The One About Magic

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Magic"

Release Date: May 18, 2026
Hosts: Monét X Change and Bob the Drag Queen
Producer: Jacob (adjudicator/interjector)
Main Theme: Hilarious, freewheeling discussion on magic—literal, metaphorical, and pop-cultural—and all the wild directions it leads Monét and Bob.

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Overview

In this episode, Monét X Change and Bob the Drag Queen dive into the nature of magic—what counts as magical, how it intersects with science, and the fantastical powers they wish they had. Expect their trademark banter, shade, laugh-out-loud moments, and digressions into everything from cocktail habits, spirituality, pop culture, and superpowers to unexpected deep dives into spelling, whistling showdowns, and animated debates about which animal is the most “dangerous.” The magic, as always, is in their chemistry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Clap Slate, Cocktails, and Countdowns

[02:19–03:30]

• The episode opens with behind-the-scenes chaos over synchronizing the podcast with a “clap slate.”
• Bob and Monét joke about always being unprepared (“But you do it every single time!”), leading to classic sibling-rivalry bickering:
  • Bob: “Then put your drink down, bitch." (02:55)
  • Lighthearted stabs at each other’s habits and incompetence, with playful insults about their hometowns and high school mascots.

2. Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling, and Drag Race Obsessions

[03:29–05:03]

• Bob accuses Monét of secretly being obsessed with J.K. Rowling (“She has an entire room in her home dedicated to J.K. Rowling. There is light shining onto the book.” 04:40)
• Monét leans in with her now-memorable quote:
  • Monét: “She’s my hero. What do you want me to say?” (04:57)
• The conversation snowballs into arguments about movie quizzes, fandoms, and who dragged whom into the world of Harry Potter.

3. Faith, Mormons, and Scientology Side Quests

[06:05–08:28]

• The duo humorously interrogates each other’s knowledge about Christianity, the LDS Church (“Where’s like, latter mean like later? Like, the Saints of Later?” 06:34), and who counts as more "Christian."
• Monét jokes about seeing Bob as a potential Scientologist and teases about addiction and cult-like obsessions, with Bob retorting:
  • Bob: “Are you using my struggles with addiction against me right now?” (08:14)

4. Bartending, Bourbon, and Spelling Showdowns

[09:11–13:16]

• Spirited debate over the definition of “bourbon” leads to Jacob adjudicating:
  • Jacob: “All bourbon is whiskey, but not all whiskey is bourbon.” (10:13)
• Transforms into a mini spelling bee for the word “contiguous,” with volleyed attempts and lots of shade:
  • Bob: “You spelled ‘contigus.’”
  • Monét: “Because he’s a loser.”
  • Bob: “You know nothing. Good day, sir! You lose. Goodbye.” (10:59)

5. Whistling Contest & Musical Tangents

[13:19–16:15]

• The highlight: a “whistle off,” with Bob and Monét attempting everything from Beyoncé riffs to "Flight of the Bumblebee."
  • Bob: “I’m a great whistler.” (13:19)
  • Jacob: “Can you do the Beyoncé Dubai?”
  • The two roast each other’s skills, laughing so hard they can’t continue.

6. Drag, Riffing, and Famous Voices

[21:03–22:34]

• Discussion about fast vibrato and gospel riffing (“Jennifer Hudson does not have a fast vibrato!” 21:33), segueing to admiration for Duran Bernard and Erykah Badu.

7. Pop Culture Deep Dives: Lizzo, Girls Trip, and Reginas

[22:34–27:09]

• A trivia spiral on where Lizzo is from (Michigan, not Chicago or Texas—nobody's right);
• Segues into discussions of “Scary Movie,” White Girls,” and confusion over Regina King, Regina Hall, and Regina George.

8. Fights Over Forgotten "Thank Yous" and Past DMs

[29:05–31:38]

• Much of the episode’s middle is devoted to a hilarious, real-time search through old Facebook messages to find out whether Bob ever properly thanked Monét for borrowing a yellow swim outfit. Receipts are produced, with victory claimed and banter flying:
  • Bob: “All you have to do is type in ‘thank you’ and it'll show every thank you we’ve ever had.” (30:30)

9. Magic, Science, and Powers: What Counts as “Magic”?

[53:00–56:14]

• The philosophical heart of the episode:
  • Monét: “I’m so annoyed that magic isn’t real.” (53:37)
  • Bob: “It kind of is, though.”
• They debate when science becomes indistinguishable from magic, discuss mutant powers vs. magic (X-Men references), and quiz Jacob over juggernaut’s origins:
  • Bob: "Juggernaut is magic." (56:24)
  • Jacob: “His powers are magical, derived from the Crimson Gem.” (56:36)

10. If You Could Have Any Power...

[57:10–59:52, 60:02–63:40]

• Both pick superpowers:
  • Monét wants to “gain infinite knowledge," Bob wants “mind control."
  • They debate the merits of bending powers from Avatar: The Last Airbender (water-bending is universally crowned the most OP).
  • Bob: “Cuz at that point I would just rip all your blood out your body.” (61:06)
  • Discussion about how powers are “scientific” or “magical,” with plenty of X-Men and pop culture references.

11. Wild Animal Hypotheticals

[69:49–71:18]

• If you could talk to/control one animal species, what would it be?
  • Bob: “Mosquitoes… I would be the most powerful being on the planet Earth.” (70:57)
  • Monét: "Bees are fierce!"
• Surprisingly, bees versus mosquitoes becomes an epic, absurd debate.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Bob: “Now that’s an ugly dick.” (34:20) — reviewing old DMs, referencing Orlando Bloom’s infamous paparazzi photos.
• Monét: “She’s my hero. What do you want me to say?” (04:57) — admitting her “love” for J.K. Rowling, mock-seriously.
• Bob: “Don’t stay somewhere, live somewhere. Book on Airbnb.” (00:43) (ad, but a great example of their tongue-in-cheek sponsor delivery).
• Bob: “If you can spell contiguous…” (11:01) — mid-spelling bee battle.
• Monét: “Every time I walk away from Bob, I leave drained as shit" (65:36) — joking about being an “energy sucker.”
• Bob: “You’re a dog that can climb things… before you even hit power-up I feel bad for you!” (68:51) — during the wild “superpower battle” segment.

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Pop Culture and Drag Race Callbacks

• RuPaul’s Drag Race, Scary Movie, Mean Girls, Boondocks, Bohemian Rhapsody, Avatar: The Last Airbender, X-Men, Heroes, and nods to fellow drag legends like Bianca Del Rio and Duran Bernard.
• Multiple accidental revelations of private (and raunchy) DM content, with Producer Jacob adjudicating spelling, trivia, and “who said what first” disputes.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:19–03:30]: The ‘clap slate’ and drink in hand argument
• [04:57]: Monét’s “She’s my hero” declaration
• [10:13]: Jacob clarifies whiskey vs. bourbon
• [13:19–16:15]: Whistling contest
• [30:30–31:38]: Facebook “thank you” search
• [53:37–54:06]: Is magic real?
• [57:10–63:40]: Superpower wishes and bending debate
• [70:57–72:07]: Mosquitoes vs. bees

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Tone & Vibe

• Language and tone: Unfiltered, irreverent, full of in-jokes and drag shade; switches seamlessly between playful, raunchy, nerdy, and heartfelt.
• Dynamic: Part sibling squabble, part deep-dive debate, 100% hilarious.
• Memorability: Bob and Monét’s deep well of references, storytelling, and willingness to be petty, emotional, and spontaneous is pure podcast magic.

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Summary:

While the “magic” of the title at times means literal spells or Harry Potter, it just as often refers to the everyday magic of banter and queer community—where even a discussion about whiskey or kanji morphs into dragtainment gold. Whether they’re roleplaying as Bach and Beethoven, or strategizing world domination as a bee queen or mosquito emperor, this episode is a perfectly chaotic showcase of Sibling Rivalry’s wit and warmth.

If you’re new to the show, this is a signature episode: smart, wild, and unforgettable.

Transcript

[Monet X Change]

We've been loving partnering with Airbnb, especially because we travel nonstop and in hotels, it just gets a little the same. But I stayed in this very, very, very cute cabin in Big Bear with these huge floor to ceiling windows facing nature, being with trees.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, listen, waking up with like coffee in a little quiet spot, snowy landscape, it feels like you're like.

[Monet's James]

Like you accidentally became a calm person,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you know what I mean?

[Monet's James]

And that never happens.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There was a space to relax, unwind,

[Monet's James]

rest before jumping back into it is great. It's easy to find places with the amenities that you actually want, like kitchens

[Bob the Drag Queen]

and outdoor spaces, or a room to spread out and relax. Y', all. We're serious.

[Monet's James]

Airbnb makes travel feel personal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't stay somewhere, live somewhere, book on Airbnb.

[Monet's James]

You know that voice inside your head that's like, what if I'm secretly a bad person? We all get unwanted thoughts like this sometimes. But you might be dealing with more than just overthinking. It could actually be OCD.

[Monet X Change]

OCD needs a specialized type of therapy called ERP. So if you've been struggling, go to no NOCD.com to book a free call and learn how they can help. That's NOCD.com time to take your power back.

[Monet's James]

I gotta tell you guys, I actually have a friend who struggles with ocd and he used ERP therapy and he was like, the way it changed my life has been staggering. So give it a shot.

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[Monet's James]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[Monet X Change]

And I'm Monet's James.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And this is simply.

[Monet X Change]

On this week's episode. We find out who's a better whistler.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We talk about magic.

[Monet X Change]

And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now that's an ugly dick. And we find out what made Monet say this.

[Monet X Change]

She's my hero. What do you want me to say? So, okay, when we start the podcast, we do a clap slate.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are you screaming?

[Monet X Change]

Aren't you supposed to be keeping your voice down to align our sound and our visuals so our editors can have an easier time? So Jacob says, let's start with a collapsed slate. Bob sees me with A drink in my hand, and he starts counting us in. Okay, to be clear, why do you do that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be clear, why would you have a drink in your hand when Jacob calls for a collapsed. I didn't know Jacob said we need a collapse. I was looking at my phone.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't know either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I said, one, I look up at you. I said, two. And then I said, oh, let's put a drink down.

[Monet X Change]

But you do it every single time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I said, oh, let her put a drink down. And then.

[Monet X Change]

But you do it every single time. Do you not do it every single time?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then put your drink down, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

No, but you. But even if I'm not drinking, if I'm not ready, you count it. Every time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's all, folks.

[Monet X Change]

You have stutter, but, nigga, you stutter and mutter, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Porky. Saint Lucian pig.

[Monet X Change]

You Atlanta fucking Bulldog. Dyke Dagger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, first of all, the Bulldogs are from uga. They're from Athens. I'm where they're from. Atlantis. The Fuchs.

[Monet X Change]

You are from Columbus, Georgia? Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Cottonmouth is the hockey team. Do you know what a cottonmouth is? It's a snake.

[Monet X Change]

I know what a cottonmouth is. It's what? Wait. It was Victoria. Not from Bakilbill. Vivica Fox's character, was she Cottonmouth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Black Mamba.

[Monet X Change]

No, she wanted to be Black Mamba.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I should have been Black Mamba.

[Monet X Change]

Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Beatrix. Beatrix Bella Strange. Her name is not Bella Strange. That's Harry Potter you're obsessed with. You're obsessed with J.K. rowling.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Cottonmouth was Orangey.

[Monet X Change]

First of all, you were the one that put me onto J.K. rowling.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not true, Bob. I've never read a J.K. rowling book in my life.

[Monet X Change]

But you. We went to go see the Harry the Seventh movie together. I don't wanna go see it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You.

[Monet X Change]

So you wanna go see it, not me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also not true.

[Monet X Change]

You're a liar.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And when was that? What day? What year?

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember. The year was when we first met.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What was in the movie?

[Monet X Change]

What was in the movie?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Harry Potter quiz.

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember. Cause you the one that loved it. I didn't love the movie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Monet, we all know that's not true because we saw how you excelled at the Harry Potter quiz.

[Monet X Change]

Excelled? I beat you by one point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were no Europe. You were literally obsessed. And I think you were holding back.

[Monet X Change]

Quite frankly, you thought I was only mad.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think you're holding back because of your. Your what? You guys don't know about is that Monet has never done a full house tour because she has an entire room in her home dedicated to J.K. rowling. And by the way, it's not dedicated to Harry Potter. It is specifically dedicated to J.K. rowling. She has pictures of J.K. rowling. She has J.K. rowling's books that had nothing to do with Harry Potter. Specifically the one that she wrote where a transphobic. A trans character was a murderer. Monet has that book. It is in. It is on a literal pedestal. There is light shining onto the book.

[Monet X Change]

She's my hero. What do you want me to say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's what I wanted you to say.

[Monet X Change]

I love her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wanted you to come clean.

[Monet X Change]

I love Jake.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you've been coming dirty for a long time, honey.

[Monet X Change]

I thought this guy last night. You're a. You civilian, Dorset. You're a slut. Can I tell you, I know that quote. I have no idea where it's from.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's from. I'm pretty sure it's from. I think it's from. What's the movie Mommy? Serial Mom.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Serial Mom. That's from Serial mom as well, I think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not 100% sure.

[Monet X Change]

Serial mom gave the gays and the queer side.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It might also be Exorcist.

[Monet X Change]

No, that's not from Exorcist. I've seen Exorcist. That's not an Exorcist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exorcist has some bangers in it. Do you think that that little devil would get you?

[Monet X Change]

I could be possessed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Would it get your goat?

[Monet X Change]

Like, if I came in and Jacob was possessed and Jacob had to spin around, vomiting, doing things, and he.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's like when it says, your

[Monet X Change]

mother sucks, Costa, and Jacob was like, you black nigger sucking cock lover.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would it go you probably. You can't let the devil get you, Mom. You cannot let the devil get you.

[Monet X Change]

Don't let the. Don't let the devil get you down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't let the devil get you down. Is that a. Is that from something?

[Monet X Change]

That's the saying people say.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who says it?

[Monet X Change]

Christians, I imagine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How Christian? On a scale of 1 to 1 to 10, one being literal, like atheist or Buddhist or whatever. 10 being like fucking Brigham, BYU, Brigham Young University. 10 being Mormons is not Christian. They're Christians, Joel Osteen.

[Monet X Change]

Mormons are Christians.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They believe in Jesus Christ, lds, Latter Day Saints. The Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ, Right? Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Are the Latter Day. Where's like, latter mean like later. Like, like the Saints of Later.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So our Jesus was, like, really long ago, and their Jesus was, like, maybe, like, five, six, maybe seven generations ago. Right.

[Monet X Change]

But Latter Day, meaning, like the. Like. Like the Later Day Saints.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Today is the lat day.

[Monet X Change]

Got it. Got it.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

The old thing. Jesus, like yester. Yester. And the latter ones now, Joseph.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, we're doing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because the Jewish people are the oldest Day Saints, the Christians are the newer Day Saints, and then the LDs, they're the latter Day Saints.

[Monet X Change]

The Latter Day Saints.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would you. Would you ever consider Mormonism? Let's not be disrespectful to people. There might be more.

[Monet X Change]

I don't give a. I don't. If a Scientologist. Mormons. I don't give a. I don't care.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

John Travolta is a big fan of this podcast.

[Monet X Change]

He's not a. He's a Scientologist. He's not a Mormon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said so. You said Mormon Scientologists. Oh, yeah. So do you want to apologize to Leah Remini?

[Monet X Change]

She's not a Scientologist. She was. She was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That doesn't mean she doesn't care about her.

[Monet X Change]

Her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How about her. Her. Her sisters? How about her cousins who are still in the church?

[Monet X Change]

Can I say something?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are they pieces of.

[Monet X Change]

Can I say something? I'm not trying to be funny. I'm not trying to be funny. I could absolutely see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've seen. When you try.

[Monet X Change]

I. I could see. I could see a world. I could see. See a world where you join Scientology.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe, like, not now.

[Monet X Change]

A few years ago, I could see a role where you were Scientology a few years ago. Like, I feel like when I first met you, I could have seen a world where you were Scientologist when you met me. When I first met you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I understand what the word first means. I understand the concept of the word first. It's a pretty easy word.

[Monet X Change]

Especially here. Especially. And especially hearing. Especially. You have a very addictive personality and things that you like. So I can see, like, you getting really into it. It's like someone came.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you using my struggles with addiction against me right now? Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

All my friends with addiction. Y' all have addictive personalities.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Using my struggles with addiction.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Against me?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's crazy.

[Monet X Change]

I don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is outside? Outside of drugs and alcohol?

[Monet X Change]

Just drugs and alcohol?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What have I ever been addicted to outside of drugs? Yeah. Did I huff computer dust during college? Maybe. Did I drink on my way to work every day? Every Tuesday? Sorry. If I spilled an appetizer on your way to work.

[Monet X Change]

You would drink.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was A social experiment.

[Monet X Change]

Every day.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every day.

[Monet X Change]

Every. Like it was every day.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Every shift. If I had a shift, I was drunk first, I would do this thing where I do one shot of Jim Beam and.

[Monet X Change]

Are you doing it at the job? At home?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So home portraits to home port shots. These are not shot. These are not New York City gay bar shots where they give it to you in the. In. In the thimble. These are.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no. New York, bitch. When you get to take shots in the uk. Cause those. I'm sorry. You know, Cause y' all have standards and practices. That's rude when they.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But the scientists don't have standards and

[Monet X Change]

practices in the uk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They.

[Monet X Change]

The bartenders, they, like. They measure every ounce of alcohol you get in America. They don't measure. I think as queens, they don't measure your shot like the bartenders, because they

[Bob the Drag Queen]

know you never order a drink as a queen.

[Monet X Change]

Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wouldn't.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so go ahead. So you would get a bartender.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do a shot of Jim Beam with a little bit of whiskey.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With a little bit of bourbon.

[Monet X Change]

Bourbon. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know bourbon.

[Monet X Change]

I think it's the same thing. Whiskey and bourbon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bourbon is made in Bourbon County, Kentucky.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. What's whiskey in Tennessee?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So when it's made outside of Bourbon county, it's called sour mash.

[Monet X Change]

I've never heard. I've never gone to a store or seen a fucking sour mash out of.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because they don't make a ton of bourbon outside of Kentucky. Because you can't make bourbon outside of Bourbon County, Kentucky if it's not made in Bourbon County, Kentucky. It is called sour mash.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, Jacob, can you look at bourbons outside of Kentucky? I've definitely seen. I don't know where they are, but I've definitely seen something called bourbon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's how champagne has made a champagne.

[Monet X Change]

Champagne.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Outside of that, it's called sparkling wine or sparkling wine cava.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

So all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

All bourbon is whiskey, but not all whiskey is bourbon.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. That's what it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gather this bitch. Say it to this bitch.

[Monet X Change]

No, that proves my point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Say it to this bitch.

[Monet X Change]

That proves my point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were you listening? You said bourbons outside of your ears. Bourbons outside of Kentucky. Open your ears. Go, go, go, go, go. Jacob, Google bourbons outside of Kentucky, and let's see how bad this bitch. Understood? Since you love drinking so much.

[Monet X Change]

I do love drinking. I haven't done it in like four weeks now. I'm annoyed by it. While over 90% of bourbons produced in Kentucky, high quality bourbon can legally Be distilled anywhere in the. I'm going to add a word. Contiguous. United States.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Top, Non.

[Monet X Change]

Kentucky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Spell contiguous.

[Monet X Change]

What I'm hearing that you are wrong,

[Monet's James]

bitch, and you don't know what the

[Monet X Change]

fuck you're talking about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're a fucking loser and you know nothing.

[Monet X Change]

Good day, sir. You lose. Goodbye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you can't spell contiguous, of course I can still continue.

[Monet X Change]

US Bitch. I have a New York City public education. You have a shitty Atlanta school education, which we saw. We have a 92% reading rate.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

While you're not. You're in the 10, you're 32. I'm in the 32, you're in the 10. That's the difference. That's the difference.

[Monet X Change]

Y' all have a 36.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're spell contiguous. We're going to whisper contiguous.

[Monet X Change]

Can you say the word?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're going to whisper contiguous into the microphone. We're only. Jake. We can hear and Jake's going to tell us who spelled it right. Ready? J,

[Monet X Change]

O. Bitch, I can hear you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

G, O, U, S. All right.

[Monet X Change]

M on S. I need you to bring your ears.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've already spelled it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, this was you. C. Oh, okay. Hi. Hi. My name is Kevin Burton and I'm representing class 107. What is my word?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Your word is contiguous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

107. But enough about your shoe size.

[Monet X Change]

Contiguous. Can you use it in a sentence, please?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

No, Because I didn't use it for

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bob, so I feel like that would be. Yeah, gather this bitch. But yet the other day when we

[Monet X Change]

did the Harry Potter test, when you literally were. Bob said, can I have a clue? You named the four houses we're supposed to be saying?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

I named their last names. I didn't give them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are you arguing with the adjudicator?

[Monet X Change]

Because that's what I did. What I want. That's supposed to be. That time you bullied.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You bullied the adjudicator. Yes, that's spell adjudicator.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Contiguous. C, O, N, oop.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're in trouble.

[Monet X Change]

T I. G, U, O, U, S. Contiguous.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Okay, Sir. Bob, you didn't. You left out a U.

[Monet X Change]

Of course you did.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

You spelled contiguous.

[Monet X Change]

Because he's a loser.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And what did this bitch spell?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

She spelled contiguous.

[Monet X Change]

Because he's. I'm a winner and this is a loser.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is. This is footage of you losing. That's Tyler Oakley.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

It's G, U, O, U S and Bob just said G, O, U, S. Contigus.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you. I was whispering and you didn't.

[Monet X Change]

Contigus.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was whispering. So you Didn't.

[Monet X Change]

You were whispering. Let's be very clear.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were not whispering. I'm very good at whispering.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

You have five minutes left to complete your task.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm very good at whispering.

[Monet X Change]

You are whispering.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm great at whispering.

[Monet X Change]

Is your task about keeping your voice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm also really good. No, it's not. I'm also a really good whisperer.

[Monet X Change]

You know, whispering is very bad for your voice, by the way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I'm a great whistler, too. I'm. I would say.

[Monet X Change]

Should we have a whistle off?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. You're gonna get scrubbed. This is ass. This is blowing whistle.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Can you do the Beyonce Dubai?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm gonna do the same with whistle.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

I think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That makes me laugh. You can't laugh.

[Monet X Change]

It was bad before the laugh happen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it start off strong. Hello.

[Monet X Change]

First of all, you've changed my key. Watch this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Part. Eight.

[Monet X Change]

I could do that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You could never.

[Monet X Change]

I could do the trills. I didn't know that part of the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

song, but what I did was so much better than what was.

[Monet X Change]

That was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you did not so much. When I was whistling.

[Monet X Change]

You started whistling the entire room laugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, when I. By the time I made it, after I warmed up, after I warmed up, the faces literally went.

[Monet X Change]

Am I lying?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They went. Now you whistle. But I don't know that.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know that part of the song.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

The Beyonce Dubai rep.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm out of breath sitting still. This is ass. Oh, my God. Let me. I'm gonna do it in a higher key, too.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, but it's not by choice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't laugh. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Or it's our fault. First of all, the mode that you're in, I can. You're in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How about this one?

[Monet X Change]

What is it? What is that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Flight of the Bumblebees.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Blight,

[Monet X Change]

Y'. All, We've been having such a great time partnering with Airbnb, and it really aligns with how we travel because we are booked, busy, and blessed. Always somewhere new. And when you're traveling like that, hotels can feel a kind of way, and the way is disconnected. Airbnb, however, lets you actually settle in. You get a kitchen, a living room, a space to breathe. It feels like you're part of the community, part of the neighborhood. You're not just visiting. I booked this gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, fierce apartment in Miami beach last summer, and it was stunning. Okay? There was sunlight everywhere, colorful details. Just giving the high end glam that a girl like me needs getting ready in that space before shows. Girl, I felt like I was living la vida Lupka. It was everything. It made me feel like I was a part of the city, not just visiting. I could spread everything out, take my time, actually enjoy the moment instead of rushing. And it just made my routine feel special and fierce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And listen, y', all, I'm a grumpy person sometimes. I don't want to see somebody at

[Monet X Change]

the front door, you know, Bob, not you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't have to ask for a

[Monet's James]

key, a new key card.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'd be grumpy. I sometimes want to go straight from the gig to the door that I'm walking in. Having access to a full home setup

[Monet's James]

just makes travel feel more comfortable and way less chaotic. Y', all, we're serious. Book your stays with Airbnb. It will change the game on how you travel on the road. It makes everything feel more grounded, more intentional. So next time you travel, don't just

[Bob the Drag Queen]

book a room, glam up your trip,

[Monet's James]

and find a place you actually want to live. Airbnb is where it's at. I'm going to be completely honest with y', all, okay? I am not organized enough to be a Sunday meal prep person. I have tried.

[Monet X Change]

You're not. I can confirm you're not.

[Monet's James]

Okay, I'm already saying it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't need you to say it. Thank you so much.

[Monet's James]

I have tried. It's not in my DNA. But I will say this. With Home Chef, my meals are on point every single time without me even having to map out my entire life. The dishes are wildly impressive, but they are so easy to make. I completely count on my Home Chef weekly delivery to stock my fridge and take care of meals planning for me. I've not only saved an incredible amount of money, but I've also drastically reduced my dishes and clean up at the end of the night. And y', all, listen, I do not like going to the grocery store. It gives me genuine anxiety. But I'll tell you this. I recently made their garlic butter shrimp scampi.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Didn't go to the.

[Monet's James]

Didn't go to the grocery store once. And it felt like something I order at, like, a restaurant, except it took me no time at all. Home Chef makes cooking simple, fresh food delivered, easy recipes to follow, and meals that actually taste great. There are no long shopping lists, no complicated preps, and best of all, it's easy cleanup.

[Monet X Change]

The tea about Home Chef is that it's really good for busy schedules. Even though I'm way busier than Bob, you know, I still recognize that he needs a quick 30 minute meal sometimes. And even. And they're oven ready trays, girl. You can slide them into the oven or even a quick microwave lunch between meetings. Home Chef has you covered, and it's definitely not a one size fits all. Home chef has over 30 meal options each week with choices for different tastes and dietary needs. And people really, really, really love it. I love it, y'.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All.

[Monet X Change]

Home Chef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste, and recipe ease. Monet can confirm Bob loves it. Also, customers consistently say they spend less time planning, shopping, and prepping meals. Plus, it's generally affordable. Home Chef customers save an average of 86 bucks per month on groceries. That's like three trips to the movies.

[Monet's James]

And not only that, Monet is very jealous now because I'm a better cook than her, and it's actually chapping her ass.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Monet's James]

Home Chef completely takes the stress out of your week with convenient weekly deliveries that keep your fridge stocked and eliminate meal planning and grocery runs. That's my. I hate going to the grocery store.

[Monet X Change]

You've said it 19 times. We. We know.

[Monet's James]

I want to make sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet's James]

It makes it easy to eat well, save time, and enjoy quick and delicious meals even on your busiest days. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free desserts for life. Go to homechef.com rivalry that's home chef.com rivalry for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.com rivalry must be an active subscriber to receive free desserts.

[Monet X Change]

Five minutes is up. You did not do your task.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did do my task.

[Monet X Change]

What was your task?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know what your task was. First of all, what do you think my task was?

[Monet X Change]

I think yours was to try to convince me of something.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mm. Mm.

[Monet X Change]

No. What was it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was not fair. I knew what your task. My task was part of your task, which is what? You're trying to gaslight me. But I could not. I could not let you get my goat, honey. I had to stay very calm and

[Monet X Change]

serene, and we can let the audience

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

decide how well you do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be fair, Right in the beginning, I was like, bitch. And I was like, wait a minute.

[Monet X Change]

I literally made you. I literally bullied you into a whistling contest.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

First of all, I love whistling. Whistling. I really think that I could be a world champion whistler.

[Monet X Change]

Well, what I'm hearing when you whistle is that you have a very naturally fast. You can, like, do a fast vibrato, which is good for riffs. Did you know that people dejuan And I have this theory that everyone who is a good riffer has a fast vibrato. And it's pretty. It's pretty true. Like, I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Does Mariah care of a fast Roboto? Because she's a great riffer.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Marcus has a fast sobrato.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Look at what song does she fastest.

[Monet X Change]

Like, look. Look at who? Jennifer Hudson does not have a fast sobrato.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Drag her.

[Monet X Change]

But she's. She's on a riff. Jennifer hasn't just said power.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying. But just tell her. She watches. Can you call her better you just

[Monet X Change]

have Duran on the podcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Duran. Bernard. I love Duran. Bernard.

[Monet X Change]

I love Duran. He's live in la. He doesn't live in LA anymore, I don't think. But I would love to have Duran.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Baron lived in New York?

[Monet X Change]

No, he was in LA for a long time, then he moved.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, he used to sing with Erykah Badu.

[Monet X Change]

He was a backup singer.

[Monet's James]

Badu.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have a favorite Badu song?

[Monet X Change]

My favorite one, Bag Lady. It's not my favorite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's such a great song.

[Monet X Change]

It's a great song.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is there a lyric you like particularly?

[Monet X Change]

Bag lady, look how much you wear.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't think you like the song at all. You gon miss your bus. You can't hurry up cause you got too much stuff. My favorite line is, when they see you coming, Niggas take off running from you. Is true. Oh, yes, they. She does not seem like she's from Texas.

[Monet X Change]

She doesn't give. Texas. Is she from Texas?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's from Texas.

[Monet X Change]

She feels very Brooklyn. Yeah, very Brooklyn, very new.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But she doesn't give off Texas vibes at all. Nothing about her seems Texas to me. Lizzo, Texas. Beyonce. Texas.

[Monet X Change]

Lizzo from Texas. Minneapolis.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was raised in Texas. She's from Chicago. Did you watch the episode? She's born in Chicago, raised in Texas.

[Monet X Change]

Did she say that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was on a podcast once called Sleeping Rivalry.

[Monet X Change]

I thought she was saying she was. Then when did she live in Minneapolis?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because she's allowed.

[Monet X Change]

No, but she lived there for like a long. Like a long time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Chicago.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think that's right, babe.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where was Lizzo born? I'm pretty sure then she moved to Texas from Chicago or somewhere in Illinois. Oh, Michigan. Neither one of us is right. We were both wrong.

[Monet X Change]

I swore.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you swore too. Well.

[Monet X Change]

But she. Can you look to herself from Lizzo. Minneapolis. She had like a long set in Minneapolis. She'd like to. This is. I'm not making that up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Then we gotta look up Lizzo. Chicago.

[Monet X Change]

She moved to Minneapolis where she began her choreography. Yeah, because that's what she.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Check out now. Check out.

[Monet X Change]

That's where she met John Mark.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that's right. She did sort of John Mark. What is it?

[Monet X Change]

She was scheduled to perform.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So. See, like I said. Like I said, Lizzo was once scheduled to perform in Chicago.

[Monet X Change]

No, Lizzo did not live in Chicago. No, she. Her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Since her soul gave Chicago.

[Monet X Change]

What else you wanna be wrong about today?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Her vibe gave like she gave Chirac.

[Monet X Change]

My question is, do you listen to the episode?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She gave Chirac.

[Monet X Change]

Do you listen to the episode?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But she's from Texas. She proudly claims Texas.

[Monet X Change]

She does claim Texas, which. She famously said that Texas is the South.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She famously said that Texas was in the south. And then she said. So she. I guess Texas is a flip state. I guess Texas is now a swing state.

[Monet X Change]

Do you think in our lifetime we will ever see Texas be blue? No. You don't think on a lifetime?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you know that? Lord. Lori Chavez. The. What's the last name? Lori Chavez. The. The something. Lori Chavez. Durham Duramer. She. She. She just stepped down.

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because she was allegedly her security detail drinking on the job and using taxpayer money to go to Las Vegas.

[Monet X Change]

Same.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are three women who've now been kicked out of their positions. Pam Bondi and Lori Derimer. Lori Chavez.

[Monet X Change]

But there's none of the men, which is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would you fuck your security detail if he was hot? You can't do that.

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why can't you fuck your employee?

[Monet X Change]

If he wanted to. He was off the clock. It could be depressed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you don't need to be doing this. Don't fuck your security detail with a back. With a.

[Monet X Change]

What was it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With a security.

[Monet X Change]

With a backup dancer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With a backup dancer.

[Monet X Change]

They can't even get you backstage.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you gonna see the new screen?

[Monet X Change]

Of course. Scary Movie means scary movie. Yeah, of course I'm going to. Do we think it's going to be good, though? I'm nervous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, the truth is there are movies and TV shows that I need to go back and watch. And I don't know if they actually withstand the test of time or if I just like the movies. Like, I don't know if Scary Movie is actually a good movie or if I was young and I just liked it at the time.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'm gonna lean on the side of it. I think it was a good movie. I think the first two were good. And then I think I acknowledged that the rest of them were not great. But then there was a whole thing like Dimension or whatever. The company that did it, they tried to like. They basically bought the movies from the Wayne brothers, and the Wayne brothers didn't have as much input that they did in the ones after two, so that's why the quality kind of went down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am a big fan of the Wayans.

[Monet X Change]

Love them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I am a big fan of Anna Faris.

[Monet X Change]

You love her And Regina.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Regina King. George Hall.

[Monet X Change]

Hall.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

King George Hall. Regina King is Boondocks. Regina hall is Mean Girls. And Regina George is Mean Girls. And Regina hall is Scary Regina George. Bob, that is insane. No, Regina King. Regina King is Boondocks. Regina George is Mean Girls. Regina Hall. Regina George is Rachel McAdams is a scary movie. You're having a day and girls Trip. Yeah. Which girl? I have a trauma with Girls Trip.

[Monet X Change]

Why? What do you have trauma with Girls Trip.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When girls Trip came out, there was a white girls trip.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was in the White Girls.

[Monet X Change]

The white girls trip.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it was really bad.

[Monet X Change]

I. I liked that movie, which I only went to go see because you were in it, by the way, but I ended up really liking, which, by the way, you're wearing my outfit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's called Rough Night.

[Monet X Change]

Rough Night. You're wearing my outfit. You want to say thank you? You never said thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not true.

[Monet X Change]

You did not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not.

[Monet X Change]

I've been waiting for this. Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The burden of proof is on you.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The burden of proof is on you.

[Monet X Change]

Well, how can I prove something you never did?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The burden of proof is I'm proof

[Monet X Change]

that you never did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you don't get to make a claim. And then now I have to prove something. That's crazy. That's not how the court of law works.

[Monet X Change]

But you never apologize, so how do we.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do apologize? I've apologized to you. Unresponsive.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, we never apologize. You never. Sorry. You never thanked me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So which one is it? Apologize or is banking?

[Monet X Change]

Well, you don't apologize.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I've apologized to you on this podcast once, and I got one idea, and I didn't want it too little too late. Too. A little too late.

[Monet X Change]

But the outfit looks very nice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In fact, I bet a dollar I can. You know, I don't like looking through my phone on the pod, but because our Facebook. Because Facebook messages are forever. I can probably find the. The message where I actually ask you if I could borrow it.

[Monet X Change]

So it wasn't a Facebook message. It was a phone call.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't Remember? No, it was definitely. I distinctively remember this Swim. Wait, Fire Island. Oh, this is.

[Monet X Change]

What are you. We should probably. These are very nice shoes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. They're just a couple. Little low Fianna work.

[Monet X Change]

Do you want to say that? Do you want to admit that you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fire Island.

[Monet X Change]

This is going to take you too long. No, this is ridiculous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're doing this because you're afraid that I'm going to find it.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not. But we are on a podcast, Mary.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're afraid that I'm going to find it. Oh, thank you.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I found it.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I found it.

[Monet X Change]

Let me see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I borrow your yellow swimwear? This one or this one? The one. Fry island with the cape. Yeah, I got no image. Or this one. That's the one. Of course, there's a little crazy glue mark on it, but you can't really see it. You look bare legged. I am. Ugh. What?

[Monet X Change]

Wait, who's. What did you say I'm bare legged?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said, you look bare legged. You said, I am. And then you said, ugh.

[Monet X Change]

Let me see. Can I see this? Ugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You look bare legged. I am. Ugh.

[Monet X Change]

No, that was Bob. That is a whole nother day. That's a whole nother. So you never said, thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not done. You said, ugh. I said, what? And then you sent me a picture of someone. And then I said, big fat dick.

[Monet X Change]

This is why we can't reveal these when we die. The accounts have to be burned.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I said, did you send the suit over? You said, yes.

[Monet X Change]

Let me see. I want to see all this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I said, thank you.

[Monet X Change]

Let me see. Let me see this. I don't believe you. I don't believe an ounce of what you just said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Then I said, thank you.

[Monet X Change]

So let me see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I said, I lost it. And then I said, you're my best friend. You did buy that, though.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy. You found that conversation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You've done the thank you, the thank yous on the podcast before. All you have to do is type in thank you and it'll show every. Every thank you we've ever. We've ever had. This one.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

What about I'm sorry, this is Caldwell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All the. Okay. Every thank you. Okay. I said, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And then Monet said, no thanks. I said, thank you. I said, thank you. And then you said, the dress was stunning. Can't thank you enough.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

I guess it's for sorry now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sorry.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm sorry. Or just sorry.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Just sorry. Because it'll probably ball similar ones.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, when you call them Monet sorry as hell. Okay, here we go. Sorry. Okay. This is June 5, 2019. Monet said. Sorry. Monet said. This week's Monet talk goes out to someone who literally can't do a single interview without mentioning my existence. She who shall not be named, Ms. Shmia Schmun.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Gia Khan.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then at the point where it says sorry, it says. How about your. Can I read this?

[Monet X Change]

What is it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is your monologue you're gonna do for Gia Gunn.

[Monet X Change]

Oh my God, yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This week's. This week one a talk goes out to someone who literally can't do a single interview without mentioning my existence. She who shall not be named Ms. Shmia Shmun. Dear Shmia, why are you so obsessed with me? Is it because I successfully won a TV franchise that you've attempted to compete in twice but fell miserably both times? Is it because. Is it because I need a second thing here? Or is it because you only claim. Your only claim to fame is having a wonky fucking eyelash? You know what? I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take a minute to celebrate our similarities, shall we? I was on the tenth season of RuPaul's Drag Race. You placed tenth on your season of Drag Race. I'm on the third episode of my very own talk show. You were sitting home on the third episode of a TV show. You were a Chile. You were on Chilean show called the Switch. I like playing the Switch while eating Chilean. Listen, instead of worrying about my terrible looks, how about you concern yourself with your counterfeit activism? Sorry, that's a pretty big word there. Let me define it for you. Activism, the action of using vigorous campaigning to bring about positive political or social change. You hear that, girl? Positive. Positive change is something certainly not likening transitioning to castration, mental instability or psychosis. In short, check yourself before you say yourself ya self. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Miss Thing. Cuz unlike you, this gun is fully loaded. And then I said. And then I said, leave out the part about her transition. Then you. Oh my God. And I think that you were saying that she. Then you were like, no, cuz she said something about transition being castration or something.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, she said that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She said about her transition. It's about what she called Carmen. Cuz she said to Carmen, maybe if you decided to castrate yourself, you wouldn't be so mentally unstable and psychotic.

[Monet X Change]

Oh my God, I forgot that that's

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the first sorrow you ever sent me.

[Monet X Change]

So when I was on Exchanger, I was so mad about the Gia Gun thing. I was like, I want to do a little section of unexchanger code.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was the most themed files right there. Huh?

[Monet X Change]

The most themed files.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's the most themed files. This is why our files need to

[Monet X Change]

be burned when we die. There used to be a kill switch on all of our files.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If I look up the word ugly in our chat.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God, don't do that. What do you think will be in there? I know exactly who's gonna come in there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who?

[Monet X Change]

Bleep this name out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, actually, there's only one ugly in our whole thing.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it just says. It's just you sending. Oh, can I say what it is? Well, let me see what it is. I'll say it. They can bleep it if you want to bleep it. It is Orlando blooms a nude. And then you sent it to me. You said, now that's an ugly dick.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

What about busted?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now that's an ugly dick. Busted for busted is me. It just said, so me and Monet are texting. I'm mad because there is a Runway that we ended up not using that I would have totally worn. And then I said, valentina busted out some old work the world outfits.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Oh, what about dick?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that's gonna be okay.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God. What? We can't read. See, I will say the search feature on your phone is so good. The search. The search feature on Apple phones is so bad. It is. It's awful.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This. No, we can't.

[Monet X Change]

This is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, yeah, we can't. We can't do that.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

He needs to read something.

[Monet X Change]

Now do you read one of yours?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't read anything I said. Read what she said.

[Monet X Change]

Don't read what I said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Here's me saying it was a big dick.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was like the cartoon version of John. Okay, we gotta stop. We gotta stop the sip.

[Monet X Change]

Steed files. We each have something like that in the Patreon, and the comments were like, y' all cannot be calling stuff the Sievstein files.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I love putting ST Files.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Everyone's so fans. Jay was the one who named that episode, and I was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I think I called it the Sipstein files in the episode. I love saying blankstein Files release two things that happen, probably because whenever anything's expensive, I always say, open the straight of her mousse. I say it every single. Open the straight of her. Oh. Oh. If a wig. Oh, my God. Open the straight of her mousse. And then if anyone has anything that like is a secret to them, I will say release the blank Stein files. The most files, the Bobstein files, the Sipstein files, the the Pit stain Fil.

[Monet X Change]

Look, we have all been there, okay? Dealing with traditional banks that feel like they're actively rooting against you with monthly maintenance fees and those ridiculous charges that get your own money out of the ATM is crazy. It is exhausting. That's why I'm so hyped to tell y' all about Chime. They are completely changing the game with fee free banking that is actually built for you. Not the 1%. Why should you have to pay just to access your own hard earned cash when it's thousands of dollars and fee free ATMs available? Why Chime is officially America's number one choice for banking. And honestly, my younger self would have loved would have benefited so much from this. When you set up direct deposit, you unlock the most rewarding way to bank. We're talking about up to $1,150 in annual rewards completely fee free. Stunning.

[Monet's James]

Now growing up wealthy, money doesn't know about this, but I do know about this y'.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All.

[Monet's James]

The perks are actually stacked. You get 5% cash back on your Chime card in a category you actually gas or groceries. Plus your saving grows way faster with a 3.75% APY that is nine times higher than the national average. They even have a premium travel perks like airport lounge Access and a 247 travel concierge included.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

With your time card.

[Monet's James]

We can all live like Monet, honey. And if you're in a pinch before payday, Chime has you covered. You can get up to $500 on your pay when you say so with my pay. And they have spot me which let you overdraft up to $200 fee free. No more insufficient funds panic. I've been there. I have been. I once overdrafted on at the mall when I was 19 and I'm still paid for it to this day. They're even rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. So you're talking real humans 24 7. If you need help, you're not just switching banks. You're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking with a Chime checking account.

[Monet X Change]

Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com rivalry. That's chime.com rivalry. It only takes a few minutes to sign up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Live like Monet, honey.

[Ad Sponsor Voice]

Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services from MyPay and Chimecard provided by Chimes Bank Partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield on cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on a J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, my pay Spot me and travel Perks, go to chime.comdisclosures

[Monet's James]

Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University Ever

[Bob the Drag Queen]

catch yourself thinking, what if I could

[Monet's James]

go after what I actually want and really make a difference? Well baby, you're not alone. And that's exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University for over Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you want and to make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to WaldenU.edu and take that first step. Walden University Set a Course for Change Certified to Operate by Chef this message

[Monet X Change]

is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University Set a Course for Change. Want to make real change in your life, career and community? At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get to W with online programs designed for working professionals. You'll gain hands on skills to take on real world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step. Visit waldenu. Edu Walden University Set a Course for Change Certified to operate by Chev

[Monet's James]

okay, let's get real for a second. You know that voice inside your head that's like, what if I'm secretly a bad person? Or why did I just have that super disturbing thought? It's not just you, baby. We all get unwanted thoughts like this sometimes. But. But if those thoughts feel stuck, cause you intense distress, or you spend hours spiraling googling things, asking your friends for the millionth time, if you're a good person, yeah, you might be dealing with more than just overthinking. It could actually be ocd. And if you're thinking no, OCD is about being super organized.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, no, no no no no.

[Monet's James]

The stereotypes have it all wrong. Actually, OCD is being terrorized by unwanted thoughts that feel urgent and real and doing whatever you can to make the distress from those thoughts go away. Like constantly asking for reassurance, replaying thoughts

[Bob the Drag Queen]

over and over to try to solve

[Monet's James]

them or get rid of them somehow. But the more attention you Give OCD thoughts, the stronger they get. That's what makes OCD so debilitating. But it's also totally treatable when you give it the right kind of help.

[Monet X Change]

Not all therapy works for all conditions. OCD needs a specialized type of therapy called Exposure and Response Prevention, or erp. Not regular talk therapy, because that can make it worse. That's where no CD comes in. They're literally the world's leading provider of OCD treatment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Treatment.

[Monet X Change]

NOCD therapists specialize in treating OCD with ERP therapy, and they're trained by experts so they actually know what they're doing and how to help. Therapy with NOCD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and includes support between sessions. So you're not facing this alone. So if you've been struggling, don't wait. Go to nocd.com to book a free call and learn how they can help. That's nocd.com. time to take your power back.

[Monet's James]

I gotta tell you guys, I actually have a friend who struggles with ocd, and he used ERP therapy, and he was like, the way it changed my life has been staggering. So give it a shot.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you were you. Your episode with Bianca was so funny.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you.

[Monet X Change]

But my favorite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I don't want to hear

[Monet X Change]

my favorite joke of the night.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, what?

[Monet X Change]

The pork loin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, that was very funny. That was very, very funny.

[Monet X Change]

I had a pork loin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ger, Jaloins. Bible's cunning Hydra pork loins. Bob was kind of. It was very funny. What was really upsetting was my wig started sliding back.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. I watched the episode, and I did

[Bob the Drag Queen]

not notice it because it's subtle, but I will say it's like slowly sliding back, and then out of nowhere, it is like, five inches forward again, which is really irritating.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't notice it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So here I think we're in good shape. We're at the top of the episode. My wig is in good shape. My wig is in good shape. That's the reset. You got to go back. That's the reset. You'll see there's a cut where my wig slides, like, basically like an inch and a half forward. And this has happened before. This happened to me on fucking. This happened to me twice. Once on a movie called the Coco Fondue show that. A short film that I did with Ginger Minj called the Coco Fondue Show. And then once on fucking. What's that Fucking Lucifer.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Lucifer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, my wig is doing that Cha cha. So I wanted to come and say, bob's wig is so far back. Is critiquing season 13. I was like, wow, y' all got hit with little jokey jokes.

[Monet X Change]

Did you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you.

[Monet X Change]

Here it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Far back, far forward.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So it was like.

[Monet X Change]

Did you and Bianca coordinate the colors?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. Well, she was like, we should wear leopard print. So I sent her this leopard print, and then she showed up in that, which was not leopard print. But I was like, girl, you said leopard. These are polka dots. She goes, wow, the colors match.

[Monet X Change]

I will say your voice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know.

[Monet X Change]

I always clear my throat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it's bad for you to clear your throat.

[Monet X Change]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm concerned about you. You know, you're on tour.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but it's not even that, girl. I have a lot of singing to do. I have to go to. I'm doing this show in Germany, so I'm really trying to get myself together.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you suck dick when you're supposed to be clear throat?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'm not like, you know, when you suck dick, it's not touching your vocal cords. Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it touches your throat, though, if

[Monet X Change]

it's not your vocal cords.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but you. You can do damage to your throat

[Monet X Change]

still if I get a disease down there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you're not touching your vocal cords. That's. That's why you don't get. That's why you got one good Review in. In 12 years ears. Because you're not touching your vocal cords.

[Monet X Change]

Whereby, honey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bruised, battered and worn down, broken down and tired. You're saying what I know you like. You say something, and I try to protect your voice. And then you talk about your show in Germany. I don't speak any German, but I

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

can if you like.

[Monet X Change]

Like. I am.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When she's writing.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you see, when she's on this

[Bob the Drag Queen]

stage, she hit the pen.

[Monet X Change]

Did you see? So all the. So all the girls went to the Devil w Prada premiere. Yeah, I saw Shay up in there and Brooklyn Heights. I was supposed to go, but I was like, I don't live in New York. And then you see when Gaga's coming off the stage, she's coming off the stage and she sees Brooklyn. She's like. She goes over. She gives Brooklyn the kiss.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She knows her. Or she's like a queen maybe.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was she was Brooklyn in her Meryl Streep drag. Cause, you know, she does Meryl Streep drag.

[Monet X Change]

She had on a white. A short, white wig, but it wasn't Meryl Streep. You know what I mean? It was a short white wig, though. It looked really fun. Shay and her story said that the movie is really good, so maybe it's fierce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will say, sometimes you see a movie at a premiere and it's so fun because of the energy. Go back and watching, you're like, I don't think this was a very good movie. You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

Name them. Which one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wicked 2 was really fun in the moment. Then I went back and watched. Like, I actually don't think Wicked 2 holds up that well as a good movie. But when I went through, I was like, my God, this is so fun and so good.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I couldn't really watch with a critical

[Monet X Change]

eye because you were. Because you. You were just excited to be there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There was a lot of adrenaline and the witches were there and Schwartz was there and the guy who directed it was there. What's his name? John.

[Monet X Change]

John Chu.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

John Chu.

[Monet X Change]

You know, I was saying that I'm like, we are in a lot. Like, it's really cool, John.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, we'.

[Monet X Change]

It's really cool to see so many composers still alive. Like Andrew. Andrew Lloyd Webber, Stephen Schwartz, Sonic. Still alive.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why would they be alive?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Sleeping Sondheim is his pass away.

[Monet X Change]

He's passed away. But you think back to, like, you know, I wish I could be in a time alone, like Bach and Beethoven and, like, all these, like, composers. I would love to like them going to premieres and stuff. I think that's so true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's always been lots of composers alive.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Can you tell me about more about you and Bach hanging out? Out?

[Monet X Change]

I just, like, it would be so cool. Like, I'll just watch him, like, on his little. On his, like, little harpsichord writing little diddies.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

And what would you ask him?

[Monet X Change]

I feel like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So can we.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Can we role play right now?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bob is me, Johan Sebastian Bach.

[Monet X Change]

How you doing, girl? Okay, so when do you do these ostenatos?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, like, I loved an asanada.

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How. When I make an astanada, first I drink a little bit of lager, and then I do go a little farther and I talk to my mother. And then, of course, I write a little harder. And then, of course, I, you know, watch RuPaul's Drag Race Halabaja. And this promotes the astronaut.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, well, you. You've always been one for words. The text. How do you arrive at the text?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't write the words. You know, I don't write the words.

[Monet X Change]

You have sometimes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I don't write them. I just do what, the music? I don't know. Why? I'm a French now, but Unc. Backing to my German accent. I don't do lyrics. I am mostly. I am mostly doing just the music. Nice try though.

[Monet X Change]

Now is the religion thing is that. Are you. Do you just feel compelled to be religious with all. With all this sacred text or do you really love the Lord?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Reminder, I don't do lyrics. I'm making the music and the other people are putting the things into the music. You keep trying to tricking me, but it's not going to work.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you wrote a lot of masses, so. So I would assume there's some religious inspiration or you just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but the word text is not a great enough word for this. I don't write masses. What I am writing is classical music. Broke.

[Monet X Change]

But there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm talking about how you look baroque. Yeah, you look broke baroque.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Can you tell me what an ostenata is?

[Monet X Change]

A sonata?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

An Astanato. Oh, common mistake. You are making a very common mistake. Yeah, well, obviously they are still.

[Monet X Change]

Oops.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My microwave. It's better go check my microwave. As you know, the Astanada is the collection of sounds. It is notes on the paper and of course it is quite melodic and the way it sounds is great. This is correct. Yes.

[Monet X Change]

In the world it can be, of course, the Astanas.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The music on the paper. Yes, yes, yes.

[Monet X Change]

Very, very superficial surface definition there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is the beginning of the Astana. We've not done as deeper diving as you've done yet.

[Monet X Change]

We have AI so we can just. AI does everything now. AI.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ooh, yeah.

[Monet's James]

What's that?

[Monet X Change]

AI Is this really this new technology that's writing a lot of. Of people's music for them? People who are lazy, people who need a lot of help and they don't really have the tools to do it, so they ask a computer. Do you know what a computer is?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We have computers.

[Monet X Change]

You do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, we having computers, of course.

[Monet X Change]

What brand do you use?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hipaa. Hyson. The Hip of a Hyson is one of the best computers. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. And what do you do with your computer?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't use.

[Monet X Change]

You don't use.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't use the AI of my time.

[Monet X Change]

Okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are the AI it's for the lazy.

[Monet X Change]

Who's your biggest competition and why should they go home?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, well, obviously Ludovic van Beethoven, who is the. Don't cut me off. Don't you ever cut me off. Of course, we are not the same age. I am a little bit older than Ludwig. He's not even alive yet. But I can see down the Line. Ludwig van Beethoven will be very, very influenced by my music.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Well, you have a good day. It's very nice to meet you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Thank you. Yeah, they're pretty good, though. A little bit like 100 years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just said that we weren't alive at the same time.

[Monet X Change]

Maybe like 60 years. 70 years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, is it 160?

[Monet X Change]

Wait, Jacob, can you look up? I think bach died in 16.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Do you want to guess first?

[Monet X Change]

I'm going to say 6 and 80s. 17, 50. You're 100 years off him. Him and Beethoven were alive at the same time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were they? And you tried to clown me.

[Monet X Change]

Beethoven died around the same time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What you about to eat?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

No, he died 100 years after that.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, sorry. I'm 100 years off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just a century.

[Monet X Change]

1700s. Classical was 1800s. Romantic was like 18 into 19. And then we have cooker modern.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I ate with my baroque.

[Monet X Change]

Baroque. Yeah, the baroque was good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Is it true? Beach on who was gay?

[Monet X Change]

Allegedly. There's no like, like, like empirical evidence that he was, but they assumed that he was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was dramatic, I'll tell you that. Over the top for me, honey. Are you familiar with. With the Trans Siberian orchestras Beethoven show? No, it's really. I mean, I've never seen it, but I've listened to it. It's like they do a whole exploration of Beethoven and they tell a story of him out in the rain and getting pneumonia and slamming. Putting his ear down and putting the thing up to the end. It's basically about Beethoven losing his hearing over the course of his life, but still being obsessed with music.

[Monet X Change]

How tragic is that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think you die for pneumonia, I wanna say.

[Monet X Change]

How tragic is it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can we clarify that?

[Monet X Change]

I'm pretty sure you are such a prolific musician and you lose your hearing. That is so sad. I can't think of something sad matter.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, liver failure.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, people back then, people. People buying. Dying. People dying of the common cold.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe it was him.

[Monet X Change]

People dying of the common cold.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I mean, well, the. The immune system obviously were not great back then. Yeah, clearly. You know, I think. I think that Houdini died from getting punched in the stomach and like had like some sort of liver issue.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Houdini to stunt on stage where he would like, have the biggest male audience punch him in the stomach. The stomach. And then he got punched in the stomach and he died from failure. Like some sort of internal injury from a big man punching him in the stomach.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Okay. So he had like a really intense ab workout routine and had some like, weird thing where he could, like, would constrict his stomach muscles in a specific way. And then he would be like, the biggest guy can come up and punch me in the stomach.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But he didn't quite get flexed in time.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

He wasn't. He was like, okay, the biggest guy can punch me in the stomach. But he. He didn't prepare himself. Himself, and the guy punched him in the stomach before he could do per. He talked when he compared himself, and then he got, like, internal breathing hair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, that's. Well, that's the issue. A lot of times when you. I. I did a very short stint as a magician, and when you're a magician, people just want to catch you up. But, like, when it comes to punching me, wait till I'm ready. I mean, I imagine maybe Houdini was in the middle of a speech. He's like, I'm gonna. And then a guy just gave him a gut check kind of.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then. And then killed him.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Isn't that insane?

[Monet X Change]

I mean, but magic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that magic? I have a theory that, like, back in the day, these magicians and these witches were just doing medicine.

[Monet X Change]

Medicine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They were just doing medicine.

[Monet X Change]

What medicine was Houdini doing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, back in the day, okay.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Specifically, a lot of the women, abortions were, like, really hard to come by and very taboo. So, like, the women who performed abortions were generally outcast. But, like, they were. It was still a service they provided. So, like, if you need an abortion, you would go to a witch because she was just, like, a woman who could provide abortions. But, like, that was very taboo. So, like, a lot of. Yeah, there are a lot of medicine people, like, specifically abortion of one of the ones that was associated with witches.

[Monet X Change]

I'm so annoyed that magic isn't real.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It kind of is, though.

[Monet X Change]

No, like. Like. Like Sabrina magic, like, this point at you and you. I can zap you over here. I want that magic to be real, but it kind of is how, like, like, teleportation is not a thing. Thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It kind of is how. It's like when you think about, like, television or, like, sending images, you know, you may not be sending the physical matter, but you are sending the vision, the image over. That would have been witchcraft back in the day.

[Monet X Change]

That would have been.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That would have been. You'd have been sent to the gulag.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I want magic. Magic. I want this and tame my entire outfit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So what if we can find a way to do that, but it's through technology. Would you not accept it as much magic?

[Monet X Change]

I just. I Mean, that probably will exist. Not in my lifetime, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So what if. What if I have you in a dress that is white, and then I have something that I hit your dress with and it turns blue? Will you. When does it become magic?

[Monet X Change]

When. When I can sit here and I can point. There can be a. A sparkly little colored thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can zaps come out of your finger?

[Monet X Change]

You can what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We can have sparkles come out of your finger. We certainly better wrap my body.

[Monet X Change]

Go around my body. And it's. And I have a new alpha.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They can probably do that part, but we can get. They sell fireballs that shoot out of your finger.

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't want to fire. What's this? Didn't I set my ass on fire?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm saying it's magic.

[Monet X Change]

I don't want.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Kane did it on WWF when I was a kid. Kane pointed at the undertaker and he went. And then a fireball shot out of his hand.

[Monet X Change]

To be fair, that's how. That's how Caroline Ray's character. No, Hilda. That's how Hilda's magic was. Hers was like a. It was a puff of smoke, but. Which is weird. Hers was that. But Sabrina Zelda's was the. Was like the. The colorful palette thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If I could turn myself blue, is that magic?

[Monet X Change]

How you doing it, though?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

By thinking. If.

[Monet X Change]

Thinking.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think blue when I turn blue. Is that magic? That's the question.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So what if I can think blue and I turn blue? That's not powers.

[Monet X Change]

You mean like, what, your entire. Like, you're like. You look like skin like. You look like Mystique or Nightcrawler.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, if my skin can turn blue by thinking it. By thinking it.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, that would be magical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, so there are animals that can turn themselves different colors. Are they magic? But I'm saying, when does a magic.

[Monet X Change]

When does it become magic, human?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

It's when there's a scientific explanation behind it.

[Monet X Change]

Scientific? Magic is scientific?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

No, no. The difference between magic and, like, if you turn your skin blue and there's no explanation and, like, the cells aren't changing, you're just randomly becoming blue. That's magic.

[Monet X Change]

A chameleon? Yeah, that's a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I. But I feel like if you certain mutants and X men, their powers are explained through. Through science. So are they not magical now?

[Monet X Change]

No, they're not. No, those are genetic mutations in the DNA.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They have powers, though.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, but not all of them have that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not all of them have powers. I mean, some of them aren't even mutants. Juggernaut's not Even.

[Monet X Change]

But. But they're ones that have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Juggernaut is magic.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Juggernaut is a mutant.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Juggernaut's not a mutant.

[Monet X Change]

He is a mutant.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Google it. Juggernaut is magic. He is magical.

[Monet X Change]

Is he made in alive?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Juggernaut is magic. No, Juggernaut is not a mutant. Oh.

[Monet X Change]

His powers are magical. Derived from the Crimson Gem.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was delicious. Both of you.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you know what? So he's not. So he. So in the world of mutants and things, he is not a mu. He's not a music. He is a magical creature.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, there you go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I get. But, but. But he still has powers. So I'm saying like Storm, her lightning is through powers through some genetic mutation. Whereas Juggernaut, his is just literally coming from a creature from a different dimension who gives him magical powers.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah. From the Crimson Gem of Sidorak.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So would you settle for powers that are a mutation?

[Monet X Change]

Would I settle for powers that are a mutation?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Ad Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

It depends on what they are. If I have storm power. Bitch. That's pretty magical.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So of all the powers you're choosing, you just want to change your outfit?

[Monet X Change]

No, that's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's where you started at.

[Monet X Change]

That's where we started at. But then now the conversation has shifted.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is the power you want you. And you only get one. There's no combo packs. Like, if you fly, you can't use your. You can't have laser vision. If you can do lightning, you can't control the wind. You get one power and you can't say I control everything. No, I change matter.

[Monet X Change]

We do this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm asking you what's. You know, we've done the thing where randomized, but.

[Monet X Change]

No, we've done this before. You realize it does this before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is the power? We've done this.

[Monet X Change]

We've had this. What is the power before?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

The power I would want. I would want the power of. Of.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I got to think.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. I get one power.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would you want to be super smart? Like, you don't watch the boys.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would you want to be like sister Sage?

[Monet X Change]

But her. She's not super smart.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Her thing is, she's the smartest person in the world.

[Monet X Change]

That's not. That's not her power.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, she is the smartest person in the world. It is.

[Monet X Change]

She's. She's super smart.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She is the smartest person in the world.

[Monet X Change]

But isn't it about her being able to con? There's a thing to it that she can convince people of Stuff, and that's

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

just because she's a crybaby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Smart. She is the smartest person in the world, so she.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

She knows how to manipulate people because she is always 10 times the 10 steps to have the Ed Upper Betty.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because she is so smart.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Would you want that power?

[Monet X Change]

That's a good one. But I don't know. I don't think I want that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want to be super smart. But also, she seems depressed, too.

[Monet X Change]

I would like to. I would like the ability to. To gain infinite knowledge. Like, because I think, like, doing that. I can do a lot of things with that. Like, whether it be, like, finances or building things. Like, if I had the ability to learn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What if you had to do it? Like, what's his name From. From Heroes.

[Monet X Change]

Which one? Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Zachary Quinto.

[Monet X Change]

Sila. Cut off the head, like, give people's brains.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. It's like I can. I can know everything Kane knows about cameras, but I do have to kill him. Cut his head open. Yeah, but then you could also find someone who knows how to cut people's heads open without killing them. Well, you have to find someone who knows how to do that, though.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then you don't have to kill everyone, but you do have to invade their brains.

[Monet X Change]

What power would you want?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mind control scans? Yeah, it does scam.

[Monet X Change]

You want to be. You want to be a Professor Xavier? He's mind control. I mean, but do you want his. Like, he's like. Like, how deep. My. How deep of mind control do you want? Like, his mind control is so deep he can manipulate anything. Or do you just want to just make people do what with their. With. With their bodies?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want the good one.

[Monet X Change]

The one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want the bullshit one or you want to just make. Make someone's finger switch? I want the good one. What kind of question is that?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know, but I think that shows us how. How devious you are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not devious. We all know this about me. It's that time of year again.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, hold on.

[Monet X Change]

If you were a bender. Fire, water, earth or air. Which one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which one? So I don't watch this show, but I think I can help. Understand, they control these elements.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fire, earth, air, or water. Or water. Now, to be clear, it has to be there. I can't conjure the water.

[Monet X Change]

No, it has to be there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have to find the water.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yes. Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait. What do you. I want the real answer.

[Monet X Change]

Well, if you think about it, water's everywhere. The stronger you Get. You can manipulate it like later on in the series. You're not gonna watch it. Spoiler alert.

[Monet's James]

Whoa.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're gonna watch it.

[Monet X Change]

Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean. Wait, he's pulling water out of people's bodies and killing them?

[Monet X Change]

No. Well, that is one in Korra. But in Avatar in the regular season, she gets. She. She can manipulate blood. Blood bending. Because blood is water. Yeah, water. So you can basically control someone cuz you can bend the blood in their

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

body, but she also is able to pull water. Like she can pull water out of like grass and plant. Like anywhere there's water, she can pull

[Monet X Change]

it out and water is everywhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Doing the water then.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, water.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cuz at that point I would just rip all your blood out your body.

[Monet X Change]

I. I do she like that girl in. In. In. In Gen V. Spoiler. That's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's.

[Monet X Change]

That's from episode one one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yikes.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

I feel like in the series Waterbell when waterbending is the best of all of them. It's way over bloomer and I feel like it's nearly the best of all the medic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not true.

[Monet X Change]

Because Earth is also everywhere. So I mean, you could. We could destroy the entire foundation. This. In this. In this room. With Earth like Earth, do you see what you're bending? Not necessarily. That's how she can pull the blood. I don't see your blood. I can pull it out of you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Toph is also blind.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How close you got to be to it?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know how strong you are. So in theory also, air is a good one too. I could suck the air out of the rock. I kill you.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

But I feel like water has the most evolutions because water has ice, it has healing. Water is also like blocking off other people's bending. Right In Korra.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Isn't that.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

He's a one.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, he.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. You can. You can. You can take someone's bending through. Through water. No, no, no, no, that's not true. He can take it because he's an Avatar. No, no, no. It's the guy with the mask or the blood blocker.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Yeah, he's a waterbender.

[Monet X Change]

But there's something else. There was like another. I haven't seen this long, but if

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you take the air out of my lungs and I won't die immediately, then I'd be like, there goes your blood.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, if you're an airbender, I don't know how fast. How fast that happened. Maybe I Don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I mean, you can live without oxygen for at least three seconds, at least.

[Monet X Change]

When there's no oxygen going to your brain, you think you can bring the strength to do blood blending.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bitch.

[Monet X Change]

You have no. You're about to die.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like maybe in an instant. I'll just be like, give me this blood. Guess who, back in the house. Heels click clack and about.

[Monet X Change]

Fire is probably the least. Fire is. I think. But fire is the most dangerous element. But it's the least like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also with wind, I can just be like, there we go. I'm going to make a tornado now.

[Monet X Change]

Exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can blink or use that.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, blinking is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, if I'm a strong enough bender, if I'm starting to blink. There we go.

[Monet X Change]

And fire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dare the butterfly can cause a tsunami in another country.

[Monet X Change]

A what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The butterfly effect. A butterfly flaps its wings and causes tsunami in another country. The butterfly effect, it's more of a

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

theory about like relativity as examples. Like the idea that there's a butterfly and a flap swings like across the world from you. And that little bit of air current like pushes more air and more air. And then it creates like a tornado because of the chain effect.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this wall creates something really bad big that.

[Monet X Change]

The evolution of fire is. They can. They can bend electricity.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cuz it's hot.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What if I get you in the. What if I get you what? Get you in the middle of a field with nothing. What you got? It's nighttime. We're in. We're in the woods. What you going? What you going?

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

I mean, so fire vendors can pull fire out of anywhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like from the earth too either.

[Monet X Change]

No, just, just. They can just generate fire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cuz that's. That's a game changer. Yeah, that's a game change. That's a game changer. All right. It's time. It's that time of year again. Okay, then don't do it. No, no, we won't do it. No, no, don't do it. I guess we're exhausting Monet.

[Monet X Change]

Go ahead, Jake.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, we'll move on.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Whose power is this?

[Monet X Change]

No, this is Bob's powers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, Monet's exhausted. We'll move on.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, wait, what's. Oh, wait, is it generated already? Yeah. Oh, these are Bob's powers. Okay, so I'm gonna read it. So Bob is a zena.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have xenoglossy.

[Monet X Change]

Xenoglossy. You can speak a language fluently without having ever learned it before. Okay, whack. Actually, that's pretty good. Power type. That's good for like normal. That's not fighting. Who cares? Power to wood. Control

[Bob the Drag Queen]

wood.

[Monet X Change]

Just such a lame power.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, keep reading.

[Monet X Change]

Wood bridge. Create a sturdy solid wood.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly. A sturdy and solid movable platform. Or.

[Monet X Change]

Or a bridge of wood to a wood whip. Create a long line of woods that looks and acts like a. Oh, kid with a whip. Kid with a bullwhip.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm eating your ass up.

[Monet X Change]

You can make up bridges. Your power is so fucking lame.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's see how great you are.

[Monet X Change]

Let's see. Power type what Monet's in it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll read these. Improved climber. Climb almost any surface and height with ease. Energy absorption. Absorb energy from other beings and objects and use it to re. Energize. Monet is a fucking energy sucker. No, that is that. I think money actually doesn't have that. Because I'd be leaving drained as shit and then keep going. But Jacob.

[Monet X Change]

My origins. So, honey, I've been able to climb things from birth. I climbed before I was walking with climbing shit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But all you can do is make me tired and climb shit.

[Monet X Change]

No, absorb energy. I literally absorb energy from you. You can't build nothing when you have no energy. I can absorb energy from the sun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's a bridge surround. There's bridges on every side of you. And you can't climb them because you are encased in them.

[Monet X Change]

No, I can climb anything. What do you mean I can't. I can climb.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can't climb through something. You can climb around things. What do you. What are you? When I'm bridge, bridge above you, bridge below you, bridge behind you. Bridge.

[Monet X Change]

Because I can't absorb energy from anywhere. So I'm literally going to pull it through the wall.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you can't climb through. You can't pull the energy through. You can't get out of the bridges. You're surrounded in bridges.

[Monet X Change]

And you're. And you're. And you have no energy. Dead on the floor. So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are surrounded by bridges.

[Monet X Change]

Now we're both illusions.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge.

[Monet X Change]

Also, how fast do you think you can do these bridges? Like just as a snap of a finger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And how fast can you do this energy? It doesn't say fast energy. So if you can be fast, I can be fast.

[Monet X Change]

What's. Are they just materializing bridges from anywhere?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

Where's the wood coming from?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The air bridge.

[Monet X Change]

The air bridge.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's how it can generate bridges. It is. I have to go chop down a wood. Chop down a tree.

[Monet X Change]

This is a fortnite shit. This is just bridge, bridge, building, bridge,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

building, building, bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge. Like a bridge over troubled water. Honey, you will be water under the bridge.

[Monet X Change]

What's my first order? Climbing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Climbing. I'm obviously beating you in this round.

[Monet X Change]

You're not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's gonna be so easy too. Run it back one more time, Jacob. This time I'm about to really eat you up.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

A new one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yep. Here we go.

[Monet X Change]

We're gonna be first or second?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You'll be first this time.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Okay. I'm reading my own this time. Ah,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you can't do that with your voice.

[Monet X Change]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm an animorph. Oh, wow.

[Monet X Change]

I can turn into any animal at will.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Read it. No.

[Monet X Change]

Read it. Okay, it says transform into a dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Read it.

[Monet X Change]

Transform into a dog at will. But I think it's only a dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it says. It says anamorph transform into a dog at will. Okay, so you throwing any animal is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

And I'm a wild dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not a type of dog.

[Monet X Change]

It is a wild dog. Wild dogs are a type of dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A wild dog is a breed of dogs.

[Monet X Change]

Yes. Look it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is a wild dog?

[Monet X Change]

The wild dogs are thing. African wild dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The. No, it's a wild.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know how I know it was. It was the African. But I know wild dogs are a thing. I watch. I watched that Giovanni Corso. I don't. That. That big ass dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cane Corsos are very dangerous dogs.

[Monet X Change]

African wild dog, bitch. They're crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Look at the cane. Cora.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Are you sure? Because just to be clear, an African p. Dog is 30 inches tall.

[Monet X Change]

And that's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's tall. No, you.

[Monet X Change]

And my weight is 80 pounds. That's a lot of dog. 80 pound dog.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're locked in.

[Monet X Change]

Also, they're very fast. They're almost as fast as a cheetah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's that? Any dogs?

[Monet X Change]

A war dog.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Yeah, they're like dogs that are bred for war and like those.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, a Belgian Malinois. Oh my God. I grew up with a Belgian. Milo, look up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A cane corso.

[Monet X Change]

Rest in peace, Max.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A cane Corso is basically a giant pit bull.

[Monet X Change]

I know. I've seen a cane corso. These things are big, but they're slow though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, let's go back to Monet's powers.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, then. I'm super huge human. I'm. I'm a climber again.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just a dog climbing. Just a dog climbing.

[Monet X Change]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're a dog that can climb things before you even hit power up. I feel bad for you. I'm about to destroy you. You're about to get pummeled into the earth. Jacob. Click that motherfucking button. Energy Energy Manipulation Control. Reduce, increase and restrain the energy flows of other beings and objects. So you can't even transform to a dog anymore. EMP waves release electromagnetic pulses capable of disturbing and destroying electronic devices. You can't call for help, your phone's destroyed.

[Monet X Change]

Guess who's wood control?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The wood bridge. The wood bridge.

[Monet X Change]

A wood bridge is crazy.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

Okay? I also, I made it only, so it's modest power. This is not the full range.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, okay. I'll just say these are some whack ass. Energy control is pretty good because you're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You got another. A bridge, A bridge. A bridge, a bridge, a bridge. Wood bridging is crazy.

[Monet X Change]

That's a crazy. Animal powers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What animal. What superhero has wood bridge powers?

[Monet X Change]

I mean, the only thing, the closest thing I can think of is maybe Poison Ivy. She can build a bridge.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's so kind.

[Monet X Change]

It's a fierce, fierce, fierce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can talk to one animal. One. Not all animals.

[Monet X Change]

There's like one specific animal. One breed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One specific breed and type of animal. So you can't talk to like every deer? No. I'll give you a 1. What's the word I'm looking for? Like one category. Like, because if I say dogs, that doesn't include wolves.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so canine, domestic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like you can't talk to bears. Bears. I think bears are technically canines. I think, I think. Google that.

[Monet X Change]

I think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think bears are technically canines. Is a bear canine? No, they're not. They're not technically canines. They.

[Monet X Change]

They.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

While they are the same family as dogs can day, they belong to the sub. To the suborder. Can forma. Yeah, that's what it is. So what animal you going to talk to? Because I. I think I. I think I actually know what I'm gonna talk to.

[Monet X Change]

I would do domestic dogs. There's so many.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is so easy. And I would be probably the most powerful being on the planet Earth. Mosquitoes. So you can talk and control them.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, and control them. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know that the mosquito. Yes, I will have the. I will be so powerful. You know, mosquitoes are the most dangerous animals, the most deadly animal in the. The planet.

[Monet X Change]

Because they can spread diseases?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, because they bite. Yes.

[Monet X Change]

I just. I just wasn't asking. I was just filling into your sentence. I would say bees. Bees are fierce.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet, the bees don't. I don't think bees. I guess bees can kill.

[Monet X Change]

They can kill. Killer bees.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You need one mosquito to kill. You need one.

[Monet X Change]

You need one killer bee to kill you too. No. Yes. A killer bee can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One killer. If you're allergic.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One. No. One killer bee cannot kill you.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know that to be true. J can look it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This our last thing. One killer bee cannot kill you. One killer bee.

[Jacob (Producer/Adjudicator)]

I mean, if you're not allergic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. If you're not allergic.

[Monet X Change]

A single killer bee. African. Is generally not capable of killing a healthy human on its own.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. My mosquitoes are taking you down, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my. Bees versus your mosquitoes. My bees are bigger than mosquitoes. They're going to kill your bees. I mean your mosquitoes. Like, like bees versus mosquitoes. Like just those two things. They're fighting. Bees are extremely coordinated. They are hive minded.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, mosquitoes just dumb.

[Monet X Change]

They are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mosquitoes are just dumb out here in the street.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mosquitoes watching. You heard that make this itch.

[Monet X Change]

Ow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ow. All right, bye, everyone.

[Monet's James]

You can't reason with the sun. Trust us. We've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your [e-mail] to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever.