The One About Rhyming

Summary

Sibling Rivalry — "The One About Rhyming"

Date: June 2, 2025
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Theme: The intensely hilarious duo dive into tangents about hygiene, RuGirl guest stories, Smash or Pass, celebrity tea, rhyming, and much more, delivering their signature chaotic energy and quick wit.

Episode Overview

This episode of Sibling Rivalry is a wild ride through the hosts’ favorite (and least favorite) drag guests, hygiene rituals, body image in drag, Facebook thirst traps, pronunciation pet peeves, TV conspiracies, musical theater impressions, and of course, who they'd "smash" from the Drag Race family. Along the way, expect classic Bob and Monét banter, deep dives into drag community tea, and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments.

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1. Introduction & Robe Talk

[00:00–02:10]

• Bob and Monét open the show in their cozy robes, with Monét sharing the Hello Kitty robe origin story and a debate ensues over whether Hello Kitty is actually a cat.
• Jacob joins in to clarify: "She's just a little girl who's shaped like a cat." — Jacob [01:44]

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2. Guest Appearances: Pit Stop and Beyond

[11:51–15:44]

• Monét reflects on being a guest on The Pit Stop and differentiating between her “Pit Stop” and “Sibling Rivalry” persona.
• Discussion about favorite and least favorite Pit Stop guests:
  • Hardest Guest: "Diabetti is the most difficult guest we've had so far." — Monét [13:00]
  • Story: Diabetti dyed her wig last minute, causing four episode restarts due to dye bleeding down her face.
  • Easiest/Most Fun Guests: "Bendelacreme was that. Plastique was so fun. Plastique was wild. I was like, 'Oh, Plastique said, y’all think I don’t have personality? Here she is!'" — Monét [14:03]
  • "Deja Skye...what an angel. She actually came to my gig with me. Willem was really fun..." — Monét [15:09]
  • They briefly shade, then praise, Naomi Smalls for her bold opinions.

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3. Drag Star Antics: Toes, Hygiene, and Roasting

[04:47–10:22]

• Bob and Monét enter the age-old drag queen hygiene debate:
  • Monét says, "I do not wash the bottom of my feet," sparking playful outrage from Bob.
    • "Y’all are doing too much. Y’all are in the hygiene Olympics. Calm down!" — Bob [05:54]
  • Discussion on the use of washcloths, loofahs, African netting sponges.
• Drag queen feet: Naomi Smalls picks up items with hers (Bob: "Her toes be sending me to the moon." [09:44])

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4. Body Talk: Hairlines, Makeup, and Fishnets

[19:21–21:28]

• Bob and Monét compare notes on putting makeup on legs, using fishnets, and hiding imperfections on stage.
• Spirited exchange on body upkeep and their “smash or pass” lists.

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5. Pronunciation, Rhyming & Accent Antics

Ear vs. Air: Rhyming Tangent

[21:32–26:12]

• Bob and Monét spiral into a side-splitting discussion and challenge about how to pronounce “ear” and “air” and if they rhyme.
  • “Ear and air don’t rhyme!” — Bob [22:47]
  • They go down the rabbit hole with near-rhymes, slant rhymes, and regional accents, including a riff on the pen/pin distinction.

Musical Auditions: Under the Sea

[52:31–56:29]

• The hosts compete, singing “Under the Sea” in their best Jamaican accents, then get a real Jamaican friend to judge.
  • Marvin’s verdict: “Monét has— is Caribbean. Thank you.” [56:23]
  • Bob: “Fake ass Jamaican! You British!” [56:29]

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6. Celebrity & Drag Community Tea

[32:27–38:21]

• Thirst traps and Bad Bunny’s Calvin Klein shoot:
  • “Does Bad Bunny look a little bit like a Muppet in the face?” — Bob [32:32]
• Reality TV rumors: Whoopi Goldberg, The Real & The View, Mitch McConnell’s wife, Melania/Trump “hate” conspiracies.
  • “Is Mitch McConnell still an active member of our Congress?” — Bob [34:41]
• Cheryl Lee Ralph’s melodramatic lunch order recited as a speech [37:27]

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7. Smashing Down: RuGirls & the “Smash List”

[47:10–51:41]

• “Do we want to do ‘The Smash List’ where we both come with a list of queens we want to smash?” — Bob [51:30]
• They debate the ethics and fun of making such a list, with running side commentary on personal types and energies of queens like Plane Jane, Morphine, etc.
• Notable moment: “I don’t think plane is my type. She’s a little too small for me.” — Bob [48:01]

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8. Friendship Dynamics & Behind-the-Scenes Gags

[43:10–46:08]

• The hosts reminisce about trying to set each other up, FaceTiming mutual friends, and competitive Mafia gameplay.
• “If we were on Traitors together… It’ll be mutually assured destruction, because I’m taking you down with me.” — Monét [45:13]

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9. TV Guest List FOMO

[38:21–39:44]

• Bob laments not being invited to Fenty Beauty’s influencer event in Barbados.
  • “Rihanna, we don’t want to go. Ain’t that right, bestie?” — Monét [39:03] (in dramatic Barbadian accent)
• “They not like us, but they still won't accept us. It's crazy." — Bob on TV casting [38:25]

---

10. Drag Networks & Social Whirl

[46:08–49:56]

• Who’s fun at the party? Bob and Monét dissect the social skills of Violet Chachki, Kandy Muse, Gottmik (“always for Mick. Mick is good in a room”), and new queens like Jewel Sparkles, Morphine, Plane Jane.
• A foray into which queens the hosts would hang out with, or would smash.

---

11. Roach Sampus: Drag Queen Lyrics Battle

[56:44–59:32]

• Bob and Monét trade lyrics from their collaborative song "Roach Sampus."
  • Monét: “Shoes on point and you know it. A bitch broke as hell but a bitch don’t show it…” [57:16]
  • Bob: “Stomp, stomp, stomping like the Dr. on the motherfucking Runway…” [58:19]
• Monét playfully trolls Bob about switching lyrics on video shoots.

---

12. Signature Banter & Closing Chaos

• Burping into microphones, sniffling, podcast etiquette.
• “Thank y’all for coming to listen to our podcast today!” [60:35]

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Notable Quotes & Timestamp Highlights

• "I don't wash the bottom of my feet. I'm literally stomping all over soap...y'all are in the hygiene Olympics." — Bob [05:54]
• "Cause I think it's fun. I like drama." — Bob [11:47]
• “Diabetti is the most difficult guest we've had so far.” — Monét [13:00]
• “Plastique said, Y' all say I don't have personality on all Stars? Here she is.” — Monét [14:03]
• “Do you think ear and air rhyme?” — Bob [22:39]
• “Fake ass Jamaican! You British!” — Bob [56:29]
• “Shoes on point and you know it. A bitch broke as hell but a bitch don’t show it…” — Monét [57:16]
• “I can’t read the doll sometimes.” — Monét [51:04]
• “If we were on Traitors together...mutually assured destruction, because I'm taking you down with me.” — Monét [45:13]
• “Rihanna, we don’t want to go. Ain’t that right, bestie?” — Monét [39:03]

---

Summary for New Listeners

This episode of Sibling Rivalry packs all the classic chaos, drag industry gossip, and best-friend energy fans love. Whether you want tea about RuGirl guests, crazy hygiene confessions, or you just long to hear Bob and Monét roast each other over rhyme schemes and Caribbean accents, this is the episode for you. The combination of rapid-fire banter, honest guest reviews, and irreverent debates makes it impossible to listen without laughing out loud.

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“I want people to see the real us. People who sign up for this podcast is because they love us. Not because they love the produced image…”
— Bob the Drag Queen [11:37]

---

Transcript

[A]

My name is Bob the drag queen.

[B]

And I'm Monet X James.

[A]

And this is sibling rivalry.

[B]

On this week's episode, we talk about our worst and favorite pits up guest.

[A]

We talk about drag queens we want to smash down.

[B]

And we find out what made Bomb mom say this.

[A]

Cause I think it's fun. I like drama. And we found out what made Monet say this.

[B]

I can't. I can't read the doll sometimes.

[A]

Welcome to another ritualistic.

[B]

Where is that going?

[A]

How do we have our. We have our little. Our little robes on.

[B]

Andy has a pink one. He's like. He looks like a gay dementor.

[A]

Did you buy these or were these gifted to you?

[B]

I bought them.

[A]

You bought. I was asking.

[B]

I bought one for myself. And then for Christmas, Andy got a secret of Santa gift that was like this. Like a hello Kitty version of this, but like a short version. He gave it to Jenny Jaffe cause she loves hello Kitty. And then when I was wearing, I was like, oh, man. Bob would love something like this. So I got you one as well. You know,

[A]

correct me if I'm wrong, Jacob. Isn't the cat's name Sanrio?

[C]

No. Sandra is the overarching company that owns it.

[A]

Hello Kitty?

[C]

That's her name? Yes.

[A]

And she's not a cat.

[B]

Yeah, she's a girl in a cat costume.

[A]

She's a girl dressed up like a cat.

[C]

No, no, she's not. She's not. She's not a girl dressed up like a cat. She's just a little girl who is

[A]

shaped like a cat.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

Hello Kitty's not a cat. She's just a little girl who's shaped like a cat.

[B]

So what's the story? What, she turned into this by a sorceress or something?

[A]

I don't know. Obviously, I don't know much about hello Kitty, but you're overthinking it.

[C]

You're thinking about it too much. She's not a cat. She's a little girl. End of discussion. That's all you need to know.

[A]

It's not like you're protecting hello Kitty. You work for Sanria.

[C]

This is Sanrio's messaging. Sanrio is like, no, no, she's not a cat. She's a little girl. And all the press and they're like, that's it. She's a little girl. I don't know what to tell you. She's a little girl.

[A]

There used to be a Sanrio store in Times Square.

[B]

It's not like Jacob was working for a big. For big kitty.

[A]

Yeah. You work for. For Big Big Big Big Car. Big Kiddie karma. Big Big. I'm trying to make Big Pharma into a. It didn't work.

[B]

Remember, Remember on All the Girls with. All the Voss girls were on Klarna Girl. It was Asia o'.

[A]

Hara. Yeah. Kim looks so miserable doing it too.

[B]

Aquaria.

[A]

Kim looked miserable doing Kim. Like, she hated every second of it.

[B]

Cameron Michaels is on now.

[A]

Corona's everywhere.

[B]

I know you can play four four Easy Payments. Yo, Baba Walkway in the middle of a podcast. Isn't that crazy?

[A]

Well, I was hoping you would keep the conversation going.

[B]

Can you. What?

[C]

This is my Peacock account right now,

[A]

Bob.

[B]

I can't wait. Where's yours?

[A]

I don't have one profile.

[C]

It's just my boyfriend's on my account.

[B]

Scream.

[A]

Mikey's picture is Ariana Grande as Glenda. And mine is the actor who played Captain Holt, which I get called all when I rest in peace. To the actor.

[B]

He passed.

[A]

He passed away, like, maybe a year and a half, two years ago.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I get called him all. I mean, even. Even after he passed, people were like, is that Captain Holt? People would be like. I don't know if they were, like, doing as a bit or they were like, gene, like, I can't tell if this is Captain Holt or not.

[B]

Captain Ray Holt was on Arrested Development. Nope.

[A]

He was on Brooklyn Nine. Nine.

[B]

Brooklyn Nine. Nine. Got it. Andre Brower. Andre Brower is his name. I mean, I can see it, though. I definitely. All the people.

[C]

All the.

[B]

All the people you get accused of looking like. I see it the most in him.

[A]

I think Andre Brown and I do look like. If you told. If someone. If I told you Andre Brown was my uncle, I think people be like, yeah, that makes perfect sense.

[B]

If it was your dad, I'll believe it.

[A]

But shout out to that handsome, handsome devil. May you rest in peace.

[B]

We're so similar. Same glasses, same robe.

[A]

The character's gay, but I don't think the actor is, though.

[B]

Oh, he was gay in the show?

[A]

Yeah, the character. Yeah, Captain Holt was gay.

[B]

Got it. I've never watched Brooklyn. I don't know. I'm assuming it's a comedic satirical police officer show.

[A]

He's going to have a crush on Andy Samberg.

[B]

Andy Samberg. He's. You know, there's a segment of straight boys that look like they don't wash their balls good. And they. And they assholes think. And I just can't get into that.

[A]

Like, you think Andy Zamberg. Andy Zamberg looks squeaky clean to me. Something about him, he looks like he, you know, like, when he washes his butt, he fingers his butthole.

[B]

No, let me tell you who fall in that. Andy Samberg is that to me, Seth Rogen gives me that. Big time. James Franco gives me that. Who else? These white boys look like that. Adam Sandler gives me that.

[A]

Oh, Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler down.

[B]

Yeah. Chelsea Handler.

[A]

I mean, Andy Sandberg is so cute. What a cutie.

[B]

Well, it's also just all these things of all these, all these white people. Not Mina Suvarri. You want someone who's married, who's dating Ashton Kutcher.

[C]

I have no idea. Mila Kunis.

[B]

Mila Kunis, Chelsea Handler, a bunch of these white celebrities out here. They'll be like, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't wash my body. They're like, what do you mean? Like, Chelsea was like, yeah, I'm in the shower and I shampoo my hair. And the soap from the shampoo.

[A]

She said she doesn't wash her legs. She didn't say. She doesn't wash her body. She didn't say. She didn't say. I just shampoo and leave the shower. She did not.

[B]

No. That's another thing. She said that she washes her Pikachu. She hits the other hot spots. I, I, I, I assume her armpits. And she shampoos her hair. And she said the water comes down and soaps everything else.

[A]

But sometimes folks be doing too much. I, I, I said, I don't wash the bottom of my feet. And people act like. And people act like I said something crazy. I do not wash the bottom of my feet. I'm literally stomping all over soap. The bottom of the tub is a great, Is abrasive. I'm fine. I wash every part of my body. I do not wash the bottom of my feet. And everyone's like, that's crazy. And honestly, it's not. Y' all are doing too much. Y' all are in the hygiene Olympics. You're doing too much. Calm down. I don't wash the bottom of my feet.

[B]

Do you, do you, do you use a rag every time?

[A]

I use a loofah, and if I'm on the road, I use a towel. Yeah. A rag. All right.

[B]

Yeah, I use, I have, I use, I use an African netting sponge. I've been, I've been in the African netting sponge business for a little while.

[A]

Um, but, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't. I do not wash the bottom of my Feet.

[B]

I wash bottom of my feet. I mean. I mean, if I'm like. So I have a seat in my shower, so I'll take the little shoe, the foot scraper, and I'll scrape the bottom of my feet, like, at least like, once a week. But I do not go with a. With a washcloth and wash under my feet.

[A]

I used to use a pumice stone on the bottom of my feet, which I probably should get back into. But then the puma, I just never. I moved. I lost it. I never got a new one.

[B]

And now, you know, they sell them everywhere.

[A]

Everywhere, so. So if I could go to Staples and get one, probably everywhere. Can I go to Krispy Kreme and get one?

[B]

You have to. You. You always have to be the worth extreme.

[A]

Can I go to McDonald's? You work there. You know what they sell? Can I go to McDonald's and get one?

[B]

You be extreme about everything, you know. What the fuck you mean?

[A]

You said everywhere.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

So not everywhere.

[B]

You know what I mean? You're so. You're so ridiculous. I can't. I just can't.

[A]

But I do, like, maybe like twice or three times or three times a week, I will get like. Like between my toes, really aggressively. Like, really aggressively. More than normal.

[B]

Yeah. Why used to do that? Well, you know, I showed dejuan this, and dejuan about fell the fuck over. He could not stop laughing at me. But, you know, since my surgery, I can't bend my toes anymore. I can't bend my toes.

[A]

Like. Will you regain your toe bending ability?

[B]

No, it's gone forever.

[A]

Did they. Did they tell you this beforehand?

[B]

He told me. Well, he said I'll have. He said I won't be able to, like, grip like I used to. Like, I can't. Like, you. Like, I can't fucking pick up a pad. Yeah.

[A]

Pause.

[B]

I mean, everyone does. You can't bend your toes?

[A]

No. You have long toes.

[B]

I have a long toes.

[A]

Fingers on her hands. On her feet.

[B]

Because of my hands. Yeah. It's a spoiler. You do, too.

[C]

To clarify, is it like you don't have the muscle control to bend them or they're like flat rods and they physically cannot bend.

[B]

They physically cannot bend because they cut the tendon. I can show y' all right now. Shake up space, please. Don't.

[A]

Okay, you can do it through this hockey. Monet.

[B]

You don't. This is me trying to bend my toes.

[C]

Blur this, blur this. For the regular people. This is Patreon only, y'.

[A]

All See how long one of these toes are? That is crazy fingers.

[B]

This is me trying with all my might.

[A]

Monet, you don't think you have long toes?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

This will not shock any of you, but Naomi also has very long toes. And when we're in the dressing room, Naomi is constantly. Naomi will not bend down to pick something up.

[B]

I experience this on her.

[A]

I've seen Naomi pick up entire costumes. I've seen her pick up a laptop off the ground with her feet.

[B]

Naomi will pick up things with her feet. I've seen this.

[A]

That shit is so funny. And she'll do it so nonchalant. Yeah. So it's by her face, and she's like. And I was like. All of a sudden you just see this. You know that was her foot just come.

[B]

It's like that scene in Gold Member where his footage is coming. Yes.

[A]

That Naomi and them toes be sending me to the moon. She has. She has. Her toes are almost as long as yours. Almost. I feel like I have.

[B]

I don't think I've ever seen Kim's feet.

[A]

I'm sure I've seen Kim's feet before.

[B]

I don't think I have. And I've been with Kim at a pool and stuff. I think about six feet.

[A]

Naomi has a very, very. This is not shocking. A very beautiful body. Her whole body is very, very beautiful. And we were. I was at her gig the other day. Cause she did a month over at Mickey's. And I was sitting up there. I was like, her body is just so stunning.

[B]

It's ridiculous. I hate her.

[A]

How beautiful.

[B]

Hater.

[A]

And she came with us to go see. To go see Lizzo.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Who taught about Big girl coochie.

[B]

And the entire time, Bob and Naomi were just playing Smash or Pass. We did.

[A]

We were. The entire time. And I love. Naomi's always down. I love Naomi so much. Jacob has down.

[B]

Not a downer. She's meaning. She's always down.

[A]

She's always down. She's, like, so sad.

[C]

Has what episode come out?

[A]

The one with Lizzo yet when it drops.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

So I want to talk about how we were on our. We were on really good behavior that day on the Lizzo podcast. Mostly me, Bob, you know, anytime we've

[B]

been on bad behavior podcast because you start to get wild.

[A]

What is your part in anything ever? Because, Bob, whenever you're a part in anything, you never have any part.

[B]

I'm a good behavior with the guests. You start to get crazy and you start to want to fight. Me in front of the guests.

[A]

Monet, I want to fight you. When we're alone, you be putting on. Exactly. You put on. When company comes over, you act funny. Ooh, hey, wherefore Yandy hither with her brakes. You put on a little fake show. I want people to see the real, the real us. People who sign up for this podcast is because they love us. Not because they love the produce image of. Not because they love Pit Stop Monet. Not because they love Pit Stop Monet. They are here because they love sibling rivalry Monet. Okay. The only reason they go to see the Pit Stop is because they saw you here and they loved you here, honey.

[B]

I was literally talking to Joe Joe about that the other day. I was like, Joe, people that have all these different, all these all like I was a different person on both things. Not I get give those same p. I also said this too. When I watch the Untucked, which you don't till you do Pit Stop, you get more context and I am someone, the more information I get. I get really angry stuff and it will like having one more little piece of information will make me turn on someone.

[A]

So I mean, I, I, I, I'm behind, I'm behind on the Pit Stop. Was, was the Angeria episode fun?

[B]

Yeah, she was fun. Angeria. She's so. She truly is like a Southern bale.

[A]

First of all, the voice is crazy.

[B]

Yeah, she's like a Southern belle and the voice really helped. It was a really fun time.

[A]

Who was your least favorite guest you've had so far?

[B]

Everyone asked me that.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Why? That's so mean spirited.

[A]

So you should so. Which means you've had time to think about it.

[B]

But that's so mean spirited. I have a question.

[A]

I asked you a mean spirited question. I would like an answer, please, before I answer that.

[B]

Why would, why would you want to know that?

[A]

Because I think it's fun. I like drama. Okay, who's the most. Not least favorite. Who's the most difficult? Guess. How about that? That makes it Diabetti.

[B]

No, Diabetter is the most difficult guest we've had so far.

[A]

That doesn't even make sense. I thought y' all would get along so well.

[B]

We did. We did get along. But this, this bitch decided. That wig she wore, she decided to dye it with Manning Pang the night before and then she's on set wearing a fucking fur coat and, and, and it's hot on set. So y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

We had to restart the episode about four times and each time we were. We're like, a good 10, 15 minutes in. Cause the wig was dripping down her face. That's why if you look on the side of her face, there's red all here. Cause she was, like, just bleeding. So that's why when I make that joke about her wig bleeding down the side of her head, it was like the fourth time we had to restart the episode.

[A]

Who's your. Who's your. Who's the guest? That was, like, just so easy and just. You would just have so much fun. It was just so easy to work with.

[B]

Well, there's a lot of those. Bendelacreme. Oh, yeah, that's all right. Bendelacreme was that. Plastique was so fun. Plastique was wild. I was like, oh, Plastique said, y' all say I don't have personality on all Stars. Here she is.

[A]

It was so fun when Plastique came under my house to do my makeup. She is so easy to get along with. Like, she really is. I don't think Plastique has a single enemy. I don't think a. I. Oh, she did. Plastique has enemies for a while.

[B]

Was enemies with her and Naomi.

[A]

That doesn't even. Naomi, I get. Naomi's a bitch. Naomi's kind of a. But not the Naomi part. Just. Just the person who has. Who has beef with those two?

[B]

Yeah, just the person.

[A]

Naomi kind of a. But. But everyone. But who does Naomi. What Is Naomi a bitch? Naomi's kind of a bitch.

[C]

Do you watch?

[A]

Do you watch race chaser

[C]

girl?

[A]

Naomi not. Naomi does not pull punches. Naomi says what she thinks, and she says it with her. With her whole itty bitty little chest.

[C]

Did you see her talking about Sam Star?

[B]

No, I missed that one. I didn't see it.

[C]

Sam Starr was coming down the Runway, and Naomi was like, is she Christian?

[A]

Like, I. That's why I love Naomi. But like, Puzny, like, when Plesni came over, she was just so fucking sweet. Deja Skye, when she came to my house and did my makeup, what an angel. She actually came to my gig with me. Afterwards. We went to. We. I went and did some standup. Me, her and Thorgy went out to the comedy store. Who else came over and was fun. Willem was really fun when she came over. Lil mama Rock em Sakura.

[B]

Someone who was another cool.

[A]

And what's her name, too. Sorry. Bosco. Bosco was so much fun. We hung out afterwards, too.

[B]

Bosco's at your house?

[A]

I mean, it was a while back. Bosco and I did. We went back. We did the Bosco Brow Challenge together.

[B]

Rockam soccer was at your house.

[A]

We did first. First impressions together.

[B]

Oh, I thought I introduced you to her at the studio. I didn't realize you had met before.

[A]

No, we'd already work together.

[B]

Got it. Well, let's take a break, and I have something a little. Maybe a little controversial to talk about. Oh.

[A]

Close your eyes.

[C]

Exhale.

[A]

Feel your body relax.

[B]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[A]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry

[B]

that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[A]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. They're so fast.

[A]

And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

Namaste.

[B]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[A]

1-800-contacts.

[B]

I'm Kiana, and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything.

[A]

Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it

[B]

to me because it's so easy to use. It's like, I can't stop.

[A]

I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail].

[B]

so, Bob, who was who?

[A]

Vanjie. Vanjie was the most difficult guest I've ever had on the. On the Pit Stop. And I think that comes across in the episode.

[B]

When I watched the episode, you had told me beforehand. Cause you literally called me leaving set because of how upset you were. And you think it. It absolutely is. You can see the episode.

[A]

You hid your diabetic. How difficult it was. I could not possibly hide. How at one point I said. I think at one point I said to her, if you don't answer this question, I'm going to kill myself. Like, I couldn't stop this. I was like, I'm.

[C]

This.

[A]

I'm going crazy. I'm losing my mind. You have to answer at least one of these questions.

[B]

You.

[A]

You literally must answer at least one question. She was driving me absolutely insane.

[B]

Liquor.

[A]

Y' all got liquor. I was like, my God. And wait. Have I ever. I've only guessed it for you. You've never guessed it for me, have you?

[B]

Yes, I did. And it was virtual, though. Not. Not in studio.

[A]

I mean, you're an easy answer. That's a cheap answer to say you're my favorite guest the easiest guest I've had. But Thorgy. Thorgy's also a really easy guess.

[B]

Yeah, we have to. We have to leave each other out of it because we're always gonna see each other.

[A]

Yeah, Thorgy's a really easy guest. Thorgy and I always cut up and have fun. I also.

[B]

Thorgy's a good guest for you, but she's.

[A]

She's everybody else. She can be a lot to work with. I've never had to produce Thorgy, so. And who else was. Oh, Willow pill. Willow pill was so funny.

[B]

I don't work Willow pill. Okay.

[A]

Really, really funny. So, I mean, I would. I would actually like to go back and do the pit stop sometime if they'd ever have me.

[B]

Where's my phone? My phone is inside.

[A]

If they ever have me, I would love to go back.

[B]

But let me send you a picture of. Because I don't know when this is coming out, but look what this queen I had. She goes. She was a good.

[C]

We have episodes banked until, like, mid April, so this is. This is going to come out in a while.

[B]

Okay. Nymphia wind was on there. Look what Nymphia wind came to.

[A]

I'm sending it to the group.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sending it to the group. Look what Nymphia Nguyen came to the pit stop as I was screaming.

[A]

Is it a banana?

[B]

No.

[C]

What?

[A]

What am I looking at?

[B]

She's a sponge. Isn't that crazy? She is wild as shit.

[A]

That's our current fucking raining.

[C]

Look at this dress that you're wearing.

[B]

So this is a dress I got online and I just went to get some feathers and Godoy added feathers.

[A]

It looks like the dress that you and I had were matching that time.

[B]

We had matching dress like this. Oh, no, not that. It's another dress I got online. I added ostrich feathers to it to, like, elevate a little bit.

[C]

That's kind of giving cunty scarlet.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I can see that.

[A]

It is giving Cunty scarf. I don't get it. Cunty scarf.

[B]

Scar. Scar.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you not wearing makeup on your leg?

[B]

That's good. Huh?

[A]

You're not wearing makeup on your legs?

[B]

No. Is that a read or is that a compliment?

[A]

It was an observation, but it's a compliment. No, it's not a compliment either. It is an observation, though.

[B]

Are you saying it looks like I have makeup on my legs?

[A]

It looks like you're not wearing makeup on your legs. Why would I put makeup why would

[B]

I put makeup on my legs?

[A]

To even your tone. Naomi doesn't.

[B]

No, she doesn't.

[A]

Yes, she does. She puts makeup in her lotion and she rubs it across her legs.

[B]

Bitch. Nigga, do you put makeup on your legs when you wear your little dresses that your legs be showing?

[A]

I wear tights over them. Even the tone. No, by all, I wear fishnets over them.

[B]

I have seen you wear.

[A]

No, but the fishnets create the illusion of the tone. That's part of the thing that fishnets do from far away. Fishnets create like texture so that it evens it out.

[B]

Nigga, I have been with you when you have not worn. When you were in your little finding your bag. When you were wearing your little open toed shoes and you did not have no fishnets.

[A]

Yes, that was because I was unprepared. If I'm not wearing fishnets, I made a mistake and I wasn't prepared. I would never go out without with my legs out and no fishnets. Unless I was like, oh, shit, I left my fishnets at home. Or I pull my fishnets out and there's a giant hole in them on accident because I packed the wrong fishnets. Which I keep old fishnets around with holes in them because sometimes, like, oh, sometime I want to do the holy look. Like if I'm wearing like something that's kind of punk rocky. So I keep a pair of fishnets with holes in them, but I don't need as many as I have because I end up with sometime when I pack them, if unless you're like pulling them apart, you can't tell where the holes are. And then I'll get into a gig and I'll be like, oh, shit, I packed the ones with the holes in them. It doesn't happen very often, but every once in a while it does happen.

[B]

Got it. Interesting. You know, Bob, I want to talk to you about something.

[A]

Okay, I'm all ears.

[B]

All ears. Because sometimes I can't tell if you're trying to make fun of me or if you're saying it the world. Because at this point I've lost the plot on what is the right way to say it?

[A]

I say ears, you say airs. Ears is the correct word. I'm all ears.

[B]

I'm all ears.

[A]

Ears. Not heirs.

[B]

Ears. Ears.

[A]

What do you breathe in?

[B]

Air.

[A]

What on the side of your head?

[B]

Ear.

[A]

Now say ear.

[C]

Air.

[A]

Like when there's air in your ear.

[B]

I have air in my ear?

[A]

No, say. Say I have ear air.

[B]

I have ear. Ear.

[C]

Can you say I can hear my ear air?

[B]

I can hear my ear. Like hair I can hear my.

[A]

No, I can hear my ear air. I can hear the air. I can hear my ear air.

[B]

I can hear my ear air.

[A]

Say it without pausing. I can hear my ear air.

[B]

I can hear my ear air.

[A]

I can hear my ear air. That's crazy. Say, I can hear the hair on my ear air.

[B]

I can hear the air on my ear. Ear.

[A]

Do you think ear and air are pronounced? Do you think ear and air rhyme?

[B]

I don't know. I don't think so.

[A]

Ear and rhyme.

[B]

Yes, they rhyme.

[A]

Ear and air don't rhyme. Yeah, air and hair rhyme. Ear and near rhyme. They are near rhymes, but they are not rhymes. It's a slant rhyme Again.

[B]

They're a slant rhyme, but it is a slant. What rhyme?

[A]

Ear and ear don't rhyme. I walked to the store just. I walked to the store to buy a piercing from my ear. Went up and I flew to the air. That's rhyme. I went to the store to get a piercing in my ear, and then I jumped on and started to steer.

[B]

Steer.

[A]

Steer.

[C]

Ear.

[A]

Beer. Clear.

[B]

Deer. Drear. Bear.

[A]

Hair.

[C]

Bear.

[A]

Nair.

[B]

Care Bear.

[A]

I can't. I don't understand. Here's the thing, too. When people have accents, my thought process is, even though you're aware that you have an accent, a weird. Even though you're aware that you have an accent, you know what, how it's supposed to sound like. I know that I'm saying wrestling, but I know that wrestling

[B]

is not the word.

[A]

Is not the word. I know that it's not rat. It's wrestling. I know that it's wrestling. Now, there are. There are. There is one word that I cannot tell. There's one specific word. I genuinely can't tell the difference between what it is the thing you write with and the thing that you put to put your wigs on your wig head.

[B]

You know, you don't. A pen and a pen.

[A]

It's a pen and a pen.

[B]

You're right. You just did it.

[A]

You write with a pen.

[B]

No, now you're saying pen.

[A]

You use a pen to.

[B]

Now you said the same thing.

[A]

A pen and a pen.

[B]

You're saying the same thing now. A pin, like it's big, I, E. And eh, eh, eh.

[A]

A pen, right? No one says pan. That's a pan. You cook in a pan.

[B]

That's a.

[A]

That's a. Ah, ah, ah. No, you cook in a pan.

[B]

Right? I said ah.

[A]

You write with a pen.

[B]

I said eh.

[A]

Pass me the. I need to write. Does anyone have a pen? I need to write something.

[B]

Down. You said pen. Like a pen to me.

[A]

I don't hear it. That's one thing I cannot hear. A pen.

[B]

Yeah. So maybe have some empathy about how I feel.

[A]

No, like, so does this, this thing you write with, does it rhyme with a number after 9?

[B]

10. Yes. 10 and Penn rhyme. Yes.

[A]

But to me, the word after the number after nine is the same as a can. That is 10. Nine, 10. A 10. Can. Nine, 10. A 10. Can. No, seven, eight, nine, 10, 10.

[B]

Ben, when send. No, it's all rhyme. What you're saying is can. Band, lamb.

[A]

Sam, are you saying can and lamb rhyme?

[B]

Yes. Can and lamb rhyme. Yeah. I went to the store to get a can and then I was like, oh, I want to cook some lamb.

[A]

That does rhyme. You're right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I said 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. One rat tat. What's that? What's that lamb's name? The one who. The puppet. Lamb chop.

[B]

Lamb chop.

[A]

6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Found out lamb chop is a bit of a lamb.

[B]

No, 10 and lamb do not rhyme, baby.

[C]

This is.

[A]

This is. My brain is turning into goo. Oh, there's a new. There's a new 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8.

[B]

What is that? It's like we can't do it on zoom.

[A]

Think that she fucking ate this Bitch think that she fucking ate. Bitch think that she fucking ate. Thinks she fucking ate. She fucking ate.

[B]

Fucking eight.

[A]

Eight. Fucking eight.

[B]

I haven't seen this one yet.

[A]

She fucking ate. Think she think.

[B]

Yeah, you get it because your hair is so nice and spherical. Hoodies look good. See, like you have like a perfect. Because my oblong ass head, my shirt is be looking tall. I want it to sit on how yours is sitting.

[A]

If I go get this hair transplant that I'm thinking about getting, baby, when my head swells, I'm going to look insane.

[B]

Are you. Are you really thinking about doing it?

[A]

Thinking about it, yeah.

[B]

Are you going to do it in America or are you going to go to Turkey?

[A]

I don't know yet. Well, the thing is, I talked to Mateo who famously had hair transplants, and he's like, go to the guy. Go to. Go to the guy that I use

[B]

and does he do black people?

[A]

That's what I asked. I was like, I need to see a bunch of black people getting their hair done. And Matteo was like, well, according to the people who do the hair, they say that black hair is easier to do than white hair. Apparently. Apparently just Asian hair is the hardest to do. And then like white people hair and then like curly White people, like, Like. Or like, brown Latino people. And then black people is like. Is the easiest. But that's the order of how easy it is. There is this place in Turkey where all the white people go, like, every. Basically everyone on their website is black. Like, every single person they have is black.

[B]

I would do that. I'm gonna tell you. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure it is easier. Then let me see some examples. I want to see some examples.

[A]

I was like, I want to see the book, and I want to see a bunch of niggas in the book.

[B]

Like, yeah, I want it to look

[A]

like the south side of Chicago up in that piece.

[B]

Yeah, I would definitely go somewhere where you've seen black people do it before.

[A]

So I was thinking about going to Turkey, because this. This. This place just does all the black people. And I'm like, I want to. If I do it there. But then I'm like. Then I was thinking about, like, having hair again, and I'm like, it's actually kind of exhausting.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I remember when I had hair, y', all, it was, like, too much because I had. I had a lot of hair. I either had. There. There. I was. I was an afro kid. I had a giant afro.

[B]

Did you?

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. I had an afro for, like, seventh grade until maybe, like, ninth grade, actually. Had an afro. I had a high top fade. Had an Afro. And then I went into locks in 10th grade, and I have those until my second year of college.

[B]

Yeah. When I had. I. You know, I've been talking about thinking about doing that surgery as well, and I was like, yo, have it here again. Like, I'll have to bitch. When I had hair, I used to get. Me and DeWine used to be in the barbershop every week trying to have,

[A]

like, a fresh cut, looking cute weekend of the barbershop. Better than me Every.

[B]

Every week. It was too much.

[A]

If you do even all over, you

[B]

don't have to do that. No, but we were. I wasn't.

[C]

That.

[B]

It was. We had a lineup.

[A]

Move. Move it a little higher. I saw the lineup. Anyway, put it where it actually was.

[B]

So. It's so much upkeep. It's so much up.

[A]

How about this, Monet? The pictures I saw of you, you were holding on longer than you should have been.

[B]

That's not true. As soon as I started thinning out, I. I cut it. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know. The. I don't know if the evidence of what I've seen. Monet you had a bad hairline. You did a photo shoot in the bad hairline, which is crazy to me. The fact that you left the barbershop and then you let someone hold up a camera and take a picture of you, and then you use that picture to, like, go get head. That's crazy to me.

[B]

Well, that's what I did.

[A]

I got a bad haircut. I flew on a plane, I landed, and I shaved my head. And that was my last professional haircut outside of getting a piece ever. I had one bad haircut, and I was like, it's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun. I have to go.

[B]

Hey, having hair and doing drag again sounds so. It sounds like so much. I don't. That. That part of it sounds, like, really exhausting. I'm not looking forward to it.

[A]

I don't want to squeeze in time to go to the barber.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't want to go to a straight barbershop. I want to open up a gay barbershop.

[B]

I mean, I'm sure you can do that.

[A]

Reefy Royalty has a hot body. Good for them. I went to go open up our chat to look at our topics, and then I saw. By the way, just so y' all know, all of my Facebook friends are posting the thottiest. Do you ever realize, go into your Facebook and then just see, like, it is just thoughtiness. Like, Facebook is the new place for millennials to post their thirst traps in their stories. If you go to your Instagram right, Your. Your Facebook right now and look at the very top of the page. You have to go on your laptop, though. I mean, on your computer or something. It is. It is ho. It is whorish.

[B]

Everyone is posting. Everyone's posting that Bad Bunny thing. Yeah, everyone's posting that Bad Bunny picture. Social shoot he did. Yes, we all, y'. All. We know that he's hot.

[A]

What did Bad Bunny do?

[B]

He did, like, a photo shoot for Calvin Klein.

[A]

Jacob, can you post it?

[C]

We need to take an ad break.

[A]

Oh, sorry. We're not looking at the thing. We're looking.

[B]

All right, here we go.

[C]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal, so there goes my big idea for the commercial.

[A]

Commercial.

[B]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of 45 for three months, $90 for

[A]

six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required 15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See Terms.

[C]

And we're back.

[A]

Please keep Jacob's little Amber back in there. Yeah, it is. It is very whorish over on Facebook. The millennials are really in their horror era right now.

[B]

Well, what else. What else is these old ass millennials gonna do?

[A]

I love how horrish it is, honestly.

[B]

He's born in.

[A]

Are you seeing it on your page? Yeah, it's whorish, right? Okay, this is the Bad Bunny. Let me look at the bad bunny real quick. Okay.

[B]

I realize he has so many.

[A]

Should I say something that's kind of controversial?

[B]

What?

[A]

Does Bad Bunny look a little bit like a Muppet in the face?

[B]

A Muppet. I mean, I don't see Muppet, but I don't want to negate that experience for you.

[A]

Have you seen that clip of. Of Tamar Braxton crying because they say she. And it's not funny. And it's not funny. Let me. Let me clear myself up real quick. Tamar Braxton crime. She looks a Muppet.

[B]

This is on. This is on the real. Yeah.

[A]

And Lonnie Love trying with every fiber of her being not to laugh about it. Lonnie Love was so unserious on this show. My favorite clip then been like, where we all be in 10 years? Lane Love said, I'll be dead.

[B]

Wait, why would she say that?

[A]

Well, because he was just being funny and Lonnie was just being a goof.

[B]

You remember when Amanda. When Amanda sue was on there and Girls. Amanda Suez. You see? So that show is so wild, to be honest.

[A]

If I'm being fully honest with you, I don't actually watch the.

[C]

The.

[B]

The.

[A]

The Real or the View. I just see clips. So I've actually never watched. That's a. That's a bit hyperbolic. I don't. I don't watch, though.

[B]

I listen every day. But on. On. Because they put out a podcast now of the View.

[A]

What is this Whoopi Goldberg, Elon Musk kid thing? I tried to look into it, and someone said Whoopi Goldberg fainted in court. And I was like, what? I couldn't actually find. I couldn't find any. I just kept seeing people saying she painted, but I couldn't find any evidence from any reputable source that says she did.

[C]

I think that was fake.

[B]

It's off. It's fake.

[A]

But she Also said that she bullied Elon Musk's son. And all that I saw happen was she said his son's name, which is X, and then someone else said X, and Whoopi Goldberg said, I didn't name the child.

[B]

Yeah, that's literally it. That's it. That's what happened. Girl, you can't any. Everything online is so crazy now. All that crazy shit. Chuck Schumer, fucking dumbass. Just. I mean, who knows?

[A]

But, I mean, is Mitch McConnell still an active member of our Congress?

[B]

Didn't he retire?

[A]

I think he announced his retirement.

[B]

Yeah, I think he announced it, but I think he. He has to finish out his term. Maybe by.

[A]

He needs to go home.

[B]

Well, you know, the government.

[A]

I think Mitch McConnell is the. Y'. All. They. They make. They're talking about Joe Biden. Mitch McConnell is the most obvious visual case we have of cognitive decline, I think, in decades. Yeah, it's wild.

[B]

Well, what's always crazy to me is all these Republican folks that have. That have wives or partners who are POCs and making so much anti POC legislation. Mitch McConnell, J.D. vance. I'm like, what do your wife be doing? Like, wouldn't you be sitting on TV saying this stuff? Do they be at home like, mm, that's right, baby.

[A]

You tell them, wait, Mitch McConnell's wife is black.

[B]

She's Asian.

[A]

That scans for him. Mitch McConnell's wife. Oh, yeah, she is Asian.

[B]

Yeah. I'm like, are there wives at home? Like, yeah, baby, you better tell them.

[A]

You better. You. You better.

[B]

You better let those POCs know what's up.

[A]

She's very pretty. Yeah, I know. She would not be. Want to climb on top of that fucking.

[B]

Ugh.

[A]

That. Imagine that puddle of yogurt.

[B]

I mean, depending on how much change I got, I could do it.

[A]

Ain't no way she'd be happy.

[B]

If Mitch McConnell paid me a. A good bag, I would definitely write it. Right on. Right on.

[A]

The firm. I'm willing to bet every time Mitch McConnell turn around, she'd be like,

[B]

Do you. Do you. Do you believe the conspiracy theory that. That. That. That Melania hates Trump?

[A]

I mean, I guess he's. He's exhausting, and I can. And. And I only deal with him in small, small bits on the. On the Internet. I can't imagine how exhausting it is to live with that man. And I don't think that her quality of life has improved since being with him like this has. Being Trump's first lady has to be exhausting.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

It has to suck. And I imagine that when he wasn't president, she was probably much more relaxed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But now, I mean, Michelle Obama said that being Barack Obama's first lady was exhausting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I can only imagine how stressful it is to be Donald Trump, Redonda Trump's first lady. You know what I mean?

[B]

Radonda Trump.

[A]

I say Radona Trump sometime. Oh, well, what if you had a

[B]

partner that went into politics and you had to, like, what did JK wanted to.

[A]

I have my home. He has his home. I have my career. He has his career. I'm happy, he's happy.

[B]

He's happy. We.

[A]

I can't remember the whole speech, but I'd be like, I ain't joining you in your work.

[B]

But every Cheryl. Every Cheryl Lee Ralph interview is because

[A]

you having a stroke.

[B]

Every Cheryl Lee Ralph interview is a fucking I have a dream speech. I feel living for it, girl. She'd be like, cheryl, what'd you have for lunch today? I had tender greens, and we had the salmon with the arugula salad and the mashed potatoes.

[A]

I had salmon, he had turkey. I had arugula, he had kale. I had mint julep, he had lemonade. We were both very happy.

[B]

I'm obsessed with her. I love Shirley Rowe. Do you watch Abbott Elementary?

[A]

I've seen a few episodes.

[B]

I don't want.

[A]

I have not seen every single episode, but, yeah, I've seen quite a few episodes of Abbott.

[C]

Mateo's just on it.

[B]

Yeah, Mateo's just on it. I haven't seen it.

[A]

He's dating Wyatt. Is. It's actually. No, white. It's actually pronounced Wyatt.

[B]

Wyatt. Yeah, he's dating Larry Owen's character. Yeah, a lot of queens. Symone was on that show. Shea Cooley was on that show. Mateo Lane has been on that show. Sydney Washington was on there.

[A]

Anyone but us.

[B]

I know everyone. They're like. Apparently. You know what? They not like us, but they still won't accept us. It's crazy.

[C]

Why do.

[A]

Why do people not like us, Monet?

[B]

Is that a serious question?

[A]

What did we do?

[B]

I venture to guess that something you done said me.

[A]

I just want to be clear again. You have nothing to do with any of this.

[B]

No, I do.

[A]

You actually believe that when you say it out loud.

[B]

Mom, I will never forgive you for not being invited to the. To the Fenty Beauty Influencer thing in Barbados.

[A]

Well, you know what? I would say this right now. Rihanna can kick rocks for not inviting my best friend. Honey. In fact, Rihanna, we don't want to be

[B]

y'. All Amelia J. Please don't put that in there.

[A]

Rihanna, we don't want to go. Ain't that right, bestie? My best friend. We a real bad bitch on the dam.

[B]

I would try to go. I love Rihanna. I wish I.

[A]

We don't even want to be invited. So you know what? Continue to not invite us, cuz we will rise above. Bomo is coming for Fenty Beauty.

[B]

The hell it is. Yeah, come. Come to. To clean. To clean. To be the janitor for fucking Fenty Beauty. Girl, it looks so fun. They were like literally hanging out with Rihanna in Barbados. She brought them to Barbados.

[A]

When are you going to Fiji?

[B]

So what?

[A]

Worth it. No, I want to be barbarian. The only reason you got that is because of your connections to me. You're welcome. Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe Ronna doesn't like me. But you know who does? Jeff Probst. I DM'd him anyways, I DM Jeff Probst. And I said, can. I said, as a star of the most popular as. As the breakout star of the most popular television show on reality tv, do you think your underling little old ass fucking boomer show could. I'll do you a favor and I might retweet if you let my friend go to Fiji.

[B]

You're so silly.

[A]

And then he said. And he said, of course. All hell. The Queen of the traitors.

[B]

The Queen of the traitors.

[A]

I got called the Queen of the Traders. Rob called me the Queen of the Traitors. And I hate that it didn't air. I love that little compliment. He goes, I believe you are the Queen of the Traitors. I cannot do his accent.

[B]

He ended at the roundtable to get you out during.

[A]

During our battle. He was like, I believe you're the Queen of the traitors.

[B]

Damn. Are you gonna try to make Witch Hunt like your own TV spinoff show?

[A]

No, I'm just gonna do it on YouTube and TikTok and it's just a fun little game for us to play on TikTok. And do you really wanna play the next one? It takes like three hours to play a full game.

[B]

But why would you ask if I really want to play? I love games. Why would I? You think I'm just pulling, yanking your chain?

[A]

So the way we do it, it starts with interviews. I have to interview everyone because otherwise we're just like. I'm just picking random people. So I like for the audience to get to know who the people are. I do a long line with.

[B]

Not a long.

[A]

It's not a long. It's like, what do you do? Where you from? How old are you? Can you think you're good at spotting? Are you serious about hunting witches? Like, do you have any experience with witches? Have you ever. You know, just silly stuff. But I want. I need to get some. What do you call it? Some. Some interface, like, stuff like, with, like, cool backgrounds and, like, music and stuff. I don't know how to insert the music yet.

[B]

Got it. Yeah, I would definitely. I would definitely want to play. Can I be. Can I. Can I play the guy to be on Clean up the Castle? Fergus.

[A]

Fergus. No, you have to compete.

[B]

I don't want to be Fergus.

[A]

You don't want to compete?

[C]

No, Patrick is. Patrick is Fergus.

[A]

Patrick is very. Fergus is twinky little nephew.

[B]

No, I'll confuse.

[A]

Patrick would be actually a really good actor to work on the traitors as, like, Fergus's twinkie little nephew.

[B]

That would be cute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bibi has been calling me for, like, all these. Sorry, go ahead.

[A]

Be with a Harbin A. Yeah, I can only keep standing. It's a voicemail every time.

[B]

No, I was on the podcast. People, people, people. Here's the thing about, like, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Physical Ivory is a very important thing for myself and Bob. When I be doing a podcast and I don't answer, I'm like, sorry, I was in a podcast. Like, oh, I didn't answer, nigga. Because I was at work. Because I was at work.

[C]

I feel like you've absolutely answered calls

[B]

during the podcast before I stop, though, it's been a very long time. I've stopped doing it because I'm like, I feel like if I was doing a gig on stage, would I answer the phone? Depending on the show, I probably will.

[A]

I just sent Nick to voicemail. Well, Nick doesn't call. He. Nick always uses Facebook video messenger whenever he calls.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So y' all be FaceTiming without me?

[A]

Yeah, all the time, actually. Me and Nick probably talk every day.

[B]

Wow. Nicholas Smith. You know, I think there was. There was a multiverse where Nick and I could have dated.

[A]

We still. Everyone's alive.

[B]

Too late now.

[A]

Too late for what?

[B]

I'm not interested anymore.

[A]

All right, well, too bad for Nick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what? Down the line, I tried to get Nick and Patty today, but it was not. I don't think they saw it for

[B]

each other, and I think they gave it an avid effort. I will say I remember the time when they were hanging out a lot. I think they really did. The sparks didn't fly.

[A]

I've tried to hook Monet up before.

[B]

With who?

[A]

I took you multiple times.

[B]

Who? I don't remember this. Who was it you started?

[A]

We'll talk about it. Offline.

[B]

No, tell me the name now.

[A]

Tell me what Offline.

[B]

Why would you do that?

[A]

Well, I did try to get with someone.

[B]

Let me see what this nigga's saying. Did Jacob know that someone. Someone just sent a message.

[A]

Jacob. I just posted that. You and Jacob.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I do know this.

[B]

Oh yeah, but Bob, there wasn't. You weren't serious.

[A]

You don't know what my intentions are.

[B]

No. Meaning, like for me. Like they wouldn't. That would not work. I'm not.

[A]

I tried to hook Zach and Nick up too.

[B]

They live in two different states.

[A]

Okay, Jacob, Nick was already in a long distance relationship. Nick's done long distance and he didn't like it. He didn't say that.

[B]

He didn't. I mean, they're not together, are they?

[A]

But that's not because it was long distance.

[B]

I think that's what it was.

[A]

You're just picking a thing that you're like. That's like saying because Nick's tall. It didn't work out. You're just picking a thing that is true and saying that's the reason why the way relationship didn't work.

[B]

Do you know. Do you know if it was. If it was not the reason?

[A]

I know it wasn't the reason because Nick and I talk all the time.

[B]

I'll be calling Nick. He just don't be answering the phone.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

Yeah, I think he's busy often, which is fine. I'm not mad.

[A]

Nick would text you back if you call Nick and he's a. He's busy. He would text you back. So I know you're lying. I know when you're lying. That's why you're lucky you were not in the motherfucking castle with me because I would have clocked your tea immediately.

[B]

Honey, if we were in Traders together, would you have, do you think? Okay, we're on Traders together. You're a traitor. I'm a faithful. Do you protect me?

[A]

For as long as possible, but you be trying to get slick in the mouth about me. So I would. I would. If you. If you.

[B]

If you.

[A]

If you try to get sideways one time, you're. You're going to be undone. And you and I play mafia together enough times to know that I can

[B]

do that to you and vice versa.

[A]

And we know that we. Because we know that I could gather

[B]

you and then it will be. It'll be. It'll be mutually assured destruction, because I'm taking you down with me.

[A]

Um, but I think. I mean, I would. I would hope that we could work together again. I want to reiterate to y', all, like, all of you in the world who do casting on television, like, you're all fools for not casting me and Monet at the same time on TV shows. Like, y' all have made this drag race, y' all. Even. Even. What's the fuck shall we do after midnight?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Feminine. Yeah.

[A]

They'll be like, yeah, one at a time.

[B]

That's why we need to buy. We just need to make our own TV show that we're on together.

[A]

Well, I have an idea for a show that I want to do.

[B]

Which one? What is this one? Now?

[A]

I have tons of ideas.

[B]

You know, are you. Are you. I think everyone. Everyone knows this about you. Bob has an idea for every minute of the day.

[A]

Well, I have our clown show that I want to do.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I'm not a clown.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm not a clown. That's your thing.

[A]

What are you?

[B]

I'm a glamazon.

[A]

Okay, sure. Jan, let's call Byla and ask her where you are.

[B]

That's what I was gonna say. We were talking about queens earlier who were. Whatever. I was like, you know, Gottmik is always a good time at a party. Do you agree?

[A]

Sometimes a little too good of a time.

[B]

Well, yeah, but most of the time

[A]

before she be having a little too much of a good time, before she's

[B]

too good of a time, she's always for Mick. Nick. Nick. Mick is good in a room. Like, she talks to everyone. She's very electric at a party setting. Do you agree with this?

[A]

Yeah, I agree. Me and Mick were hanging out at. At the Avalon. Avalon party. Yeah, I was there, and we were. We were just buddy, buddy. The whole night. She was so fun. The whole night.

[B]

Yeah. Violet. When you get Violet away from other people, she's fun. At a party, she can. She can, like, post up a little too much, try to be. She's trying to be too, too much, that girl. I'm like, violet, you can just be fun and nice and have a good time.

[A]

You want to isolate her and make her feel lonely, and then she can be fun.

[B]

Yeah. Like a wounded gazelle in the Serengeti. You gotta just get her away from her pack.

[A]

I've never hung out with Kandy Muse, but she seems fun.

[B]

I never have either. I never have either. Out of the new girls, is there Anyone that you would, like, want to hang out with and kiki with and

[A]

chill with Jewel Sparkles.

[B]

Jewel Sparkles. I would hang out with her.

[A]

Morphine.

[B]

How was the hangout with Plane Jane the other day?

[A]

Oh, it was fun. I enjoy. I enjoy our time together. Plane James was pretty, pretty fun. We. We did the gig together and then we went to a bar afterwards and then we got to a fight on the streets with. With a stranger.

[B]

I saw that. With that homophobe. Yeah. Would you. Would you. Would you. Would you smash plane?

[A]

I don't have, like, a particular desire to.

[B]

Would you smash morphine?

[A]

I don't have a particular desire to. And how about you? All those people, Plane Jane.

[B]

Um, you know, you know, Plane J hit on me.

[A]

Answer the motherfucking question.

[B]

I don't think plane is my type. Plane. I meant she's a little too small. She's right on the cusp of tall enough, size enough for me, but also like on the cusp of she's a little too small. I feel too much bigger than her.

[A]

Plan Jane has this energy. I don't know how to describe it to y', all, but out of drag. Plan Jane has this energy. This is the best way I can describe it. That was just for the people watching.

[B]

Yeah, I kind of get what you're saying.

[A]

I don't know. I can't even explain it beyond that. But that's just the energy that Plane Jane has. I think it's fun and I think she's a real good. I really enjoy playing Jane.

[B]

I love hanging out with her.

[A]

I love her. We were at this party. Upenn Me Jane, Crystal Method. It was after the Queerties. A lot of people were there. Oh, and this really, really, really, really, really hot guy came up to playing Jane and started hitting on him and was like, oh, my God. Like, I want to. Like. I don't know. I don't know what he was saying because I wasn't there. But I came over. Chris Smith was like, bob, that guy? Would you hook up with that guy? I was like, yeah, he's super hot. And then Chris Smith was like, well, he's hitting on Jade. And she's like, no. And I looked at James like, you're not here. She goes, she goes, no, I want the bartender.

[B]

And what was the bartender? What did the bartender look like?

[A]

He looked like. He might have been like. Like a. Like a brown skin, like a light brown skinned Latino person with curly hair. Like long curly hair and like kind of a messy beard, goatee, like a little Unkempt, but. But still, like, not, not wild. Dressed in all black, obviously.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Kind of average build.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And the person that she did not want to hook up with was very, very slim. Wearing like a crop top jacket with like. They made this suit they were wearing. They could be like, I made this suit. They kept telling anyone who would listen. And by the way, it was actually a beautiful outfit. So I would tell people too. With like.

[B]

It sounds like you're describing Elias Matzo. Elias Mesa, designer from New York.

[C]

The twin can make head of body like Elias Matt.

[A]

So yeah, head of body just like Elias Matso.

[B]

Elias is so hot, by the way,

[A]

with a, With a, with a. A very, like, big butt for someone. Like a very bubbly butt for someone so slim. And I can't remember if they're wearing like platform shoes or not, but they look to be with the shoes. Roughly 5, 10ish. And they had kind of curly hair. Oh, my God. It literally sounds like a last mess.

[B]

I feel like. I feel like Janet and Jane is a top, right?

[A]

I didn't ask or verse.

[B]

I think it's like verse top.

[A]

I didn't bother to ask.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm not like coming. I'm just trying to ask.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

See, you act like I'm offended. I just literally be like. I'd be like, as calm. Be like, I didn't ask.

[B]

And you'd be like, damn, I told you this. The energy you come with, you should

[A]

know me by now. This is how I respond. It's not like you should know this by now. You should be able to figure out my social cues by now.

[B]

I know. And sometimes I feel like I have and I'm like, oh, Bob's not coming for me. And then you say something, oh, he's coming for me. So you know what? I can't read.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I can't read the doll Sometimes, Sometimes I can't.

[A]

Sometimes I'm not coming for you until you do a thing and then you. Then you activate the cum, to quote you.

[B]

What's your part in that? I'm just the one instigating all, all, all, all, all of your reactions.

[A]

See, I said sometimes. Did you know how I said sometimes?

[B]

Sometimes. I run sometimes.

[A]

Okay, Diabetti.

[B]

I forgot what she looks like out of Dragon.

[A]

Do you want. Do we want to do one called the Smash List where we both come with a list of queens we want to smash?

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

And we. And we talk about why we want to smash. Would that be problematic? No, that would be Kind of everything.

[B]

I want to give you everything. I'm down. Let's do it.

[A]

So Monet and I, we will get the smash.

[B]

Monet and I. Now who's Jamaican? I. Jacob. You don't hear that

[C]

a little bit? On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say it was like maybe a 4. It was there, but I don't think it was as prominent as you were insinuating that it was monetary.

[A]

I was headed to. Driving to the studio the other day, and I was singing under the Sea, and I was like, I could have been this role.

[B]

I think that's your toxic trait, thinking you could do all these musical roles that you can't.

[A]

I can't. Why can't I?

[B]

You don't have a Jamaican accent.

[A]

I could do a Jamaican accent.

[B]

Let me hear you say, the seaweed

[A]

is always greener in somebody else's lake. You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you. Right here on the ocean floor. Such wonderful things surround you. What more is you looking for?

[B]

On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give that a 6.

[A]

That was every bit as good as Daveed Diggs is.

[B]

Is Daveed Diggs Jamaican?

[A]

No, I don't think so. I'm almost positive he's not Devee.

[B]

How the fuck you spell Davee?

[A]

I think it's day. A day. A D, a V, E. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Davee Diggs. I see you.

[A]

Where he from? Pennsylvania.

[B]

Girl, he black.

[C]

He is from Oakland.

[A]

Let's hear yours.

[B]

Wait. Daveed Diggs from Hamilton. Oh, he did it in the remake.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Sebastian Wright was the original. Oh, that's Samuel E. Wright.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

Samuel E. Wright was the original. Sebastian.

[A]

And the ring accent. Come on, sing it.

[B]

The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's yard. I don't even know the words.

[A]

Someone else's lake. That's where seaweed is. There's no seaweed in someone's yard. Why would there be seaweed in your yard? Just sing under the Sea.

[B]

Under the sea. Under the sea.

[A]

I think mine was better than yours, Jacob. Rate them.

[B]

To be fair, I don't have a Jamaican accent, so I don't.

[C]

I'm going to be fully honest. I was pulling up an interview of the original voice for Sebastian talking without the Sebastian accent so we could hear. So I wasn't paying specific attention to who was doing the best.

[A]

I'm calling Marvin. We're both going to sing under the Sea and Marvin's gonna tell us who sounds the most Jamaican.

[C]

This is the voice of Sebastian. Not in the accent one.

[A]

Either way. No, I couldn't. Well, I wish you had some, Marvin. We're both good. Monet. Look up the lyrics under the sea.

[C]

And Monet also gets a phone call as well to judge for her. If you're.

[A]

I mean, it's Marvin.

[C]

Marvin's Jamaican, so Monet has other friends who are Jamaican friends.

[A]

Marvin, you're on the podcast. Monet and I are both going to. Monet and I are going to sing under the Sea. You're going to tell us who has the best Jamaican accent. Okay, here we go. I'm first. This is Bob. The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake. You dream about going up there but that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you. Right here on the ocean floor. Such wonderful things surrounding you. What more is you looking for? Under the sea, under the sea. All right, now, here goes Monet. Let's see. Just don't.

[B]

We're.

[A]

Don't. You can't give critiques. Then Monet will steal the critiques. Hold on. Go Mo.

[B]

The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake. You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you. Right here on the ocean floor. Such wonderful things around. What more is you looking for?

[A]

Under the sea.

[B]

Under the sea, under the sea.

[A]

All right, Marvin, chime in as an. As an actual Jamaican who had the best Jamaican accent.

[B]

Best.

[A]

Monet's was.

[B]

Was sonically better tone wise.

[A]

Well, yeah, she can sing better than me. Obviously. We're talking about accent. We're not talking about singing.

[B]

Well, you just roll your Rs. A lot like both of you.

[A]

Monet wrote her Rs. We both wrote our Rs.

[B]

I flipped my RS equally.

[A]

I can hear that. Monet has.

[B]

Is Caribbean. Thank you.

[A]

So you're.

[B]

So. You lose good.

[A]

Fake ass Jamaican. You British. Bye, fake ass Jamaican.

[B]

Sir. You lose.

[A]

He can't even make jerk chicken. A bitch ain't Jamaican, but a chick still jerking.

[B]

Isn't that one of your lyrics?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For which song?

[A]

On a song we're on together, Monet.

[B]

Oh, Roach Sampus. Roach Killer.

[A]

Well, the way I know your whole discography, you can't even remember songs that we're on together is crazy. I remember your whole verse.

[B]

Do you really?

[A]

I just need the first word. But do you remember my verse? Shoes on point and you know it. Shoes on point and you know it.

[C]

Do you know your verse?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Shoes on point and you know it. A bitch broke as hell but a bitch don't show it Get a BBL if a bitch can't grow it Tax refund and a bitch gonna blow it Ow. When they say work, I'm working. The ass ain't fat but a stills twerking a ain't Jamaican but a chick still jerking something, something, something but the bag ain't real but it looked like a Birkin.

[B]

There it is. You're such a good writer.

[C]

You did those out of order, but you did get them.

[A]

Thank you. Yeah, it was. It was. Yeah. Somewhere in there. How. How did yours are, Mom.

[B]

Stomp, stomp, stomping like a naked on the Runway like you're naked on the Runway Stomp, stomp, stomping like it's something, something. Jacob, what is it?

[A]

You have the lyrics pulled up, Jacob.

[B]

That's a no. Also, so y' all spend rent money

[A]

on some tickets to Beyonce. See y'. All.

[B]

He. He was looking at Bon. So. He didn't look at my stuff, though.

[A]

It's the same song, mon. He doesn't scroll back.

[B]

It take half an hour to scroll back.

[A]

Maybe Jacob went to the bathroom. You thought, oh, sorry.

[C]

I was. I. Sorry. I was muted and I was. I have the lyrics. I'm here.

[B]

How does stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp stomping like the Dr. On the motherfucking Runway Spent rent money Gagging the goods with the looks Turning them tag still on? Cause tomorrow I'm returning them Broke as hell. I broke a nail and worried about it Call collect, I bounced the check I highly doubt a haters I just got paid spin y' all with Raid.

[A]

I remember when we were getting ready to shoot the video Money, what I

[B]

do now

[A]

Money is such a troll.

[B]

What did I do?

[A]

It was just so trolley. I don't know why I let it get under my skin, but it just bothered me because the song's already been recorded, right? So Monet goes, when they do my part, I'm gonna say, spraying y' all with Raid. I'm gonna say, spray, y' all would Raid. And I was like, well, no, you can't do that, Monet, because it's already been recorded. Like, you can't. It won't match what you're saying. Emily was like, I'm gonna say it.

[B]

I don't think I said that.

[A]

You did. And I kept being like, monet, you can't. You kept being like, I'm gonna do it. And I was like, you would have to have done that. In the studio, in the booth. You can't just switch it now. Monet was like, well, I'm gonna have him switch it.

[B]

If I did, it was probably just to literally just argue and just.

[A]

It was trolling. But your trolling works on me for whatever reason. It's beyond me. It is beyond me, honey. So you. Okay, There you go. Three digits. Three digits into the ear, bitch. There has to be bad for your head, for your ear. No, I don't like the noises. Into the mic. Into the mic is crazy.

[B]

You have some nerve, nigga. Do you remember the other day when you burped into the. Into the mic, you said blah. And literally the comments were like, no, Bob, that was gross. Please don't do that again.

[A]

There were some people who were very impressed.

[B]

I don't. Yeah, impressed by how disgusting it was. Correct.

[A]

Everything I do isn't for the masses. I do some stuff for the few, the proud. The marines, I would say you have

[B]

stopped your nose, your sniffling thing. Is your septum fixed?

[A]

No, I just do this. I lean back or I just suffer.

[C]

Quiet.

[B]

People think she's a suffer. And I do.

[A]

Thank you all for coming to listen to our podcast today.

[B]

Bye Bye. Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ads, go to Libsyn ads.com that's L, I B S Y N ads.com today.