The One About Hygiene

Summary

Podcast Summary: Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Hygiene"

Date: September 22, 2021
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Theme: Hilarious, candid, and deeply honest discussion about all things hygiene – including personal, cultural, and slightly TMI moments.

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Overview

In this lively and laughter-filled episode, fan-favorite drag queens Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change dive into the topic of hygiene. They explore their personal habits and preferences, break down Black cultural hygiene norms, share stories from childhood and touring life, and pull no punches when it comes to self-deprecating moments. The episode is as educational as it is hilarious, showcasing the duo's chemistry and openness on even the most taboo topics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Sibling Rivalry" Dynamic (01:40–08:00)

• The hosts reflect on their friendship dynamic, their ability to have arguments and get over them, and dreams for the podcast’s future (like becoming the "new Breakfast Club").
• Quote: “I think it's healthy. Friends that can't have discourse or can't have arguments and recover—I'm like, that's weird to me. That's a part of life.” – Monét (01:50)
• They discuss how authenticity and honesty are at the core of their brand.

2. Fitness, Body Image, and Drag (02:15–06:00)

• Bob shares his experience working with a celebrity trainer (shoutout to Ridge), discussing eating habits, accountability, and body changes pre- and post-quarantine.
• Monét and Bob reminisce about past drag looks and body transformations.
• Quote: “I had to lose weight just so I can get back in this outfit because it was pre-quarantine.” – Bob (05:03)

3. Culture and Hygiene Norms (23:31–27:17)

• The conversation shifts to deeply rooted hygiene practices in Black communities, contrasting with viral revelations about some white celebrities’ habits.
• Monét highlights major cultural differences, e.g., washing with a rag and cleaning behind ears, neck, and belly button.
• Quote: “It’s heavily enforced in the Black community to bathe with a rag, to wash behind your ears, your belly button, the back of your neck…” – Monét (23:45)
• They riff on viral stories (Mila Kunis, Jake Gyllenhaal, etc.) about infrequent bathing habits with humor and disbelief.

4. Shower Schedules and Personal Habits (25:24–29:59)

• Bob and Monét compare their own showering routines:
  • Monét showers daily/often twice (26:03)
  • Bob showers most days, unless lazy or not leaving the house (25:47)
  • Gym, drag, or sex are always triggers for a shower
• Debate over outside vs. inside clothes, and the “Subway Rule” (not wearing subway-ridden clothes on beds/furniture).

5. Bedwetting, Sleepwalking, and Hygiene Challenges (28:35–31:03)

• Childhood confessions: both admit to bedwetting until about age 12, with stories about sleepwalking and sleep-peeing.
• Quote: “Being a bedwetter is really embarrassing because you can’t help it.” – Bob (29:33)

6. Handwashing (31:49–34:39)

• Honesty about sometimes skipping soap, or only washing hands after the bathroom if not cold; questioning whether people should wash hands before touching genitals.
• Brief discussion of bacteria (MRSA, cellulitis) and why hands may be dirtier than genitals.
• Tips for not touching bathroom door handles.
• Quote: “You should really wash your hands before you touch your dick.” – Bob (32:05)

7. Candles, Perfume, and Touring with Divas (38:40–42:55)

• Bob admits to hating perfume and candles; tells story of touring with Monique Heart and Thorgy Thor, where perfume in close quarters led to meme wars and in-jokes.
• Quote: “So now you have two days of cologne on the jacket—the jacket already smells like la baslabbala.” – Bob (42:17)
• The drama of cologne and scent sensitivity on the road is recounted with memes and laughter.

8. Oral and Dental Hygiene (45:02–48:48)

• Both use electric toothbrushes (Sonicare); dentist feedback on improved gum health.
• Discuss flossing frequency, environmental guilt over one-use flossers, and the genetic component of dental health.
• Quote: “Cavities and stuff are genetic… You’re probably just not predisposed to having cavities.” – Monét’s dentist (47:58, relayed by Monét)

9. Hair Hygiene & Black Hair Myths (77:05–79:13)

• They touch on the myth that Black people can’t wash hair daily and debate the healthiness and practicality of frequent washing.

10. TMI Time: Pee, Poop, and Bodily Functions (64:54–69:38)

• Ever hygienically adventurous, they discuss peeing in the shower, urine’s sterility, sexual boundaries with pee, blood, and poop, and the accidental gross-outs that occur in sex and drag.
• Memorable moment: Monét describing the time involving a Cleveland Steamer (68:04).
• A running theme: honesty, humor, and not being grossed out by TMI topics.

11. Pedicures, "Baby Feet,” and Foot Confidence (72:30–74:45)

• Monét encourages Bob to try "Baby Feet" (chemical foot peel), which bizarrely doesn't work on Bob.
• They joke about the aesthetics of their feet in open-toed heels vs. pumps, and Monét’s desire for Bob to embrace open-toed shoes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Friendship & Disagreement:
  “Friends that can’t have arguments and recover…that’s weird to me.” – Monét (01:50)
• On Black Hygiene Norms:
  “It’s heavily enforced in the Black community to bathe with a rag…” – Monét (23:45)
• On Viral White Celeb Hygiene News:
  “It’s a fucking epidemic now with white people revealing that they don’t wash themselves, they don’t use rags…” – Monét (23:42)
• On Bedwetting:
  “Being a bedwetter is really embarrassing because you really can’t help it.” – Bob (29:33)
• On Fragrance Overload on Tour:
  “You wearing a jacket and you go, and when you put it back on, there’s still fragrance on the jacket…but you grab another dose of cologne.” – Bob (42:17)
• On Pee Boundaries:
  “Would you do blood? …No, I don’t like that either.” – Bob (67:10)
• On Hygiene “Showdown”:
  “Who do you think has better hygiene between you and me?” – Bob (75:47) “Me.” – Monét (75:57) “The fact that you went nine days without showering…” – Monét (76:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------| | 01:40 | Friendship, arguments, and podcast chemistry | | 05:03 | Getting back into drag outfits post-quarantine | | 23:31 | Black hygiene norms vs. viral white celeb confessions | | 25:47 | Discussion: daily shower habits | | 29:33 | Bedwetting & sleepwalking stories | | 31:49 | Handwashing honesty and bathroom tricks | | 38:40-42:55| Cologne drama on tour | | 45:02-48:48| Dental hygiene and flossing | | 64:54-69:38| Pee/poop boundaries and TMI body discussions | | 72:30-74:45| "Baby Feet" & foot confidence | | 75:47-77:38| Who's cleaner? Showdown |

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Tone & Final Thoughts

The episode is full of friendly ribbing, candid storytelling, and unfiltered humor, with a willingness to delve into even the grossest of hygiene topics without shame. Bob and Monét’s chemistry is on full display, as they share, educate, and entertain with perfect comedic timing and infectious laughter. If you'd ever wanted to know the drag queen truths about shower routines, cologne-induced bus drama, or the secret to foot confidence, this is the Sibling Rivalry episode to hear.

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Perfect for:
Fans of honest, boundary-pushing humor; those curious about drag lifestyle realities; anyone who wants real talk about hygiene with the perfect amount of overshare.

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(Ad sections, extended intros/outros, and sponsor reads were omitted for brevity and relevance.)

Transcript

[A]

Monet. I was just looking up the anchor app. Have you heard about this? I've heard of it.

[B]

Something to do with podcasts. Right.

[A]

Okay, so anchor is the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. It's absolutely free. And they have this creation tool that lets you record a podcast and edit it right from your phone or your computer.

[B]

Oh, that's right. Cause they can distribute your podcast for you, and it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all the other podcast distribution places.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Oh, and you will get the listeners, honey. And when you get the listeners, you make the coin Faras. But here's the crazy thing. You actually don't have to have a minimum listenership to get money. You can still make coins.

[B]

So it's essentially every single thing you need to make a podcast all in one place.

[A]

Oh, you're just so tickled. You love the idea of making podcasts.

[B]

I love you, Monae. I love you.

[A]

Now, listen, if you want to download the free anchor app, you can also go to Anchor FM and get started. My name is Bob the Drag Queen,

[B]

and I'm Monet X Change.

[D]

And this is sibling rivalry.

[B]

On this episode, we find out why my school is dead as hell.

[A]

We talk about hygiene, and we find

[B]

out what made Bob say this.

[A]

Okay, in my defense. In my defense, what happened was. And we find out what made Monet X Change say this quote you.

[B]

What is that based off of?

[A]

Do you think it's. Do you think most people argue this, Mr. Rica?

[B]

I don't think I. I think a lot of friends say they do, like, on this. On the Patreon. And so they say, oh, my God, you guys are just like me and my best friend. And I think. I think it's healthy. Friends that don't. That can't have discourse or can't have arguments and, like, recover. I'm like, that's weird to me. That's a part of life.

[A]

I don't think that we. I don't think we've ever had an argument that we haven't resolved.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't think we've ever not been more bonded after we resolved it for sure. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Okay, so you're with the trainer, who is amazing, and you were just recounting Shout Out Ridge. Ridge. And you just, like, recounting how. And that is. Honestly, that's fierce.

[A]

So Naomi Smalls put me up on. I cannot stop looking at my camera. So Naomi Smalls put me up on a ridge. And Rich is amazing. Rich. I don't know If I'm allowed to say who he trained by, no name. He's pretty public about it, but he trains a couple of drag race girls.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, and anyway, so he. He, like, I send him pictures of everything I eat.

[B]

That's fierce.

[A]

And then I didn't send a picture of him today. And he goes. He. He sent me a text today, which

[B]

was, can we please. Jay, can we please just put a screenshot and send it? Cause that shit is. That is go. That is so good, Bob.

[A]

It says, by the way, I spied on you earlier. What were you eating while playing smash with? And then I said, smart sweets, low calorie candy. He says, a screen grab circles the carbohydrates and goes, oh, my God. With this emoji. And then I said, is that bad? Oh, no. Goes, yeah, way too many. Way too many for such a small serving.

[B]

Okay. Can I say I feel like I'm doing, like. Do you remember the movie Bridesmaids?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When they were, like, secretly working out. Like, the guy was training and they were, like, working outside. I feel like, literally, because of all the information I'm getting from you about

[A]

Run me my dog, Run me my dome.

[B]

I have stopped. I have stopped drinking Crystal Light. I stopped doing so many things because. Because of the information you. I'm getting from you. But this is really good for me. I think we. We should keep on training.

[A]

I have been. I have been slimming down you.

[B]

Do you look like it. You lose and gain weight fast? Well, not gain. You lose very fast.

[A]

Do you gain?

[B]

I feel like you do it over time, but you also. You don't gain weight everywhere. You gain. You.

[A]

What do you.

[B]

Where.

[A]

Watch it. What do I give away?

[B]

In your face. It's in your face the most. I feel.

[A]

I feel like it's my belly.

[B]

No.

[A]

And my butt. Like, it's just like.

[B]

You have a great butt. See, I like it when your butt

[A]

is like, more bodish, but it comes with the belly. I went through a tick tock of me, like, my TikTok was gonna be me doing, like, sit up something. And then, you know when it says, like, a name and go, my belly. Like, what you doing? And I'm like. And I'm like, you know, so it's like. It'll say, like, me. And they'll say. It'll be like. Like a blower therapist.

[B]

Oh, God, I got it.

[A]

And then I want me to come on and be like, wait, what are you doing? And I'm like, it's not personal. This has nothing to do with you. I'm just trying to.

[B]

I'm just trying to do this.

[A]

And then he goes, okay, that's fine. All right, ass, let's go. No, no, you can stay. No, no, no.

[B]

Yeah. Also, that fucking TikTok you did me many moons ago when you. It's like, before your comedy one, it was like one of your most viral tiktoks. When you like, you. You get into drag.

[A]

You.

[B]

You like.

[A]

You like. Oh, it's huge. It's crazy.

[B]

Cause the trans. It's wild.

[A]

But you. You should be. I mean, you see this all the time.

[B]

I know, but it was just the way you composed in the video. It was just. It was very, like.

[A]

I also was particularly large. Particularly large at that time. I had to wear an outfit this year that I haven't worn in over a year. And the. Okay. The fact that I got back in that garment is insane. I had to lose weight to get. I have never had to lose weight for a role. I lost weight just so I can get back in this outfit because it was pre quarantine.

[B]

It's a cute outfit. You have so many great things over here. I'm. I'm so jealous of how many great clothes you get. You. You get what? Per season you get.

[A]

At least I get two. Two. Two outfits. No, two episodes. Two outfits per episode. And. And every once in a while, if I'm the host, I get three from Domino Couture. Yeah.

[B]

That's insane. What are you gonna do with all this stuff? You should, like, RuPaul. Get a storefront. Put all your looks on display.

[A]

I mean, money. You have a lot of clothes.

[B]

Yeah, but you. But I'm saying. But with. But also.

[A]

But it has two closets, literally full of clothes and a storage unit.

[B]

But these are like couture. Like, they're big. They're like. They're, like, really ornate and really elaborate. And, you know, Domino is a really good designer, so they're all really well made, and they all look cool. So cool.

[A]

I got one on your looks.

[B]

Which one?

[A]

This. The away luggage look. Oh, it was so good. Well, thank you. But are you, like, midriffing?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no. I'll wait under those. Imagine me being like, yes.

[B]

In our sewing challenge, you had a midriff on. It was very cute, Bob. Did I?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You were fully midriff. You had that. That denim skirt, and you made that fucking. That. Your blue cheetah tube top thing.

[A]

The funny thing about the video is I accidentally sewed the skirt wrong. So in the video, I try to turn really fast.

[B]

Did you turn around the seam?

[A]

You must have sew the seam like me, flip it, and then the scene looks like that. Yeah, but I just sewed them just flat to each other trying to rush. I won that one.

[B]

Remember that?

[A]

You did. But I just feel like my outfit was better.

[B]

What base it, to quote you. What is that base off of?

[A]

It was two pieces.

[B]

A tube top and a tube. Two tubes.

[A]

No, it wasn't. It was a full tank.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And it went around the corset, and it was separate. But in your defense, Diego chose your outfit, and I think all the fans did, too. I think it came down to fabric.

[B]

You think?

[A]

I wish we could find that footage.

[B]

So bad.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was. That was such a crazy day. I need to start, like, getting, like, those big terabyte things. I need to start saving, like, every bit of raw footage from everything we do, because we're gonna be doing this for a long time.

[B]

I think so, too. I think. Okay, can I say something not controversial? Can I tell you what I think we should do? How do you think about.

[A]

Why are you whispering? There's no one here.

[B]

How do you think about adding a third day? Monday, Wednesday, Fridays?

[A]

Let me tell you right now, my honest. My dream is to have this be like the new Breakfast Club.

[B]

I mean, I would love that.

[A]

I think that you and I have the ability to take it there. I think that we are really open and honest. There's very little artifice, which is why sometimes I think people are kind of, like, not used to people who are just so giving of their emotions and their. And we cried on this podcast. We laugh on this podcast.

[B]

It's also because I feel is that when you just tackle something like how we do, there's no. We don't have to remember shit because we're not making shit up. You know what I mean? Like, we're so forthcoming. We're honest, and we say our truths and our feelings, our emotions. And so you can't be like, well, this. Because we're being honest. Like, you can't.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

You know, so. I don't know what I just said.

[A]

I don't think that going three times. I pick what you're saying. It's easier because we're being truthful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think three times a week sounds really fierce. This is not an announcement, but I think that we. We could incorporate some sort of what's what I'm looking for current events type moment.

[B]

I think we can, too. I would like that.

[A]

Oh, my God. I remember. I remember begging you to do stuff like this on the podcast. I remember, like, begging you to do a video with every podcast and you being like, I.

[B]

Okay, to be fair, when we had that conversation, we were not making money for this podcast. We were.

[A]

Look, I told you, we will make it if we put work into it.

[B]

Yeah, but at that point, there are other things that were more important. So I'm like, I cannot be. We can't. I cannot be getting up in drags to do civil rivalry. And we were literally doing it just for ourselves at that point.

[A]

Okay, wow. Drag our original pages. Drag the OG pages.

[B]

We were doing it for ourselves at that point. So I was like, this is crazy. But then when we started to. When it become. Really became a business and something that we were making money off of that, I'm like, then this makes sense.

[A]

I mean, that's a. That's a fair assessment. That's why I, like, I mean. I mean, I'll. I'll take a little video that maybe Jay can incorporate so I can see. Like, I've invested in, like, all this stuff. I mean, you can't even see because it's so fucking fierce bright.

[B]

Well, when we get there, we can do, like a. Yeah, I'll do a

[A]

video for you guys, but, like, we're

[B]

gonna get a big neon sign here.

[A]

I'm very grateful that you are willing to, like, really embark on this journey with me with this ridiculous podcast.

[B]

What is. To me, this setup was the fiercest thing about this, that it's all your money, so I don't have to worry about it affecting me.

[A]

I think that you should pay for the neon sign yourself.

[B]

I don't think that's how that works. Here's my sibling rivalry will pay for the neon sign, because this studio, this is. Bob. Let's say you and I have the biggest fight tomorrow when we break up, I don't get any of this. This is all yours. Within sign. We can cut that bitch in half. Consistent rivalry.

[A]

Who's getting sibling?

[B]

Who's getting sibling? I want sibling. You can have rivalry.

[A]

I think that. Okay, so I feel like because we're using my space, the rental is viewed by the sign. That seems fair. I bought three cameras, light poles. I painted this.

[B]

Get enough. Did you paint this yourself?

[A]

Me and Mitch.

[B]

You and Mitch.

[A]

No, no, Let me go. The whole thing. Me and Mitch painted this room.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then me and Jacob. Most of me painted these things, but

[B]

we hung them together. But we hung them together.

[A]

We didn't hang them together.

[D]

Y' all can't see.

[B]

Jacob just did this.

[A]

Me and Jacob painted and hung these curtains. We didn't paint the curtains. We painted the. Oh, my God, Jacob. Okay, in my defense. In my defense, what happened was I painted the two by fours myself, and then Jacob and I hung the curtains. Does that sound fair?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Work.

[A]

Now we better fight. And I need a steam. This curtain behind you.

[B]

Yeah, you got my shit raggedy. But yours is all steam for steam.

[A]

Well, yours is fresh out of the pack. And this one was hang already.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I do like the color. I do like the black curtains.

[A]

I didn't think.

[B]

I like them. Well, they work well with this gray wall. I feel for sure.

[A]

Well, we can get.

[B]

I love this color. This is, like. I love this color.

[A]

Jacob picked this color. Jacob's really. Jacob is really good with, like, colors. And he went to art school, so he's, like, really good at, like, huge.

[B]

I went to art school, too.

[A]

No, like, visual arts school.

[B]

We have visual arts at my school

[A]

as well, but he went to a visual arts school. You went to a performance art school?

[B]

Were there any performance artists at your school, Jacob? Yeah. Thank you.

[A]

No, but Jacob. So Jacob went to the new school, and they have a performance department and a arts school department.

[B]

Westminster has an arts department. Fine arts.

[A]

Your. Your college is a rap. It doesn't even exist anymore.

[B]

This is.

[A]

This is dead as hell.

[B]

That is literally the.

[C]

The.

[B]

That is literally your mama dead as hell. You literally just your mama dead as hell.

[A]

They're going dead. Dead as hell.

[B]

Damn. Wow. Girl,

[A]

I went to college. Dropout.

[B]

I can't make fun of nobody, girl. My college, Westminster, was stank, okay? Stank and nasty. And I loved it when I was there. But it's just so sad. But imagine, Bob took village is empty now. $2,000 a year for four years, okay? And now the college is gone.

[A]

You can't even go back and look, be like I used to.

[B]

They're, like, in the process.

[A]

It's a Panera.

[B]

It was that small. You went there. They're in the process of, like, bringing everything to the. The Ryder, which is Lawrenceville. It's another part of Jersey. It's, like, crazy. It's so sad.

[A]

I'm sorry to hear that. Are you. What is that? Like, do you have, like, a strong connection? I don't give a fuck about my college.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Girl, csu. I don't give up for no csu.

[B]

Well, Westminster choir college is the only choir college in the world, okay?

[A]

That's the only one that exists at the time. Back in Mary Gay, CSU was the only college in Georgia that did theater education as a degree, which was why I went to that.

[B]

Because I wanted to be.

[A]

I wanted to be a drama teacher. A drama teacher. Imagine being a drama teacher.

[B]

I was literally about to say I conceived in a drama teacher. For sure. You will be that school. You will be that teacher. Like, would you let kids like stay in your room and stuff? They're getting bullied and stuff like that. And like let them eat lunch with you. Because nowadays that's probably weird. It's like you don't want to have a kid have lunch in your room because you don't want it. You know what I'm saying? I feel like there's like so much. I mean, scary.

[A]

I would probably have like a teacher's aide or someone else, but I would not hang out solo with a child.

[B]

No, right. Yeah, we had that in my school. Kids that don't want to like go, like you would just stay in the class and be the teacher.

[A]

I spent some one on one time with Ms. Baker, my. My drama teacher. But I think if anything, because I was the one in danger of some accusations. Not Miss.

[B]

She was a white woman. Yeah.

[A]

Not Miss fucking Baker. My black ass. Hanging out with the only Jewish lady in Georgia. Ms. Baker. Kathy Baker. Shout out, shout out. Kathy Baker. She was amazing.

[B]

Did you think Kathy is still alive?

[A]

I mean, I haven't called her today. I visited Ms. Baker probably like five years ago.

[B]

And once you go to your high school reunion. You've not been to any of your high school reunions, Bob, you have to go.

[A]

Well, I missed the 10 and the 15, but I can catch up.

[B]

Bob, you have to go, bitch. And when you go, you have to go in full drag.

[A]

You didn't go to yours in drag.

[B]

I didn't go to mine at all because I didn't know what was happening.

[A]

Not you talking, so you gotta.

[D]

But yours.

[A]

You do know what has happened. It happened 10 years when you graduated bitch on homecoming.

[B]

But no one hit me up.

[A]

It's during homecoming you're supposed to have home.

[B]

We don't have a. Our school is different. We don't have homecoming. It's weird. It's like a bunch of people hit each other on Facebook and they literally go hang out at the Starbucks. It's ghetto.

[A]

That is ghetto.

[B]

It's very New York.

[A]

Earth is ghetto. I wanna leave.

[B]

So you know what I mean? But Bob, okay, picture this. You go back to high school.

[A]

Would you come with me?

[B]

I Absolutely wouldn't. We can imagine having matching looks. Also, I'm sure one of your partners want to go.

[A]

You have to bear in mind too like, I'm fucking Bob. I can bring whoever the fuck I want.

[B]

Damn, daddy.

[A]

But I will say this. The thing about my high school. I saw an episode of Queer Eye where Jonathan Van Ness went back to his high school. And everyone was like, we all just love Jonathan so much. I went to a high school in the hood. And the students would not be like, oh, my God. They'd be like this faggot on fucking tv. I heard you.

[B]

You went to this school. But that's the thing. We would stunt so hard, bitch. We're gonna get like the fiercest fucking looks and storm into the fucking reunion.

[A]

I feel like I would be triggered. Monet. They were like. It was a. You know, it was a hood ass.

[B]

Black.

[A]

High school.

[B]

Very. Does everybody say the last dance like that? That high school? Julia Stones.

[A]

More like East Compton Clovers. You know, they didn't do a lot in school. No, more like. What's the one with. What's the one with Freedom Riders? No, no, no. Let me get there. Morgan Freeman, High school high.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Where they sing Sunset. Lean On Me.

[B]

Yeah, it is Lean On Me. That's the name of the movie. Lean On Me.

[A]

It's Lean On Me.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Except there's no teacher there being nice. Let's talk about a little more after the break, okay?

[B]

Mm, mm, mm.

[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Do you think black people be a little extra about hygiene?

[B]

Yeah, I think we're. That's just how we were raised. I don't know. Not raised. I mean, okay, that's not true. I think, I think it is.

[A]

Everyone had a dirty, a dirty, a dirty whatever your name is.

[B]

But it's privileged. It's pretty heavily enforced in the black community to bathe with a rag to wash behind your ears, your belly button, the back of your neck. Like, is that all my friends I grew up with? Like, we all have those stories of growing up block and you know, this is, it's Like a fucking. At epidemic now with white people revealing that they don't wash themselves, they don't use rags. What's her name? Mila. Mila Kunis.

[A]

One of them from Family Guy.

[B]

The one from that seventies show.

[A]

She also.

[B]

Oh, is she.

[A]

She's Meg gag.

[B]

It's like a whole. Have you not seen this, Bob?

[A]

It's all I've heard about. I know that white people don't. I know that white people don't use.

[B]

No, it's like, really big right now. And everyone's talking about. On Tik Tok everything. They'll be like. And white people really. She was saying white guys are saying that they don't like when they shower. Yeah, she's Russian Ruski. She's a Ruski. Like, saying that because they don't, like, wash their butts in the shower, which is crazy to me.

[A]

Well, like, in their butts.

[B]

Yes. You should wash your ass. You wash in between your ass, especially. And I know you straight, so you probably don't use baby wipes. So that's why it is probably crusty and nasty back there.

[A]

That can't be a thing.

[B]

No, it's a viral. Everyone's talking about.

[A]

It's everywhere. And our people coming forward being like, yeah, I don't wipe my butt.

[B]

Yeah, they don't. Like, they shower like, every. Like, once.

[A]

Jake Gyllenhaal, Cardi B and more. Celebs land on the great debate.

[B]

It's like a big thing right now.

[A]

And these people are saying, like, I don't wash my butt.

[B]

Or they shower like, once every four days. Or like. Or this is the thing that when they. That when they get in the shower, they let the water run down and then they showered.

[A]

That's not a thing.

[B]

That is. It's a big thing.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Everyone's talking about. That's why I thought we were doing this. It's a big thing. Everyone's talking about it right now.

[A]

That is because I was just about to talk about how I think that black people overdo it sometimes. You think I do. I do overdo it.

[B]

Like, like elaborate.

[A]

Like, I don't think. I don't think you shower every day. I don't shower every day.

[B]

I shower every day. I have to shower every day. Sometimes if I'm really sweaty, I swear, twice a day.

[A]

Growing up, I used to shower every single day. I shower. Like, I probably shower in a month. If there's 31 days in a month. I shower like 29 days out of the month. But if I have a Particularly lazy day. And I'm not.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And I'm not hooking up. I don't shower that day.

[B]

That I can see.

[A]

So here's the thing that will definitely trigger a shower for me. Working out.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Half the shower drag.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Half the shower before hooking up. Half the shower. Sometimes after hooking up, half the shower. Depending on what we did when we hook up. Right. So those are the four things that like definite showers. And then the last one is just like what smell bad.

[D]

I just have.

[B]

If I don't shower once a day, I just feel like my body feels sticky. Like you know what I think like when you. When your hands just don't feel clean, like after you have like.

[A]

Yeah, I wash my hands a lot.

[B]

Not that. But I'm saying I feel like if I don't shower in a day, I feel like that in my whole body. Like my body just doesn't feel clean. And then another thing, like, you know, in terms of cleanliness, when you ride the subway and people sit on the fucking subway train, where I literally seen people shit on the subway seats, vomit, whatever the fuck and you ride the subway seat and go sit on your bed or like your couch or something. I'm like, that is your like your nasty like subway clothes where. Where someone's feces was just at maybe two hours before they cleaned the seat that you was on it. I mean, I don't know, it's just weird to me. I cannot. Like outside clothes was a very good thing in my house. If you had outside clothes and you come in, you change your outside clothes and you put your inside clothes on. Do you have outside inside clothes?

[A]

No, we had play clothes and we had play clothes and school clothes, but we didn't have outside clothes and inside clothes.

[B]

We had outside inside.

[A]

So when you like when you, you have your school clothes, which are really nice, and then you come home and you have to put on your play clothes, which are like usually last year school clothes or a couple years before sweatpants, stuff like that, but never anything new. And that's. We're playing outside in. When you were not allowed to do

[B]

that when he went to school, did you shower in the morning or the night before?

[A]

I have always been a, a nighttime shower.

[B]

I was a nighttime shower for school. Waking up in the morning to show up.

[A]

I went to the gym. So you know, we're at Ridge and I went to the gym at 8am and I got there and I was like, ridge. Cause Ridge is like eating an hour before we come to the gym. I'm like, ridge, I haven't done anything. I woke up and then I came here. Those are literally the only things I've done. I have literally not done anything else besides wake up.

[B]

And we know how you are when you wake up a newborn baby, grab

[A]

my keys, stumble downstairs and drive to the gym. Nothing else. So, no, I'm not. I definitely do not. I mean, I have showered in the morning, clearly, but typically speaking, I shower at night. There's people in there who are like, I sweat. So I. I don't sweat at night in my sleep.

[B]

I have.

[A]

I.

[B]

Sometimes it happened like a few times like this this year. Honestly, I've never experienced it before where I would, like, wake up, Bob. Like three times, like, drenched in sweat. What the fuck is. What is wrong with me?

[A]

Have you ever sweat so hard that you thought you peed yourself? Yes, on planes. That happens to me. It's cause I'm sleeping with all my clothes on. When I don't sleep with all my clothes on, I don't sweat like that. But I woke up and I'm like. Like, my crotch is so wet. I must. And I'm like. I'm like. And it's because I was a. I was a bedwetter.

[B]

I was a bedwetter too.

[A]

Oh, it's so hard.

[B]

When did you stop? I stopped it last week.

[A]

No, I'm kidding.

[B]

I stopped to, like.

[A]

I mean, I have certainly pissed the bed as an adult one.

[B]

I think I have once, maybe twice, but not often.

[A]

I have pissed the bed as an adult for sure. But I stopped regularly pissing the bed around like 12.

[B]

Yeah, I was like 11, 12 when I was. What was my final, like every night when I was a kid.

[A]

Being a bedwetter is really embarrassing because you really can't help it.

[B]

But people swear that you can. Like my dad especially. Like, why don't you wake up and pee? It's like, nigga, I don't know.

[A]

You think I wanted to pee the bed? Yeah, I'm like, I'm not. I'm. Bitch, I'm asleep.

[B]

I don't know what to do.

[A]

But I used to sleep and walk as well.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

So I was a walking pisser. I would wake up and go pee on things.

[B]

What?

[A]

I woke up and I think.

[B]

I think it was your cake.

[A]

I. I went to. Woke up, went and peed on my. My aunt's fridge. On the fridge. I didn't. I once peed in a hookup's dresser.

[B]

A hookup, Bob.

[A]

I once peed in A hookups dresser. I was drunk, though. I peed. This is the worst one. And I was. Peed on my roommate while he was sleeping.

[B]

You almost did. Or you did?

[A]

No, no. Almost peed on him while he was sleeping.

[B]

And what was the reaction?

[A]

I was drunk. I think I vaguely remember him being like, dude, what the. What the are you doing? What the, man? And then he got up and then I just laid down in the pee. And then he went and went to sleep in my bed and I woke up. More like, why am I in so and so's bed? Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God. Do you think that just sleepwalking was triggered by your drinking? Because have you sleepwalked since you stopped drinking?

[A]

I don't think I have, no. But I used to work as a young kid too. But I have.

[B]

But maybe you're drinking.

[A]

But I've stopped. Since I stopped drinking, I have stopped sleepwalking.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think there's a correlation.

[A]

We had bedwars out there, you know,

[B]

or if your kids are bedwetters, do not make them feel bad about it. They literally, as a former bedwetting kid, you don't have control of it. You wake up and you just fucking. Just pee everywhere. He's like, you're not choosing to do it.

[A]

I still have fear about wetting the bed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would say that, like, the last time I like, wet the bed, I was on a cruise ship and I was like, oh, shit, I just fucking wet this bed on this fucking cruise ship. I need to get the sheets off the bed and I need new sheets and I really need housekeeping to be chill about it. Like, I really need that to happen.

[B]

Do you wash your hands every time you use the bathroom?

[A]

Nine. Nine times out of ten.

[B]

I think that with a lot of guys, like, I don't use soap every time, which is so nasty. I should use soap every time, but I would just, like, run the water in my hands.

[A]

You know what I really been thinking about? You should really wash your hands before you touch your dick.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's when you should be washing your hands.

[B]

Mersa.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's like a skin staph infection thing that travels through touch.

[A]

Is it like cellulitis?

[B]

Maybe. I don't know, anywhere.

[A]

So, yeah, so, yeah, I mean, you really should be washing hands. I know my dick is cleaner than my hands, right? How is your dick not cleaner than your hands?

[B]

Yeah, true. Unless you have something going on down there.

[A]

Yeah, wash your hands. But I don't. But I don't wash my hands. Before I. Before I touch my dick. And the thing that will stop me from washing my hands are every once in a while, if it's like. If it's just really cold outside, like freezing. Freezing cold.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I will not wash my hands. Not every time, but sometimes I'm like, I can't bring myself. Just put my hands in cold water and I'm cold. No.

[B]

How often does you wash your hands outside where it's cold?

[A]

Well, I used to live in Minnesota when. I used to live. When I used to work in North Dakota a lot. New York City time, it was freezing. I'm like, I'm outside and it's like, it's just so. It's so cold.

[B]

And where are you washing your hands? Outside?

[A]

No, not outside, but you wash your hands, then you go outside.

[B]

Got it, got it, got it.

[A]

Or somewhere where it's like really cold. Like you're at a bar, but everyone's outside. And I'm like, I just don't want to be out here with cold hands.

[B]

See the hygiene. So, you know.

[A]

Did you know that you're supposed to rub your hands under the dryer?

[B]

Yeah, when I rub these. Why do you rub them?

[A]

Because it makes them dry faster.

[B]

If you rub your hands.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Says who?

[A]

I saw it on the thing.

[B]

One of the TikTok.

[A]

No, the instructions on the thing. If you just do, like, do this, your hands dry faster.

[B]

This is like the Bible. There's people just putting shit.

[A]

No, I'm telling you on it. I'm telling you.

[B]

You never said.

[A]

You're like, but I've been here forever. Rub your hands. This is going to change your life.

[B]

But that's another thing. Those look so nasty to me because I saw a thing about that too. Is that, yes, it's drying your air, but it's like, also blowing particles and germs everywhere. Everything in a bathroom, a public bathroom, is fucking nasty. Okay?

[A]

So when you go to the bathroom, okay, here's my go to move, open the door with my dirty hand, put my foot in it, lean over to the sink, wash my hands while my foot is propping the door open, grab tissues, dry, jump out the door.

[B]

Okay? That's assuming every bathroom is a fucking cubby.

[A]

When they're not that. When they're not. When I don't have that option. Then I use paper towels, But I would rather do the door holdy than do the paper towel. Oh.

[B]

What I do is what I do. Everything is. Except I let the door close and I use a paper towel. I use the paper Towel. And I use that to open the door. Then I throw it out, but I

[A]

feel like it's wet. I want to do is do that before we go down. Grab it with my teeth.

[B]

Airplane bathrooms are so nasty.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Coming.

[A]

Coming yet. But they never smell bad. Isn't that weird? They never smell bad for yourself.

[B]

I was just about to say. Yesterday I went to the bathroom after someone took a shot in the hotel airplane bathroom. And you can smell it. And I had my mask on. Then I felt like it was in my mask. And then I'm trying to pee, but I want to because they left skin marks in this one. You didn't leave it.

[A]

But also, like, have you ready to. On a plane?

[B]

No. And I never would. I would rather on myself than on the plane.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I would rather myself than on. Trying to. First of all, I'm big. I'm the size of the. Unless it's like one of the ones that go up.

[A]

I called it big last podcast. You were like, are we now it's confirmed. Got it.

[B]

Well, it's like, on a regular plane, I'm as big as the stall on, like, the big ones that go. That go transatlantic. Those bathrooms are normally bigger up in first class. So that one. I feel so dainty.

[A]

Those other. There are planes where I. I'm in the bathroom, girl. Literally, like, I can't stand up. I literally can't stand up straight. I've been. I've been on planes.

[B]

I just see those, like, little sprinter

[A]

jet things when it's one on this side and two when. When there's no class. And this one seat here. Two seats.

[B]

Yes. Those. I can't.

[A]

I can't stand up on those planes. I literally can't stand straight up. Me and you and Larry. DJ2Face. Who is DJ2Face. Like six. Five.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was on this plane. Like,

[B]

was in the hygiene. So you never done this before? Because you. You don't. You don't. We talked about this before. You've never frequented a bath house or anything like that?

[A]

No.

[B]

So I went to Puerto Rico.

[A]

You frequent them?

[B]

I used to, but recently I went to. And I was saying I'm so weird about, like, German stuff about. And like, if I like, oh, my God, you see someone. That was really weird to see. Normally when I go to the bath house, you know, I'm just like. It's like, whatever. But like, outside of bathhouses, you still say nudes. It depends. Not all the time. Sometimes I do.

[A]

You're slowing down. You used to be like, yeah.

[B]

And I do Naomi, too. Naomi's like, does she not put Naomi's business out?

[A]

Naomi tweeted out. I cannot believe my news had not been leaked.

[B]

Oh, did she?

[A]

Yeah, she tweeted out, like, a while back.

[B]

So in real life, when I hook up with people, I'm like, when I see the dick before I put my mouth on it, I'm looking, I'm making sure I don't see nothing that looks crazy. But at a bathhouse bitch. I used to be. Literally, yeah, at a bathhouse bitch. It's pitch black in Puerto Rico. The bathhouse was pitch black. Bob, when I say, like, you cannot see this much in front of you. And I was like. I was like, oh, my God.

[D]

In the past, I would just be

[B]

up in here sucking dicks, taking dicks, but I cannot imagine. Who knows what these dicks have on them.

[A]

Thinking about every breath, right? Every. Don't let someone sneeze. I feel like I see this. And when someone sneezes, I feel like I can just see the. And it's just like, everything in the area.

[B]

You're also really weird about droplets. So we were out the other day. You, myself, Shangela, Jacob, the dancer guy, really weird. Okay, not weird, but. Bob, everywhere you go, you have your mask on. Everyone else's mask, but Bob is sitting

[A]

there like, well, there is a mask mandate. I know. I know. Again, I'm not saying it wrong.

[B]

I'm just saying you're normally the only one with your mask fully.

[A]

But also, everyone's always giving me shit, being like, take your mask off. I don't. I'm like, mind your business. I'd be like, mind your why don't hate mask. And you. You've seen it. Why you wear a mask? I'm like, why are you asking me why I'm wearing a mask in the middle of a go?

[B]

Well, they should be thankful to you because the mask doesn't protect you. A mask protect other people.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm just like. I don't know why y'. All. Like, what is. Like, just leave me alone. Like, I'm not.

[B]

I'm not telling.

[A]

Ask you why you're not wearing a mask. I'm just wearing. All I'm doing is wearing my mask. I'm in, like, Texas or some.

[B]

Something like you that has you. It has bothered me for so long. You hate. Hate perfumes and candles.

[A]

I hate it. I do not like it.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Jacob had a little kick, and I couldn't do so Rihanna said. That's not Rihanna. Fenty sent us Some, like, Rihanna walked it over, sent us some cologne or perfume or something.

[B]

Fenty sent you stuff?

[A]

Yeah, this. It. Us some perfume.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

This a billionaire.

[B]

I got some.

[A]

Okay. It's not a competition. I. I want you to get. I. I didn't get anything. It's probably an HBO thing. You can have it if you want.

[B]

What? It's like a. A. Like an aftershave.

[A]

It was like a perfume. It's her new scent. Oh, yes. I love. Please don't spray it. Please don't spray it.

[B]

I'm not going to lose.

[A]

I saw you.

[B]

I was not. I was. I literally.

[A]

I smell.

[B]

We literally just said, you hate it.

[A]

I'm going to be like, it's like a naturally Monet.

[B]

No, I'm saying I would never do. That would be so rude.

[A]

It is drag.

[B]

I don't feel like Rihanna.

[A]

It is. I just don't like the way I don't like it. Wearing too much cologne is offensive.

[B]

Yeah, a lot.

[D]

Just a little.

[A]

But then, like, everyone's wearing a little bit. And then there was a certain queen

[B]

who went on tour with me and you.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

we can say it.

[A]

Can we say it? We can say it. Save it. That's your friend. She's my friend too. Damn, mom, you're closer to her.

[B]

I think you'll be fine. We can all laugh about it now. But that shit was so funny.

[A]

Do you think we should say it? I think we should. Okay. So me and Monet went on a tour with Thorji Thor and Monique Hart. So Monique Hart found out this guy cologne. Todrick's weird about it. So Todrick has this one cologne. I don't know if I know the name of it. Todrick has one cologne. It's like his signature smell. And apparently everyone's like, what is the smell? He's like, I'll never tell. Well, also, some people have, like, really good nose. Who are we around? That was like, are you wearing Fenty? Maybe it wasn't you. Someone I was with.

[B]

It was me. We were together and someone said I was wearing.

[A]

Yeah, someone. Yeah. Who was that?

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

Someone walked by. Someone like, are you wearing. It was crazy. Yeah, it's like the time I called Kimchi, I had literally, Monet, I had 100 products on my face. Literally 100. And I just called Kim Chi without problem. She goes, oh, you're using my color. High impact.

[B]

Blah, blah, blah, right above your brow

[A]

through a fucking grainy FaceTime call. I was gagged.

[B]

Anyway, this hurts, motherfucker.

[A]

Now, I mean, it was just really impressive. I had a hundred. Literally, the challenge was Wear 100 products. So anyway, Monique Heart discovered this cologne. And Thorgy also hates cologne, but way more intense than me. Like, I'm like, I don't like this. Thorgy is like.

[B]

So anyway, so we shouldn't, we're all on this tiny. Like, it's like a 16 passenger, but it's really like an 8 passenger. Because all our luggage is on suitcases. Everyone. We're all trapped in this fucking bus.

[A]

In the uk.

[B]

In the uk, it's horn this thing. And then Monique is like, she's like, she's wearing, she's wearing, she is wearing the fragrance, living her life. And it's like Monique is like sitting here, like one of the one seaters. And Thorgy's here and Thorgy just. Does anyone smell that? It's just, it's just really, it's just, it's like, like a lot of fragrance. It's just really good. And then, so that's like day one and then day two, Monique is wearing her.

[A]

But also think about wearing perfume in

[B]

a small, confined space.

[A]

You know what perfume is? You wearing a jacket and you go, and then you take the jacket off. When you put it back on, there's still fragrance on the jacket, but you grab another dose of. So now you have two days of cologne on the jacket. You take it off, put it back on. The clothes are different, but there's still fragrance on the jacket. The jacket already smells like la baslabbala.

[B]

So by day three, we have realized that Monique is. So Thorgy has realized that Monique is the one wearing the perfume. So then Thorgy, instead, Monique is sitting here and Thor just in the corner, like, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Every time with a girl, she's like, like, for those you who are not watching, we're just being really overactive. And then, so y' all know Bob, Bob the bully.

[B]

So Bob now starts making memes. Like one is like a diver. No, no, the one is like a diver. One of the things really tall, high. And then he's diving into a pool. The pool says perfume. The diver is Monique and it's the guy diving. Bobby just starts making all of these memes and sending it to Torgi of

[A]

someone spraying, like spray RuPaul spraying someone in the face. Here it is. I found the memes.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Wait,

[A]

I can send them. Jacob. I, I, I can say we can do, we can do off screen. Yeah, there's that one.

[B]

And then there's also. With the pool one. The pool one was so good.

[A]

Wait, the pool one was everything.

[B]

So Bobby. So Bobby just sending these to Thorgy, and Thorgy is getting more and more irritated, and Bobby's just laughing. I'm cackling. And that shit was just so funny.

[A]

But I mean,

[B]

really good.

[A]

I mean, it was a lot of cologne. Is that. Is this invisible? We're saying. I mean, Vanjie was mad at me when I told our story.

[B]

What story?

[A]

The story about her asking me to make that. To edit her mix on the tour.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, she.

[A]

Every time. She confronted me, like, three times. Yeah, yeah. Bye.

[B]

I'm over here making my mixes, too, girl.

[A]

And I was like, benji, oh, my God, it was true. I said it was true.

[B]

Bob said, I don't know how to do nothing. I don't do nothing on tour. Bob said, I'm not funny.

[A]

And I was like, I didn't say that. All I said was, in this one particular tour, you were struggling with comedy.

[B]

What you say then, Bob? What you say then, Bob?

[A]

I really. But I think the last time I started, she didn't confront me. But now she's gonna confront me again. Cause I brought it up again. So,

[B]

wait, what.

[A]

What kind of toothbrush you use?

[B]

Oh, I have a Panasonic black electric. I've just turned this into an electric toothbrush. I used to use a manual one because I was like, these electric ones don't work. They don't do the thing. And my dentist was like, you're crazy. They do.

[A]

I use the Sonicare.

[B]

That's what I have.

[D]

Sonicare.

[B]

The black one, sleek.

[A]

I mean, I think a lot of them probably are either black or white. I think most toothbrushes are either black or white, the electric ones, but I just don't care. And I will say this. Like, my dentist was like, oh, I can tell. Like, I can tell you're using this. He recommended it. And he was like, I can fully tell that you're using Sonicare. Don't ever stop. It looks. I used to get really heavy plaque buildup down here, but plaque build up? Not just like, you can, like, move. It was, like, so hard, you couldn't even scrub it off.

[C]

Really.

[A]

You had to have, like, a tool to get it off. And that doesn't happen anymore.

[B]

Well, you know, I did know that cavities and stuff are genetic. Well, first of all, do you floss every night?

[A]

Not every night, no. But I. I. When I have the flossers, which I. Part of me is like, I don't want to use these floss because it is A lot of waste. You and I were talking about this recently, but it's just so much easier to floss. It's just like this and getting my

[B]

big ass hands in your mouth.

[A]

In my mouth versus being like, click, click, click, click, click. It's just. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was flossing a lot more frequently, but maybe I can reduce another way like you said. Maybe I can get a Soda Stream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And get something else.

[B]

And instead of using paper towels, basically just get like a cloth and have it in a cloth and just throw it in and wash every. When you do your food.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

What the did you think was gonna happen?

[A]

I just kind of forgot and I apologize, y'. All. You know Alaska. Yeah. I was just eating some ice, and then I realized I know how much you guys hate people eat on the podcast. Alaska is currently being dragged on Race Chaser for eating on the podcast.

[B]

Was she.

[A]

She's going through her early morning exchange. She's eating. And the. The. The. The. The. The friends of the Potter dragging Alaska.

[B]

But I didn't. Dental hygiene was, like, really big in my household, like, when we grew up. So, like, he falls around. I. Not every in my adult life, but definitely. Maybe every other day. But when I don't do it, I feel the next morning

[A]

when I, you know. You know, it's weird. When you floss it. Maybe I better expose myself. When you floss. The. Like, if you ate and you floss immediately, what you get from your teeth immediately smells bad. Immediately.

[B]

No, I feel like. I feel like if it's just for a day. If you do it in the moment, like, after you eat.

[A]

No, I'm like, it just smells like. It smells weird.

[B]

No. Do you know that cavities and cavities are genetic?

[A]

And that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah. I was like, how? I was like, Dr. Harrison, I'm gonna be real honest with you. Like, I have not been flossing every day, and I eat a lot of candy late at night and I go to bed, and I always don't always. If I'm drinking or whatever. I don't always being a drunk, I always remember to brush my teeth. And she's like, yeah, that's because cavities are genetic. So you're just not predisposed to having cavities, so you probably never have them. I was, like, hurt, because when I

[A]

look at, like, this is no shade, but like, before Jiggly got. Got the mug done, the grill done, it was wild.

[B]

Oh, it was a muck amuck amok.

[A]

That's more than just not brushing your teeth.

[B]

Yeah, that's genetics.

[A]

Like that can't just be. I didn't brush my teeth today. There's. There's. There's DNA at work here.

[B]

Damn dragon. Whole family. Why don't you.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? It was genetic.

[B]

Let's see your cavities.

[A]

I don't have any really have any.

[B]

Is it? Nobody's got.

[A]

I have had cavities. I have none right now. Oh, I've had my teeth worked on a lot.

[B]

You don't. They look so good.

[A]

Have as you. As you like to remind me. Seven of them are fake. But not the ones you can see. Three. Three on each side and one on the front.

[B]

And see your fake one in the front. If you. I would never. Most people, sometimes when they say it, I'm like. Before they tell me, I'm like, I can tell it's a fake tooth. Yours is not giving that at all. Gag. How you lost it again. That fight at the bar.

[A]

I've lost this tooth three times.

[B]

Right.

[A]

First time I fell off a bike. Second time I was eating cake out of aluminum foil. Third time I was chewing on a fork from Whole Foods. Oh, a metal one, a plastic one. And it came out and my two split in half. Like literally cracked down the middle.

[B]

Bleeding.

[A]

Was it bleeding? No. I was in LA and I had to fly back to New York emergency and get an emergency. Which is how I met Dr. Wilchers, who's my current dentist.

[B]

Isn't that sucks like all of our. Like, I love my dentist so much. I just rather fly back to New York.

[A]

Dr. Wilgers is everything.

[B]

You need to get to Dr. Harrison.

[D]

She's everything.

[B]

And then before I did my Invisalign, I was like, Dr. Harrison. I was gonna just. I'm gonna knock my teeth out and just get veneers. She's like. She's like, no, you're not. I was like, yes, I am.

[A]

I'll knock your teeth out. You can really.

[B]

She's like, no, you're not. She's like you. She's like, okay. This was on TikTok too. So it's this big trailer. Everyone wants these like big teeth. Everyone wants these.

[A]

The Steve Harvey's.

[B]

The Steve Harvey. Everyone wants like veneers. And then this dentist was working out. She was like, these people are crazy. Everyone doing this. At 18 years old, you have to replace your veneers about between every 10, 15 years. So by the time these people are. And they shave them down every time. So by the Time. These people are 60 years old. We can't shave the teeth down anymore, so they're just gonna have to wear dentures. She was like, everyone getting veneers now for the 18th birthday, 20th birthday, whatever. She's like, in about 40 years, they're gonna be looking real crazy.

[A]

I mean, can you confirm When I got this tooth fixed in 10th grade, they take. So I chipped my tooth. It was like broken in half. Like. Like slanted. I was the kid with a slanted, chipped tooth.

[B]

My God. Chippy.

[A]

And then.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we talked about it. You were chippy.

[A]

I was chippy. Wow. Triggered. Let's talk about. Let me recover and we'll talk after the break.

[D]

Everything I do for Ms. Colleen is rooted in love. Even when Ms. Thing is testing my patience, Bob, you seen it.

[A]

My patience, too.

[D]

I always want to do what's best for her. For example, love is letting Colleen roam

[B]

around my house with her booty with some extra excrements, trying to get on my couch and my bed.

[A]

Exherberance. What is the word?

[B]

Exumerated.

[A]

She's all exumerated. From work.

[B]

Love is opening the door to let

[D]

Colleen play on the porch a million times a day.

[B]

And I don't have one of them cat canopies.

[D]

I just let Colleen live her life.

[A]

You told me she was crawling on the rail.

[B]

She hasn't done that since.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause I got. I gave a little spanking. Love is all.

[D]

Also keeping tabs on my cat's health because nothing is more important than their health and their well being. And that's why I use Pretty Litter.

[A]

Pretty Litter is the most advanced litter I have ever seen. It changes colors to help detect early signs of potential illness, including urinary tract infections and kidney issues. Cats are notorious for hiding illnesses, and it's important to catch health issues as soon as they become possible. Got to keep little miss Kitty cat clean and healthy.

[B]

Yeah, we got to keep all the

[D]

kitty cats clean and healthy, honey, if

[B]

you know what I mean.

[D]

Litter box cleanup is easier with Pretty Litter as well. Its ultra absorbent crystals trap odor instantly and lasts up to a month.

[A]

Plus, Pretty Litter is safer for your cat and for the whole household. Many conventional litters contain irritants that can aggravate allergies and asthma. But Pretty Litter's super light crystal base minimizes mess and dust. Less dust, less fuss.

[B]

No fuss.

[A]

Zero fuss. Not even a bit of fuss.

[B]

Zero fuss to give.

[D]

And Pretty Litter arrives safely at our door in a small, lightweight bag. Shipping is free, and I never have to worry about storing bulky containers or

[B]

lugging a heavy bag through the supermarket, through the store, to my car. Girl, it's a non mother tucking factor.

[A]

Mm. Love is putting your cat's health first with pretty litter. Do what I did and make sure you switch today by visiting PrettyLitter.com and use promo code RIVALRY for 20% off your first order.

[D]

That's PrettyLitter.com promo code RIVALRY for twenty percent off PrettyLitter.com promo code WHAT BOB Rivalry. Hello, it's me, Monet X change. And today I want to talk to y' all about one of our new sponsors, Thrive Cosmetics. Listen, they're an incredible company with some

[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

Like for makeup I wear a little concealer and those little hot spots, you know. And I always wear mascara. Now I learned that little trick from RuPaul at DragCon 2019 la. No, 2018 la.

[B]

I went to her booth and I was like, ru, like what do you do, bitch?

[D]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I was chippy and blackie. I told you that. Yeah. Black and chippy separately. Never together. So the first time they fixed, they just added to the tooth. And then when they fixed it because they couldn't, they were like, we don't want to shave it down because your teeth are still growing. Second time they fix it, they shave. This is in 10th grade. They shave your tooth down till it looks like a Tic Tac, basically. And then they put the tooth over that. And I had that until I was like, 31. And then I. They shaved it again, see? And put the tooth back on it again. Yeah, But I also had to get a root canal in the tooth. Yeah, that was inside. And I was like, how did the tooth go back? It's been covered up since 10th grade. This thing has been covered since 2002. How is it. What. What could it have possibly come in contact with to need a fucking root canal?

[B]

Probably, like, little particles that go up in there. Who knows?

[A]

Apparently something. So I had to get a root canal, which I would just happen to have to get a root canal at the time. He was like, you need a root canal. And then I got the dental subjects on.

[B]

So root canal. I've never experienced it, but you see, like, the. In video, like, the drooling, and I'm like that. It sounds like.

[A]

Have you had a root canal?

[B]

Never.

[A]

I've had four or five. Does it hurt? No.

[B]

Because they numb you up.

[A]

It doesn't hurt. I. I am now, like, getting a shot in the gums is nothing to me.

[B]

I never had to get one.

[A]

I've had so many shots.

[B]

I did. I'm like, my wisdom teeth, I took them up. I was asleep.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't. You were. I've been. I've been like, awake looking the doctor in the eye while he's like, so you kind of.

[B]

Ah, no, I can't do that.

[A]

You know, it's the worst when you're in the chair and they do it and they start working and go, I felt that. I felt that. And they go, all right, you need a little more. And they numb you up. And they wait a little while and they start working on you again. But you feel like. You feel like, I mean, a little. It's not like, whoa. It's like when you feel something more than pressure.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, it's the difference between feeling like this and feeling that. Yeah. Anyway. Did you ever fake showering as a kid?

[B]

I used to be brushing my teeth, not showering.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Like, my mom would be like. Because I. It was very big. Nobody's in the household, wake up Saturday

[A]

morning, and does the maid, like, get you.

[B]

What does it make Wake up Saturday morning to go like, well, have breakfast and watch cartoons with the staff.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

And I. My mom was like, when you wake up in the morning, the first thing, you always just brush your teeth. I don't want to see before you brush it. If you. If I see your teeth are not brushed, there's a problem. So we knew this in my house, when you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth and you can live your life. But I just was like, no, I wanted to eat. They wanted the food.

[A]

I was like, girl, damn, food would be your downfall.

[B]

I wanted the food. So I would just rush brush my teeth and go do the thing.

[A]

Who brush the teeth before they eat food?

[B]

That's the time in my house.

[A]

That doesn't make sense.

[B]

Your food tastes funny if you wait long enough. No, but see, I see. Exactly. That's my logic.

[A]

You have to brush your teeth again after you eat. No, I think you should eat first and then brush your teeth.

[B]

That was not the rules in the rsl. And then so I came downstairs, sitting down, eating, put the TV on, watching it, and she goes, kevin, did you brush your teeth?

[A]

Yes, mine is.

[B]

She went to go get my toothbrush. So that motherfucker was dry as hell.

[A]

They be investigating.

[B]

Oh, look, as dry as hell.

[A]

Investigating.

[B]

She came down and she was like, is this your toothbrush? No, Kevin, this is not your toothbrush.

[A]

No.

[B]

Bitch. She takes her shoe at cop.

[A]

Terrible liar. You are so bad at lying.

[B]

And she got me so good on this side of my head. I will never.

[A]

So you started wetting your toothbrush?

[B]

I did, but I think after that, I just started brushing it. I was like, is it literally.

[A]

You had to watch.

[B]

I probably did.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But also, like, it. Brush your teeth is so quick. Like, it's literally like three minutes.

[B]

I didn't want to wait three minutes. I wanted to bake a.

[A]

So I was baking, shower, showering. Because I just, like, I went through a phase where I just did not want to shower. I wanted nothing to do with showers. I didn't want to. I just didn't want to do it. I hated the notion of showering. So I would go in there, I would, like, sit on the toilet With a seat down for 20, 30 minutes while the shower was running.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Like, I could have been showering. Yeah. While the shower was running.

[B]

What would be faster? Because you just. Yeah.

[A]

And then I would like dab water in spots to be wet. And then wherever my aunt would smell last, I would wash that one spot.

[B]

How do you know what she's going to smell last?

[A]

Gamble. It was like. It was the wrist a lot. Armpit behind the ear. But I was like, why was I trying to, like, just take the fucking shower?

[B]

It should have been so much faster. Like, the strategy and the planning and the figuring out where to do. Did she just went in the shower. Wet your whole body.

[A]

Click, click, click, click. Girl, watch one armpit. And then.

[B]

And then she.

[A]

Then I had to start doing, like, the mental, like, right? Because I would offer the wrist and she'd be like, give me the other wrist. So then I would offer her this wrist, knowing it wasn't a wash, in hopes that she would smell this one.

[B]

That's too much.

[A]

It was insanity.

[B]

I can't Bob.

[A]

It was. You know what? It was too much. You are right.

[B]

But did Justin delight in any of this with you? He's like, I'm not showering either.

[A]

No. Justin showering?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Justin was always a very. Like, he was really in a fashion, like, hip hop fashion. He was really into, like, being clean. And, like, Justin would, like, take his shoes and like, clean them with toothbrushes. Justin was like, you can't crease my shoe. My air force shoes.

[B]

Oh, God, the creasers.

[A]

Like, Justin used to walk on his heels.

[B]

I know those kids in school, bitch. I know them. So you don't do this. I had a lot of people out

[A]

in school, like, all day.

[B]

Do you know what? I can't. Some people walk in your house with their shoes. That shit drives me insane. Imagine the amount of things you step on outside.

[A]

So I am a shoes off kind of person.

[B]

I might start getting softer.

[A]

My guest, Ezra is not. So I have started adjusting to that. Cause over here, me and Jacob have slippers. And back home, you know, I always take my shoes off. But also Ezra. Ezra does hair in the apartment, so he has clients there. But he's not gonna tell his clients, take the shoes off. So he just cleans that floor a lot.

[B]

No, I can't with shoes. There's so many things that'll probably come inside your house from shoes. Who knows what. And then like, let's say you wanna lay on your floor, lie on your thing, and you're Laying in all that? No.

[A]

What do you think is the longest you've ever gone without showering?

[B]

Probably when I'm sick. No, when I'm sick, you feel so

[D]

sick on the shower.

[B]

I would maybe say, like, maybe like

[D]

two or three days.

[B]

I'm having.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I've had, like, a really lazy weekend. Like back when we were, like, working. Like, we're traveling and stuff. And you're like, you know, you come back from thing, you just want to Just don't talk to somebody. Well, no, you. You are. You always have energy. I don't know how you always have energy.

[A]

Surgeon.

[B]

You don't even drink coffee.

[A]

It's because I'm not like, alcohol and drugs make you tired.

[B]

Drugs, which.

[A]

Then if you don't. If it don't apply. You never done any drugs.

[B]

I mean, I have. Yes, I have that drug, but that's not what. I was tired before. I was drinking a little bit. Maybe smoke, like a little weed.

[A]

I wasn't like, you know, oh, marijuana certainly makes you. Marijuana is the one that makes you the most high. You know that, right?

[B]

Not the most. There are others that make.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. But it's like, of the.

[B]

The big three, what are the big three?

[A]

Molly, Candy and Cokie.

[B]

Candy.

[A]

What the is cannabis?

[B]

Oh, and Ms. K. Special K. I would say.

[A]

I would say marijuana is the one that makes you the most sleepy.

[B]

Yeah. So if you.

[A]

If you're smoking weed and drinking. Yeah.

[B]

You're gonna.

[A]

If you're popping edibles, you think you're gonna come home with energy. Bitch, you are sluggish. You're walking through mud. You know what I mean?

[B]

So I would just maybe like two or three days, probably the most you would go.

[A]

You would not shower after a gig. That's crazy.

[B]

No, like, when I would get home, like, I would, like, finish the gig.

[A]

She said you do a few days

[B]

after, like, I got home.

[A]

I have. I mean, if I go to sleep after the gig without shower, it is because I just fainted. Because here's the thing, y'. All, when you get out of drag and you wipe your face with a makeup wipe, it looks like you're not wearing makeup.

[B]

I used to wear makeup.

[A]

Bitch, you are wearing so much makeup. So you just have to shower to get it off. You have to.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

The longest I went was definitely during quarantine.

[B]

Well, yeah, bitch.

[A]

And I mean, I think my record during quarantine was nine days.

[B]

Nine.

[A]

Probably no. Solid nine days.

[D]

No.

[B]

Bob. No pee in the shower? Absolutely. Why not just at the toilet? Also, pee is very clean when it comes out. Pee is, like, sterile. If you're ever stuck in the desert, then you just pee. You can drink your pee and, like, recycle it. You can.

[A]

You cannot drink.

[B]

You can.

[A]

That's not true, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

I'm tell right now, drinking your pee will not make you sick. It is sterile. But it. It has. Has. It's not like drinking water. It has. It will not hydrate you in any.

[B]

And what I'm saying is that if you are in that situation, it will not. It will not.

[A]

It will not help you.

[B]

I was trying to do our court thing.

[A]

Oh, the drinking pee will not help you.

[B]

Just find out the laws in your state about drinking pee, and then you can do what you can for your body.

[A]

What you can do is you can clean a wound with it, piss in urine.

[B]

But you.

[A]

I just want to reiterate one more time. Do not drink your pee.

[B]

So what if they drink pee during sex?

[A]

Because you really want to be on you.

[B]

It had to be like, if I'm with my partner and they, like, really in your mouth. Not to drink it.

[A]

No, Just let it, like, fall out of your mouth. You stand there like,

[B]

no, you can pee, like, on me, babe. But, like, if you know. Because I do think that with a partner and that's something that they really want to try. What is it gonna hurt if my partner pees on me to get in the shower? Would you.

[A]

Yeah. Burn a pee in my mouth. But we need to be in the bathtub.

[B]

No, that's. That's not bad. It takes all the fun out of it.

[A]

In the bed. Yeah. You wash the sheets. Wash. Now, we've obviously clarified that I pissed the bed with no sex involved. That's an accident. It has to be in the shower.

[B]

Word.

[A]

And not in the bathroom. In the shower, specifically. Like, we can't just be by the sink.

[B]

We have to be in the tub. You go to the bathroom, it's tiled.

[A]

In the tub. These are my stipulations. You wanna piss in my mouth? In the tub?

[B]

What about. Shit.

[A]

Absolutely not.

[B]

Okay. We are partners. Like, I really wanna try this just one time. It's my boundary.

[A]

I would say we're in an open relationship, and I think you can find someone who would be more than happy to accommodate your needs.

[B]

What about blood?

[A]

No, I don't like that either.

[B]

Got it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you do blood, like, cutting me? No, but I'll cut you. You're not cutting me.

[A]

You let Someone cut you cut someone?

[B]

Isn't it one? It's me, too, but you're not cutting me.

[A]

How about poo?

[B]

No.

[A]

I mean, you already had it once.

[B]

I would. That was the most. One of the gnarliest things I've ever experienced in my eye.

[A]

Was it solid or wet when it hit you?

[B]

It was solid. It wasn't wet.

[A]

So he wasn't even sick. He did it on purpose?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, he fully did it on purpose. A dog.

[A]

I thought it was, like, a squirt. Oh, this was an accident.

[B]

Can you imagine, like, fucking diarrhea on me? That would be even worse.

[A]

I think it'd be better for him because it'd be clear that he wouldn't do it on purpose.

[B]

Why do you care about his best interest? It's about me.

[A]

I mean, I'm sorry that he had shit on your chest.

[B]

My God. It was literally, like, this big right here. It's called a Cleveland Stammering.

[A]

And then.

[B]

So it happened. And then me, I was like, oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my.

[C]

You.

[B]

Don't be dramatic.

[A]

So I'm walking like this. It doesn't fall. And then I walk into the fucking

[B]

bathroom, and then I get a Clorox wipe and I scoop it. I was so gross. It was the worst thing.

[A]

How do you. When you come, do you. When you're masturbating, do you come on your stomach? Yeah.

[B]

Or I just let it fall and I'll clean it up after.

[A]

What do you mean, fog? Be more specific. I don't. And your leg, like, if only if

[B]

I'm, like, really hot and bothered, will I, like, shoot. Otherwise, it just falls.

[A]

You know, if you're a shooter, it's because you're. You have a narrow urethra.

[B]

We talked about this before. Anyway. Oh, my God. We're telling everyone to know all our business.

[A]

Well, we know that your urethra is not narrow except when you get hot and bothered. But I just want to be clear that the width of your urethra has nothing to do with the width of your. No, no, no.

[B]

I'm just saying. We're just. We're talking about shit and pee and coming.

[A]

My stomach. I try to avoid the belly button because.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because it's harder to clean out. How is it harder?

[B]

How deep is your belly button?

[A]

I have a very deep belly button, actually.

[B]

Give me inches. Now I need some.

[A]

I can get, like. How much of your finger can you get in your belly button, bitch? Maybe this much. I can never get this entire. Can I get this entire DID in Your belly button. No, I can get maybe up to there.

[B]

That is so fucking no. Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That isn't normal.

[A]

So it's hard to clean out. So anyway, so when you come on your belly button, come on your stomach, you end up doing this thing where you're trying to walk to the bathroom,

[B]

but you don't want it to fall.

[A]

So you're walking like you're in the fucking Bob Fosse.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

In the Rich Man Strug from Sweet Charity. You never do that.

[B]

No.

[A]

You let it hit the ground. I also don't want to come on the sheets.

[B]

I don't want to talk about this.

[A]

This is too much. It's just calm.

[B]

I'm just still so traumatized about your whole finger. Finger. Belly button like that. Is that normal?

[A]

You told me about a man taking a shit on your chest and my. Me touching my belly button. Now you're grossed out.

[B]

You went this much into your belly button with your finger. I don't think that's normal.

[A]

I have a deep belly button. So does Jacob.

[B]

You know, I, I. Jacob.

[A]

Jacob has a very deep belly button. Well, this is weird. Jacob used to let me pick up his belly button, but now it's like a whole thing. He won't let me do it anymore. And I used to collect it. I used to put it in a jar. Oh, that's so sweet. But Jacob literally won't let me do it anymore. Is that true, or am I Ryan? No, that's very true. But he used to let me do it, and, like, one day he was like, I don't. I. I can't even stand it. And I was like, I used to fully always do this work. I feel that's not true. Well, one day Jacob told me that what we kind of leaned into. I think I did it one or two more times. He allowed me to. You started collecting it, and I was like, this is too much.

[B]

You were collecting it for real?

[A]

I put in a little jar.

[B]

Okay. I thought. I thought you were kidding around.

[A]

I think it's right behind you. I think he's in the top drawer here. Is it like a little. A little Mason jar in there?

[B]

No. Is it the bottom one?

[A]

No.

[B]

Why were you collecting the lids?

[A]

That is very strange. It was cute. It was very cute.

[B]

That is fucking weird, girl.

[A]

Why is that weird? Why were you.

[B]

Is lint in his belly button?

[A]

Because how much of this lint did you collect? I got, like, three before Jacob made me stop doing it.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

He didn't find it.

[A]

I got, like, Two or three before he made me stop doing it.

[B]

That's weird. Jacob, good on you.

[A]

Why? It's just belly button length.

[B]

Yeah, that's weird.

[A]

And the only reason, you know Jacob has a hairy stomach, so the, the hair would trap the belly button in his eye.

[B]

I started getting laser everywhere.

[A]

Now, I know this sounds wild to me when I see images. When I see images of people like, getting like, zapped for tattoos and laser hair, I'm like, I'll just. I'd rather shave than get, like electric.

[B]

It doesn't hurt at all. It's not electrocuted. It's a laser.

[A]

Famous last words. Famous last words. That doesn't even hurt. I'll let you see the conversation. My weird belly button.

[B]

It's not weird.

[A]

Remember?

[B]

Oh my God, I remember. Baby feet. So I was on the rage about this baby. I was like, bob, you need to do baby feet. Baby feet is everything. Baby feet.

[A]

Oh, baby feet. This gag.

[B]

It's like this like lactic acid, I think, or some type of acid that they put in these little booties. You put your feet in them for like an hour and then three or

[A]

four days put your feet in your foot in a little booty. Uh huh.

[B]

I'm really just putting right now. And then two, three or four days later, your feet just like, I mean, shedding, like, just piles of like dead skin just peeling off your feet. And they look crazy for like five days, but they're so soft, it's like new skin.

[A]

Monet's been telling me about baby feet for years. Literally for years.

[B]

And I do it every couple months and it works great for me.

[A]

Monet comes over and I said, well, my feet are. I have really rough feet, so maybe they have a lot to work with. We put them on. When I tell you. My feet were laughing at this. My feet were like, nigga, go get your friends. This does nothing to us. I didn't. My skin got harder.

[B]

That was crazy. You did not peel at all, literally.

[A]

And I shook. I was like one of. There's literally nothing. I mean, it was.

[B]

I think, I think maybe it was. We need to try again. There's no way, there's no way. It cannot work on you. That's not how that works.

[A]

So the thing is, my feet, naturally, I don't even want to, like, I'm really so kind of. My feet, my feet.

[B]

And I told you, and I told you, Bob, when we go get pedicures, they look great. And you put your little black gel nail polish on, they look great. Because I really want Bob to start wearing open toed shoes. I want Bob to start wearing open toed shoes. Giving me that fantasy. I really want that for you.

[A]

I mean, I have a few pair of open toed shoes that I've worn before, but it's like a platform. Monet wears a shoe that's not a platform. And it's literally. It just looks like Monet's foot with a strap on it. Because from the front you can't see the heel. So all you see is Monet's big ass foot. That's a strap on.

[B]

That's part of the look.

[A]

And your feet. Big as hell.

[B]

But it's still cut.

[A]

I mean, it's just not for me. I feel like inside of a pump. Your foot looks tiny.

[B]

Bob, my feet look great. I need to show now I need to show a picture. So. Bob, you are. I don't understand. Look at John Ali.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

John Ali got John Ali is so sexy.

[A]

I've always thought he was, but he was like. He's gone so sexy.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

Oh, no, it's not who. It's Simone. Teacher.

[B]

She looks so different with her new hair. She looks like. She looks like a different person.

[A]

Is it muted? Did I mute on accident?

[B]

There's no sound muted. Yeah, that's literally something about the pull up father.

[A]

That is not monetize. A big ass foot.

[B]

No, that is a woman's foot, Monet.

[A]

This foot has so many veins in it.

[B]

Women have veins in their feet too.

[A]

Okay, Monet, I'm not saying that you're. I'm not saying that women don't have veins in their feet. What I'm saying is of a. This is not a petite soft foot. This is a big strong foot that can probably knead dough. This is a who walks around.

[B]

Okay, there's a knot. Look at that. She's soft.

[A]

This picks up her kids toys with her feet. She'll be like, here, put this away.

[B]

Fly this image in. And so does you. My beautiful feet.

[A]

And fly this one in too. All right, I think we. We did it. Last question. Who do you think has better hygiene between you and me?

[C]

Me.

[A]

What do you think I do better than mine?

[B]

Cause you went nine days without showering. I would never.

[A]

During the pandemic.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but that's better.

[A]

You also go to. You've done multiple gigs without showering. That is crazy.

[B]

What? Multiple gigs I do without showering?

[A]

Just said you've got like two or

[B]

three days after I come home from the gigs. No, I'm saying like after I do like a tour in a uk, I'm back home in my apartment and I don't have work. I just. I won't shower for like two, three days. You know what I'm saying? I didn't say after each gig.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I could never get into drag without showering. That is crazy.

[A]

Roll the tapes.

[B]

The fact that you went nine days without showering. I feel like I have better hygiene than you. That is crazy.

[A]

I was also depressed. It was a pandemic. Normally go nine days out showering.

[B]

Why did Jacob laughing?

[A]

I don't know why he laughing. Why do you think I had better hygiene to do? But nine days without a shower. Yeah, but like that's typically speaking. I usually shower like I would say on average six days of a week.

[B]

I shower seven days a week. Probably. I probably. I probably shower ten times a week.

[A]

That's not.

[B]

Especially here in LA when you're like.

[A]

So you're not supposed to shower every day. That's not.

[B]

Well, like one of those showers a day will be like a shower. And let's say I go out and I do a thing and I. I'm sweaty and I. After activities, I will go on just like hop in the shower just to let the water thing and do.

[A]

You're not supposed to shower. Like your skin has ways of protecting it. It's like.

[B]

It's about funk. I don't.

[A]

It's like water washing your hair every day. You're not supposed to wash your hair every day. I don't want to be funky up like this and I don't want to be.

[B]

And if I'm going to be with somebody or hooking up, I want to make sure I'm fresh. So I would shower twice that day.

[A]

I think that is. You're not. You're not supposed to shower that often.

[B]

Says who?

[A]

It's not healthy if you go.

[B]

It's not healthy.

[A]

It's not healthy. You know how it's not healthy to wash your every day.

[B]

That's a myth. You can't wash it every day.

[A]

It's not healthy though. You will strip your hair.

[B]

I watched a whole thing about it. Not today. A couple days ago. On the ticky. Talk about how there's this whole myth of people will foresee hair. Like. That's not true.

[A]

I don't think wash every day are black people.

[B]

But that's the whole thing. It's saying that people say you're not supposed to. That's not true. This girl, she was like, well, not this girl. Personal.

[A]

I mean, it's not advisable to wash your hair every day.

[B]

It's not advisable. Doesn't mean that you guys. It's not healthy.

[A]

But I used to. So here's what happened. I remember getting teased when I went to my not showering phase. So I was watching my hair and showering every day and putting on, like, I've been wearing insane amounts of yogurt every single day. And then my hair got really dry. It turns like a gray.

[B]

But were you doing stuff to maintain it? Were you adding products? Were you doing, like, all the different things?

[A]

Yes. I would wash it, condition it, and I put Blue Magic in it.

[B]

See? But now they have. They have the natural community.

[A]

It's like, oh, okay, first of all, I was not. I'm not Talking about the 1920s, Monet, you talking about. But nowadays, bitch, it wasn't that long

[B]

ago I used to use Blue Magic.

[A]

I wasn't using Madam C.J. walker's hair stuff. I'm talking about very recently, but now I had hair recently. More recently than you. You've been bald since I met you.

[B]

No, that's not true.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

I had him when you met me at Saliva.

[A]

It was rough.

[B]

My shit was not rough. Thinking you crazy as hell, Monet.

[A]

You've been bald since I met you.

[B]

I was not. No. When I first started drunk, I had hair. As Jasper, I had hair. When I Persona drag.

[A]

Yeah, in your closet.

[B]

You sure did. I had hair on my head. Probably, like, 2014 when I, like, shaved, I started going bald. So I had hair.

[A]

I had hair, too. I had long dreadlocks.

[B]

Okay, with that one. When I met you had your little. Your little fucking cockatoos prop.

[A]

And I could have grown them all.

[B]

Yeah, you could have. Sure. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. You didn't.

[A]

I could have. I don't believe that.

[B]

Why didn't you then?

[A]

Because it's a lot to do.

[B]

Sure. Likely. Sorry, Bitch. You couldn't grow your hair in the size. Don't even back.

[A]

Why are we competing to see who's the baldest? The answer is you, bitch. And for the longest.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Yes. Jacob, when did you meet Monet and I met?

[B]

2012.

[A]

2012.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Monet was, like, fresh out of college.

[B]

Yeah, she has some hair.

[A]

And Kevin Burton teaching.

[B]

Yeah, I had hair. Thank you, Jacob.

[A]

And drop that link to Kevin Burton, teacher.

[B]

Do not put that. Yeah, I was a teacher. You jealous?

[A]

I was teacher, too.

[B]

Yeah. I was a teacher longer than you were.

[A]

Probably where were you?

[B]

Where.

[A]

Why are all these kids, like, Asian?

[B]

Oh, I was at the. I was at the PS. PS138. Hernandez DeSoto Elementary School. It's on. It was on Mulberry and Something downtown to teach.

[A]

I remember thinking myself, like, there's a picture of these kids in here. It's like a picture of Camion, my nephew. And then, like, these two random kids I took a picture of when we were. Because they look really cute. I was like, click. And I was a cute picture. They are fully adults now. That is crazy.

[B]

Where are these kids from? Where you see them?

[A]

They're. It was from when I worked for the Miss.

[B]

Oh, got it, got it.

[A]

Should I, like, hold up? Like, if this is you.

[B]

That's weird.

[A]

Is that weird?

[B]

I think that's some of those.

[A]

It's a picture I took. They're not kids. They're adults. They're full grown adults. They're not children.

[B]

You can do that as you.

[A]

Is that weird, Jacob?

[D]

Weird to me.

[A]

If this is you, reach out.

[B]

Sure. That sounds super weird.

[A]

Can you grab the picture?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What if I get reunited with these kids? With these adults? I mean, they're adults.

[B]

I do not consent to this imagery. The person holding up the pictures is Bob the Drag Queen.

[A]

It's literally just a picture of kids.

[B]

Listen, I don't fuck with white people. Kids. They're not white. Oh, I thought they were white kids.

[A]

First of all, this is on Patreon, so it's only gonna be our Patreons part two. Maybe one of those white, one of those browns. So these are the kids and they're adults now. That is so wild to me.

[B]

That's Camille.

[A]

That's Camion.

[B]

How cute little Camion is. Oh, he was very cute.

[D]

Here.

[A]

Oh, this is you.

[B]

Hit me up.

[A]

I wanna see, like, what y' all doing now.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Take a r. You know how to get rv. I love you, Monet.

[B]

Love you too.

[A]

How do you feel about them?

[D]

I love each and every one of you.

[A]

Bye, guys.

[C]

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