The One About LGBTQ+ Healthcare

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About LGBTQ+ Healthcare"

Date: March 24, 2023
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Presented by: LGBTQ Nation's Authentic Voices of Pride, sponsored by Chevrolet

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Overview

In this lively, candid, and insightful episode, Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen tackle the complexities of LGBTQ+ healthcare in the U.S., examining the unique challenges faced by queer individuals. With trademark humor and chemistry, they weave personal anecdotes, community history, and practical advice, highlighting both progress and ongoing struggles regarding access, stigma, identity-affirming care, HIV/AIDS, mental health, addiction, and resources—particularly for Black and brown queer people and those outside of urban centers.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Realities of Seeking Queer-Affirming Healthcare

• Systemic Heteronormativity
  • The healthcare system is often designed for straight, cisgender people, leaving queer individuals feeling marginalized or misunderstood.
  • Quote (Monét, 04:14): "A lot of the healthcare system is built on the assumption that patients are straight CIS... Queer community, we just, baby, we're built different."
• Navigating Insurance as Queer Adults
  • Both hosts recount losing parental insurance in their 20s and struggling to access care until later in life (05:17–06:56).
  • Health insurance as a source of adult pride, but also a barrier for years.

2. Finding Queer-Affirming Providers

• Therapist Access and Identity
  • Bob discusses lucking out with a referral to a Black, queer-affirming therapist (03:27).
  • The importance of not needing to repeatedly explain pronouns, gender, or non-binary experiences.
• Peer Recommendation and Community Clinics
  • Both hosts highlight the value of recommendations, queer clinics (e.g., Gay Men’s Health Crisis), and affirming spaces for care, especially for testing or sexual healthcare (11:56–12:55).
• Stigma in Medical Settings
  • Monét describes the discomfort and misunderstandings when seeking STI testing from non-queer providers, and the tendency for some to view queer sexual health needs as complicated or confusing (10:54–11:56).

3. Historical Context & Community Response: HIV/AIDS

• Legacy of the AIDS Crisis
  • Founding of Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC, 1982) and ACT UP (1987) discussed as grassroots responses to government neglect (15:11–17:53).
  • Quote (Bob, 15:56): "Act UP did a lot of wild activism... Like, they took the ashes of loved ones lost to AIDS and dumped them on the White House lawn."
• Personal & Generational Trauma
  • Monét shares Lady Bunny’s stories of losing nightlife friends weekly during the crisis (18:03–19:31).
  • Bob recalls his Uncle Steve, a long-term HIV survivor, and the losses witnessed within the Black Southern queer community (20:46–21:19).
• Community Fundraisers and Support
  • Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, Broadway Bears, and similar events arose to fundraise and build community support (21:42–22:34).

4. Disproportionate Impact on Black & Brown Queer People

• Structural Barriers and Stigma
  • Black and Hispanic queer populations often experience greater family rejection, homelessness, and limited access to culturally competent care.
  • Education, outreach, and specific organizations ("Revolution in Color," "A Clinic for Us," "Black AIDS Institute") are highlighted as lifelines in both NYC and LA (25:43–28:17).
  • Quote (Monét, 25:43): "Especially in that time period...not only does [HIV/AIDS] affect black and brown people, it does affect us disproportionately, because we can't go home, because we can't get healthcare."

5. Mental Health, Sobriety, and Community

• Need for Queer-Affirming Mental Health Support
  • Bob opens up about starting therapy in his 30s and the transformative power of queer-affirming mental health care (38:06–39:23).
  • Stigma in Black communities around therapy addressed—importance of destigmatization and using resources like The Trevor Project and local queer centers (39:04–39:23).
• Community Sober Spaces
  • Bob describes the rich queer sober scene in NYC, groups like Living Sober, and the value of non-alcoholic social spaces, including sober drag competitions (33:42–35:55).
  • Humor: Discussing whether they could run a sober bar and mocked the “mocktail” scene (44:27–46:38).

6. Access Outside Big Cities

• Online Connection as Lifeline
  • For LGBTQ+ people in rural areas, the Internet—social media, Facebook groups, Reddit—is presented as vital to finding affirming spaces and support (49:20–51:12, 50:33).
  • Bob: "Queer people pop up everywhere...all around the world. In every nook and cranny… most queer people are made by straight people, oddly enough" (49:20–50:33).
• The Importance of Grassroots & National Resources
  • Even small towns often have at least a shared LGBTQ+ center or mutual aid presence.
  • Encouragement to Google local resources—many more exist than one might expect (27:59–28:17).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Queer Healthcare Frustrations
  "Trying to explain to people who are not queer at the office what you need and why you need it, they just look at you like you are a freaking Rubik's Cube."
  — Monét, 10:54

• On ACT UP’s Radical Activism
  "They took their ashes to the White House and dumped them on the lawn. There was a lot of people like crying...it was a very emotional...wild activism."
  — Bob, 16:30

• Generational Loss
  "In the course of her gigs in one week...people would just not come to work...by the next week they would be gone...[from AIDS]. I cannot fathom that reality."
  — Monét, 18:03

• Historical Reference: Rent and Angels in America
  "'AZT break.' Look, we're still gay. This is very gay millennial."
  — Bob, 15:56

• Mental Health and Black Queer Experience
  "I cannot recommend—especially black people—we need to be going to therapy...We're just kind of taught that we just don't.”
  — Bob, 38:06

• Humor and Friendship
  They regularly roast each other about age, fashion, and baldness (31:36–48:16), but underlying all is mutual support.

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Important Timestamps

• Introduction to LGBTQ+ Healthcare Topic: 01:02–02:43
• Personal Experiences with Healthcare Access: 03:04–08:03
• HIV/AIDS History and Community Response: 15:11–22:34
• Broadway Cares & Fundraisers: 21:42–23:04
• Mental Health, Therapy, and Sobriety: 32:33–41:43
• Finding Resources in Big & Small Cities: 27:59–29:36; 49:20–51:12
• The Role of Social Media in Building Queer Community: 50:33–52:47

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Recommendations & Resources Mentioned

• Queer-Affirming Spaces in NYC:

  • Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC)
  • Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS
  • Community clinics and events

• Black & Brown Community Resources:

  • Black AIDS Institute (Los Angeles)
  • Revolution in Color
  • "A Clinic for Us"
  • Black Treatment Advocates Network

• Mental Health:

  • The Trevor Project (for crisis and suicide prevention, especially LGBTQ youth)
  • Weill Cornell Medicine Wellness Clinic (NYC)
  • Local queer centers and group therapy

• Sober Queer Community:

  • Living Sober (NYC)
  • Sober drag events and community

• Broadening Access:

  • Utilize the Internet for finding both physical and virtual support groups
  • Facebook, Reddit, and Instagram for rural and small-town connection

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Tone & Language

True to Sibling Rivalry’s style, the conversation is a blend of heartfelt testimony, sharp cultural critique, historic storytelling, and comedy. The banter is relentlessly witty with affectionate reads, even when topics are serious or vulnerable.

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Closing Thoughts

Monét and Bob affirm the importance of continued conversation, education, and advocacy for LGBTQ+ healthcare—especially around HIV/AIDS, mental health, and culturally competent, affirming care. They encourage listeners to seek out local resources, build community, and lessen isolation through online and in-person networks, no matter where they live. Their parting words reiterate the significance of ongoing activism, personal empowerment, and queer joy.

“The more we talk about it, the more we break the stigma. And there are more resources for our community than you might think.”
— Sibling Rivalry, 59:01

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This was a special episode as part of LGBTQ Nation’s Authentic Voices of Pride presented by Chevrolet, aimed at fostering needed conversations around major LGBTQ+ issues.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

Hey, y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

I'm on Xchange and my name is

[B]

Bob the Drag Queen.

[C]

And today, sipping rivalry is bringing y' all a very, very, very special episode, brought to you by LGBTQ Nation's Authentic Voices of Pride, presented by Chevrolet.

[B]

Their mission is to start conversations about the most significant issues in the LGBTQ community, like healthcare, access, starting a family, youth, homelessness, living in rural areas. It's issues with aging, justice, reform, and much more. And we are very excited to talk to you all today.

[C]

Bob is right, Queen.

[B]

I'll start.

[C]

No, I'll start.

[B]

You're always trying to get the first word in, and I'm not.

[C]

That's not true. You are trying to get the first word. You're always going to get the first word.

[B]

If we go back, listen, every podcast starts with you either singing a song, bebop. And I'll just be like, so I'm starting today.

[C]

We'll start.

[B]

So, hello, everyone. How are you all? I'm really excited to say we have a really, really special episode to bring to you all today, and it's brought to you by LGBTQ Nation's Authentic Voices of Pride, presented by Chevrolet. And the mission is to start conversations about the most significant issues in the LGBTQ community, like healthcare, access, starting a family, youth, homelessness, living in rural towns, issues with aging, justice, reform, and, you know, stuff like that. And I love it.

[C]

It is very funny to hear you say lgbt, lgbtq.

[B]

Why is that so funny? You think queer people are funny? You think queer people are joke? No.

[C]

Queer people. You just. You're the funny one.

[B]

You think queer people are a joke.

[C]

That's a compliment. You're not funny, actually. You're not funny.

[B]

You think queer. Well, you're in the minority on that one. So you think queer people's existence is like some just big he he ha

[C]

ha ha to you, not a hehe ha ha ha. You have so much energy today. This is so unlike you. So here's my question for you. What has your experience like, been like being a queer person, trying to get some healthcare? Because it has been a very sometimes triggering and frustrating experience for me personally.

[B]

Well, you know, I got really lucky because I actually had a friend recommend me their therapist and then I had a call with him and then he did inform me that he was not allowed to therapize me because of this, like laws like, you know, therapists. And I'm probably going to misquote this, but from what I understand, like therapist in New York cannot give therapy to people who live in LA for like some legal reason. So anyway, but he was this really fierce black queer guy and he recommended me to a very fierce black queer therapist who's queer affirming. And like, I don't. I didn't have to explain pronouns or, or explain like trans people or non binary identities. They just knew it, it was really. I've had it easy. But I realize that everyone does not have that same luxury.

[C]

Well, because the tea is a lot of the healthcare system is built on the assumption that patients are straight CIS conform to traditional family settings and social situations. You know, and the queer community, we just, baby, we're built different, as the kids say on TikTok. You know what I mean? Queer community, we have lots of challenges in a lot of those things that I mentioned before. And when it comes to medical care, like we want to talk about our bodies, our experiences and not feel judged or not feel like the person's looking at, looking at you like you got 10 heads and be like, girl, imagine

[B]

me trying to go to therapy. I am polyamorous, I am pansexual, and I'm a lot more attractive than the average person. So it was really. Why'd you laugh when I said the last part? Why'd you. Why was that? What was that chuckle? What was that chuckle? What was that? What was that?

[C]

Maybe the average person in Columbus, honey, in New York, we're all a ten we're dying pieces here. Here, baby.

[B]

Let's move on.

[C]

Today. So today's episode, Bob, we're going to talk about healthcare as a queer person. How was your experience as getting healthcare as a queer person?

[B]

Been girl. I haven't. I didn't have health insurance until same. Like, like,

[C]

like after I age, out of my mom's insurance. Yeah, like, after I age, out of my mom's insurance. Like, as. So after 25, I didn't have health insurance. But from 25 until 31.

[B]

Yeah, I. I mean, I, I. Yeah, I got a Hormone insurance at 25. I feel like Alaska at 25 and. Oh, my God, Monet, you look amazing today. I love their. Your shirt. What does it say, baby? I'm a thick icon. Love that. That's pretty.

[C]

Do you want me pitching one of my shirts?

[B]

I'm good. I do a pretty good Alaska, though. I'm really. They're available.

[C]

Oh, you got to talk Alaska.

[B]

If I wanted a shirt, I could get one. They're very cheap, so I could afford one if I wanted one. And I'm talking about the quality, not the price.

[C]

Is that. Is that the energy you want to bring today? Is that the energy you want today? Because I can go there with you, mama. I can go toe to toe.

[B]

Oh, I can go further. I can go further. But, yeah, I. Yeah, I got off on most insure 25 as well, and then I got reinsured and in my 30s, and I am now 37 years old. 36. I'm now 36 years old.

[C]

She's aging herself up. You know, Bob, it's okay. You can be 37.

[B]

Ain't no shame in your game, baby. You're 37. Hopefully, I will. Hopefully, I will be 37 at some point. Let's be fingers crossed I'll make it.

[C]

Let's be shocked if you make it to 38. We'll all be surprised.

[B]

Why? What are you saying? You got a hit out on me

[C]

because you have health insurance, girls?

[B]

Well, I do have. I am now.

[C]

Oh, you have it now?

[B]

Yes, I am. Yes, I have. Can we say who we have? Do you feel comfortable saying who covers you?

[C]

I can see. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you're secret about random stuff. Monet will be like, I don't want anyone to know what toenail polish I use. I don't want anyone to know. Like, my toenail polish is like. It's a sacred thing to me, my

[C]

toenail polish, Bob, I literally said on the thing. You came into the camera, you're like, anything different? And I was like, did you get some work done?

[B]

You're like, nay. How dare you say that? I did not. You said, what's up with your face? What you got on your face? Your face is weird. You did Something to your face. That's what you said.

[C]

Anyway, when I got health insurance, like, you could not tell me. Like, I felt like I put on my big boy pants. I thought. I thought I had an amex black card. I walk into the nurse's office, I was like, yeah, and I was seeing the doctor.

[B]

Now she was like, you and the 13 year old girl behind you. Everyone here. But it does give you a sense of pride because back. Yeah, back in the day when you were filling it out and they'd be like, in your insurance, you'd be like, I don't have any.

[C]

I'm so sorry again.

[B]

What's up? I don't have any. I'm not carrying. And then. Oh, so you're paying out of pocket. All right, well, here's the band aid. That'll be $18,000. But, yeah, no, I definitely do. I used to stay at City MD. Stayed at CityMD. In the city.

[C]

Why, Bob?

[B]

Okay, first of all, I see what you're trying to insinuate, and it was usually because I found this out recently, which we've discussed in the podcast already. I would always get these intense earaches. I mean, intense ear aches. And I was like, why does my ear hurt so much? And apparently I produce more earwax than most people. And apparently people with. Apparently people with. So when you get a lot of earwax, your ear starts hurting. Like, it really, like it swells and your ear canal starts to hurt. And apparently this is not my claim, but according to my ent. Who's your ent? Because I recommended you. You're welcome. You want to beat me so bad.

[C]

First of all, you did not. Bianca recommended me to this ent.

[B]

Everywhere I go, you go.

[C]

Bianca Del Rio recommended me to this ent.

[B]

What year did you move back to New York City?

[C]

Did I move back to New York City? I have never moved back to New York City.

[B]

No, you were living in New Jersey. You were living in New Jersey.

[C]

I went to college in New Jersey.

[B]

Did you live where you. Did you go to sleep there?

[C]

My home was still in Brooklyn, New York. Did you. First of all, I don't snore. If you ask Andy, I am a very. I'm a very, like, deep footage. I sleep. This is how I sleep.

[B]

Well, just so you all know, I. Okay, first of all, Monet drools when she's wide awake. So you know I do not drool.

[C]

I'm not a drooler.

[B]

You know that if you Monat wakes up in a puddle.

[C]

Honey, I did Say that one time back when I used to go to school in New York City and I would be, and I would be on the train. Cause you see people falling asleep on the train, right? I would be on this train, Bob. I would wake up and when I

[B]

tell you I would have a bib

[C]

of drool on my jacket, on my T shirt, I would wake up. So, and then, you know, it's like a packed rush hour train.

[B]

You wake up like, look at me, completely unshocked. I'm like, yeah, that scans, that scams. Anyway, back to what we were, what we were saying. I was talking about insurance. Oh, earache. So my ear, my ear would swell and I was always sitting, trying to figure out why my ear was hurting. And I just got some wax removed from my ears recently and it cost like, like 300, 400 bucks. Every time I wanted to get ear taken, wax taken out of my ear. It was really wild. And have you, how have your experiences been in terms of going to the doctor's office pre insured and now insured?

[C]

Well, you know, funny you say that because, you know, because I didn't have insurance, I wasn't able to like, you know, choose like choose my doctor. I was just going to whatever was available at the urgent care at the cdmd, whatever it is. And you know, oftentimes like they're. I mean, to my knowledge, anyone at the office was not making me feel particularly safe as a queer person because I will go to get like STD testing and you know, and you know, stuff like that. And you know, I may have had some things and trying to explain to someone who is not a queer person that, hey, I slept with this partner. And I know that they had this like, I guess straight people just don't get STDs or they don't get them as frequently as I did. So trying to explain to people who are not queer at the office what you need and why you need it. They just look at you like you are a freaking Rubik's Cube. Like, they're like, what are you talking about? So I would always have like weird interactions trying to explain what I needed because I am a gay man. And it seemed that there was a lot of straight people working or assisting or taking care of me.

[B]

Well, yeah, I think that. Okay, so I started going to get testing. Instead of going to City md, I would just go to some of the queer places like the Gay Men's Health Crisis, which is, I mean, it's really interesting to be able to walk into a place where everyone is not. I don't know that everyone. I don't know that everyone at the Gay Men's Health Crisis is queer. I don't know that. But I do know that they have a general understanding of what it means to be queer. And the questions don't seem as intrusive or embarrassing. Something about being able to share, like, have another queer person in that space with you. When you answer these questions, it feels a lot less. I don't know, something about like just a. A CIS straight doctor being like, do you have sex with men? And I'm like, my. Wow, we are really diving into my personal life here, aren't we, buddy?

[C]

Well, you know, I mean, I mean, the tea is that, you know, queer people face more, you know, more trauma or more turmoil in the area. And according to the apa, the American Psychiatric Association, LGBT research. Yes. LGBT adults.

[B]

Monet must have hired a new intern. Wow. According to the apa, she says yes, honey.

[C]

Well, you know, Bob, I did graduate from college. I'm very read up and very knowledgeable on a lot of things.

[B]

Ooh, I can't wait to see how this. Can't wait to see how this music degree pays off in this conversation about healthcare.

[C]

According to the apa, LGBT adults and youth are twice as likely to experience depression and anxiety as addiction rates soar. Transgender individuals face battles across much of the country for life saving treatment. And seniors still face discrimination in the end of life care. And you know, Bob, since you are approaching your end of life, this is really pertinent to you.

[B]

Do you have plans? I'm sorry, I think you have a hit on me. I'm sorry. Also, can I tell you something too, Monet? Randomly, the other day. Randomly? Monet and Jacob were both randomly. I was like, in my kitchen or on the phone, I can't remember where it was. They were both like, do you have a will? And Monet's like, no, not a will. You need a.

[C]

A trust.

[B]

A trust. And these two are both being like, well, Bob, when you die, like, like they're in cahoots, making eyes at each other. Do you have a will? I not answer. I'm not telling you to, that's for sure.

[C]

First of all, you're not on my will and I'm not trying to be on yours. I have nothing to gain from you, baby. Jacob was the one back there trying to sharpening the butter knives. And over there.

[B]

Okay, first of all, I don't want to inherit any of your ill fitting dresses at all. What am I gonna do with a bunch of dresses that don't even fit your ass, let alone mine. Honey, girl, we are in New York.

[C]

Do you hear the symphony of sounds outside? Sirens, fire hydrants? I don't hear. This is.

[B]

Oh, no, I hear that. Nevermind. I hear that. Welcome. Welcome to New York. Welcome back. Welcome back to the city.

[C]

Honey, we've been waiting for you.

[B]

When we're both in New York City. I'm in Hell's Kitchen. Monet's in Chelsea.

[C]

I'm in Flatiron. Honey, I'm in my palatial loft, the

[B]

one that you own. Is this one of your lofts you own?

[C]

It is.

[B]

Oh, nice. I guess we're just gonna spread a lot of fake news online today. So the Gay Men's Health Crisis, and I did my research too, was founded in 1982, and this was in part a big response to the government's failure to respond to HIV and AIDS. Act up, which was 1987, which is a little less active. ACT UP is still around, but not as active as they used to be, was really, like, responding to some because, you know, so I know about AZT because of. Can I tell you how I know about azt?

[C]

Oh, my God. Tell me and I'll tell you mine.

[B]

Rent. Oh, my God, me too.

[C]

AZT break.

[B]

AZT break. So I look, we're still gay.

[C]

We are literally.

[B]

This is very gay millennial. It's very gay millennial. Specifically, Gen Z's are like, what's the. What's the rent like?

[C]

I don't pay rent. What are you talking about? It's not giving free.

[B]

But we. But we, because we are gay millennials, we grew up loving rent. And I remember the first time I heard of the term azt. AZT was just like, was this medicine that could really heighten your quality of life. If you were living with HIV and AIDS, specifically HIV in the 90s. And. And it was like. It was. The medicine was just not getting out. It's a big part. It's also a big part of the play Angels in America. And the medicine in the 80s and 90s was just not getting out, especially in America. And because a lot of the politicians didn't want to discuss. They didn't even want to say the word HIV or the word AIDS on tv. And, you know, ACT up used to do some wild stuff. Like, you know, they did this. One of their innovations was they took all these people. This is like, really, really sad, obviously. But a lot of the people whose loved ones, partners, brothers, sisters, fathers, died of you know, mothers died of HIV and AIDS related complications. They would. They took their ashes to the White House and dumped them. Dumped them on the lawn of the White House. And it was really insane. There was a lot of people like crying and just like, like obviously it's a very emotional. I can't even imagine how emotional that must be. And. But Act UP did a lot of stuff like this, a lot of really wild activism. And the Gay Men's health crisis was a little more not as radical as ACT up. I mean, it's right there in the name. I mean, act up, it's like they're like, we're going to get wild up in here.

[C]

Well, you know, Bunny, I have another podcast which that's, you know, very nice and sweet and we talk to each other very kindly. It's called Ebony and Irony with Lady Bunny.

[B]

Me too. And I have one called Town hall with Peppermint where we are lovely to

[C]

each other, lovely despite all your efforts. But with Lady Bunny and Bunny, we often talk about this because you know, on that podcast we have different people, like Jane county, like older queens who lived through this stuff. And Bunny was telling me like back in the day, like she would like, like, you know how you would go to our gigs or we would go to, you have your Barracuda Monday, you go to industry on Tuesday, the help on Wednesday, whatever it is. She was like. But in like the course of her gigs in one week, like she by each gig, like each night, like people would just not come to work and you could even. And you chucked up to their sick. But like by the next week they will be gone. She was like a lot of the bartenders, the bar bags, the DJs, like really like just disappearing because they were. Because all her friends were dying from this disease. And I can't, I can't fathom, I cannot fathom that reality. Like going to my gigs every week and you know, you know, Chris Dunbar is gone this week or Cole is gone pixie like that. To me that sounds. Living through that is such a traumatic thing. And that is a, that, that's something that a lot of queer people are older. You know, people like Jackie B, like Bunny, like Kevin Aviance, like those are the people who experience that. And that just sounds so traumatic. And only something that other queer people, gay people can, can ident. But because of this stuff was happening. In nightlife you have things like fundraisers like Broadway Bears, Broadway Cares, Equity Fights, aids that came into the picture and started to raise money.

[B]

Did someone pass away Suddenly. And you were like, oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah, an aunt. I had an aunt that passed away suddenly when I was like, about over a decade ago from cancer, but it happened in, like, six months.

[B]

Yeah, an old friend of mine passed away two nights ago, like, one of my first drag friends. I got. I got the call yesterday when I was actually. As I was pulling into New York City. So, you know, I want to send a lot of love to Dustin Pochet or as. Or some of your drags. Just know you, Dusty Pouchet, really, really phenomenal. A talented drag queen, amazing costume designer, brilliant artist. Like a. Like a sculptor.

[C]

Just in Atlanta.

[B]

No, here in New York. Here in New York City. But then she moved back to Kansas before. Before. Way before the pandemic. Way before the pandemic. But I was just thinking, you know, I got the news yesterday when I. When I. When I. When I landed in New York City on the way to my hotel, and I was just like, you know, I can't imagine getting multiple of those calls a day. So I just wanted to send some love to Dusty Pouchet, who was a real. A real, true, true artist and just brilliant. Just brilliant, brilliant drag queen.

[A]

And.

[B]

And it. And it does. You know, my. My. My. My uncle is queer. My. My. My Uncle Steve. Everyone knows Uncle Steve. He got money. That's my line from Drag Race. Uncle Steve, you know, has been living with HIV for.

[C]

Wait, you said it on Drag Race.

[B]

I said this ad was paid for by my Uncle Steve. He got money. You watch the show, Tamar? Do you watch the show?

[C]

It was a long time ago, my baby. It was a long time ago. Your season.

[B]

Anyway. Yeah, established, honey. But my Uncle Steve has been. Has been, you know, living with. With HIV and AIDS for a. Woof, I think over 25 years now. Wow. And. And. And he's always going on about how, you know, a lot of his friends. And this was in Atlanta, so not. Not New York City, but in Atlanta. He was always going on about how. How many people just did not make it through, you know, the crisis. But I do love that. Like, have you done any of the Broadway Bears or Broadway Cares or anything?

[C]

I mean, at me and Pixie's show, at least one of our.

[B]

Continue.

[C]

Pixie. We would. At least one of the nights we would, like, donate our tips or like a portion of our tips all to, you know. Cause we would make money at the help, right? And we would donate our tips to Broadway carers because. So if you guys don't know, especially for a lot of Queens and, you know, Cause a lot of, like, gay boys and Broadway folks would come to our shows and, like, they would. They walk around the gay bars with these buckets often. Like a. Not often, but sometimes in a very scandalous outfit. Cause the Broadway Bears. I mean, the Broadway Care Show, Broadway Bears, Broadway Cares is so high energy. It's all about stripping and, like, reveals and, like, revealing down to nothing, you know?

[B]

So wait, just so to be clear, Broadway Cares came first, and then Broadway

[C]

Bears made the show.

[B]

Made the show. Which is the. The. The. Which is all the money goes towards, you know, helping with. Well, I think it is more than It's. It's now more. It started off as just HIV and aids, but now it's like general health care also. Helping people with. Helping people with. It does more. It does a lot more than just HIV and AIDS these days. But. But yeah, Broadway. Broadway Bears. Broadway Cares does a lot of amazing work. They were doing Covid Relief. They're doing, like, a lot of stuff.

[C]

Do you know? Do you know? I want to see. I want to see. I want to see. At the next Broadway Bears, they take that, the big song in a strange loop when it becomes the church, and

[B]

I think that's wild.

[C]

Aids is God's Punishment.

[B]

Yeah. The song's called Aids is God's Punishment. Yeah.

[C]

I wanted to. I want to see them take that song and make that into a Broadway barrier. I don't know how you make that. Take that and make it this, like, radio reveal.

[B]

So I want to give you all a spoiler alert in case.

[C]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

And tend to see Strange Loop on tour or something. I don't know if it's. I don't think it's still on Broadway anymore, is it? I think it's closed. Yes, it's closed. But they're probably going to go on tour soon or if your school's doing it. But at the end, a school.

[C]

You think a school could do Broadway Be.

[B]

I mean, I mean, schools do angels in America.

[C]

This is true. This true. And they, like, they have, like, school. Yeah.

[B]

I don't mean a middle school. I mean a college.

[C]

Okay, well, Bob, you said school. Girl. I'm from New York City in New York City. In ninth grade, we did, like, we did rent in School.

[B]

Girl. At my school, we had to give permission to do Lil Abner. Okay. In case your college or a local regional or a regional theater decides to do at the end. So it's a play about a black queer person writing a play about a black queer person writing a play about a black Queer person. And toward the end, it's about his struggle with his family. And in the song, periodically they go on and on about how his mother would call him and like, constantly remind him that he could get aids, that he could die. And then, you know, he's hearing the verbiage, AIDS is God's punishment, specifically to gay people, to queer people. And they turn into this big raucous number toward the end of the show. Again, I gave you a spoiler alert. So if you, if you're still here, it's because you. You wanted it to hear it. But yeah, it was a really wild in your face shows. Girl shows like that shows like Angels in America, which is just, you know, seven hours of in your face about, you know, HIV and AIDS written. Written in the height of it, by the way, written and performed in the, in the. In the height of the HIV and AIDS epidemic. So I can't even imagine how impactful that must have been. You know, Larry Kramer had a huge successful show, so there's a theater, has really been doing his part to. To release the stigma and shame centered around what. What. What it must be like to live

[C]

with HIV and aids, especially in, you know, for black and brown communities.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Because black and Hispanic populations, we. Let me speak my experience growing up as a black person and what that looked like to me. Like in high school and stuff. I would go to a lot of Kiki Fungus and stuff at the Gay Men's Hill Crisis over there on 23rd Street. And they talked a lot about, you know, educating people and young black and brown people about AIDS specifically in our community, because a lot of us don't have families or our families kick us out or we can't go back home. You look at movies like Paris is Burning where a lot of these kids, they would be like 13:12 down at the peers down at Christopher street because they have been excommunicated from the communities, from their families, because they're queer. And you hear them say, because, you know, my mom said, you gonna get AIDS so you can't come home. So I think there's a lot of, especially in that time period to educate people about what. That it not only affects black and brown people, it does affect us disproportionately because we can't go home, because we can't get health care. And I think that because of things like Revolution in Color and a clinic for us and a community mobilized college, Black treatment advocates network, all these places are educating and also helping saving black and brown people who are affected More by the disease.

[B]

And I know y'.

[C]

All.

[B]

I know. I want to be clear that I know Monet and I are talking a lot about New York City. That's probably because, you know, I lived in New York City for 12. I actually lived in New York City longer than any city I've ever lived in, actually. And. But there's stuff. There's stuff. There is stuff around the world. And I do. I will acknowledge that it tends to skew toward larger cities. So if you go to New York City or LA or Chicago, Atlanta, you know, LA has the Black AIDS Institute, which is, you know, it's about awareness and prevention and, you know, mobilization for people who are living with HIV and aids. They have a lot of remarkable resources over at the Black AIDS Institute in Los Angeles, especially if you're, you know, black, Latinx, queer person living in the. Living in near LA County. They have, like, a clinic for us which offers, like, respectful and culturally appropriate health services to, like, you know, black and brown queer people and other underserved communities as well. Revolution in Color, which is a social support system and programs for, like, black and queer communities in Los Angeles. So there are programs that I really. I cannot recommend enough that you all go and Google what resources may be available in your area. Cause you might be shocked. You might be shocked.

[C]

Yeah. Have you ever remember when you and I went to the latex ball thrown by gmhc, which was very cute. And even there, like, they. In the craziness of the latex ball, the biggest ball that happens, they are, like, handing out condoms, and they are, like, you see, see active, active tools and vehicles they have to keep to educate people about spreading disease and how you can protect yourself and protect others, which I love. Cause as we said, we talked about it on podcast before we were there for, like, nine hours. There are people running in Wednesday, Addams Wigs, Pugsley, Morticia, all these crazy things, but they're still doing their work to keep people safe and to keep people informed.

[B]

Well, I mean, so, you know, coming out of HIV positive is still very impactful in this day and age. You know, on Giant, I came out as HIV positive. On the season one of RuPaul's Drag Race, like, 15, 16 years ago, you know, Trinity Cabonet on season six, I feel like RuPaul Seattle, Billy Porter came out as HIV positive. And. And there's a great video of Billy Porter talking about that on LGBTQ Nation that you all should go check out.

[C]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, honey. Yeah, we should try to get Billy As a guest on the podcast. Do you think we can get Billy on here?

[B]

Gotta let these children know what time it is.

[C]

I used to see Billy all the time.

[B]

Yeah. And he started. He started avoiding you. Do you notice that?

[C]

On fire.

[B]

You notice you never see him anymore

[C]

because he's avoiding Billy and his husband. They would be out on fire.

[B]

They would see outside.

[C]

They leave you alone. They used to come to. What was that show I used to do on Friday night? Girlesque. They used to come to Girlesque on Friday nights and watch the show. Billie would. And maybe I'm just. I'm misremembering it. I feel like Billie would always be in, like, a full white outfit. No matter what night it was, I would always. I was like, how.

[B]

How do people.

[C]

Do you ever look at someone and be like, how do you have this many white clothes? I just. I don't have any white clothes. Not in drag. That's more like a white T shirt.

[B]

I own a white suit. I have one white suit.

[C]

Out of drag.

[B]

Out of drag, yes. Like a suit.

[C]

For what?

[B]

For wearing on my body, Monet. For different.

[C]

When did you wear it? When did you wear it?

[B]

I wore one to my brother's wedding, and I was gonna wear one to the VMAs, but I chose to wear something else instead.

[C]

You wore a white suit to your brother's wedding?

[B]

Yes, I did. Why?

[C]

Girl, were you the bride? What do you mean? You wore a white suit to your wedding's birthday. What?

[B]

I mean when I said I wore a white suit to my brother's wedding. What do you want from me?

[C]

Hey, you never hear. You don't wear white to the wedding. You're trying to upstage the bride. It's not about you. It's about Shalaina.

[B]

It's typically a rural people who dress in a very feminine form. Her name was not Shirlana.

[C]

I said Shelayna.

[B]

Her name is also not Shelayna.

[C]

What's her name?

[B]

The mother of my niece, Teshira.

[C]

It's Trelayna. Teshira.

[B]

Trelayna's my cousin. Teshira is my niece's mother.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And my brother's current wife is Lindsey. But when he got married to Teshira, I wore a white suit because that's what my brother picked. All the groomsmen were wearing white suits.

[C]

Y' all are. Y' all are country. Y' all are so country.

[B]

You just call my family. You said I call your family name? Yeah, Monet. Were country. I am from da South. I keep Telling you, I keep telling you, I am from the South. I am from Georgia, Alabama, unt's Mississippi. I am as country as they come.

[C]

Vav, you won't let us forget it.

[B]

We know.

[C]

We know you're from every. We know you from every nation in the South.

[B]

And you mentioned being raised in Brooklyn despite living in St. Lucia for 18 years. But somehow you were raised in Brooklyn and lived in Atlanta for a year, too. So what is the truth, Monet? You're from eight neighborhoods in Brooklyn. You're from three different countries. You're from Atlanta, Georgia, you lived in New Jersey. So what's the truth, Monet?

[C]

Where are you really? Honey, I'm a modern day Renaissance woman, okay? I'm from everywhere and nowhere at all.

[B]

Anyway, not Renaissance. Run a scam. That's what you are. You're a run a scam woman is what you are.

[C]

Honey, I want to talk to you about mental health, sobriety and recovery. Bob. Things that. Sobriety especially is a thing, you know? Can I. Okay. I don't know. I want to say you're the first.

[B]

You're upset. Obsessed with sobriety. You are obsessed with people not drinking. And like you.

[C]

You, I am not with. I literally drink. I drink like a sailor.

[B]

You're obsessed with other people's sobriety. It like, it is. I don't know. I don't know. I don't. Yes. Oh, Monet, you are obsessed. You talk about sobriety more than I do, which is crazy. That's the problem, Years.

[C]

That's the problem.

[B]

Is that the problem? I think it says that there might be some other problems on this. You know, we have a saying. I'll save a chair for you, honey.

[C]

You know what? Write about it. Write about it. I will say.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

I mean, I think you're like the first person I've known who's like, done a program. Like, I think maybe I've met so many people before, but I don't think I was ever aware of, like, sobriety, like, in the way that, you know, a lot of my friends are. Have. Have achieved a sobriety like that.

[B]

You know, the queer sober scene in New York City is actually really sickening. It's like, massive. The queer sober scene is really, really a great New York City, in my opinion, is a great place, probably the best place in the world to get sober. Especially if you are really. Especially if you're a queer person. This is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful place to get sober. Sober Living is a great program that I used to go to here In. Excuse me, in New York City. Sober Living is this really cool organization here in the city that would let you like, they would throw these parties because some people can't. Some people in the middle of the sobriety cannot go and just party at the clubs and the bars. The reason I was able to go to the clubs and the bars because I had sober friends that I went to the bars with. Like, it was me and like a group. I had this big group of like, sober drag queens that I hung out with at like, you know, a lot of my old Marty friends.

[C]

Frosty.

[B]

No, I did not meet Marty in sobriety. I met Marty in messiness outside Vlad. I met Marty got it full on messy. Yana honey. Mess the house down. Mess. But anyway, we go out together and party and have like a lot of fun fun and. And then this thing called Living Sober. There are these dances and these events and these shows, cabarets, Drag. The sober. There's actually a really fierce sober drag scene. I was Ms. Sobriety. I think it was 2011.

[C]

Is that the year you did A dress will be my strongest suit?

[B]

No, that was. That was. That was the. That was the. It was the second year. The year after I won my second time doing actually, you know, my biggest competition, Rest in Peace was Dusty Pouchet. Dusty Pouchet was like the queen to be.

[C]

And.

[B]

And everyone's like, you cannot be Dusty Pouchet. That's like, you will never. She's insane. She's. She's like dusty and. And I in. And her and I actually really bonded over that night. She was. I was very intimidated by her. Very intimidated by her. The recipes. I really miss her a lot. That's.

[C]

She's.

[B]

I'm going to. It was so crazy. I was talking to her like. I mean, everyone. Whenever someone passed away, everyone. Everyone always thinks about the last time I was just talking to her. Beep, beep, beep, Bego. But it. Because it really is. It's wild to think about.

[C]

But to your point, the fact that I love that New York is a great place to get sober, but it's kind of the reason why it's really important to build these communities and safe queer spaces. These safe queer spaces in rural areas, like in places in small towns like our two favorite cities in Andalusia, Alabama, in Walmart, Wisconsin, you can go and find a tribe and a community to get of silver people.

[B]

And so for community, I need to take you to. To Andalusia, Alabama one day. I've actually never been to Wauwatosa. I only know What Tosa. I've been near Wauwatosa because of, because of Honey in the Bronx. Honey in the Bronx. Used to. Honey in the Bronx is from Wauwatosa. And there's everyone who knows the reason why I always say those two towns. Years ago, there's a video of Honey Bronx. And she's doing some gig and she's like, I'm from Wisconsin. And someone in the audience cheers. And then Hunter lebron's goes, wobatosa, Wobatosa. And I just will never forget that video of her going, wobatosa, Wobatosa. That's why I know Wobwatosa, Wisconsin and Andalusia, Alabama. Years ago, I did a show in Andalucia, Alabama with the Missoula Children's Theater. And even someone who is from Alabama and lived there for years, I hadn't even. I hadn't heard of Andalucia. And I was like, what is Andalucia, Alabama? So I've always. Whenever I want to pull up an obscure. My three things. When I want to make a. Make up a random drag queen, I always say squiggly bubble pants. Whenever I want to say a small town, I say either Andaloosh, Alabama, or Wobatosa, Wisconsin. Do you remember squiggly bubble pants?

[C]

Squiggly bubble. Wait, is that a real queen?

[B]

No, it's just the name I used to always make up. I'm like, and here comes some new drag queen. Here come. Here come squiggly bubble pants.

[C]

Hey, I do remember that.

[B]

I do remember that. Monet. Are you, Are you in therapy? I'm in therapy. Can you ask people if they're in therapy? Can you just go?

[C]

Are you?

[B]

Yes, I can ask you. We're friends. Are you in therapy?

[C]

I've never had therapy. You know, I'm just this well adjusted.

[B]

Until you go to therapy and you find out, you know, I, I hadn't started therapy until I was 36. You want to ask me how old I am?

[C]

How old are you, Bob?

[B]

36. I went to therapy for the first time this year. I went to a queer affirming therapist. I felt like I was like. But honestly, I cannot believe it took so long. And I really cannot recommend especially black people. We need to be going to therapy. Black people, we need to be going to therapy. I feel like we're just kind of taught that we just don't or it's just not a thing, girl. These people stay up in therapy. They be. I was talking to my therapist. I was booping and there Is this

[C]

stigma around mental health that, oh, if you go to therapist, honey, you need some help? No, just like you go see a doctor for your physical body, like a pediatrician or a general practitioner for your physical body, going to a therapist to take care of your mental body too, that is a thing. And for people who may suffer with mental health things, or you have suicide ideation thoughts, what are those things?

[B]

As extreme as suicidal ideation. I recommend everyone go, you can, you, you can call the Trevor Project.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

To get help. But also there's not, there's. There's more than just Trevor Project. Go to your local queer center and ask them what resources they have that might be available to you. You know, I mean, there's, there's, there's a lot out there. Trevor Project is definitely one of the biggest ones, though.

[C]

Mm. Life saving work, baby, is very important. Mass. Important thing.

[B]

But, but what I'm saying is like, it really is like we, we gotta get our asses into a therapist seat or on a zoom across from a therapist. You owe it, you owe it to yourself. And there's a lot of really fierce people advocating for queer affirming mental health. You know, Constance Zhao was working to make sure that people can get queer affirming mental health and attending medical school to pursue psychiatry. And we need a lot of people like that. Like, you know, they co founded the Will Cornell Medicine Wellness Clinic, which is a student run resource. Student run resource that provides mental health care to queer people while serving as a training ground for the next generation of practitioners. But this is the kind of stuff that we need in the world. I think that they began therapy for the first time in their 30s. Same here, honey. Also started for the first time. And they have a family history of mental illness. Hello. Same here. Do you have a history? Okay, let's. Monet, do you have any, do you have any mental illness in your family?

[C]

Not that I'm aware of. Especially not in my immediate family, but. No one in my family.

[B]

Oh, so y' all just. Y' all just. Y' all just.

[C]

No one in my. No one in my family smokes. No one in my family does anything. I am. When I tell you I, I am the. I am the kookiest thing in my family. Like, my family.

[B]

I believe this. You're the kookiest thing in my life. Okay. And I'm a world famous drag queen.

[C]

He looks at me like, this dude is out here.

[B]

He's a drag queen. You never do Caribbean accents when you talk about your family. Like, when you like they're not saying. They don't go this dude. How do they say it? How do they say it?

[C]

They don't. Okay. My family up here in the States, they don't have accents.

[B]

Okay, well, how about the ones in St. Lucia?

[C]

I'm not speaking like that. I'm not into that.

[B]

Okay, well, y' all Google the video. Monet winning the Miss Caribbean pageant. If you want to hear Monet, St. Lucian accent, just Google as sweet as St. Lucia, and you can find Monet doing her. Her elusive Saint Lucian accent.

[C]

Not elusive, but. Yeah. So I don't. I don't think.

[B]

I don't. Oh, by the way, when I do go home with you, St. Lucia, I'm going to be secretly recording every word. Anyway, like I said, I will be recording every word. So, y', all, we're going to get up. We're going to feast on this day, honey.

[C]

My family may have it, but no one is. At least not. It's undiagnosed. And as far as I can tell, everyone in my family seems to be okay. So maybe it's coming later. Maybe ours kicks in, like, later on in life, like in our 70s and 80s.

[B]

Just to be clear, because you have. Just cause you have something with your mentality doesn't mean you're not okay. And I think that.

[C]

No, no, no, no. I'm saying. I'm saying. But it may be undiagnosed. Not diagnosed. Like, undiagnosed. Like, maybe someone has BP or maybe someone has, you know, I don't know. But it's. They may have it, but they've never been to a doctor to get treatment or.

[B]

You know, my family is riddled with mental health, with mental health stuff, and there's. There's a lot of. There's a lot of it going on in my family. And. And I definitely. You know, something my mom used to always say. I used to ask my mom, because my mom, when I was a bartender, I was upset. I was like. I was one of the folks who wanted to be, like, a career. A career bartender. Like. Like whatever the alcohol version of a sommelier is. I wanted that, but for, like, spirits and not just a drunken a. I mean, basically, I was like. I wanted. I was like. I wanted to be one of those bartenders who flip the stuff. I wanted to own bars. I was obsessed. I mean, I was obsessed. I was deep, deep, deep in my addiction, obviously. And I was. Every breathing second of my life was either about drinking or figuring out how to drink or making cocktails or all this kind of stuff. And I used to try to get my mom, I wanted to make her drinks at the bar I worked at. I. My mom would not. She would not drink. And I'd be like, why would you just have a drink? Or she's like. She's like, well, you know, if other people get hooked on it, why wouldn't I? If other people get hooked so easily, why wouldn't I? That's why I don't drink. That's why I don't do drugs, why I don't do any of that. Any of this, you know, stuff. So I've definitely been trying to take a look out for my mental health. And. And by the way, it's not just. If it's not just for you, it's also for, like, other people in your life as well. When. When you look into yourself, when you do a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself, you can really be. You can.

[C]

Are you giving us some steps?

[B]

That's. That is. That is. That's for me to know and for you to find out. But you can, you know, really show up better for others once you really look into who to. To quote our Fiki, I am not the one who's confused. You don't even know who you are.

[C]

What? Anytime you do your Rafiki voice, it sounds like my voice when I went to Mesopotamia.

[B]

I am not the one who's confused. You don't even know who you are. Honestly, it's iconic. Rafiki is a queer icon. I'm going to name it right now. Rafiki is a queer icon.

[C]

I have a question. Do you think. Do you think.

[B]

I don't very often.

[C]

I know you don't. That's clear on this podcast. But I want you to, like, to really challenge yourself and try right now. Do you think that you and I could open a sober bar?

[B]

No, no, no, no. You don't want that. As a sober. As a sober person, what do you do as a bar? First of all, the way that most bars operate is. Is through the markup from alcohol sales. So a bottle of, like, if you. The bottle that they buy for 80 bucks, by the time they have finished selling it, they have made over, like, $900 on this bottle. On this bottle of, like, Grey Goose or whatever. So. No.

[C]

Okay, but, Bob, they have.

[B]

They have.

[C]

They have sober spirit. Patty's telling me there's a sober spirit store that sells like this that. That sells, like, you know, vodka and bourbon and gin. That's. That's all sober. That's. That's not alcoholic. So you can do it in the same way.

[B]

Maybe. You know, I also, I also just don't as I feel like I'm the target demographic for that and I'm just not interested. I don't want. I feel like that is really for people who like just got sober like last week and they're, and they're desperately trying to retaste Jack Daniels because they just missed the taste of Jack Daniels.

[C]

Well, according to Business Insider, soba bars are selling fancy mocktails and they are booming, honey. Showing that dry January is more than just a trend as Americans increasingly adopt alcohol free lifestyles. Roberta. But I will say I have tried one of Patty's soba drinks and that it's like sugar, sugar, sugar girl, sugar. I'm drinking a glass of sugar girl, sugar girl. It is very sweet. So if we could find like a happy medium between non alcohol and not making it just a glass of.

[B]

Well, I mean, girl, they just call, they call drinks mocktail. Like, they'll be like mocktail like. Mary, this is just fully lemonade. This is just. It's not a mocktail. It's lemonade. Mary, you know what I mean?

[C]

You're obsessed with Beyonce. You're obsessed with Beyonce. You cannot let this girl, you cannot leave this girl alone.

[A]

I do.

[C]

You're right.

[B]

I do love Beyonce. Oh, you got me. Hands up. You got me.

[C]

And who's the one, who is the one that, who's the one that put you onto Beyonce? You want to tell me? Thank you.

[B]

You think, you think you, you think I. You think I found out about Beyonce because of you? You think I found out about Beyonce because of you? You think my 36 year old ass found out about Beyonce because of card. Giselle knows, Carter. Because of you.

[C]

Because of Monet Xavier Change.

[B]

You think I was just skipping through the world, never heard the name Beyonce, and then I bumped into you and he said, have you heard of this new artist, Beyonce?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Girl, if you don't sit your bald headed ass down. Take that.

[C]

What did.

[B]

Take off your hat, you balding. Take off your hat, you balding. I have hair, honey. Look at this, honey. I have hair. Yeah, unlike you. I can grow it, honey. Yeah, unlike Monet. Look at that, honey. Ask Monet to do this if she could ever do this.

[C]

Let's see you in two weeks. And take out the rest of the hat. Check out the rest of the hat. Show us right here, you know, on

[B]

the show right here, you know, on the next podcast. On the very next podcast.

[C]

Oh, don't you dare I don't know.

[B]

The very next podcast we see, I will take my hat off and show the world. Reveal yourself. You are literally you. I'm the worst thing for your mental health. My come up is the worst thing for your mental health.

[C]

Honey, I can't stand you because I know exactly why you'll have hair.

[B]

Some of us grow a full head of hair. Honey girl, I have to shave my forehead. The hairline is so low. Honey, it's giving Tina Burner hairline.

[C]

Honey, I can't.

[B]

He's giving Christian Sebur seaber honey sear. Oh, just. You guys know, people, people think that we, that we made that. That is just a reference to people who do not know. That is just a reference to Alyssa Edwards coaching Cameron michaels on season 10 during the Blair.

[C]

Blair and Blair and Cameron.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. During the farmer Rusical. And she kept going, by the way, me and Monet, I don't even think Alyssa Edwards remembers this quote. It's just me and Monet doing it. Big grrr girl. Big grrr. You know, people, people come up to me all the time and say that.

[C]

Big girl. Oh yeah, girl, me too. At meet and greets or if I'm like leaving a comedy show, walking, literally walking back to my dressing room. Big girl. Big girl.

[B]

Honestly, it's funny. Every single is never not funny. Big girl, girl, Big girl.

[C]

How do we find queer spaces and silver spaces outside of big cities though? Like how?

[B]

Well, luckily we live in the age of the Internet. You know, I think that, I mean, you know, I'll put it to you this way. I, I have a, I have a little TV show since we're plugging our. Since we're doing our side gigs, I'll plug my side gig. Now I have an Emmy award winning television show called we're here on HBO where we go to a lot of small towns. And what I found out is in, in these towns, a lot of these people have met each other through Instagram, through message boards, through Reddit, through Facebook groups. Facebook groups. These small towns be on these Facebook groups finding that finding each other hang out, they become friends. You go to your local. If you're a small town does have an LGTB center or sometimes LGT center shares a space with other foundations and organizations because they don't have enough support to have their own building. But they are. Queer people pop up everywhere. Queer people. That's the thing about queer people. Queer people are you don't need queer people to make queer people. In fact, most queer people are made by Straight people, oddly enough. So we pop up everywhere, all around the world, in every nook and cranny, in every corner.

[C]

We worldwide.

[B]

International. International, baby. So especially y' all use the Internet. The Internet is a great resource. I'm not one of those folks who's like, who goes on about how I don't like social media. I love social media. Social media has given so much to the world, in my opinion. Are you one of the folks who's like, can we just get off of our phones, Bob?

[C]

Literally our whole business is on the phone. Of course I'm not.

[B]

But you know folks who are like, sometimes I envy off of our phones, please.

[C]

I do, but I do. Sometimes I look at people who can be like, I'm taking like a. I'm taking like Arcia right now is on a. Is on a social media clench. She not on social media.

[B]

For her best Arcia sentence you ever.

[C]

Thank you. So the more that you learn Arcia, the more you. The more you learn Arcea. You see? You see it, right? That is so rc. She's like, oh, I see. I just need.

[B]

Like, I see ya.

[C]

Like, yeah, I just need. I just need a break from social media. So I'm not doing social media for the.

[B]

For the.

[C]

For six months. Other go off Arcia 6

[B]

very artsy podcast.

[C]

Very RC of all.

[B]

Don't she got a podcast. Very artsy. Well, she want to hear this for six months. We can say whatever we want to say.

[C]

Say what you need to say.

[B]

We have six months to think of a rebuttal.

[C]

Yeah. So utilize things like TikTok, like Instagram, like Twitter to find those places. And you know, Kameka, recently I was hanging out with Kameka and she turned me on.

[B]

I forget.

[C]

I mean, because I'm not on Facebook anymore, but I forget the Facebook group or like Facebook, there's like a whole other side of Facebook that's like about all these groups and stuff and how people do this stuff. You look into that. She. This group that we were talking about was not about this. And she told me not to mention it on the podcast. I'll tell you offline, but Facebook got some groups about everything.

[B]

Yeah, I used to have a group called Everyday no matter what, which I. This is what I was working out every day no matter what. I was like, every day I'm going to do some form of working out no matter what, which I think might get a.

[C]

That's a hard acronym.

[B]

E N E N mw.

[C]

Are you about to have an aneurysm? Yee E. What the hell is that?

[B]

Ye. Who's gonna love me?

[C]

Oh, you and I need to have a movie night. We need to watch this new Monique movie. Everyone's talking about it.

[B]

Oh, the scary one.

[C]

The reading.

[B]

It's a scary one, right? It's her big return with Daniel Lee.

[C]

Lee Daniels.

[B]

Lee Daniels. Lee Daniels. I was saying his name like it appears in the phone book. Isn't it wild that back in the day you could just look up someone's name and get their home address?

[C]

That's crazy. That's crazy.

[B]

And you had to call the phone book to have your name taken out and pay them? I think I might have made that part up.

[C]

VAV will add details. And he had to call and take it up. And a ransom. And also paid them to.

[B]

I heard. Well, I heard that you had to pay them, but I can't remember if I made that up or. That's real. But you did have the call to have your name taken out of the phone book. Like you didn't opt in. You had to opt out.

[C]

But were celebrities in it

[B]

if they didn't call and say, please don't have me in there?

[C]

Yeah, they were.

[B]

So you'll be fine is what I'm getting at. So you're in there. So you made the cut. Mary, are you. We've discussed. Are you a celebrity? Have you changed your thought yet?

[C]

I think when we had the conversation, I said, yes, I am a celebrity. I mean, I think there are varying degrees of celebrity. I don't think I'm.

[B]

Yeah, you're on the last level.

[C]

They don't think I'm Whoopi Goldberg.

[B]

You're not Bob the drag queen girl.

[C]

Let me almost. I almost said something that ended our friendship.

[B]

Like what?

[C]

Nothing. Baby, I love you so much.

[B]

Like what? What? Stormy. Stormy. You look just like mummy, baby. Yeah, Everything I do. You claim you don't like me, but do everything like me. That is what gets me a true New Yorker. She didn't live eight years in Atlanta, 12 years in Germany, 10 years in Trinidad, nine years when I was in

[C]

New York, stomping around New York City, getting on the 2 train, going to school and doing these hard, hard knocked New York City life. You was out in Atlanta playing in the woods, in the sticks, catching bullfrogs and catching your little fireflies in your little jar. That's what you was doing. Honey, I was in New York City born, raised and bred, baby.

[B]

What about the 10 years in St. Lucia? What about that big chunk of life?

[C]

Yeah, I was still born in New York City. I was born at Kings County General Hospital, baby.

[B]

More like Cook County Jail. Do you know Cook County?

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

In Atlanta.

[B]

Cook County's in Chicag. I mean, the musical Chicago takes place is the Cook County Jail in Chicago is still.

[C]

Oh, I've never seen Chicago. I need to see Chicago. I was supposed to go see Chicago last night. I completely forgot.

[B]

You got tickets and you didn't go.

[C]

No, I didn't get tickets. I was just gonna buy tickets.

[B]

So what did you do last night? I just.

[C]

Nothing. I went to dinner with Arcia. I was like. And that day, I was like, how am I supposed to do something tonight?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Jinx came to see you.

[C]

Jinx did not come to see me. And it's not about getting to see who. I just. I really want to go see her in it. I saw, like, a little clip on YouTube and I was like, screaming. I was like, first of all, do

[B]

your service as a subject to your queen. Be loyal to your queen.

[C]

She's your queen, baby. She's the queen of all queens, honey. She's your queen.

[B]

Be loyal to queen of all queens, honey. She reigns over those she beat.

[C]

Okay, honey, Queen of all.

[B]

And we all know. And we all know. We all know who won that last lip sync. She demolished you.

[C]

She. It's literally in your name.

[B]

Jinx.

[C]

Bob the Drag Queen.

[B]

Jinx ate you.

[C]

Like, Bob the Drag Queen. She's your queen.

[B]

Like that vegan sandwich you're going to have tonight. She ate you, honey.

[C]

She's not vegan. She's vegan.

[B]

I don't know, but she gives off vegan vibes. She kind of looks vegan. If Jinx says she's vegan. If Jinx says she's vegan, you'd be like, for sure she gives off vegan

[C]

vibes because she's from Portland.

[B]

Yeah, she's, like, witchy, and she's got the whole, like. She cares so much that she wouldn't want to hurt the animal's feelings.

[C]

So. What about all those chickens she be sacrificing in her closet? What about those chickens?

[B]

I think that she's that kind of witch. That's the Azealia Banks kind of witch

[C]

Jinx literally had on her album. She has a track with Azealia Banks.

[B]

Okay. Nah, I know you lied. And on that note. And on that note, do you want to. Do you want to. Do you want to say one final thank you to LGBTQ Nation's authentic Voices of Pride presented by Chevrolet, or are you going to. Do you not Are you afraid to say thank you?

[C]

Watching you read that. I can see. Do you want to say thank you to lgv? No. Y', all, we are very, very, very excited for these next very special episodes. And honestly, this is a topic I love talking about, because as we're talking about this, I'm edumacating myself because there are a lot of parts of this that I don't know as well. It's very fun to have these episodes. They're gonna be very great for the Future. What? Eddie McKay.

[B]

So you all, I just thought to myself, do yourself a favor, go back and watch the episode where Monet did her book report. What was it called, baby? The one about was about black history. Y' all go back and watch Monet do her book report that. You are so sad. When they came to, they realized that they.

[C]

That's literally you reading something. And we want to say a special thank you to the lgbtq. That's you.

[B]

The way you went back to little chunky Kevin Burton with a Caribbean accent trying to do a book report. Ooh, that is so funny. Anyway, I'm going to watch that. As soon as we get off this line. That's a. I'm gonna go do that. That's my homework.

[C]

You get off my line. How about that?

[B]

Thank you all for listening today. Mona, actually, I actually had a lot of fun for once. I had fun talking to you for once.

[C]

Yeah, you know, I had fun talking about the topic, not necessarily with you.

[B]

And this was a special episode of Sibling Rivalry, brought to you by LGBTQ Nation's Authentic Voices of Pride, presented by Chevrolet.

[C]

Roberta, this was a very insightful conversation. Do you agree?

[B]

Yeah. I actually learned a lot. I did.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It was really fierce.

[C]

Yeah. We're very happy to be partnering with the LGBTQ Nation's Authentic Voices of Pride, presented by Chevrolet.

[B]

Again, the mission is to have these amazing conversations about really significant issues in the LGBTQ community. We talk about health care, starting a family, youth, homelessness, living in rural towns, issues with aging, justice reform, baby. The topics go on and on and on, and I can't wait to have another one.

[C]

Yeah, well, you know what? What do you think we should do next, Bob? What do y' all think we should do next?

[B]

Yeah, you know what? It's not just up to me. I'm not a cheer tater. Torrance. So let's have you all comment below.

[C]

Yes. Thank you, LGBTQ Nation. Authentic Voices of Pride presented by Chevrolet. That's how you do it, baby.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

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