Sibling Rivalry – "The One About Paying Attention" (December 24, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this energetic and banter-filled episode of Sibling Rivalry, Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change dive into the nuances of paying attention—to people, pets, pop culture, and their own habits. Through funny anecdotes, playful arguments, and candid confessions, they explore why focus matters, how modern distractions shape interactions, and how drag, New York life, and even TV-watching traditions spark endless conversation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Drag Race, Attention, and Grace (01:23–03:38)

• Naming Drag Queens Game: Monét and Bob challenge each other to see who can name the most Drag Race queens in ten seconds, poking fun at the idea of being prepared versus winging it.
  • Monét: "Aquaria, Alaska. Monet. Bob. Peppermint, Ginger, Minj, Candy Muse." (02:35)
• Drag Queen Critique: Jokingly debate if anyone should "quit drag," but ultimately both respect the art and those performing.
  • Bob: “No one. I think they're all doing a good job. I respect the art they were creating..." (02:54)

Life on the Road & Vegas Shows (03:38–05:17)

• Bob shares that, despite being a professional traveler, he doesn’t actually enjoy constant travel and would prefer a steady gig like a Vegas residency where “they do all your laundry for you” (#livingthedream).
  • Monét: "Can I tell you why the Vegas show sounds so appealing to me? ...They do all your laundry and your wigs." (05:23)
• A discussion of drag shows in Puerto Vallarta includes local queens, the beach atmosphere, and daytime outdoor performances.

Pronouns, Identity, and Language Play (06:10–09:01)

• Extended riff on neopronouns: Bob and Monét experiment with using “ze/zir/zim,” challenging each other to use them in sentences, touching on the learning curve for new pronouns and the real-life presence (or rarity) of nonbinary pronouns.
  • Monét: “No, you will get used to it. Just like you did they/them, you get used to ze/zir.” (07:08)
• Jacob (producer) jumps in to clarify correct usage: "It's zir, and then zerself." (08:01)

New York vs LA vs Atlanta Weather & “Seasons” Talk (17:28–21:10)

• A spirited defense of LA’s weather (“perfect!”) against people who miss “real” seasons, and reflections on adapting to West Coast life.
  • Monet: “I have become such a little West Coast, California sunshine bitch. ...A little bit of rain—I am annoyed. I am depressed.” (19:16)
• Typical New Yorker/American city rivalry about who has it better, weather-wise.

New York City Realness: Mice, Rats, Bodega Cats (20:44–24:03)

• Bob claims every New York restaurant has rodents, recounting tales from working in food service. Monét is skeptical, but acknowledges the ubiquity of street rats and the necessity of bodega cats.
  • Bob: “Every restaurant in New York City has rodents. I don't care how nice you think this restaurant is...” (22:14)
  • Discussion of new laws allowing bodega cats, and their importance as natural pest control.

Pets, Veterinary Woes, and Pet Personalities (24:13–27:57)

• Monét talks about her cat Colleen's health issues, including regurgitation versus vomiting, weight gain, and getting spayed.
• Anecdotes about memorable pets, including aggressive cats ("Chicken") and antisocial dogs ("Sasha"), pepper this section.

Cosmetic Surgeries and Body Modifications (44:32–47:42)

• Monét confesses considering a “rib sculpting” procedure (shaving lower ribs for a smaller waist) and debates the risks and recovery realities with Bob.
  • Monét: “It’s called rib sculpt—they file down your bottom five ribs...” (44:56)
  • Bob: “Getting this hair transplant was crazy for me... That is probably the craziest...” (47:23)

TV & Movie Watching Etiquette – The Main “Paying Attention” Riff (28:33–43:35)

• Arguments about TV and movie-watching habits: pausing vs. talking, watching while multitasking, and proper etiquette with TikToks and “important moments.”
  • Bob: “If I show it to you, you have to watch. Taylor be looking around... You have to LOOK.” (42:44)
  • Monét: “Sometimes people show you TikToks and then you—but I will say, if you want to say a joke, you will pause it, say the joke, and be like, all right, continue.” (42:52)
• Bob’s reverence for the collective effort behind movies and TV, and his annoyance when someone’s dismissive after a movie trailer:
  • "This is a 30-something-year process. And then when the trailer's over, someone goes, 'meh.' That is so crazy to me." (34:07)

Titles, Names, and First Impressions (35:06–37:38)

• Fun exchange on how the names of films and shows influence whether they’re compelling—e.g., “Chess” doesn’t “speak” to Bob, but “No Country for Old Men” does.
  • Bob: “Queen’s Gambit is a beautiful name… But the name Chess just doesn’t speak to me.” (36:44)

Casual Viewing vs. Active Engagement (39:05–41:45)

• Disagreement on treating reality shows like “Love is Blind” as “background TV” versus paying rapt attention, with Bob being a notorious “pauser” and Monét more relaxed.
  • Bob: “If I am, like, so excited to show you a TV show, bitch, if I'm excited to show you a TikTok, if it is 6 seconds long—do not look away. Don't look away.” (41:45)

Sex Ed, Candid Conversations, and Tips (50:00–55:04)

• Open and humorous discussion about oral sex tips, cleanliness preferences, and personal limits.
  • Bob: “One good tip is… Don't bite it.” (50:39)
  • Monét: “Do you like ice cum on your face?” Bob: “Yeah… I don't really have any strong opinions about where the cum goes, tbh.” (53:24–53:33)
• Extended riff on “cum volume” in porn, absurd clean-up woes, and bodily secretions.

TV Nostalgia, Girls-In-The-Title, and "Paying Attention" Throwbacks (61:12–62:23)

• The confusion between shows with “Girls” in the title (“Gilmore Girls,” “Two Broke Girls”), and the nostalgia for early 2000s MTV-style recap shows (“Best Week Ever,” “Girl Code”).
• Discussion about potential reboots and why some genres go out of style.

Parental Influence, Relationships, and Wrapping Up (62:49–63:22)

• Would you let your mom pick your partner? Bob’s mother "loves Jacob a lot." (63:14)

Restless Leg Syndrome, Fidgeting, and Distractions (63:35–end)

• Bob is visually distracted by Monét’s bouncing mic stand—it's “driving me crazy” (63:25).
• Conversation about fidgeting habits and Restless Leg Syndrome as another example of attention wandering.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “No one. I think they're all doing a good job. I respect the art they were creating and the craftsmanship is amazing.”
  – Bob (02:54) on whether any drag queens should "quit"

• “I have become such a little West Coast, California sunshine bitch. ...A little bit of rain—I am annoyed. I am depressed.”
  – Monét (19:16)

• “Every restaurant in New York City has rodents. I don't care how nice you think this restaurant is...”
  – Bob (22:14)

• "If I show it to you, you have to watch. Taylor be looking around... You have to LOOK."
  – Bob (41:45)

• “If you go to someone's house and they put a towel down, you about to get the best motherfucking toppy you ever had in your whole life.”
  – Bob (52:23)

• “Getting this hair transplant was crazy for me... That is probably the craziest [cosmetic thing] I’ve ever had.”
  – Bob (47:23)

• "This is a 30-something-year process. And then when the trailer's over, someone goes, 'meh.' That is so crazy to me."
  – Bob (34:07)

• “Queen’s Gambit is a beautiful name… But the name Chess just doesn’t speak to me.”
  – Bob (36:44)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Naming Drag Queens Rapid-Fire Game: 02:09–03:38
• Drag Shows & Travel: 03:38–05:17
• Pronoun Play: 06:10–09:01
• New York vs LA Weather: 17:28–20:40
• NYC Rats, Bodegas, Cats: 20:44–24:03
• Pet Discussion: 24:13–27:57
• Paying Attention & TV Watching Etiquette: 28:33–43:35
• Film Titles, Names, and First Impressions: 35:06–37:38
• Reality TV as Background vs. Main Focus: 39:05–41:45
• Sex Talk – Oral Tips & Preferences: 50:00–55:04
• Nostalgia TV, "Girls" Shows, Recap Series: 61:12–62:23

Tone, Chemistry, & Style

The episode is authentic Sibling Rivalry—fast-paced, irreverent, and fiercely funny, with a mix of warm storytelling, snarky asides, and deep dives into everyday culture. Bob and Monét’s rapport is as infectious as ever, balancing teasing jabs with mutual affection and candid truth-telling.

For listeners who missed the episode:
Expect a rapid-fire hour with drag culture references, neurotic TV-watching debates, candid sex talk, New York and LA lifestyle shade, hilarious tangents, and plenty of quotable moments—all reinforcing the power (and limitations) of paying attention in modern life.