The One About Memoirs

Summary

Sibling Rivalry — “The One About Memoirs”

Originally aired: April 20, 2026

Episode Overview

On this episode, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change take listeners on a hilarious, sharply candid journey through the winding paths of memoirs, personal tasks, pop culture tangents, space conspiracies, and a competitive Harry Potter trivia showdown. True to form, their sibling-esque chemistry, playful bickering, and infectious energy shine as they dissect the heaviness of autobiographies, the trauma of apartment living, the existential dread of the cosmos, and the absurdities of sweat, teeth, and pronunciation quirks.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Memoirs & Emotional Toll of Autobiographies

[01:43], [24:50], [28:35]

• Bob confesses to giving up on memoirs: “I kind of gave up on memoirs and biographies. I was listening to Viola Davis’s while doing Runyon Canyon and— it is a very sad.” ([01:32], [23:56])
• Monet relates, having only gotten to chapter three of Finding Me by Viola Davis due to its heaviness: “It is pretty tough. It's about her growing up in Rhode Island. The fires. The rats. Pretty heavy.” ([24:06])
• Both agree some memoirs are hard to stomach but necessary, with Monet celebrating Mariah Carey’s as both touching and emotionally raw: “Mariah Carey’s memoir is so freaking good… she starts singing at her father’s funeral. It's just really touching.” ([29:21])

2. Childhood Reads, Animorphs Revival, and Book Nostalgia

[03:00], [03:27], [04:18]

• Monét and Bob compare childhood reading: Babysitter’s Club, Goosebumps, and Animorphs (Monét's favorite).
• Jacob shares breaking news about an upcoming Animorphs reboot produced by Ryan Coogler: “They're rebooting it. Ryan Coogler from Sinners is producing...” ([03:27])
• Fun animal-morphing hypotheticals: Monet would be a beaver (“I want to morph into a beaver!” [03:41]), Bob, a peregrine falcon (“...it’s the fastest animal in the world.” [06:04]).

3. Skydiving, Thrill-Seeking, and Fear of Heights

[06:55], [07:44]

• Bob states zero desire for dangerous thrills: “I do not have the thrill-seeking gene. There’s nothing in me that wants to be scared... I don’t want to be in dangerous situations.” ([06:55])
• Monét recounts jumping from Auckland's Sky Tower, but clarifies it wasn’t freefall (“That’s not really... you’re not really free falling.” [07:53]).
• They marvel at the wildness of social media daredevils, Alex Honnold’s climbs, and discuss grip strength.

4. Pronunciation Quirks & Audience Teasing

[13:41], [14:50]

• Monét challenges Bob on mocking her pronunciation of words like “hair/air/clair”; wants it to stop: “[Bob], it’s too much. I want you to not talk about the way I say words...” ([13:54])
• Bob insists this is part of Monét’s charm and even coins “Claire it up” as a future segment.

5. Space, Conspiracies & Existential Questions

[32:59], [33:58], [40:22]

• Spiraling cosmic questions: Why can’t we see the moon’s far side? Why haven’t humans been back to the moon?
• Bob explains tidal locking, orbits, and the difficulty of returning to the moon: “We can land on the moon but haven’t returned since... due to high cost, lack of motivation, need for new safe technology...” ([42:20])
• Both question space science: “All the peers are corrupt!” (Monét [41:15]), and Bob pleads: “Monét, please, I beg of you, back off this one, I beg of you.” ([41:17])
• Voyager 1, the “pale blue dot” and how far human probes have gone (“It is the furthest manmade thing that has left Earth.” [46:13]); existential sadness over likely never visiting other planets.

6. Personal Tasks & Games Segment

[21:26], [23:39]

• Each had a covert word-repetition task: Bob had to say “this is wild” 15 times, Monet had to use “hair/air/clair” words 15 times. Annoyed bickering ensues over unclear instructions from Jacob.
• Playful fighting over who accomplished their word-task most skillfully.

7. Apartment Hell: Rats, Deep Cleaning, and Viral Compassion

[24:32], [25:12]

• Monét describes a viral social media video of a 73-year-old Bronx woman suffering in a rat-infested NYC apartment. Both consider fundraising to help, expressing deep empathy: “I can't watch old black ladies cry.” (Bob [25:57])
• Discuss the social housing crisis, the struggles of the elderly, and how to mobilize support.

8. Pop Culture Tangents – Harry Potter, Raven-Symoné, and More

[50:50], [51:46]

• Both admit to being only casual Harry Potter fans; launch into an expert-moderated trivia quiz with Jacob.
• Monét comments on not supporting the new Harry Potter series due to J.K. Rowling’s controversies: “She's gonna stand to make billions more… I’m not watching it…” ([51:08])
• Celebrate Raven-Symoné as an underappreciated genius in physical comedy: “You hang out with Raven for any short amount of time… this bitch is talented as shit.” (Bob [52:01])

9. Competitive Chaos: Harry Potter Trivia Battle

[52:07]–[70:08]

• A rapid-fire quiz covers owls, trials, spells, Hogwarts founders, House-Elf labor, and more.
• Iconic moments:
  • Bob, dead wrong about Dumbledore’s deepest desire (“The Death of Harry Potter” [61:00])
  • Monét nailing “dragon” as Gringotts’ guardian ([64:05])
  • The duo bickering over alliterations and “Dolby/Hagrid” confusion
  • Jacob mediating, dropping lore, and providing fact-checks
  • Ends with Monét declared winner: “Get down on your knees.” ([70:15]) Bob retorts: “Are they spelled correctly? Gravel. Are they spelled correctly? Say, thank you, Daddy. Monet, you love transphobes. Now let’s do the Kanye west quiz. And I bet you’ll rack it up.” ([70:16])

10. Philosophical and Absurd Closer

• The show winds down jabbering about when they saw specific HP films, hosts teasing un-aired projects, and the pros and cons of living alone versus raising kids—plus more classic Bob and Monét digs.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I kind of gave up on memoirs and biographies. I was listening to Viola Davis’s while doing Runyon Canyon and it is. It is very sad.”
  — Bob, [01:43]
• “You have started a complex… a complex with my fans online. How I pronounce things.”
  — Monét, [13:41]
• “Monét, please, I beg of you, back off this one, I beg of you.”
  — Bob, after Monét questions scientific consensus, [41:17]
• “She starts singing at her father’s funeral… on the plane… just like this.”
  — Monét on Mariah Carey’s memoir, [29:21]
• “We can land on the moon but haven’t returned… due to high cost, lack of motivation, need for new safe technology…”
  — Bob, [42:20]
• “Voyager is just in space. It is the furthest manmade thing that has left Earth.”
  — Bob, [46:13]
• “Claire it up. That should be a segment.”
  — Bob, [14:33]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:43 — Bob discusses giving up on memoirs/biographies
• 03:27 — Animorphs reboot revelation, animal-morphing fun
• 06:55 — Skydiving and thrill-seeking gene talk
• 13:41–14:50 — Pronunciation debates & “Claire it up”
• 21:26–23:39 — Word-task game results and playful chaos
• 24:06–25:12 — The weight of Viola Davis’ memoir and viral Bronx rat video
• 28:35 — Debating the purpose of having children vs. living alone
• 29:21–29:34 — Mariah Carey memoir emotionality & crying on planes
• 32:59–43:00 — Space, the moon, science skepticism, "the sky is below you", and space photography
• 50:50–70:08 — Harry Potter trivia quiz
• 70:15–72:00 — Results, sign-off banter

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Episode Structure

• Hilarious conversational riffs
• Brief moments of serious empathy and social consciousness
• Lighthearted pop culture exploration
• Interactive games and quizzes
• Playful (and deeply competitive) sibling-style bickering

---

This episode is a quintessential snapshot of Sibling Rivalry’s blend of chaos, candor, and compassion—an uproarious, relevant, and always “wild” hour with two of drag’s sharpest wits.

Transcript

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[Monet X Change]

And I'm Monet X Change.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And this is sibling rivalry. On this week's episode, we talk about

[Monet X Change]

autobiographies, we do some witch and wizard

[Bob the Drag Queen]

trivia, and we find out what made Monet say this.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob. Jacob, do not out of me right now. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God. This my. Please, I. I beg of you, back off this one. I kind of gave up on memoirs and biographies.

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I was listening to Viola Davis's while doing Runyon Canyon, and it is. It is a very sad.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, hold. So, Jacob, text is our task. And Viola trying to start the podcast before I can get mine under my belt.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, they were texting us before the podcast.

[Monet X Change]

He literally just sent it to me at 10, two seconds ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it a paragraph?

[Monet X Change]

What? Jake, I don't understand what this means.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Give it to me.

[Monet X Change]

Get the fuck out of here. Wait, okay, hold on. Let me just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hold on. Jesus Christ. Is it in your public education? What? This can't be. I can't wait to read this and be like, this can't be that hard to understand. Is there a typo in it?

[Monet X Change]

No, it's just a little unclear what the actual action is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you believe it's clear, Jacob?

[Monet X Change]

It's a little confusing to me.

[Jacob]

Okay, yeah, I'll text you to clear it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is wild.

[Monet X Change]

You're wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I've been described as wild before. Anyone would say you Literally have a

[Monet X Change]

whole tour of something about. This is wild. A lot of it's about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You said I've been described as wild before. I'm not arguing.

[Monet X Change]

Who, yourself?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. No one's arguing, Monet. No one's arguing. I said I've been described as. Okay, wait.

[Monet X Change]

Let me clear it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ.

[Monet X Change]

This is wild. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is the wildest, actually.

[Monet X Change]

Where the Wild Things Are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was saying I.

[Monet X Change]

Great book and movie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've never seen the movie. What? And honestly, I don't think I've ever read one of the books ever.

[Monet X Change]

Were you a child?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was a child for about 17 years.

[Monet X Change]

What happened to you? What happened to your child that you never read?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We just didn't read where the Wild Things Are. I read Babysitter's Club. I read Goosebumps.

[Monet X Change]

Did you read Animorphs?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did not read Animorphs.

[Monet X Change]

Animorphs was also really good. They made a TV show about it on Nickelodeon that was super dark.

[Jacob]

Have you heard the news?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Jacob]

They're rebooting it. Ryan Coogler from Sinners is producing the Animorphs reboot.

[Monet X Change]

You're out, Jacob. Do not fucking lie to me right now. Jacob did not fucking lie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is this because you love Animorphs or Ryan Coogler?

[Monet X Change]

Animorphs. I read all the books. I used to love the show, even though it was dark.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What animal would you morph into?

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, I would want to morph into a beaver.

[Jacob]

So Animorphs can turn into any animal they touch, they acquire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, it's not just one animal. See, I never watched Animorphs, but each

[Jacob]

Animorph has a signature animal that they use for color.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your sixth genre would be a beaver.

[Monet X Change]

A beaver for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Apparently they're very strong.

[Monet X Change]

I know. That's what I want to be with.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you Google a beaver's strength companion?

[Monet X Change]

Wait, hold on. Edible TV series in development at Disney. Ryan Coogler's Proximity Media to produce also. He's not directing, but his production company is doing it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't imagine Ryan Coogler going to direct every. I can imagine. What's going to happen is Ryan Coogler will direct the first episode, and then the rest will be shelled out to other people. Oh, my God.

[Monet X Change]

This is great new Jacob, Why didn't you send this to me earlier?

[Jacob]

I didn't know you were an Animorphs girl.

[Monet X Change]

I'm a huge Animorph. I did a whole thread thing about it. People were coming at me for liking animal.

[Jacob]

Dillon, you need a photo shoot like the covers.

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, that's a good idea.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet morphing into a beaver. Why'd I be.

[Monet X Change]

I want to be a beaver. You just chose beaver just to piss you off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you build? Yeah, that's a big.

[Monet X Change]

I'm really good at building in. Say with me one. I said on three, bitch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You did not say. You said and I said. But you didn't say on 3. To be clear, you didn't say it with me.

[Monet X Change]

Supposed to be my best friend. Supposed to be tapped in. Tap the in and wake up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm tapping out.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think it's time for s to do her fair share anyway of best friending around here.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, how's your bite force? My beavers have a really strong bite

[Monet X Change]

and people make fun of my big teeth all the time. I have very big teeth. Anything that have like, weirdly big teeth, I think my teeth are normal size. His are just tiny, tiny teeth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy does have small teeth.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your first four are very chickly. I mean, same. I also have big, big teeth as well. But also you have a big head. So I think that it fits in your.

[Monet X Change]

Try to say the word big is another word to describe me. Put big somewhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Big teeth, big head, big hands, big feet, and a big heart. Why would you hit me?

[Monet X Change]

Because I don't want you to touch me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Currently, you're gonna ask what animal I would morph into. This is wild.

[Monet X Change]

What animal would you morph into?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, you don't have to ask that question. I. Okay. Personality wise, I feel very ducky. You know, I'm a duck as far as my personality goes. But if I could choose the animal that I morph into, I would probably become a paragon falcon. It's the fastest animal in the world.

[Jacob]

That's one of their signature flight birds. They also have signature flying birds.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Animals.

[Jacob]

Yeah. One of them has signature.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's the fastest animal.

[Jacob]

I think it's Cassie's signature.

[Monet X Change]

Cassie. Oh, my God, Cassie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shout out to Cassie, Cassie, if you're watching.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, so you want to be what? Falcon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Paragon falcon.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is the fastest animal in the world.

[Monet X Change]

Well, a cheetah is the fastest land animal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The peregrine falcon is the fastest animal in the world.

[Monet X Change]

How fast does it fly?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's find out. I'm going to guess. I think a peregrine falcon can fly up to 85 miles an hour.

[Monet X Change]

I'm going to say 110.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The answer is 200 miles an hour.

[Monet X Change]

And by the Price is white. Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Price is white. You would.

[Monet X Change]

You would with your white ass warfare sitting over there.

[Jacob]

It's not. When they're flying with their wing, they have hunting dives. So they see a mouse and they dive. They like do a freef fall dive through the air and that's when they hit that speed. So their flight like flapping fall out

[Bob the Drag Queen]

of a plane faster than I. If I could, I could get up to 500. Girl, if I hit the pike 100%.

[Monet X Change]

Should we. Should we go skydiving?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, no.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We should not. We should, but I would never stop you from doing it.

[Monet X Change]

Why? Why would you do it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's. I don't have the thrill seeking gene. There's nothing in me that wants to be scared outside of like a. Maybe a haunted house or a scary movie. I don't want to be in dangerous situations. I don't find it thrilling. I do. There's nothing about that, though. I don't usually see people walking on the edge of buildings.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And they do it. They get on the edge of a. They get. And they do a. No, no.

[Monet X Change]

This is just a walking. I seen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And they do a backflip. Yeah. Like you're literally on the edge of a skyscraper and you just hit up. This is wild.

[Monet X Change]

Something about that is weird. There's something fake about that. I don't think there's no. People are risking them. I've seen these videos. They were on these like 50 story buildings and doing the craziest stuff to them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People seek thrills.

[Monet X Change]

Monet, that's insane to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you jumping out of planes or you want to. You did jump off a building one time. There's footage of it.

[Monet X Change]

Footage is I jumped off of the Sky Tower in Auckland, New Zealand. I forget how long it was, but I was like. But that's not really. You're not really free falling.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause you're attached to until you're not.

[Monet X Change]

You're going like the mechanics of the things are going down with you. You're not just jumping without any support.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But until that carabiner, they didn' change it fast enough.

[Monet X Change]

But it's like seven carabiners on you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying, you know what. You know who would never fall from that building under any accidents? Me. Because I would never jump off of it. You would never catch me.

[Monet X Change]

Beyonce did it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I do not strive to Beyonce. I'm not mad at Beyonce. I'm not jumping off of a building. This is. This is wild. Oh yeah.

[Monet X Change]

This guy, he just did so. What's his name again?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He did it on TikTok and Instagram. It was streaming everywhere.

[Monet X Change]

Alex Honnold. Yeah, he climbed this building in Taipei. He had Taipei. The skyscraper. And he like, with no help, no support, just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is crazy. Just nothing.

[Monet X Change]

Also because my grip strength is not great. I'm strong, but. And my right hand more so than my left hand. My right hand grip strength is. I don't know, because I jerk off my right hand.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's prob. That's what I was getting at.

[Monet X Change]

No, but you think it'll be better though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But your right hand is stronger.

[Monet X Change]

No, my right hand is not as my left hand is stronger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, I should have bought the grip tester. And you could have literally tested to see which one has.

[Monet X Change]

No, you tried it last time and yours doesn't work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mine does work. Well, last time you checked because my grip was higher than yours.

[Monet X Change]

No, it literally would not work. Last time. You were like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It did not happen. I've tested the grip tester.

[Monet X Change]

It works anyway.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think you be rewriting history?

[Monet X Change]

That's not it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

His hands look. No, it's like a.

[Monet X Change]

It's a yellow, like orange thing, right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it is white and gray.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you would white.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You squeeze it and you squeeze it and. I did.

[Monet X Change]

I know. Do you think he has soft hands?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can look at his hand. They like crocodile skin. This man absolutely does not have soft hands under any circumstances. This is a brutal, brittle, abrasive touch.

[Monet X Change]

He looks like he has tiny hands, though. And you think you need big hands for that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

His hands are the size of his head. How do those hands look tiny?

[Monet X Change]

Because he's a small person. This guy's like 5 7.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How did you know that?

[Monet X Change]

Because I was interested by the story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Were you comparing him to the building? How tall is this man?

[Monet X Change]

He's 5 7. How much? How much you want to bet? How much you want to bet?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

20 bucks.

[Monet X Change]

20 bucks?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I want something. I want something more substantial.

[Monet X Change]

I may give you gifts. You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want them both.

[Monet X Change]

No, you can't have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Actually, you know what if I'm right. Whoa, whoa. If he's not 5 7, and I don't mean within an inch.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no. You have to get the right height. Not just so I get one thing. You get the whole range of things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't say I knew this man's height, okay?

[Monet X Change]

I'm saying you had to get something.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me tell you what I want. If you're wrong, you have to smash it. Smash it as soon as you're wrong. You have to smash it.

[Monet X Change]

If I'm wrong, I will smash one of these.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, yours. You will smash this one and then smash this ugly ass ashtray.

[Monet X Change]

This ashtray is very cute, by the way. You're such a hater. Look how cute this is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you gonna do what I want?

[Monet X Change]

So what? So. And if you're wrong, I don't know

[Bob the Drag Queen]

how tall this man is. Okay?

[Monet X Change]

So I'm saying the deal I will do is you also have to get one right? Like, whoever, you have to guess the height.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, well, no, I'm not claiming to know how tall this man is.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, then I don't want the deal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I believe this man is 5 foot 9.

[Monet X Change]

Do you hear what I'm saying?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Girl, I hear what you're saying, but to be clear, I never claim to know how tall this man is. You said you looked it up and

[Monet X Change]

you know how tall he is, and he's 5 7. Okay, but you need to guess a height of seven.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm not betting anything. I'm guessing 5 9.

[Monet X Change]

Then we're moving.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're gonna find out.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so then if you're wrong, I get to smash something in here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm not part of the. I don't have a part of it.

[Monet X Change]

Then you can't smash anything of mine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to smash it. I want to fight tall he is, and we're going to find out.

[Jacob]

Now, this man is 5 11.

[Monet X Change]

So 57 plus 4.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why did you make that up? Why would you. What's your obsession? This is. This is wild. This. This is wild. This behavior is wild. You're a wild person.

[Monet X Change]

11.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Really? You were just like, he's shorter than the building, so he's got to be short.

[Jacob]

I feel like if you're a rock climber, you need to be tall so you can, like, do the crazy and grab whatever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The man and his hands were gigantic. They were the size of his head.

[Monet X Change]

Well, there was nothing to, like, scare his head. I mean, they were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was holding.

[Monet X Change]

This man looks like Jacob. So I was going off of Jacob. Jacob doesn't have a pretty big head. Jacob has a pretty average head.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, this man has similarities to Jacob. He has curly hair, he's white. He has dark eyebrows.

[Monet X Change]

If I would just. If I'm in this room and I had sunglasses on and I did this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm Jacob. I mean, I would. I. But I. I see Jacob every day. I don't see Jacob every day, but I've seen Jacob enough times over the Past almost nine years to. I would be like, no, that's not Jacob. But if I wasn't wearing my glasses and he was really far away. No, because he's five' eleven. Jacob. By the way, I don't know if you ever dated a short guy before.

[Monet X Change]

I have not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Baby, don't lose him in a store. Baby, we be at Best Buy. Jacob doesn't clear the. He doesn't clear the aisles. Who clears the aisles at a store, you big bitch.

[Monet X Change]

You got something of you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Store.

[Monet X Change]

Seven fucking big black motherfuckers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your nipples are above it.

[Jacob]

Five minutes to finish your task. Lost in stores.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

The what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was putting us back on track.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can find Andy Big Ass. You can hear those thunderous footsteps anywhere and listen for the sounds of eating.

[Monet X Change]

Let's let you know again, everyone podcast said that Andy had.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Everyone did not say that. You were so hyperbolic.

[Monet X Change]

It was lit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you know how you went from everyone.

[Monet X Change]

It was squit. But you're recanting the story. Well, knowing everyone thinks Andy has ugly feet, and that's literally not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Someone in this room just went.

[Monet X Change]

They never seen it on the Patreon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, but he's seen them in real life. Now, there are cracks in the pavement outside of Monet's house. I don't know where they're from, but I've seen Andy walk in those spots is all I'm saying. Do you want soft hands?

[Monet X Change]

I have soft hands where my calluses aren't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Those are your hands?

[Monet X Change]

No, my calluses are my whole hand.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let me dry this off and let

[Monet X Change]

me just get her fit. Why are your hands wet? Don't touch with your wet ass hands.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Motherfuckers.

[Monet X Change]

Talk with you. Are you nervous?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm moisturized.

[Monet X Change]

Are you nervous to complete your task?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've already done my test. Mine is already complete, by the way. Let me see your hand. This isn't part of my task.

[Monet X Change]

I think it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I promise you this is not part of my.

[Monet X Change]

I think it is. I'm not going to touch you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, then afterwards, I'm going to touch your hands.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Do you know. Can I tell you how you have started a complex and I fit in mine, too? A complex with my fans online.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the complex with this?

[Monet X Change]

How I pronounce things. And I really want to confront you about it on the podcast today.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, we're on the podcast.

[Monet X Change]

It's too much, Bob. I want you to not talk about the way I say words like hair, air bear.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Claire, you're gonna Say all those and

[Monet X Change]

expect me to not give anything dear.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And what do you want me to. How do you want me to respond to that?

[Monet X Change]

To just let it go and let God. I'm gonna test you. Nair in there. Are you in the clear? You know, my mother had the horse that was a mare.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that. I want to say. I think that Clari it up is part of your charm.

[Monet X Change]

And also, I say claire it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Also, Clare it up is now. I now say Clari it up. Like, I can't stop saying claire it up. Claire it up. That should be a segment. Claire it up. But you have.

[Monet X Change]

You have just. You have lied into. You have. I don't say what you say. I'm saying I don't say clar it up. I say Claire it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire. That's the same. But I say stuff funny, too. Yeah. And I don't.

[Monet X Change]

I let you live.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't.

[Monet X Change]

If you were. If you pronounce Claire weird, I would not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't pronounce clear word.

[Monet X Change]

How do you pronounce it clear? That's what I said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I say outside is a clear blue sky.

[Monet X Change]

You just said Claire.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, Monet. You're saying you would say outside is a clear blue. You would say, outside is a clear blue sky.

[Monet X Change]

Y' all are watching gaslighting happening in real life.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, they are laughing because they hear you saying Claire.

[Monet X Change]

No, they're laughing at you being ridiculous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to ask the room. Do you guys hear a difference? The way me and Monae are saying clear.

[Monet X Change]

This is not a studio audience.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're all saying yes, and there's nothing wrong with that. My favorite thing you said when you said near tears on the podcast once, near tears sent me to the. And I'm not saying how you said it. Cause you asked me not to do that, but when you said near tears, I was near tears. Near tears.

[Monet X Change]

Near tears.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it's part of your charm. It's really, really charming.

[Monet X Change]

So where Shannon said, declare it up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think clear it up is a segment on maybe your Monet expose should be called clear it Up, Claire it up. Yeah, let's clear it up. Oh, my God. That's such a good. I've done so many great branding opportunities for you. And you. You've offered me, like, a few over the years, too.

[Monet X Change]

Do you just sit home and just.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm rarely.

[Monet X Change]

I just jerk.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You.

[Monet X Change]

I just. Just masturbate on your ideas. You think you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do think I have really good ideas.

[Monet X Change]

Clearly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was good. My guy. See why can't you leave it alone? Complimenting gear. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. I've been having so much fun partnering with them because between drag gigs, filming and touring, I'm always on the move. And hotel life can be pretty draining. I'm serious, y'. All. Booking stays with Airbnb has changed the game. When I go on tour, I need a home base that actually feels like a home. I love having extra space to spread out. And it's those extra, like, everyday comforts,

[Monet X Change]

you know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like sitting at a real kitchen table or having a cozy living room to decompress in that makes it all the different, you know what I mean? Plus, chatting with hosts gives you that local perspective you just can't get anywhere else. It makes me feel connected to the neighborhood instead of just passing through it.

[Monet X Change]

So three years ago, I had a fabulous birthday in Malibu, booked through Airbnb. And y', all, I'm telling you, it was a house overlooking this mountain in Malibu. All my friends came, the pool was gorgeous. We had. It was this palatial estate. Like, I felt like I was living life the way I meant to live life. It was so luxurious, so grand. And Airbnb made this experience. The mother tucking tea. Maybe I should do it again this year. Traveling this way just feels more authentic and human. So glam up your trip by using Airbnb to find an amazing place to stay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Support of this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference? Well, baby, you are not alone. That's exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you want and make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to Waldenu. Edu and take that first step. Walden University Set a Course for Change. Certified top rate by Chef this message

[Monet X Change]

is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a Course for Change. Want to make real change in your life, career and community? At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W with online programs designed for working professionals. You'll gain hands on skills to take on real world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step. Visit Waldenu. Edu Walden University Set a Course for Change Certified to operate by Chevrolet all

[Bob the Drag Queen]

right, I finished my task. Why are you sitting on your sunglasses?

[Monet X Change]

I just have them here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you wear sunglasses?

[Monet X Change]

You know, I can't really be a sunglasses. Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what it is? Obviously, this is the point of sunglasses, but, oh, hey, look at this one

[Monet X Change]

here with the Gucci glasses. Why do you become African when you do that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I'm doing a Nigerian accent.

[Monet X Change]

No, but to you, that's Jamaican also. And Beijing and Trinidad here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My Jamaican is very different. Let me hear it. If I was going Jamaican, I'd say, look at these hair glasses. And if I was doing, hey, look at these hair glasses.

[Monet X Change]

What's Beijing?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bajan. It's more ban. I don't even know what Beijing is. Where is that? Beija? I don't even know what Beijing is.

[Monet X Change]

Beijing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is Beijing?

[Monet X Change]

Barbados.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, they're Bajan.

[Monet X Change]

They're Beijing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not Barbadian.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I guess I never knew that.

[Monet X Change]

Really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Bajans. Yeah, they're Asian Parisians. Where are they from? And Persians are from.

[Monet X Change]

Are from Iran.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, it's too dark. I'm wearing shades, and I'm like, it is. It's actually genuinely too dark.

[Monet X Change]

First of all, you literally wore them on the first episode of Traitors. So what was your. What was your thing there?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I don't wear them the whole time, and they're often down here, so I can see over them.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that's the point of sunglasses. You route.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know. I think what it is, and I've learned this from having a partner with blue eyes. He's experiencing the world. Did you know I. Apparently, when you have light eyes, the world is brighter to you.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Because when your eyes are brown, you have melanin in your eyes. It helps shield some of the reflection of the sun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I didn't know it worked that way, because what happened? We were walking on Runyon, and I was like. I remember Jacob being needing sunglasses. I need sunglasses. And I was like, what do you mean? I always thought sunglasses just kind of like, the only time I ever need sunglasses when I'm driving down Sunset, when the sun is setting. Because the sun actually does set right over. I didn't realize that's why they call it Sunset Boulevard. Sunset Boulevard.

[Monet X Change]

Sunset Boulevard. Correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It sets right over. And if you're driving east, it's no, west.

[Monet X Change]

That's where the sun sets on the west.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you're driving west, it's hellish. You're rising. You know how I remember sun rising the east? Because of Easter. Because Jesus rose in the east. Easter. He's rising. And I think that's why they call it that.

[Monet X Change]

I just know it because of school.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think it's Easter. Because he has risen.

[Jacob]

No, it's called Easter because Estera was a pagan God who everyone worshiped. And they were trying to get the pagans to convert to Christianity. So they co opted Estera into Christianity by making Easter.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exactly. You did not know that?

[Monet X Change]

Yes, I did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I associate Easter him rising sun rises in the east.

[Monet X Change]

I just know that the sun rises in the east because that's just from school. Just learning. Wait, what was your task?

[Jacob]

Well, you have to guess what each other's tasks were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, here's something to do with those glasses.

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have something to do with these glasses.

[Monet X Change]

Why do you need the glasses?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because you never. It's not that bright in here. And you're gagging. Because I'm right. You're not right. Well, then what was it? Can I actually read it? I want to read it and see what was. So let me tell you first, okay?

[Monet X Change]

My task was to say the word something with an ear 15 times, okay? But what Jacob said first was you must say hair, air, clair, dare, nair, or anything that rhymes with that 15 times. So I was like, do I have to say like. Do I have to say like different ones? Or can I say the same one over and over when it says or

[Bob the Drag Queen]

any female rhymes with that, Right? I'm saying like, did I have to

[Monet X Change]

do rhyming ones like here? Yeah. Cause it says no, but I can say the same word 15 times. So I can say here, here, here, here, here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I want. Can I May I read it? This is why I think it's clear. Woo you. Why are you sending Jacob nudes?

[Monet X Change]

Because we like the. It's how we get down. Are you mad?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And why are they mine? No, you must say hear, ear, clear, dear, near, or anything that rhymes with that. 15. That honestly feels really good.

[Monet X Change]

That is not clear. That's not clear to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's not clear about it? Because I didn't know if.

[Monet X Change]

Could I say the same word over and over again?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So when it says or right, I

[Monet X Change]

didn't know if it was saying I had to say or that thing with it to rhyme with it. You see what I'm saying?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you know what mine was?

[Monet X Change]

Yours was. It wasn't something to do with the hands. I was just trying to extend because I hadn't done mine. So I was trying to extend this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I feel your hands though? Yeah,

[Monet X Change]

it's the calluses that are rough.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I mean there are soft parts to Your hands, you're actually. They've gotten softer.

[Monet X Change]

Have they?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, they actually have gotten much softer than the last time. I remember, like taking a catalog of

[Monet X Change]

how your hands feel because I haven't had stress over the past two and a half months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What happened?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's been three months, by the way.

[Monet X Change]

Three. Has it been three months?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was gone for. It's been more. I was gone for three months.

[Monet X Change]

No, but I saw you. So we're ducking on the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But your hands are softer than they used to be.

[Monet X Change]

Your task was. I don't know, I couldn't tell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I had to say this is a while 15 times. And I think I might have clocked in around 20. Jacob.

[Monet X Change]

Were you counting, Jacob?

[Jacob]

I stopped after 15, but yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Guess who. Back in the house, honey.

[Monet X Change]

I won mine too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's your. Like I was saying before I had to give up on autobiographies.

[Monet X Change]

Not auto, your memoirs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Memoirs and autobiographies. Why? So I was listening to Viola Davis while doing Runyon Becoming.

[Monet X Change]

No, that's Michelle Obama.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't remember the name of hers, but it was. It was sad. It was really sad. Like Viola Davis. It was called. What's it called?

[Monet X Change]

Finding Me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Finding Me.

[Monet X Change]

Funny you say that. Cause Annie got me this book and I started reading it as well. And I thought about chapter three, because it is pretty tough. It's about her growing up in Rhode Island.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The fires.

[Monet X Change]

The fires pretty heavy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The house she lived in, the apartment below code.

[Monet X Change]

The rats.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't even. I think I may have blocked some of it out. I think maybe I will go back and finish it at some point. I mean, it is her story. Yeah, it is her story, which is like, that's real. But geez Louise, there is this.

[Monet X Change]

I just saw this thing, this tick, this reels among this. Oh, my God, this poor woman. I think it's going viral. She lives in the Bronx on 173rd street and conquerors Avenue in the Bronx. And she's this like 73 year old woman. She's living in this apartment in New York City that is riddled with rats. And not just like tiny rats, these huge fucking rats. And she's 73 years old, she's retired, she can't work, and she's like stressed out. She's like. In this video, ABC7, she is sobbing and she's like, I just want someone to please help me with the situation. I'm not asking to leave my apartment. If that's what I have to. I'll do It. But she's like, I am on. You know, I'm on Social Security. I cannot afford to just pick up and move. And watching this old Dominican lady tell this story, it is so sad to watch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, why don't we. Can you bring it up, Jacob? And does she have a Gofundme?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know if there's a Gofundme.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would like to give some money to her GoFundMe for sure.

[Monet X Change]

But I'm like, how do we, like, help this woman get, like, in the Bronx, there is a thing where ABC7, the Bronx rat lady, I'm sure will come.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you watch the cleaning videos?

[Monet X Change]

Yes. I literally just saw one yesterday. So there she is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw this deep cleaning. Can you look? If she has to go find me, I don't need to see the video. I trust Monet's recounting of it, but I just want to see if there's a GoFundMe and we can donate to it and direct our fans to go donate as well. No one's gonna Gofundme yet.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Jake will find it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this. Oh, it looks so sad. I can't. I can't watch old black ladies cry.

[Monet X Change]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But anyway, I'm gonna get very emotional about that. This lady, they deep clean these houses. They deep clean these houses. And this old lady was in this house. She was, like, just really, really old. But because she couldn't move around, she. Her mobility had been obviously deeply affected. Then, like, she had. It was like. It was like cobwebs everywhere. And this lady who just flies around just cleaning up these houses.

[Monet X Change]

See, I don't have the stomach to do it. I would not be able to because I've seen some of these videos. Some of these little houses are. They're in. They're down. Bad girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I feel like I would do them. I don't really have that skill set. Like, as one of those, like, people who, like, help. Quora. Spicy is her name. Is that her name? Cora.

[Jacob]

Spicy and Spicy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cora and Sp. Okora and. And who's Spicy?

[Jacob]

Maybe her cat or maybe something.

[Monet X Change]

It's a good name for a cat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Spicy Spice is a good name for a cat. Can you click it?

[Jacob]

It's not going through for some reason.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Got.

[Jacob]

Seems to be a dead link.

[Monet X Change]

So I don't know if she's gonna understand.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe she reached her goal. But I would. If we finally. I would. I'm gonna go ahead and donate to this lady's GoFundMe, and if you all want to if we. If we find it, which I believe we have the capacity. The link is in the bio right now. You can help get this lady. We should get this lady up in a high rise.

[Monet X Change]

Can we bring her here to la?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

It says Bad Gateway when I click

[Monet X Change]

through the link, so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Interesting. I hope that this lady gets her money.

[Monet X Change]

We move her just across the country to Los Angeles.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She probably has family in the Bronx. I would imagine all people want to be in the family.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. See, when I get older, I just want to be alone. The older I get, I just want to be alone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy watching this at home, and he

[Monet X Change]

was just like, he doesn't watch a podcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Girl. I saw this guy do this, this stand up about like, people say, you don't. You want to have kids because you don't want to die alone.

[Monet X Change]

That's. I see that too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he was like, well, actually, I think it's better. He's like, you won't die alone. There will be, like, you people with you more than likely, even if you don't know them for sure. He goes, but also, like you. The trade between, like. Basically, he was saying, like, dying. Dying is a very short process compared to raising a child.

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I would rather not raise a little shithead for 30 years versus dying for six months.

[Monet X Change]

And also, there's no guarantee that your kids are gonna be there for you. Yeah, absolutely. There's no guarantee that your kids are gonna tend for you, take you to the bitch. How you know they won't leave you to be in an apartment in the Bronx with rats by yourself.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They also have like. But also, even. Even if they want to. Who says they can't.

[Monet X Change]

They can't have the capacity.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, you gotta work.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You gotta eat.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what I mean?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. I was telling you something I forgot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were talking about the lady in the Bronx.

[Monet X Change]

There's something else you said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You were saying, move her across the country. You were talking about displacing this woman and abandoning her family.

[Monet X Change]

Why are you being so ridiculous?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't remember what it was.

[Monet X Change]

Are you so happy to sit next to me again?

[Jacob]

You're saying you wanna live alone. When you're older, you wanna live alone.

[Monet X Change]

No. Before we start talking about any of this, you talking about. Oh, memoirs. Jesus Christ. This podcast is ridiculous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I think this podcast is actually really nice.

[Monet X Change]

It's ridiculously nice. So memoirs, right? Viola Davis was heavy. There are some I like, though. I talk about this all the time. Mariah Carey's memoir is so freaking good. Obviously, Cause I think I'm a fan of. I'm a fan of Viola Davis as well. But Mariah Carey's life. I'm a fan of her music and how she wrote some of this music and what makes hers great, which I do. When it's a memoir, I will buy the book and also buy the audiobook, the Meaning of Mariah Carey, so I can, like, read along and listen to them. Cause in it, like, Mariah is, like, so raw and so emotional. She's, like crying at times. She has one where she starts to. I think at her father's funeral, she starts singing this little out of mine,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like in the thing.

[Monet X Change]

It's just. It's just really touching. And I was just. And I would listen to them on planes and Ryan, I'd be on the plane literally, just like this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Planes make you cry.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know about this? I've heard this. I don't know what the science is about that, though. Why does a plane make you cry?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't have the answer. But, I mean, you were crying. I've cried on. I cried during fall. Not Fall Guy. That. Who's the guy?

[Monet X Change]

He was Ryan Reynolds. The one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Ryan Reynolds. I cried at the Ryan Reynolds movie, which is not Free Guy. I was boohooing. Boo hooing during Free Guy. It was gaggy.

[Monet X Change]

But I don't think that that's like. So the sofa's been. I've cried a bunch on my sofa, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Sofa.

[Monet X Change]

Sofa. Sofas. My sofa. Do sofas make you cry? I cry on my sofa when I watch movies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't. I don't. Cabin pressure reduces blood oxygen levels. It was called mild hypoxia. Weakening emotional regulation while low humidity causes dehydration. So maybe your couches. Maybe you live in. On a high elevation, but if you have a low.

[Monet X Change]

Low. If you have a low humidity and dehydration, then that would mean you would be devoid of. You would have water.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it doesn't dry up your teeth.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Being dehydrated and you can't cry.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but I'm saying. But like, scientifically, like, if you have. If you. If you have dehydrated, you have less water, Wouldn't that be like something?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I think to not be able to have. Produce tears, your level of dehydration have to be. So would be like to the point of death almost.

[Monet X Change]

I know for sure. I'm just saying, like, scientific does make sense. Like if you say you're more hydrated, then, like, then more water will come you see what I'm saying?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know if it works, though, because I don't think. I don't think being more hydrated makes your eyes water more.

[Monet X Change]

Andy has hypohidrosis.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's sweaty. Yeah, that's a real fancy way to say he's sweaty, girl.

[Monet X Change]

We be in a cool room and this motherfucker sweating. I'm like, why are you sweating?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What does he. Well, he doesn't keep the air.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, he does.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, he does.

[Monet X Change]

It is a war in the house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it? Is it brutal, girl?

[Monet X Change]

Cause if Andy. Andy would sleep in 62 degrees. I'm like, that's. I cannot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy looks like someone who is. Who is hot all the time.

[Monet X Change]

And he looks like he is pretty hot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he looks like he is like moving. And he looks. It looks like. It looks like moving. It looks like to have his body and to make it move around is

[Monet X Change]

work well, you know, when you. When you get your. When you get your metabolism faster, you. You do. You do. Your body gets. Has a higher. Like you. You're actually sweat more. You sweat more.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You sweat a lot. Taylor. Because Taylor has a high metabolism.

[Monet X Change]

No, but I think. Cause he got his, like Andy through whatever. He's got his metabolism fast. So your body's like burning more calories throughout the day.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you sweating more these days?

[Monet X Change]

I do sweat a little. A little more. Not like crazy, but I've never been an overly sweaty person.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, no, not that.

[Monet X Change]

When I did drag when I'm on stage, you know, with stage lights and cartwheeling and back flipping and doing splits for two hours. Sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know who I feel bad for?

[Monet X Change]

Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People with pit stains. I never get pit stains.

[Monet X Change]

I never have pit stains either.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I never get pit stains. I'd be like, damn, you got pits. This is like. This is gaggy.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, Kane. To see, like, do you want to. Do you want to feel. Did you feel bad for anyone? Apologize.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do. I mean, I feel bad. I didn't cause the pit stains. In fact, we have the air uncomfortably cold in here. I would like to say.

[Monet X Change]

No, it's nice today. Normally it's freezing in here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know today, but like, like, like when Tom Sandoval had, like a pit stain, like, down to his, like, lower ribs, like, up to his shoulder. That. That is wild to me.

[Monet X Change]

Well, then the people get Botox to stop it. But I'm like, then where is it going? People get Botox to stop head like, eureka. O' Hara got Botox on her head to stop from sweating. On her head. I know other queens that got in their armpits because they hated their pit stains are fucking up their drag. I'm like, okay, you stopped it there. But where is it going? Does it just not come out anymore?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, you know, So I don't understand.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to talk to you about something that has been boggling my mind.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you know they're going to the moon right now?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're going to the dark side of the moon.

[Monet X Change]

They're not going to the moon. They're orbiting the room. They're not getting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not landing on the moon.

[Monet X Change]

No. The goal to get on the moon is gonna be in 10 years. Within the next 10 years, they're going to actually land on the moon. So it feels like we're going backwards. Right. Cause we landed in 1970, 1969, and then now they're going to space to orbit around it to make sure we can land again. They're gonna be able to land in the next, like, within the next 10 years. We can land. So they're not landing on it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's crazy. I thought they were landing. That's gaggy. No, but they're going to visit the dark side of the moon.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And we, you know, you have never seen the dark side of the moon, Right?

[Monet X Change]

Because we always see the light side.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. But process this with me. I was trying to figure out the other day. You never see the other side of the moon because we are tidally locked with the moon.

[Monet X Change]

Right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Right.

[Monet X Change]

Correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But the moon is rotating and we are rotating. The moon is orbiting us. We're orbiting the sun. So at some point, you would think that as you rotate, by the way, everywhere on Earth, all of us are all seeing the same side of the moon. How is the moon rotating? And we're rotating, but we only see one side of the moon. I've done a little bit of research. The moon. A full day on the moon is about 29 days on Earth. So it takes the moon 29 days to do one full rotation, where it takes us roughly 24 hours. Right. So how are we not seeing the other side of the moon? Be the moon, be the moon.

[Monet X Change]

Well, you know what? Let's take a little break, and then we can be the moon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is stressing me out.

[Monet X Change]

I see.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We'll be right back.

[Monet X Change]

You're sweating.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have hyperhidrosis.

[Monet X Change]

Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's go get ready For a new case.

[Monet X Change]

We're gonna crack this case and prove we're the greatest partners of all time. New friends. You are Gary Destiny. And your last name, The Snake Dream Team. Zootopia has a secret reptile population.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can watch the record break phenomenon at home. You're clearly working it. Zootopia 2.

[Monet X Change]

Now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's get real for a second. You know that voice in your head that's like, what if I'm secretly a bad person? Or, why did I just have that super disturbing thought? It's not just you. We've all got unwanted thoughts like this sometimes. But if those thoughts feel stuck, cause you intense distress, and you spend hours spiraling googling things and asking your friends for the millionth time, if you're a good person, maybe you might be dealing with more than just overthinking. It could actually be ocd. And if you're thinking no. OCD is about being super organized. No, no, no, no. The stereotypes have it all wrong. Actual ODC is being terrorized by unwanted thoughts that feel urgent and real and doing whatever you can to make the distress from those thoughts go away. Like constantly asking for reassurance, avoiding things, or replaying thoughts over and over, trying to solve them, or, you know, get R somehow. But the more attention you give OCD thoughts, the stronger they get. That's what makes OCD so debilitating. But it's also totally treatable when you get the right kind of help. Not all therapy works on all conditions. Okay? OCD needs a specialized type of therapy called Exposure and Response prevention, or erp. Not regular talk therapy, because that can actually make it worse sometimes. That's where NOCD comes in. They're literally the world's leading provider for OCD treatment. NOCD therapists specialize in treating OCD with ERP therapy. And they're trained by experts so they actually know what they're doing and how to help you. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and includes support between sessions. So you're not facing this alone. So if you've been struggling, don't wait. Go to nocd.com to book a free call and learn how to help today. That's nocd.com, time to take your power back. You know, before I found Warby Parker, buying glasses was literally my least favorite chore, y'. All, I don't like a tab.

[Monet X Change]

I do not like a to do list.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It always felt so needlessly complicated. And overpriced. I felt like I needed a PhD and a spreadsheet just to understand why I was paying so much. And the style, everything always felt so outdated or just didn't fit my face right. I have a very big head. I have a huge face. So I need big, big glasses. This is why I'm genuinely obsessed with Warby Parker. They have completely simplified the entire process. If you're picky about how your frames look on your face, you have to use their virtual try on in the app. I've tried other versions of this that fel really junky and just kind of janky. But this one is wild. You just point the camera and you can actually tell how the frames are going to fit and look in real time. It is an actual game changer. I'm wearing the November in matte black right now. I get compliments on those constantly. You can just feel that they are made with premium materials. They don't feel flimsy like at all. The best part is their prescription glasses only start at 95. You used to have to choose between flimsy outdated frames or spending half your paycheck. But Warby Parker has fixed that.

[Monet X Change]

They really are a one stop shop for everything, y'. All. Contacts, glasses and even online eye exams. Plus if you want that in person touch. They have over 300 retail stores you can pop into. They also make using your insurance incredibly easy. You just enter your info and they automatically apply your benefits for you. Hey, y' all convenient is true. My assistant Ty just lost his glasses on a plane. He stepped into Warby Parker and they got him together expeditiously and they took good care of him. He found the perfect pair of glasses in him lickety split. And he loves them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And my assistant dear part of my staff lost their glasses when I was leaving my mother's mansion in St. Lucia

[Monet X Change]

dear for every pear sold, they distribute a pair to someone in need through their buy a pair. That's how Ty got his it was through the service give a pair program. They've already distributed over 20 million pairs, which is just incredible right now. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional prescription [e-mail] wyvalry that's 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to W A r b y parker.com rivalry all right, so I'm rotating

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like this and you're rotating slower, right? But you're going around me now. Let's say we are. Let's say America's.

[Monet X Change]

Are we rotating the Same way I think we are. No, we're not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't know. You be saying stuff so definitively without an answer. But the Earth here is not rotating. But the Earth's not rotating, so we're having a problem. Can you Google, do we rotate the same direction? So, okay, so I'm rotating and you're rotating, but you're going around me. Right, so we're earth, you. America, L.A. is right here in this, this divot. This dot here in the divot. Okay, so how am I only seeing? How does, how does it make sense?

[Monet X Change]

Girl, I don't know. I'm not a physicist.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also bear in mind too, that we're moving like we're not stationary. We are like. So the, the sun, the whole Milky Way galaxy is. Imagine if we were rotating. But you're also in the back of a truck and the truck is driving. That's what we're doing. And we're also expanding at the same time. This does not make your head.

[Monet X Change]

No, because. Can I be really honest?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Be honest.

[Monet X Change]

I think it's all bullshit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no way. Monat, don't come out of the Flat Earther.

[Monet X Change]

I do. I'm not a flat Earther, but I do think there's no way that we can. All this thing that these people are saying to us, there's no way to corroborate what they're saying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, there is. Mathematics, science.

[Monet X Change]

And how are you? Are you there? Math, doing the equations?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, they're peer reviewed. Right. So what happens is one man. But what happened?

[Monet X Change]

All the peers are corrupt.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monat, that's. Oh, my God. This. Monet, please, I beg of you, back off this one, I beg of you.

[Monet X Change]

What happens with all the peers?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We have never been able to get everyone on any accord, let alone people from different countries who have no association. NASA has no association with whatever the NASA of China is. In fact, they're in direct competition. So people in the NASA of China are going to try to disprove NASA or, or. But, but they're used. They're correct. So one scientist will make an observation using math and this and that and the other and science. And then another one will review that and be like, yes, I know how peer review works.

[Monet X Change]

I'm just saying, why. So then why can't we land on the moon already? Why. Why are we going backwards? How can we possibly land in I669?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And now how many years?

[Monet X Change]

This is over 50. Over 50 years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We can't land again, Dale.

[Monet X Change]

Like, we can't land Again, we can only orbit it this time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, probably because of the dangers of landing. And also, we're using completely different, I'm assuming, better technology, I would imagine, but different still.

[Monet X Change]

Also, how are we getting these pictures of. Have you seen the new pictures? They drop. Of all the planets.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. These are from the James Webb Telescope.

[Monet X Change]

They're fierce. I love them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We can land on the moon but haven't returned since night. Primarily due to high cost, lack of political motivation, and the need to develop new safe technology for supply, for sustainable exploration rather than just short visits. But also, we were really trying to

[Jacob]

beat Russia to the Moon. So we kind of cut some corners and like, maybe did some unsafe choices just to get people there. And now we really don't care.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it came back. The James Webb Telescope is how we're getting these photos.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what, the James Webb.

[Monet X Change]

And where is it located in space? Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's in our orbit. It's a satellite in our orbit.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want me to give a point? Show me where it is. I don't know. It's up there. It's a giant telescope.

[Jacob]

Can you just give us a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's like roughly around there.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what drives me crazy to realize the sky is below you.

[Monet X Change]

Sky is below.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The sky is below you.

[Monet X Change]

Well, it's all around you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. Yeah, bitch. The sky is down there, but it's

[Monet X Change]

not just down there. It's all around you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know it's all around, but the fact that it's down there is. It blows my mind. The sky is below us.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know what? What makes me really sad is that I'll never get to go to another planet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't know that they're exploring Mars. It is not. Girl.

[Monet X Change]

We can't even land on the moon. The moon is maybe in the next 10 years. You think we're gonna get to Mars within my lifetime?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do, actually. I do believe. I do believe that landing on Mars will be a very.

[Monet X Change]

That we can go to Mars.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do believe so. Yeah. I genuinely believe that landing on Mars will be a possibility for a lot of money for you and I. You and I. Yes, I believe. I genuinely, genuinely in my heart of heart, believe that you will have the ability to take a very dangerous and very expensive trip to Mars in your lifetime.

[Monet X Change]

Chad, do y' all think that we'll be able to go to Mars in our lifetime? Well, maybe y'. All. In our lifetime. Are we going to Mars? No way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think so. Father's crazy. They're investing A lot of infrastructure, a lot of money into trying to get to Mars.

[Monet X Change]

We're not going to Mars. I hate to break it to you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It ain't happening. People said this about the moon. Someone, someone. Ha, ha, ha. About the Moon. Someone's like, you never make it to the Moon. And now look at that person.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, they probably said it in 1920, 18, 20s.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They probably said in 1968, no, I bet a dollar, someone, we ain't gonna make the moon.

[Monet X Change]

Sure, there was someone that said in 1968, probably.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, there are people today who still believe the Earth's flat.

[Monet X Change]

I do not think the Earth is flat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said some people.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think the Earth is flat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm talking about the people behind you. Cause the sky is everywhere. But the James Webb telescope is taking all these photos, and it's also combining photos from the Hubble. Not the Hubble. The Hubble. The Hubble. The Hubble. They're also combining photos from the Hubble, and they're. So all these photos you see of space are like composite images, right?

[Monet X Change]

I do know that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Because it's like, you know, so. But also, I was looking into a scientist recently who was saying that basically, if there is life out there, which there more than likely is, they are more than likely the closest one to us is either millions of years ahead of us or millions of years behind us. There's a very small chance that we'd be advancing it even nearly the same time.

[Monet X Change]

Well, that's what always, like, gags me when I think of space is like, the time, you know, the time of it all. I'm like, like, how times are relative and how, like, we can be looking at something, but we're actually seeing something that's 3 million years ahead of us. Like that. That shit all blows my mind.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you know about the Voyager? Is it Voyager? What's the satellite that.

[Monet X Change]

The one that Matthew McConaughey went on in that movie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The very one. That's not Voyager. It's a camera they've sent out. And they were like, we're never gonna get it back. And it. But. But it. Like, it. If you look up the blue dot, it is the blue dot image, but as this. What photo?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What? Voyager 1. Yeah. So as Voyager 1 passed Pluto, and they were like, this is our last chance to communicate with this satellite. They were like, they use all their energy and turned it back to Earth and took a photo of Earth past Pluto.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. And then what happened after that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And now it's just out There now the Voyager is just in space. It is the furthest man made thing that has left Earth. That is the furthest from Earth.

[Monet X Change]

How big was this camera?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How big is the camera?

[Monet X Change]

How big was it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

I mean like we're talking about, like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, the Voyager is not just a camera. It's a lot of stuff. It's jets and it's.

[Monet X Change]

Right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Satellites.

[Monet X Change]

But like, I wonder like how big is the actual camera on it? Like, is it like the 1980s recording Dream Girls? Like, is a camera this big?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's older than 1980s. It's. The Voyager is old. When did they launch the Voyager?

[Monet X Change]

Wow, space is wild.

[Jacob]

1990.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, no, but the camera might be older. You never know. But it's. It is. It is like. But it's old.

[Monet X Change]

Who is the one that does this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Testing it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, it's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is definitely older. Still years. It's older, by the way.

[Jacob]

1977.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, 1977.

[Monet X Change]

It's still not older then than the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

fucking 1977 is older than the 1980s.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, than dream Girls. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So that was a fluke. That was not a fluke. Cause I have been studying this fucking thing. I'm a.

[Monet X Change]

So I was talking what Jacob said in the 90s, you're like, oh, you just capitulated to whatever the he said.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want me to not be right is so crazy.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not saying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying when Jacob it is older.

[Monet X Change]

When Jacob said the 1990s, you were

[Bob the Drag Queen]

like, oh, but what did we know?

[Monet X Change]

But you studied it so much what

[Bob the Drag Queen]

we know for a fact that I was right.

[Monet X Change]

If you said that to me about the animals, I'm like, hell no, bitch. I know what the fuck I'm talking about.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I was. Can you just say I was right?

[Monet X Change]

You were right about it, but when Jacob said the 1990s, you agree with it. So how much did you study?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Delicious.

[Monet X Change]

How much did you study? If you ask Socrates to break down the Pythagorean theorem, honey, and you tell him A equals MC squared, he got like, equals mc.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did Socrates make the. You think Socrates the philosopher doing math equations?

[Monet X Change]

He was very smart.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think Socrates made the Pythagorean equation?

[Monet X Change]

He did not. He did not. I forget who did it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So.

[Monet X Change]

Pythagoras. Pythagoras. So if you tell Pythagoras.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Speaking of just saying shit, let's go back to who just said shit.

[Monet X Change]

If Pythagoras says E equals MC squared, he's like, no, that's not true. I know it's A equals B squared, but whatever the fuck.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, to be clear, a world class mathematician versus a person who looks up things on the Internet. I'm not comparing myself to Pythagoras.

[Monet X Change]

No, but I'm saying. But if you know what you know, you know what you know. And you didn't know what you know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did know. I was congratulated.

[Monet X Change]

So why would Jacob said he disagreed Monat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was right.

[Monet X Change]

Why would Jacob say why did you. Why did you disagree? Because why did you fight for what you know is right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong and it hurts you that I was right. You are. You are coping.

[Monet X Change]

No, but why did you fight if you knew, why did you fight for it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mona, your coping is crazy right now.

[Monet X Change]

Now I want you to fight for what you believe in, Bob. I want you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want. I want empowerment at the end of the day. I was right. I've emboldened you to get back to what I was saying. Saying they turned this camera back to earth, took a photo of it and now it is just out there. But it's also playing a song.

[Monet X Change]

They don't know. That song is so working.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They don't know. They. They genuinely don't have. They'll have a who golden record containing 27 musical pieces including Bach, Beethoven and cherry buck cherries. Johnny B. Good side. Johnny B. Good.

[Monet X Change]

I mean Chuckberry, he was the guy

[Bob the Drag Queen]

from the one that wrote Johnny B. Goodside. Well, why is that what it was

[Monet X Change]

Beyonce by Morning Exchange. But why is that. Why does that name sound Chuck Berry? He was like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's probably a famous musician.

[Monet X Change]

He's like one of the godfathers of rock and roll, right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I do not know. I don't know who Chuck Berry is.

[Monet X Change]

One of the. One of. One of the black architects of rock and roll. Yeah, Work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So this is. So this. These songs are just. This playlist in theory is still just playing out in space, which is wild to me.

[Monet X Change]

So wait, weren't we. Oh no, we're not doing the test today. Nevermind.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can do the test.

[Monet X Change]

No, I don't think we should. I mean, if you want to, we can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't mind taking the test. It's a. It is a. The other day we were discussing Pokemon, then it went to Harry Potter somehow. What is the name of the Pokemon from Smash Brothers who. She's a trophy and she has a force field and she's wearing a gown and she has long hair.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's a gardevoir.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gardevoir. That's the one, Taylor. Gardevoir. Did you say gardevoir? No, I was like, that's not what you showed me. You said, jinx, Chikorita. And then he said. And then you said. And he said, jinx. Anyway, so then we went over. So then we start talking about Harry Potter and see who knows more about Harry Potter.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you think you know more? I. To be fair, I have never read a single Harry Potter book. I have only seen one movie one time. That's not true. I've seen two movies. I saw one on a plane, and I saw. And I saw one right when it first came out.

[Monet X Change]

I've seen all. I've seen all the movies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All of them.

[Monet X Change]

I don't read all the books, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you watching the TV show?

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm really. If it's gonna. It's gonna give J.K. rowling so much money, it's this. She's gonna stand to make billions of

[Bob the Drag Queen]

dollars off of it. She's already been there.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but I'm just saying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not watching. I'm not watching it.

[Monet X Change]

She's gonna stand to make billions more.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be fair, me not watching. This is not some big, bold stance for me because I. I don't. I don't.

[Monet X Change]

I love the movies.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have. I've. I've never cared for Harry Potter. And also, it's one of those movies that if you don't watch it, when it comes out, you go back and watch. You're like, this is ass, bro. Like, I. I feel the way about a lot of Disney shows, like these shows that you guys love because you grew up watching Disney. Someone. Years and years I watched it, but I'm like, this writing is bad. This is ass.

[Monet X Change]

I was talking to someone about this the other day. Like, I think we don't give Raven Simone so much credit for being such a brilliant comedian. Oh, she's brilliant and amazing physical comedian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You see her on Ms. Pat.

[Monet X Change]

Incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's brilliant.

[Monet X Change]

But she was doing this when she was 12, 13, 14. On a Disney show.

[Jacob]

Four.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

On the Cosby Show.

[Monet X Change]

But her physical comedy really came to flight when she did. That's a Ravenheart show. And her and Amanda Bynes. Honestly, if you hang out with Raven

[Bob the Drag Queen]

for any short amount of time, you will be like, damn, this bitch is talented as shit.

[Monet X Change]

She's so talented. She's good at so many things.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, we're gonna take the quiz. I'm ready.

[Jacob]

Okay. So for clarity, just so everyone can be Aware I was a die hard Harry Potter fan from age 5 to 18. It is not a fan of my currently engagements, but I do unfortunately now have a large working knowledge of Harry Potter. We are starting very easy and if y' all are doing really well, we can get harder.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Whoa.

[Monet X Change]

Get hard.

[Jacob]

What is the name of Harry Potter's owl?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Harry Potter has an owl, which I definitely knew the whole time. And I feel like the owl's name is. Ready? Yeah. One, two, three.

[Monet X Change]

I think this is Ron's thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wrote who? Scabbers.

[Jacob]

Yes, Ron's rat is named Scabbers. That is correct.

[Monet X Change]

Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But that is. Is who correct?

[Jacob]

No, the name of Harry's owl is Hedwig.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, is that where John Cameron Mitchell got it from?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

I know. No, I don't think you knew, you fucking musical murderer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. I don't think you knew. I gotta be honest. No.

[Jacob]

Name one of the trials guarding the Sorcerer's Stone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, we need to. To. We need.

[Monet X Change]

Need the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The. The easiest, easiest version.

[Jacob]

Hedwig. Yeah, that is the one of the easiest questions.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Harry Potter's owl's name. I'm Cook. Okay.

[Monet X Change]

What are you asking?

[Jacob]

Name one of the trials guarding the Sorcerer's Stone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ.

[Monet X Change]

Oh,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, wait. One of the guards.

[Jacob]

One of the trials. They had to go through multiple trials to get to the Sorcerer's Stone.

[Monet X Change]

It's almost like if you say the whole fucking question, you won't have more.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shut your bitch ass up.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob's literally saying the question you talking through.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, I'm ready.

[Jacob]

Okay, chess. You are both right. That was really.

[Monet X Change]

You stole my answer.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did not. It's the.

[Monet X Change]

Roll the camera's back.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is literally.

[Monet X Change]

You cheated.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It is literally the only thing I know.

[Monet X Change]

Because you're a cheater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not Ron, not Hermione.

[Monet X Change]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She came to. She came to. To the Madonna tour and everyone's gagging.

[Monet X Change]

Who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hermione.

[Jacob]

The.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The girl. Emma. Emma. Emma Roberts is it? No, Emma Watson.

[Monet X Change]

Emma Watson Roberts is. Who's Emma Roberts?

[Jacob]

Niece and also an actor from American Horror Story.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

What is the levitation.

[Monet X Change]

Karen Jacobson.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's the really bitchy one on the thing.

[Jacob]

What is the levitation spell?

[Monet X Change]

Wait, what?

[Jacob]

What is the levitation spell?

[Monet X Change]

If you listen, because you won't. You won't focus. The levitation spell, huh?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are we doing extra points for spelling?

[Monet X Change]

Yes.

[Jacob]

No. Because I don't know how to spell it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wingardium Leviosa.

[Jacob]

There you go. You are both correct.

[Monet X Change]

You saw me writing it down.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did not see you writing Down.

[Monet X Change]

You're such a fucking cheater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It drives you.

[Monet X Change]

Can we have Jeopardy in, like, the little glass?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It drives me. Drives you crazy that when I do well when I know stuff, it hurts your.

[Monet X Change]

When I know things because you are such a turn your thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, it hurts you when I do well. So you must be in constant pain.

[Monet X Change]

Such a cheater.

[Jacob]

Okay, how much money did J.K. rowling donate to the 4Women Scotland fund to change the legal definition of a woman in the UK Equality act to refer to biological sex only and US Dollars?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be clear, I've already written mine.

[Jacob]

Whoever is closest will win.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, Are we doing prices right?

[Jacob]

Yeah. Whoever is closest wins without going over

[Bob the Drag Queen]

is what I'm saying.

[Jacob]

No, I guess whoever's closest.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So we're not doing process.

[Jacob]

Yeah, we're not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's right. Jacob's 4 million.

[Monet X Change]

I said 20 million.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, it's only US$88,000.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That'd be me. That'd be me. Did I cheat again?

[Monet X Change]

No, you finally got. Yeah, you would know that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did I cheat again?

[Monet X Change]

Contributing against women.

[Jacob]

No.

[Monet X Change]

Wow.

[Jacob]

Name a defense against a Dark Arts professor.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ooh, a defense against the Dark Arts professor. Like a defense. Oh, wait. Name a defense against, like. Can we ask questions? No. No. You don't know.

[Monet X Change]

You're not the one making the rules, Jacob. No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you gonna let this bitch tell

[Monet X Change]

you what to do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is crazy. I'm gonna go with.

[Monet X Change]

1, 2, 3.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Spells.

[Monet X Change]

Spells.

[Jacob]

Monat is right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is it, Dolores? Umbrage people or defenses, bitch?

[Monet X Change]

A te. He said a teacher. A defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Spells.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, a defense against a teacher.

[Monet X Change]

No, a defense against a Dark Arts Arts teacher.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A defense against the teacher. Dolores is the teacher.

[Jacob]

Defense class is Defense against the Dark Arts.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought you meant name a defense like spells defend against Dark Arts teacher. No, that makes sense. Name a defense against a Dark Arts teacher. Like you are defending yourself against a Dark Arts teacher. I didn't know it was Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Listen. No, what I'm saying makes perfect sense. Name a defense against a Dark Arts teacher. Name a spell against a Dark Arts teacher.

[Monet X Change]

I think I got that point correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You did get it. Right, but I'm saying what I'm saying actually doesn't make sense. All right, go ahead.

[Jacob]

Name one of the unforgivable curses.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right. Havada Kedavra. It's Avada Kedavra. So you get incorrect. No, we weren't doing spelling. We already covered that. We're not doing spelling. We covered that.

[Monet X Change]

That's Havana Cabana.

[Jacob]

Both correct.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We already covered. We're not doing sprout.

[Monet X Change]

Are you going to Cuba?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We already covered. We're not doing sprout.

[Monet X Change]

Havana Canana. What the hell?

[Jacob]

Who does the cooking?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I have.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, he has one. I have one. Okay, I got it.

[Jacob]

Who does the cooking and cleaning at Hogwarts?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, it's the. I'm gonna just write this. I don't think it's right, but I'm gonna write this. But I feel like I know what he looks like, but I don't know his name. No, it's. It's.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think this is right, but it's the closest I can get.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wrote Dolby.

[Monet X Change]

Dobby, Dobby, Dobby.

[Jacob]

So the correct answer is house elves. It is a team of house elves. Dobby is a house elf, but he actually is not.

[Monet X Change]

There's not Dobby just doing that.

[Jacob]

Dobby doesn't want.

[Monet X Change]

It's not the fucking Dolby theater.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know what's not Haggard? Hagrid. You know. You know who's not even close?

[Monet X Change]

Dolby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know who's not close?

[Monet X Change]

Hagrid is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hagrid is not. Hagrid is a giant and a wizard combined. He's a giant wizard.

[Monet X Change]

The Dolby. Yeah, you are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are so.

[Monet X Change]

You're crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're trying to deflect because you were so.

[Monet X Change]

It's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To be clear. I even knew that this person was one of the people who does it. You were just off.

[Monet X Change]

Dolby is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're deflecting. Next one is wild.

[Jacob]

How much are the house elves at Hogwarts paid for their work?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Putting their salary out there is kind of wild. Okay, all right, I have three pence.

[Jacob]

They are not paid for their work. That is correct, Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, they're slaves.

[Jacob]

Next question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are house elves. Are we just moving on from the slavery?

[Jacob]

Next question. Why are house elves not enslaved?

[Monet X Change]

Saved. Wait, why are they. Wait, why are they not.

[Jacob]

Yeah,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've already read mine. This feels like a Pokemon answer.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, 1, 2, 3.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They want to do it.

[Monet X Change]

I said the patriarchy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Jacob]

The correct answer is they are naturally subservient and they want to do the work.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Looks like we're tired again. Because, you know, they say Pokemon battles are like. No, they like fighting. They want to fight. Which. They're violent creatures. Not me being. Up, up.

[Monet X Change]

You're not. We're the same.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, why does mine say six? You say five.

[Jacob]

Oh, no, the ones that we get right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, we both got one. We Both got two. Both got three. We both got four.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right, here we go.

[Jacob]

What does Dumbledore claim to see in the mirror of Erised?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ooh, the mirror of Era Said. And Dumbledore. This is the. The big Gandalf looking guy. And he sees something in that mirror. I have mine. You're right. You writing the whole chapter?

[Monet X Change]

Okay. One, two, three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The Death of Harry Potter.

[Monet X Change]

I said the. The betrayal.

[Jacob]

Neither of those corrects. He claims to see himself carrying. Getting a pair of new socks for Christmas.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is crazy. This is crazy. He's like, girl, I got a cunty new sock.

[Monet X Change]

Is he gay in the book? He is.

[Jacob]

No, he's not gay in the books or the movies. After the books were published, like five years after, J.K. rowling tweeted that he was gay. So I guess allegedly. But there is nothing in the book's canonically about.

[Monet X Change]

It's transphobic, not homophobic. Yeah, got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She might be homophobic.

[Monet X Change]

Let's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's not give her too much credit. Writing gay care. Does it make you.

[Monet X Change]

Does it make you.

[Jacob]

What is the name of the student of Chinese descent at Hogwarts who Harry has a crush on?

[Monet X Change]

I know this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have mine. And I feel very confident in this one. We need an answer.

[Monet X Change]

It's not it, but it does have this letter in the. This letter is right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Amanda.

[Monet X Change]

It's not Amanda.

[Jacob]

No. Her name is Cho Chang.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you were wrong on all courts, but there is an R, not a. Not an R anywhere in the name. So you were wrong just saying stuff.

[Jacob]

Okay, next one. Is Cho Chang a plausible name for a person of Chinese descent?

[Monet X Change]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, he's asking, is Cho Chang a real Chinese name?

[Jacob]

Like, if you went to China, would

[Bob the Drag Queen]

you realistically, how is this a Harry Potter? Just answer the question, bitch. I'm gonna. I already have my answer. And I'm gonna. I'm just adding this last part as an idea, as a notion I have. I guess in theory you can name your kids anything you want, but I have a answer. What are you writing? This is a podcast. People are listening. Okay. I wrote no because it's two last names.

[Monet X Change]

I said yes because Chinese people are free to be whoever they want to be. So you, Jacob, you tell us if they can't be who they want to be. You, Jacob, you tell us.

[Jacob]

You know, that is fair, Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's not correct.

[Jacob]

I think generally the consensus is that,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

no, it is not, because it's two last names. Yikes. But I know people with two last names. Though I know a few people. Two last names. All right, go ahead.

[Jacob]

What mythical creature guards the gold at Gringotts Bank?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't have two last names.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, wait, wait.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Naomi has two last names.

[Monet X Change]

Great. What.

[Jacob]

What mythical creature guards the gold of Gringotts Bank?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm actually. I think I'm better at this than I thought I was, but I need you to pay attention to stuff.

[Monet X Change]

Okay? One, two, three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cerberus.

[Monet X Change]

It's the dragon.

[Jacob]

That's the dragon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is Cerberus? The dog.

[Jacob]

Server is the three headed dog that guards.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He does guard something.

[Jacob]

Yeah, he got the underworld in Greek mythology. He's the. The big dog from Hercules.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cerberus.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. All right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God, we're tied. This is crazy.

[Jacob]

What disease in Harry Potter does J.K. rowling say is a metaphor for HIV and AIDS?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have an answer. Okay, Covid,

[Monet X Change]

I said the black lung.

[Jacob]

No, the answer is lycanthropy. Or werewolf.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Being a werewolf, I thought the Gulan is lycanthropy. Lycanthropy. Is it? Yeah. Like you never heard of what we call a lycanthrop.

[Jacob]

Oh, like a throat.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like enthropy.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're so is it. Is it. Is it sexually transmitted? Like, if you. A werewolf, do you become a werewolf? No.

[Jacob]

They have to bite you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where?

[Jacob]

Anywhere.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh.

[Jacob]

Or scratch you even. I think it's a scratch. A scratch or a bite.

[Monet X Change]

He's the guy. Yeah. This one of the professors turned into one in. In three.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that in Harry Potter? I don't know.

[Jacob]

I mean, not explicitly. No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no, like, sex scenes written in.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

It's for, like, young teens.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are books with fucking in them for young teens. 100%. There's a book about crack that we read in high school. Dinky Hawker shoots smack.

[Monet X Change]

You are from Atlanta.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's about. You ever heard Dinky Hawker shoot smack? It's a book. It's a book that tells about the

[Monet X Change]

dangers of drug use. We are wholesome people from New York. We don't deal with that kind of stuff.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not all from New York.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, we're all from New York.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not? No. They go to college in New York

[Monet X Change]

State and now they're from New Yorkers.

[Jacob]

Okay, so this will be all from New York. This will be the tiebreaker and the final question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Get it?

[Jacob]

Well, this is. I think if you both get it wrong, then we'll move on to a new one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Jacob]

Name the four founders of Hogwarts. You get a point for each one. You name

[Bob the Drag Queen]

the four founders.

[Monet X Change]

Huh?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's. What's his fucking name? What's the one?

[Jacob]

I don't even give you a hint. Their last names are each of the Hogwarts houses. So they have a first name.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob. That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's. No, you cannot tell Jacob what to do.

[Monet X Change]

New question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you cannot tell Jacob what to do.

[Monet X Change]

New question.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you don't get to decide this. You don't get to be.

[Monet X Change]

That is crazy. You saying their names are the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's. You don't get to be a contestant and an arbiter.

[Monet X Change]

Chad. Wasn't that crazy? Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is crazy. Well, we live in crazy world, honey.

[Monet X Change]

Helping your man out like that is crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was helping you, toots?

[Jacob]

No, sorry. You need. The correct answer will be their first name and their last name.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, I got this. And then. Okay, I have. Are you ready? I'm ready. I have Carl Gryffindor, Harry Hufflepuff, Jane Slytherin and Ray Ravenclaw.

[Monet X Change]

So no. Rachel Ravenclaw, Howie Hufflepuff, Greg Gryffindor and Sam Slytherin. They're all alliterations. So I think the alliterations win.

[Jacob]

They all are alliterations, but none of you are at the ratings.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Harry Hufflepuff is an alliteration. Just to be clear.

[Monet X Change]

Only one. They're all alliterations. Honey. You're still wrong, Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You did not get them right.

[Jacob]

Okay, next. What does it mean if you get splinched?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You get splinched?

[Jacob]

Yes. We're just going to. Somebody gets one right and then that person wins.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All right. I have my answer. All right. What?

[Monet X Change]

I have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ. This is a listening podcast.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have you lose your power for a short time.

[Monet X Change]

I say when you get DP'd on the Quidditch Court.

[Jacob]

Neither of those are correct.

[Monet X Change]

Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is it?

[Jacob]

It's when you mess up your teleportation spell and you leave part of your body behind.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yes. When I get in the flea thing and you die.

[Jacob]

No. I mean, you can, but mostly it's just painful. Like you leave like you lose a finger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like an earth. Something you don't. Like, lose your head.

[Jacob]

Report to have happen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my God. Easier.

[Jacob]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. That was actually really easy. What purpose. I felt.

[Jacob]

How did Moaning Myrtle die?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mody Myrtle.

[Jacob]

Moaning Myrtle. How did she die?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Myrtle died. Moaning Myrtle is definitely dead. And.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Monet X Change]

I believe to meet your maker.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I believe she got hit with a

[Monet X Change]

Spell that is such. That's so vague.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She got hit with a spell.

[Monet X Change]

She drowned.

[Jacob]

She got killed by the basilisk.

[Monet X Change]

The basilisk. Was she in the toilet? Bath. The toilet, yeah.

[Jacob]

Cause she was being bullied, so she went to the bathroom to cry. And the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is in that bathroom. So then the snake was coming out to make its killing, and she was right there, and it killed her.

[Monet X Change]

It ate her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or just bitter as well, I think

[Jacob]

allegedly it kills you by looking at you with its eyes. It kills you just by seeing you.

[Monet X Change]

Jesus Christ. Okay, maybe it's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Name.

[Jacob]

Name.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She does actually.

[Jacob]

She has a heart Out. In five minutes, name one creature in her garage. Name one creature they encounter in the forbidden forest.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, a creature in the forbidden forest

[Jacob]

that they encounter in the books or the movie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How many creatures are there? How many. How many options do we have to get it right?

[Jacob]

Many.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Many. Okay, I have mine.

[Monet X Change]

I have mine, too.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A cyclops.

[Monet X Change]

I said a centaur or a tarantula.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No one.

[Jacob]

To be fair, Cyclops is wrong. And both of those answers are correct, so Monet is indeed the winner.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, we're only taking one, so get

[Monet X Change]

down on your knees.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are they spelled correctly? Gravel. Are they spelled correctly? Say, thank you, Daddy. Monet, you love transphobes. Now let's do the Kanye west quiz. And I bet you'll rack it up.

[Monet X Change]

Sure will. That one that kill me stronger.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Monet is the most transphobic of us all. Confirmed.

[Monet X Change]

You got eight the fuck up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Honestly, I lost by one point. And having never read a book and only seen two movies, one under duress. Honestly, I'm not mad at myself.

[Monet X Change]

Why are you under duress when you watched it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was working the Jekyll and Hyde club, and everyone was like, let's go watch the fifth Harry Potter movie. And I was like, well, I want to hang out with you guys, but I don't. I haven't seen any of the other ones. I feel like I'll just be lost.

[Monet X Change]

The fifth one's a good one. That's. That's the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's one where Dumbledore's hands all up.

[Jacob]

Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore's hand is up in seven.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it wasn't seven. Maybe I. Maybe. Maybe his hand wasn't up. I will tell you the year. It was around 2010. So does that give you a clue? It was around 2010 when I saw this movie.

[Monet X Change]

I don't even know that. It was the fifth one. That's a good one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which. Which movie is that.

[Monet X Change]

So what's.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it was around 2010. It doesn't mean it was 2010.

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah, it was. It was seven. Part one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Seven, part one. My God. I seen. Yeah, so I saw seven. Okay, part one.

[Monet X Change]

What about the dragon? This has been a great time. Thank you so much for having me over. By the way, these. I guess when this episode comes out. These are. Are we spoiling it? The episode hasn't come out yet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know. Well, then let's just hold tight.

[Monet X Change]

Never mind then.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

One ain't love to tease it. All right, y'.

[Monet X Change]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I thought I didn't know

[Monet X Change]

when this was coming out Anyway, Vom, this has been a great time. Thank you for having me. Have a good day. Good job, pal. We'll see you guys next time on the podcast. Thank you so. Much.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ra.