The One About the Military

Summary

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Sibling Rivalry – "The One About the Military"

Date: July 6, 2022
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob the Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Monét X Change and Bob the Drag Queen dive into a frank, hilarious, and at times emotional conversation centered around the U.S. military, patriotism, and the complex feelings that come with American holidays like the Fourth of July. The duo discusses their personal backgrounds—Monét as a St. Lucian New Yorker, Bob growing up in a Georgian military town—and explores topics from military symbolism and America's problematic global reputation to Black identity, Juneteenth, and the quirks of regional and personal upbringings. As always, their trademark banter and playful ribbing keep the tone lively even when the topics get real.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Complicated Feelings About Patriotism and July 4th

• Bob confides: The Fourth of July is hard to celebrate, especially as they've become more conscious of America's history and global actions (04:39).
• Monét on flag imagery: "When you go to different towns ... and you see a bunch of people with fucking American flags, I'm like ... Put these goddamn flags down. I feel uncomfortable..." (04:50)
• Bob on patriotism: "Questioning your country and wanting to improve it ... is probably the most patriotic thing you can actually do." (05:25)

2. American Military, Nationalism, and Myths

• Bob acknowledges being from a military town (Fort Benning, Georgia), witnessing heavy displays of nationalism, and understanding the unique sense of pride in those who serve (05:25–05:53).
• Monét shares a disturbing anecdote of a U.S. soldier recounting atrocities in Afghanistan, confronting the reality that America is viewed as a “terrorist” nation by many (06:23–07:42).
• Bob offers clarification: Not everyone in the military risks their lives; there’s a misconception in equating all service members with frontline risks (07:42).

“Everyone in the military does not risk their lives ... But that is a very popular ideology amongst Americans, I feel.” — Bob (07:42)

3. The Hosts’ Upbringings: North vs. South, Civics, and Culture

• Monét’s perspective: Her Caribbean family didn’t really celebrate the Fourth of July, and she always felt detached from overt American patriotism (09:16).
• Bob’s upbringing: Pledge of Allegiance was a daily ritual from kindergarten through high school in his Georgia schools; Monét barely remembers doing so in Brooklyn (10:44–12:12).
• Standardized testing differences: Discussion on ITBS in Georgia versus Regents exams in New York, showing contrasts in educational environments (13:25–14:31).

4. The Realities of Military Service

• Bob briefly considered joining the Army but felt excluded by the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy and a physical disqualification (“feet too flat”) (17:21).
• Monét jokes about joining the military band and the audition process, keeping tone light (16:15–16:33).

“I don't think you audition for the military.” — Bob (16:24)

5. Fourth of July Firework PTSD

• Both reminisce about the endless pandemic-era fireworks in New York City, with Monét experiencing a flashback during the latest July 4th (19:13–21:59).

6. Juneteenth: Discovery, Recognition, and Commercialization

• Bob only learned of Juneteenth as an adult, despite a relatively Black-history-conscious education in Georgia (36:40).
• They note recent commercialization of Juneteenth, with branded ice creams and decor in big-box stores stirring discomfort (45:40–46:17).
• Bob on the “Happy Juneteenth” dilemma: He’s not offended if white people say it, but understands why others might be; Monét feels less comfortable with it (47:18–47:37).

“If a white person came up to me and said, ‘Happy Juneteenth,’ I'd be like, nigga, don't tell me Happy Juneteenth. It just doesn't feel the same...” — Monét (46:10)

7. Food, Regionalisms & Humorous Tangents

• Donut arguments, NY/NJ food culture: Sidecar Donuts, Junior’s cheesecake, family quirks around tuna fish, debate about American city ethnic “authenticity” (Italy/Boston/NYC)—all serve as comic relief and personal color throughout (19:33–23:39, 38:03–42:42, 48:48–52:01).
• Iconic Bob quote about Lady Bunny: “What an odd person. None of this makes sense. None of it.” (44:06)
• Regional pronunciations: “Buena Vista” mispronounced as “Buena Vista” in Georgia, “DeKalb” vs. “Decab” (24:07–24:33).

8. Monkeypox & COVID: Caution in the Queer Community

• Monét warns about the prevalence of monkeypox among friends: “...They are covered from head to toe in lesions and ...it's really crazy out here.” (32:06–33:27)
• Bob reminds how he’s always hated hugging strangers at drag conventions, which Monet previously ridiculed (34:11–34:49).

9. Gender, Body Image & Drag Aesthetic

• Debate over breastplates, pec implants, and drag-queen physiques ties in to body acceptance, self-image, and queer identity (59:52–61:33).
• Bob’s wisdom: “Let your body be happy. Let your body be what it wants to fucking be... When I eat something and... I feel good about my life and I feel good about myself, that's when I am my happiest.” (61:35–62:34)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (w/Timestamps)

• On patriotism:

  “Questioning your country and wanting to improve it ... is probably the most patriotic thing you can actually do.” (05:25) — Bob

• On America's international image:

  “We look like terrorists to everyone else, and we’re doing terrorist activity, period, in other countries.” (07:01) — Monét

• Childhood rituals:

  “From kindergarten until the day I graduated high school, I said the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag every single day.” (10:48) — Bob

• About Lady Bunny:

  “What an odd person. None of this makes sense. None of it.” (44:06) — Bob

• Body positivity:

  “Let your body be happy. Let your body be what it wants to fucking be.” (62:34) — Bob

• Comedic moments:

  “If I was a woman ... I would have had my tits out all the time just to piss men off. I would walk around everywhere with my tits out.” (58:59) — Monét

• On Juneteenth commercialization:

  “It's the freedom for me.” (46:08) — Monét

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 04:39 — Difficulties celebrating Fourth of July as out-and-proud Black Americans
• 05:25–07:42 — Nuanced views on patriotism, nationalism, and military service
• 10:44–12:12 — Differences in childhood rituals (southern vs. northern school practices)
• 19:13–21:59 — Firework PTSD in NYC and living through the pandemic
• 36:40–37:11 & 45:22–47:19 — Discovery and commercialization of Juneteenth
• 32:06–34:49 — Monkeypox warning and pandemic flashbacks
• 59:52–62:34 — Gender, body image, and being content in your skin
• 44:06 — Bob’s viral Lady Bunny quote

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Memorable Banter & Inside Jokes

• Military Band Auditions: “If I’m enlisting, bitch, I’m enlisting in the band.” — Monét (16:24)
• Fireworks in lockdown: “...forever to me. It felt like way too long to me.” — Bob (21:47)
• On non-traditional weddings: The “feed myself my own cake” bride at a rustic wedding (64:31)
• Bob’s “tiny head” paranoia and “multiverse of madness” jokes (25:04, 53:55)
• Ongoing shade about food, touchiness, and regional culture

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Conclusion

Bob and Monét craft an episode that’s both classic Sibling Rivalry—sharp, funny, sometimes raunchy—and deeply thoughtful. Their reflections on America, identity, and the military are personal, incisive, and resonant, while their tangents about food, culture, and drag are as entertaining as ever. The episode stands out for its balance of cultural critique, Black queer perspective, and uncompromising honesty, all delivered in their signature chemistry and irreverence.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[A]

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[B]

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[C]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen

[A]

and I'm Monet X Change. And this is simply rivalry. On today's episode, we find out if I would ever have a rustic wedding.

[C]

We talk about the military.

[A]

And we find out what made Bob the Drag Queen say this.

[C]

What an odd person. None of this makes sense. None of it. And we found out what made Monet X Change. Say this.

[A]

I want like fucking, like big fucking like fucking 38 Cs on my goddamn chest. Well, to match me, I probably need some Ds. Probably a 38 D, Y'. All. I just came on the podcast and Bob has some tea and I'm drinking some too, and mine is piping cold.

[C]

What I said was, when I said, how you doing? I said, I'm a little annoyed with my. I'm filming, we're here. And I said, I'm a little annoyed with myself. To which Monet responded, oh, what's the tea? Did Shangela do it? And I said, I'm annoyed with myself.

[A]

But you can be annoyed with yourself that Shangela did something that you didn't react to. You know what I mean? Like there, there, there's, there's, there's levels to self.

[C]

That is a possibility.

[A]

Myself,

[C]

I'm annoyed because I brought this microphone, which is the microphone that I normally use to record on the road with. And I love this microphone and it's a great travel microphone. And then. But I was like, I'm going to be extra. And I bought my really nice microphone which I usually only use in the in home studio. And I was, that's what I want to do.

[A]

Which you Got these because of me. Anyway, continue.

[C]

Actually, I got these because a friend of mine named Derek, who works on. We're here in the sound department, came to my home and we did a whole consultation to set up my podcasting studio. Because he's one of the sound guys here.

[A]

Well, you know how he sits back in New York. And I was trying to tell you about these in New York, but you didn't listen to me. You know, to be fair to your point, why would you listen to me? But, you know.

[C]

Yeah, you're not a sound professional. This guy was a professional. Anyway, so I do. I am intrigued in the way that you found a way to center yourself in this story. Anyway, I bought these two microphones, but all of my cords are still back in.

[A]

Oh, you told me that Los Angeles. Got it.

[C]

So I'm using my laptop microphone today.

[A]

Wow. The crunch continues. Hunty. How you doing, Roberta?

[C]

Pretty good. I had rehearsals today. Yesterday was indeed the 4th of July.

[A]

And it was a wide for you. Like, be on. On set or just you emotionally. Well, wait, also, I hear, like, music in your background.

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay, well, it stopped now, but I was just hearing, like, some type of

[C]

sound that is music from your private residence. That. There's no music happening here.

[A]

Well, there's nothing happening here. But wait, hold on.

[C]

There is definitely no music over my side.

[A]

No, I don't hear it anymore.

[C]

All right. Maybe if you lift your earphone, you'll hear the music. Maybe it's in the house. Lift your earphones.

[A]

There isn't.

[C]

Oh, it's also on that. Anyway, there's no music here anyway.

[A]

No music. No music. Don't be sick.

[C]

The Fourth of July is a rough holiday for me. And, you know, it's just really. It's really interesting. I have a hard time celebrating it like I used to.

[A]

Oh, yeah, for sure. As I've come into consciousness as a grown ass adult person and learning more about America and learning more about the world and how things have functioned and what things really are. Like, it is really hard to stomach that shit and to fucking celebrate that shit. And when I see. When you go to different towns, as you and I often do do for work, and you see a bunch of people with fucking American flags, I'm like, what the. Put these fucking flags away. Put these fucking. Take these goddamn flags down. I feel uncomfortable when I walk into a town and their houses are just adorned in American flags. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Like, that shit is scary.

[C]

Well, I'm actually from a military town. So I saw a lot of American flags growing up, and I. I think that one of the things that really kind of boggles my mind is that in my opinion, you know, questioning your country and wanting to improve it and acknowledging its downfalls is probably the most patriotic thing you can actually do.

[A]

100%. I agree. I agree with that sentiment. I also. And with the exception of military towns, like, when I. Cause I get it, you know, these men and women who risk their lives for home and country, like, I get it. Like, they. I think that they have a different sense of nationalism when you are literally. Are flown to another country and you are literally putting your life on the line for people back at home. Like, I understand what that means to them and how that could be different to me. And, you know, but I was watching this video of this fucking American soldier and they had him blacked out. And he was talking to the camera to hide his identity and just talking about the atrocities that some of these American soldiers have committed in other countries, like Afghanistan to the civilians there. And when I tell you, I was tearing up thinking of how these people can go to these countries and commit such heinous crimes as in rape on children and women and just talk about it so freely to the camera. And again, I guess he's not talking freely. Cause he's covering his identity. But, you know, it made me think of this video I saw one time of this woman, this ex CIA agent saying, you know, Americans that watch the news and to ourselves, we seem like we are like. We're like we're so great and we're out to save the. And we're out to save the world. But when other countries look at us, they see terrorists, they see monsters, they see people who go into other countries, rape and pillage people and then boast about it and act like they're. Act like we're saving everyone else. And that really hit home for me. I was like, yeah, bitch, we look like terrorists, everyone else, and we're doing terrorist activity, period, in other countries.

[C]

I also want to say it is a slight misinformation. This. I'm probably going to get a little canceled for this. And I'm from a military town, but everyone in the military does not risk their lives. But there's this idea. It's like whenever you see someone, it's like, thank you for risking your life. So whenever you see someone in military, the idea is that this person has. Has put their life on the line. And there are lots of people. There are people in the military who do Especially if you're an infantry. Especially if you're in the Marines, which is all infantry. But everyone in the military does not risk their lives in the military. But that is a very popular ideology amongst Americans, I feel.

[A]

Well, when I say racialized, I mean people who are on the front lines. I'm not talking about people who may be in offices or literally doing clerical work or. My friend Julius, he was in the Navy for a six year, but he was in the Navy, Van. He literally flew around America and different parts of the world to perform for soldiers and at the White House and stuff like that. He was not putting his life in the line in any. By any means, but he was a part of the Navy. So when I say these people who were skilled, I mean people who are actually on the front lines, who are actually flown to fight, that's what I'm referring to.

[C]

So, anyway, Fourth of July is really an interesting holiday for me. And it is. We did another one. Another Fourth of July.

[A]

Yeah. I don't. Did you. I mean, I would say my family, we never grew up celebrating Fourth of July. Right. My family is Saint Lucian. So, you know, like, we never grew up celebrating, like, how a lot of Americans do. Like, how they would get together and, like. But again, I don't think I know anyone in my friend circle or. I don't think I know people who actually celebrate the Fourth as opposed to friends who would. I mean, I guess if you invite people over for a barbecue, that's quote, unquote, celebrating the Fourth. But I didn't know anyone in my life who was like, yeah, on the 4th of July, America. And I'm still like, I'm proud to be an American. Well, at least I know I'm free. I pledge allegiance to the flag. I don't know anyone like that in my life. And, you know, and I. Yeah. Do you. Do you know people who, like, celebrate the Fourth of July like that?

[C]

Again, I am from Georgia. I am from Fort Benning. I'm from military town. My godfather was a drill sergeant in the U.S. army. So, yeah, there are a lot. I have a lot of people in my life who. Who are. Who celebrate America, and a lot of people I went to college with. So, yeah, there's a lot of people out there in my life. Not. Not everyone in my immediate family, but I do have people in my family who are very adamant about celebrating, like, America like that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we also used to. I mean, wake up. We used to. We used to pledge allegiance to the flag every single day. At school.

[A]

I'm trying to think.

[C]

You pled allegiance to the flag.

[A]

That's what I'm trying to say. We did it every day.

[C]

I mean from, from, from, from kindergarten until the day I graduated high school, I said the pledge of Allegiance to the flag every single day.

[A]

You know, my memory's bad. So this would definitely be a clip

[C]

walk Monday through Friday.

[A]

No, you did that shit on Saturday and Sundays too. Ms. Martha Caller made you. Made you adjust in pledge of leading to the flag on your knees.

[C]

My mother did. That's not how. That's not how. You don't pledge allegiance on your knees. You're supposed to stand to pledge allegiance. Actually pledge allegiance on your knees.

[A]

Kamika, question. Because we went to elementary and middle school together, in high school, we definitely did not pledge allegiance to the flag. Well, like that was not a thing. But I can't remember. Maybe middle school we did, but I don't have memories of. I mean, I think I do. I don't know. Bitch. I don't know. Bitch. Invader of the body snatchers. I think we did in middle school, but I don't fully remember, to be honest.

[C]

You can remember you at the glory hole, but you can't remember whether or not you did the.

[A]

Because that was fine.

[C]

Every day.

[A]

That was fine, honey. That was good.

[C]

We also did a moment of silence for prayer. So there was no forced prayer. But every morning you wake up, you do the Pledge of Allegiance and then you do a moment of silence so that people can pray if they wanted to. In elementary school we did. My country tis of thee, into the American flag every morning in Amish school. Every morning.

[A]

Wait, did you say every morning in Amish school? What did you say? Every morning in what school?

[C]

Elementary. Elementary school.

[A]

Got it. Yeah.

[C]

Every morning. My country tis of the sweet land of indoctrination of the ic. And then into the Pledge of Allegiance into a moment of silence.

[A]

Yeah, bitch. No, Brooklyn wasn't having that. Brooklyn. That is.

[C]

No, that is why I guess that's

[A]

how different the south and the north are. Maybe, maybe it's just my school's thing, but can anyone from New York state or like up or north of the Mason Dixon comment if you. Because I in high school. Absolutely not. But also I went to like, I went to an artsy. Bitch. I didn't start school until like 9:00am where people was at school by the 6:00am everywhere else. And we fully left our school at 1:00 clock and went to do arts for two hours. Like in a different part of the Class.

[C]

Who's in School at 6am?

[A]

I'm not. People who used to have to get. Who used to be at school by 6am cause you would have pre. You would have pre. Yeah, you would have. Cause New York City had a mandate about something. Something about, like, to get. Because. Okay. Did y' all have standardized tests in. In. In Atlanta, like, in New York State, you had to take the Regents. Did y' all have, like, something like that, you, like, in a subject?

[C]

In middle school, everyone used to take the ITBS test. Itbs, which was the Iowa Test of Basic Skills.

[A]

Iowa.

[C]

And then. Yeah, it was called the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. It was the ITBS test. And I believe everyone in the nation. I might be a little older than you. I think the ITBS test stopped being a thing by the time you were in middle school, but. And then everyone used to take the ITBS test.

[A]

Oh, I don't think so. I don't think my brother. New York is different. My brother never did that. He did the Regents. The Regents were. I think they still do the Regents in New York. The Regents Test. And it was in the subject, like, you had to do it in earth science, in biology, in math, and da, da, da, da. You had to do it. It was not a New York State thing for sure.

[C]

Apparently, in 2005, Chicago schools stopped doing the ITBS test, and now it's called the ITED. The Iowa test of Educational Development. I mean, obviously. I don't know. I mean, yeah, we saw this. Every year. Every year in middle school, you take that CBS test. Like, every year you take it.

[A]

Yeah, we didn't do that. So. So, yeah, so somebody will have to come in early because you could get to take classes if you, were, like, behind in it to help you, like, pass it. So you, you know, like, whatever. But, yeah, some people used to have to be at school, like, very early. That means you're leaving your house. That means you're up at, what, 5am to leave your hub. But I don't know. That wasn't me.

[C]

Everyone. Everyone had to be there.

[A]

Not everyone.

[C]

It's not mandated. It's like, extracurricular or something.

[A]

Yeah. To help you pass the regions. Because if you didn't pass the regions, then you couldn't go into the next grade. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, but we. So. Yeah, so. Yeah, but we high school. That is crazy. In Georgia, you had to do all of that. Like, they were indoctrinating y' all niggas. They were like, y' all gonna be American as hell.

[C]

I Don't know that it's all of Georgia, but I grew up in Columbus, Georgia, which is literally like, we were at a. It was. Fort Benning is like one of the biggest military bases in America. It is the home of the infantry, the home of the birds. You know, the infantry is. The infantry is. Is basically people who are battling on the front lines. What you would call the front lines. That's what the infantry is. And there was a lot, a long while where the most infantry soldiers were trained in Fort Benning. And it's also the home of the Rangers, the Airborne Rangers. And Airborne Rangers are the people who jump out of planes. Airborne Rangers are the people who jump out of planes. And it was basically the only place where you could get airborne training in the army was at Fort Berry. So I grew up in a really big. In a really big military town.

[A]

If you had to be in the military, what branch would you want to be in? I want to be in the band. I'm like, if. I'm like, if I'm auditioning, I'm going to be in the band.

[C]

I don't think you audition for the military.

[A]

You know what? If I'm enlisting, bitch, I'm enlisting in the band.

[C]

If I'm going to do military tryouts, I'm gonna sing a selection from the Magic Flute and hello.

[A]

Oh, my God, Bob, I love it when you sound so dirty to me. You know stuff about opera against my fucking pussy quivering.

[C]

I'll tell you what branch of the military I'd be in when we get back. I feel like I. I mean, I remember I had a slight moment in time where I wanted to join the army, but it just didn't work out for me.

[A]

Do you want to elaborate more on that? The ones that bother wanting to overshare. But, like, I maybe one time went into the army, but I just didn't. Bitch. Share, bitch. You want the podcast? Why. Why you gonna do it?

[C]

To quote RuPaul, I don't see how that's any of your business. No, I.

[A]

When did he say that?

[C]

RuPaul always says, when you ask RuPaul always, like, a funny answer is, I don't see how that's any of your business. Well, I. My feet are too flat, which used to be a thing. Also, don't ask, don't tell was not repealed when I was. When I was of age to want to join the military.

[A]

Rewind. What do you mean your feet were too flat? They check your. Your, Your. Your. The flatness of your feet when you Audition when you enlist.

[C]

Yeah, you. When you. When you. When you go to work, when you go to military rehearsals and when you put on your costume for tryouts. No. If you want to, there is a physical fitness test to join the infantry. And you can't have flat feet. Or at least you're not. You used to be able to have it. I think that that's how it used to be. I don't know if it's that way.

[A]

If they send a giraffe, honey. My feet black. I think it is a black thing. A lot of my black friends have flat feet. White people don't be having flat feet, bitch. Jacob arches go from the. Go from. Go from the floor to fucking heaven. Jacob over here walking on fucking. On fucking curve balls.

[C]

Jacob does have severely arched feet. And I do have very flat feet. It might be a black thing. I don't know.

[A]

Everyone in my. Okay, do more people in your family have flat feet? Because pretty much everyone in my family has flat feet. My brother, my aunt, everyone.

[C]

My brother doesn't have flat feet. My cousin Amanda has very flat feet. Like if I step in paint and plop down, it's an oval with some bitch.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

There's no little curve on my right. Straight up oval.

[A]

Your cousin the man is giving La cianna Boulevard as. You didn't watch, fam. You weren't. But all the kids out there, who they get that wrath. You're welcome.

[C]

Not the rich kids.

[A]

Shut the fuck up.

[C]

Not the rich kids. Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Bitch. Always speaking of. So I home for a day and a half. And I was home last night for fourth of July. I finally got a minute to be home for more than 12 hours. And when I tell you I was in sweet ecstasy, bitch. I went to fucking Prince Street Pizza. I got my slice of Prince Street Street Pizza. Then I went to Bob. You and I. I had to take it to. Have you been to Sidecar Donuts yet?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, when we're home together, I'm going to blow your fucking pussy apart. Okay, bitch. Sidecar Donuts. Bob is going to change your life. Anyway, so I was home.

[C]

Well, what's so great? What's so great about Sidecar Donut? Do you want to elaborate? Well, here's a question. Is it those. I don't like those wacky donuts.

[A]

It's not wacky donuts.

[C]

I only like. I. I only like original glazed donuts. I don't want frosting. I don't want sprinkles. I don't want filling. I don't Want Lucky Charms.

[A]

I don't want gummy Bears. It's not crazy donuts. They're.

[C]

They're, for example, corn flakes and shit faces.

[A]

I had the other half of my donut right here. Let me tell you, this is the old fashioned donut. It's just a regular schmegular donut. Bob, when I tell you it is just gonna change your life, I can't wait to take it. Anyway, so I did that yesterday and then. And then I came home and yesterday was the actual fourth of July. And do you remember? And I was triggered because there were so many fireworks going off all night long. Do you remember last year or the last year we were both in New York City, 2020 year with all the fucking fireworks from like. It was like fireworks every day from like 9pm until like 6am for like a year. Yeah, it was crazy. So I was in bed. I was like, oh, my God. I remember this. And I was having like flashbacks to like being. Cause I was home by myself and I felt like I was early pandemic. I was getting. I was like, oh, this feels like too like I was having like a fucking flashback in time. I was like, it's like time traveling or something.

[C]

Yeah, I forgot about. Yeah. For those who don't know, there was a thing in New York City where like all the black and brown neighborhoods were had every. Every night.

[A]

Every night.

[C]

There were just fireworks every night for maybe at least 10 months. It was wild.

[A]

Was it 10? Okay, okay. Your wallet, your fuck. It was not 10 months. I don't know.

[C]

It felt maybe. Maybe down on 140, 42, they stop. But up at 163. It was a long time, honey.

[A]

Your mom is like. He's like, for the better part of a decade, they were firing your. Your wallet. It was not that much.

[C]

I don't know. Jacob, Jacob, what do you think? Did it seem like that much to you? Jacob? It felt like it was a very long. I would say it was maybe about two months.

[A]

Yeah. Bob, why this old did.

[C]

I don't know. I felt like it was a lot longer than it. It felt like forever. Forever to me. It felt like way too long to me.

[A]

But yeah. So one thing, one thing. I am jealous of people who grew up in the south who.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Because I want to talk about something real quick before we get off of food. I was in New York City recently for pride.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And despite living in New York City for over a decade with her for 12 years I never had juniors, so I went to juniors. And you ever had juniors?

[A]

That was every family celebration. You would get junior's cheesecake. And that was my birthday gift.

[C]

Okay. The juniors. Potato pan. Loaded. Potato pancake. It was amazing. It was amazing.

[A]

Okay. I find juniors to be so crunchy. I am not a juniors fan. I mean, it had a ton time in New York.

[C]

How did I never. 12 years. How did I never have one of those?

[A]

Did you have the cheesecake?

[C]

I never even looked at a junior twice. Was not into the cheesecake.

[A]

Disgusting.

[C]

Mine was frozen in the middle.

[A]

Yeah, that shit is nasty. Junior cheesecake is not good. And you know what? Do you know who blew them up?

[C]

Down a little bit? My name.

[A]

Take my what on my headphones.

[C]

Turn your headphones down a little bit.

[A]

Do you know who really?

[C]

What got you popping?

[A]

Diddy. In making the band, when he made. Wait, it was popping before then, but that made it like an even bigger thing in making the band. When P. Diddy made the walk for the cheesecake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He made them walk from Manhattan to Brooklyn to get him cheesecake. And that made it, like a whole thing.

[C]

I don't understand why he made them walk to Brooklyn when there's two juniors in Times Square.

[A]

They weren't there. The only. The only. The only juniors used to be the one on Flatbush Avenue down there.

[C]

Why?

[A]

It was like a punishment. Because they, like, they. I forgot why they, like, didn't do something. Go ahead, Jacob.

[C]

It's on Flatbush and de Cal.

[A]

Yeah, Flatbush and de cow. Because they didn't do something. So it was a punishment. Decal. No, Jacob said decal. I say decab.

[C]

And you. And you were. And you repeated the cow, too.

[A]

Because I knew what he meant, and, you know, I knew what he was trying to say.

[C]

I'm just wondering. I was wondering how y' all say. Because in Georgia I've been asked. It's not pronounced DeKalb.

[A]

No, it's DeKalb.

[C]

I don't know how it's. But in Georgia, we have a DeKalb county, and we. And it's D, E, K, A, L, B. We just say DeKalb County. But I also realized that in Georgia, we also have a Buena Vista Road that everyone calls Buena Vista, but how

[A]

do you spell it?

[C]

B, U, E, N, A, V, I, S. Buena Vista, we call it. Everyone in Georgia calls it. Everyone in Columbus calls it Buena Vista.

[A]

Buena Vista. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay.

[C]

What? Everyone in Columbus. Anyone from Columbus down will confirm.

[A]

I didn't say so recently. I did it. I was doing. I was doing stand up and it.

[C]

Am I tripping or did my face look like a baby?

[A]

What?

[C]

Am I tripping or do I look like a baby?

[A]

The answer is yes, you are tripping. You don't look like a fucking baby, bitch.

[C]

I like one of those baby filters.

[A]

What? Bob, are you. Are you. Are you taking some. Are you taking some psilocybin on the side? Have you have. Is you backsliding, bitch? What the fuck is wrong with you?

[C]

No, look at my head. It looks so tiny.

[A]

Vav you look normal. You are bugging. Something's going on. Lord, heal the world. So I was doing some stand up in Spokane and I just really great over there.

[C]

Spokane?

[A]

It's Spokane.

[C]

You say Spokane?

[A]

It's Spokane.

[C]

That's where. That's where your homegirl from. That's where your homegirl from.

[A]

What homegirl?

[C]

Rachel.

[A]

Rachel.

[C]

Rachel is probably the most famous person from Spokane, Washington.

[A]

This is for Rachel, you big fat crusty white bitch. Why you talking about your mother? That Rachel?

[C]

Google Rachel, Spokane. And you'll be like, oh, she's always

[A]

do these damn things. Oh my God.

[C]

She's probably the most famous person from Spokane, Washington.

[A]

Rachel, Spokane, Washington. Who is that? Oh my God, you are such a damn.

[C]

She is the most famous person from Spokane. I don't know what you want me to tell you.

[A]

It's Spokane.

[C]

I apologize.

[A]

So I was doing. I did it. Which shout out to Spokane, bitch. They showed out. We sold it out. It was such a great time. I love Spokane. And I had to open. Her name was Charles Hall Jr. Really sweet guy, really funny. And then after the show, he's like, man, you were great.

[C]

It's a shady story. It's a very shady story.

[A]

That's shady.

[C]

It's a very shady story. I cannot believe you are telling I cannot believe you are telling this story story on this podcast. You Monet spares no feelings. Monet spares no feelings.

[A]

First of all, I want to know when. Now. Y. Y' all see this these days? Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Cherry picking with what he want to share. Well, I'm on the exchange. I'm. I'mma keep on keeping it real, okay? That's what I'm keep on doing. So.

[C]

Okay, well, since you're keeping it real, since you're keeping it real, did Alyssa punch Trinity? Since you a keep it real mode? Since you don't switch the keep it real switch. You wanna answer that question or do you still not remember that?

[A]

Is that how you put your light switches on? Is that how you put light switches on in your house? So Charlotte Jr. He was great after. He's a man.

[C]

You don't answer that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about your little homeboy from Spokane. Spokane.

[A]

Dude, I talk at this show. He's like.

[C]

He's like.

[A]

He's like, where you from? Like, when he's. And I tell him. I'm like. And I don't know.

[C]

I don't. Oh, he didn't.

[A]

He said. I was like, where are you from? Me? So I'm from Columbus, Georgia. I was like.

[C]

I was like, really?

[A]

I was like, my best friend is from Columbus, Georgia, as well. He's like, really? What's his name? I was like, christopher Caldwell. He was like. He's like, you know Chris? And I was like, yes, that's my best friend. His name is Bob the Drag Queen Christopher. He's like, oh, man. Yeah, I know Chris, man. Him and my cousin Raekwon. I was like. I was like, oh, my God. They're gonna be Faith Time, and he'll be so happy to hear from you. I facetime bob. And I was like, oh, my God, bob. Look who I'm here with. I'm here with charles. I show bob. Bob is like, hey, man,

[C]

Y' all know I can't lie. I cannot. I said. I said, what's your name? He was like, charles. I said, I know you from Columbus. He was like, yeah, you and you and Craig and them used to be down. And I said. And I said, where? He said, on Buena Vista. I said, he didn't say. He said, buena Vista. That's how you know you're from Columbus. I said, oh. I said, oh, on Buena Vista. Okay, Because I used to live off Buena Vista. I used to live off Victory Drive. Anyone from Columbus? No. Victory Drive. And overall, Buena Vista is like. Anyway. So I was like, nah, he from the hood. And I was like, okay. And then. And then I called Monet back. And I was like, monet, I do not know this nigga. I have never seen this thing in my life. I have no clue. No clue who that is.

[A]

Zero. Oh, my God. That shit was.

[C]

Wait, did he mention someone named Antonio?

[A]

I don't remember, bitch. I can't remember what Vlad and I did after that.

[C]

One person I remember was this guy named Antonio who used to live across the way from us. And he had. He lived with his mom, but he always called her Mama Angela. I will never forget that he called his mom Mama Angela. It'd be like if I called my mom Mama Martha or You know, Mama Jackie, you know, Exactly. I was like, mama Angela. So we all called her Mama Angela. Everyone called her Mama Angela. And they lived across the way. Then I also knew a guy named Lawrence that I was one of my best friends, who I ended up going to college with, and a guy named Chase, who I don't know whatever happened to Chase, but Lawrence, Antonio, Chase, Mama Angela. And those are the only people I really remember from my childhood.

[A]

So maybe you forgot about your friend,

[C]

girl that gathered me. I said, monet. I said, monique, don't do that. Don't do that no more. Don't call me with people on FaceTime claiming they don't know.

[A]

Well, what got me when he was like, you know, Chris? And I was like, yeah, that's my best friend.

[C]

Y' all know Chris used to live on Victory Drive, down in, y' all know, Magnolia Apartments. Chris, Martha Kidd. That's so country.

[A]

Um, but, you know, so back to what we were talking about earlier. Um, I was sucking. Who was I talking? To? Somebody. So did you in. In. In Georgia?

[C]

It sound like you said I was sucking. I was like. I said. You said I was sucking. I said don't talk about you, Andy. Little escapades. I don't need to hear about what you and Andy doing.

[A]

Well, let's take a break and maybe I'll give you a little taste, if you lucky, about some of our sex capes.

[C]

Thank God. We'll be back.

[B]

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[C]

Wayfair.

[A]

Every style, every home. Okay, bitch. Let me tell you something.

[C]

Y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Let me. The Monkeypox shit is real. If you are out here having sex, you are getting in close body contact with people. Bitch, be fucking careful. I know three people now. Like, like, not just people I've seen online. Like, three, like, friends who have Monkeypox, who got monkeypox, and they think it's all for sexual activity. And when I tell you it is wild, it is crazy. Like, like, be really careful if you get the chance to take the vaccine which is there. You can use a smallpox. They're using the smallpox vaccine to vaccinate from monkeypox. I would say get it done because it is no joke when I tell you they are covered from head to toe in lesions and like sores and scratches. It's really crazy out here. So if you are here fucking and

[C]

screwing and touching, how long does it last?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

He.

[A]

One of my. One of my friends, I don't, you know, dox anyone. One of my friends, he's had it for about four days now. And the doctor saying it's like just the beginning.

[C]

Think about Monkeypox is it doesn't have to just be from sex. I saw online that you can get monkeypox from sleeping in the same bed as someone sleeping in the bed after someone else sharing sheets. Dancing. Dancing with someone. Getting like bumping skin. Wild. Wild. A cheek. If you're both sweaty and you touch a lesion like it is, you don't even have to. It is very wild.

[A]

Yeah, I ain't hugging nobody. And when was I recently. And people just kind of trying to hug.

[C]

Oh, can we roll back the clip? Can we, can we please roll back the clip Back when I said I didn't want to hug, folks, and Monet called me a nasty, low down, dirty

[A]

gutter, I did not say that.

[C]

And Monet said I was ungrateful to my fans and I'd be nothing without my fans. And now cut. I did not say that. Everyone laughed at Naomi Campbell when she used to go to in a Hazmat suit and spray down everything. Everyone laughed and cackled at her. And now look at all of us.

[A]

Yeah, but you know, Bob, things have changed. Back then, Monkeypox was now breaking. There was not a COVID virus out there. So forgive me if I've changed my stance considering world events. I'm sorry.

[C]

I also want to remind you all that I told Monet at the time I said the reason I don't like hugging all of these fans and stuff at dragcon especially is because I always get sick. You will get sick at dragcon. When they said, no, you won't. Anyway, go look at the footage of me and Monet in the car on my UK blog. Sick as hell.

[A]

Okay. That was different. Going up to the Toy, Bob and I, well, we were on doing our own thing for like weeks before that. Like, I remember before going us leaving for London, Patty and I were on the road for like three weeks. We were, you know, we were like in fucking Australia or something like that. Then I came home for like two days. Pax went to the uk, Bob and I had to have rehearsal. Had to do three. Three shows do. So my body was just tired. But previously, I'd never done dragcon.

[C]

You hugged everyone at the fucking dragcon. You hugged no one. Monet, open mouth, kissed anyone who would ask for one. And then I'm in proximity to Ms. Xchange. Where is she? She over there, this bitch. And then I got sick fucking with you. That was our last. I'm throwing out. That was the dragcon. That put the nail on the coffee. That was dragcon. I was like, never again. I will never get conned again.

[A]

Not conned, anyway. So, yeah, so everybody be careful out there. Bitch, when I get on the plane, because when, you know, pandemic. When you would fly the airline, they would give you like. They would give you like five fucking Purell wipes. They're like, bitch, please take. Clean the whole seat for us, please. Now, bitch, they are hiding the fucking Purell thing. So when I walk on, I'm like, excuse me, you have any Purell wipes? And they'd be like, this bitch cannot find. I'm like, bitch, have the Purell wipes. Bitch, have the Purell wipes. Don't be.

[C]

What the fuck? I always have my own. You know, it's in my rider now.

[A]

I have mine, too. I had them in my gig. They gave me a little Puro packet thing. So I've been putting them in my little bag now because I can't trust the Delta to bring my ship. I'm swabbing, cleaning everything. I got my plane.

[C]

Also, I do want to recommend that if you use the Lysol, I recommend using the Pura wipes over the Lysol wipes because the Lysol wipes are better. Soapy, bitch, you have soap all over your shit.

[A]

Are they.

[C]

The ones I had were soapy.

[A]

Oh, we were talking about military. So we're talking about. Oh, in Columbus. Did y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

Because I know your school is really big on African American history and they. Oh, they taught you guys way more than I learned up. Up in New York. Well, again, I went to, like, a hippie, dippy high school, so that's probably why. But did your school celebrate and teach all about Juneteenth?

[C]

No, I didn't learn about Juneteenth until I was an adult. I was well into my twenties when I heard. When I first learned about Juneteenth.

[A]

But you do. But you do. But y', all, they taught y' all so much about, like, Harriet Tubman and stuff like that. And they didn't. Just didn't go over Juneteenth.

[C]

Yeah, it never came up. I mean, we were also. We learned a lot about people who were still living a big part. I remember one elementary school teacher was really adamant about teaching us about, like, black history from people who are still living. Some of those people did not age well.

[A]

Clarence Thomas.

[C]

Oh, I didn't. Yeah, well, Clarence. No, we didn't. I think Clarence. By the time I was in middle school, Clarence Thomas had been done. Been on some bullshit and was not really considered.

[A]

I just had to have a bite.

[C]

I'm so hungry.

[A]

That's a little bit of my tuna fish. All right.

[C]

You can't ever make fun of me again. You can never. For those of you listening, mon just snuck off camera, take a bite of our tuna fish. Something about bugs we eat. Is it a tuna fish sandwich? What kind of is it? Is it a full piece?

[A]

A full piece? What, like a fucking filet of tuna?

[C]

Is it? Is it? I don't know. People eat that. People eat filet of tuna, Is it? No, it makes it like, okay. People can, Monet. That is. That is so country. Eating a can is the country. Is. This is you. But my mom, every. When I tell you, like, I just think about this. It like, it brings back to my childhood. Every morning my mother would boil an egg and then put it in some tuna fish with some mayonnaise. And I mean, every day she ate that. That is some country shit, Monet.

[B]

What?

[C]

You put your tuna fish.

[A]

Oh, so I can only eat one type of tuna fish. It's called sea bell tuna fish. They only sell it in St. Lucia. It's canned in New Zealand. I've tried finding it in America. They do not sell anywhere in America when I've been overseas in the uk, bitch, not even in New Zealand do they sell seabille tuna fish.

[C]

That's funny.

[A]

So my mom sends me, like, a box of this tuna fish. It's like 48 cans in a box. They sent it to me because it's the only tuna fish I like to eat. And in my tuna fish, I put a little bit of light mayonnaise, a lot of mustard, and I put Caribbean pepper sauce, and I put some black pepper and a little bit of adobo. And I season it like that, and I mix it all together. It's fucking delicious. You don't like mustard?

[C]

That shit sounds. Or mayonnaise. Tuna Fish. Tuna salad is the net, is the nastiest sound of shit. And I just want to come and eat it. Everything smells bad. It doesn't smell good. As soon as you crack the can, I'm like, oh, no. I remember just watching my mom, like, fucking put that egg in that fucking thing. She probably put something there, too, but I just couldn't bear to watch it. I hate it when she used to eat tuna fish every. I would, like, Every morning, Ms. Caldwell. Every morning. You'll eat tuna fish every morning. I'm telling you, Monet, when I say every morning, I'm not kidding. She probably still do it to this day.

[A]

Can I tell y'? All? So Bob is such a strange person. So I would, like. I would, like, be at my home, like, doing my thing, like, making some tuna fish, for example, right? And Bob will, like, maybe come over in the course of me doing that, and he'll walk in, and y' all know Bob Rule at his.

[C]

Sorry, you just broke up for me. Last thing I heard was, Bob is such a strange person.

[A]

Bob is such a strange person. So, like, if I'm like, back when I used to be. Or here in LA or back in New York, I would be at my home, and I would, like, making tuna fish or something. And then Bob would come over in that time, and he would come over, and Bob has keys to my house and whatever. And he would come in, and he would, like, walk into the kitchen, see me making tuna fish. And when Bob does not like something that you're making or he's interested, he walk over like. Well, like, Monet, what is that? And then Bob will. My thing will be sitting the counter.

[C]

Bob will.

[A]

This is exactly what Bob would do. Jacob probably noticed. He walked in like this. Touching your shit. Fucking conviction. I didn't ask you to touch my stuff. Like, in, like, he's, like, investigating your food, like, bitch, that's not yours. It's mine. And then scrunching up his nose, and then, like, making, like. Like, your shit is so nasty. And he would touch it. He would take the fork, and he

[C]

would like, okay, no, no. Okay. No, no, no. Monet's insinuating that I'm putting my fingers in the bowl.

[A]

No, the fork.

[C]

I did not touch your food. I did not. I did not finger Monet's food.

[A]

But you would touch the fork with this, which is the. The vehicle to eat it. And then you, like, pick it up and you, like, watch it fall back down. And then you scrunch up your nose. I'm like, and then make a face and then walk away. That is so rude.

[C]

Also, Monet's leaving out some small parts of the story.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

I walk in, and I'll go, monet, what is that? Monet will be like, oh, it's so and so. And then I'll grab it, and then she'll say something like, do you want some? And then I'll go, no. Then I'll just touch up your foot, pick your food up, and be like this. Because it is me being like, I don't want this. It's like you say, do you want this? And I go, nah, I'm good. I don't just walk in, pick up your food, and be like, this. Shit look nasty as hell. Okay? But sometimes you do. You're investigating to see if you want some or not. And that's when you're investigating it, and you look and you're like, there it goes.

[A]

Thank you, Jacob.

[C]

Inversely, sometimes you are like, can I have some? I would like some of this. Yeah. Sometimes I go, oh, my God. I would love some of this, please. This looks delicious. Y' all saw the video of Monet refusing to cook me bacon in. Based solely on principle in Aspen. That was a wild. More.

[A]

Wait, is that out?

[C]

I feel like that Patreon exclusive.

[A]

Oh, I'm gonna look at that. I don't want to know. A little asking Vlog was out. Okay. Let me. Let me table that

[C]

never works, never will never go again.

[A]

Juneteenth.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I like you.

[C]

I grew up.

[A]

I found out about Juneteenth later in life, but I. Who was I talking to? Was a white person. And they were saying, like, they learned about it in school, and they, like, celebrated it in school. And I was like, that. I was like, good for your school district. I don't remember who it was, but it was a Caucasian individual. And I was like, that's nice.

[C]

Probably somebody went to. Probably somebody went to a Quaker school. These Quaker schools be wild.

[A]

Yeah, they were.

[C]

Quaker schools are wild. Do you know that?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But Lady Money was. Lady Money went to a Quaker school. Lady Money is very. She. Lady Money is Quaker as Quaker oats.

[C]

She looked like the Quakers man.

[A]

She

[C]

out of drag. Am I lying or am I telling the truth? Did I lie? Did I lie?

[A]

But you do. You know, this is funny.

[C]

Like, live in Africa. Didn't Bunny live in, like, Zimbabwe for a while?

[A]

Not Zimbabwe. I forget where it was. But she lived in Africa for two years.

[C]

Bloody Bunny is weird, man.

[A]

Who you tell with to talk to her today? Anybody's a wild.

[C]

Like there's gonna be a movie about her one day called Funny Bunny. I'm going to write it. She is just like she is wild like she is just. I don't know, got just so much. Whenever. The more you learn about her, the less sense any of it makes. It doesn't. It doesn't all come together. It starts being like, wait, what?

[A]

Funny Buddy. Yeah, well, you know, a lot of. A lot of folk this year were very annoyed because, you know, last year or 20, 23.

[C]

I'm reading this. I'm reading this. When Bunny was 11, her family moved to Ghana for a year to accommodate her father, who received a Fulbright scholarship. It was the best year of my life, she said, remembering banana trees in her backyard and a giant snake that slithered on the road. I still gag rest African cab drivers by speaking the remnants of Fonte. I can only say a few things, but it tickles them like crazy. That's when she developed her taste of black Quaker. She briefly attended Quaker boarding school in York, England. Based on her experiences, Buddy regards the English education system to be better than the American one. Upon graduating, she enrolled at the University of Tennessee, where her father teaches, but later relocated to Atlanta, where she attended Georgia State University. What an odd person. None of this makes sense. None of it. Not Bunny being a worldly Oxford educated Fulbright. Fucking child of a Fulbright.

[A]

Yeah, Bunny's wild. I love. Bunny's so nutty. She's so crazy. You know, this year a lot of folk are really. Cause last year was the first year. 2021 was the first year that Juneteenth was celebrated as a holo or it was recognized last year. And this year was the first year it was celebrated. I can't remember.

[C]

No, it was recognized last year, I'm pretty sure. And folks were mad about it.

[A]

Well, not mad about that. They're mad about this year how like any other holiday, it became super commercialized. Did you see the Juneteenth ice creams? And like the. And at Walmart and like they had like. And Target had like a whole Juneteenth celebration. And it was like. And then the things would be like, it's the teens for me. It's the something.

[C]

Like I said, it's the free. It's the. It's that. It's the freedom for me.

[A]

It's the freedom for me. A lot of people are sort of. And I think, you know, with the stuff being recognized in national holidays, the reason why, like, for example, like when walking around for Juneteenth if someone. If a white person came up to me and said, happy Juneteenth, I'd be like, nigga, don't tell me Happy Juneteenth. It just doesn't feel the same as Happy St. Patrick's Day or Happy. And for good reason. It's not. So it is a strange holiday.

[C]

I do think that Juneteenth is, in my mind, is a rejoicing holiday for black people. It is, anyway. Yeah. For black people. Yeah. For me, it is a rejoicing holiday to find joy and happiness and freedom in. I would not buy a. It's the freedom for me. Or Juneteenth ice cream from Walmart. And then especially when I. When they found out that Juneteenth had been copywritten by a white man, that really everyone. Yeah, Juneteenth was cop. Was trademarked or copywritten by a white guy. And people were like, over it. Which. Which. That. That makes sense to me. But if someone said Happy junior To me, I don't think I'd be.

[A]

It feels weird to me.

[C]

I wouldn't be upset.

[A]

It feels. Not a person. Not. Not a black person. But it feels weird to me when a white person. If not, it hasn't happened to me. But I'm thinking about the situation. White press conference. Happy Juneteenth. I'd be like, don't tell me that. It just feels strange.

[C]

It wouldn't bother me. I remember someone saying, can I say Happy Juneteenth? And I was like, sure, if you want to. I mean, but that also, you know, the way that other people. I don't know. For some reason, it doesn't particularly bother me that someone will say Happy Juneteenth, especially for a holiday that is like. I mean, I think the question is, do you know what it is that we're celebrating? Do you know what Juneteenth is? Is a. I mean, I've also. I probably. I remember wishing someone a happy something that was not a happy something. It was like a. It was a Jewish holiday. It was like one of the sad ones.

[A]

Rosh Hashanah. Which one is Rosh Hashanah?

[C]

Let me look that up. We have a Jewish guy here. Is it Yom Kippur? Yeah, it's Yom. You wish my mom a happy Yom Kippur? Yeah, I wish Rose a happy Yom Kippur. And she was like, it's not really a happy holiday. And I was like, oh, I apologize. And I kept it moving. It is a day for atonement and repentance. And I was like, happy Yom Kippur. But I was just like, it's a holiday. And I know that she somewhat observes some Jewish holidays. Yeah. But I also accepted that she was like, oh, it's not a happy one. And I never. And I never wish anyone a happy Yom Kippur ever again.

[A]

Well, you know, I. You know, because growing up in New York City, in the New York City public school system, we celebrate pretty much every Jewish holiday. We would. We would get them off from school. We're not. Like. We celebrated Rosh Hashanah.

[C]

Really.

[A]

Yeah. We did not. So when I, like, it was. It was a gag to me to find out that everyone didn't do that. I'm like, oh, y' all don't celebrate Rosh Hashanah. Y' all don't have off of school for this shit. I'm like, that's crazy to me. I'm sorry. I don't mean shit. Jesus. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, y' all don't get off of school. Like, I was like, it was crazy to me. Look at Jacob. So I was like, it was a very. I thought everyone celebrated the Jewish holidays.

[C]

No, In Georgia, I don't think I ever met a Jewish person until, like, graduated high school.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And I didn't fiddle on the roof in high school.

[A]

Here's a big question. Do y' all have midwinter recession?

[C]

We have a Christmas break.

[A]

We have. We would have Christmas break, and it would go back to school for, like, two weeks, and it would have midwinter recess for a week.

[C]

No.

[A]

And then spring break.

[C]

We get a break during. We get a spring break, we get a Thanksgiving break, and we get a Christmas break.

[A]

Oh, one break for a season in New York City. We had. They was giving us time off everywhere they can. We had. We would have. We would take off the week of the Regents. We would take midwinter recess. We would take a spring break, Christmas break, all the Jewish holidays, all that stuff. New York, New York, they were like, bitch, take y' all niggas home. Send them niggas home.

[C]

Well, that makes sense. There's a lot of culture in New York. There's a lot more cultures in New York City. Or more people of more culture, should I say, in the great American melting pot than there are in Columbus, Georgia.

[A]

I was having an argument with someone from Boston. And you tell me what you think about this, right? Where do you think is more Italian, Boston or New York City?

[C]

New York City.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Like, without a doubt, Boston's Irish.

[A]

Well, they're Irish and Italian and. But he was saying that Boston's, like,

[C]

known for being particularly Irish, right?

[A]

And he was saying, but there is more Italian influence in Boston than in New York. I'm like, not true. Literally not true. Under zero circumstances.

[C]

Well, that might. Well, there's probably a chance that we say that because we lived in New York City and we have never lived in Boston. So maybe there is. We don't know.

[A]

But I looked it up. I literally Googled where has more Italian influence, New York or Boston. Every article said New York. He's like, well, you put New York. You said when you searched it, you put New York first. I'm like, doesn't matter. So I literally put Boston or New York, and it said New York City.

[C]

I mean, if you ask Mateo, he'll probably say Chicago, you know?

[A]

No, let me ask him. I'm gonna call that little. That little bitch.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What?

[C]

Iki lingua.

[A]

He is a. He's a bitch. He's little and he's a bitch. Did I lie? Did I lie?

[C]

Did I lie? Is one of my favorite. Did I lie? Forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. You're the new Bob. No one answers your calls anymore. This is wild. How does it feel? Welcome to the club. He literally just texted me, no one answers your calls anymore, Roberta.

[A]

You know, it's been so long since I've been able to touch your little soft, little weirdly soft hands.

[C]

Yeah. I tried to hang out with you recently in la and you were not happy again. You were like, you would not come over. Or I could. You would know. You wouldn't let me come over. That's what it was. Me and Jacob said, can we come over? And you were like, no, that's not true, Jacob. Do you remember this, Jacob? Yeah, I do. Yeah. We tried to come over. He told us. We told us. He told us. And I said, money, I won't see you for a very long time. I'm going to film. I'm going to New York City, and then I'm going to film. We're here. And then you said, you cannot come over. And I said, money. And then Jacob said, we'll come on. We'll play video games. We'll bring the revenue.

[A]

That's not true.

[C]

Can I, Jacob?

[A]

Okay, of course Jacob's gonna side with you.

[C]

Jacob said they should call you a Jew. No, but Jacob, tell the truth. Didn't. Didn't. Monet said these little bullshit ass holidays y' all Jews be celebrating.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

But But Monet, that did happen. Cause we had to film an episode. And I asked you to come over. You said no.

[A]

That's what. I'll come to you. That is true. That is true. That is true. You're right. You're right.

[C]

You're right, you're right. Yeah. Then I said, I'll come to you. He said no. I said, we gotta record anyway. And he said no. And I said, I won't see you for like three weeks, almost a month. And you were like. And you said, I don't care. Go bring your little Jew boyfriend over here.

[A]

Oh, my God, you're so ridiculous. Yeah, bitch, fix your blurry. I can't. I can't. This nigga gotta be fucking Doctor Strange in this bitch. Trying to get this. Goddamn. This nigga trying to get this. This camera.

[C]

This is my fucking multiverse of madness.

[A]

Did you see it? Did you? It.

[C]

I have not seen it and I don't have any plans on seeing it. I saw one part that I really liked and it made me look up this. I've been looking up characters, like obscure. Obscure to me. Marvel characters. And who's the guy that. That whispers and blows people away? Black. What?

[A]

Oh, the one. I didn't. I didn't. I've never ever heard of the superhero, ever. But I saw him. He was. He was in the movie. He a scream. Scream man?

[C]

No, Black Bolt. Black Bolt. So I looked up Black Bolt and he's in a TV show. He has like, a lot of. A lot of. He's like a main character in this one TV show and he seems really like an interesting character who can whisper and like destroy buildings. And apparently if he screams, he'd like crack the earth in half or something. It's wild.

[A]

What TV show is Black Bolt on?

[C]

Inhumans. Inhumans. That's what it is. And then I looked at this character named Speedball. There's this guy who has a YouTube channel where he talks about like Marvel's saddest character ever. He talks about different stuff. And I looked up this whole character named Speedball that was really interesting. It's about a character who's like the embodiment of LSD apparently. But then his whole. Absorbs energy. But it's. But that seemed far fetched his power that he kind of like absorbs energy and then blast it back out. So if you punch him, kind of like Bishop without the gun, if you punch him, he will take it in and then like, he'll take in a

[A]

bunch of that same energy at you. Yeah.

[C]

Then Yeah, I remember Bishop. Oh, my God. I was obsessed with Bishop as a kid. I was obsessed.

[A]

So this character basically can store kinetic energy and then use it and make it and put it back at you. Got it.

[C]

But he had a really sad. A really sad story because, like, he.

[A]

His daughter.

[C]

He was like a. He was like a D list superhero. And then he was trying to create this reality TV show of superheroes, and they tried to take down this, like, house full of bad guys. And then one of the bad guys blew up the whole block and killed, like, 60 people. No, like 400 people. 60 of them were children. And then everyone blamed him for it. And then he went dark and went crazy, lost his powers. And then it was like a whole thing.

[A]

You better go in a little deep dives.

[C]

And then his powers could only be activated when he was in pain. So he built this suit that had, like, 600 needles inside of it. So he was always in pain.

[A]

This is Bishop.

[C]

It was very weird. No, this was Speedball.

[A]

Speedball got him.

[C]

Not your power guy who have a gun.

[A]

Yeah, your power being able to just trip on acid anytime you wanted to. That's wild.

[C]

It wasn't. No. They said he was supposed to be the visual embodiment of an acid trip. I think what the guy said.

[A]

So he's Acid Betty.

[C]

His power was nothing to do with acid. Tune into Sibling Retrospectively, which we did not name it, but I really wanted to.

[A]

That would be a silly name. Sibling Retrospectively is silly.

[C]

Oh, Sibling Watcher is so serious. Oh, seven is like, super Advisory is really civil jerky. That's the one.

[A]

Oh, that's the one, honey. That's the one, honey. Oh, recently I posted on Twitter.

[C]

Go ahead. Yeah, let me. Go ahead.

[A]

I posted on Twitter. I'm like, can we get post Surgery Bob back on the back on the podcast? That Bob was not confrontational. And she spoke above. She barely spoke above a whisper. She was great. And then someone said, can we get a petition to something? Your microphone, whatever. And then you commented, gather her. And then I clicked on his profile, and I was gonna gather him, but, baby, the profile was right. And I was like, I'm not gonna gather her.

[C]

I'm just gonna look. I didn't click on the profile. Let me go look. Let me look real quick.

[A]

Them little sexy underwear she had on.

[C]

I went back and I went back and checked, and you know what? I went. Cause you gaslit me one more again. I went back and checked, and you indeed were getting gathered for your mic more than I was getting Gathered for mine, mama.

[A]

I don't think it was more than the other. We're gathering, both of us.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Obama's on a search for this, for this guy's Twitter. He's in. I think he recently.

[C]

There's nothing.

[A]

Yes. Look at his underwear, his pin tweet. I mean, you can see his dick. What do you mean it's not dirty,

[C]

Monet. Do you think bodies are inherently dirty? This says so much about you. This really, honestly, everything I need to know about you just got answered. I cannot believe that you would. Monet's censoring bodies now. What's next? You want to lock the nipple up? What's next, Monet?

[A]

If I was a woman and I had. I would have had my tits out all the time just to piss men off. I would walk around everywhere with my tits out. Especially because in New York State, you can. I walk with my tits out all the time.

[C]

You don't have to be. You don't have to be a woman to have tits. Go get a pair of tits right now with them out.

[A]

Could you imagine? Oh, my God, what if I got. Bitch, I already have man boobs, but I want, like, fucking breasts. I want like fucking, like big fucking, like fucking 38 Cs on my goddamn chest. Well, to match me, I probably need some Ds. Probably a 38D or 36D.

[C]

You have everything in your. You have all the resources necessary to do this.

[A]

Can you imagine? I just got breast augmentation and got me fucking boobs. Could you imagine? That would be wild.

[C]

That would be wild. Why would that be so wild? Ah, no. Do either of you own any breastplates?

[A]

I have a breastplate. I have one. Just the one that I wore that I got in All Stars 4. Do you have you. You have. You have the one to domino, but. But the one that dominated the alpha for you, it can't be. It can only be used for that, right?

[C]

Yeah. It's attached to the garment. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I want to see where that is.

[C]

I think it makes sense to. You know, maybe that's part of your non binary fantasy. You know, sometimes you want to have a certain body part, but then in your head you think they won't make sense with this and that and the other. But I think the world is evolving,

[A]

you know, I mean, I don't want breasts. I bet what I want is. What I want are pecs. And I could. So I could get surges, get like detox. Pec implants. I have, like. Because you Know, Shaquita has fucking pecs. And because her pecs are so pecky and drag, she just pushes a little bit and they make great tits.

[C]

The pecs be pecking, the pets be pecking.

[A]

So I want some chiquita pet.

[C]

Well, I think that if you. I have like a little fat in my titty. I think if I have to get the fat removed so that I. I can have pecs.

[A]

Yeah, I definitely have some fat in my. But I have weight. I have. I have full on man boobs. You do not have that.

[C]

I do not. It's called gynomasty and I do not have gynomasty.

[A]

I don't think I have. Because I asked my doctor, he said, no, you don't have gynomasty. It's not gy. Called gynochemastica. And I asked my. And he was like, you don't have that. You just. I was like, well, then what is it? He was like, it's just fat, but it's not.

[C]

You're like, nah, n. You got his tits, it's called.

[A]

But he's like, you don't have that. But like, when I was like, really on, like my workout game from like December, January, February, they were gone. So I believe him. And I was giving a fan. I was giving peckage. But now I have slipped a little bit.

[C]

But guess who? Guess who's back in the house, girl. So back in the house.

[A]

But I'm getting on my thing. I downloaded again.

[C]

And this workout is so stupid. No, no, listen, let's work out. Honestly, y'. All. Let your body be happy. Let your body be what it wants to fucking be. There have been times in my life where I've been. I have been incredibly skinny. There are times when I've been larger than I am right now. And I. I don't. I. When I don't remember, I don't ever have any recollection of my happiest being in my skinniest. That does not even sound remotely familiar to me. I do not have any connection to being extremely skinny and being extremely happy. And y', all. Monet was there when I was squinty and I wasn't like, oh, I'm so. I'm so happy now. So, like. But you know what? I am happy is when I. When I don't feel bad about eating what I want to eat when I eat something. When I eat something. And I'm like, I'm happy that I ate that. And I feel good about my life and I feel good about myself. That's when I am my happiest. I have been stuck in this fucking cycle of trying to get this fucking body, man. Fuck that shit, man. That is.

[A]

Well, I really. I genuinely enjoy working out and doing the thing like. And I Do you like eating cake, too?

[C]

Yeah. You like eating cake too?

[A]

That's why I went. I went to the gym this morning. I also had my donut fiesta. I'm gonna finish. I don't like police. I'm like, I'm not eating these. I'm not doing that. I just. I really enjoy working out and I love going to the gym and putting my music on and listening to a podcast and working out. Like, I genuinely enjoy that sometimes. Do I not do it because it's annoying? Yeah. And I don't do it.

[B]

It.

[A]

But I enjoy it still.

[C]

I like going for walks. I found the only working out that I really enjoy is going for walks sometimes. I like hanging out with Ridge. I think Ridge is fun. Something about my trainer is exciting.

[A]

Wait, hold on one second.

[C]

Hold on one second.

[A]

This is calling me and I'm like, who the. What is that? That's weird.

[C]

What does it say?

[A]

Hello,

[C]

Speaker.

[A]

It's one of those. Your car. Extended warranty ship.

[C]

Oh, Monet. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not gonna get your extended. Are you not gonna extend your warranty?

[A]

Shut the fuck up. Oh, my God, you're such a child.

[C]

Well, that's the once in a lifetime opportunity. If you don't call it. They're not gonna extend it anymore.

[A]

Do what I did the other day, and I felt. And I really enjoyed it. And I have to thank you for teaching me the joke. It's really cracking me up. We were. Andy and I were at a wedding in Vermont, and then we're allegedly. Our hotel was haunted. First of all, it was like a. It was. It was a rustic wedding. Do you. If you were to ever have a wedding, would it be a rustic wedding? Like an old barn? Like, old, right?

[C]

No.

[A]

And it was beautiful. It's just not my aesthetic. But I will say it was very well done. The place was very lovely. The bride, she was fucking stunning. And just hearing how the people talked about her, I was like, that's how I want people to speak about my kid. Like, they were saying, like, she is always. She is an activist. Like, if anyone is whatever, she's always on the front lines of blah, blah, blah. And then when they went to cut the cake, something I fucking love when they went to the cake.

[C]

What about the groom? What about the groom? God damn. Did anybody say shit about the groom?

[A]

They were like, yeah, God damn. And then when she went to cut the cake. When they went to cut the cake. You know how when you cut the cake, you're supposed to. The husband feeds the wife and the wife feeds him. When they cut the cake. She took the fork and ate her own cake. She's like, I've been. She's like, I've been feeding myself since I was a. Since I was a year and a half. I'm not gonna stop now. I was like, that's the kind of daughter I want, bitch. A daughter that's like, bitch. Fuck the patriarchy, bitch. I can feed myself my own motherfucking cake. Anyway, we're at this wedding, and apparently the hotel was haunted, whatever. So we're in the thing. And he was like, can't believe we're at this haunted hotel. And I was like, yeah, well, you know, people get possessed by all type of things here, even owls. He was like, no, they don't. I was like, people get possessed. Someone got possessed by an owl here. And you know exactly who. He's like, no, I don't. I was like, babe, you know them. He's like, who? And I was like. He was like. He just walked out of the room naked. He was like, I'm done. He's like, I'm done. He's like, you're such. I was like, this. Bob,

[C]

it's so stupid. It is very satisfying when you get someone with it.

[A]

It's very good. Well, Bob, I think that's all the time we have for today. I love you very much. I hope the Lord blesses you and keeps you. And something tells me I have a. I love when RuPaul used to say this. I have a feeling. Something. Whatever she said. And I have a feeling, Bob and

[C]

I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of you.

[A]

Yeah, so. And I have a feeling I haven't seen the last of you today. Wink.

[C]

Well, thank you very much. I shed this rhinestone tear for you, and I will see you on the other side.

[A]

Goodbye.