The One About Sydnee Washington

Summary

Summary of "Sibling Rivalry" Podcast Episode: The One About Sydnee Washington

Podcast Title: Sibling Rivalry
Episode Title: The One About Sydnee Washington
Release Date: November 13, 2024
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen
Guest: Jared Goldstein & Sydnee Washington

Description:
Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen, the dynamic and hilariously engaging duo behind the popular podcast "Sibling Rivalry," host comedian Sydnee Washington in a special episode. This episode delves into their touring experiences, the intricacies of queer comedy, personal anecdotes, and vibrant discussions on various pop culture topics.

---

Introduction

The episode kicks off with Monét X Change expressing her excitement about having Sydnee Washington on the show. She introduces the concept of their tour, mentioning other phenomenal comedians who have joined them, such as Jared Goldstein, Roz Hernandez, Solomon Giorgio, Zack Noe Towers, and Jay Jordan.

Monét X Change [03:30]: "I want to know who we sue, y'all. I am so excited because I have an amazing guest with me today."

Touring Tales and Show Highlights

Monét and Jared share their experiences from a recent show in Phoenix, highlighting the unmatched energy and outstanding performances by all comedians involved. They reminisce about the challenges and memorable moments from the tour, including backstage interactions and the overwhelming positive feedback from the audience.

Monét X Change [04:27]: "We were all on our A game. And someone was posted by the theater itself and then said, 'best set I've ever seen.'"

They discuss the similarities and differences between their shows and larger comedy showcases like Queens of Comedy, emphasizing that despite performing in smaller venues, their energy and humor remain top-notch.

Jared Goldstein [06:38]: "I really felt like I was part of Queens of Comedy."

Costumes and Personal Insights

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Monét's drag costumes. They delve into Monét's minimalist approach, where she prefers to give away or sell her elaborate costumes instead of keeping them. This segment offers a glimpse into the behind-the-scenes aspects of drag performance and the emotional attachments comedians have to their outfits.

Monét X Change [15:54]: "I'm not quite a hoarder, but I do have a sentimental attachment to my costumes."

Jared Goldstein [16:14]: "Monet will throw in... She's selling them so cheap."

Pop Culture and Celebrity Commentary

The hosts engage in lively discussions about various celebrities and pop culture phenomena. They share humorous takes on celebrities like Michaela J. Rodriguez, Cheryl Lee Ralph, and the iconic dresses from RuPaul's Drag Race being displayed in museums. These segments are peppered with witty banter and personal anecdotes, making the conversation both entertaining and insightful.

Monét X Change [10:36]: "I don't get starstruck too often, but this time I was like, my heart was racing."

Jared Goldstein [27:00]: "No offense, I'm talking. Can we get a little younger? Just a smidge younger?"

LGBTQ+ Community Terminology and Representation

A substantial part of the episode focuses on the use of specific terms within the LGBTQ+ community, such as "dyke" and "sapphic." The hosts explore the nuances of reclaiming language, the importance of inclusive terminology, and the challenges young lesbian comedians face in gaining recognition. They emphasize the need for broader representation and understanding within the community.

Sydney Washington [60:35]: "Sapphic is an umbrella term that includes people of all gender identities that still like lean toward the lesbian way without necessarily falling under the lesbian category."

Jared Goldstein [51:10]: "We are humans. We are flawed. Nobody should be put on a pedestal."

Guest Highlights: Sydnee Washington

Sydnee Washington shares her journey as a comedian, discussing the nuances of queer comedy and the significance of authentic representation. Monét and Bob provide support and share their own experiences, fostering a collaborative and supportive environment.

Monét X Change [48:46]: "Sydney Washington is one of the funniest fucking comedians in the game right now."

Key Insights and Conclusions

The episode wraps up with reflections on the state of queer comedy, the importance of mentorship, and the continuous evolution of comedic expression within the LGBTQ+ community. The hosts advocate for inclusivity, understanding, and the celebration of diverse voices in comedy.

Jared Goldstein [51:10]: "We are humans. We are flawed. Nobody should be put on a pedestal."

Monét X Change [67:16]: "I feel like we need another era of young lesbian comedians."

Notable Quotes

• Monét X Change [03:30]: "I want to know who we sue, y'all."
• Jared Goldstein [06:38]: "I really felt like I was part of Queens of Comedy."
• Sydney Washington [60:35]: "Sapphic is an umbrella term..."
• Jared Goldstein [51:10]: "We are humans. We are flawed."
• Monét X Change [48:46]: "Sydney Washington is one of the funniest..."

Conclusion

"The One About Sydnee Washington" episode of "Sibling Rivalry" offers an engaging blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions on queer comedy and representation. Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen, alongside guests Jared Goldstein and Sydnee Washington, create a vibrant and inclusive space that resonates with both longtime listeners and newcomers alike. This episode stands out as a testament to the power of authentic dialogue and the enduring spirit of comedic camaraderie.

Transcript

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monét X Change]

A woo hooer? A hand clapper?

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[Monét X Change]

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[Monét X Change]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[Sydney Washington]

And I'm Mon Exchange.

[Monét X Change]

And this is simply rivalry. On this week's episode, we welcome Sydney Washington to the podcast where we out.

[Jared Goldstein]

Lesbian comedians and we find out what.

[Monét X Change]

Made Sydney say this.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, he's living bad then. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Monét X Change]

I wanna know who we sue, y'all. I am so excited because I have an amazing guest with me today. I've had some phenomenal comedians join me on this tour. Jared Goldstein. You know Jared?

[Jared Goldstein]

I love Jared.

[Monét X Change]

Hilarious. From Long Island.

[Jared Goldstein]

I did not know that.

[Monét X Change]

From Long Island. I didn't.

[Jared Goldstein]

The more you know.

[Monét X Change]

Right. Roz Hernandez. Have you met Roz yet?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I have not met Roz.

[Monét X Change]

I want to say Roz is from Michigan. Solomon Giorgio from Seattle.

[Jared Goldstein]

Love Solomon.

[Monét X Change]

Insane. Everyone's been so funny. Zack Noe Towers.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes.

[Monét X Change]

Incredible, wildly funny. Jay Jordan.

[Jared Goldstein]

Love him as well.

[Monét X Change]

Bangers on bangers. And right now, closing out the tour, we have Sydney Washington.

[Jared Goldstein]

Save the best for last.

[Monét X Change]

There it is.

[Jared Goldstein]

Honey, I didn't wanna say.

[Monét X Change]

Well, I will say this. Okay. We just did a show in Phoenix. What? I almost cried.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was a phenomenal show. The energy was unmatched.

[Monét X Change]

I almost cried. So my friends Amber and Jasmine w. Just like, they were like, we're gonna come see the show. We wanna come. Well, they're both moms and they were like, you know when. You know, when moms get rid of the kids, they be like, let's go to the moon.

[Jared Goldstein]

We gotta go. We make it. In a moment, we go.

[Monét X Change]

So they came to see me and they're both comedians. And I was like, come on, do some time. It'll be fun. Everyone was in rare form. We were all on our A game. And someone, Someone, I'm not saying who, was posted by the theater itself and then said, best set I've ever seen. I was like, I'll just eat shit and die.

[Jared Goldstein]

I was like, I think it was the security guard. The security guard, definitely.

[Monét X Change]

They were like filling you.

[Jared Goldstein]

They. Well, you know, I talk about meth. So I felt like they were like, we feel seen.

[Monét X Change]

You also told them you, like, I'll dabble in dick if I need to.

[Jared Goldstein]

If I need To. But it's not gonna be in Phoenix, I'll tell you that much.

[Monét X Change]

They didn't know if you were doing bad or not. They didn't know. They didn't know if you was down bad.

[Jared Goldstein]

They saw the lace. They were like, I think you might be sucking dick soon. No. Yeah. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

But you were. I mean, we were all backstage. First of all, Andy, who travels with us, never sticks around for the show.

[Jared Goldstein]

Which I was looking for him the whole time.

[Monét X Change]

Maybe. Andy was sitting at the right by the entrance, watching, listening to every word, gagging. Andy's. It was such a good show.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was a great. And the energy was amazing. You were phenomenal. Honestly, it. The laughs were so loud, right? I was like, do you have time to pause?

[Monét X Change]

And it wasn't even our biggest room, like, the show. I mean, the show we did in Austin was. Was pretty massive.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was huge. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

And it felt like that. It felt. It was. They were somehow with, like, a room half the size. They were matching the energy of awesome, which was like, literally a three, two balconies. And this room was. It was like a theater in the round.

[Jared Goldstein]

And you know what? I hate the round stage. I hate it. Cause it just feels like I want. I have to move all the way.

[Monét X Change]

I'm not moving.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was great for you.

[Monét X Change]

You adapted really well.

[Jared Goldstein]

I loved it. I love seeing you. I love seeing everyone came together and made it like, I wish you should have filmed it.

[Monét X Change]

I honestly, I was like, you should have filmed it. I felt like. I really felt like I was part of Queens of Comedy.

[Jared Goldstein]

You did say that. And I was like, are you putting us in a box? Are you putting us. You're not saying we're not mainstream?

[Monét X Change]

Is that what you're saying was mainstream, though, wasn't it? It wasn't the biggest Kings of Comedy?

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, no.

[Monét X Change]

But it was funnier.

[Jared Goldstein]

I agree.

[Monét X Change]

Who's your favorite from Queens of Comedy?

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm gonna say Monique. I. Something about her energy, because she was the. She was the headliner. She was a headliner, and she knew it, and she felt it. And sometimes it's not always about the jokes. It's about the presence and the energy. And the energy. So she gave it. She gave me the business.

[Monét X Change]

She had the energy, for sure. I feel like, for me, I have been in a. First of all, I love Monique. I love all the queens. I'm obsessed with Adele Givens. I want to write a show one day and have Adele Givens play my mom in the show.

[Jared Goldstein]

What? I can see it. That's Perfect casting.

[Monét X Change]

And Adele Givens kind of reminds me of my mother, too. Shout out to Martha Caldwell, RIP. But Adele Givens kind of reminds me of my mom a little bit, but I am a some more stale.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's right. Oh, my God. You know what?

[Monét X Change]

Lock the dough.

[Jared Goldstein]

Samo the big dick.

[Monét X Change]

You know, it's one big dick nigga in the back, like, locked the door. No.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. I forgot. Yes. How could I forget? She. I actually had a crush on her. I was like, that makes sense. If I was. She is. I don't know if it's the hair. It's just the short hair. I don't know if it's the hair. It feels more like. Do you know Paris Sashay?

[Monét X Change]

No.

[Jared Goldstein]

Paris Sashay. She's a gay comedian. She has really big boobs. She has a short haircut, but it's something about, like, you're very feminine, but also, like that mask. Energy.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. She gives Auntie with a roommate.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. But I don't know if she would like that. I'm not saying she would be, but I'm saying I don't know if she would.

[Monét X Change]

She's pretty gay friendly.

[Jared Goldstein]

She is.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, she's gay friendly.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, Adele Givens is Adele Given that famous as a lesbian sister.

[Jared Goldstein]

No way.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. She has a joke where she says she goes, I believe you're born gay because my sister was a tom boy and she's a tom man now. That's Adele Givens joke. That's not my joke.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, no.

[Monét X Change]

But yeah. So, I mean, I feel like all the queens of. I can't vouch for Ms. Laura. I feel like. I feel like Monique has a gay son. Adele has a gay sister. And some more. I mean, some more did have a bit about how she was. How did she go to jail one time?

[Jared Goldstein]

She did. She did. And she what? She did do a bit about that. Yeah, yeah.

[Monét X Change]

She go, eden ain't cheating. She said, well, we gonna be fighting. Cause I ain't d.

[Jared Goldstein]

Which is the polite homophobia.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Yeah. Some more. If you're watching, I stan you. I found that she. I almost cried when I found that she follows me on Instagram. I went to.

[Jared Goldstein]

She follows you on Instagram.

[Monét X Change]

I went to go. I was like, I'm not following some more. And I went to go follow some more. And I was like, oh, my God. Follow back is crazy.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I just want to say this because nowadays everybody got followers. They got tons of followers. Millions, mind you. But it's sometimes about how many followers is who is following the quality you.

[Monét X Change]

Know what blew my mind the other day? Okay. I was at the Wicked premiere. You remember? I left the tour to go do just.

[Jared Goldstein]

Just casually at the Wicked premiere.

[Monét X Change]

A picture of me at the Wicked premiere.

[Jared Goldstein]

The Wicked premiere.

[Monét X Change]

Shout out to Rob Bryant, my stylist. And Goodoy, who made this outfit. I love that. And Leila McQueen, who did my makeup. And the guy from Dallas who did my hair.

[Jared Goldstein]

Can I just say, I love that?

[Monét X Change]

I would give the guy from Dallas a shout out if he gave me a discount.

[Jared Goldstein]

Well, I think that's a reason to get a shout out. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

But I didn't get a discount. I paid him. Who's in this motherfucker? I don't know why I did the burnout.

[Jared Goldstein]

You got it. You got it.

[Monét X Change]

But anyway, so Jacob was like, oh, Michaela J. Rodriguez is here. And I was like. I was, like, looking around, trying to find her. I couldn't see her. She was sitting back. And then I looked to my left and just walking toward me like a vision. It was like time slowed down. There was a light shining behind her. I think she was floating off the ground. And I. Who I don't get.

[Jared Goldstein]

Say it.

[Monét X Change]

I don't get starstruck too often, but this time I was like, my heart.

[Jared Goldstein]

Is racing you to say it.

[Monét X Change]

Cheryl Lee Ralph.

[Jared Goldstein]

I was about to say Celine Dion. Okay.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, Celine Dion would have also.

[Jared Goldstein]

Gave me this to be Celine Dion.

[Monét X Change]

I would have also been very starstruck if Celine Dion walks Cheryl Lee Ralph. And I'm telling you right now, she looks as good in person as you. As she does on tv. Better.

[Jared Goldstein]

Well, I just want to say, I just, you know, humble tag or whatever. I was in Abbott elementary last season, and I got a role with her. I got to play a cosmetologist, and I had a scene. And she is beauty Grace. She is acting all the way down from, like, the hair to her toes.

[Monét X Change]

Very dignified.

[Jared Goldstein]

She very dignified.

[Monét X Change]

I could never be that dignified.

[Jared Goldstein]

Very dignified. Like, you don't want to slip up. You are never being like, hey, bitch. You're never saying, hey, bitch.

[Monét X Change]

Hey, bitch. The Cheryl Lee Ralph is crazy.

[Jared Goldstein]

Just saying.

[Monét X Change]

Imagine Shirley Rowe.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm just saying you would never. Because why?

[Monét X Change]

Have you seen Tiffany Parlor interview Shirley Rowe?

[Jared Goldstein]

No.

[Monét X Change]

On Breakfast with Tiffany?

[Jared Goldstein]

No.

[Monét X Change]

And it is. It is.

[Jared Goldstein]

Wait.

[Monét X Change]

It's so unhinged.

[Jared Goldstein]

That is iconic.

[Monét X Change]

It's so unhinged.

[Jared Goldstein]

I just want to see the faces. Cheryl's faces. I want to see.

[Monét X Change]

Cheryl is still able to maintain so much dignity and poise, even in the hands of Tiffany New York Pollard.

[Jared Goldstein]

Can you give me some snippets? Like what was said? What was said?

[Monét X Change]

She talking about eating pussy.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, and with Ms. Ralph. Yeah, that's clowning out, Shirley.

[Monét X Change]

Ralph was like, my goodness, Tiffany. I. I can't remember. It was. It was wild. You know how Tiffany be.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

Have you ever met New York?

[Jared Goldstein]

No. I would love to. You know her.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, I know her, but. But just from like, not like personally. I've just seen her at events and we know who each other are.

[Jared Goldstein]

Does she follow you?

[Monét X Change]

I think I. I don't know if she follows me. She does. Yeah. Yeah, she follows me. Yeah.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

But I mean, she's. She. She was kind of really entrenched in the Drag Race world for a short while, and then I met her at the Season 8 premiere of RuPaul's Drag. Of. Of RuPaul Drag Race in New York City. And then I did her. I did Breakfast with Tiffany, too.

[Jared Goldstein]

No way. Bob, what is it that you haven't done?

[Monét X Change]

Well, I haven't been on Broadway, but I'm working on it. I'm trying.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's maybe because you're so busy that they just don't. They think that you're not available.

[Monét X Change]

You know what I should do? Hold on. You know, I should do.

[Sydney Washington]

Hold on.

[Monét X Change]

Holiday, because I. I'm trying to be better at.

[Jared Goldstein]

Let me see.

[Monét X Change]

Trying to be better at self promoting.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is what we really need to talk about.

[Monét X Change]

Going to leave that there. We talk about some of. They've heard about us. I want to make sure they know.

[Jared Goldstein]

It needs to be. It needs to be in a frame. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

This is my book, Harriet Tubman Live in Concert, which is available for pre sale right now. It comes out in March. And you all can get a copy of it if you go to readthedrag.

[Jared Goldstein]

Queen.Com just in enough time. If you don't know how to read, this is a good time to learn. There's audiobook, there's an Audi.

[Monét X Change]

So even if you can't read, baby, you don't got to read. I'll read it for you. I will do all the heavy lifting for you do not have to work hard over here when you with Bob the Drag Queen Mama, I will read for you, baby. Okay.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm getting into numbers though, but like, is it better if people buy the books or they get the audiobook?

[Monét X Change]

I'm actually not sure.

[Jared Goldstein]

I think you need them to buy the book.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, buying a tangible book, you.

[Jared Goldstein]

Have to buy the Book for New York Times. Bestseller.

[Monét X Change]

No, no. Audiobooks do count for bestsellers. They do? Yes. So do. Yeah, they do. I already checked. And so do if you buy it on Kindle. So if you buy a digital version, it also counts as well.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay, you heard that?

[Monét X Change]

It all goes.

[Jared Goldstein]

Get it ready. Get them audiobooks ready.

[Monét X Change]

But you want a hard copy. You want a hard copy.

[Jared Goldstein]

So I want to. I want to put it on the little library that I don't have right now, but I'm. I'm putting out there. Manifesting.

[Monét X Change]

But back to the show in Phoenix. It was just. It was a really sickening and amazing show. I had, like. I just had so much fun. The love was real. And then we all played Anomia.

[Jared Goldstein]

I was missing in action.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, you.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

You didn't play.

[Jared Goldstein]

So what's this game? Can you please explain to me?

[Monét X Change]

Okay, so Anomia is a game where you have these cards, right? And then it has a category on, like, Quentin Tarantino movie.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

And then someone else flips a card, and their card says, oh, let's play around, actually. Oh, my God. Let's play around with Anomia.

[Jared Goldstein]

What?

[Monét X Change]

Thank you, Kennedy. And then you.

[Jared Goldstein]

Did you get these on discount?

[Monét X Change]

No, these.

[Jared Goldstein]

Because you promoting this as well.

[Monét X Change]

I think Jacob paid for these. Did you pay for these, Jacob? I didn't buy this. Did we steal this from Monae? We mopped it from Mona.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

By the way, if you go to Monet's house, you can just leave us stuff. She's honestly cool with it. We left with a Roomba.

[Jared Goldstein]

I feel like Monet has two of everything.

[Monét X Change]

It feels like Monet's actually weird about having. One time I showed up to Monet's house with two packs of Domino. Monet was like, we're gonna play Domino's with my mom. I said, okay, let's play Domino's. I bought Camion and I bought Jacob, and we went and played Domino's. And Monet was like, well, why did you bring two packs? And I was like, oh, I don't know. I just grabbed two. And she was weird, but she was like. I was like, I'll leave the demo. She goes, don't leave them both here.

[Jared Goldstein]

So she's a minimalist.

[Monét X Change]

Monet. Monet will throw in. Monet does not give a. She doesn't have sentimental attachments to physical possession. She would just throw things away, give them away for dirt. She was. She sold almost all of her costumes for Drag Race.

[Jared Goldstein]

What?

[Monét X Change]

I had to beg her to not sell them as I was Trying to go in and buy them as she was selling, because she was selling them so cheap. And I was like, girl, you're gonna be mad that you sold these things.

[Jared Goldstein]

As a hoarder, I could never.

[Monét X Change]

I'm not quite a hoarder, but I do have a sentimental attachment to. I'm not a hoarder. Okay, to be clear, I've had hoarders in my family. I am not a hoarder.

[Jared Goldstein]

The thing is, is that.

[Monét X Change]

But I. But I do keep, like, my costumes and stuff. I will throw away if it's, like. If it's. When it comes to costumes. The thing about the costumes is this. They are handmade. Someone spent hours, hours making these costumes by hand. And I just feel weird just throwing them away and getting rid of them.

[Jared Goldstein]

I wouldn't. Obviously you wouldn't throw them away, but if you are going to, Monet would. Well, we have to. What's wrong with her?

[Monét X Change]

She just don't care. She just. She just. She will throw things away. She has thrown things away, and she would give. And she'll give them away. Okay, I will give away garments if I. But if I give an outfit away and you don't use it, that'll piss me off.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay. But that's weird, though. It is weird, because sometimes I feel like these outfits that you guys have, like, you can't just wear them. Where are we going to?

[Monét X Change]

We're giving them to drag queens.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

I'm not giving them to my cousin.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay. But maybe it's an heirloom. Maybe, like, you know, it's. It. You know, we.

[Monét X Change]

I think to myself, I don't know what I'm gonna do with all my costumes because no one in my family is really interested in drag like that. Like, my niece is. She's tall, but she's not my size.

[Jared Goldstein]

So you want her to use it because why can't the whole thing about.

[Monét X Change]

Or just have it.

[Jared Goldstein]

Extending the legacy or whatever. It's not about using. It's about having. We could have, like, a little shrine.

[Monét X Change]

I want her to care about it. Oh, And I don't think she cares, which is valid.

[Jared Goldstein]

She'll dust it off. Like, you know, if I had a.

[Monét X Change]

Famous uncle who played basketball, I wouldn't. I would keep the basketball. Like, this is cool. But I would not be, like. I would put. I would put it in the attic. I wouldn't. I would not display a basketball of my uncle who was. Who played, you know, basketball in a local league. Right. Anomia. Yes. You flip the card over and Whatever the category is, whoever says it first, you get the points.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay?

[Monét X Change]

So we're going to try one.

[Jared Goldstein]

All right.

[Monét X Change]

So whatever the category is, I don't play games.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm grown.

[Monét X Change]

I don't play games.

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't play games. And I'm going to do it for you.

[Monét X Change]

Here we go.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

Coldest winner ever.

[Jared Goldstein]

Erotic.

[Monét X Change]

Coldest winner.

[Jared Goldstein]

Erotic novel.

[Monét X Change]

Have you ever read Coldest Winter?

[Jared Goldstein]

I did.

[Monét X Change]

Jacob, can you. Can you bring up the first. The very first lyrics to Coldest Winter? I I'll bring. You don't have to mic. In fact, I'll tell. I want to read you all the. The first line.

[Jared Goldstein]

I felt like it was a cautionary tale.

[Monét X Change]

We'll see after this break.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Adore Delano]

You know when you get cornered by the one auntie at family gatherings? The one who asks questions you'd rather not answer? Like you get married or well, you.

[Monét X Change]

Still living at home, only be met.

[Adore Delano]

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[Monét X Change]

All right. And we're back. So I came busting out of my mama's big coochie on January 28, 1977, during one of New York's worst snowstorms. So my mother named me Winter.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's not erotic. That's just. She's descriptive. She knows how to write. My mama, she's setting the scene.

[Monét X Change]

But you haven't read Cold Spin.

[Jared Goldstein]

I have. Yes. There's sexual.

[Monét X Change]

It's quite erotic, though.

[Jared Goldstein]

Every time I would read, I would be like, this poor woman.

[Monét X Change]

To be fair, I have not read Coldest Winter ever in years.

[Jared Goldstein]

How old was she? She had to be, like, 16. The girl called Winter. How old was she in the. In the book?

[Monét X Change]

Well, I don't know. She was born in 19. I don't know what year it set in, but she was born in 1977.

[Jared Goldstein]

She was a young girl. Talking about all these sex.

[Monét X Change]

There was so much sex in the book, though. I felt.

[Jared Goldstein]

I felt secular.

[Monét X Change]

But at the time, because I was a child.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, okay.

[Monét X Change]

I was like, it is what it is. I am also a kid. So when you're watching Saved by the Bell and you're watching teenage. Or when you're watching, I imagine, as a teenager watching. What's the show with Zendaya?

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, euphoria.

[Monét X Change]

Euphoria.

[Jared Goldstein]

Obsessed.

[Monét X Change]

I imagine when you're a teenager, you're like, oh, yeah, they're just teenagers fucking. But I'm like, these are children fucking. Even though I know they're adults.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, no, no. I know they're adults. And that's why we'll always lock in. It's like, oh, they're actually 20 something. They should be doing this.

[Monét X Change]

But anyway, I don't know the line I came busting out my mom's big coochie is madness.

[Jared Goldstein]

Does that get you damp? Like, I would just be like, that's my girl talking about her mama's big coochie. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

Calling your mama's vagina a big coochie.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's a flex. My mama got a big ass coochie.

[Monét X Change]

I slipped out my mama's coochie. I ran out that mug. Sha'carri sha'carri Richardson. Is she still the fastest person in the world?

[Jared Goldstein]

I thought, it's not Usain. It's not Usain Bolt.

[Monét X Change]

Well, he's not the fastest right now. He was.

[Jared Goldstein]

He was. That's.

[Monét X Change]

I could smoke Usain Bolt right now. Right now. Is he alive?

[Jared Goldstein]

He is alive. There's actually TikTok videos of him, like, dancing, like, all these white kids, like, around Google.

[Monét X Change]

How old are saying, I. I feel like I could beat Usain Bolt in the foot race right now.

[Jared Goldstein]

Well, the way your body is given right now, I think you can.

[Monét X Change]

But I also. I have bad knees and the knees aren't getting better. And I am actually a legendarily slow runner.

[Jared Goldstein]

You are.

[Monét X Change]

But Usain Bolt's got to be almost 70.

[Jared Goldstein]

It must be the vape.

[Sydney Washington]

What?

[Monét X Change]

He has to be almost 70.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, vaping doesn't hurt your knees about breathing.

[Monét X Change]

My cardio is pretty chill. No, he's got to be 70 is usable, like 50, 60 something.

[Sydney Washington]

He is 38.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, no, he's living bad then Usain bolts. There's no way he's 38. No, he's not. He's just.

[Monét X Change]

Wait, I'm thinking about who was the other fast guy?

[Jared Goldstein]

That's.

[Monét X Change]

That's the one that I. Usain boat is 38.

[Jared Goldstein]

Let me see. That's.

[Sydney Washington]

So could you still beat him?

[Monét X Change]

No. Usain Bolt's gonna kick my ass.

[Jared Goldstein]

But he doesn't look like that right now. He doesn't look like that.

[Monét X Change]

When was he?

[Jared Goldstein]

Look at a recent picture of him.

[Monét X Change]

When did he hold the record for world's fastest man?

[Jared Goldstein]

So long ago.

[Monét X Change]

Why did I think it was the seventies?

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm so dated. I'm dated.

[Monét X Change]

I thought it was the 70s or something.

[Jared Goldstein]

Is that like about, like 10 years ago?

[Monét X Change]

That's crazy.

[Jared Goldstein]

I hate being the age that I am. I know.

[Monét X Change]

Samuel, I would like to apologize to you right now. You should. I wanted to make it clear that you could definitely beat me in a foot race. We are literally the same age. I am a little bit Younger than you. You are stronger than me, you are bolder than me, and you are an actual world class athlete, and I'm just some comedian.

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't know when the last time he ran, though. So you pro. You could. You might. Could.

[Monét X Change]

Can you run fast?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, no, I did sprint when I, like, I used to be a sprinter in middle school, but that was it. That was.

[Monét X Change]

Are you, like, naturally fit?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I'm not fit at all. I. I'm slender. I have like a. Yes. I could go into Zara and like, I'm getting a four. But. But no, I'm. I walk upstairs and I'm like, I don't. I eat poorly.

[Monét X Change]

Do you remember the store 246?

[Jared Goldstein]

No.

[Monét X Change]

246 was a store where you go in and they only sell the sizes 2, 4, and 6.

[Jared Goldstein]

That is fat phobic. It is hateful.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, no, for sure. It's also fat phobic that the plus size clothes are always at the back. Like, you don't want. You don't want big shopping in the front.

[Jared Goldstein]

No. And they're never really on the mannequin either. It's just kind of like draped over it.

[Monét X Change]

You know, it's really. I don't. I don't know what this. This is a combination of. I don't know. It's a combination of a lot of phobics. But I. You know Violet Chachki, she won season seven of RuPaul's Drag Race.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I don't know.

[Monét X Change]

So Violet choski won season seven, RuPaul's drag. Is her, her.

[Jared Goldstein]

Her.

[Monét X Change]

One of her big things that she's a burlesque performer and something she's known for is having a very, very small waist.

[Jared Goldstein]

Her.

[Monét X Change]

Her waist to hip to shoulder ratio is insane. She has a teeny, tiny waist. I believe that her record, she was cinching down to like 21 or 22 inches.

[Jared Goldstein]

How old is she?

[Monét X Change]

She's maybe 33. 34.

[Jared Goldstein]

33. To have that.

[Monét X Change]

This was in her 20s. Okay.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

I don't know where she's at now. She might be back. She's looking slim these days. I don't know. So, Violet Choski, the dress that she won RuPaul's Drag Race in on TV, it was put at the Max Factory Museum right here in Hollywood, California. And then I won the next season of RuPaul's Drag Race, and then my dress was put next to hers. Her dress was on a woman mannequin. My dress was on a motherfucking man.

[Jared Goldstein]

Who do we Sue.

[Monét X Change]

I want to know who we sue.

[Jared Goldstein]

We have to sue.

[Monét X Change]

They put my dress on a man. Now, granted, it was. My mannequin would be on a plus size man. Like a bigger. It wouldn't be on a sample size, but a man.

[Jared Goldstein]

A man.

[Monét X Change]

A man.

[Jared Goldstein]

A man. Why a man shoulders.

[Monét X Change]

I was pissed. And I went to go look, and I was like, she had this, like, cunt fierce mannequin. And mine was like, they grabbed it from Ross.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, not Ross.

[Monét X Change]

The headless.

[Jared Goldstein]

Not the Ross.

[Monét X Change]

White plastic mannequin.

[Jared Goldstein]

So you don't get any. Don't get any type of curve.

[Monét X Change]

And then I have a dress at the Rock and Roll hall of Fame right now.

[Jared Goldstein]

Tell me everything.

[Monét X Change]

And that one is on a woman's mannequin.

[Jared Goldstein]

And that's what you deserve.

[Monét X Change]

Thank you. Rock and roll. How. How old is Violet? 32. 32? Yes. She's 32. So I'm. I'm very grateful that they have my dress on a feminine visage.

[Jared Goldstein]

I mean, when you. When you saw that it was a man, what was your. Did you write? So I write. So they were like, did you get on your zoom?

[Monét X Change]

So I was with the. The people that were like, oh, my God, you here. You come on us. Yeah, we'd love to show you. Was at the very top floor. And I was like. I was excited. Was going around. They have like this. They. They have the actual sale from Hannibal Lecter in the basement. Like the. The bars. They rebuilt the whole cell with pieces from the set. They had. I think they have a pair of Dorothy's red, ruby red slippers there. Like one of the only six pair in the world, I think.

[Jared Goldstein]

Love that.

[Monét X Change]

Or at least they were on loan for a second or something. So I'm looking at all this cool stuff. Then I finally get to the top, and I'm going to see the outfit. I see Violet's first. I cut the corner. I see mine. And I. And the guy was like, all right, here it is. And I was like, oh. Oh.

[Jared Goldstein]

I kind of feel like it's like when everybody goes to see. What is it? Madame Tucson. Yeah. Yeah. Whenever they go there and they're like, this is the unveiling. And you're like, yeah. And they're like that. Like, they did Beyonce dirty. They did Rihanna dirty. They've done so many people.

[Monét X Change]

They had to change Nicki Minaj's.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, I didn't. I don't remember Nikki's.

[Monét X Change]

So Nikki's was from Anaconda and it was her squatting down.

[Jared Goldstein]

No.

[Monét X Change]

With the sweatpants and a thong coming over the ass. And everyone kept getting. You know, you can. You can get. They allow you to get to some of them. You can get really close to them. You can, like, touch them. Some of them. And everyone was giving back shots to Nikki.

[Jared Goldstein]

Being inappropriate.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, everyone was giving Nikki backshots. Everyone.

[Jared Goldstein]

Now, when they were deciding man, woman and child, this is the one. You know, of all the iconic. Mickey.

[Monét X Change]

I think at the time, Anaconda was a huge deal.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

Anaconda was low key. The wap of his time.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was truly one of those things that you're like, if it comes on, it might be. What's the song?

[Monét X Change]

Which one? Give me any clue.

[Jared Goldstein]

Juvenile. Back that ass up.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was the lady's name.

[Monét X Change]

My mama wants you back. Girl, who's you playing with? Anaconda was after you. Back it up then. Stop.

[Jared Goldstein]

Now drop. My leg is hot.

[Monét X Change]

That was when we introduced to Lil Wayne, wasn't it?

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. Hot boys.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

He was so young.

[Jared Goldstein]

He was really cute. I was a. I was attracted to him. I won't lie.

[Monét X Change]

That's valid.

[Jared Goldstein]

Why? Why is it valid?

[Monét X Change]

It's valid. He was hot.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna say at that time, Lil Wayne was lesbian coded. He did have long hair. He did give colonel But.

[Monét X Change]

But Lil Wayne was. Everyone was like, like, all the girls are like, really into Lil Wayne. He was like. He was like a huge deal. Girls were like, obsessed.

[Jared Goldstein]

And looking back at it, Juvenile was hot. We didn't like grills at the time. We didn't like girls at the time. Sexy.

[Monét X Change]

Juvenile.

[Jared Goldstein]

Juvenile. Young.

[Monét X Change]

Juvenile.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, baby. I didn't do it right, baby.

[Monét X Change]

Baby, he's from New Orleans. Right? Y, baby. Juvenile.

[Jared Goldstein]

Get into it. You're gonna have to. You're gonna have to search. You're gonna have to. Really? Because you know, they always have. Yes, Daddy. Daddy. Yeah, it's. Maybe the camouflage was taken away from how sexy he was, but he was fine.

[Monét X Change]

No, Juvenile. Yeah, Juvenile's kind of cute. Low key.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, he gonna put you over that. That kitchen counter wasn't Juvenile, like, didn't.

[Monét X Change]

Have, like a show. He was like. He has, like, nice. Like, he's like a dad and he's like raising his kids or something. Or did I imagine that?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, that's might be Master P. Master P. Another one who was also kind of sad.

[Monét X Change]

That's.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's kind of sexy. I think he needed. What do you mean? Master P. Master P. Make him say, lick him up. Lick him up.

[Monét X Change]

What does the P stand for? I I would say Percival.

[Jared Goldstein]

I would say power. Master Power.

[Monét X Change]

Master P. Peral.

[Jared Goldstein]

Master P. Maybe Percy. Is it Percy?

[Monét X Change]

His real name? Percy.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's Percy.

[Monét X Change]

Percy.

[Jared Goldstein]

Look at that.

[Monét X Change]

Percy Robert Miller Senior.

[Jared Goldstein]

I didn't have a drive. Now look into the. Now look into. Look into the photos.

[Monét X Change]

Look into the photos, Master P. Let.

[Jared Goldstein]

Me look into the photos and see young Master P. You had to get into it. You're saying, no, not attractive.

[Monét X Change]

No, I'm not gonna give. This picture. This picture's kind of hot.

[Jared Goldstein]

Anti black.

[Sydney Washington]

No.

[Jared Goldstein]

This picture that's anti black. That you're saying is not attractive.

[Monét X Change]

No.

[Jared Goldstein]

No.

[Monét X Change]

This man.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes.

[Monét X Change]

The good Reverend masterpiece. Yes.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, when he would wear a suit. Amen.

[Monét X Change]

This is Steve Harvey.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, now, you wrong for that.

[Monét X Change]

This is Steve Harvey. Cody.

[Jared Goldstein]

Absolutely not.

[Monét X Change]

This was Steve Harvey coding.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, this was him cleaning up. This was him. You know, he beat a court case. He coming out. He taking his mama out for Easter Sunday.

[Monét X Change]

I gotta send this to the chat so we can put it on the screen. Cause Master P, in his.

[Jared Goldstein]

Master P, not a sex symbol, but he was attractive.

[Monét X Change]

No, I won't take away.

[Jared Goldstein]

He was attractive. And if you really just stare at him a little bit long, you'd be.

[Monét X Change]

Like, oh, wait, I won't take away.

[Jared Goldstein]

Can he get it?

[Monét X Change]

I won't take away his beauty.

[Jared Goldstein]

Please don't.

[Monét X Change]

We're all beautiful now.

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't like when people do that, because. Don't lump us all in. We're not all. We're not all beautiful. Our souls. Our souls are beautiful.

[Sydney Washington]

Have you seen who people chose for the Sexiest man of 2024? They just released Benny Blanco.

[Monét X Change]

Benny Blanco. Let me see. Let me see if this man's hot.

[Jared Goldstein]

Let me see.

[Monét X Change]

Let me see.

[Sydney Washington]

They just announced this, like, a day or two ago.

[Monét X Change]

Benny Blanco already.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm weird about the name. Benny Blanco.

[Monét X Change]

Benny Blanco. I was smash. Anti black.

[Jared Goldstein]

It feels like. It feels.

[Sydney Washington]

This man is Jewish, and I was.

[Jared Goldstein]

Gonna say it's giving. Latino Dave. You know that? You know. You know the show Dave?

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. He looks like a Little Dicky Show.

[Jared Goldstein]

Little Dicky Show. Yeah, it's Latino. Lil Dicky. That's what it's giving.

[Monét X Change]

He looks like Andre the Giant.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's. They said this is the sexiest. Oh, yo, they be playing all day. They want everybody to drag the sexiest man alive.

[Monét X Change]

That's what it looks like under the giant.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I don't see that, but it's very.

[Monét X Change]

That might be anti Semitic. I'm gonna stop while I'm behind. I'm gonna Stop while I'm behind at this point. Cause I don't know that man looks anything like Andre the Giant at all.

[Jared Goldstein]

I think that they need to take this down. Every time, every year they do this and then people dog pile on like how dare.

[Monét X Change]

Can you see who've been a couple other sexiest man in the world?

[Jared Goldstein]

Was it John Legend?

[Monét X Change]

John Legend is sexy. What. What's wrong with John Legend?

[Jared Goldstein]

He looks like a sweet cousin. Like, like, you know, like. I, I don't, I don't see him as sexy. I. I feel like he's talented. He's.

[Monét X Change]

He's so sexy. Let me be clear. I want to be. I just want to be clear about.

[Jared Goldstein]

When they did the Arthur mean with the, with the hand. And then you pan up, you're like, I see it. I feel that energy.

[Monét X Change]

I just want to be clear.

[Jared Goldstein]

And now I can't unsee it.

[Monét X Change]

John Legend.

[Jared Goldstein]

John Legend.

[Monét X Change]

Master P. Hot.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

2020.

[Monét X Change]

I feel now. I don't like when you tell me I'm. You think I'm. I'm looking. You said I can't see. I don't trust it no more.

[Jared Goldstein]

Why you don't trust it?

[Monét X Change]

I don't trust the vision.

[Jared Goldstein]

I have a good eye.

[Monét X Change]

But you told me I was hot.

[Jared Goldstein]

You are hot.

[Monét X Change]

He said John Legend wasn't.

[Jared Goldstein]

You're sexy.

[Monét X Change]

But Master P was.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, no, no, no. See what it is is that you are trained to believe that somebody like John Legend behind a piano. Hot.

[Monét X Change]

What's the difference between Master P and John Legend? Visually, John Legend, they both light skinned did it.

[Jared Goldstein]

First of all, John Legend. If you're watching height, height for me, he's going to be.

[Monét X Change]

You don't like shorties?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I want to. I think tall is hot.

[Monét X Change]

I like a short guy. I like a tall guy too though. Well, I have a pretty white palate, to be honest.

[Jared Goldstein]

Is that so?

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, I have a pretty white palette.

[Jared Goldstein]

I. Maybe because.

[Monét X Change]

Maybe because he is five, nine. Yeah, that's too short.

[Jared Goldstein]

How I want like six, two.

[Monét X Change]

Let's talk about height. Let's talk about height.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay, let's do it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit. 2024 has seen a massive surge in high profile data breaches. Almost too many to keep track of. And most alarming of all, this past summer, national public data reported a breach potentially affecting Every single American. 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for free. If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is. You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now. But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive news. This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura, who monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. And even better than that, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, making sure you have a safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online. They have a VPN for secure browsing, they even have a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. I've already started all my holiday shopping for my friends and family and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free when you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones once more. That's a U R a dot com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details.

[Adore Delano]

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[Monét X Change]

I'm Louie, AKA the baddest Pera.

[Jared Goldstein]

And I'm Yoatsi.

[Monét X Change]

And we're Sibley. We might not be the most intelligent.

[Jared Goldstein]

Or the smartest or inteligentes. You just said that.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, yeah.

[Jared Goldstein]

But at least we're pretty.

[Monét X Change]

You may have seen our viral challenge videos, Mexican food, mukbangs, and family vlogs, but did you know we're also the hosts of the podcast Pretty Not Smart?

[Jared Goldstein]

On our show, we expose all the chisme in our lives, from our wildest dating stories to childhood feud to our scary ghost stories.

[Monét X Change]

But don't worry, it's not all drama. All the time, we discuss financial hardship, the importance of taking care of your mental health, and our experiences dealing with complicated family relationships.

[Jared Goldstein]

Because we're siblings, we know each other better than anyone, which means we also know how to beef with each other like it's nobody's business.

[Monét X Change]

Who doesn't love listening in on a little sibling conflict?

[Jared Goldstein]

We've also had some amazing guests join the show, like YouTubers Adam Ray and Laura Mellado and so many more.

[Monét X Change]

At the end of the day, I'm happy to be the pretty one and Yoatzi the smart one.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, it's definitely the other way around.

[Monét X Change]

And who told you that lie?

[Jared Goldstein]

Ask the audience.

[Monét X Change]

So if you want to hear the juicy perspectives of two pretty siblings, tune.

[Jared Goldstein]

Into Pretty Not Smart, available wherever you get your podcasts.

[Monét X Change]

Okay, so how. So if, if, if word gets back that master P is 5 9. Is he. Is he still hot?

[Jared Goldstein]

He's not 5 9. There's no way he could be.

[Monét X Change]

He was saying next to Lil Wayne, $20. We have no clue how tall he was.

[Jared Goldstein]

He can't be 5 9.

[Sydney Washington]

He is 6 4.

[Monét X Change]

Jesus.

[Jared Goldstein]

Exactly. Daddy. I knew he was a daddy. I knew it. Daddy long legs. He gives six four is crazy. He wants to take care of the community, his family. He's a good man.

[Monét X Change]

He's a good man, Savannah.

[Jared Goldstein]

Which is which they need to fix. They've made that sound viral. It was a gag. It was like, he's a good man, Savannah. But he's not a good man.

[Monét X Change]

He's not a good man.

[Jared Goldstein]

He's not a good man.

[Monét X Change]

But the line is so great. He's a good man, Savannah.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's like, mom, you don't know shit.

[Monét X Change]

Good man. I mean, can I give you a random bit of information?

[Jared Goldstein]

You have all of the Snapple facts? Yes.

[Monét X Change]

Do you know how tall Barron Trump is? This is Trump's youngest son. He's 18 years old. Do you have any idea how tall Barron Trump is?

[Jared Goldstein]

Is he Master P?

[Monét X Change]

I don't know. What do you think? Do you know what Baron Trump looks like? No, he's the youngest one.

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't look at the Trump sometimes.

[Monét X Change]

He's the first son.

[Jared Goldstein]

I apologize. I have. I don't see Trump.

[Monét X Change]

You know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not a Trump fan, but I do find this one bit of information insanely interesting. Okay, I'm gonna show you a picture of Barron Trump, and then you have to tell me how tall you think this man. I got a picture. Picture him by himself. This is Baron Trump. He's 18 years old. He goes, nyu.

[Jared Goldstein]

The ears. The ears are long. So usually when you have the ears, I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say he's six, three, six foot, nine.

[Monét X Change]

Baron Trump is six foot nine.

[Jared Goldstein]

And why are you giving us this information?

[Monét X Change]

It's just interesting.

[Jared Goldstein]

You. No, no, no, it's not. Because then the girlies, they're gagged, and they're like, six, nine.

[Monét X Change]

I believe that people like height. And then there's a point, in my humble opinion, after 6, 4, and maybe 6, 5, it stops being hot. 6, 9 is not high. You're a monster. You are an ogre stomping about the land like, six, two. I believe that for the general consensus.

[Jared Goldstein]

I can't believe you said that. Now, how tall are you with them shoes?

[Monét X Change]

These are probably six inches.

[Jared Goldstein]

So I'm six, eight, and you said a monster. You don't give monster, monsters, ogre stomping around the land that. So you're reading yourself. Is that what you're. Is that what you're getting?

[Monét X Change]

I'm reading myself down.

[Jared Goldstein]

You're projecting.

[Monét X Change]

I feel like when. When men are considered hot for their height, it starts at 6ft, and it really kicks in at 6, 2, and then around 6, 6. It's like you are a giant person.

[Jared Goldstein]

And people like that. People want to be topped.

[Monét X Change]

And I feel like women for being tall for a woman, it kicks in at 5, 10, and then around 6ft. You're a 6ft. You are. You are, like, very tall. You know how tall Malia Obama is?

[Jared Goldstein]

No. How tall?

[Monét X Change]

Six foot one.

[Jared Goldstein]

What you into, girl? What you into? What you like?

[Monét X Change]

Malia Obama. That's hot.

[Jared Goldstein]

That is hot.

[Monét X Change]

I'm not. I'm not. I mean, she's a grown woman.

[Jared Goldstein]

How old is she?

[Monét X Change]

She's grown. She grown. She's like 20 something.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay. What you like, girl, she's probably 24.

[Monét X Change]

20.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's amazing.

[Sydney Washington]

26.

[Monét X Change]

26.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

She grown.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, thank you.

[Monét X Change]

I'm gonna say she grown.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm just. I'm. Yeah, but.

[Monét X Change]

But yeah, six. And she's the same as Barack Obama. They're both six one.

[Jared Goldstein]

Now, I've never seen. I've never even thought about his height. I just see him as a. Like, it's hard to explain, but I've never seen him as short or tall. I just said him existing.

[Monét X Change]

Barack Obama's tall. He's next to Michelle, who's 5 11. Michelle's that tall or 510 or 5 11. I can't I remember which one it is. Yeah. That's why I think Michelle Obama the same height as. I think Michelle Obama might be taller than Megan. Thee stallion.

[Jared Goldstein]

And Megan is tall.

[Sydney Washington]

Megan is 510. Michelle Obama is 5 11. And Barack is 6 2, 6, 2.

[Jared Goldstein]

And nobody looks like they could play basketball.

[Monét X Change]

No, Brock can't play basketball. There's footage of Brock playing basketball.

[Jared Goldstein]

Really?

[Monét X Change]

Yes. And then he famously was going on.

[Jared Goldstein]

I guess I took that out.

[Monét X Change]

And he was famously online because people were like, one. Some guy was like, no, you only scored those shots because no one. No one guards you. No one guards you because you're the president.

[Jared Goldstein]

I think I have seen.

[Monét X Change]

And then he was like, no, I have been guarding. He actually got a black eye one time and had to go to a press conference with a black eye because he was playing basketball before the press conference.

[Jared Goldstein]

He's the man of the people.

[Monét X Change]

A man of the people.

[Jared Goldstein]

Relatable.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. The. The Obamas don't look tall because they're all tall. So Jacob. Jacob's family is all short. Jacob is. Jacob's the tallest person in his family.

[Jared Goldstein]

And how tall are you, Jacob?

[Sydney Washington]

I'm 56.

[Jared Goldstein]

56?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Jared Goldstein]

When I hugged you, I didn't feel five six.

[Monét X Change]

What did you feel?

[Jared Goldstein]

I felt tall. Felt taller.

[Monét X Change]

Jacob gives taller.

[Sydney Washington]

How tall are you?

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm 54.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, I mean, Jacob's a little taller. People.

[Jared Goldstein]

People never, like, guess that I'm 54. They think you're taller. Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

You're taller than J. So when you see Jacob with his whole family, it looks like a bunch of average height people with a really tall son. But the truth is, some of them are almost five feet. Feet. Maybe below five feet.

[Sydney Washington]

My sister is 411.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Yeah. So Jacob looks like a tall person. But the truth is, Jacob is.

[Jared Goldstein]

And I would just stay around all people that are that tall, that short, because I Have some shorties.

[Monét X Change]

I have some shorties in my life. Rob is pretty short. Rob is maybe 5, 6, 5, 7.

[Jared Goldstein]

He is, but he gives, like, tall energy as well.

[Monét X Change]

Kennedy's five, three.

[Sydney Washington]

Layla.

[Monét X Change]

Layla. McQueen is five, four, five, five.

[Jared Goldstein]

How tall is Monet?

[Monét X Change]

Monet's five. Ten.

[Jared Goldstein]

Five. Ten.

[Monét X Change]

And three quarters.

[Jared Goldstein]

No way.

[Monét X Change]

She'll never let you forget those three quarters.

[Jared Goldstein]

I guess. I don't know height that well. I knew Master P was really tall. I knew that. Like, damn, do I have a crush on Master P. Because I just.

[Monét X Change]

You might. Master P, I want you to know that I'm not. I'm not dogging. I'm not. I'm not dogging his ass. Master P, you're. You're a beautiful man.

[Jared Goldstein]

Don't do that.

[Monét X Change]

Just not my cup of tea.

[Jared Goldstein]

We don't like talent show energy.

[Monét X Change]

To be fair, I don't think Master P is interested in my attraction.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay? He's not. For sure not.

[Monét X Change]

He's much more interested in your attraction than he is interested in my attraction. So I don't think Master P cares that I'm not into him. Call me now. I think John Legend might be a little interested in my.

[Jared Goldstein]

You are messy boots, you know that? You know that much? Here. Here's the. You see the Arthur Arm fist right now, what time?

[Monét X Change]

One time, Jacob did the Arthur arm fist in real life, and he doesn't like the story. So I told you much. But one time, Jake was. Was upset because this. This food order, we were at this restaurant, it was going crazy.

[Sydney Washington]

Let me first preface saying we were.

[Monét X Change]

It was all my fault. I. It was my idea, and I'm the reason why that is true. I'm the reason why I wanted to get food.

[Sydney Washington]

And I said, we should do Uber Eats. And he's like, oh, yeah, that's fair. And why don't we. But we're already out, so why don't we just stop by the restaurant, pick it up, instead of having it delivered to our house? And I said, I think it would just be easier if we got it delivered to our house.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And he was like, no, no, we should stop by the restaurant.

[Monét X Change]

It'll be warmer. In my mind, it'll be warmer.

[Sydney Washington]

So I was like, that's fine. We'll stop by the restaurant.

[Monét X Change]

And then. So we stop by the restaurant, and Jake was out of the car for, like, 15, 20 minutes. I was like, what is taking so long? Let me go see what's going on. I came around the corner, baby. Jacob had their Little Arthur fist. Well, Arthur Fist.

[Sydney Washington]

So they make you get in line to get to the place to see if your food is ready.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And I waited in line for 10 minutes, and then they were like, oh, no, your food's not going to be ready for another, like, 10 minutes. When I got to the front of the line after waiting 20, like, for already for 15 minutes.

[Monét X Change]

And to be fair, it was annoying. And to be fair that that restaurant is. While someone got shot there, I would have canceled.

[Jared Goldstein]

Canceled, Canceled.

[Monét X Change]

Someone got murdered at that, at that, at that restaurant maybe two years ago.

[Jared Goldstein]

So, you know, the food is good. They killing people for some ribs right now.

[Monét X Change]

So to be. To be fair, it is. It is a volatile restaurant. And, and, and also Jacob and a bunch of Uber Eats drivers.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm not done yet.

[Monét X Change]

What else happened?

[Sydney Washington]

So then I waited the 10 minutes and I tried going back in and I was like, oh, they said my food was ready. And the bouncer is like, oh, no, you gotta wait in the line again.

[Monét X Change]

There's a bouncer at the restaurant that's.

[Jared Goldstein]

You know, you know that chicken is crisp.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, fried hard. They don't sell fried chicken.

[Jared Goldstein]

They don't. What kind?

[Monét X Change]

It's Brazilians because it's called bossa nova.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's Bossa nova has security. I've been to Boston.

[Sydney Washington]

Well, there are two. There's one in West Hollywood and there's another one in Hollywood.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, Hollywood.

[Sydney Washington]

The Hollywood one is where someone got killed.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, I went to the one that. There's no security. It's really.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, yeah. But not the Hollywood one is.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, thank you.

[Monét X Change]

As Glorilla was saying. So we have. This is. This is recorded right before our show in Los Angeles at the United Theater. And then we're headed to Las Vegas. Have you. You've done Las Vegas?

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, I have. I've went to. I went to Las Vegas to tape a half hour for LOL Network.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, nice.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah. And so is it available? Not yet.

[Monét X Change]

Okay.

[Jared Goldstein]

Not yet, but.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, but it will be not.

[Jared Goldstein]

Not sold yet either. But we don't know where it'll be.

[Monét X Change]

If you, if you out there watching, if you are a network executive, because the network executives love my love Silver Robbery. I'm telling you right now, Sydney Washington is one of the funniest fucking comedians in the game right now. And I feel like queer comedy is on the. Is on the come up.

[Jared Goldstein]

It is, it is. Well, it's. I think it's been happening. First of all, everybody's a little cute now.

[Monét X Change]

Everybody look.

[Jared Goldstein]

Everybody's a little cute now. So it's I think it's being more. Not acceptable, but just we hear it more, we understand it, and we getting it, and people are pushing it to the top.

[Monét X Change]

Which makes sense if we're gonna kick out Ellen DeGeneres. She's too famous. No, not kick her out of the queer community.

[Jared Goldstein]

But like, okay, I was like, wait, no, no, no.

[Monét X Change]

Excluding Ellen Jenners, who is the most, like, popping queer comedian right now?

[Jared Goldstein]

Popping queer comedian.

[Monét X Change]

Is it Mateo?

[Jared Goldstein]

It's going to be Mateo.

[Monét X Change]

Mateo Lane is really.

[Jared Goldstein]

But the thing is that you gays always have somebody. It's the lesbians. We are struggling.

[Monét X Change]

I feel like the lesbians usually have more because the lesbians were with Wanda Sykes. With Ellen DeGeneres, with. What's her name from Night Night Night Night Cop.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, Niecy Nash.

[Monét X Change]

She's a comedian.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, but she is Marshall Warfield. Oh, yes.

[Monét X Change]

I'm trying to think it's more a lesbian comedian. That's all I can think of right now.

[Sydney Washington]

Wanda Sykes.

[Monét X Change]

I said Wanda Sykes already. Yeah. Rosie. Rosie O'Donnell.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay, but no offense, I'm talking. Can we get a little younger? Just a smidge younger? What I'm saying is, why do they have to be legendary?

[Monét X Change]

But it seemed like the lesbians were back when. When you could be queer and legendary, you couldn't be gay and legendary, you had to be a lesbian and legendary.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's why we need another era of, like, young.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Where are the young lesbian comedians at?

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't know. I wouldn't. I'm not.

[Monét X Change]

We have one. Why are y'all not young? Why y'all.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm going through a schmidlife crisis.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, you're younger than Wanda Sykes and Ellen DeGeneres.

[Jared Goldstein]

Absolutely.

[Monét X Change]

You're still in your 30s.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah. I feel like for lesbians, we don't become, like, popping until we're older. Like, when you're a young lesbian, people are like, you're not even really gay yet. You don't even.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, people make lesbians prove it. Yeah, they make you prove. You have to. You have to, like, put in hard work. You have to really. You have to really be in these sapphic streets for a while.

[Jared Goldstein]

You need tenure. Tenure in the coochie, for sure.

[Monét X Change]

Weird how they make you prove that you're a lesbian, but they just assum. Assume you're gay. Like, everyone's gay. You have to. When you're a guy, you have to prove you're straight. And when you're a woman, you have to prove you're a lesbian. That's Weird, isn't it? What is that?

[Jared Goldstein]

I just think that, like, first of all, they don't take women seriously.

[Monét X Change]

That's probably.

[Jared Goldstein]

And then men, they take y'all too seriously.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. That's what it is.

[Jared Goldstein]

You can't live.

[Monét X Change]

That is what it is.

[Jared Goldstein]

And it's. It's very frustrating.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, fortune themester is doing big.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, yes. For fortune is amazing.

[Monét X Change]

Fortune Fester. Not the fortune Fer. That's. And, oh, taking the tarot.

[Jared Goldstein]

But also, when I.

[Monét X Change]

Of a certain age. Take Is Of a certain age.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'm talking about black. Like, P, O, C. I'm talking. I need.

[Monét X Change]

Well, I mean, I guess. I mean, Wanda Sykes is the. Is the. Is the biggest lesbian black comedian.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes, she is. She is. She paved the way. Absolutely.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, when it comes to gay comedians, when it comes to black. Oh, the guy with the TV show on HBO that everyone was mad at for a while.

[Jared Goldstein]

Gerard Carmichael, folks, is mad at him.

[Monét X Change]

I never watched the show.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay.

[Monét X Change]

I. I saw the stuff. It was quite problematic. I'm like, I'm not. I'm not defending it. I just didn't see it.

[Jared Goldstein]

And gays should be allowed to be problematic.

[Monét X Change]

And. And we don't.

[Jared Goldstein]

I.

[Monét X Change]

And we've proven that we are. We can't. We've proven we can do it.

[Jared Goldstein]

We are humans. We are flawed. Nobody should be put on a pedestal. Everybody can get this toxicity. Okay?

[Monét X Change]

But so keep it.

[Jared Goldstein]

Keep it. 1,000.

[Monét X Change]

Did you see the stuff?

[Jared Goldstein]

I saw it and I. I said, you know what? This. This is his art. This is his art. Is this. Is this good for me? I. I don't know, but people were talking about it. People. It was going viral. People watched it.

[Monét X Change]

I feel like right now, for black girls in comedy, a lot of it is. What I'm seeing is Sam.

[Jared Goldstein]

J. Sam Jay.

[Monét X Change]

Sam Jay. Oh, she's a lesbian. Yeah.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes.

[Monét X Change]

For black women in comedy. I'm not seeing a lot of black queer women pop up or. Or even. I mean, to be fun, to be honest, the only young lesbian comedian I can think of right now who's really, really popping, popping, popping is Fortune Fame. Her.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

Because Tig. Tig is probably in her 50s.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

I don't want to be wrong, but that.

[Jared Goldstein]

The thing is, I don't want to be wrong. That's the. Another thing is, is that with men, you're not even thinking about the age. But women, there's always, like, an age thing. And it's. It's. It's like we just want to exist and be.

[Monét X Change]

But how old is Tig?

[Sydney Washington]

45.

[Adore Delano]

She's.

[Monét X Change]

I'm gonna stop saying anyone's age. I just. I need to stop.

[Jared Goldstein]

45 is young.

[Monét X Change]

I'm a big fan of Tig.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

No, no, I was just joking. She's 53.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, my gosh.

[Monét X Change]

Like, Jesus Christ.

[Jared Goldstein]

I was. I believed it, though, because. I don't know.

[Monét X Change]

But, yeah, I mean, for. For black girls now there's like a pretty girl comedy movement with like. With like a B. Simone and like, Jess. Hilarious.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes.

[Monét X Change]

I was just watching Jess Larry say some dumb shit on the Breakfast Club. Like, part of me, like, if y'all can't do an ounce of research, just don't say nothing. Like, they just be on the Breakfast Club saying any fucking thing that is.

[Sydney Washington]

What did you say about Michael Jackson's doctor on that last podcast?

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, but that's different. That's different.

[Jared Goldstein]

Hold him accountable.

[Monét X Change]

No, I hold accountable. I made a mistake about Michael Jackson's death, which. Which was a homicide. As a homicide.

[Jared Goldstein]

Is it a homicide?

[Monét X Change]

It was listed a homicide, yes.

[Jared Goldstein]

Can you wait? Why was it a homicide?

[Monét X Change]

Because there was malpractice and his doctor overdosed him. But. But his doctor wasn't convicted of murder. He was convicted of. He's free now. But Jess, hilarious was just on. On Internet being like, Caitlyn Jenner's right. And trans people trying to do too much. Much. So that's not the same thing. No, no, because Caitlyn Jenner was like, I'm not a trans activist. I am a. I don't know what she said. And then. And then her. And Charlamagne was like, yeah, trans people. Low key, Doing too much. What do you mean, doing too much?

[Jared Goldstein]

What else? What else? What was the follow up of doing too much?

[Monét X Change]

It was. It was about how Donald Trump is releasing this policy where he's going to ban gender affirming care for anyone who is under the age of 18. Which a lot of people. A lot of people don't know this, but most gender affirming care is just therapy. It's just literally trans children being like, I think I might be trans. I want to talk to a therapist. And then they're like, try growing your hair. Try painting your nails. Try using a nickname. See how that feels. I think people think that you tell the doctor you're trans, and then the next day you're getting a double mastectomy at the age of seven. I think they think you're telling the doctor you're trans and you're getting a vaginoplasty at 10. That's what I think. That's what these people think is happening, and it's not happening. Happening. So.

[Jared Goldstein]

But if you actually research, you would know that that's not happening, which is.

[Monét X Change]

What I'm telling to the Breakfast Club. And. And. And they.

[Jared Goldstein]

But they know that facts. They know that facts doesn't get pushed. It's the stupidity. It's the foolishness. It's the throwing things at the. The. The wall that people get all riled up about and talk about.

[Monét X Change]

Well, Jess will do that. She will just say so. There was a video of her one time on a plane with a Sikh man.

[Jared Goldstein]

I know.

[Monét X Change]

And she was like. She was like, it's Muslim on plane. I don't want to be. I don't feel comfortable they talking differently. She had the whole plane deboarded and that. Which, first of all, is. You ever. Have you ever been on a plane that got deboarded?

[Jared Goldstein]

No. Thank goodness, baby. Thank you.

[Monét X Change]

And when you let me.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, wait, no. One time I did, and everybody was furious.

[Monét X Change]

Did you find out who it was?

[Jared Goldstein]

No. No. But no. Something was wrong with the plane. Something was wrong. Something was.

[Monét X Change]

Now imagine if it was because of a passenger.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, we whooping. Imagine.

[Monét X Change]

You find out we whooping ass after. Imagine. And you now. Now we all gotta sit gate with you looking at you.

[Jared Goldstein]

And she was standing on it too. You know, she didn't give it 10 toes down. She was like, I fight everybody. And she was in her head whenever.

[Monét X Change]

10 toes in. When you standing on business. I'm a, you know, song big step up underground, blah, blah. I. I only know the Tik Tok version, so I only literally know for that part.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's the only thing that matters now.

[Monét X Change]

We literally rehearsed that entire dance and we didn't do it.

[Jared Goldstein]

What happened? Can we talk about what happened?

[Monét X Change]

Okay, so me, Amber, Jasmine, and Sydney were preparing to make this TikTok text.

[Jared Goldstein]

Amber and make sure she sends us the little clip that we have.

[Monét X Change]

She posted it. She posted online.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, she posted it on the Stories, but I need it for when I do my dad.

[Monét X Change]

And we were gonna do the. The Lose my Breath TikTok challenge. And then you know what it was?

[Jared Goldstein]

What?

[Monét X Change]

I remember what? It was dark and the bus was not. It was dark and the bus was not near.

[Jared Goldstein]

Also, you was ready to wrap it up. You were. You were.

[Monét X Change]

No, I was ready. You were ready because I remember, like, let's go. And then the bus was dark and there was. I. I am. I. When I'm at work, I'm ready to work, honey.

[Jared Goldstein]

You. Well, it's.

[Monét X Change]

I don't be tired. I don't be at work tired.

[Jared Goldstein]

I feel like work, though. I just want you to know. But before we. I feel like Vegas or la, we have to get.

[Monét X Change]

Well, Vegas is full of lights.

[Jared Goldstein]

Okay. It is. It's a well lit city.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. It can be me, you, rob, Alessa. I don't fuck Aaron. Aaron does things like Aaron want to do. Aaron is the merchant, the merchandise manager. That is like, Aaron. Aaron wouldn't be like, I really want to do this.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yo. Vegas is a well lit city. Yeah, I forgot about that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So that's like the whole thing.

[Jared Goldstein]

I forgot that.

[Monét X Change]

It's like you forgot Times Square was world. That's kind of the whole thing.

[Jared Goldstein]

It is so. And I think that's why Vegas it's so that's why they want you to be super duper hot. They want you to be extra, extra hot.

[Monét X Change]

Are you familiar with hello, Vegas?

[Jared Goldstein]

No.

[Monét X Change]

So there's a clip of Ariana Grande going, hello, Vegas. But it just sounded like she's yelling, hello, it's Vegas.

[Sydney Washington]

Let me hear you make some noise.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, yeah, it's Vegas. Let me hear you make some noise. But you know, Ariana Grande famously doesn't have great diction. So it sounds like she's saying, faggots, let me hear you make some noise. Which, to be honest, Ariana Grande. Concert. Concert. Low key.

[Jared Goldstein]

Makes sense.

[Monét X Change]

Low key is her.

[Jared Goldstein]

And the high part, Faggots, let me.

[Monét X Change]

Hear you make some noise. Wait, can I. Are you fine again?

[Jared Goldstein]

There you go crazy for that.

[Monét X Change]

Faggots, let me hear you make some noises.

[Jared Goldstein]

I love that.

[Monét X Change]

It's wild.

[Jared Goldstein]

You know, people are bringing that word back. They're being real loosey goose.

[Monét X Change]

Well, who the gay boys?

[Jared Goldstein]

Everybody.

[Monét X Change]

Vegas. Let me hear y'all make some noise. Vegas, Let me hear y'all make some noise. They were like, yeah. Mother 8. Mother 8. You know, when it comes to people saying faggot and fag, obviously, I don't care if any. I don't care if any gay guy says it. Certain lesbians, I'm cool with pretty much all trans women. Because. Because. Because most trans women have been called a faggot at some point in their life.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah. But I think it's like doing it in front of mixed company, in front of people who are not aware and then they think that they can say it. That's the issue.

[Monét X Change]

Like, who is thinking they can say faggots?

[Jared Goldstein]

Everybody.

[Monét X Change]

Straight guys?

[Jared Goldstein]

Every. Everybody. Anybody, Everybody.

[Monét X Change]

I don't even know straight Guys like that though, I don't know.

[Jared Goldstein]

But even there are some people who are like gay and they say. I'm like, not now, it's too early.

[Monét X Change]

Where, where can I.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's too early. It's 2:00pm No, I think, I think the F should be at least after 10:00pm It's 10:00pm 10:00pm 5:00.

[Monét X Change]

We o'clock at a word.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, 5:00. You're still here.

[Monét X Change]

Make some noise.

[Jared Goldstein]

You're still around work people. You're still in your work, your work uniform. No, five o'clock. Too early.

[Monét X Change]

How do you feel about the D word?

[Jared Goldstein]

I want to keep it 1000. I think a lot of white lesbians say it in a way that it's like, yay, we're dykes.

[Monét X Change]

And.

[Jared Goldstein]

But then when I hear it from, from my girly, I'm like that. It just still feels hateful.

[Monét X Change]

I. When white people say dykes, it feels like a reclamation. And I have. I don't think I've heard a lot of black lesbians saying dyke as a reclamation.

[Jared Goldstein]

It is.

[Monét X Change]

When they say it is, it is lowkey slurry. How about like, like dykes on bikes? You know, I dike somebody.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes, I did. Yeah. I actually just heard about it and it's cute. It's cute. Would I want to type that out, put it in a caption, then press post? No.

[Monét X Change]

How about the word, the term Sapphic?

[Jared Goldstein]

What's that?

[Monét X Change]

Sapphic is like lesbian Sapphic.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's what, that's the term.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, Sapphic people like Sapphic is the adjective.

[Sydney Washington]

So I think there's like a new sex. There's a new section of like lesbian.

[Jared Goldstein]

No Child Left behind right here.

[Sydney Washington]

There's a new section of like lesbians who are kind of like anti trans in a way, being like, oh, like we're only like very like.

[Monét X Change]

All the Sapphics. Turfy.

[Sydney Washington]

No, no, it's the opposite. So Sapphic is an umbrella term that includes people of like all gender identities that still like lean toward the lesbian way without like necessarily falling under the lesbian category. If you don't identify as like a woman's.

[Monét X Change]

So you can be non binary and Sapphic.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes, exactly.

[Monét X Change]

You got it. Okay.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's a lot of learning.

[Monét X Change]

I learned something new today.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's why people are good. I think sometimes it's just. They're not understanding. It's a, it's a misunderstanding.

[Monét X Change]

How about gay guys saying the D word?

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't like it. I don't like it.

[Monét X Change]

That's valid.

[Jared Goldstein]

It just it sounds like you're trying to make something funny that isn't so.

[Monét X Change]

I have a lyric. One of my songs you say, is.

[Jared Goldstein]

That why you're pulling. You're pulling this out for me?

[Monét X Change]

So you let. You know I'm asking. Okay, Like, I made a video last night and I was asking people, I made a video about this. This, this. This big one was dancing. I said, hey guys, if this is a messy take, I'll take it down. I just want to know.

[Jared Goldstein]

But like, I think you wait that telling people, like, if it's a messy take, I'll take it down. If you have to say that, then you know damn well it's messy take.

[Monét X Change]

I don't think it was messy. I said, when bad people dance, it hits harder. When like a big body is moving, it looks cooler. It just looks like when you see a big girl or a big guy or a big person dancing, it looks more impressive.

[Jared Goldstein]

Owning it, owning it.

[Monét X Change]

It just looks more impressive than when you see a skinny person or a fit person doing it.

[Jared Goldstein]

Hey, what I've learned.

[Monét X Change]

And everyone's like, no, it's not messy.

[Jared Goldstein]

In 2024, dancing is not easy. So I just feel like when I see anybody hitting that 1, 2, 3. I'm like, I'm impressed. But yes, a bigger body. That as well.

[Monét X Change]

So the lyric was. My lyric is play this song from Broadway to Kuenga. If I'm on the track is guaranteed to be a banger talking fact dyke trans fight shit music for my people. And we don't have. And you don't have to like, oh, no, that's good. I like that you thought I was like these.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Monét X Change]

The day I saw. No, imagine today I was saying, I.

[Jared Goldstein]

Know, but you never know. I'm glad you explained it to me because at first she was about to.

[Monét X Change]

Leave her mad at me.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I was going to be. I was like, I want to hear it. No, it's just like, you know, sometimes the beat. I already know the beat is gone.

[Monét X Change]

What bitches?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, your beat with the song.

[Monét X Change]

Oh, the beat. Oh yeah, the beat. I was like. I was like, we saying the beat.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, no, no, no, no. Be.

[Monét X Change]

You know that clip of New Le going watch it with them B words.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah. I can't get over Cheryl Lee.

[Monét X Change]

You have fun in your room.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, bitch.

[Monét X Change]

Watch with them B words.

[Jared Goldstein]

I can't get over saying bitch to Cheryl.

[Monét X Change]

Cunty bitch.

[Jared Goldstein]

You would never. I don't even think anybody has said that in front of her. I want to ask.

[Monét X Change]

She probably never heard the word I couldn't imagine.

[Jared Goldstein]

Now, what is this word that loose in front of Cheryl Lee Rouse?

[Monét X Change]

What's this word you're saying?

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah, bitch. How do you spell it?

[Monét X Change]

Never heard it once in my whole entire life.

[Jared Goldstein]

Because, you know, people are so loose with bitch and sis and hey, girl. I can't even imagine being like, hey, girl to Cheryl.

[Monét X Change]

I, I, I, I'm pretty loose with the. I am pretty loose. We're all loose with this.

[Jared Goldstein]

Just be flying is a part of the.

[Monét X Change]

And girl.

[Jared Goldstein]

Girl too.

[Monét X Change]

And I have to realize this when I get around straight guys, which is not. It's not often I'm around straight guys, but they. Sometimes they take umbrage with being called girl.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, they know if they have a girl, if they say bro. If they're in a relationship with a woman, they. We calling everybody girl. Girl.

[Monét X Change]

Girl.

[Jared Goldstein]

I'll call your mother girl. Your grandma girl, anybody. Dick. Girl.

[Monét X Change]

Straight people are saying bro. A lot of straight women are saying bro to each other.

[Jared Goldstein]

That is.

[Monét X Change]

Have you seen this? Straight women are growing. Straight women are growing. Other women.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's comedy. They're, they're just.

[Monét X Change]

It's a bit.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's funny. Yeah, it's a bit. It's Bruh, bruv. I like. Bruv, bruv, bruv.

[Monét X Change]

Ayo, bruv, bruv. I love that little, little South London accent.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yeah. Oh, it's so hot.

[Monét X Change]

What you're wondering, bruv, what you talking to? Listen what you're talking about. It's having a good time tonight, babes.

[Jared Goldstein]

It's something about this accent.

[Monét X Change]

What is it?

[Jared Goldstein]

Very, very.

[Monét X Change]

You don't like it?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I don't like. There's another one that I like.

[Monét X Change]

I like the E. Oh, the, all the. Oh, well, Idris Alba probably has a bit more of a refined accent.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes, I like that.

[Monét X Change]

Speaks a little bit more properly and.

[Jared Goldstein]

I like that one. But also, did you watch the show Top Boy?

[Monét X Change]

No.

[Jared Goldstein]

On Netflix. Autumn accents got me.

[Monét X Change]

Top Boy was around.

[Jared Goldstein]

Top Boy. Drugs, drugs, gangs, Death.

[Monét X Change]

Drugs. Innocent. Innocent Gangs and death and drugs.

[Jared Goldstein]

Black.

[Monét X Change]

Is it like. Is it like snow?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, I wouldn't say it was snow. I feel like it's.

[Monét X Change]

It's like Breaking Bad but with black people.

[Jared Goldstein]

No, it's not like Breaking Bad.

[Monét X Change]

Is it like Claws? Yes, there we go. You watch Claws?

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. Claws was great.

[Monét X Change]

I feel like no one watched Claw, which only got two seasons. I was like, where was all the Claw support?

[Jared Goldstein]

I know. What, what channel was it on?

[Monét X Change]

I want to say fx.

[Jared Goldstein]

Fx. That where you get that On Hulu.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, it might have been fx, but also it. But you know what. You know, in my opinion, what the issue with Clause was on tnt. Tnt.

[Jared Goldstein]

Tnt. That's. Now, that's crazy, because if we. In the hotel, TNT is playing.

[Monét X Change]

The issue with Claus, in my opinion, was. That was. Yes.

[Jared Goldstein]

Tell us your notes.

[Monét X Change]

It was too close.

[Jared Goldstein]

Tell us your notes.

[Monét X Change]

It was too close to the concept of Breaking Bad. And they had one of the actors from Breaking Bad. Bad.

[Jared Goldstein]

And.

[Monét X Change]

And I think people are like, why y'all doing Breaking Bad again?

[Jared Goldstein]

Why are they doing that? I mean, they did Friends, which is really Living Single.

[Monét X Change]

They did Ozarks, which is lowkey Breaking Bad, but they didn't have any of the actors from Breaking Bad. It was just.

[Jared Goldstein]

It was just so one actor from another. Then it's all ruined.

[Monét X Change]

Maybe.

[Jared Goldstein]

But what about Black, blackish, and, you know, lightish? Okay, all right, now.

[Monét X Change]

Now, if they. If they would have done. If they would have done Living Single and then took just Queen Latifah, FIFA, and did Friends, that would be weird.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. But I would love to see it.

[Monét X Change]

What was the black lady on Franz name? Now she hosts Whose Life is. Anyway.

[Sydney Washington]

Alicia Tyler.

[Monét X Change]

Alicia. I met her at a party one time.

[Jared Goldstein]

She's beautiful.

[Monét X Change]

Stunning.

[Jared Goldstein]

She is so be. And I think she was doing standup, but then she was like voiceover stuff and commentary things. She's like, I guess I don't need to do standup no more because I haven't seen her do standup in a while.

[Monét X Change]

I feel like there comes a point where some comics are like. Like there are some folks who are, like, tried and true. I will be doing comedy no matter what. Like, you cannot stop me from doing comedy. Like Chris Rock and Wanda Sykes and Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. And there's some people who are like Dave Chappelle. Some folks like, I'm good. Like, like Rose. And I was like, I'm good. I don't have to keep doing this.

[Jared Goldstein]

Because if you are. If you're doing a syndicated show, you that money, what you need to be on stage.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, I don't. I don't think that the others are doing. Are doing it for the money. Like, they just need. Because they could. They could float by on. On. They could fl. Float by on roles and in. In movie and TV gigs. And. I mean, Chris Rock was in a Disney movie. Didn't he play the firefly in. Didn't Chris Rock play a firefly in the movie?

[Jared Goldstein]

I don't know.

[Sydney Washington]

He. You think he's the firefly in the the frog?

[Monét X Change]

No, he's the firefly in some other movie. Chris Rock plays a. A fly or. Or a. Chris Rock plays a fly in some animated film.

[Jared Goldstein]

Well, wait. Was. No, Eddie Murphy was the donkey and.

[Monét X Change]

Shrek, and he was also the dragon in Mulan, playing the exact same character, and no one talks about this?

[Jared Goldstein]

Well, it's. It's Eddie Murphy.

[Monét X Change]

I know, but, like, literally, the sidekick twice.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. They said he eats this down. You got it.

[Monét X Change]

I mean, he did a pretty decent job.

[Jared Goldstein]

Clean it up.

[Monét X Change]

He did a good job in Mulan, but he ate in Shrek. What are you saying, Kennedy?

[Jared Goldstein]

He was the zebra in Madagascar.

[Monét X Change]

He was a zebra. He was a bug. He played a bug in a movie. Movie.

[Jared Goldstein]

He was all Murphy or Chris Rock.

[Monét X Change]

Chris Rock played a bug in a movie. Did Chris Rock play a bug in a movie? Hold on.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Since he was in the B movie.

[Monét X Change]

He was in B movie. Who did he play?

[Sydney Washington]

He was probably a.

[Monét X Change]

He was a mosquito. Chris Rock in B movie is a 2007. I know what the movie is. Starring Jerry Seinfeld. Patrick. Yeah. Moose. But he was. He was. He was a mosquito.

[Sydney Washington]

Have you seen B movie?

[Monét X Change]

No.

[Jared Goldstein]

Was it good? Did it do well?

[Sydney Washington]

No, it's about a B.

[Monét X Change]

A B? Jerry Seinfeld's a B. Right.

[Sydney Washington]

But he falls in love with a woman. There's, like a B Woman. Romance.

[Monét X Change]

Nothing about B movie. Maybe one. There was. There was not a.

[Jared Goldstein]

The numbers. The numbers were bad. Is that what you're saying?

[Monét X Change]

I think the movie did well. I had two of them. No, they only had one. There was nothing about B movie that made me want to watch that film. Literally nothing. Thing. No, no. No offense, Jerry. You know, Jerry's doing fine without me. I'm sure. I'm sure Jerry will. Jerry doesn't care that I'm. That I'm having this conversation.

[Jared Goldstein]

He's not watching this.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Before we go.

[Jared Goldstein]

This is not on his Kindle.

[Monét X Change]

Literally. Before we go. Where can people find you if they're looking to get some Sydney in their life?

[Jared Goldstein]

Sydney in their life. I am on Instagram. Just said BW and then with a Y. Yes, just Sid. I was. I.

[Monét X Change]

Not with an eye.

[Jared Goldstein]

With a Y, but who's putting. Okay, anyways, just Sid, J, U, S, T. I'm like, when you think of Sydney, don't you want to put the Y Sy? Just. It doesn't give you that edge, you know? S. Yeah. You're no. That person is on stage.

[Monét X Change]

You're getting no dissent from me. I'm on your side.

[Jared Goldstein]

They're working behind a desk.

[Monét X Change]

Wow. T. All the Sydney's watching. All the si. All the SI's watching are really. We just. Our viewership just drops.

[Jared Goldstein]

Yes. Yes.

[Monét X Change]

Have you performed in Sydney?

[Jared Goldstein]

No, but if anybody wants to be there, I would gladly go. Are you going there? Are you going to Sydney?

[Monét X Change]

I just got back from Sydney.

[Jared Goldstein]

Are you freaking kidding me? You didn't ask?

[Monét X Change]

I started this tour in Sydney.

[Jared Goldstein]

That's crazy.

[Monét X Change]

But I was using Australian comedians in Australia. Boo.

[Jared Goldstein]

They don't need. They already have the work. Bring us in.

[Monét X Change]

I wasn't booking, like, the biggest Australian comedians. I didn't book Hannah Gatsby.

[Jared Goldstein]

Oh, another. Another lesbian.

[Monét X Change]

Another.

[Jared Goldstein]

Another lesbian. Huge.

[Monét X Change]

There it is. There it is. We got to get some. But she's. She's. She's actually pretty young. She's like in her 40s. But we got to get some black New Wanda's like, we got to get a black new lesbian up in this piece.

[Jared Goldstein]

Paris. Sassy. She's incredible.

[Adore Delano]

Paris.

[Jared Goldstein]

But you.

[Monét X Change]

Why not you?

[Jared Goldstein]

Me too. Me too. But I think it's all about passing. You know, when you're. I'm already. I'm already here. You're on platform. I'm on the platform. You have to say the names. Asha Ward. But I wouldn't. I don't know. I think.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah, she did you just out somebody. That's crazy.

[Jared Goldstein]

Asha is a writer on snl.

[Monét X Change]

That's crazy.

[Jared Goldstein]

Phenomenal.

[Monét X Change]

I thought she. I don't know if she's a lesbian. I thought you. I don't know if she was a lesbian.

[Jared Goldstein]

Queer.

[Monét X Change]

Dad. That was cra. All right, well, now I'm going to get rid of my. My most problematic guess ever. Is she a lesbian or not?

[Jared Goldstein]

She is.

[Monét X Change]

Is she out?

[Jared Goldstein]

I'mma text her. She did. No, no, no. Because she did Hannah Gatsby. Like, featuring on Netflix. The gender. Yes.

[Monét X Change]

Yeah. Okay, so. Ooh, shit, that was scary. All right, y'all. And on that note, thank you for watching. Y'all can find Sydney over on Instagram.

[Jared Goldstein]

Instagram. And I have a podcast called Mess with Marie Fostin.

[Monét X Change]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. All right, y'all be good by.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

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