C]

home even if you bring. Even if you bring a boy home?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Have you brought a boy home? How do you know yet?

[A]

I haven't, but I know my mom, she's gonna be like. She's like, you're not staying at a hotel.

[C]

I felt the same way because I always stay with my family. Like, I mean, before I started bringing Jacob home, when I. If I was going to visit my aunt, if she lived in a studio apartment and I was sleeping under the futon, I would not. You do not go to a hotel. You just do not. You just don't go to a hotel. You don't but once I start bringing a partner home and I'm like, I'm just going to stay. I'm like, I think they. They just get it. And I think to myself, like, when I got older, I was like, yeah, I remember sky and Crystal didn't stay at the house. They stayed. They went to a hotel.

[B]

Every.

[C]

Everyone I know who bought someone home, who bought, like, a husband or someone home, they would ghost. They would. Except for children. If you brought. If you brought your children, the children stay there.

[A]

But it is not a West Indian thing. West Indians are not like that. You have to stay at the house, girl.

[C]

Get yourself a hotel and your family can deal. You know, let the maid sleep in your room. How about that? Tell the maid she can stay the night.

[A]

We would never. Excuse me. That is absolutely not. No.

[C]

I love when the fans gather you about your maid. That shit is so that.

[A]

I don't know why the fans will get me about that.

[C]

Oh, the fans love. Monet was saying something like, maybe it was Monet's childhood maid. The fans commenting on you growing up like the only. What's T.J. what's his name? E.J.

[A]

e.J. Johnson.

[C]

Growing up like E.J.

[B]

johnson.

[C]

I don't look.

[A]

I don't look like E.J. johnson. You. Bob, you love saying stuff. And to listen to the podcast.

[C]

I didn't say look like. I said, you look like.

[A]

No, you said before on the podcast, years ago, you said, I look like E.J. johnson, and then you say something on the podcast, and then the fans grab. They grab. They grab onto that, and they just say, nice. I'm like, I do not look like E.J. johnson.

[C]

I mean, if y' all was. If y'.

[A]

All.

[C]

If you told me E.J. johnson was your brother, I'd be like, yeah, for sure. I don't think you look like twins. If you say y' all were twins, I'd be like, no. But if you were like, E.J. johnson is my brother, I'd be like, absolutely. Next question.

[A]

Before the pandemic, how much of your life would you say was spent at a hotel? I would say, for me, at least, like, 75.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, on the road, hotel, between tours and traveling and shit.

[C]

Back in the. Back in the dizzy. I was probably home out of a month. I was probably home for a week. Does that sound appropriate, Jacob? Maybe a week and a half. Maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But then there'd be times where I'd be gone for, like, a full month or a month and a half, and then I'd be back for two Weeks. And I'd be gone for, like a week or a few days.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It also. That all changed when I stopped doing the. The mega tours, when I stopped doing the Mary and Peters and the Work, the Worlds and the club tours and the Club Omicron. Oh, my God. Boosted.

[A]

Are you really?

[C]

She's boosted work.

[A]

Oh, my God. Have you seen my new tattoo?

[C]

You sent me a picture of your body piece, right?

[A]

Yeah. Well, it started. It's a little body piece.

[C]

Yeah, I saw it. Is there one on both sides?

[A]

No. I'm gonna get the other side done too.

[C]

You don't want it looking lopsided.

[A]

Well, I don't want it to be symmetrical. I want this one to be its own fantasy. So I'm, like, thinking about what that is before I get it done.

[C]

You know, when I'm in a hotel, bitch, nasty sex. I will disrespect the room. I'd be like, I ain't coming back to this motherfucker.

[A]

I mean, I do that at home. Nigga.

[C]

Nut on that lamp, nut on the phone.

[A]

Yeah. I don't get that crazy, but, I mean, I have pretty disrespectful sex at home. Like, being disrespectful to the space, not

[C]

to people, but I mean, the space.

[A]

Yes, at the space. Bitch, I'm nutting on floors. I have hardwood floors. It can clean up if lube gets everyone to bed. Bitch, it can clean when people.

[C]

When I see people online and they're coming all over, like, their beds, or you see this, like, these. These. These, like, alt Twitter, they be coming on the wall. They come on the floor. They come in. I've seen people coming in, carpets coming on the sheets. I'm like, this is crazy right now. My. My first couple of years of jacking off, I would say well into my 20s, I would masturbate in the bathroom, leaning against the sink, and then come directly into the toilet.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Or I would just come in a condom.

[C]

In a condom? Yes.

[A]

Because then that's minimal cleanup.

[C]

Yeah, but then you're. Wow, Monet's carbon footprint. This is why you feel so bad about using paper towels.

[A]

Are condoms bad? Condoms are bad for the environment.

[C]

They're a plaid. They're rubber.

[A]

I thought they were, like, biodegradable.

[C]

You thought condoms were biodegradable?

[A]

I mean, then why did everyone. Why are they so. Why didn't want everybody to use them then? Besides the obvious STDs, you think we're

[C]

using condoms because of. To reduce carbon footprint? I mean, in a way if you're reducing the chance of having babies, you are reducing your carbon footprint, in essence. But I got a feeling the sex you're having, there's no baby making popping off. Something tells me you don't know Something

[A]

tells me you don't know what's going on with modern day advances in science. Do you think one day that it will be possible for a man to carry for someone who's assigned someone who is a. Shut the fuck up. You're the problem. You're the problem with society. You're the. This. I'm looking. I'm staring right at the problem. Do you think it would be possible one day for someone who is assigned male at birth to carry a child one day?

[C]

The short answer is I actually probably do think so. But honestly, I bet you a dollar a lot of the research is going to probably come from trying to maybe do a reverse hysterectomy on someone who was assigned female at birth. And then they'll probably trip up and find some loophole to actually implanting a uterus in a person who's assigned male at birth. Probably.

[A]

Where is it going to come out of your butthole?

[C]

Well, let's talk about it after this. After this break.

[A]

Word. Okay, the brick is done.

[C]

You can have a. Okay, first of all, there's a couple things going on. You can have a C section. Do you know what C section stands for?

[A]

Circumvent. All right. Cesarean. I knew that. Do you think you do well on Jeopardy? You know a lot of random. You know a lot of random, ridiculous shit. You probably would. I don't think you'd do very well. You'd be fine.

[C]

I played Jeopardy. With my family over Christmas and I did very well. We played Jeopardy. Remember? That's the game. We played Jeopardy. No, that was. That was Price is Right. No.

[A]

Thank you, Jacob. Thank you, Jacob.

[C]

That was Family Feud. It was fun.

[A]

Thank you, Jacob. Thank you, Jacob. Because you see, here's the thing. Bobby doing this shit. If Jacob wasn't there, Bob would have went on job. Steve. Bob. Steve. Bob would have went on this train and we would have never known the truth. T. You be doing this all the time, Jacob. Thank you, Monet.

[C]

I misspoke. I literally just misspoke.

[A]

Oh, but anytime Monet exchanged. Anytime I mix me. Oh, yeah, yeah, you dumb fat nigga. I heard what you said.

[C]

That be you.

[A]

When I misspeak, I literally like 10

[C]

seconds ago, like, ye. Ye. Like literally a minute ago, I was literally just like, ye. Ye. Say it right.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Okay. Do you remember, in. Okay, so I was in. In the uk, there's this thing where in your hotel, if you're trying to bring trade to the hotel. Just. Just to be clear, in. In the gay lexicon, in the black gay lexicon, trade is typically a word used to refer to, like, someone who's, like, straight acting, but it's become a colloquialism for, like, someone. You're like, trade.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Anyway, you know, language evolves. So if you bring trade to the hotel, they can't come up.

[A]

Like, that is so annoying.

[C]

The front, like, so one time. So usually sometime you have to go down and get them. You think there are a few cases we have to go down, get them to come up. There are a few hotels where they're like, you can't have visitors.

[A]

I know. I'd be like, bitch, that's. Ooh, I am paying for this hotel room. What do you mean I can't have visitors?

[C]

They're like, you can't have. No. No. New friends.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I know. So new friends. I say, yeah. So some hotels, and it's more common in the uk. Like, you. Like, I bought my hotel with my money. I'm here in town for a night. You go on Grindr. You get your. You tell them the hotel, and then they get down. They're like, or the elevator.

[C]

They won't let me up.

[A]

Or the elevator needs a thing. So you're like. So you call down and be like, hey, my friend James is downstairs. Can you let him up, please? And they're like, no, sorry, you can't. I'm like, what do you mean I can't? Like, sorry, no visitors. I'm like, bitch. And this is before the pandemic. And they were like, no, you can't have visitors. Up. I'm like, yes, the fuck I can. I hate that.

[C]

How are you gonna tell me I can't have. Like, bitch, I'm not grounded. Bitch, you know my fucking mom, Bitch, I'm paying for this shit. Let me have. What do you mean you can't. What the fuck you mean, I can't have visitor?

[A]

That used to get me bored.

[C]

I shouldn't say this, but probably shouldn't say this. I'm gonna say it. If you don't say it, we'll edit it out. So Monet.

[A]

What? Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. What?

[C]

When Monet has Trey, but she doesn't want to go downstairs, she hides her key. Monet will be like, monet be on credit. Being like, there's a key under the rock. Bitch, not a scavenger hunt for some pussy.

[B]

Monet.

[A]

Monet. Do you know who I learned this from?

[C]

These riddles 3. You can sleep with me.

[A]

I learned that from Patty. Patty and I were in Australia, and we were at this hotel, and then we both knew Trey could come up. So, like. So we were there the night. The next day. I was like, girl, I was so mad, I couldn't get any shirt yesterday. She's like, why? Cause it couldn't come up. He's like, girl. He's like, girl, you gotta hide the key. I was like, what do you mean, hide the key? I was like, girl, I would just put it here, and I told them where to get it. I was like, patty, you are hiding keys in the trade. I was like, patty, that is crazy, bitch. The next night, I was doing the

[C]

same girl, scavenger hunt. Pussy girl, scavenger hunt, that shit. When I found out about the hidden key, that shit got me so piqued. If you look.

[A]

If you.

[C]

If you answer this riddle, it will tell you where the key is, girl.

[A]

Literally. Legend of the hidden pussy. Girl, what is the nicest hotel you think you've ever stayed at?

[C]

Mmm. So when you. When you. All right. When I used to do heaven. And I would love to go back to the heaven. In. In London, by the way, there's a hotel that's like a. It's like, literally, like in. It's like if you walk to heaven, you walk past this hotel.

[A]

The. The Abba a. A BBA hotels.

[C]

It's something like that.

[A]

It's right at Charing Cross.

[C]

That's a re. That is a very nice hotel.

[A]

That's a very nice.

[C]

Been at the. I mean, I was at a really nice hotel. Actually, the hotel itself wasn't nice. I just had a really great room in. When I went to Kona, Hawaii, for. We're here.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[C]

I was in a. I was in a. By the way, there is actually a. I just want to quickly say there's a massive problem with water pollution in Hawaii right now. If you all go to my Instagrams, I mean, I'll. I'll. I'll keep reposting as I go along, but there's a huge health crisis with the water in Hawaii right now. It is so insane that there are still places in these United States of America, of all places, that are still having these issues with having clean water to drink. It is.

[A]

I will. I will say. And this pollution problem, ironically started when. After Bob showered there. So shut your ass up. I'm not saying there's a correlation, but there's some type of correlation with that.

[C]

Shut your ass up. But what was the nicest hotel you've been in?

[A]

The nicest hotel I've been in. I don't know. I've seen a couple really nice ones. One time when it came to LA for a gig, they put me at the. The Waldorf Astoria right there on Santa Monica. The really nice one down there, like, right by the Beverly Hills Hotel. I stayed there. That was a really nice room. And then it was in New York.

[C]

There's. Oh, there's like a chain of them.

[A]

Yeah, there's one in la.

[C]

Is the president. You stay the Waldorf Astoria?

[A]

Yeah, they had me in a nice room. I forgot what the gig was. It was like someone was the last

[C]

president to say that Obama was the first president to not stay at the Waldorf. Story. Did you know that?

[A]

Right?

[C]

He. He stated he stayed at the Ace, actually in the $183 room.

[A]

See? See, I told you they're nice.

[C]

Open concept. Oh, there was something.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

So one time I was in. I think I was in Manchester or Newcastle, and we were on the Christmas tour and I had had, like, the, like the. One of the worst traveling experiences ever. It was one of those where you're, like, in the airport where, like, they're like, this fight is canceled. Like, not your flight from where you live, but, like the flight from the connection. You ever had that happen?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you're stuck in that airport for, like, forever. So I was stuck and I was so tired and I had two days off, so I went to the front desk and I was like, how much to upgrade to, like, the nicest room you have? Like, what is the. Like, I want the nicest room you have. And then the guy was like, it's this much money. And I was like, honestly, I want to do it. That was the nice. That place was crazy. It was. That was actually. That's the nicest room I've ever been in. I pay way too much money for it. But I was like, honestly, I am, like, relaxing. I'm on this tour. I'm doing, like. I read the. I've already made the money. I am trying to, like, not, like. Because sometimes those hotels especially, there's this weird thing when you go in outside of the UK and the rest of Europe, when you get to, like, Norway, Amsterdam, France, Spain, the sheets on the beds, they literally only cover. Only cover the top of the bed. And sometimes you're in like, a single or Or a double bed, like a twin size bed. So you can't. You know what I'm about. They're like, if you're at home, the. The covers go over the edge of the bed, right on every side. And at the top, it's folded back. You're on a twin sliver of a cot and the sheet is the exact same size the mattress, so it can't wrap around your body.

[A]

Or sometimes they do the thing where it's like a king size bed, but. Or it's a queen size bed, but it's two twins put together. So, bitch, you on the bed, you chilling, you turn over, bitch, you go right through the middle of the bed. You're like, this is insane.

[C]

I hate that the beds separate two sides.

[A]

I'm like, bitch, am I going down to Narnia? What is down there? What's the worst one you've ever stayed on? Stayed at?

[C]

Ooh, the worst. Okay. It was on this. It was. Should I say.

[A]

Say their names. Say their names.

[C]

The question is, should I say who we were touring with?

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

The oyster tiles area was in. Was actually on. We're here. It was in Del Rio, Texas. And it's like, it smelled so bad. It smelled like we were all in the world.

[A]

I can't stay that. I can't stay in hotels like that. Like, I literally. I won't get sleep. I can't get peace. Cause I feel so dirty.

[C]

I was there. We're here. We're not there. In and out. I was there for 10, 12 days. It was smelled. So there were stains on the wall. There were stains and there were stains on the carpet. And then also at one point, we were. At one point, someone. Someone, like, someone came over and was like, yeah, it was. I don't even know who it was, but someone's like, yeah, Greg, I. I could not stay at this hotel. And I was like, I. So they, like left. They got an Airbnb. And I was like, I know, but I've been here for seven days. It was. It was a bad.

[A]

I couldn't do that. I can't do that.

[C]

Because it was like, it was like a Best Western or a comfort. It was like one of those, like big chain hotels.

[A]

If the floors are that dirty and the walls and stuff, like, I could only imagine that y' all are not cleaning the rooms adequately. And who knows what the fuck is on my sheets? What's gonna go home with me? I wouldn't be able to get peace. I can't stay there. For me, it was when we did the Asia Australia tour of Boss Events of Work the World. And we, you know, the Dolls, it was like mid tour. So girls are getting tired. You know, it's mid tour. You're like, I miss home. I'm in this foreign country. I just want to be able to go to the fucking 711 and get a goddamn Slurpee and a Snickers bar. But I'm in this country. They don't sell Slurpees. The Snickers bar is not even milk chocolate. It's like dairy Vegemite cream. It's like, this is too much. Your body gets, like, you get so irritated. So then we get to this shitty Econolodge hotel and then from the time we pull up, we like, oh, no, bitch. We check in. The rooms are insane. Like, the beds aren't even properly made up. There are stains on the walls and shit.

[C]

Which tour is this?

[A]

This is Asia Australia, Work the World Work. So then, so then, so then, you know, you know, you know when all the girls have their own text messages grouped together. So then I think it was Violet. Violet just.

[C]

We all get to the rooms.

[A]

Violet just sends a dot, dot, dot. And then Detox is like, girl, I can't stay here. Then Kim, she was like, mm. And so we all, like, chiming in. So we all get better hotels in different parts of the city, like, for whatever price. And we all just invoice Voss. We were like, we're not staying at the hotel. These are new bills. Take care of it. I'm. They sure did.

[C]

Have you ever. One time we were on tour, I can't remember if I saw this or if I just heard about it, you know?

[B]

You know.

[C]

You ever heard stories? Many times. You can't remember if you've seen it or not.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

So allegedly a, a, a a a very famous RuPaul's Drag Race Girl. We were at a hotel. Sometimes you get to the hotel at, like, noon, but your rooms aren't ready until 2 o'. Clock. So check in is usually 2 or 3.

[A]

I think I know. I think I know where you're going.

[C]

So it happens. A lot of girls just kind of like standing in the lobby, like, just kind of like waiting around, like in the lobby, waiting to see what's going on. And usually we're kind of just like hanging out, just kind of like just sitting there. And then all of a sudden one of the girls is like, I need a room right now. And they're like, I'm sorry, we don't have One. She goes, no, I need one, literally, right now. And they're like, we don't have one. So she opened her suitcase, took off her pants, like, put on, like, some pajamas and a sleep mask, and was like, I'm going to sleep here. I'm just. Here it is. This is my room. This is my room. She, like. So she, like, laid down on the couch and was like. But, I mean, I think. I think I'm beefing up the story. I think the story's been told so many times that, like, she plugged in, like, a diffuser.

[A]

Who is it? Who is it? Say who it is.

[C]

I don't want to say who it is because I don't know if the story's true. That's why I don't want to say who it is, because I don't know if the story is true or not.

[A]

Okay, we're saying. Listen, we don't know if this story is true. This. This is just a Drag Race myth, and maybe a myth. We don't. But who is it about? Wait, let me guess. A diffuser. The drama. I'm gonna say the Dragriath girl. Is it Cameron?

[C]

The only clue I will give is this. This is the only clue I'm gonna give. She was on All Stars with you. She was on All Stars with you. All right.

[B]

What?

[A]

She was an all Star list.

[C]

Can I read you a tweet that just. Can I read you a tweet that just came out right now? I'm sitting here hearing Monet cuss a bitch out in her dressing room, only to realize she's recording sibling rivalry with Bob.

[A]

Is it Jada?

[C]

It's Shea Coulee.

[A]

Shay Shay's right next door. But let me tell you something, Jada. So on this leg of the tour is myself, Jada Shay, Kylie, Crystal Method, which I love. Crystal Method. This is my first time meeting her. She's great. I think you like her too. She's really funny.

[C]

She seemed really nice. When I met her backpack, she seemed really nice.

[A]

Jada cracks me up.

[C]

She.

[A]

She came in yesterday. She was like, y'. All. Y'. All. Civil robbery got me together, girl. She was like, do I really talk like that?

[C]

Oh, this. Well, is she taking a look?

[A]

You know, I love it.

[C]

A few girls we talk about on the podcast, they'd be getting hyphy. Two girls in particular.

[A]

I know I'd be like, y'.

[C]

All. This. Y' all are acting. I didn't. Y' all are acting a while. So was Jada like, oh, it's Cool or was Jada like, fuck you, motherfucker.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Jada's cool. Jada. Jada's one of those people that has a sense of humor about themselves. You know what I mean? And, like, we.

[C]

So you say the other two don't have a sense of humor by themselves? Wow.

[A]

They sure don't. And again. But it's also one of the things that makes her so fucking funny. But, yeah. Wait, so, okay, wait, did you say. Can you. I'm not done with that thing. Go back, bitch. She was on All Stars with me.

[C]

Oh, Manila Money. I'm not telling you who it is. All I'm saying is she was on All Stars with you. That's all I'm saying.

[A]

Oh, Valentina.

[C]

Money. I'm not. All I'm saying is she's on All Stars with you. That's all I'm saying. Have you ever been on tour with, like, with, like, some of the girls? Have you noticed, like, the. The girls who've been doing it for a while, they do not mind getting hyphy. Like the girls who've been in it for a minute.

[A]

What's being mean?

[C]

Hyphy. See? Oh, now who's not black? Now who's not black?

[A]

Hyphy.

[C]

Now who's not black, Monet?

[A]

Hyphae. What does hyphae mean?

[C]

When someone is hyphy, they're like. It's kind of like extra and combination. Like, extra and bougie. Oh, she's like, no, no, no, no. It's not uppity. It's not uppity.

[A]

Bougie.

[C]

Hyphy, you also have. That also has to be, like, an attitude with hyphy, too. Like, she getting real hyphy.

[A]

Maybe I have heard that. Maybe just the way you said it. Also, you be saying stuff with your little Southern twang that don't sound right. Maybe I've heard the word hyphen, but you saying it weird.

[C]

I also want to point out that a lot of folks, a lot of black folks were like, monet, why you gaslighting Bob drag queen. Everyone knows what a pothead is. Everyone knows what a pothead is.

[A]

I didn't say I don't know what it was. I was just saying the term that I grew up with it as is weed head. And I will say some people were like, yeah, growing up in New York, we said weed heads. But I do agree.

[C]

You said black people don't say pothead, is what you said.

[A]

Maybe I did say that. Maybe I did. Bitch, redact my dick on your Chin, how about that?

[C]

Hyphy. Urban dictionary, by the way. People. People. Certain people get mad at me when I look stuff up. Why don't you hate dictionaries? Why do you guys hate dictionaries?

[A]

Because you literally said it earlier. You said it earlier this episode. Words change. So you love reading the definition, not realizing that. Oh, the definition you're reading is antiquated, and it has changed.

[C]

Okay, I'm not reading from a. From a 1342 dictionary. I'm reading from current. These are current definitions. I'm not busting out my Britannica from when I was in kindergarten to read. I'm googling the current definition. Hyphy. The act of being very amped up. The act of being crazy. Pretty much the same as the first definition I gave. Let's get hyphy in this. You acting real hyphy. Like someone act. They acting wild. They got added to. They acting hyphy.

[A]

Interesting. I think that we need to do a poll of all the black queens. And I think that we will see everyone.

[C]

Everyone knows hyphy. Everyone knows hyphy.

[A]

I'm gonna ask the dog after this.

[C]

Knock on Shay's door right now. Shay know what hyphae is? Bring Shay over here. I'll call her. You want me to call her? I'm gonna call Shantel to come knock on your door. Hold on one second. Shay's lounge.

[A]

You have her name as Shay Lounge?

[C]

No, I just like calling her Shay's lounge.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Can you go over to Monet's room real quick?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Just real quick. We do. We.

[A]

We.

[C]

We. We're at. We need to try something out. It'll be a very small amount of your time.

[A]

Bob, Shea is busy. She is busy.

[C]

She said, give her a moment, she'll come. Thank you, Shay. Shay said, give her a moment, she'll come.

[A]

Shay has her own life going on.

[C]

Don't be trying to decide what Shay going. Don't be trying to decide for Shay. Don't be trying to decide for her. K. Moshe.

[A]

Moshe. Moshe.

[C]

There was a point in my life where I was very upset with you.

[A]

About what?

[C]

One time. Just one time.

[A]

About what?

[C]

What time you were telling me. I'll never forget this. I was so mad at you. What? I was so mad at you. What?

[A]

Bob, What?

[C]

Monet was like, I'm gonna have a World of Wonder show. I said, okay. And she goes, it's gonna be with Monique Hart. And I said, you don't want to do a show with me? And you're like, yeah, it's gonna be called. It's gonna be called Momo. It's gonna be called the Momo show. And you and Momo, you two are gonna do. And I was like, monique, I think you and I need to do something. You're like, no, we're gonna do the Momo show, and it's gonna be our thing. And then I created this platform for you.

[A]

Oh, my God. You created it.

[C]

Can you acknowledge that all that happened?

[A]

Okay, first of all, this is Monique's idea. Monique was like, we're doing a Bob. You act like you never worked with Monique.

[C]

You signed up, and you signed up. She didn't force your name.

[A]

Monique. Monique would be like, all right, Stannic, we're gonna.

[C]

Oh, Stannic. Bob.

[A]

Okay, great. You and me gonna do the visit. Okay. Static. And then we're gonna go film an ad and we're gonna be done. Great. Perfect. That is Monique. And I'm like, okay, Monique, let's do it. At this point, you were in Berkeley.

[B]

You've.

[A]

You. You know, when you had first started dating Jacob, you were acting very new, and you were acting very weird. And you, like, the way, like, you were moving around was very shifty. So I was like, I'm not gonna peed upon this thing with you, and just new fucking boyfriend. And then you calm down and things got better. But I didn't know what our future was gonna be.

[C]

Everything you're saying is false. What was I doing that was shady and shifty?

[A]

Like, you, like, make plans of me, and then, like, we're like, we're supposed to, like, have phone calls. I mean, you would just. You wouldn't call me or we wouldn't talk that day. Or you. You had, like shifted the day that you were coming back to New York.

[C]

You better make up. You. First of all, I had. First of all, I did not go to New York City one time my entire trip.

[A]

I know, but at the end of your trip, you were supposed to come back on a certain day, and you moved it like two weeks later because you want to stay more time in Berkeley.

[C]

No, I did not stay anytime in Berkeley. I left pretty much the like. Like, first of all, I was. Let me turn out. I was in Brooklyn. I was doing eight shows a week. They. You have. You have two. You have one day off a week. I was not flying across the country and back at any point in time. I did not stay any extra time in Berkeley. I did not shift my dates. None of that. You are. You just made up a full ass story.

[A]

I wish it was somewhere.

[C]

Smell your knuckles. Smell your.

[A]

Wish there was a way I could go back and, like, get the text receipts. It's so far back. That was, what, like, four years ago? I'm not gonna spend the time to do that, but I know what I'm saying is true. And again, we're fine now.

[B]

There was that one time when.

[C]

I remember there were a couple times you had a phone call with Monet, and you're like, you know what? I would rather stay and hang out with you. You said that. I think that happened at least 10 times.

[A]

Just see, see, see.

[C]

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

[A]

Why do you go to hotel rooms? Do you keep your. Do you feel the pressure to keep your room clean? I do.

[C]

No. Hell no. My room be looking crazy as fuck. My room be looking crazy.

[A]

Okay? I'm not, like, cleaning it, like, cleaning, cleaning it. But, like. Like, when I'm leaving, I'm not, like, the sheets and all, like, on the floor. The towels are on the ceiling. I'm like, you know, I. I try to keep it crazy.

[C]

My room looks crazy. I don't do anything to make my room look tidy. I. I open up the suitcase. First of all, I never. I never unpack my suitcase.

[A]

Oh, my God. Manila, bitch. I gagged. When Manila gets to a hotel, she unpacks all of her bags and puts them in all the drawers in the hotel room. I said, girl, no matter. No matter. She's there for one day or 10 days, she does it every time. I'm like, no. The time it takes to do that. Them drawers probably dirty as hell. No, she does it every time, though.

[C]

You know, I never unpack my suitcases.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

I also never zip them back up. They'd just be open, open on. On top of. On top of each other. The covers be all switched up. And if it. I mean, obviously, whenever I travel, I do drag bitch. When I say these pillows be covered in makeup. When I say, if there is a pillow in my room, your is about to be black, brown, and blue.

[A]

Oh, for sure. For sure.

[C]

On these pillows.

[A]

And then. And when I get ready, I use the hotel like towels. I'm, like, sponging my brushes in there. There's colors, my.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

The towels and sheets. It's a wrap. Get new ones. Y' all can afford to get new ones. But also, Bob.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That means that we. That means that we're having a negative carbon footprint. We are. We are. Because they probably have to throw those away. You can't get those stains out of

[C]

There they wash them.

[A]

You cannot wash purple. Can't even get off my skin. You think I'm gonna get off of a white towel, bitch, Whatever room you.

[C]

And they probably burn the sheets when you leave anyway. Henny. So you worked at a hotel?

[A]

I did. The Yale Club in New York City.

[C]

So has that influenced your time as a. As a guest in a hotel?

[A]

Bitch, no. I mean, if anything, I know I can call bullshit when they say stuff like, like, like when you check in and, and they have to like check with the manager. Bitch, you don't have to check with the manager. You can, you know if you can upgrade me. You can, you know if you can upgrade me or not. You just don't know. You just don't feel like you want to. Or if you tell me you're gonna check with somebody, that means you're not gonna do it. So don't, don't fucking piss on my leg and tell me that. It's a fucking snowstorm, bitch. You just don't want to do it and that's fine.

[C]

Can you stay at the Yale Club if you didn't go to Yale?

[A]

No, you could, you could only be stay at the Yale Club of hotel. You can only stay at the Yale Club in New York City if you're a member or a member referred you. Like, you get like a letter signed by them saying you can stay.

[C]

Is it worth it?

[A]

I mean, the rates were pretty comparable with everything else in the area. I mean, it was right at Grand Central.

[C]

Be a member and then pay to say too.

[A]

Oh yeah, bitch, you don't. You don't get the rooms for free.

[C]

It's not free. I thought you pay like a. So what, what's. What, what's. What's so great about the. What's sort of about the Yale when you can just pay stay at like

[A]

a nice hotel like the Conrad anyway, because the Yale. Because, girl, these people, it's just about like saying like, oh, I'm a member of the Yale Club in New York City. Because the dues for the thing, I think annually the dues were like about $5,000. And every time you stay, like, the rooms are like maybe like $180 a night. But you can like billet directors your membership. And it's just all about the saying that you're a member of the Yale Club. It's all of that, girl. You know, rich people are fucking weird. They just want to have the privilege of saying that they're a member of

[C]

the club, I guess. I mean, if I Didn't know you. I would never even heard of the fucking Yale Club.

[A]

Yeah, that's because you didn't go to. That's because you didn't finish college. Rukukukuku.

[C]

Wow. The elitism really jumped out today. Wow. So if you are one of our listeners who also had to stop college because it was too expensive, Monet was talking about you, too.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Nene.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about you.

[C]

Wow. The real Kevin Burton just showed up to this podcast. Henny, here's the question I have for you.

[A]

Are you gonna stay at Trixie Motel? No, I will not.

[C]

I would say Trixie Motel if I was. I mean, I don't frequent Palm Springs, and usually when I go to Palm Springs, I drive back. I don't stay in Palm Springs for the night normally.

[A]

I mean, I definitely want to stay at least once.

[C]

I would go stay. Yeah. But I mean. Oh, yeah. Trixie has a tv. So Trixie's the Trixie Motel. This bitch is.

[A]

Did you see what RuPaul said? RuPaul was like, Trixie Mattel is so rich. I said, I mean, RuPaul ain't wrong.

[C]

Wait, what did she say?

[A]

You didn't see this? RuPaul was on the Jimmy Fallon so. And on the offset Trixie Matel.

[C]

Trixie Mattel.

[A]

Yeah. It's so rich. That's a T. I live.

[C]

I don't know what she said. That's such a weird thing to say. It's kind of weird to go on and, like, discuss the finances. I mean, I get. But we talk about people's finances a lot. I guess it's not that weird. I mean, we were literally just talking about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I guess seems also maybe RuPaul's trying to deflect because that bitch is rich. Rich. Like, RuPaul is

[A]

Coinsada's girl.

[C]

Yeah, RuPaul is like.

[A]

I love to see it.

[C]

RuPaul is millions in the doubles. Like. Like, she probably. Like. I don't. I don't want to guess. I have no way of knowing.

[A]

How do you even guess?

[C]

But she has a lot of fucking money. That. That I do know. But. But what I was saying was when you. Can Trey sleepover?

[A]

Can Trey sleep over?

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

When I was a woman of the world, trade could not sleep in my house because a few things.

[C]

Not your house, the hotel.

[A]

No, because I've heard so many stories, like back in the Dizzay, like how Katya got robbed by trade. And the one of another girl. I don't want to say her business. Who. She could. Oh, but you.

[C]

Katya's business. Drag her.

[A]

Because everyone knows. Everyone has talked about Katya. These other girls. I've never heard anyone talk about it, and it's not. She could anyway. Was she on All Stars with you? She was not on All Stars with me.

[C]

Was she on All Stars at all?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Was she on Logo, or was she on.

[A]

I'm not Bob. I'm not doing.

[C]

Last question, last question. Was she on Logo, Orchard? On Viacom?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

So she was from an early season, and she did All Stars.

[A]

Got it. And so is she black? You said that's the last question. You don't get other ones after the last one you asked.

[C]

You don't have to answer any of these questions. But was she black anyway?

[A]

So she was black.

[C]

Got it. And is she from the South? Is she the dancing diva of Texas?

[A]

I'll trade with. Like, I don't trust people. Like, people are. And I. And I know, like, it's already risky having, like, having a hookup already. Like, who knows what can happen or can transpire in that moment. But something about, like, when you sleeping a. I would not fall asleep because I would be on high alert the entire time. I don't know what this person is capable of. And I've told you, like, the shady business dealings I've had in fucking the UK where that guy tried to steal my beats. The guy fucking shit in the toilet.

[C]

Wait, did we tell this during the podcast already?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

That was for anyone who's not listening. Monet, can you just do a quick recap? That was one of the crazy. I forgot about that bitch. That was crazy.

[A]

Long story short, it was New Year's Eve when I did Shangela Vanjie, and I did New Year's Eve in heaven going into 2020, and this. And this guy hit me up on Grindr. He hit me up, and I was like, okay. He was like. And he was like, I'm gonna come over, but I don't have WI Fi, so. So you got to, like, look out for me. I was like, but you can't just message me, like, from your data. He's like, I don't have data. I was like, red flag number one. I should have stopped. And I was like, okay. So when he finally got there, he got onto WI Fi, and I brought it.

[C]

Monet, don't fuck broke. Wow.

[A]

Because broke boys don't deserve no pussy. I know that's right.

[C]

Have you heard that Clip of Nicki Minaj going broke. People should never laugh.

[A]

So he came over, he came upstairs, and red flag number two, he smelled funny. And I was like, oh, God. I was like. And I was getting towards the notion of this nigga is homeless or houseless. And then. So then he gets here. He looked crazy, like he was on maybe some type of drug. And then he came in, we chatted for a little bit, and he's already taking his pants off when I tell you the pungent odors that came from this man's pants were enough to fucking send me into orbit. And I was like, no. So then I was immediate no. The pictures he sent were hot. The person that showed up, I was like, this is not who was in the picture.

[C]

Is it like he. Is it like he just looked bad or he's literally not the same person?

[A]

It was like the person for the picture, like, looked really bad. It was definitely the same person. But he gave.

[C]

It was when he looked better.

[A]

Yeah. When he looked way better. Yeah. So then as soon as I smell his crotch, I was like, no. So then I was like, hey, sorry.

[C]

That's the quote of the episode. What made. When they say that as soon as I smelled his crotch, I was like, no.

[A]

So then I was like, oh, my God. My friend, who I'm sharing this room with, mind you, it's like a fucking. A small king room in fucking London, right? I was like, my friend is coming, so she's spending the night with me, so you have to go. And he was like, right now? I was like, yeah, I'm sorry. And he's like, can I, like, at least use your bathroom? I was like, sure. So he goes to the bathroom for, like, five minutes. Then he comes back. As he's coming back, my beats were sitting on the desk of the hotel. He takes my beets and he puts them in his pocket. But I, like, see him. I'm like, did you just take something from the table? And he was like, no. I was like, you just took something from the table? He's like, no, I didn't. I was like, you took something from the table. I know you did. And then he's like, no. I was like, I'm gonna call the police. So then I pick up, and he's like, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. He takes the beats out of his.

[C]

But they said blue lives matter.

[A]

He takes the beats out of his pocket. He gives them to me. I was like, get out. You have to leave. And he was like, can I have 10 dol. And I was like, no, you can't have $10. He's like, But I need $10. I was like, I don't have. You can't have $10. He'S like. He's like, okay. I was like, I'm going to call the cops. Okay, okay. And he's walking towards the door. He's like, okay, can I have $5? I was like, no, you can't have any money. Then I finally got him out, but I was like, bitch, I was so scared. I, like, put the latch on my door. I was so scared, crazy.

[C]

I can't even imagine. I literally cannot imagine.

[A]

Somebody tried to rob you, Bob. You can't imagine.

[C]

But I was in their space. I wasn't in my own space.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

So I, I, I've let Trey sleep over before. I've let Trey sleep over. I have left trade in the hotel. I mean, with your stuff. No, like, like, you hook up and then, like, you leave in the morning, and then they just wake up and they're just, like, by themselves in a hotel.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I've never done that because they don't sleep over when I would do that.

[C]

I guess I, I'm just more. I'm just very. I'm a very trusting person.

[A]

You trust too much, girl. No, like. Well, you don't know what, Bob, These people. You don't know. This person can. Everything you know about this person can be a complete lie bitch. They can fucking slit your throat in the middle of your sleep. Like, you don't know anything about this person.

[C]

I slide those too.

[A]

You what?

[C]

I could slit their throats, too.

[A]

Yeah, like that time you perfectly, like, fucking mastermind you murdering me. Can I tell you, I can't even listen to the episode.

[C]

You asked me to come up with a plan, and I came up with one.

[A]

Okay, but the plan was to. It was too methodical. It was very, it was very dark. I can't listen to that episode. I feel very unsafe listening to that episode.

[C]

Well, I didn't send you the Google document that I had written up before you asked me. I could have just seen the whole Google file. Here are the pictures. Here are the plans. Here's my alibi. I already have a passport. I have a fake passport written up. Let's take a quick break. We'll talk more about this girl.

[A]

No, bitch. Now the break is done.

[C]

Oh, we're done.

[A]

Yeah. I gotta go.

[C]

I think. I don't think Shay's gonna make it over.

[A]

Yeah, she's. Wait. That was it. Wait, Jacob, can we. Kill me, kill me, kill me. Can we wrap it up?

[C]

A good ending with Jacob? We just. That's not a good ending, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

I'm sorry. Jacob is trying to end the podcast. I don't know what Jacob got going on, but.

[C]

Oh, my God, you are so messy today.

[A]

Bob, thank you for talking to me about hotels.

[C]

Thank you. And I'm sorry that my was being so highy today, everyone.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

We.

[A]

We.

[C]

We gathered her and got her back together. Gather her like a chignon.

[A]

Well, listen, you have a blessed day, the best rest of your week, and I pray that the Lord continues to bless you openly, thoroughly, and meticulously.

[C]

And a hallelujah to you, too.

[A]

Amen.