Loading summary
Bob the Drag Queen
This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. I've been having so much fun partnering with them because between drag gigs, filming, and touring, I'm always on the move, and hotel life can be pretty draining. I'm serious, y'. All. Booking stays with Airbnb has changed the game. When I go on tour, I love having extra space to spread out. And it's those extra, like, everyday comforts,
Monet X Change
you know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like sitting at a real kitchen table or having a cozy living room that makes it all the different.
Monet X Change
Traveling this way just feels more authentic and human. So glam up your trip by using Airbnb to find an amazing place to stay. Ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit Red Bull.com BrightSummerAhead to learn more. See you this summer.
Bob the Drag Queen
My name is Bob the Drag Queen.
Monet X Change
And I'm Monet X Change.
Bob the Drag Queen
And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, we talk about
Monet X Change
autobiographies, we do some witch and wizard
Bob the Drag Queen
trivia, and we find out what made Monet say this.
Monet X Change
Jacob. Jacob, do not out of me right now. And we find out what made Bob say this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God. This my. Please, I. I beg of you, back off this one. I kind of gave up on memoirs and biographies.
Monet X Change
Why?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I was listening to Viola Davis's while doing Runyon Canyon, and it is. It is a very sad.
Monet X Change
Wait, hold. So, Jacob, text is our task. And Viola trying to start the podcast before I can get mine under my belt.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, they were texting us before the podcast.
Monet X Change
He literally just sent it to me at 10, two seconds ago.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it a paragraph?
Monet X Change
What? Jake, I don't understand what this means.
Bob the Drag Queen
Give it to me.
Monet X Change
Get the fuck out of here. Wait, okay, hold on. Let me just.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hold on. Jesus Christ. Is it in your public education? What? This can't be. I can't wait to read this and be like, this can't be that hard to understand. Is there a typo in it?
Monet X Change
No, it's just a little unclear what the actual action is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you believe it's clear, Jacob?
Monet X Change
It's a little confusing to me.
Jacob
Okay, yeah, I'll text you to clear it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is wild.
Monet X Change
You're wild.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I've been described as wild before. Anyone would say you Literally have a
Monet X Change
whole tour of something about. This is wild. A lot of it's about.
Bob the Drag Queen
You said I've been described as wild before. I'm not arguing.
Monet X Change
Who, yourself?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes. No one's arguing, Monet. No one's arguing. I said I've been described as. Okay, wait.
Monet X Change
Let me clear it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jesus Christ.
Monet X Change
This is wild. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is the wildest, actually.
Monet X Change
Where the Wild Things Are.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was saying I.
Monet X Change
Great book and movie.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've never seen the movie. What? And honestly, I don't think I've ever read one of the books ever.
Monet X Change
Were you a child?
Bob the Drag Queen
I was a child for about 17 years.
Monet X Change
What happened to you? What happened to your child that you never read?
Bob the Drag Queen
We just didn't read where the Wild Things Are. I read Babysitter's Club. I read Goosebumps.
Monet X Change
Did you read Animorphs?
Bob the Drag Queen
I did not read Animorphs.
Monet X Change
Animorphs was also really good. They made a TV show about it on Nickelodeon that was super dark.
Jacob
Have you heard the news?
Monet X Change
What?
Jacob
They're rebooting it. Ryan Coogler from Sinners is producing the Animorphs reboot.
Monet X Change
You're out, Jacob. Do not fucking lie to me right now. Jacob did not fucking lie.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is this because you love Animorphs or Ryan Coogler?
Monet X Change
Animorphs. I read all the books. I used to love the show, even though it was dark.
Bob the Drag Queen
What animal would you morph into?
Monet X Change
Ooh, I would want to morph into a beaver.
Jacob
So Animorphs can turn into any animal they touch, they acquire.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, it's not just one animal. See, I never watched Animorphs, but each
Jacob
Animorph has a signature animal that they use for color.
Bob the Drag Queen
Your sixth genre would be a beaver.
Monet X Change
A beaver for sure.
Bob the Drag Queen
Apparently they're very strong.
Monet X Change
I know. That's what I want to be with.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you Google a beaver's strength companion?
Monet X Change
Wait, hold on. Edible TV series in development at Disney. Ryan Coogler's Proximity Media to produce also. He's not directing, but his production company is doing it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't imagine Ryan Coogler going to direct every. I can imagine. What's going to happen is Ryan Coogler will direct the first episode, and then the rest will be shelled out to other people. Oh, my God.
Monet X Change
This is great new Jacob, Why didn't you send this to me earlier?
Jacob
I didn't know you were an Animorphs girl.
Monet X Change
I'm a huge Animorph. I did a whole thread thing about it. People were coming at me for liking animal.
Jacob
Dillon, you need a photo shoot like the covers.
Monet X Change
Ooh, that's a good idea.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet morphing into a beaver. Why'd I be.
Monet X Change
I want to be a beaver. You just chose beaver just to piss you off.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you build? Yeah, that's a big.
Monet X Change
I'm really good at building in. Say with me one. I said on three, bitch.
Bob the Drag Queen
You did not say. You said and I said. But you didn't say on 3. To be clear, you didn't say it with me.
Monet X Change
Supposed to be my best friend. Supposed to be tapped in. Tap the in and wake up.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm tapping out.
Monet X Change
Okay, good.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's time for s to do her fair share anyway of best friending around here.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Also, how's your bite force? My beavers have a really strong bite
Monet X Change
and people make fun of my big teeth all the time. I have very big teeth. Anything that have like, weirdly big teeth, I think my teeth are normal size. His are just tiny, tiny teeth.
Bob the Drag Queen
Andy does have small teeth.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Your first four are very chickly. I mean, same. I also have big, big teeth as well. But also you have a big head. So I think that it fits in your.
Monet X Change
Try to say the word big is another word to describe me. Put big somewhere.
Bob the Drag Queen
Big teeth, big head, big hands, big feet, and a big heart. Why would you hit me?
Monet X Change
Because I don't want you to touch me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Currently, you're gonna ask what animal I would morph into. This is wild.
Monet X Change
What animal would you morph into?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, you don't have to ask that question. I. Okay. Personality wise, I feel very ducky. You know, I'm a duck as far as my personality goes. But if I could choose the animal that I morph into, I would probably become a paragon falcon. It's the fastest animal in the world.
Jacob
That's one of their signature flight birds. They also have signature flying birds.
Bob the Drag Queen
Animals.
Jacob
Yeah. One of them has signature.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's the fastest animal.
Jacob
I think it's Cassie's signature.
Monet X Change
Cassie. Oh, my God, Cassie.
Bob the Drag Queen
Shout out to Cassie, Cassie, if you're watching.
Monet X Change
Wait, so you want to be what? Falcon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Paragon falcon.
Monet X Change
Got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is the fastest animal in the world.
Monet X Change
Well, a cheetah is the fastest land animal.
Bob the Drag Queen
The peregrine falcon is the fastest animal in the world.
Monet X Change
How fast does it fly?
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's find out. I'm going to guess. I think a peregrine falcon can fly up to 85 miles an hour.
Monet X Change
I'm going to say 110.
Bob the Drag Queen
The answer is 200 miles an hour.
Monet X Change
And by the Price is white. Right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Price is white. You would.
Monet X Change
You would with your white ass warfare sitting over there.
Jacob
It's not. When they're flying with their wing, they have hunting dives. So they see a mouse and they dive. They like do a freef fall dive through the air and that's when they hit that speed. So their flight like flapping fall out
Bob the Drag Queen
of a plane faster than I. If I could, I could get up to 500. Girl, if I hit the pike 100%.
Monet X Change
Should we. Should we go skydiving?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, no, no.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
We should not. We should, but I would never stop you from doing it.
Monet X Change
Why? Why would you do it?
Bob the Drag Queen
There's. I don't have the thrill seeking gene. There's nothing in me that wants to be scared outside of like a. Maybe a haunted house or a scary movie. I don't want to be in dangerous situations. I don't find it thrilling. I do. There's nothing about that, though. I don't usually see people walking on the edge of buildings.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And they do it. They get on the edge of a. They get. And they do a. No, no.
Monet X Change
This is just a walking. I seen.
Bob the Drag Queen
And they do a backflip. Yeah. Like you're literally on the edge of a skyscraper and you just hit up. This is wild.
Monet X Change
Something about that is weird. There's something fake about that. I don't think there's no. People are risking them. I've seen these videos. They were on these like 50 story buildings and doing the craziest stuff to them.
Bob the Drag Queen
People seek thrills.
Monet X Change
Monet, that's insane to me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you jumping out of planes or you want to. You did jump off a building one time. There's footage of it.
Monet X Change
Footage is I jumped off of the Sky Tower in Auckland, New Zealand. I forget how long it was, but I was like. But that's not really. You're not really free falling.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cause you're attached to until you're not.
Monet X Change
You're going like the mechanics of the things are going down with you. You're not just jumping without any support.
Bob the Drag Queen
But until that carabiner, they didn' change it fast enough.
Monet X Change
But it's like seven carabiners on you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm just saying, you know what. You know who would never fall from that building under any accidents? Me. Because I would never jump off of it. You would never catch me.
Monet X Change
Beyonce did it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. I do not strive to Beyonce. I'm not mad at Beyonce. I'm not jumping off of a building. This is. This is wild. Oh yeah.
Monet X Change
This guy, he just did so. What's his name again?
Bob the Drag Queen
He did it on TikTok and Instagram. It was streaming everywhere.
Monet X Change
Alex Honnold. Yeah, he climbed this building in Taipei. He had Taipei. The skyscraper. And he like, with no help, no support, just.
Bob the Drag Queen
That is crazy. Just nothing.
Monet X Change
Also because my grip strength is not great. I'm strong, but. And my right hand more so than my left hand. My right hand grip strength is. I don't know, because I jerk off my right hand.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's prob. That's what I was getting at.
Monet X Change
No, but you think it'll be better though.
Bob the Drag Queen
But your right hand is stronger.
Monet X Change
No, my right hand is not as my left hand is stronger.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, I should have bought the grip tester. And you could have literally tested to see which one has.
Monet X Change
No, you tried it last time and yours doesn't work.
Bob the Drag Queen
Mine does work. Well, last time you checked because my grip was higher than yours.
Monet X Change
No, it literally would not work. Last time. You were like.
Bob the Drag Queen
It did not happen. I've tested the grip tester.
Monet X Change
It works anyway.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think you be rewriting history?
Monet X Change
That's not it.
Bob the Drag Queen
His hands look. No, it's like a.
Monet X Change
It's a yellow, like orange thing, right?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it is white and gray.
Monet X Change
Yeah, you would white.
Bob the Drag Queen
You squeeze it and you squeeze it and. I did.
Monet X Change
I know. Do you think he has soft hands?
Bob the Drag Queen
You can look at his hand. They like crocodile skin. This man absolutely does not have soft hands under any circumstances. This is a brutal, brittle, abrasive touch.
Monet X Change
He looks like he has tiny hands, though. And you think you need big hands for that?
Bob the Drag Queen
His hands are the size of his head. How do those hands look tiny?
Monet X Change
Because he's a small person. This guy's like 5 7.
Bob the Drag Queen
How did you know that?
Monet X Change
Because I was interested by the story.
Bob the Drag Queen
Were you comparing him to the building? How tall is this man?
Monet X Change
He's 5 7. How much? How much you want to bet? How much you want to bet?
Bob the Drag Queen
20 bucks.
Monet X Change
20 bucks?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I want something. I want something more substantial.
Monet X Change
I may give you gifts. You.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want them both.
Monet X Change
No, you can't have.
Bob the Drag Queen
Actually, you know what if I'm right. Whoa, whoa. If he's not 5 7, and I don't mean within an inch.
Monet X Change
No, no, no. You have to get the right height. Not just so I get one thing. You get the whole range of things.
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't say I knew this man's height, okay?
Monet X Change
I'm saying you had to get something.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let me tell you what I want. If you're wrong, you have to smash it. Smash it as soon as you're wrong. You have to smash it.
Monet X Change
If I'm wrong, I will smash one of these.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, yours. You will smash this one and then smash this ugly ass ashtray.
Monet X Change
This ashtray is very cute, by the way. You're such a hater. Look how cute this is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you gonna do what I want?
Monet X Change
So what? So. And if you're wrong, I don't know
Bob the Drag Queen
how tall this man is. Okay?
Monet X Change
So I'm saying the deal I will do is you also have to get one right? Like, whoever, you have to guess the height.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, well, no, I'm not claiming to know how tall this man is.
Monet X Change
Okay, then I don't want the deal.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I believe this man is 5 foot 9.
Monet X Change
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Bob the Drag Queen
Girl, I hear what you're saying, but to be clear, I never claim to know how tall this man is. You said you looked it up and
Monet X Change
you know how tall he is, and he's 5 7. Okay, but you need to guess a height of seven.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I'm not betting anything. I'm guessing 5 9.
Monet X Change
Then we're moving.
Bob the Drag Queen
We're gonna find out.
Monet X Change
Okay, so then if you're wrong, I get to smash something in here.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I'm not part of the. I don't have a part of it.
Monet X Change
Then you can't smash anything of mine.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't want to smash it. I want to fight tall he is, and we're going to find out.
Jacob
Now, this man is 5 11.
Monet X Change
So 57 plus 4.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why did you make that up? Why would you. What's your obsession? This is. This is wild. This. This is wild. This behavior is wild. You're a wild person.
Monet X Change
11.
Bob the Drag Queen
Really? You were just like, he's shorter than the building, so he's got to be short.
Jacob
I feel like if you're a rock climber, you need to be tall so you can, like, do the crazy and grab whatever.
Bob the Drag Queen
The man and his hands were gigantic. They were the size of his head.
Monet X Change
Well, there was nothing to, like, scare his head. I mean, they were.
Bob the Drag Queen
He was holding.
Monet X Change
This man looks like Jacob. So I was going off of Jacob. Jacob doesn't have a pretty big head. Jacob has a pretty average head.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, this man has similarities to Jacob. He has curly hair, he's white. He has dark eyebrows.
Monet X Change
If I would just. If I'm in this room and I had sunglasses on and I did this.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm Jacob. I mean, I would. I. But I. I see Jacob every day. I don't see Jacob every day, but I've seen Jacob enough times over the Past almost nine years to. I would be like, no, that's not Jacob. But if I wasn't wearing my glasses and he was really far away. No, because he's five' eleven. Jacob. By the way, I don't know if you ever dated a short guy before.
Monet X Change
I have not.
Bob the Drag Queen
Baby, don't lose him in a store. Baby, we be at Best Buy. Jacob doesn't clear the. He doesn't clear the aisles. Who clears the aisles at a store, you big bitch.
Monet X Change
You got something of you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Store.
Monet X Change
Seven fucking big black motherfuckers.
Bob the Drag Queen
Your nipples are above it.
Jacob
Five minutes to finish your task. Lost in stores.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
The what?
Bob the Drag Queen
He was putting us back on track.
Monet X Change
Oh, got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can find Andy Big Ass. You can hear those thunderous footsteps anywhere and listen for the sounds of eating.
Monet X Change
Let's let you know again, everyone podcast said that Andy had.
Bob the Drag Queen
Everyone did not say that. You were so hyperbolic.
Monet X Change
It was lit.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you know how you went from everyone.
Monet X Change
It was squit. But you're recanting the story. Well, knowing everyone thinks Andy has ugly feet, and that's literally not true.
Bob the Drag Queen
Someone in this room just went.
Monet X Change
They never seen it on the Patreon.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, but he's seen them in real life. Now, there are cracks in the pavement outside of Monet's house. I don't know where they're from, but I've seen Andy walk in those spots is all I'm saying. Do you want soft hands?
Monet X Change
I have soft hands where my calluses aren't.
Bob the Drag Queen
Those are your hands?
Monet X Change
No, my calluses are my whole hand.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let me dry this off and let
Monet X Change
me just get her fit. Why are your hands wet? Don't touch with your wet ass hands.
Bob the Drag Queen
Motherfuckers.
Monet X Change
Talk with you. Are you nervous?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm moisturized.
Monet X Change
Are you nervous to complete your task?
Bob the Drag Queen
I've already done my test. Mine is already complete, by the way. Let me see your hand. This isn't part of my task.
Monet X Change
I think it is.
Bob the Drag Queen
I promise you this is not part of my.
Monet X Change
I think it is. I'm not going to touch you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, then afterwards, I'm going to touch your hands.
Monet X Change
Okay. Do you know. Can I tell you how you have started a complex and I fit in mine, too? A complex with my fans online.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's the complex with this?
Monet X Change
How I pronounce things. And I really want to confront you about it on the podcast today.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, we're on the podcast.
Monet X Change
It's too much, Bob. I want you to not talk about the way I say words like hair, air bear.
Bob the Drag Queen
Claire, you're gonna Say all those and
Monet X Change
expect me to not give anything dear.
Bob the Drag Queen
And what do you want me to. How do you want me to respond to that?
Monet X Change
To just let it go and let God. I'm gonna test you. Nair in there. Are you in the clear? You know, my mother had the horse that was a mare.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think that. I want to say. I think that Clari it up is part of your charm.
Monet X Change
And also, I say claire it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
Also, Clare it up is now. I now say Clari it up. Like, I can't stop saying claire it up. Claire it up. That should be a segment. Claire it up. But you have.
Monet X Change
You have just. You have lied into. You have. I don't say what you say. I'm saying I don't say clar it up. I say Claire it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire. That's the same. But I say stuff funny, too. Yeah. And I don't.
Monet X Change
I let you live.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't.
Monet X Change
If you were. If you pronounce Claire weird, I would not.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't pronounce clear word.
Monet X Change
How do you pronounce it clear? That's what I said.
Bob the Drag Queen
I say outside is a clear blue sky.
Monet X Change
You just said Claire.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, Monet. You're saying you would say outside is a clear blue. You would say, outside is a clear blue sky.
Monet X Change
Y' all are watching gaslighting happening in real life.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, they are laughing because they hear you saying Claire.
Monet X Change
No, they're laughing at you being ridiculous.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want to ask the room. Do you guys hear a difference? The way me and Monae are saying clear.
Monet X Change
This is not a studio audience.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're all saying yes, and there's nothing wrong with that. My favorite thing you said when you said near tears on the podcast once, near tears sent me to the. And I'm not saying how you said it. Cause you asked me not to do that, but when you said near tears, I was near tears. Near tears.
Monet X Change
Near tears.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's part of your charm. It's really, really charming.
Monet X Change
So where Shannon said, declare it up.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think clear it up is a segment on maybe your Monet expose should be called clear it Up, Claire it up. Yeah, let's clear it up. Oh, my God. That's such a good. I've done so many great branding opportunities for you. And you. You've offered me, like, a few over the years, too.
Monet X Change
Do you just sit home and just.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm rarely.
Monet X Change
I just jerk.
Bob the Drag Queen
You.
Monet X Change
I just. Just masturbate on your ideas. You think you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do think I have really good ideas.
Monet X Change
Clearly.
Bob the Drag Queen
That was good. My guy. See why can't you leave it alone? Complimenting gear. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. I've been having so much fun partnering with them because between drag gigs, filming and touring, I'm always on the move. And hotel life can be pretty draining. I'm serious, y'. All. Booking stays with Airbnb has changed the game. When I go on tour, I need a home base that actually feels like a home. I love having extra space to spread out. And it's those extra, like, everyday comforts,
Monet X Change
you know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like sitting at a real kitchen table or having a cozy living room to decompress in that makes it all the different, you know what I mean? Plus, chatting with hosts gives you that local perspective you just can't get anywhere else. It makes me feel connected to the neighborhood instead of just passing through it.
Monet X Change
So three years ago, I had a fabulous birthday in Malibu, booked through Airbnb. And y', all, I'm telling you, it was a house overlooking this mountain in Malibu. All my friends came, the pool was gorgeous. We had. It was this palatial estate. Like, I felt like I was living life the way I meant to live life. It was so luxurious, so grand. And Airbnb made this experience. The mother tucking tea. Maybe I should do it again this year. Traveling this way just feels more authentic and human. So glam up your trip by using Airbnb to find an amazing place to stay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Support of this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference? Well, baby, you are not alone. That's exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you want and make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to Waldenu. Edu and take that first step. Walden University Set a Course for Change. Certified top rate by Chef this message
Monet X Change
is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a Course for Change. Want to make real change in your life, career and community? At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W with online programs designed for working professionals. You'll gain hands on skills to take on real world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step. Visit Waldenu. Edu Walden University Set a Course for Change Certified to operate by Chevrolet all
Bob the Drag Queen
right, I finished my task. Why are you sitting on your sunglasses?
Monet X Change
I just have them here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you wear sunglasses?
Monet X Change
You know, I can't really be a sunglasses. Why?
Bob the Drag Queen
You know what it is? Obviously, this is the point of sunglasses, but, oh, hey, look at this one
Monet X Change
here with the Gucci glasses. Why do you become African when you do that?
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I'm doing a Nigerian accent.
Monet X Change
No, but to you, that's Jamaican also. And Beijing and Trinidad here.
Bob the Drag Queen
My Jamaican is very different. Let me hear it. If I was going Jamaican, I'd say, look at these hair glasses. And if I was doing, hey, look at these hair glasses.
Monet X Change
What's Beijing?
Bob the Drag Queen
Bajan. It's more ban. I don't even know what Beijing is. Where is that? Beija? I don't even know what Beijing is.
Monet X Change
Beijing.
Bob the Drag Queen
What is Beijing?
Monet X Change
Barbados.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, they're Bajan.
Monet X Change
They're Beijing.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not Barbadian.
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
I guess I never knew that.
Monet X Change
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Bajans. Yeah, they're Asian Parisians. Where are they from? And Persians are from.
Monet X Change
Are from Iran.
Bob the Drag Queen
Anyway, it's too dark. I'm wearing shades, and I'm like, it is. It's actually genuinely too dark.
Monet X Change
First of all, you literally wore them on the first episode of Traitors. So what was your. What was your thing there?
Bob the Drag Queen
But I don't wear them the whole time, and they're often down here, so I can see over them.
Monet X Change
Well, that's the point of sunglasses. You route.
Bob the Drag Queen
I know. I think what it is, and I've learned this from having a partner with blue eyes. He's experiencing the world. Did you know I. Apparently, when you have light eyes, the world is brighter to you.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Because when your eyes are brown, you have melanin in your eyes. It helps shield some of the reflection of the sun.
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't know it worked that way, because what happened? We were walking on Runyon, and I was like. I remember Jacob being needing sunglasses. I need sunglasses. And I was like, what do you mean? I always thought sunglasses just kind of like, the only time I ever need sunglasses when I'm driving down Sunset, when the sun is setting. Because the sun actually does set right over. I didn't realize that's why they call it Sunset Boulevard. Sunset Boulevard.
Monet X Change
Sunset Boulevard. Correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
It sets right over. And if you're driving east, it's no, west.
Monet X Change
That's where the sun sets on the west.
Bob the Drag Queen
If you're driving west, it's hellish. You're rising. You know how I remember sun rising the east? Because of Easter. Because Jesus rose in the east. Easter. He's rising. And I think that's why they call it that.
Monet X Change
I just know it because of school.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's Easter. Because he has risen.
Jacob
No, it's called Easter because Estera was a pagan God who everyone worshiped. And they were trying to get the pagans to convert to Christianity. So they co opted Estera into Christianity by making Easter.
Bob the Drag Queen
Exactly. You did not know that?
Monet X Change
Yes, I did.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I associate Easter him rising sun rises in the east.
Monet X Change
I just know that the sun rises in the east because that's just from school. Just learning. Wait, what was your task?
Jacob
Well, you have to guess what each other's tasks were.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, here's something to do with those glasses.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
You have something to do with these glasses.
Monet X Change
Why do you need the glasses?
Bob the Drag Queen
Because you never. It's not that bright in here. And you're gagging. Because I'm right. You're not right. Well, then what was it? Can I actually read it? I want to read it and see what was. So let me tell you first, okay?
Monet X Change
My task was to say the word something with an ear 15 times, okay? But what Jacob said first was you must say hair, air, clair, dare, nair, or anything that rhymes with that 15 times. So I was like, do I have to say like. Do I have to say like different ones? Or can I say the same one over and over when it says or
Bob the Drag Queen
any female rhymes with that, Right? I'm saying like, did I have to
Monet X Change
do rhyming ones like here? Yeah. Cause it says no, but I can say the same word 15 times. So I can say here, here, here, here, here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I want. Can I May I read it? This is why I think it's clear. Woo you. Why are you sending Jacob nudes?
Monet X Change
Because we like the. It's how we get down. Are you mad?
Bob the Drag Queen
And why are they mine? No, you must say hear, ear, clear, dear, near, or anything that rhymes with that. 15. That honestly feels really good.
Monet X Change
That is not clear. That's not clear to me.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's not clear about it? Because I didn't know if.
Monet X Change
Could I say the same word over and over again?
Bob the Drag Queen
So when it says or right, I
Monet X Change
didn't know if it was saying I had to say or that thing with it to rhyme with it. You see what I'm saying?
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you know what mine was?
Monet X Change
Yours was. It wasn't something to do with the hands. I was just trying to extend because I hadn't done mine. So I was trying to extend this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can I feel your hands though? Yeah,
Monet X Change
it's the calluses that are rough.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I mean there are soft parts to Your hands, you're actually. They've gotten softer.
Monet X Change
Have they?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, they actually have gotten much softer than the last time. I remember, like taking a catalog of
Monet X Change
how your hands feel because I haven't had stress over the past two and a half months.
Bob the Drag Queen
What happened?
Monet X Change
I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's been three months, by the way.
Monet X Change
Three. Has it been three months?
Bob the Drag Queen
I was gone for. It's been more. I was gone for three months.
Monet X Change
No, but I saw you. So we're ducking on the.
Bob the Drag Queen
But your hands are softer than they used to be.
Monet X Change
Your task was. I don't know, I couldn't tell.
Bob the Drag Queen
I had to say this is a while 15 times. And I think I might have clocked in around 20. Jacob.
Monet X Change
Were you counting, Jacob?
Jacob
I stopped after 15, but yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Guess who. Back in the house, honey.
Monet X Change
I won mine too.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's your. Like I was saying before I had to give up on autobiographies.
Monet X Change
Not auto, your memoirs.
Bob the Drag Queen
Memoirs and autobiographies. Why? So I was listening to Viola Davis while doing Runyon Becoming.
Monet X Change
No, that's Michelle Obama.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can't remember the name of hers, but it was. It was sad. It was really sad. Like Viola Davis. It was called. What's it called?
Monet X Change
Finding Me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Finding Me.
Monet X Change
Funny you say that. Cause Annie got me this book and I started reading it as well. And I thought about chapter three, because it is pretty tough. It's about her growing up in Rhode Island.
Bob the Drag Queen
The fires.
Monet X Change
The fires pretty heavy.
Bob the Drag Queen
The house she lived in, the apartment below code.
Monet X Change
The rats.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't even. I think I may have blocked some of it out. I think maybe I will go back and finish it at some point. I mean, it is her story. Yeah, it is her story, which is like, that's real. But geez Louise, there is this.
Monet X Change
I just saw this thing, this tick, this reels among this. Oh, my God, this poor woman. I think it's going viral. She lives in the Bronx on 173rd street and conquerors Avenue in the Bronx. And she's this like 73 year old woman. She's living in this apartment in New York City that is riddled with rats. And not just like tiny rats, these huge fucking rats. And she's 73 years old, she's retired, she can't work, and she's like stressed out. She's like. In this video, ABC7, she is sobbing and she's like, I just want someone to please help me with the situation. I'm not asking to leave my apartment. If that's what I have to. I'll do It. But she's like, I am on. You know, I'm on Social Security. I cannot afford to just pick up and move. And watching this old Dominican lady tell this story, it is so sad to watch.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, why don't we. Can you bring it up, Jacob? And does she have a Gofundme?
Monet X Change
I don't know if there's a Gofundme.
Bob the Drag Queen
I would like to give some money to her GoFundMe for sure.
Monet X Change
But I'm like, how do we, like, help this woman get, like, in the Bronx, there is a thing where ABC7, the Bronx rat lady, I'm sure will come.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you watch the cleaning videos?
Monet X Change
Yes. I literally just saw one yesterday. So there she is.
Bob the Drag Queen
I saw this deep cleaning. Can you look? If she has to go find me, I don't need to see the video. I trust Monet's recounting of it, but I just want to see if there's a GoFundMe and we can donate to it and direct our fans to go donate as well. No one's gonna Gofundme yet.
Monet X Change
Okay. Jake will find it.
Bob the Drag Queen
So this. Oh, it looks so sad. I can't. I can't watch old black ladies cry.
Monet X Change
I know.
Bob the Drag Queen
But anyway, I'm gonna get very emotional about that. This lady, they deep clean these houses. They deep clean these houses. And this old lady was in this house. She was, like, just really, really old. But because she couldn't move around, she. Her mobility had been obviously deeply affected. Then, like, she had. It was like. It was like cobwebs everywhere. And this lady who just flies around just cleaning up these houses.
Monet X Change
See, I don't have the stomach to do it. I would not be able to because I've seen some of these videos. Some of these little houses are. They're in. They're down. Bad girl.
Bob the Drag Queen
I feel like I would do them. I don't really have that skill set. Like, as one of those, like, people who, like, help. Quora. Spicy is her name. Is that her name? Cora.
Jacob
Spicy and Spicy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cora and Sp. Okora and. And who's Spicy?
Jacob
Maybe her cat or maybe something.
Monet X Change
It's a good name for a cat.
Bob the Drag Queen
Spicy Spice is a good name for a cat. Can you click it?
Jacob
It's not going through for some reason.
Bob the Drag Queen
Got.
Jacob
Seems to be a dead link.
Monet X Change
So I don't know if she's gonna understand.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe she reached her goal. But I would. If we finally. I would. I'm gonna go ahead and donate to this lady's GoFundMe, and if you all want to if we. If we find it, which I believe we have the capacity. The link is in the bio right now. You can help get this lady. We should get this lady up in a high rise.
Monet X Change
Can we bring her here to la?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Jacob
It says Bad Gateway when I click
Monet X Change
through the link, so.
Bob the Drag Queen
Interesting. I hope that this lady gets her money.
Monet X Change
We move her just across the country to Los Angeles.
Bob the Drag Queen
She probably has family in the Bronx. I would imagine all people want to be in the family.
Monet X Change
Yeah. See, when I get older, I just want to be alone. The older I get, I just want to be alone.
Bob the Drag Queen
Andy watching this at home, and he
Monet X Change
was just like, he doesn't watch a podcast.
Bob the Drag Queen
Girl. I saw this guy do this, this stand up about like, people say, you don't. You want to have kids because you don't want to die alone.
Monet X Change
That's. I see that too.
Bob the Drag Queen
And he was like, well, actually, I think it's better. He's like, you won't die alone. There will be, like, you people with you more than likely, even if you don't know them for sure. He goes, but also, like you. The trade between, like. Basically, he was saying, like, dying. Dying is a very short process compared to raising a child.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I would rather not raise a little shithead for 30 years versus dying for six months.
Monet X Change
And also, there's no guarantee that your kids are gonna be there for you. Yeah, absolutely. There's no guarantee that your kids are gonna tend for you, take you to the bitch. How you know they won't leave you to be in an apartment in the Bronx with rats by yourself.
Bob the Drag Queen
They also have like. But also, even. Even if they want to. Who says they can't.
Monet X Change
They can't have the capacity.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, you gotta work.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
You gotta eat.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know what I mean?
Monet X Change
Yeah. I was telling you something I forgot.
Bob the Drag Queen
You were talking about the lady in the Bronx.
Monet X Change
There's something else you said.
Bob the Drag Queen
You were saying, move her across the country. You were talking about displacing this woman and abandoning her family.
Monet X Change
Why are you being so ridiculous?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't remember what it was.
Monet X Change
Are you so happy to sit next to me again?
Jacob
You're saying you wanna live alone. When you're older, you wanna live alone.
Monet X Change
No. Before we start talking about any of this, you talking about. Oh, memoirs. Jesus Christ. This podcast is ridiculous.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I think this podcast is actually really nice.
Monet X Change
It's ridiculously nice. So memoirs, right? Viola Davis was heavy. There are some I like, though. I talk about this all the time. Mariah Carey's memoir is so freaking good. Obviously, Cause I think I'm a fan of. I'm a fan of Viola Davis as well. But Mariah Carey's life. I'm a fan of her music and how she wrote some of this music and what makes hers great, which I do. When it's a memoir, I will buy the book and also buy the audiobook, the Meaning of Mariah Carey, so I can, like, read along and listen to them. Cause in it, like, Mariah is, like, so raw and so emotional. She's, like crying at times. She has one where she starts to. I think at her father's funeral, she starts singing this little out of mine,
Bob the Drag Queen
like in the thing.
Monet X Change
It's just. It's just really touching. And I was just. And I would listen to them on planes and Ryan, I'd be on the plane literally, just like this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Planes make you cry.
Monet X Change
Do you know about this? I've heard this. I don't know what the science is about that, though. Why does a plane make you cry?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't have the answer. But, I mean, you were crying. I've cried on. I cried during fall. Not Fall Guy. That. Who's the guy?
Monet X Change
He was Ryan Reynolds. The one.
Bob the Drag Queen
The Ryan Reynolds. I cried at the Ryan Reynolds movie, which is not Free Guy. I was boohooing. Boo hooing during Free Guy. It was gaggy.
Monet X Change
But I don't think that that's like. So the sofa's been. I've cried a bunch on my sofa, too.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sofa.
Monet X Change
Sofa. Sofas. My sofa. Do sofas make you cry? I cry on my sofa when I watch movies.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't. I don't. Cabin pressure reduces blood oxygen levels. It was called mild hypoxia. Weakening emotional regulation while low humidity causes dehydration. So maybe your couches. Maybe you live in. On a high elevation, but if you have a low.
Monet X Change
Low. If you have a low humidity and dehydration, then that would mean you would be devoid of. You would have water.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it doesn't dry up your teeth.
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Being dehydrated and you can't cry.
Monet X Change
I know, but I'm saying. But like, scientifically, like, if you have. If you. If you have dehydrated, you have less water, Wouldn't that be like something?
Bob the Drag Queen
But I think to not be able to have. Produce tears, your level of dehydration have to be. So would be like to the point of death almost.
Monet X Change
I know for sure. I'm just saying, like, scientific does make sense. Like if you say you're more hydrated, then, like, then more water will come you see what I'm saying?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know if it works, though, because I don't think. I don't think being more hydrated makes your eyes water more.
Monet X Change
Andy has hypohidrosis.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's sweaty. Yeah, that's a real fancy way to say he's sweaty, girl.
Monet X Change
We be in a cool room and this motherfucker sweating. I'm like, why are you sweating?
Bob the Drag Queen
What does he. Well, he doesn't keep the air.
Monet X Change
Yes, he does.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, he does.
Monet X Change
It is a war in the house.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it? Is it brutal, girl?
Monet X Change
Cause if Andy. Andy would sleep in 62 degrees. I'm like, that's. I cannot.
Bob the Drag Queen
Andy looks like someone who is. Who is hot all the time.
Monet X Change
And he looks like he is pretty hot.
Bob the Drag Queen
And he looks like he is like moving. And he looks. It looks like. It looks like moving. It looks like to have his body and to make it move around is
Monet X Change
work well, you know, when you. When you get your. When you get your metabolism faster, you. You do. You do. Your body gets. Has a higher. Like you. You're actually sweat more. You sweat more.
Bob the Drag Queen
You sweat a lot. Taylor. Because Taylor has a high metabolism.
Monet X Change
No, but I think. Cause he got his, like Andy through whatever. He's got his metabolism fast. So your body's like burning more calories throughout the day.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you sweating more these days?
Monet X Change
I do sweat a little. A little more. Not like crazy, but I've never been an overly sweaty person.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, no, not that.
Monet X Change
When I did drag when I'm on stage, you know, with stage lights and cartwheeling and back flipping and doing splits for two hours. Sure.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know who I feel bad for?
Monet X Change
Who?
Bob the Drag Queen
People with pit stains. I never get pit stains.
Monet X Change
I never have pit stains either.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I never get pit stains. I'd be like, damn, you got pits. This is like. This is gaggy.
Monet X Change
Oh, Kane. To see, like, do you want to. Do you want to feel. Did you feel bad for anyone? Apologize.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do. I mean, I feel bad. I didn't cause the pit stains. In fact, we have the air uncomfortably cold in here. I would like to say.
Monet X Change
No, it's nice today. Normally it's freezing in here.
Bob the Drag Queen
I know today, but like, like, like when Tom Sandoval had, like a pit stain, like, down to his, like, lower ribs, like, up to his shoulder. That. That is wild to me.
Monet X Change
Well, then the people get Botox to stop it. But I'm like, then where is it going? People get Botox to stop head like, eureka. O' Hara got Botox on her head to stop from sweating. On her head. I know other queens that got in their armpits because they hated their pit stains are fucking up their drag. I'm like, okay, you stopped it there. But where is it going? Does it just not come out anymore?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I don't know.
Monet X Change
Yeah, you know, So I don't understand.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want to talk to you about something that has been boggling my mind.
Monet X Change
Oh, God.
Bob the Drag Queen
So you know they're going to the moon right now?
Monet X Change
Yeah, girl.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're going to the dark side of the moon.
Monet X Change
They're not going to the moon. They're orbiting the room. They're not getting.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not landing on the moon.
Monet X Change
No. The goal to get on the moon is gonna be in 10 years. Within the next 10 years, they're going to actually land on the moon. So it feels like we're going backwards. Right. Cause we landed in 1970, 1969, and then now they're going to space to orbit around it to make sure we can land again. They're gonna be able to land in the next, like, within the next 10 years. We can land. So they're not landing on it.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's crazy. I thought they were landing. That's gaggy. No, but they're going to visit the dark side of the moon.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Bob the Drag Queen
And we, you know, you have never seen the dark side of the moon, Right?
Monet X Change
Because we always see the light side.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank you. But process this with me. I was trying to figure out the other day. You never see the other side of the moon because we are tidally locked with the moon.
Monet X Change
Right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Right.
Monet X Change
Correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
But the moon is rotating and we are rotating. The moon is orbiting us. We're orbiting the sun. So at some point, you would think that as you rotate, by the way, everywhere on Earth, all of us are all seeing the same side of the moon. How is the moon rotating? And we're rotating, but we only see one side of the moon. I've done a little bit of research. The moon. A full day on the moon is about 29 days on Earth. So it takes the moon 29 days to do one full rotation, where it takes us roughly 24 hours. Right. So how are we not seeing the other side of the moon? Be the moon, be the moon.
Monet X Change
Well, you know what? Let's take a little break, and then we can be the moon.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is stressing me out.
Monet X Change
I see.
Bob the Drag Queen
We'll be right back.
Monet X Change
You're sweating.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have hyperhidrosis.
Monet X Change
Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's go get ready For a new case.
Monet X Change
We're gonna crack this case and prove we're the greatest partners of all time. New friends. You are Gary Destiny. And your last name, The Snake Dream Team. Zootopia has a secret reptile population.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can watch the record break phenomenon at home. You're clearly working it. Zootopia 2.
Monet X Change
Now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's get real for a second. You know that voice in your head that's like, what if I'm secretly a bad person? Or, why did I just have that super disturbing thought? It's not just you. We've all got unwanted thoughts like this sometimes. But if those thoughts feel stuck, cause you intense distress, and you spend hours spiraling googling things and asking your friends for the millionth time, if you're a good person, maybe you might be dealing with more than just overthinking. It could actually be ocd. And if you're thinking no. OCD is about being super organized. No, no, no, no. The stereotypes have it all wrong. Actual ODC is being terrorized by unwanted thoughts that feel urgent and real and doing whatever you can to make the distress from those thoughts go away. Like constantly asking for reassurance, avoiding things, or replaying thoughts over and over, trying to solve them, or, you know, get R somehow. But the more attention you give OCD thoughts, the stronger they get. That's what makes OCD so debilitating. But it's also totally treatable when you get the right kind of help. Not all therapy works on all conditions. Okay? OCD needs a specialized type of therapy called Exposure and Response prevention, or erp. Not regular talk therapy, because that can actually make it worse sometimes. That's where NOCD comes in. They're literally the world's leading provider for OCD treatment. NOCD therapists specialize in treating OCD with ERP therapy. And they're trained by experts so they actually know what they're doing and how to help you. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and includes support between sessions. So you're not facing this alone. So if you've been struggling, don't wait. Go to nocd.com to book a free call and learn how to help today. That's nocd.com, time to take your power back. You know, before I found Warby Parker, buying glasses was literally my least favorite chore, y'. All, I don't like a tab.
Monet X Change
I do not like a to do list.
Bob the Drag Queen
It always felt so needlessly complicated. And overpriced. I felt like I needed a PhD and a spreadsheet just to understand why I was paying so much. And the style, everything always felt so outdated or just didn't fit my face right. I have a very big head. I have a huge face. So I need big, big glasses. This is why I'm genuinely obsessed with Warby Parker. They have completely simplified the entire process. If you're picky about how your frames look on your face, you have to use their virtual try on in the app. I've tried other versions of this that fel really junky and just kind of janky. But this one is wild. You just point the camera and you can actually tell how the frames are going to fit and look in real time. It is an actual game changer. I'm wearing the November in matte black right now. I get compliments on those constantly. You can just feel that they are made with premium materials. They don't feel flimsy like at all. The best part is their prescription glasses only start at 95. You used to have to choose between flimsy outdated frames or spending half your paycheck. But Warby Parker has fixed that.
Monet X Change
They really are a one stop shop for everything, y'. All. Contacts, glasses and even online eye exams. Plus if you want that in person touch. They have over 300 retail stores you can pop into. They also make using your insurance incredibly easy. You just enter your info and they automatically apply your benefits for you. Hey, y' all convenient is true. My assistant Ty just lost his glasses on a plane. He stepped into Warby Parker and they got him together expeditiously and they took good care of him. He found the perfect pair of glasses in him lickety split. And he loves them.
Bob the Drag Queen
And my assistant dear part of my staff lost their glasses when I was leaving my mother's mansion in St. Lucia
Monet X Change
dear for every pear sold, they distribute a pair to someone in need through their buy a pair. That's how Ty got his it was through the service give a pair program. They've already distributed over 20 million pairs, which is just incredible right now. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs@warbyparker.com wyvalry that's 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to W A r b y parker.com rivalry all right, so I'm rotating
Bob the Drag Queen
like this and you're rotating slower, right? But you're going around me now. Let's say we are. Let's say America's.
Monet X Change
Are we rotating the Same way I think we are. No, we're not.
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't know. You be saying stuff so definitively without an answer. But the Earth here is not rotating. But the Earth's not rotating, so we're having a problem. Can you Google, do we rotate the same direction? So, okay, so I'm rotating and you're rotating, but you're going around me. Right, so we're earth, you. America, L.A. is right here in this, this divot. This dot here in the divot. Okay, so how am I only seeing? How does, how does it make sense?
Monet X Change
Girl, I don't know. I'm not a physicist.
Bob the Drag Queen
But also bear in mind too, that we're moving like we're not stationary. We are like. So the, the sun, the whole Milky Way galaxy is. Imagine if we were rotating. But you're also in the back of a truck and the truck is driving. That's what we're doing. And we're also expanding at the same time. This does not make your head.
Monet X Change
No, because. Can I be really honest?
Bob the Drag Queen
Be honest.
Monet X Change
I think it's all bullshit.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's no way. Monat, don't come out of the Flat Earther.
Monet X Change
I do. I'm not a flat Earther, but I do think there's no way that we can. All this thing that these people are saying to us, there's no way to corroborate what they're saying.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, there is. Mathematics, science.
Monet X Change
And how are you? Are you there? Math, doing the equations?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, they're peer reviewed. Right. So what happens is one man. But what happened?
Monet X Change
All the peers are corrupt.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monat, that's. Oh, my God. This. Monet, please, I beg of you, back off this one, I beg of you.
Monet X Change
What happens with all the peers?
Bob the Drag Queen
We have never been able to get everyone on any accord, let alone people from different countries who have no association. NASA has no association with whatever the NASA of China is. In fact, they're in direct competition. So people in the NASA of China are going to try to disprove NASA or, or. But, but they're used. They're correct. So one scientist will make an observation using math and this and that and the other and science. And then another one will review that and be like, yes, I know how peer review works.
Monet X Change
I'm just saying, why. So then why can't we land on the moon already? Why. Why are we going backwards? How can we possibly land in I669?
Bob the Drag Queen
And now how many years?
Monet X Change
This is over 50. Over 50 years.
Bob the Drag Queen
We can't land again, Dale.
Monet X Change
Like, we can't land Again, we can only orbit it this time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, probably because of the dangers of landing. And also, we're using completely different, I'm assuming, better technology, I would imagine, but different still.
Monet X Change
Also, how are we getting these pictures of. Have you seen the new pictures? They drop. Of all the planets.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. These are from the James Webb Telescope.
Monet X Change
They're fierce. I love them.
Bob the Drag Queen
We can land on the moon but haven't returned since night. Primarily due to high cost, lack of political motivation, and the need to develop new safe technology for supply, for sustainable exploration rather than just short visits. But also, we were really trying to
Jacob
beat Russia to the Moon. So we kind of cut some corners and like, maybe did some unsafe choices just to get people there. And now we really don't care.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it came back. The James Webb Telescope is how we're getting these photos.
Monet X Change
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know what, the James Webb.
Monet X Change
And where is it located in space? Yeah, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's in our orbit. It's a satellite in our orbit.
Monet X Change
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
You want me to give a point? Show me where it is. I don't know. It's up there. It's a giant telescope.
Jacob
Can you just give us a.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's like roughly around there.
Monet X Change
Okay, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know what drives me crazy to realize the sky is below you.
Monet X Change
Sky is below.
Bob the Drag Queen
The sky is below you.
Monet X Change
Well, it's all around you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes. Yeah, bitch. The sky is down there, but it's
Monet X Change
not just down there. It's all around you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I know it's all around, but the fact that it's down there is. It blows my mind. The sky is below us.
Monet X Change
Do you know what? What makes me really sad is that I'll never get to go to another planet.
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't know that they're exploring Mars. It is not. Girl.
Monet X Change
We can't even land on the moon. The moon is maybe in the next 10 years. You think we're gonna get to Mars within my lifetime?
Bob the Drag Queen
I do, actually. I do believe. I do believe that landing on Mars will be a very.
Monet X Change
That we can go to Mars.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do believe so. Yeah. I genuinely believe that landing on Mars will be a possibility for a lot of money for you and I. You and I. Yes, I believe. I genuinely, genuinely in my heart of heart, believe that you will have the ability to take a very dangerous and very expensive trip to Mars in your lifetime.
Monet X Change
Chad, do y' all think that we'll be able to go to Mars in our lifetime? Well, maybe y'. All. In our lifetime. Are we going to Mars? No way.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think so. Father's crazy. They're investing A lot of infrastructure, a lot of money into trying to get to Mars.
Monet X Change
We're not going to Mars. I hate to break it to you.
Bob the Drag Queen
It ain't happening. People said this about the moon. Someone, someone. Ha, ha, ha. About the Moon. Someone's like, you never make it to the Moon. And now look at that person.
Monet X Change
Yeah, they probably said it in 1920, 18, 20s.
Bob the Drag Queen
They probably said in 1968, no, I bet a dollar, someone, we ain't gonna make the moon.
Monet X Change
Sure, there was someone that said in 1968, probably.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, there are people today who still believe the Earth's flat.
Monet X Change
I do not think the Earth is flat.
Bob the Drag Queen
I said some people.
Monet X Change
I don't think the Earth is flat.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm talking about the people behind you. Cause the sky is everywhere. But the James Webb telescope is taking all these photos, and it's also combining photos from the Hubble. Not the Hubble. The Hubble. The Hubble. The Hubble. They're also combining photos from the Hubble, and they're. So all these photos you see of space are like composite images, right?
Monet X Change
I do know that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Because it's like, you know, so. But also, I was looking into a scientist recently who was saying that basically, if there is life out there, which there more than likely is, they are more than likely the closest one to us is either millions of years ahead of us or millions of years behind us. There's a very small chance that we'd be advancing it even nearly the same time.
Monet X Change
Well, that's what always, like, gags me when I think of space is like, the time, you know, the time of it all. I'm like, like, how times are relative and how, like, we can be looking at something, but we're actually seeing something that's 3 million years ahead of us. Like that. That shit all blows my mind.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you know about the Voyager? Is it Voyager? What's the satellite that.
Monet X Change
The one that Matthew McConaughey went on in that movie.
Bob the Drag Queen
The very one. That's not Voyager. It's a camera they've sent out. And they were like, we're never gonna get it back. And it. But. But it. Like, it. If you look up the blue dot, it is the blue dot image, but as this. What photo?
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
What? Voyager 1. Yeah. So as Voyager 1 passed Pluto, and they were like, this is our last chance to communicate with this satellite. They were like, they use all their energy and turned it back to Earth and took a photo of Earth past Pluto.
Monet X Change
Okay. And then what happened after that?
Bob the Drag Queen
And now it's just out There now the Voyager is just in space. It is the furthest man made thing that has left Earth. That is the furthest from Earth.
Monet X Change
How big was this camera?
Bob the Drag Queen
How big is the camera?
Monet X Change
How big was it?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know.
Monet X Change
I mean like we're talking about, like.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, the Voyager is not just a camera. It's a lot of stuff. It's jets and it's.
Monet X Change
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
Satellites.
Monet X Change
But like, I wonder like how big is the actual camera on it? Like, is it like the 1980s recording Dream Girls? Like, is a camera this big?
Bob the Drag Queen
It's older than 1980s. It's. The Voyager is old. When did they launch the Voyager?
Monet X Change
Wow, space is wild.
Jacob
1990.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, no, but the camera might be older. You never know. But it's. It is. It is like. But it's old.
Monet X Change
Who is the one that does this?
Bob the Drag Queen
Testing it.
Monet X Change
Oh, it's.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is definitely older. Still years. It's older, by the way.
Jacob
1977.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, 1977.
Monet X Change
It's still not older then than the
Bob the Drag Queen
fucking 1977 is older than the 1980s.
Monet X Change
Oh, than dream Girls. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
So that was a fluke. That was not a fluke. Cause I have been studying this fucking thing. I'm a.
Monet X Change
So I was talking what Jacob said in the 90s, you're like, oh, you just capitulated to whatever the he said.
Bob the Drag Queen
You want me to not be right is so crazy.
Monet X Change
I'm not saying.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm just saying when Jacob it is older.
Monet X Change
When Jacob said the 1990s, you were
Bob the Drag Queen
like, oh, but what did we know?
Monet X Change
But you studied it so much what
Bob the Drag Queen
we know for a fact that I was right.
Monet X Change
If you said that to me about the animals, I'm like, hell no, bitch. I know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I was. Can you just say I was right?
Monet X Change
You were right about it, but when Jacob said the 1990s, you agree with it. So how much did you study?
Bob the Drag Queen
Delicious.
Monet X Change
How much did you study? If you ask Socrates to break down the Pythagorean theorem, honey, and you tell him A equals MC squared, he got like, equals mc.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did Socrates make the. You think Socrates the philosopher doing math equations?
Monet X Change
He was very smart.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think Socrates made the Pythagorean equation?
Monet X Change
He did not. He did not. I forget who did it.
Bob the Drag Queen
So.
Monet X Change
Pythagoras. Pythagoras. So if you tell Pythagoras.
Bob the Drag Queen
Speaking of just saying shit, let's go back to who just said shit.
Monet X Change
If Pythagoras says E equals MC squared, he's like, no, that's not true. I know it's A equals B squared, but whatever the fuck.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, to be clear, a world class mathematician versus a person who looks up things on the Internet. I'm not comparing myself to Pythagoras.
Monet X Change
No, but I'm saying. But if you know what you know, you know what you know. And you didn't know what you know.
Bob the Drag Queen
I did know. I was congratulated.
Monet X Change
So why would Jacob said he disagreed Monat.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was right.
Monet X Change
Why would Jacob say why did you. Why did you disagree? Because why did you fight for what you know is right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong and it hurts you that I was right. You are. You are coping.
Monet X Change
No, but why did you fight if you knew, why did you fight for it?
Bob the Drag Queen
Mona, your coping is crazy right now.
Monet X Change
Now I want you to fight for what you believe in, Bob. I want you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want. I want empowerment at the end of the day. I was right. I've emboldened you to get back to what I was saying. Saying they turned this camera back to earth, took a photo of it and now it is just out there. But it's also playing a song.
Monet X Change
They don't know. That song is so working.
Bob the Drag Queen
They don't know. They. They genuinely don't have. They'll have a who golden record containing 27 musical pieces including Bach, Beethoven and cherry buck cherries. Johnny B. Good side. Johnny B. Good.
Monet X Change
I mean Chuckberry, he was the guy
Bob the Drag Queen
from the one that wrote Johnny B. Goodside. Well, why is that what it was
Monet X Change
Beyonce by Morning Exchange. But why is that. Why does that name sound Chuck Berry? He was like.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's probably a famous musician.
Monet X Change
He's like one of the godfathers of rock and roll, right?
Bob the Drag Queen
I do not know. I don't know who Chuck Berry is.
Monet X Change
One of the. One of. One of the black architects of rock and roll. Yeah, Work.
Bob the Drag Queen
So this is. So this. These songs are just. This playlist in theory is still just playing out in space, which is wild to me.
Monet X Change
So wait, weren't we. Oh no, we're not doing the test today. Nevermind.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can do the test.
Monet X Change
No, I don't think we should. I mean, if you want to, we can.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't mind taking the test. It's a. It is a. The other day we were discussing Pokemon, then it went to Harry Potter somehow. What is the name of the Pokemon from Smash Brothers who. She's a trophy and she has a force field and she's wearing a gown and she has long hair.
Jacob
Yeah, that's a gardevoir.
Bob the Drag Queen
Gardevoir. That's the one, Taylor. Gardevoir. Did you say gardevoir? No, I was like, that's not what you showed me. You said, jinx, Chikorita. And then he said. And then you said. And he said, jinx. Anyway, so then we went over. So then we start talking about Harry Potter and see who knows more about Harry Potter.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think you know more? I. To be fair, I have never read a single Harry Potter book. I have only seen one movie one time. That's not true. I've seen two movies. I saw one on a plane, and I saw. And I saw one right when it first came out.
Monet X Change
I've seen all. I've seen all the movies.
Bob the Drag Queen
All of them.
Monet X Change
I don't read all the books, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you watching the TV show?
Monet X Change
No, I'm really. If it's gonna. It's gonna give J.K. rowling so much money, it's this. She's gonna stand to make billions of
Bob the Drag Queen
dollars off of it. She's already been there.
Monet X Change
I know, but I'm just saying.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm not watching. I'm not watching it.
Monet X Change
She's gonna stand to make billions more.
Bob the Drag Queen
To be fair, me not watching. This is not some big, bold stance for me because I. I don't. I don't.
Monet X Change
I love the movies.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have. I've. I've never cared for Harry Potter. And also, it's one of those movies that if you don't watch it, when it comes out, you go back and watch. You're like, this is ass, bro. Like, I. I feel the way about a lot of Disney shows, like these shows that you guys love because you grew up watching Disney. Someone. Years and years I watched it, but I'm like, this writing is bad. This is ass.
Monet X Change
I was talking to someone about this the other day. Like, I think we don't give Raven Simone so much credit for being such a brilliant comedian. Oh, she's brilliant and amazing physical comedian.
Bob the Drag Queen
You see her on Ms. Pat.
Monet X Change
Incredible.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's brilliant.
Monet X Change
But she was doing this when she was 12, 13, 14. On a Disney show.
Jacob
Four.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
On the Cosby Show.
Monet X Change
But her physical comedy really came to flight when she did. That's a Ravenheart show. And her and Amanda Bynes. Honestly, if you hang out with Raven
Bob the Drag Queen
for any short amount of time, you will be like, damn, this bitch is talented as shit.
Monet X Change
She's so talented. She's good at so many things.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right, we're gonna take the quiz. I'm ready.
Jacob
Okay. So for clarity, just so everyone can be Aware I was a die hard Harry Potter fan from age 5 to 18. It is not a fan of my currently engagements, but I do unfortunately now have a large working knowledge of Harry Potter. We are starting very easy and if y' all are doing really well, we can get harder.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Whoa.
Monet X Change
Get hard.
Jacob
What is the name of Harry Potter's owl?
Bob the Drag Queen
Harry Potter has an owl, which I definitely knew the whole time. And I feel like the owl's name is. Ready? Yeah. One, two, three.
Monet X Change
I think this is Ron's thing.
Bob the Drag Queen
I wrote who? Scabbers.
Jacob
Yes, Ron's rat is named Scabbers. That is correct.
Monet X Change
Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
But that is. Is who correct?
Jacob
No, the name of Harry's owl is Hedwig.
Monet X Change
Oh, is that where John Cameron Mitchell got it from?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
I know. No, I don't think you knew, you fucking musical murderer.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. I don't think you knew. I gotta be honest. No.
Jacob
Name one of the trials guarding the Sorcerer's Stone.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, we need to. To. We need.
Monet X Change
Need the.
Bob the Drag Queen
The. The easiest, easiest version.
Jacob
Hedwig. Yeah, that is the one of the easiest questions.
Bob the Drag Queen
Harry Potter's owl's name. I'm Cook. Okay.
Monet X Change
What are you asking?
Jacob
Name one of the trials guarding the Sorcerer's Stone.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jesus Christ.
Monet X Change
Oh,
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, wait. One of the guards.
Jacob
One of the trials. They had to go through multiple trials to get to the Sorcerer's Stone.
Monet X Change
It's almost like if you say the whole fucking question, you won't have more.
Bob the Drag Queen
Shut your bitch ass up.
Monet X Change
Jacob's literally saying the question you talking through.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right, I'm ready.
Jacob
Okay, chess. You are both right. That was really.
Monet X Change
You stole my answer.
Bob the Drag Queen
I did not. It's the.
Monet X Change
Roll the camera's back.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is literally.
Monet X Change
You cheated.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is literally the only thing I know.
Monet X Change
Because you're a cheater.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not Ron, not Hermione.
Monet X Change
You.
Bob the Drag Queen
She came to. She came to. To the Madonna tour and everyone's gagging.
Monet X Change
Who?
Bob the Drag Queen
Hermione.
Jacob
The.
Bob the Drag Queen
The girl. Emma. Emma. Emma Roberts is it? No, Emma Watson.
Monet X Change
Emma Watson Roberts is. Who's Emma Roberts?
Jacob
Niece and also an actor from American Horror Story.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Jacob
What is the levitation.
Monet X Change
Karen Jacobson.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's the really bitchy one on the thing.
Jacob
What is the levitation spell?
Monet X Change
Wait, what?
Jacob
What is the levitation spell?
Monet X Change
If you listen, because you won't. You won't focus. The levitation spell, huh?
Bob the Drag Queen
Are we doing extra points for spelling?
Monet X Change
Yes.
Jacob
No. Because I don't know how to spell it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wingardium Leviosa.
Jacob
There you go. You are both correct.
Monet X Change
You saw me writing it down.
Bob the Drag Queen
I did not see you writing Down.
Monet X Change
You're such a fucking cheater.
Bob the Drag Queen
It drives you.
Monet X Change
Can we have Jeopardy in, like, the little glass?
Bob the Drag Queen
It drives me. Drives you crazy that when I do well when I know stuff, it hurts your.
Monet X Change
When I know things because you are such a turn your thing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, it hurts you when I do well. So you must be in constant pain.
Monet X Change
Such a cheater.
Jacob
Okay, how much money did J.K. rowling donate to the 4Women Scotland fund to change the legal definition of a woman in the UK Equality act to refer to biological sex only and US Dollars?
Bob the Drag Queen
To be clear, I've already written mine.
Jacob
Whoever is closest will win.
Monet X Change
Okay, Are we doing prices right?
Jacob
Yeah. Whoever is closest wins without going over
Bob the Drag Queen
is what I'm saying.
Jacob
No, I guess whoever's closest.
Bob the Drag Queen
So we're not doing process.
Jacob
Yeah, we're not.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's right. Jacob's 4 million.
Monet X Change
I said 20 million.
Jacob
Oh, no, it's only US$88,000.
Bob the Drag Queen
That'd be me. That'd be me. Did I cheat again?
Monet X Change
No, you finally got. Yeah, you would know that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did I cheat again?
Monet X Change
Contributing against women.
Jacob
No.
Monet X Change
Wow.
Jacob
Name a defense against a Dark Arts professor.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ooh, a defense against the Dark Arts professor. Like a defense. Oh, wait. Name a defense against, like. Can we ask questions? No. No. You don't know.
Monet X Change
You're not the one making the rules, Jacob. No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, you gonna let this bitch tell
Monet X Change
you what to do?
Bob the Drag Queen
This is crazy. I'm gonna go with.
Monet X Change
1, 2, 3.
Bob the Drag Queen
Spells.
Monet X Change
Spells.
Jacob
Monat is right.
Bob the Drag Queen
What is it, Dolores? Umbrage people or defenses, bitch?
Monet X Change
A te. He said a teacher. A defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Spells.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, a defense against a teacher.
Monet X Change
No, a defense against a Dark Arts Arts teacher.
Bob the Drag Queen
A defense against the teacher. Dolores is the teacher.
Jacob
Defense class is Defense against the Dark Arts.
Bob the Drag Queen
I thought you meant name a defense like spells defend against Dark Arts teacher. No, that makes sense. Name a defense against a Dark Arts teacher. Like you are defending yourself against a Dark Arts teacher. I didn't know it was Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Listen. No, what I'm saying makes perfect sense. Name a defense against a Dark Arts teacher. Name a spell against a Dark Arts teacher.
Monet X Change
I think I got that point correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
You did get it. Right, but I'm saying what I'm saying actually doesn't make sense. All right, go ahead.
Jacob
Name one of the unforgivable curses.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right. Havada Kedavra. It's Avada Kedavra. So you get incorrect. No, we weren't doing spelling. We already covered that. We're not doing spelling. We covered that.
Monet X Change
That's Havana Cabana.
Jacob
Both correct.
Bob the Drag Queen
We already covered. We're not doing sprout.
Monet X Change
Are you going to Cuba?
Bob the Drag Queen
We already covered. We're not doing sprout.
Monet X Change
Havana Canana. What the hell?
Jacob
Who does the cooking?
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, wait, wait, wait. I have.
Monet X Change
Okay, he has one. I have one. Okay, I got it.
Jacob
Who does the cooking and cleaning at Hogwarts?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, it's the. I'm gonna just write this. I don't think it's right, but I'm gonna write this. But I feel like I know what he looks like, but I don't know his name. No, it's. It's.
Monet X Change
I don't think this is right, but it's the closest I can get.
Bob the Drag Queen
I wrote Dolby.
Monet X Change
Dobby, Dobby, Dobby.
Jacob
So the correct answer is house elves. It is a team of house elves. Dobby is a house elf, but he actually is not.
Monet X Change
There's not Dobby just doing that.
Jacob
Dobby doesn't want.
Monet X Change
It's not the fucking Dolby theater.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know what's not Haggard? Hagrid. You know. You know who's not even close?
Monet X Change
Dolby.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know who's not close?
Monet X Change
Hagrid is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hagrid is not. Hagrid is a giant and a wizard combined. He's a giant wizard.
Monet X Change
The Dolby. Yeah, you are.
Bob the Drag Queen
You are so.
Monet X Change
You're crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
You're trying to deflect because you were so.
Monet X Change
It's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
To be clear. I even knew that this person was one of the people who does it. You were just off.
Monet X Change
Dolby is crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
You're deflecting. Next one is wild.
Jacob
How much are the house elves at Hogwarts paid for their work?
Bob the Drag Queen
Putting their salary out there is kind of wild. Okay, all right, I have three pence.
Jacob
They are not paid for their work. That is correct, Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, they're slaves.
Jacob
Next question.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why are house elves. Are we just moving on from the slavery?
Jacob
Next question. Why are house elves not enslaved?
Monet X Change
Saved. Wait, why are they. Wait, why are they not.
Jacob
Yeah,
Bob the Drag Queen
I've already read mine. This feels like a Pokemon answer.
Monet X Change
Okay, 1, 2, 3.
Bob the Drag Queen
They want to do it.
Monet X Change
I said the patriarchy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Jacob
The correct answer is they are naturally subservient and they want to do the work.
Bob the Drag Queen
Looks like we're tired again. Because, you know, they say Pokemon battles are like. No, they like fighting. They want to fight. Which. They're violent creatures. Not me being. Up, up.
Monet X Change
You're not. We're the same.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, why does mine say six? You say five.
Jacob
Oh, no, the ones that we get right.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, we both got one. We Both got two. Both got three. We both got four.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right, here we go.
Jacob
What does Dumbledore claim to see in the mirror of Erised?
Bob the Drag Queen
Ooh, the mirror of Era Said. And Dumbledore. This is the. The big Gandalf looking guy. And he sees something in that mirror. I have mine. You're right. You writing the whole chapter?
Monet X Change
Okay. One, two, three.
Bob the Drag Queen
The Death of Harry Potter.
Monet X Change
I said the. The betrayal.
Jacob
Neither of those corrects. He claims to see himself carrying. Getting a pair of new socks for Christmas.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is crazy. This is crazy. He's like, girl, I got a cunty new sock.
Monet X Change
Is he gay in the book? He is.
Jacob
No, he's not gay in the books or the movies. After the books were published, like five years after, J.K. rowling tweeted that he was gay. So I guess allegedly. But there is nothing in the book's canonically about.
Monet X Change
It's transphobic, not homophobic. Yeah, got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
She might be homophobic.
Monet X Change
Let's not.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's not give her too much credit. Writing gay care. Does it make you.
Monet X Change
Does it make you.
Jacob
What is the name of the student of Chinese descent at Hogwarts who Harry has a crush on?
Monet X Change
I know this.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have mine. And I feel very confident in this one. We need an answer.
Monet X Change
It's not it, but it does have this letter in the. This letter is right.
Bob the Drag Queen
Amanda.
Monet X Change
It's not Amanda.
Jacob
No. Her name is Cho Chang.
Monet X Change
Oh, damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
So you were wrong on all courts, but there is an R, not a. Not an R anywhere in the name. So you were wrong just saying stuff.
Jacob
Okay, next one. Is Cho Chang a plausible name for a person of Chinese descent?
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, he's asking, is Cho Chang a real Chinese name?
Jacob
Like, if you went to China, would
Bob the Drag Queen
you realistically, how is this a Harry Potter? Just answer the question, bitch. I'm gonna. I already have my answer. And I'm gonna. I'm just adding this last part as an idea, as a notion I have. I guess in theory you can name your kids anything you want, but I have a answer. What are you writing? This is a podcast. People are listening. Okay. I wrote no because it's two last names.
Monet X Change
I said yes because Chinese people are free to be whoever they want to be. So you, Jacob, you tell us if they can't be who they want to be. You, Jacob, you tell us.
Jacob
You know, that is fair, Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
But it's not correct.
Jacob
I think generally the consensus is that,
Bob the Drag Queen
no, it is not, because it's two last names. Yikes. But I know people with two last names. Though I know a few people. Two last names. All right, go ahead.
Jacob
What mythical creature guards the gold at Gringotts Bank?
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't have two last names.
Monet X Change
Oh, wait, wait.
Bob the Drag Queen
Naomi has two last names.
Monet X Change
Great. What.
Jacob
What mythical creature guards the gold of Gringotts Bank?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm actually. I think I'm better at this than I thought I was, but I need you to pay attention to stuff.
Monet X Change
Okay? One, two, three.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cerberus.
Monet X Change
It's the dragon.
Jacob
That's the dragon.
Bob the Drag Queen
What is Cerberus? The dog.
Jacob
Server is the three headed dog that guards.
Bob the Drag Queen
He does guard something.
Jacob
Yeah, he got the underworld in Greek mythology. He's the. The big dog from Hercules.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cerberus.
Monet X Change
Yeah. All right.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God, we're tied. This is crazy.
Jacob
What disease in Harry Potter does J.K. rowling say is a metaphor for HIV and AIDS?
Bob the Drag Queen
I have an answer. Okay, Covid,
Monet X Change
I said the black lung.
Jacob
No, the answer is lycanthropy. Or werewolf.
Bob the Drag Queen
Being a werewolf, I thought the Gulan is lycanthropy. Lycanthropy. Is it? Yeah. Like you never heard of what we call a lycanthrop.
Jacob
Oh, like a throat.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like enthropy.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're so is it. Is it. Is it sexually transmitted? Like, if you. A werewolf, do you become a werewolf? No.
Jacob
They have to bite you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Where?
Jacob
Anywhere.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh.
Jacob
Or scratch you even. I think it's a scratch. A scratch or a bite.
Monet X Change
He's the guy. Yeah. This one of the professors turned into one in. In three.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is that in Harry Potter? I don't know.
Jacob
I mean, not explicitly. No.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's no, like, sex scenes written in.
Monet X Change
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
Monet X Change
It's for, like, young teens.
Bob the Drag Queen
There are books with fucking in them for young teens. 100%. There's a book about crack that we read in high school. Dinky Hawker shoots smack.
Monet X Change
You are from Atlanta.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's about. You ever heard Dinky Hawker shoot smack? It's a book. It's a book that tells about the
Monet X Change
dangers of drug use. We are wholesome people from New York. We don't deal with that kind of stuff.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not all from New York.
Monet X Change
Yes, we're all from New York.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not? No. They go to college in New York
Monet X Change
State and now they're from New Yorkers.
Jacob
Okay, so this will be all from New York. This will be the tiebreaker and the final question.
Bob the Drag Queen
Get it?
Jacob
Well, this is. I think if you both get it wrong, then we'll move on to a new one.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
Jacob
Name the four founders of Hogwarts. You get a point for each one. You name
Bob the Drag Queen
the four founders.
Monet X Change
Huh?
Bob the Drag Queen
What's. What's his fucking name? What's the one?
Jacob
I don't even give you a hint. Their last names are each of the Hogwarts houses. So they have a first name.
Monet X Change
Jacob. That's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's. No, you cannot tell Jacob what to do.
Monet X Change
New question.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you cannot tell Jacob what to do.
Monet X Change
New question.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you don't get to decide this. You don't get to be.
Monet X Change
That is crazy. You saying their names are the.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's. You don't get to be a contestant and an arbiter.
Monet X Change
Chad. Wasn't that crazy? Thank you.
Bob the Drag Queen
That is crazy. Well, we live in crazy world, honey.
Monet X Change
Helping your man out like that is crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
That was helping you, toots?
Jacob
No, sorry. You need. The correct answer will be their first name and their last name.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, I got this. And then. Okay, I have. Are you ready? I'm ready. I have Carl Gryffindor, Harry Hufflepuff, Jane Slytherin and Ray Ravenclaw.
Monet X Change
So no. Rachel Ravenclaw, Howie Hufflepuff, Greg Gryffindor and Sam Slytherin. They're all alliterations. So I think the alliterations win.
Jacob
They all are alliterations, but none of you are at the ratings.
Bob the Drag Queen
Harry Hufflepuff is an alliteration. Just to be clear.
Monet X Change
Only one. They're all alliterations. Honey. You're still wrong, Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
You did not get them right.
Jacob
Okay, next. What does it mean if you get splinched?
Bob the Drag Queen
You get splinched?
Jacob
Yes. We're just going to. Somebody gets one right and then that person wins.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right. I have my answer. All right. What?
Monet X Change
I have.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jesus Christ. This is a listening podcast.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have you lose your power for a short time.
Monet X Change
I say when you get DP'd on the Quidditch Court.
Jacob
Neither of those are correct.
Monet X Change
Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
What is it?
Jacob
It's when you mess up your teleportation spell and you leave part of your body behind.
Monet X Change
Oh, yes. When I get in the flea thing and you die.
Jacob
No. I mean, you can, but mostly it's just painful. Like you leave like you lose a finger.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like an earth. Something you don't. Like, lose your head.
Jacob
Report to have happen.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jesus Christ.
Monet X Change
Oh, my God. Easier.
Jacob
Oh, my God.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. That was actually really easy. What purpose. I felt.
Jacob
How did Moaning Myrtle die?
Bob the Drag Queen
Mody Myrtle.
Jacob
Moaning Myrtle. How did she die?
Bob the Drag Queen
Myrtle died. Moaning Myrtle is definitely dead. And.
Monet X Change
Got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
Monet X Change
I believe to meet your maker.
Bob the Drag Queen
I believe she got hit with a
Monet X Change
Spell that is such. That's so vague.
Bob the Drag Queen
She got hit with a spell.
Monet X Change
She drowned.
Jacob
She got killed by the basilisk.
Monet X Change
The basilisk. Was she in the toilet? Bath. The toilet, yeah.
Jacob
Cause she was being bullied, so she went to the bathroom to cry. And the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is in that bathroom. So then the snake was coming out to make its killing, and she was right there, and it killed her.
Monet X Change
It ate her.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or just bitter as well, I think
Jacob
allegedly it kills you by looking at you with its eyes. It kills you just by seeing you.
Monet X Change
Jesus Christ. Okay, maybe it's.
Bob the Drag Queen
Name.
Jacob
Name.
Bob the Drag Queen
She does actually.
Jacob
She has a heart Out. In five minutes, name one creature in her garage. Name one creature they encounter in the forbidden forest.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, a creature in the forbidden forest
Jacob
that they encounter in the books or the movie.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many creatures are there? How many. How many options do we have to get it right?
Jacob
Many.
Bob the Drag Queen
Many. Okay, I have mine.
Monet X Change
I have mine, too.
Bob the Drag Queen
A cyclops.
Monet X Change
I said a centaur or a tarantula.
Bob the Drag Queen
No one.
Jacob
To be fair, Cyclops is wrong. And both of those answers are correct, so Monet is indeed the winner.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, we're only taking one, so get
Monet X Change
down on your knees.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are they spelled correctly? Gravel. Are they spelled correctly? Say, thank you, Daddy. Monet, you love transphobes. Now let's do the Kanye west quiz. And I bet you'll rack it up.
Monet X Change
Sure will. That one that kill me stronger.
Bob the Drag Queen
So Monet is the most transphobic of us all. Confirmed.
Monet X Change
You got eight the fuck up.
Bob the Drag Queen
Honestly, I lost by one point. And having never read a book and only seen two movies, one under duress. Honestly, I'm not mad at myself.
Monet X Change
Why are you under duress when you watched it?
Bob the Drag Queen
I was working the Jekyll and Hyde club, and everyone was like, let's go watch the fifth Harry Potter movie. And I was like, well, I want to hang out with you guys, but I don't. I haven't seen any of the other ones. I feel like I'll just be lost.
Monet X Change
The fifth one's a good one. That's. That's the.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's one where Dumbledore's hands all up.
Jacob
Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore's hand is up in seven.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it wasn't seven. Maybe I. Maybe. Maybe his hand wasn't up. I will tell you the year. It was around 2010. So does that give you a clue? It was around 2010 when I saw this movie.
Monet X Change
I don't even know that. It was the fifth one. That's a good one.
Bob the Drag Queen
Which. Which movie is that.
Monet X Change
So what's.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it was around 2010. It doesn't mean it was 2010.
Jacob
Oh, yeah, it was. It was seven. Part one.
Bob the Drag Queen
Seven, part one. My God. I seen. Yeah, so I saw seven. Okay, part one.
Monet X Change
What about the dragon? This has been a great time. Thank you so much for having me over. By the way, these. I guess when this episode comes out. These are. Are we spoiling it? The episode hasn't come out yet.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know. Well, then let's just hold tight.
Monet X Change
Never mind then.
Bob the Drag Queen
One ain't love to tease it. All right, y'.
Monet X Change
All.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I thought I didn't know
Monet X Change
when this was coming out Anyway, Vom, this has been a great time. Thank you for having me. Have a good day. Good job, pal. We'll see you guys next time on the podcast. Thank you so. Much.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ra.
Originally aired: April 20, 2026
On this episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change take listeners on a hilarious, sharply candid journey through the winding paths of memoirs, personal tasks, pop culture tangents, space conspiracies, and a competitive Harry Potter trivia showdown. True to form, their sibling-esque chemistry, playful bickering, and infectious energy shine as they dissect the heaviness of autobiographies, the trauma of apartment living, the existential dread of the cosmos, and the absurdities of sweat, teeth, and pronunciation quirks.
[01:43], [24:50], [28:35]
[03:00], [03:27], [04:18]
[06:55], [07:44]
[13:41], [14:50]
[32:59], [33:58], [40:22]
[21:26], [23:39]
[24:32], [25:12]
[50:50], [51:46]
[52:07]–[70:08]
This episode is a quintessential snapshot of Sibling Rivalry’s blend of chaos, candor, and compassion—an uproarious, relevant, and always “wild” hour with two of drag’s sharpest wits.