The One About The Holidays (Re-Release)

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One About The Holidays" (Re-Release)

Date: December 13, 2023
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

In this festive re-release, comedy drag duo Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen dive into all things holidays. With their trademark banter and razor-sharp wit, they reminisce about holiday traditions, Christmas memories, tricky family moments, the realities of being recognized in public, and the quirks of Black and LGBTQ+ holiday culture. The discussion is lively, peppered with personal anecdotes, hilarious diversions, and honest reflections on what the season means for them.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Audio Drama & Drag Queens (01:23–05:38)

• The episode humorously opens with a back-and-forth about Monét’s microphone issues, and Bob’s long-standing reputation for “crunchy” audio.
• They joke about tech gifts, buying microphones for each other, and playfully shade each other’s recording setups.

Quote:
“Who's recording on their MacBook microphone today?” – Bob (02:11)

• Monét explains why she’s in drag (promoting Death Drop in London), leading to more banter about self-promotion and forgetting to plug each other's gigs.

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2. Sausage Rolls, Wigs, and LA Living (05:38–12:22)

• Monét raves about sausage rolls after moving to London.
• There’s a deep dive into the practical problems of living with roommates in LA during the pandemic, sharing space, and the "Zoom audition" viral video featuring Lucas Gage and his "shitty apartment" (08:04–09:39).

Memorable Moment:
Bob retells an embarrassing story of accidentally talking shit in a group video call screen share:
“I just said, ‘This lady sure can talk.’ But Mitch was screen sharing, and we were all looking at the screen, and then it popped up...” (11:17)

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3. Shit-Talking Mishaps & Podcast Reflections (11:09–15:28)

• Bob and Monét discuss the perils of talking behind people’s backs, their incriminating Facebook message history, and forgetfulness about previous podcast episode content.
• They debate if RuPaul would ever join their podcast for a milestone episode.

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4. Holidays: War on Christmas & Secular Celebrations (20:29–22:30)

• The “War on Christmas,” Starbucks’ “Happy Holidays” cups, and the politics/chillness of secular vs. religious holiday greetings.
• Both favor “Happy Holidays” for inclusivity.

Quote:
“People who blindly wrap their minds around things like Christmas, religion, iPhones… it does boggle me.” – Bob (21:44)

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5. Christmas Memories & Traditions (22:30–37:35)

• Both reminisce about their families’ traditions: Monét’s Caribbean Christmases in St. Lucia, Bob’s Southern upbringing, and the “magic” of waking to overflowing presents.
• Discussion of fake vs. real Christmas trees (39:13), hiding presents, and NYC’s Rockefeller Center tree.

Quote:
“The feeling of Christmas as a child is probably one of the most amazing, intense bouts of joy and happiness I think I’ve ever had in my life.” – Bob (32:12)

• Bob’s anecdote about Lawrence, the kid who promised X-Men power belts in elementary school, highlights the joy and naiveté of childhood holiday excitement.

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6. Santa Claus, Capitalism & TV Memories (27:30–35:51)

• The origins of the modern Santa image (thanks to Norman Rockwell & Coca-Cola) (27:42–28:11).
• Fondness for movies like The Santa Clause and Home Alone; debate over Tim Allen’s career and politics (28:47–29:52).
• When they stopped believing in Santa Claus and the parallels Bob draws between belief in Santa and religious faith (30:32–32:09).

Quote:
“He looks different in every movie; it doesn’t make sense. I remember being a kid and being like, ‘Ma, is Santa real?’ She’d go, ‘No, he’s not.’ Like, ‘Is Jesus?’ ‘No, he’s real.’” – Bob (31:47)

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7. Public Recognition & Picture Etiquette (56:10–60:13)

• Discussing the awkwardness when fans want (or don’t want) pictures.
• The etiquette of friends pushing people to ask for photos, and strategies for politely refusing when overwhelmed or tired (especially after a gig or at airports).
• Hilarious tales of hiding identity ("No, I’m not Monét") when recognized in public (58:42–59:10).

Quote:
“Can you smile?” – ‘You get what you get.’” – Bob (60:01)

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8. Holiday Music, New Traditions & Kwanzaa (49:51–54:47)

• Favorite Christmas tracks: comparing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and "Please Come Home for Christmas."
• Nostalgic Black holiday songs: “12 Hood Days of Christmas.”
• Brief, cheeky discussion of Kwanzaa’s seven principles, Monét and Bob’s attempts (or lack thereof) at celebrating it.

Quote:
“Kwanzaa sounds like… what it stands for is really great. But… gifts are supposed to be, like, made, as opposed to PS5s and wigs and jewelry.” – Monét (54:02)

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9. Pop Culture, Sabrina & Closing Thoughts (54:47–61:44)

• Reminiscing about Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Clarissa Explains It All (Melissa Joan Hart’s intertwined TV legacy).
• Sharing funny stories of run-ins with celebrities and fans.
• Bob’s “Mary Xmas” shirt and Trixie Mattel's merch success.
• A final plea: be charitable and kind during the holidays—not just with money, but with time and resources.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Christmas Morning Magic:
  “Waking up in your pajamas, running to go see if the milk and cookies are gone… it just felt different.” – Bob (32:12)

• On Growing Up:
  “Being a child, just seeing the world through that lens, is really a gift… discovering everything for the first time.” – Bob (35:51)

• On Kwanzaa:
  “You’re just naming your cousins at this point!” – Bob, joking about the principles (53:32)

• On Fan Photos:
  “Sometimes they go, ‘Can you smile?’ and I’m like, you get what you get.” – Bob (60:01)

• Holiday Advice:
  “If you have an extra dollar or two, give it to someone who needs it. Like, you know, just be nice.” – Monét (61:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:23–05:38: Microphone drama & drag life
• 08:04–09:39: Viral Zoom audition story
• 11:17: Bob’s screen share shit-talking mishap
• 20:29–22:30: The “War on Christmas” & secular greetings
• 27:30–29:52: Santa Claus’ image & Tim Allen debate
• 32:12: Magic of Christmas as a child
• 39:13–42:09: Real vs. fake trees, Rockefeller’s "sad" tree
• 54:02: Kwanzaa’s principles and tradition
• 58:42–59:10: Monét dodges recognition ("You lied to me!")
• 60:01: “You get what you get” fan photo policy
• 61:44: Final holiday message & call for kindness

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Tone & Style

Warm, unfiltered, and laugh-out-loud funny. Monét and Bob’s chemistry shines as they bounce from playful bickering to sincere moments of nostalgia and thoughtful reflection. The episode showcases their unique blend of shade, irreverence, and heart, making holiday chatter both relatable and side-splitting.

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Takeaway

Even if you’re not a holiday person, Bob and Monét’s open-hearted, riotous exploration of their festive memories and traditions makes for an episode brimming with laughs, truth-telling, and a reminder that the holidays are what you make them—be it with chosen family, real trees or fake, Kwanzaa crafts, or just a good Christmas song. Their parting ask: be kind, be generous, and don’t expect a smile in every fan selfie!

Transcript

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[A]

Hey y', all, listen. We are re releasing an episode this week but we have brand new content exclusively on our Patreon. So if you want to see the Meet the Queens of the season 16 girls that Bob and I, we read them through, we looked at them tooth and nail. Go to our Patreon to see the brand new episode of the Meet the Queens of the season 16.

[B]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen

[A]

and I'm Monet X Change and this is simply rivalry. I want to apologize to the listeners right now I am going through some mic failure. So we're using a third party thing to record my audio. So my audio sounds a little bobbish today is because that's so interesting.

[B]

Because just the last episode you were talking about my audio and how bad it was. That is so interesting.

[A]

I mean again, if you look at the comments from past videos, you are the crunchy audio queen. Just to reiterate for the night, well,

[B]

who's recording on their MacBook microphone today?

[A]

Well, honestly, you're recording on your yeti will not stop you from having crunchy audio. You will find a way.

[B]

I also want to point out that you and I, first of all, let's just make this to the listeners, to anyone who's lend us their ears on this gay ass day, on this homosexual day, Monet and I are recording on the exact same mic. And Monet's recording on one that I purchased for her while she over there talking smack.

[A]

No one said you didn't. No one. No one is discounted. You purchased this mic for me. I'm just saying that you, you having a yeti has not stopped you from having crunchy audio. Throughout tenure of this podcast.

[B]

I can't hear you through your crunchy MacBook Pro microphone, by the way. Monet's still a MacBook. Monet's. Monet don't brag about the bad. The shitty microphone. Monet's recording through a MacBook that still has a CD drive in it. Just so wrong.

[A]

That is literally not true. You're literally making some up.

[B]

Monet has a floppy disk drive.

[A]

My name is not. Also, my name is Monet, not Monet. You're not British, so stop. You never will never be British.

[B]

Oh, so you let. You let Raja call you Wahwash? Wana. But I can't call you Mane?

[A]

Yes, correct.

[B]

Muy interesante. Why are you.

[A]

Sometimes you speak. Sometimes you speak Spanish like a white person. I don't like when you do that. You should give Spanish the respect it deserves.

[B]

Nigga, give these nuts the respect they deserve, since we respect each other.

[A]

Not talking about some muy eterasante. Ew.

[B]

I did not. I said muy interesante. I did not say muy interesante. I said muy interesante.

[A]

Why are you talking muy extraterrestrial. What's up? What you going through? What's up? What's good?

[B]

While you. Both of you go tell it. Why are you in drag to everyone who's watching on YouTube?

[A]

I'm in drag because I had to do some promo for Death Drop, which is currently at the Garrick Theater in London, and I am starring at Summer. Summer Reigns.

[B]

Wait, Mitch, were you there for the episode that we did? The crossover episode? Because we were doing the crossover episode, and at the very end, they said, does anyone have anything to promote? And Monet said, no, literally nothing. And I was like, well, I guess I'll promote Death Drop with Courtney acting Monet exchange on the Western Boss.

[A]

There have been times when, Bobby, you act like you and I have done stuff together, and you're like, now like, oh, my God, But Bob is doing this thing. Don't act like I have never promoted stuff for you, and you have forgotten for yourself as well.

[B]

I remember to promote. I remember to promote myself.

[A]

That is not Bob. We have been in a situation where you have not before.

[B]

Name one. I'll wait.

[A]

When you were. When. When. When we're Here was on, and you and I were on the Best Friends podcast with. With Sasheer and Nicole Byer, and they were. And they asked us at the end, you said, civic rivalry, and I was like, also, we're here, which is currently on hbo Max.

[B]

Well, maybe I'LL give you that. But I also want to gag that still. You were literally like, no, literally nothing. I have nothing to promote. I'm not. I'm just in London hanging out with some friends, eating. Eating pasties, eating sausage, eating bangers and mash.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I love sausage rolls. Sausage rolls are so good. And the ones that prep have, like, that flavor.

[B]

Can you describe what a sausage roll is? Because I don't think that I'm thinking of the same thing you're thinking of. Like, what is a sausage roll?

[A]

A sausage roll is like a. It's like a. It's like a flaky breaded thing with a big old sausage in it. The sausage is not like a hot dog length. Like, I want to say, is it

[B]

like a pig in a blanket?

[A]

It's not. It's not a pig in a blanket. It's different. I'll take a picture and I'll show you. Sausage rolls are my new shit. I fucking love a sausage roll.

[B]

What is this? Who did this hair?

[A]

Patty did it. Well, this is all. It's, like, done now. I've been in drag for, like, six, six hours. This is human hair. Human hair does not have a long shelf life. When Patty first did it.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

We know you wear human hair.

[B]

Oh, my God, I can't. Monet and her human hair.

[A]

We're human. Human. Civil rivalry. Here we go, Bob. Another thing Bob hates. Bob hates. He hates iPhones. He hates human. Jesus.

[B]

Monet won't stop. I wear human. I wear human hair.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

My hair is.

[A]

I am not even that girl that I wear. I still have a lot of synthetic wigs. What are you even talking about?

[B]

Name one. Name one synthetic wig. Name one synthetic wig.

[A]

What do you mean, name one?

[B]

Name one. Name one mon. Since you got so many synthetic wigs. Literally, name one, cuz I can name mine. There's Jessica, Darina and umandra.

[A]

You are just. Oh, girl, this is. I. I never realized how many things Bob hates.

[B]

This is just getting hard to keep

[A]

track of the amount of things Bob.

[B]

Any time.

[A]

How are you doing? How's LA doing?

[B]

LA's fine. I'm having a hard time finding places in this apartment to film in because, I mean, it is. There are three of us living in this apartment right now, and it is not huge. And, you know, I'm trying to also make way for my roommate to also use the home as well. So today I'm in my bedroom. Like, have you seen. It's like this interesting clip online, and it is this Person being like, I just want people to see a window into my life. And you can see, like, the camera angle. And then there's just stuff piled up so behind them. It looks really neat. But then what you can't see right out of camera frame is just, like, clothes. And that's what I'm doing right now, girl. Like, there is just. I'm surrounded by things.

[A]

Do you remember, have you seen that viral video of that guy, that kid, Lucas Gage? He's auditioning for the show and he's auditioning for a role. And like, the director. It was a zoom audition, and the director thought he was on mute and he was like, and these people in there, in these ugly apart in there in their. In their shitty apartments. And the guy goes, yeah, well, you know, that's what I got. He's like, oh, my. The director is like, oh, my God. I am really sorry. I. And he is.

[B]

Wait, what's it? Lucas Gage.

[A]

Lucas Gage. How have you not seen this? It was everywhere a few weeks ago.

[B]

No, that is wild. Did he get the role?

[A]

I don't know if he got it, but the director was like. And these people in their shitty apartments. And he was like, well, it's what I got. And he was like, I'm so sorry, Lucas. I should have mean and. But mind you, it was not. It was like a nice apartment. I was like, that looks like. Like. What do you mean? Sure. It's not like.

[B]

Can I take a look? Let me watch. It's a minute long. Let me see what he's got.

[A]

These four people live in these tiny apartments. Like, I'm looking at his, you know, background, and he's got his TV and, you know. Yeah, muted. I know it's a department. That's why give me this job so I can get a better one. All right, ready? Oh, my God. I'm so, so sorry. No, it's totally. Listen, I'm living in a. I'm living in a 4x4 box. It's fine. Just give me the job and we'll be fine.

[B]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine that?

[A]

Crazy. And. Well, what was the crazy part is that in the. In the longer video, the camera flashes. It flashes to the director. He's like this.

[B]

Shut the fuck up, Monet. Shut the fuck up. That is so embarrassing. I mean, I think we're all guilty of shit talking. That's the tea. We're all guilty of shit talking. I don't shit talk, Monet. Shut the fuck up. Before I release some goddamn Donald Trump grabbed by the Pussy tapes of you. Okay? Do not. I'm not about to have you.

[A]

Anyone.

[B]

Oh, my God. I can't.

[A]

I cannot recall a single time I was shit talked. Anyone. Like, literally, not one time in my life.

[B]

Okay? Anyway, like I was saying before Monet went on her. Her phony brigade, her phony charade, she's on right now. Like, it's not like people don't shit talk everyone. But, like, when you get caught doing it, that shit. Like, that shit is me. And I mean, full disclosure, me and Mitch. Don't lean that close, girl, because that wig is not glued down.

[A]

I don't care. Listen, I want. Bob. I tell you this all the time. I want my fans to see the real me. I don't give them this fake facade that you give them. I give them the real me.

[B]

Gluing your wigs down isn't fake. That is fake. Gluing your wig down is just gluing your wig. So it's fake if you don't glue your. If you glue it down, it's fake. But if you just throw it on your head haphazardly, that's real.

[A]

That's real. That's what I give my fans. I give my fans realness.

[B]

Okay, Monet and I don't even know how to respond to that.

[A]

You did a music video about it, but clearly you didn't hold onto the realness.

[B]

Well, yeah, you got me. I glued my wigs down. You caught me. You caught me. When I do drag, I glue my wigs. Everybody watch out. That's the truth. Monet's exposed me on this podcast. But anyway, so me and Mitch were once doing this. Doing this thing, and we were, like, recording, and this one person would, like, would not stop talking. And they just kept going on and on, and they just. I mean, and we were. We were in the group and one of the people was like, I have a heart out in like five minutes, I cannot be here. And this other person just kept going on. So then I just text into the group text. I said, this lady sure can talk is what I said. But what happened was Mitch was screen sharing, and we were all looking at the screen, and then it popped up on the screen. And I was. I'm talking about. I felt like I was mortified. But also, she wouldn't stop talking. But all I said was, this lady sure can talk. That was the exact quote. Mitch can vouch for that. I didn't say anything dirty or shady, but in my defense, she wouldn't stop talking. It was insane.

[A]

We'd be like, can you tell us a name?

[B]

Absolutely not. I'd be like, we only have, like, three minutes, so let's try to everyone keep it to just three minutes. And then I think, like, 10 minutes later, I just said, well, this lady sure can talk. And then someone else. No, this is what happens. I said, this lady sure can talk. And then me and Mitch were, like, laughing about that. And then someone else commented, I'm just glad we all got a chance to speak. But me and Mitch didn't realize it was popping on the screen. And then someone else in the group was like, stop. Stop texting here.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, wait, did she see it? Do you know?

[B]

No, she never saw. She was looking down. She was looking down and she never saw it.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's so inappropriate. Wow.

[B]

But she was. She wouldn't stop talking. It was insane. And it was either me being like, can you please? We need to move on. Like, this is wild. It was truly wild.

[A]

I mean, I've never been caught shit talking someone.

[B]

Well, you never done it,

[A]

right, so I couldn't get caught. No, I've never been caught shitting, talking. I mean, not to my knowledge that I know I've been caught shit talking someone, but, I mean, I would say

[B]

this in terms of shit talking. I need to do this. I need to put my Facebook password into some sort of, like, a safe that will be released when I die.

[A]

And.

[B]

And whoever. Actually, here's. Let's make a difference between you and me. Whichever.

[A]

We did this on the podcast, like, four episodes ago. Do you remember who?

[B]

Regardless, listen, whoever dies first needs to go back and delete our entire Facebook message thread, because it is. It's very incriminating.

[A]

Bob, you and I on the podcast about death. We talked about this on the podcast about death.

[B]

Roberta, are you losing your mind after over 100 episodes? Please forgive me if I forgot.

[A]

Do we have 100? Oh, my God. Do we not. We didn't even do a celebratory 100 episodes. Do we have that many?

[B]

I mean, I don't know if it is. I mean, we've been doing them. I don't know how many.

[A]

No, we're like. We're like 80. We're not 100. Oh, my God. We need to find out. We need to have, like, a special 100th episode. I think our hundredth episode should be with RuPaul. We should get him on the show.

[B]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Let's get it.

[A]

RuPaul did my talk show. RuPaul I honestly.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I remember. I honest To God think RuPaul would do our show. You or I should, or both of us should message Theron be like, theron, we are. This is Monet, Xhane, Bob the Drag Queen, two of the fiercest queens from your motherfucking show. You need to do us a solid, as we have done for y' all many a time, and just get Ru to give us 10 minutes to talk.

[B]

I would say maybe go in with a little bit more of an attitude of like, can you help us out? Not being like, let me see what the fuck I've done for your bitch ass show. I would lead in with more like, hey, here's a request. Do you think you can help us with this? Not Monet, honestly.

[A]

I mean, but that's what. Honestly, I think that's what Ruby responded to. Sometimes. Sometimes Rue wants somebody to throw some niggas at him so he can be like, all right, nigga, I got you.

[B]

Ru likes if RuPaul listens to. If RuPaul listens to this episode. He's not doing. He's not doing the fucking show. Wait. Speaking of shit talking, there was this moment that so I. Last night, I watched all of season one of the Comeback. Have you seen the show with Lisa Kudrow?

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

I'm very late to the party. I think the show came out in 2004. I am very late to the party. Monet, this show is so fucking funny. And there's this scene in it, spoiler alert. But Also, it's fully 16 years later, but still, spoiler alert. There's this great scene where she's having this. The big arc, overarching story of the season that she's having this contentious relationship with the head writer and creator of the show. And she goes to bake them some cookies because they're working late. And then she goes, like, she goes to deliver the writers the cookies.

[C]

And.

[B]

And once she gets to the writer room, they're all making fun of her. Like, everyone is just. It's just everyone in the writer's room talking shit about her, making fun of her, making fun of her hair, making fun of her voice, calling her annoying. And she's just standing there with these cookies, like, about to be like, thanks for the hard work. And they're all like, I'm Valerie Cherish. Ooh. And then one of the other writers was pretending to fuck her in the ass while she was, like, being annoying, and she's just looking at it. And I was that. That's how I remember thinking to myself, this feels just like when I told that lady she talks too much. You've honestly never been caught talking shit.

[A]

Tell us what her name rhymes with. Can you just give us. Give us something.

[B]

Her name rhymes with their names. Her name rhymes with this. Take a dance. Let's take a short break.

[A]

Their names. Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[C]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe. Oh, sorry.

[C]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

And we are back. Bob, we only had 65 episodes. Don't you. I feel like we have way more than that. Well, are you. Is Jacob counting the. The family meeting? They're like seven or eight of those.

[B]

Well, Monet wants to know if you're counting the family meetings. I counted everything on Spotify. Went down the. Everything on Spotify. Okay, in. In defense of that terribly low number, we only started doing weekly podcasts during quarantine. So that's what, 42 podcasts a year? We've been doing this for over two years and we have less than 84 podcasts.

[A]

Also. Wait, not 42, bitch. That's that lovely Atlanta school education. 52, baby.

[B]

52.

[A]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

Excuse me. 52 podcasts a week. Shut the fuck up.

[A]

So we haven't done a podcast for three years. 52 times three. That's what. That's 166. We should have that. That's 166 possible episodes. We have 65.

[B]

But we're getting better. We're getting better. We're getting better. We're working very hard, ladies and gentlemen.

[A]

So you did 15 podcasts your first year?

[B]

No, we did 15 podcasts in our first year.

[A]

Eighteen. Your second year?

[B]

Eighteen. The second year. Oh, my God. And our last season, I believe it was 26. No. Oh. With anything? Well, there was also YouTube content. We made a lot of YouTube content that was exclusive to YouTube. That wasn't podcast form. But you know what? That's the past. Not 15 podcasts in a year. That is. That's a little one a month.

[A]

We were getting our feet wet. You were still in fucking Berkeley.

[B]

No, we were getting our toes wet.

[A]

No, we're getting our cuticles wet. All right.

[B]

No, we took our toenails off. Put those in the pool. It came back.

[A]

Bob. Merry Christmas.

[B]

Happy holidays. Thank you so much. I'm not Christian. Please.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Do you remember. Remember a few years ago, like, in the. Not a few years ago, like, the early 2000s, that when Virgin Mobile was like, Poppington, it was. They had that really viral commercial. Happy Chrismahana Kwanzaa T. Do you remember that?

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I do.

[A]

Yeah. I used to say that a lot. I used to say Happy Christmas, Hanafonica. But it's too much. It's too many syllables. Chris.

[B]

Mahana. Kwanzaka is not that hard. I'd say Happy Holidays, actually. Okay, here's a. Let's talk about. Do you believe in the war on Christmas? You remember when Christians were mad at Starbucks for turning into Happy Holidays? Because our cups used to say Merry Christmas. And then one year, holiday, Starbucks made it Happy Holidays. They were like, it's the war on Christmas, girl.

[A]

People. People. People who, like, blindly, like, wrap everything around religion and Christianity. It gets. They get so crazy. Well, I guess it wasn't necessarily just a war. It wasn't Christians. It was people who celebrate Christmas who. Not. Because you don't have to be a Christian.

[B]

Yeah, but. But I think that specifically the Christians were the ones being like, they're attacking Christmas. Because I think secular people who celebrate Christmas are like, girl, whatever is Christmas, you're right. People who blindly wrap their minds around, like, Christmas, religion, iPhones, people who blindly wrap their minds around these kinds of things. It does boggle Me, long story short, I am in support of saying Happy Holidays. I get it. Because not everyone celebrates Christmas.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, like, I mean, I'm not Jewish or. Nor do I celebrate Kwanzaa, nor do I celebrate, you know, any other thing besides Christmas, really. I mean, I do tend to celebrate. I celebrate the holiday season, and I celebrate on the 25th. So, yeah, I guess I do celebrate Christmas, but not with any religion. I do. It's a very secular Christma for me.

[A]

Yeah. Do you used to go home every Christmas? You stopped doing that, though?

[B]

No, I've been home every Christmas. I don't know if I'm going to go this year because of old Rona, but. But I go home. I go home pretty much every. It's like the one. Well, I used to go home every. It's changed. I used to go home once a year on Mother's Day, and then once I started doing Drag Race, started going home more frequently because I was traveling more and I wasn't working so many shows in the city. And I've been home for the past couple of Christmases, but I'll see if I'm going. Are you going? Do you go to St. Lucia on Christmas?

[A]

You know, it's not St. Lucia, so I'll try to play my country.

[B]

I'm sorry. I don't want to upset the Queensland. Have you ever celebrated anything? Have you ever done anything that wasn't a Christmas celebration? Oh, sorry. Let's go back to.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Let's go back to St. Lucia.

[A]

Thank you again.

[B]

I don't want to upset the Queen. The Queen of Saint Lucia.

[A]

Anyway, like I was saying, I've been to Saint Lucia.

[B]

Monet does not want to admit that the Queen is the Queen of Saint Lucia. Will you give her her dues?

[A]

So I have not. It has been a long time in my adult life. I've probably been to St. Lucia once for Christmas and only going to summer because summer, there's, like, carnival going on. It's, like, more stuff to have to do. But I went, like, two years ago, I went to celebrate Christmas in St. Lucia again. And I remember how much I miss it. First of all, St Lucian's West India's period, they love, like, a fete. They love, like, if it's Thanksgiving, if it's Christmas, if it's Independence Day, whatever it is. They have all these parties and stuff, and Christmas is no different. There's like, all these, like, Christmas parties and these crazy. Oh, my God. Also, I Should get this wig. Look at how this would be so cute as a short little bob. Look at that, right?

[B]

No. Oh. The answer is no unless you got bangs and you straighten the hair. But I do not like a wavy bob, personally. Unless you're talking about Renee Zellweger in Chicago. Her hair was really cute as a wavy bob.

[A]

For someone whose name is Bob, you don't wear bobs.

[B]

I mean, I have photo evidence of me wearing bobs here and there around town.

[A]

You have. You know, you used to wear that fucking perfect. Perfect, like kindergarten queen's gambit bob you used to wear all the time. I used to fucking hate that hair on you.

[B]

But which one? What color was it?

[C]

Black.

[A]

It's a black. It's like.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

It's like a perfect little bow on your. On your head. I used to hate that wig.

[B]

I love. I also used to have one in a white that I would wear a little white bob that I would wear. Oh, I need to get that white bob back. That white bob was popping and.

[A]

No, you do not. You do not need to get that back. You need to let that go. Let it go.

[B]

Don't bring it back. Let it go. Thank you, Monet. You know what? Thank you for reminding me. I'm gonna give me an Alexa. Please order me a white bob. Bob shows up.

[A]

I honest, I honestly wish that ordering on Amazon could be that easy. I wish I could say, hey, Siri, order me Kapizio tights. Order me. But it's not. And they make no, it's not that easy, girl.

[B]

See you about to get Capezio showing up to your apartment. There it is. And it's just that easy. Thanks, Amazon. Ding.

[A]

Bob, you and I should develop the next Amazon. We will be multi kajillionaires.

[B]

I actually had this idea, and I don't know how to do it, but so I was looking on Waze, and you can add your voice to Waze. Like, you can add your voice to it.

[A]

My ways is Whoopi.

[B]

But you can add your own voice. Like, you can. It can be you saying certain things.

[A]

Boring.

[B]

So I'm wondering, is there a way to sell your own? There's Amazon. I mean, ways should make a way to sell your own voice to people. We can make so much money if I just record it. If we recorded our voices or if we did a whole drag queen package, you can get Bianca Del Rio going, turn left, cunt. Or you can get Trixie going, oh, honey, turn left.

[A]

You know, that would get so annoying, though, to You.

[B]

But. I bet. But a fan of. I mean, I think that, like, I'm sure that that's maybe because you know Whoopi and not Whoopi, because you know Trixie and you know Bianca. But I'm sure that if you ask Whoopi's kids, they'd be like, I don't want my mama's voice. That's annoying. I want my mama telling me to turn left. Oh, I did have an idea. Yeah? I had an idea for, like, black ways. It would be a bitch, like my mom, and it'd be talking to you, and she'd be like, well, you know, your brother has graduated from high school. You should have turned left back there. You know, your brother should have gradu. You know, you missed that turn. Well, you know, your uncle's got a new job down at the church,

[A]

But.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I haven't been to St. Lucia in a few Christmases, but I have been once in my adult life to go, and it's great. It's a good time.

[B]

Do they believe in Santa Claus and Saint Lucia?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I think Santa Claus is a universal world, international thing. Every country, every people believe in Santa Claus.

[B]

Well, you know, we all see him. A lot of people see him differently. For example, okay, Santa Claus didn't become the image of Santa Claus that we know until Norman Rockwell painted him. You know, Norman Rock, while he paints the sad clowns, he's got the famous painting of him painting himself. Norman Rockwell basically created, like, a Father Christmas character for Coca Cola. And then that became the image, we all know of Santa Claus. The big, fat, jolly guy.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Beard and the cheeks.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[B]

So I think that, like, in Germany, in some places, you know, St. Nicholas is maybe a little trim, but in America, he's this big, fat, jolly guy who's magical.

[A]

One of my favorite Christmas movies growing up, and I used to, like, love this fucking movie, was the Santa Claus. You remember the Santa Claus with Tim Allen?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've seen it a few times where he. Where he, like, become. He inherits the. The throne of Santa Claus and he grows the beard.

[A]

He keeps getting fat. Yeah, it's so good.

[B]

I honestly think that Tim, like, Tim Allen probably made more money from these fucking Santa Claus movies than he made from Home Improvement. I mean, he is really. No, no, no, no, no. Movies are really big.

[A]

Yeah, they're big. But, Bob, when you have a television show like Home Improvement, like King of Queens, like Frasier, Seinfeld, when it gets it's on Nick at night. It's on Dick da da. It's like, these people make money. What's her name? Leah Remini was doing an interview saying, like, people don't understand how much money I have made from King of Queens. Like, if I'm not bragging about how

[B]

rich she is, y' all niggas don't know. She shows her fucking nails. Y' all niggas know what the fuck I got in this piece.

[A]

Bitch, get in a motherfucking syndicated PrimeTime show on ABC, NBC. We're here.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know, honey.

[A]

That's the coin daddas, girl. Is Tim Allen. Is he a Republican?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

He is.

[A]

I fucking knew it.

[B]

Was he rich and white? Probably fucking.

[A]

No. Taylor Swift is rich and white. She's not a Republican.

[B]

Or maybe she just wooing all the way to the fucking polls to fucking vote for. Also, it's kind of funny, the idea that this guy who plays a socialist character like Santa Claus, who is, by the way, is full of socialism, it's damn near communism at this point. I mean, is literally going out and giving things away for free. And it's like, I don't want. But, girl, the old guard of rich Hollywood elite, I mean, is gonna phase out. I think that a lot of the young folks are interested in making sure we all take care of each other the way they do, by the way, in so many countries around the world.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You know what I mean? When did you stop believing in Santa Claus? Or did you ever believe in Santa Claus?

[A]

I did believe in Santa. I think I stopped believing in Santa, like, eight years old. Ish. Because I remember, like, one Christmas, I was like. Because my mom was very. Santa brought you this. Santa did this. Santa. Santa. Santa. And I remember, like, I was like, 8 years old. I'm like, this just doesn't make any sense. I was like, how the fuck. I remember, like, having, like, the conscious thought, like, how the fuck did he get around to everybody who asked for stuff? And like, I was like, I never wrote a letter. I was like, I'm not writing this nigga a letter. So I never wrote a letter. So I'm like, how did he know what I wanted? My mom would just be like, well, he knows.

[B]

He sees you when you're sleeping, and he sees when you're awake, and he knows you've even better. Good. So be good for goodness sake. Like, he knows, right?

[A]

And I was like, that's just. No. And I'm a pretty gullible person, but 8 year old me was like, this is stupid. And also, I remember seeing so many movies about Santa Claus and he looked different in so many movies. I was like, no one fucking can get an accurate picture of what this motherfucker looks like. I was like, this shit ain't real. And then the next year, my mom was like, yes, we bought it for you, but you better take your ass to bed or else Santa still gonna bring me. I'm like, but you just told me he's not real. So what's the tea, girl?

[B]

Also, by the way, you basically just described Jesus. He looks different in every movie. It doesn't make sense. Like, I remember being a kid and being like, ma, is Santa real? She'd go, no, he's not. Like, is Jesus. No, he's real.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I was like, wait. But neither one of them makes sense. Excuse me. Wait, excuse me.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Excuse me. They don't make sense.

[A]

Did your mom tell you and Justin that Santa brought your gifts? And she was like, no, I bought these motherfucking gifts.

[B]

Oh, well, Santa, my mom did a thing where we had presents under the tree and then you would go to sleep. And I remember when I was a kid, I don't even know how my mom did this because we did not have money. But you go to sleep and there'd be like six presents under the tree, and we would wake up and there would be, I mean, overflow, like on the couch, falling. There was so many toys. And I remember thinking myself, like, it really felt so magical to wake up in the morning and see it. Like, the feeling of Christmas as a child is probably one of the most amazing, intense bouts of joy and happiness I think I've ever had in my life, to be honest. Like, waking up on Christmas morning and seeing it pop off in the living room, it just the. It felt different. You. You literally feel like a different person. Waking up in your pajamas, running to go, like, see if the milk and cookies are gone. The cookies are gone, Justin. They're gone.

[A]

Oh, we didn't do that. We didn't do that. We didn't. We didn't.

[B]

Well, your mother knew if she put the cookies down, they wouldn't stand a chance. Your mom had to set up security footage on the cookies.

[A]

Well, I always also, I remember, like, thinking. I was like, then I knew my mom was doing it. I was like, how? And where did she hide all this stuff? Because I would, like, look, and I just don't know where she hid it. Like, I would look in all the closets. I will look in her room. And, like, I just don't know where they all were. It still boggles my mind where my mom.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna call.

[A]

No, it's too late. At her time, she's. Oh, no, she probably. Yeah, I was like, I wanna. Like, where does she keep all of these gifts? I'm gonna call my mom. I don't have a good mic. I can't do it. I'll do it next time on the podcast.

[B]

You know, it is wild, and I think my mom was getting help from my uncle to, like, navigate this whole thing. But when I tell you, like, I'm, like, some of my best memories are waking up and seeing my house overrun with gifts and, like, seeing the cookies disappear and, like, having that bond with my brother where we would, like, be at the. Be at the. And try to be like, wait, is this the real Santa? And we would sit in his lap and we'd look at him, and we. I mean, we would really be, like, inspecting every aspect of his face, and then we leave. We'd be like, justin, that was the real one. And he'd be like, I think it was.

[A]

And we were just like. We were just, like. I immediately saw the real Santa. This is so crazy.

[B]

And we were just, like, so elated. I don't think I have any memories as an adult that were as exciting as Christmas as a child.

[A]

That's not true, Bob. Drag Race. You don't think any of the memories from Drag Race were as exciting as Christmas as a kid? Like, when you, Kim and Naomi were sitting on that thing and you busted to tears, you weren't on the edge of your seat, like, oh, my God, am I gonna get it? Am I.

[B]

Is it gonna be me?

[A]

No.

[B]

Of course it was exciting and it was fun, but it wasn't magical. And there was something, like, magical and beyond my understanding about Christmas that I was like, I literally don't even know how the fuck this happened, because my mom was, like, orchestrating all these things between. I just don't even know how she. I don't even know that I could pull that off as an adult.

[A]

I remember. I remember, like, the night before Christmas Eve, whatever, and then you're like. You're like. You don't want to go to sleep because you're so excited. And you're like. And even though your parents send you to bed, I remember being in my room like, I'm not going to bed. I'm gonna stay up the whole night, bitch. In, like, literally two minutes. Then you wake up the next morning, like, oh, fuck, I fell asleep. Then you run and go.

[B]

I mean, being a is just like seeing the world. The lens of a child is really a gift. Like, I mean, they always say youth is wasted on the young, but, like, basically discovering everything for the first time, like, everything you encounter until you've seen a lot of stuff. It's like, this is my first time seeing this. Or even your second or third time. You're like, I've only. If you're eight, you've only had, what, four coherent Christmases? You know what I mean? And you're like, this is just the most magical, crazy, insane thing. And it's just also, like, just the mysticism. And I remember being a kid and, like, thinking, like, I remember being a kid and genuinely feeling like this. I think I told this during the podcast already. This kid at school named Lawrence, he was gonna bring us these belts that his grandpa made that would turn us into X Men. And I remember being like, I cannot believe I'm gonna be an X Men. Like, I'd be like. I'd be like, this is so crazy. Like, tomorrow, bitch. I'm about to fucking have superpowers. This is gonna be. This is going to be insane. I would just be so excited about going to school the next day. And then, of course, Lawrence showed me, like, oh, I forgot the belts. And I'm like, it's okay. Just bring them tomorrow. And he did this school year for a whole school year. Lawrence told me he was gonna bring me these belts that would make us superheroes. One day, I ran to his grandpa who made the belts, and his grandpa played along. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get the belts to you. But it just. It made it more exciting and more. I mean, I never got the belts, but I was never truly disappointed because it was all about the excitement of eventually getting the belt.

[A]

Well, we need to get Lawrence on the podcast to see where your belt's at. Cause I want you to get your powers. Cause I have mine, and I think you should get yours.

[B]

Well, Lawrence ended up texting me, like, privately on Facebook and was like, I'm gonna start doing drag, girl. Can you. Can you help me out?

[A]

Who do you. Would you gag? He was like, hey, Bob, I'm like,

[B]

run to my belt.

[A]

Can you imagine? He was like, he sent you a random message. Hey, Bob, so I finally got that belt for you. What's your address? I'll ship it to you. And Bob was like, for real? You got the belt? I got the belt.

[B]

Holiday I got the belt. I mean, maybe I should reach out to Lawrence. But I just reveal, like, I can, like, every day. I just. There is something truly magical about being a child and being excited and like, even, like, teenagers, like, just, like, listening when I used to work at the Jekyll and Hyde Club or being a drag race girl. When you walk into a room and a bunch of teenagers just screaming because they're just like, oh, my God, I cannot believe I'm seeing this thing. It's just. And I've certainly become an adult who is. Who is not easy to excite. Unless you're scaring me. This is the weird thing. I scare easily, but not when someone tries to scare me. I only scare when someone, like, appears from around the corner or is sitting in a chair. I didn't realize they were there. That scares the out of me. But as an adult, I've certainly become a lot. I don't want to say jaded, but I probably smile less than most people we know.

[A]

Were your family all about real or fake trees? We had a fake tree. Our tree was faked house. We didn't get no damn real trees. Also don't have real pine trees in St. Lucia. That's not a thing.

[B]

When I was young, we had fake trees, and then we went through a short phase. We were getting real trees. We would go. I think when I lived in Phoenix City, when I was living in Alabama, we would go to the tree farm and pick a tree. And they run it through this. They run it through this tube, and the tube makes it shape like a cone, and it puts a net around it. And then you put it on your car, you drive it home, and then you fluff it out, and then you have just. There's also SAP. You don't realize this. You have to get this little thing at the bottom. It's like a red thing with, like, these.

[A]

And I use the screws.

[B]

Yeah. And you have to fill it with water or else. I don't know if you had to. But we filled with ours with water and then put the treat. The Christmas skirt around it. And that was our way of keeping. But there was, like, a lot of SAP. It's kind of sticky.

[A]

That's too much.

[B]

I prefer. I prefer doing a bakery because it is. You can just pack it up, put it in the closet, bust it out next year. Also, you can get much more creative.

[A]

You can get.

[B]

You can get bigger trees. You can get a massive fake tree for a lot less than a massive real tree. I mean, have you ever Been to the Rockefeller tree?

[A]

No. The Rockefeller Christmas lighting?

[B]

No, no, not at the lighting. But have you ever seen the tree?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

To those of you who don't know, it is. It's huge. It is a. Which I was thinking the other day, you realize for a tree to be that big, that motherfucker is old. So every year they're cutting down one old ass tree. Every year. Every year they're picking a tree that is over 100 years old and chopping it down and it's done. That's. It's a wrap. They don't replant it. It's a wrap for that tree.

[A]

So Mitch is telling us, guys that something has hap. Something happens at a Rockefeller tree this year. I'm gonna try to pull it up. Although I'm in the uk, I don't know if it'll come on.

[B]

Well, what is it? Hold on.

[A]

Rockefeller Tree 2020.

[B]

Oh, so you can only see it for five minutes this year. Apparently it's ticketed. You need tickets? Yes, they've ticketed the tree. You can only see it for five minutes and bitch, keep it.

[A]

It's fucking huge. How you can only see it for five minutes?

[B]

Well, it's not as big as the tree, Norma. Normally the tree just. Y' all know, normally the tree comes from Canada every year and it's like this big ass tree that they like farm. And it's like every year they pick a tree that's like, this is going to be. The Rockefeller Tree is finally going to happen. And this is not a very pretty looking. This is. It's a sad little tree, that tree.

[A]

That tree looks. That tree looks like Monet exchange on season 10 of Drag Race.

[B]

To be honest, to be honest, that tree is a perfect representation of this year. I wouldn't want a full tree. I want a tree that look like it's gone through what I went through this year. I want a tree that looks like it went through the hardest election year we've ever been through. I want a tree that look like it has fought off the. The. The pandemic. I want to treat that. I want a visual representation of the year. So I think that is popping. I've seen the tree before. Again, for those who don't know the tree, it comes from Canada each year. It is huge. Not each year, maybe not easier, but often it comes from Canada is Matt. They drive. It's like a whole ceremony. They drive it down and people would go by to see the. I mean, I've seen It.

[A]

A few times.

[B]

I've never, ever been to a lighting because it's like New Year's Eve in Times Square. You don't. You do not go to New Year's Eve and Times Square. Like, those people would be in there. Like, y' all crazy as hell. Like, who would do this?

[A]

Do you remember working gigs for New Year's Eve? Oh, God. Anyway, but we'll probably do a New Year's Eve episode, so we'll talk about it then. But I have. I have a New Year's Eve gig

[B]

this year while you talking about working new.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I was supposed to do that gig, but I have two shows that day. I was like, there's no way I can do this gig. No way. I'll be too.

[B]

I'm pretty excited about it. I used to do. I used to do Pea House. They would have all the winners.

[A]

Rest in peace, Parliament House.

[B]

Rest in peace. Rest in peace, Parliament House. They used to. They used to hire all the winners for. I think after. I think actually season seven was the last year they had all the winners together because it started to get a little expensive. So then they started having a few of us. So then it was just me and Bianca, and then the next year was just me and Pep. And then. Didn't you do it the next time? No. You did the UK or something?

[A]

Yeah, I did the UK with. Yeah. For Parliament House to have all the winners. Seven winners. That was.

[B]

That is crazy. Yeah, they had all. Girl, they had all of the winners.

[C]

All.

[B]

No. And they had Chad, too. They had eight.

[A]

That's a lot of coins. Girl.

[B]

Girl. There's a famous picture of all the winners together, and then one of them is really drunk. I can't remember who is really drunk. Like, falling over. It's like a messy, messy ass picture, but I can't find it. But it's like a really popular picture of all the winners. And that was the last year. They were like, all right, we're done. It's a wrap on all the winners.

[A]

Well, you know what? Let's take a break, and I'm gonna let Bob tell me who that person was, and I'm gonna tell all of you because I love you, unlike Bob. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[C]

of 45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[A]

Bob, who is it? Was it.

[B]

Okay, wait, I genuinely don't remember. I don't. I mean the pictures on the Internet. I don't. I don't remember. We can show you all the pictures. Picture.

[A]

It was probably jinx or Bianca doesn't get sloppy fall over drunk. Probably.

[B]

Based off the picture, it looks like Sharon is on the. Sharon's on the floor.

[A]

Oh, Sharon. Yes, of course.

[B]

And Raja looks great. And there's. But there's like one specific picture. Anyway, whatever. But I can't find the picture. But whatever. I bet. But it was. It apparently was a wild night.

[A]

What are you doing for a Christmas this year? Your first. Oh my God. It's gonna be your first hot. Well, not your first hot Christmas. You from Atlanta. But this is gonn. But Atlanta Christmas aren't Christmas for you.

[B]

Atlanta Christmas aren't hot. There's just no Snow. It's like 40 degrees.

[A]

No, it's like 50.

[B]

Okay, one of us is from Atlanta and has done a lot of Atlanta Christmases. So thank you.

[A]

Well, you're gonna have like a hot, like, like warm Christmas.

[B]

Well, I will say this one year I remember, I think it was 2005, it was so hot between Christmas and New Year's. I remember being outside with my friends playing football shirt and being like, it is warm.

[A]

So is Atlanta hot or is it not hot? Cause you just said it's hot. So which one is it, bitch?

[B]

Well, I said two things. I said one, that was after Christmas and two, that was Columbus. Why are you talking.

[A]

I was gonna say something. I could have you spiral into this Columbus shit.

[B]

Well, you don't realize that I was born in Columbus, Georgia. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

This is your first time having Christmas. Well, not your first time doing merch in two years. And you opted for a Christmas shirt. Why a Christmas shirt? You could have used that for anything.

[B]

I could use it again after. I just thought it was a really funny idea for Mary Xmas. And the X is my hand. Can we put the image on the screen, Mitch? I just thought it was a really funny idea for a shirt. And you know, I stand by it. It is very funny. And maybe I'll. People are like, can you just Release just the picture on a shirt. And I was like, if y' all really want just a picture of me from a blurry picture of me from a live stre, then yes, I can do that. But I mean,

[A]

I mean, listen, Trixie, literally, she sells anything on a shirt every, I feel like every other day Trixie has a shirt with something of Trixie on a goddamn shirt. And people eat it.

[B]

Yeah, well, she, I mean, she recently just posted this that like her Christmas sweater sold out. And it was like, good luck if you got one whores. Which is like how she talks to her fans. It was like, good luck to the. Congratulations to the whores who were able to purchase this shirt. And I was like, go off. I don't, I mean, I did not sell out of my shirt. So if you want to. Actually, I don't know, maybe I did. I don't think I did. I'm pretty sure I didn't.

[A]

You see, Bob, look at me promoting one of your things again. Look, look.

[C]

Woohoo.

[A]

Look who, look who had forgot to promote their shirt. And look who stepped in and get the promoter for them.

[B]

I did not forget. We haven't reached that part of the show yet.

[A]

Monet. You're welcome.

[B]

Thank you, Monet. I appreciate it. It's very kind of you.

[A]

Are you gonna, Are you looking to start any Christmas, Any la Christmas traditions?

[B]

I don't really do traditions, to be honest. I just never been a traditional.

[A]

You love traditions. You started the tradition of Friends giving at your house every Thanksgiving. It's for three years.

[B]

You're calling it a tradition? I was, I mean, I was doing it, but it wasn't like ye old. The annual Friends giving though.

[A]

It was three years in a row. That's literally the third annual Friends Giving at Bob's house.

[B]

So what, I mean, calling it that, I was just inviting people over on Thanksgiving because I was like, I mean, I guess that is how traditions start. But I mean, it only lasted three years and I moved to la. So what's good?

[A]

Oh my God. If you have another one next year with your little LA Friends girl, maybe. Shut my mind.

[B]

You're invited. What you gonna do?

[A]

I don't wanna come.

[B]

Well then, I mean. Well, what do you. I invited you, Monae. Now you just. You're being nasty for no reason. Such a nasty woman. Such a nasty.

[A]

Do you know, do you know Carol of the Bell? Did you see that in school?

[B]

Look at you. I did not sing Carol LaBelle, but I, but I do know the song I used.

[A]

I, I, I discovered Carol LaBelle's in Home Alone. Home Alone was one of my again. Another Christmas movie I loved as a kid. Grim. I think every kid did from our time, at least. Anyway, I have a question.

[B]

What Christmas please come home in parentheses is better than all I want for Christmas is you,

[A]

the baby, please come home.

[B]

You know that one. You're there singing Deck the Halls, but it's not like Christmas. It. Oh, that is a. I was listening to it, and I was like, damn, this really is a bop.

[A]

A new good one is the Kelly Clarkson one. Kelly Clarkson's original. Her Christmas song, that famous one. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[B]

Nar.

[A]

Kelly Clarkson has, like, a famous Christmas song.

[B]

Do you remember this? I want $1,200. Five months free. Ren.

[A]

It's a great song.

[B]

You don't know five months free rent. You don't know that song?

[A]

No. Underneath the tree. Kelly Clarkson as it is. The new Christmas song. It's so good.

[B]

I still can't believe you don't know the 12 hood days of Christmas. That is crazy.

[A]

No, that's some south Decatur Southern mess.

[B]

No, this is a. Like, everyone knows this song. No, everyone knows monetary. What you gonna get her for Christmas? And what you gonna get her at? Yeah, what you gonna get her for Christmas? I said, what you gonna get there?

[A]

Boy, that is so country and like Atlanta. That is literally in the north. We would never. Honey.

[B]

Okay, sure, sure. Jan, that song is amazing. I want you to listen. Listen to what the things are getting. It's really great. Just for a second. Ready? That is a great. It's a classic. It's a classic.

[A]

As you. As you start to mature and you start to, you know, revel in your blackness more, I feel.

[B]

Excuse you. I said mature. Excuse you. Wow.

[A]

Shay, do you. Do you ever see Kwanzaa becoming, like, a part of your holiday traditions?

[B]

I tried it, and I don't think it's for me. I've more power to people who do Kwanzaa. I mean, I barely celebrate Christmas because for me, the reason why I celebrate Christmas is because it is minimal effort. Effort is one day. Honestly, I don't have to, like. There's no candles. There's no memorizing. There's no. I did a. I did a. I did a Passover once, and it is like. It is a lot of stuff you have to say and remember and do, and Christmas doesn't really ask anything of you. You just give out gifts and you're done. There's a.

[A]

No.

[B]

There's no colors you have to wear no candles. No, it's just Christmas is the easiest one. A secular Christmas. I want to reiterate that a secular Christmas is just the easiest thing for me to celebrate.

[A]

Do you know the seven principles of Kwanzaa Umaja?

[B]

And I don't. The answer is no, I don't.

[A]

Umoja nia, Imani, Kujujakalela.

[B]

You're just naming your cousins at this point. You're literally just naming your cousins.

[A]

That is so rude. No, umoja kuchujakalela, imani dia.

[B]

Okay, I'll name them. Okay. They are Umoja, kujujakalea, Ujima Ujama, Kumba Imani.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what that boils down to is self determination, collective work, cooperative economics, purpose,

[A]

creativity, and purpose and creativity. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, Kwanzaa sounds like the principles and everything. Like, what it stands for is really great. But what I understand is that a lot of the gifts are supposed to be, like, made or, like, things from the earth and stuff like that, as opposed to, like, PS5s and wigs and jewelry. It's about, like, making gifts and, like, giving things from the earth from, like, the world.

[B]

I'm not knocking Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or a Christian Christmas at all. I just don't do them. I've been doing a secular Christmas my whole life.

[A]

One of my favorite Sabrina the Teenage Witch episodes.

[B]

And not.

[A]

Not the new Sabrina, not the GRIMM, like the old 90s 2000 Sabrina was when she erases Christmas. And it's such a good episode. Were you a Sabrina watcher? I love Sabrina.

[B]

I mean, yeah, but for some reason, I used to mix up Sabrina with Clarissa. Explains it all. I don't know what it was, but those shows just kind of became one in my head. It's really weird.

[A]

Are you joking? It's the same actress.

[B]

Is it really? Is it Melissa? Does Melissa Joan Hart do both of those?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, well, that's why. Yeah. I'd be like. I would think to myself, she went upstairs with this cat, and then once she went upstairs, the ladder would land, and then the guy would come upstairs, and then her sister. Then her aunts were witches. It all became one show.

[A]

Oh, my God. Honestly, the best part of the old Sabrina was Hilda. Hilda was so funny. Fucking funny. Caroline Rae.

[B]

Wait, tell me. You know about the story when Free met Caroline Rae.

[A]

Yes, I did hear the story before.

[B]

So to the fans who have not heard it, Free is a friend of ours who's a little bit of a. Who's a little grumpy Everyone who knows Freeze, Freeze, Eeyore. Kind of, like, sad and a little grumpy, but also a great person to be around and really fun and a great seamstress.

[A]

He got so good at sewing so fast.

[B]

Yeah, really great. Really great. So he would do this thing where he. Caroline Ray was like, oh, my. He saw her. I was like, you're Caroline Ray. Then she goes, hi. How are you? No. She goes, hi. He goes, you're Caroline Ray? She goes, yeah, my name is Caroline Ray. He goes, I just told you that. I know. And then Caroline Ray was like, oh, do you want a picture? And he was like, like, sure. So she goes, well, grab your phone. Let's take a picture. Then they took this picture, which is, like. It is, like, cropped. We can get the picture here. It's cropped so poorly because I don't think Free cared about taking the picture. And then what made it even funnier was that Mateo drew the picture.

[A]

Oh, my God. Mateo is so ridiculous.

[B]

It was. It was really a brilliant moment. But, like, that was a great moment of Free meeting Caroline Ram. It was pride. It was on Pride, too.

[A]

I do hate when people. When you're out, and then, like, someone be like, like, oh, this is Monet. And the person like, oh, my God, I love her. And then. And then the person who says this, Monet will be like, do you want to take a picture? Like, they'll say to the person, do you want to take a picture? So then the person feels obligated to be like, yeah. I'm like, what if the person did all that?

[B]

You mean the person? You mean the person person? The person you're with?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Don't be offering up my pictures. Because then they'd be like, I mean, I didn't really want. No, I don't. I didn't want one. Right, right. I'm like, if they want the picture, they'll ask. That's just annoying. That is annoying as hell.

[A]

Do you want. Do you want a picture?

[B]

The person's like, yeah. I'm like, don't ask. I'm actually. I'm actually running late. But if. If it would. If it would help Monet's ego, then I'll take a picture. Would she be sad if I. If I say no? Is she a sad person? Typically speaking. Okay, I'll do it.

[A]

I hate that. I hate that. Hate, hate, hate that.

[B]

I think I've told this on the podcast before, and I know it's probably our last story. You have to go. But we were. Me and Monet would go see hello Dolly. I bought the wrong tickets.

[A]

Sue me.

[B]

But me and Monet were leaving the theater, and then someone said, oh, my God, are you Monet X Change? And then Monet Singh said, oh, no, I get that. I get that a lot. And they were like, wait, are you Bob the Drag Queen? And I was like, yes. And they were like, but that's not Monet. And I was like, well, apparently not.

[A]

Oh, my God. Really quick, someone today, Patty and I were out in the street doing whatever, and this boy and this girl, they're walking past us. And Patty and I continue our business, and they come back. She goes, oh, my God, you're monetized. And I was like, no, I'm not. She was like, but you look just like her. I was like, I get that often. I was like, but I'm not Monet. She's like, okay, well, have a good night. And then, bitch, I came back home and checking my. She sent me a dm. And she was like, you lied to me.

[B]

I mean, that is shady, Monet. That's very shady. It's a lie.

[A]

It's outside, it was cold, and we were in a rush. And then. You know what I mean? But I'll see her.

[B]

I will say again, the only time I say no to pictures is if I'm at the A nightclub, and I've already done a gig and a meet and greet there, because it seems shady to the promoter to be giving out free pictures. And also, if it's early at the airport, I'm going to say no. If it's like 6am at the airport.

[A]

No, no, I wouldn't say no to that. I just. It's all situational sometimes. What? Like, it is what it is.

[B]

I mean, I haven't been in any other. There are probably some other stories where I would say no, but typically speaking, I'm usually like, sure. And then I do this sometimes. And the worst, when they go, bob,

[A]

do not pretend like you be smiling. You do not be smiling.

[B]

I didn't just smile. I did this. I don't know what smile you saw.

[A]

You don't even give a smirk.

[B]

No, I do every picture. Can I take a picture? I go, sure. And they always go. Sometimes they go, can you smile? And I'm like, you get the picture. You get what you get.

[A]

I keep telling you to smile.

[B]

They say, it's like he smiles. I'm like, you get what you get? Anyway, Monet, good luck out in the streets. People know who you are. Now, if anyone's Listening to this podcast. Monet is in London. That is her. If you wanna know if it's Monet, look at the hand tattoos. Look at the hand tattoos that will confirm.

[A]

Oh, my God. And I'm gonna get this bob. I'm gonna get a bob like this, cut short like this, and blue and send to you. And human hair.

[B]

And we're human. Well, happy holidays, everyone. Monet, I love you very much and. Oh, my God, are you gonna be in the UK for Christmas?

[A]

Bitch, I'm here for literally the rest of my life, apparently. I'm here for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Year's. I'm here for Boxing Day. I'm here for Martin Luther King Day. I live here. I've moved.

[B]

Which are all holidays. They don't celebrate in the UK Boxing Day.

[A]

They do. They do boxing.

[B]

No, they. No, that's like. That's Canada. But I love you. All right, bye, Monet.

[A]

No, Boxing Day is in the UK, baby.

[B]

I think Ms. Canadian Mom, I'm telling you, it's not.

[A]

It's a UK thing. Oh, my God. Let's fucking bet on it.

[B]

Let's get a fact checker. Monet, you already owe me thousands of dollars for my bets.

[A]

Well, this $5,000 was gonna erase that, because I know I'm right.

[B]

Boxing Day is originated in the United Kingdom. But wait, thank you so much. But do they separate it in Kingdom? Well, they celebrate it in Canada is all I'm saying.

[A]

All right, well, you have a. Happy Holidays. To all of you guys out there, Happy Holidays. And be nice to people. If you have an extra dollar or two, give it to someone who needs it. Like, you know, just be nice. Be.

[B]

You can give other things and money, you can give time, you can give resources, you can give extra. All right. Wow. Jacob doesn't want us to promote charity. Jacob's telling us, wrap it up. So if anyone to wants. If you can't donate or give charities because Jacob doesn't want you to. All right, bye, everyone.

[C]

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