The One That Was Supposed To Be About Billionaires

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One That Was Supposed To Be About Billionaires"

Date: November 24, 2021
Hosts: Monét X Change & Bob The Drag Queen

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Episode Overview

In this raucously hilarious episode, Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen intend to discuss the ethics and realities of billionaires, but as they often do, the conversation careens across a diverse range of topics – from memorable drag performances and inside jokes, to pop culture and social commentary on wealth, privilege, identity, and language within both LGBTQ+ communities and society at large. The episode’s freewheeling energy and quick wit are on full display with recurring playful bickering, personal stories, and spontaneous deep dives into subjects like the politics of drag names, financial ethics, and why neither of them is destined to be a billionaire’s trophy spouse.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Inside Drag & Backstage Banter

Timestamps: 01:12–14:09

• Start with Monét and Bob recounting backstage drama, including a discussion about “drag elders” and the etiquette of addressing established queens.
• Bob’s story about hosting "Work the World," poking fun at costume changes, and a bit with Kimchi’s fan holding a “Korean” sign:
  • Quote [10:14, Bob]: “There was no wings at the Ace Hotel...I’m just sitting on a table watching all the girls perform.”
• Playful shade about costume choices:
  • Discussion: Pressure to switch from black lipstick/fishnets to more varied looks (12:47–14:13).
• Tangent about the use of the N-word and the evolution of drag performance language.

2. The Power (and Pitfalls) of Language Within Queer Spaces

Timestamps: 14:21–18:28

• Honest talk about reclaiming/rejecting slurs (the N-word, “faggot”) in performance settings.
• Brief sidetrack to drug offers at clubs, Bob’s sobriety, and the assumptions people make about nightlife folks.
  • Notable exchange:
    • [17:09, Bob]: “People are shocked that I don’t do drugs.”
    • [17:57, Monét]: “Maybe you kinda seem like a snitch.”

3. Wealth, Billionaires, and Taxation in America

Timestamps: 22:04–29:06

• Finally land on the intended topic: attitudes toward billionaires, "eat the rich" rhetoric, and whether ethical billionaires exist.
  • Origin of "Eat the Rich":
    • [22:04, Bob]: “So you know the phrase ‘eat the rich’?... It comes from some French guy, right? ...’When the people have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.’”
  • AOC’s “tax the rich” at the Met Gala, performative activism, and the optics of progressive politics mingling with the elite.
• Tax loopholes, trickle-down economics, and Donald Trump’s 25-year tax avoidance.
  • Quote:
    • [28:22, Bob]: “In the past 25 years, the lady who works at McDonald’s paid more in taxes than Donald Trump.”
• Church taxation exemption, with targeted shade at megachurch pastors:
  • [28:55, Bob]: “Joel Osteen needs to go to jail.”

4. Celebrity Culture, Money & Drag Economy

Timestamps: 30:38–36:36

• Break out into pop culture—debate Nicki Minaj’s legendary “Monster” verse, pricing out a hypothetical feature from Cardi B (“50k a verse!”) and debating the economics of music features.
  • Quote:
    • [33:02, Bob]: “10 times your pay. 50k for a verse, no album out yet.”
• Playful speculation on how much it would cost to get features from Megan Thee Stallion or Flo Milli, and pitching themselves as potential collaborators.

5. The Politics of Drag Names

Timestamps: 39:54–46:33

• A lively exchange about why drag queens bristle at being called their government names, especially in drag.
  • [41:07, Monét]: “Chris, you cannot, in drag, do not ever call a drag queen by their slave name.”
• Discussion of which queens embrace being called out-of-drag names (“Bianca” vs “Roy”), and regional differences in drag culture (NY queens use drag names everywhere, SF queens may use both).
• Game time: guessing real names of Drag Race contestants—spotlighting race, expectations, and names as a source of community in-jokes.
  • [52:43, Bob]: “That is the blackest name. I’m gonna go on a limb and say there is not a blacker name in Drag Race than DaQuan Johnson.”

6. Wealth, Sugar Daddies, and Careers

Timestamps: 54:48–60:08

• Who are the richest people Monét & Bob know? Casual shade and speculation about the finances of famous queens (Todrick Hall, Bianca Del Rio, Trixie Mattel, etc.).
• The logistics and ethics of marrying rich—Monét admits to fantasizing about it but questions her commitment to the lifestyle:
  • [57:11, Monét]: “I once had dreams and aspirations of just marrying rich...”
  • [59:48, Bob]: “I could not be a sugar baby...I’m not made up of that kind of...mental constitution.”

7. Musicals, Food, and Reunions

Timestamps: 61:08–67:15

• Comedy digression on Disney princesses (“Merida from Brave is the worst Disney princess”), musical movies post-Dreamgirls, and the enduring popularity of the Monte Cristo sandwich.
• Food memories: Monét’s first Monte Cristo, Bob’s Southern food nostalgia.

8. Paying for Perks: The Gig Economy and Drag Assistant Life

Timestamps: 70:15–73:01

• What counts as a necessary “perk” when hired for a gig? (Parking, transportation, etc.)
  • [71:24, Monét]: “They can pay for your parking.”
• Discussion about assistant pay, delegation, who counts as “personal staff” for a successful queen.

9. Friend Drama and the Art of the Invite

Timestamps: 73:32–78:24

• Ends with a comedic “investigation” into why certain friends were (or weren’t) invited to dinner, turning group plans into a quasi court trial, with a live call-in to Matteo Lane to solve a dinner-date mystery.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the ethics of church wealth:
  “Bitch, Joel Osteen needs to go to jail.” – Monét [28:55]
• Drag queen nicknames:
  “Do not ever call a drag queen by their slave name. You call them by their drag name.” – Monét [41:15]
• On the economics of being a billionaire:
  “The richer you are, the less you pay in taxes.” – Bob [26:57]
• On being a sugar baby:
  “I could not be a sugar baby. I'm not made up of that kind of...mental constitution.” – Bob [59:48]
• Pop culture navigation:
  “Pull up in that monster automobile gangster.” – Bob as Nicki Minaj [30:54]
• On race and queerness in history:
  “I don’t think MLK would've liked us either.” – Bob [20:10]
• On NY drag secrets:
  “There are New York queens I've known for years... I do not know their boy name.” – Monét [44:41]
• Name Game:
  “That is the blackest name. I'm gonna go on a limb and say there is not a blacker name in Drag Race than DaQuan Johnson.” – Bob [52:43]

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Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps

• Backstage banter / RuPaul drag measurements: [01:12–03:12]
• The Oprah/Met Gala “tax the rich” debate: [22:33–24:28]
• Churches and tax breaks: [28:45–29:55]
• Nicki Minaj “Monster” verse breakdown: [30:38–34:23]
• Drag names guessing game: [45:00–54:03]
• Sugar baby ethics and marrying rich: [57:07–60:08]
• Monte Cristo sandwich love letter: [65:01–66:37]
• Assistant discussion and gig perks: [71:05–73:19]
• Friend group dinner invite drama and live call-in: [75:03–78:24]

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Tone & Vibe

• Playful, bawdy, irreverent: Genuine drag queen wit, often veering into tongue-in-cheek or light “readings.”
• Candid, occasionally poignant: Sincere discussion about money, ethics, and the complicated intersection of queer performance and mainstream acceptance.
• Self-aware and meta: The hosts constantly joke about straying from their intended topic — the episode title is itself a running gag.

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Conclusion

Despite the title promising a deep-dive on billionaires, the episode becomes an exuberant, multi-topic romp through drag culture, music, language, and the politics of wealth. The hosts maintain their trademark chemistry, fiercely shading each other while unpacking big topics with humor and insight. The show is as much about their friendship and community’s inside jokes as any single headline.

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For drag fans and casual listeners alike, this episode delivers the perfect Sibling Rivalry blend of comedy, candor, and cultural critique, with just enough “topic” content to make you glad you stuck around for the ride.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees.

[B]

Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes.

[A]

Me slow when network.

[B]

On today's episode, we commission a verse from Megan Thee Stallion.

[A]

We're supposed to talk about billionaires.

[B]

We found out what made Monet say this.

[A]

Bitch Joel Osteen needs to go to jail. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[B]

That is the black, blackest name. I'm gonna go on a limb and say there is not a blacker name.

[A]

Jacob just grabbed. Just gathered your bald ass head bob overhead, FA FA FA foo. And Jacob was like, can you get close to the mic, please?

[B]

And Bob.

[A]

What did Bob do? Get close to motherfucking mic. That's what you did?

[B]

Yeah, I'm at work.

[A]

Ooh, that felt. Ooh, that was so good to see. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We were.

[B]

We were. Me and I were talking. Jacob was doing the microphone test.

[A]

And. And what did he say?

[B]

And Jacob said, can you please scoot

[A]

close to the mic?

[B]

No.

[A]

He's like, can you get?

[B]

He didn't.

[A]

There was no please. He said, can you get close to the mic, please?

[B]

You just said please. You said please again.

[A]

No.

[B]

So there. Please or not? You said please twice.

[A]

He said, sorry. He said, can you get. I'm sorry, I misspoke. He said, can you get close to the mic? But I was like, got close on the motherfucking mic.

[B]

What? What are you on? Yeah, Jacob asked me if I could do my job. And some of us are professional. Yeah, he did it.

[A]

So why. So I'm just saying what he.

[B]

What happens?

[A]

Why you mad?

[B]

You trying to act like Jacob gathered me.

[A]

Why you mad? I'm not mad. Why you mad, bitch?

[B]

Why you mad?

[A]

Your co star?

[B]

We were starting and Monet was talking about a designer friend of ours, Domino Couture.

[A]

So Bob asked Domino for the measurements of a very famous world drag queen, RuPaul, because Domino has done things for RuPaul before and Domino wouldn't give it to him. I was like. I was like. I was like, oh, well, ask him now. That was probably back in the day when he was like, you know, kiki ka.

[B]

No, you say geeky gee.

[A]

Geeky gee.

[B]

And I was like, but you, Bobby, you are so trying. Okay, I'm trying to use my power of context clues.

[A]

You're such an intelligent human being.

[B]

That sounded like a dig. You were trying. Can you put your phone. I put my phone in my chair so it won't vibrate on the table.

[A]

I use mine to look shit up. Cause you'd be talking mess.

[B]

And Monet was like, back when it was like, gee, gee, gee. Like, he was like, more professional.

[A]

Yeah, see, you know, you. You were gonna say language that wasn't shady, but you had to inject the Bob the Drag Queen ridiculosity.

[B]

What were you saying then? Back when.

[A]

Like, back in the day when he was. When he was. When y' all weren't as close. So he didn't want to, like, divulge personal information like that.

[B]

And I'm supposed to know that's what

[A]

geeky gimme means, but you can use context clues to get around that. Bob, don't act brand new. You know me. We can finish each other's sandwiches.

[B]

You.

[A]

You can we. I don't need to.

[B]

When I said, you do that a lot, it's just such a weird thing. You'd be like, yeah. I mean. But then I was like, and. And I was like, but every time without Phil.

[A]

You know exactly what I'm saying? So it's a non issue.

[B]

Not every time, but I want to come over. And I was like. And. And I'm like, what you mean? Oh, yeah. I just. I got out of the shower. My hair is still wet.

[A]

What hair? I want to table this because I was telling you something before. So on the other podcast, this doesn't work.

[B]

You be like, oh, what was I supposed to remember?

[A]

This is supposed to be.

[B]

This is all you remember that you held your finger. That's all you remember.

[A]

This is single for you to remember that I forgot something work.

[B]

So you tell me something from the podcast. You and Bunny.

[A]

Bunny and I, we had. We did a pod today about. We're here and I'm really interested.

[B]

I want you to take some fight that old bitch.

[A]

I want you to take some excerpts from it and you and I talk about on this podcast.

[B]

All right. I mean, from what can you sum it up?

[A]

So we talked. So the goal was to talk about we're here and also the Dave Chappelle special for our headlines. And. And we started talking about we're here. And Bunny just had so many interesting takes about We're Here about how the. All the trying to be therapists.

[B]

But she looked at her paycheck on the fucking thing, huh? She took that fucking money, huh?

[A]

And she liked it. She just saying there were, like, a few things that didn't make sense.

[B]

Did she like it?

[A]

She did. She did.

[B]

She said, I like it.

[A]

She did.

[B]

What's her problem? What's her fucking problem?

[A]

She felt like y' all were being therapists and y' all aren't therapists. Y'. All. That y' all were. It's therapizing because I started using the word therapizing. Is that a word? I've heard it. Okay.

[B]

I don't know if it's a real word, but I've heard it.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Yeah, we're not therapists on the show. I always say in interviews, say, we're not therapists.

[A]

That's what I said.

[B]

We're just having a human connection and sometimes people.

[A]

And she also didn't jive with the thought of Drag Me Magic. And I was like, well, it's not about drag being magic. The point is that you cannot ignore that drag is a physical and sometimes internal transformation.

[B]

Like, we can all agree that Bunny's drag is tragic.

[A]

So, yes, they're having an outside transformation, but drag, there is something about drag that unlocks more pride in oneself. You find facets of yourself that you never knew existed. And I was saying, like, maybe if Bob, Eureka and Shangela came to East Blackbush, Brooklyn when I was 17, 18, 19, maybe, I.

[B]

Well, no, then remember we came to Cluckaduck, Tennessee, back in 1913 to visit John Ingram or whatever his name is.

[A]

How he down there.

[B]

Maybe if we would have went to Ku Klux, Tennessee.

[A]

Oh, my God. Kkt. So I'm really interested to hear your thoughts about all the things Bunny said.

[B]

Well, I mean, Bunny is quite a salacious character and says wild stuff. I was really gagged because you and Bunny did your little videos.

[A]

Okay? You had to put the word little in there, huh?

[B]

Well, one of you is looking little Bunny looked very petite. And. And one of the comments I gotta actually, I wanna find was such a cackle. To me, the way that people, like, clock. The way that you offer Bunny so much grace and, like, space and, like, just, like, she can be wrong. She can be. She can tell. She can say Asian hate is because they deserved it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

If I say I don't get what geeky key means, It's World War II.

[A]

Okay. You ever think it's because Bunny.

[B]

I'm like, what's the geeky key? And you're like, you know, you dumb slut. Because Bunny's like, well, Asian hate. They're. They're looking all Asian. Maybe they shouldn't be. Maybe they. Maybe they Taiwan. It didn't happen to them.

[A]

Well, the thing is that Bunny offers me grace so I would give it back. You don't offer me that same grace, bitch. I say the wrong time of day, you dumb fucking monkey bitch from flat bitch. How dare you not know the time.

[B]

So it's, you know, Monet looks incredible. Let's just say that first. Second, I agree with a lot of what Bunny's saying here, and I love the way Mo graciously informs Bunny when she says something that misses a little Irishman. I imagine my shock watching this and finding out that. Did you really comment finding out that Monet offers grace.

[A]

Will.

[B]

And honey, I just noticed you've been very delicate with the old man.

[A]

She's elderly. Honey, aren't you nice to your elders?

[B]

What is elder? How old is elderly?

[A]

I think elder is over elderly. Elderly is over 75. Elder is, you know, someone's elder than you. They're older than you. Someone's an elder. No, I say if you say someone is an elder, I would think they're older.

[B]

I think it depends on the context. Like a drag elder. I would say someone who's been a drag for, like, 15 more years.

[A]

But drag is the only term you would use that. I can't think of another place I would use elder and not be speaking about, you know, like what? Like dragon drag is so specific. Yes, they're drag elders, but I guess a Scout girl, if you're in the Boy Scouts, some of the scout elder.

[B]

And I know that. I've seen people use it in reference to older people in the community. Like trans elders. Or. I see people go, yeah, elders in the act.

[A]

Those are all specifics.

[B]

Face. I've seen people use elders in context with, like, indigenous people. Use it.

[A]

You can. Elders for boyfriends. Well, my elder boyfriend, the one I've been with for the most, for the longest.

[B]

I don't. Jacob is looking at her like, oh, sorry, Elder Jacob was over here. Mormons obviously say elder.

[A]

All right, and who are those Mormons?

[B]

They're like, once you're, like, not a kid anymore, you're elder, whatever your last name is.

[A]

Someone was telling me, like, well, not

[B]

just wants to kill. Like, if you. Once you go on your mission, your Mission.

[A]

You become like, elder exchange. Got it.

[B]

Maybe Elder the Drag Queen. Are you by your first name?

[A]

Elder Queen?

[B]

Elder. Your last name? Your elder.

[A]

Your. Your Elder Queen. I don't like this. The Drag. The Drag Queen.

[B]

Yeah. No, call me Miss the Drag Queen.

[A]

I didn't. That's silly.

[B]

You think my middle name is the Drag?

[A]

No, Miss Queen.

[B]

No, Miss the Drag Queen. There goes when they always go, Miss Drag Queen. And it really tickles me, even in my first video. Yes, Miss the Drag Queen. That is so funny. You know, Goona Blue, I was used to call her and go. I introduced her on stage and be like, first name la. Last name.

[A]

I was last night. I was Bob.

[B]

I'm the legend that house of Goona Blue. Get up her life.

[A]

So Bob stepped into host Work the World last night. And I was watching the show, and obviously Bob was very funny. I was like, bob is one of those comedians. Bitch, you will laugh at your own joke if it's the last thing you do. Bob. Bitch, you were cracking yourself up. We were just. We were just happy to watch you tell the jokes to yourself.

[B]

Well, sometimes you gotta let people know what's funny. You gotta, you know, train the audience on when to laugh.

[A]

There was one when you went in on that girl holding the. Holding up the Kimchi song.

[B]

Okay, so just so y' all know, what happened was during Kimchi. So I'm sitting, like, right off the side of the stage. There was no wings at the Ace Hotel.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So everyone could just see. There's probably footage of me just sitting on a table watching all the girls perform.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm looking and Kimchi's performing. There's a sign in the back, and I'm assuming it's in Korean because it only went up when Kimchi went on stage. It's maybe the size of, like.

[A]

It's like it was like this big.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like, like, like. Like a textbook opened up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm assuming it was in Korean because it didn't go up when. When anyone else was on stage, just Kimchi. So I came out and I was like, oh, I know you have that sign. Is it. Is it Korean? I'm assuming it's Korean. She goes, yeah, it is Korean. And. And I couldn't see it. So I said, are you Korean? And she was like, no. And I was like, well, that was a weird choice. And I was like, just so you know, Kimchi is fluent in English. She was born in Michigan. She. You know, she could read signs no matter what language you put Them in the signs had kimchi on it.

[A]

Work.

[B]

She probably got off a peck of fucking cabbage she had in the house. A jar of kimchi in the house. But I. I mean, I. I did tell everyone to bully her.

[A]

You did, Bob. You literally said bully her. I was like, bob, go away.

[B]

I said, we should be bullying white people. And let's all start with this lady. Well, hosting the show last night did kind of remind me that I don't think I want to do that anymore.

[A]

It's a lot of work. You were on stage work more than anyone else.

[B]

Yeah. It's too much work.

[A]

You had the most costumes and they

[B]

were like, well, you can wear the same outfit, one outfit the whole show. But I mean, I could, but I was like, it just feels like I should change more than once.

[A]

I. I think I did think you put. You did one with too many. I think you should in the first half in your Phoenix number and after intermission, change into the red one. I don't know why. Why did you change it into the crazy one in the middle?

[B]

It just felt like, appropriate to like, change halfway through it in my mind.

[A]

That wasn't halfway through, though.

[B]

It was halfway through. Have to do the first set.

[A]

Yeah, the show halfway through the first

[B]

set and I came back in a new outfit.

[A]

I mean, if anything, you should have changed for the finale.

[B]

My body looked. Well, there was no time, though. I also had to change when there was time because there's one dresser for this entire show.

[A]

Yeah. James Charles. I was sitting next to James Charles and he leans over, he was like, how does Bob had. Like that? I said I taught him, which I did. That is kinda. You picked up some tricks from me.

[B]

What trick? I'm waiting.

[A]

Oh. Oh. You were the queen of only wearing black fishnets. What color fishnets were you wearing last night, Bob?

[B]

Okay, I was.

[A]

What color fishnets were you wearing last night?

[B]

You want me to answer the question?

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

They were.

[A]

What color?

[B]

They were brown.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I did not get that from you. Who got that from Domino Couture and

[A]

the team and who you think told Domino?

[B]

Not you. So now you talk Domino. Everything he knows for the season. You. You. You're. You're my now you're my designer. And we're here. So we're here two. Okay. There are a few things that girls used to, like, gather me for what? One was wearing black lipstick. Like, there was like one day we were doing Work the World and there was like an intervention. All the girls got together on like, no, I'm I'm being a little facetious, but like, three, it was Kim Asia, and one more person was like, you need to stop wearing black lipstick. You look matronly, like you look old as fuck, and you need to stop wearing black lipstick. And I was like, I think it looks nice and regal. They were like, it doesn't. So there's your answer. I was like, damn. So if you notice, I've been wearing pretty much one lipstick since then. I went like, what is it? I used velvet teddy, an American doll, velvet teddy by Mac in an American dollar over it from Anastasia Beverly Hills. And. And then people were like, wait, where black fishnets? I was like, they don't sell fish. That's my color. So I had to. Also your fishnets.

[A]

Like Java. Java is your color. And I told you that before.

[B]

I. I only like Capizio. Right?

[A]

Capizio Java.

[B]

They're not my car. They're too. They're too light for you. I'm telling you, they're too light. So the ones I wear last night, they're. They're custom died. Ricky. Shout out to Ricky. Ricky Reynosa.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

I'm positive.

[A]

Cause Java is way darker on me, so how can it be light on you?

[B]

I'm a lot darker than you, nigga. I'm nigga.

[A]

I would like us to stop using the N word on the podcast. It means. You know what? Let's take a break and I'm gonna tell you why.

[B]

Let's take a break. If you're watching this, you a nigga. We break this.

[A]

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[B]

Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[A]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[B]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[A]

Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was

[B]

a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know,

[A]

and it thinks about the customer more than anything.

[B]

Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it

[A]

to me because it's so easy to use.

[B]

It's like, I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free [e-mail].

[A]

i don't want you to use the N word anymore.

[B]

That's not. I'll hear you out.

[A]

Go ahead. That's it.

[B]

The other day, calls on a faggot on stage last night, which was really tickled me.

[A]

It was so funny. So Andy's really weird about the use of the faggot. And when you said it, I mean, it was like a bodily. Also, the way you said it, Bob, it was very harsh. You were like, these faggots in the house.

[B]

No, what I said was. No, what I said was. You are.

[A]

Did you do a bump last night? You were wild last night.

[B]

What I said was, hey, guys, I want you all to, like. There's this cue. You say, soul. Play some music. I was like, we should do it all together. And I was like, so what's gonna happen is I'm gonna say having a collector next. And then you all will say, soul. And then the faggot over here will press play. They're gonna start laughing. I was like, I'm just assuming because you kind of look like a faggot. But anyway, I thought it was funny.

[A]

I thought it was funny too. But I'm like,

[B]

I love pushing the limits on stage. I like a lot too.

[A]

You were very funny also.

[B]

Before we get into our topic, too, I wanna talk about a little topic. People are always shocked that I don't. I was hanging out with someone and they were like, hey, do you want. Do you want to. Do you want some K? And I was like, no.

[A]

Like, no. I. I had some breakfast already.

[B]

I said, no, thank you. But I always say, but thanks for the offer. And then. Or I say. I used to say the things where I say thank you. The sentiment is not lost on me, but thank you. And then usually one person who, like, knows me well would be like, bob doesn't drink or do drugs. Bob does. Bob doesn't do that stuff. So, like, don't. They're, like taking a bullet. Bob just. I'll take it. I'm like, all right. You don't have to. Like, I'm not gonna relapse if someone offers you. Or will I? But like, yeah, I'm not gonna relap. But people really. When you don't drink or do drugs, people really be like, I have to save you. Don't you ever offer Bob drugs ever again. I mean, because he's not into that kind of stuff.

[A]

See, people don't.

[B]

And people are shocked that I don't do drugs.

[A]

People don't offer me drugs like that. Why? I just seem so wholesome.

[B]

Maybe you kind of seem like a snitch.

[A]

That seems so wholesome.

[B]

Do you think you might look like a snitch? Like, you. Like, you'd go tell the cops?

[A]

No, I think that's what it is. Yeah. What topic? What's the topic, bitch? I'll let you pick. Whatever you want to talk about. I'll talk about today.

[B]

Billionaires.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Are you really?

[A]

If you want to.

[B]

Oh, my God. Why do people are always shocked that I don't do drugs? Because I. Do I seem high?

[A]

Do I seem high?

[B]

Do I seem high?

[A]

I think that people just think all drag queens, because we're in nightlife, that we do narcotics.

[B]

There was also back when I had dreadlocks every.

[A]

What?

[B]

Dreadlocks. Oh, dreadlocks would always walk up to me and go, what do we eat all the time?

[A]

Well, that's just a. That's just a. That's a little racist. If people think they're all prejudice, those black people, too.

[B]

I mean, it doesn't make it not racist, but, yeah. What a weed at. I was like, I. I don't know. I don't have the answer to that question.

[A]

Who would think all people would weed? Especially back in the 2000s, they think all people would weed.

[B]

We're still in the 2000s.

[A]

Well, early 2000s.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what year you think it is.

[A]

They think that all true with dreadlocks are they listen to Bob Marley and smoke weed all day.

[B]

I like one Bob Marley song.

[A]

It's a big stereotype. What is this love? Are you sure it's the name of which one? Sing it. Let me hear.

[B]

I don't think they say, I want to love you and treat you right. I don't think the name is called Is this Love? Is this Love?

[A]

I don't think that's the title of

[B]

love that I'm feeling.

[A]

I think it might be I'm feeling.

[B]

I think it's called Is this Love? It is called Is this Love?

[A]

Oh,

[B]

can you apologize?

[A]

No. That's the only one you like.

[B]

This is not the song.

[A]

That's the wrong key.

[B]

I don't want to like. It's one I really, really like. Listen to it.

[A]

Oh, that's the right key.

[B]

Treat you right I wanna love you

[A]

do you think, do you think.

[B]

Do you think every day and every night.

[A]

Do you think about. Marley likes baggage people? No, not in a little bit.

[B]

I. I really. I have to not think about that.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I don't think MLK like this either. We ready to get canceled, everyone?

[A]

What?

[B]

I don't think MLK would've liked us either.

[A]

You don't think so?

[B]

No.

[A]

He's a preacher.

[B]

He's from Georgia.

[A]

From Georgia? Yeah.

[B]

Like, that's the thing.

[A]

Like, you think about, like, some of these people and you're like, you gotta

[B]

not think about it.

[A]

I know. Malcolm X.

[B]

Malcolm X was a little boosie of his time.

[A]

Rosa Parks.

[B]

No, Rosa Parks would have been cool.

[A]

How? You know, I'm just assuming.

[B]

She just seems. She seemed cool. Harriet Tubman would have not. I don't think she would have liked the gays. I really don't see it for Herod Tubman, who is, like, the most devout Christian of all time.

[A]

I think Booker T. Would have been with us. I think Booker T. Was a girl.

[B]

I think Sojourner Truth.

[A]

Sojourner Truth. Oh, she. Oh, Madam C.J.

[B]

walker. Girl we would have been living with.

[A]

Madam C.J.

[B]

madam C.J. duck Walker. Madam C.J. he see Madam J. D walk. C. And Madam C stands for welcome

[A]

to fuck with the gays. Hard bodies. I'm. Hard bodies.

[B]

Yeah. This is stuff I want to talk about for a very long time.

[A]

This is because Jacob is cracking up.

[B]

We gotta take it together. Jacob.

[A]

Never.

[B]

Last time I jokes like this.

[A]

We need a studio audio. Let me pull up this topic, too.

[B]

You know, we have one computer, Monet.

[A]

Well, you like to hog the computer. And I don't ever want.

[B]

It's my computer, and I offered to use it with you before, and you're like, I'll use my own. You always use it.

[A]

I don't think that's how that works.

[B]

Roll the footage, people. Anyway, do you. Are you. Do you believe in eating the rich? Do you know. So you know the phrase eat the rich?

[A]

I do know the phrase eating the rich.

[B]

You know where it comes from?

[A]

I don't. It's.

[B]

You know why people do that? I can also just tell you, but I'm, like, quizzing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you know where it come from?

[A]

Well, Bob, this is you. This is not white people. This is why People. You're people.

[B]

Hi, I'm people. Why do folks do this? Hi, I'm folks.

[A]

I know you do sometimes. It's from some French guy, right?

[B]

Yeah. It's like when there's nothing else. I don't even know. It's like when there's no. That's Mary Antoinette. When there's nothing left to eat, they will eat the rich. Oh, eat the Rich quote. It's like when they run out of food, they'll eat the rich or something like that. It is when the people have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich. Work and Eat the Rich has become like, kind of like a chant for.

[A]

In the past, like, two years, it's become very popular.

[B]

Eat the Rich has become a whole

[A]

thing because of people like aoc. AOC has really been. She has really catapulted. Not catapulted, but because of her stances and. And how she. Her stance on billionaires in the government. She's like, bitch, tax the rich. Eat the rich.

[B]

Well, she was really. People were kind of coming for her because she was at the Met Gala. Met Gala, amongst the rich, talking about some tax the rich. Like, bitch, you tax rich. Hi, I'm rich.

[A]

Well, I was going to say, would you think it would have been a more. The statement would have been even bigger, more powerful if she. At the Met Gala, because, you know, there were people, like, there were Black Lives Matter people protesting outside the Met Gala, like, getting arrested. Like, a full prot. If she got out of, like, rolled up to the thing. Like, she drove herself. She came to the Met Gala, got out of her car in this beautiful gown, everything, and went to go protest with the people with that same thing. I feel like that would have been a bigger. A bigger statement.

[B]

It would have been, but then she wouldn't have been in the Megala.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Apparently, no one even stays in the Met Gala.

[A]

What do you mean stays?

[B]

Like, you know, there's like a thing. There's like a whole thing that happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Apparently people don't stay.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Because they get this. Then they go change into offers for the other parties.

[B]

But, like, no one actually goes to the Met. Like, they. They just walk the red carpet, go into the room, mingle for a little bit, then, like, leave before. Like, they're also all in massive outfits.

[A]

Oh, no one's comfortable trying to sit

[B]

at tables and shit.

[A]

But we do it well.

[B]

We're not sitting at tables. We're sitting on, like, bar stools. On the side of the stage. So and so and so and so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But anyway. But people are like coming for her. And you know, of course, Bunny Sanders.

[A]

There we go. Hi. Yeah. Chop, chop, chop.

[B]

Black and blue girl,

[A]

I want to get you. When it was early before I started bruising up.

[B]

I love what Bernie Sanders songs. And we know about Senator Bo Sanders. He's also very much into like tax the rich.

[A]

Yeah. And

[B]

do you believe you can ethically be a billionaire?

[A]

I think that there is. Again, when you're a billionaire

[B]

of a

[A]

Fortune 500 company or whatever it is, whatever the thing is that you did to attain that wealth, there's no way that you can oversee every single part of the business. It is impossible.

[B]

Well, everyone who's a billionaire is not over Fortune 500.

[A]

No. But whatever the company is that got you to that point or whatever the business is, that is that is contributing to your. Like Rihanna for Fenty.

[B]

For.

[A]

For Fenty. There's no way Rihanna can oversee every part of the business to make sure that is running ethically. That's why you hire CFOs and all the other things to make sure things are running smoothly.

[B]

Not one entering one business term CFOs. And.

[A]

And you can be the CEO and not the owner.

[B]

Would you like CFOs and what else they got? There's CEOs, the chief executive officer, the CFO of a chief financial officer, the vp, the director of chairman of the board, the director of operations.

[A]

Okay, but you're not the only one that knows shit.

[B]

You see that you were like CFO and the.

[A]

I'm also thinking about the rest of my. Anyway, though you can always see everything. So you hire these people and trust that they are doing things ethically. But I think things fall through the crack. Through the cracks. Does Rihanna want to run a business that may be unethical in some places? I don't think. I mean, I. I choose to believe that she doesn't. But I think that it is impossible that you can sustain that. And there aren't things that fall through the crack that make you unethical.

[B]

Do you think that we should tax billionaire? I think that the idea of taxing billionaires out of existence.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Like, you tax them. So. And one of the reasons Monet wanted to take a. Like get a pro in here. Because we will say so. We are not. We are not accountants. We are not. We don't work for the irs. We do not know the laws.

[A]

I do not know my word bitch. My. Our financial advisor Be talking to me and our tax people and I'd be bitch by two sentences in I am glossed. I am falling asleep.

[B]

Did you quit?

[A]

Yeah, that was a gag.

[B]

We were financially like, yeah, I quit.

[A]

Like, it like glazes over me. So I wanted to have an expertise. But Bob was like, Monet, we don't need one. We'll make it work.

[B]

Well, oh yeah, I think we will. I mean, we don't. We get stuff wrong all the time. I mean, the thing they got most mad about when we called the Harry Potter movie the wrong one, that was when everyone really went crazy. Right. I got the wrong Harry Potter movie together anyway, so. But after a certain amount of money, you get tax breaks. And then after the next time you get, you get, you keep getting tax breaks. The richer you are, the less you pay in taxes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So a lot of people know that don't.

[A]

Because the theory is that the more you make and you're still paying.

[B]

Not quite. I know it's kind of like trickle down economics. Even though most people are, have made it clear that trickle down economics is not a thing. And I don't think it's really under the guise of like stimulating the economy. I think it's really just under being like, oh my God, this is so much money. Like, I will say this, I make more money now than I did 10 years ago. And when I paid tax, I was like, this is, this is a lot of money, bitch. And they really be wanting it all at one time.

[A]

Give us our money right now, like

[B]

right now or we're sending the cops.

[A]

We'll be in jail. You next to Wesley Snipes?

[B]

Yeah. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200, girl. So I was like, this is so much money. And I think that once you start making like, once you start making millions and billions of dollars, that number probably seems in astronomical. So you use your wealth, your influence, your power to affect change so you don't have to pay all that money in taxes, you hide it in investment thing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Put it in property, you put it overseas, you, you find all these little legal loopholes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So like don't. And also like. So you know about the thing where Donald Trump hadn't paid taxes in 25.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because he claimed like over a billion dollars in bankruptcy. And if you like apparently I don't know the law, but if you, if you lose like that much money, you basically get 25 years tax free to make it up.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

So in the past 25 years, the lady who works at McDonald's, paid more in taxes than Donald Trump.

[A]

Donald Trump. Which is wild.

[B]

And that's just. That's just one of the loopholes in the system. And I think that we have to tax those people at a fair and not just. Not just these billionaires, but like the fact that churches don't pay taxes.

[A]

I don't agree with that.

[B]

Is.

[A]

And the past would be out here in mega trillionaire mansions driving all the cars. It's like, how is.

[B]

What's his name? Joel Osteen.

[A]

Joel, bitch. Joel Osteen needs to go to jail.

[B]

Joel Osteen. Yeah. Do not pass go. He is. There is something afoot.

[A]

Oh, for sure.

[B]

Whatever he's going on is like.

[A]

Something's going on.

[B]

It's like, what's the name's face?

[A]

Scarlett. So you. So you agree?

[B]

I didn't say nothing.

[A]

You. You. I remember. Yes. Joel Osteen has something going on in his operation. I don't know if it's ethical.

[B]

He's not paying.

[A]

If it's financial something.

[B]

So Texas, like, people got a lot of money. You know this. I hate you a lot when we talk. This is crazy. Oh, my God. People pay a lot of money in taxes. And he has. You know, when you're a pastor, you beat the system. So not only does he not pay taxes, his business does not pay taxes. They don't have to justify their expenditures. They don't have to justify what they pay. What they pay for things. So when the pastor. Where the fuck does a pastor need to go on a private jet where

[A]

Bitch, you should be riding. Don't even upgrade your ass. Southwest Delta has to have a South S. Bitch, you are a C35 by the toilet. Like, where? Why do you need to fight private? I guess because everyone would be like,

[B]

don't give a fuck. Anybody. I mean, you know, honestly, a lot of people do. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about Joel Olsteen. Joel Olstin could be in this room. And I'd be like, who is that?

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, he looks rich. If he went to the airport, everyone would be like, I'm sick and I need. I'm sure that's probably why I need what they want.

[B]

Prayers N. Give me your money. If Joel Osteen. If I got sick and that nigga said he's praying for me, I would fucking fight immediately. I don't need thoughts and prayers. I need pain kills and penicillin. Give me my shit now.

[A]

You know that song Pills and Potions by Nicki Minaj Nar have you seen the thing? It's a YouTube video. It talks about why it breaks down. Why Monster is one of the greatest rap verses of all time. Not for a woman. One of the greatest rap verses of all time. And I was like, this is true. This is brilliant. It's so good.

[B]

Pull up in that. Should we try to break it down together? Pull up in that monster automobile.

[A]

Gangster.

[B]

Now I think she means like a monster truck.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With a bad. That came from Sri Lanka. She used a little slant rhyme to rhyme Sri Lanka with gangster and probably like a. Yeah, I'm in that Tonka. Color of Willy Wonka.

[A]

She was all pink and purple and

[B]

she's on the top like a car.

[A]

Yeah, like. No, like the Tonka, but like the kid one because, you know, she was very bubblegum and like anime. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's on color. On the one. You can be the king and I watch the queen conquer. She's like, I'm. I'm in my own. Okay, first things first.

[A]

I'll eat your brains.

[B]

Meaning, like I will get your knowledge,

[A]

I'll get your smarts.

[B]

Then I'm gonna start rocking gold teeth and fangs. I think that's pretty self. Yeah, that's what a monster do. Hairdresser from Milan. That's the monster do. That's really great. Like I have a hairdresser from. Like, that's the. The, like that's the. Like it's a hairdo. A monster do.

[A]

Uhhuh.

[B]

So cuz that's what a monster do. Hairdresser from Milan. That's the monster do. Monster Giuseppe heel. That's the monster shoe.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which is the shoe that Lady Gaga wore in Bad Romance. It's called a monster heel. Whatever. Is it? Yeah.

[A]

I think that's a McQueen shoe.

[B]

I think it's. Is it McQueen?

[A]

That's McQueen.

[B]

What did I say?

[A]

You said just. You said monster.

[B]

Giuseppe Hills. Monster.

[A]

But at that time, Giuseppe. The Giuseppe Zenotti shoes. Oh, everyone was rapping about having Giuseppe.

[B]

Giuseppe.

[A]

G I, U S E P P I G I, U S E P P I.

[B]

Is that really how you spell it? Yeah. Why do you know how to spell Giuseppe?

[A]

Because I'm Italian.

[B]

Oh my God. That's the monster. Giuseppe Hill.

[A]

Yeah. Without the heel.

[B]

Okay. Monster Giuseppe Hill. That's a monster shoe.

[A]

Your money is a monster.

[B]

In the Monster crew. She.

[A]

So she's. She's on the roster of the, like the biggest, baddest, scariest crew.

[B]

Yeah. I'm all up, all up, all up in the bank with the funny face

[A]

like she's about to rob the bank

[B]

and if I'm fake, I ain't noticed because my money ate her.

[A]

Money ain't fake.

[B]

Wait, let me give this straight weight.

[A]

I'm the rookie but my features in my show.

[B]

10 times your pay. Like, so for my. Just for me being on. On a feature or just do a

[A]

live show, it's 10 times what you make, bitch.

[B]

Yeah. 10 times your pay. 50k for a verse. No album.

[A]

She had no album out. But you're making $50,000 a verse, and

[B]

she was doing a verse every week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wonder how much Jeffree star paid her for that verse.

[A]

I wonder how much. I wonder how. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

50k for a verse.

[A]

No album out yet. My money's so tall that my Barbie's got to climb it. Hotter than the middle eastern climate, which is. It's very hot there. It's very odd.

[B]

Wait, who. Okay, if you and I were to pool our resources and pay for a verse from someone, who would we.

[A]

Cardi. But I think you love Cardi.

[B]

I think Cardi's a little more than

[A]

50k at this point, but we. But we're saying if we can pull our money together.

[B]

But will we. Will we recoup our investment?

[A]

I think we would. I think if you and I put

[B]

our money together and he's got one verse from Cardi.

[A]

From Cardi on a song, bitch. Let's reach out to her. Let's do it. Should we do it?

[B]

She makes. I feel like she asked for so

[A]

much money, but we'll see. What, Bob, we don't know. She may be like, you know what?

[B]

You know what, Bob?

[A]

I like you, Bob.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

We're his show.

[B]

We're tweeting.

[A]

I know she like, I'll do it for you for $10, man.

[B]

But. And we still report, and I still want five. If she'll pay for $10, I still want $5. Honey, that is crazy. Like, okay, wait. Who's more attainable but still crazy.

[A]

Could we see Cardi and Nikki?

[B]

No. Like, someone like, not as. Like, those are the two. Meg, I feel like Megan would do it for. Like you think Megan would do for 50k? I think Megan.

[A]

I think for us, she would do for 50k. Should we get Megan? I do something with Megan.

[B]

Why don't we reach out to Megan? This.

[A]

I'm working with her designer right now.

[B]

I will pay. What do you want for verse? I will pay it.

[A]

Yes. I'm literally working with Brian right now.

[B]

Let's get a Verse from Megan, the song together. How much would you pay to get her in the video? That's funny.

[A]

I mean, listen. Okay, so here's the thing. We do. Because we have to get the song done.

[B]

Everyone tag Megan.

[A]

Yeah, we have to get the song done. We put down our parts, how it works, and then we'll send it to her with the space. Whether we're thinking about her and she likes it, she gives the price. And then we got the song, and

[B]

we have to be like, well, what's the price for you to be in the video? Like, we need to get you in, bitch.

[A]

Can you image you, me and Megan all in the same outfits, twerking on our knees, like, getting wild Girl next

[B]

to me, you shield like Megan the Pony. Meggie. Megan the shetland.

[A]

Bob, this is a. Let's do it.

[B]

All right, Megan, listen.

[A]

Okay, Bob, we keep on saying stuff. We keep on agreeing.

[B]

The pot, the. The.

[A]

The pageant, bitch. We can't even commit to having videos in each episode or pictures. We have to do this one.

[B]

But also, y', all, we. We have to, like, like, help us get our money back. I've never had a song make that much money. Yes, they make, like, decent money, but it helps. It's like a calling card. It helps perpetuate your career.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Gets you out there, gets you gigs. It keeps your name in the air. But this one would have to recoup, bitch.

[A]

If we did a song with Mega Salvage, we would.

[B]

It would be like. This is crazy.

[A]

It would be crazy.

[B]

We can get someone like Flo Milli, real easy. No dislike. Okay?

[A]

I mean, that's nothing. We can do that.

[B]

I realize you were like, this sounded. This sounded shady.

[A]

Sounded shady. It was shady, Bob. It sounded.

[B]

I said that sounded shady.

[A]

I think we can get mad with this.

[B]

All I'm saying is that Flo Millie is not as shady. I don't think Flo Millie is Throw Millie. Shit. He live on a clap form. Shaking my ass in these platforms.

[A]

I would say we can get city girls, but I feel like Meghan is a bigger get.

[B]

Oh, Megan is a bigger get. Yeah, for sure.

[A]

She's a bigger get.

[B]

She's a Grammy award winner. She's like, Megan Italian.

[A]

I'm obsessed with Megan Italian. I literally can't stop looking at her Instagram. And Megan is also. She's a supporter of the community, and

[B]

we both work at Coach. Why do you always turn your head like that? I saw her at the holiday party.

[A]

Jacob, is it time for another break? Because I can't Monet how are you

[B]

trying to take a break when it's not time for one?

[A]

We're taking a break.

[B]

All these, like, women. These, like, famous women are like. Like, imagine if all of them get together. Let's, like, get there, get their. Hold on. Bell, Khalees, Beyonce.

[A]

What are you. What are you doing?

[B]

I'm just thinking, like, hold on. So you have Bell, Khalees, Beyonce, Amala, and then some lady named Megan. Like, all these famous musicians, like Adele, Bell, Khalis, Amala, Beyonce. And then she's like. And my name's Megan. She's. I mean, Beyonce and Adele give her name, but, like, she's the one who was like, oh, no, I'm keeping. I'm using my real name.

[A]

Is that her real name?

[B]

Her real name is Megan. She was born in 1995.

[A]

Wow. Megan's only five years younger than me.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Okay, so that means Megan is 26.

[B]

Megan is 26 years old.

[A]

Whoa. Okay.

[B]

You know Saweetie?

[A]

Saweetie, That's City Girls. Oh, no, Saweetie is not City Girls.

[B]

Sweetie is a cute face, fat ass nigga. Tap in.

[A]

How do you. Bob does not. Y'. All. Bob does not know about Caresha. I'm sorry. I don't know her name. But the city girl, I don't think you know about it either. No, because she hates. Cause everyone calls about her government name, and she hates that. Oh, I think her name is jt. Who? The City Girls.

[B]

I don't know the city Girls like that. One of them. That's from the sauce in Santana flew out. And that's one of their names? No, it's like one of their things. They were like, famously, like, I got flew out. No, they had a contest, like a twerking contest. The number one's getting flew out.

[A]

Okay, well, wait.

[B]

She doesn't like people by her government.

[A]

She hates it because saucy her and saucy Santana do lies all the time,

[B]

and he calls her by her government,

[A]

so obviously fans start doing it, and she's like, stop calling me by my government. And y' all don't know me. It's very. That black girls hate people calling them by the kamika.

[B]

Young. Young Miami.

[A]

Young Miami.

[B]

Her and born by a name we should not say.

[A]

The word is C. Right?

[B]

Yeah, Though. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Her name.

[A]

Yeah. Huh? She hates that whole name. You know, there's a famous opera singer.

[B]

Is it rude to say it's on the Internet?

[A]

Yeah, you can say her name.

[B]

Carisha, Ramika, Brownlee.

[A]

There's a famous opera singer Larry Roundley, who is like a. Do you think they're related?

[B]

Could you imagine?

[A]

Imagine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My niece. My niece Karisha.

[B]

Imagine. Young Miami is like, yeah, my uncle is a famous opera singer. Whatever. Probably that's. I don't know why I gave her a New York accent. She's Miami. She probably doesn't have it. Only says one of their names. Young Miami.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is. I. I. I do vibe with the idea of, like, I don't like people. I do not. I do like people coming to being like, hi, Chris. I'm like, don't do that.

[A]

Because it just.

[B]

I have no problem with people acknowledging that my. Like, if someone's like, oh, Bob's real name. Bob's legal name is Christopher Caldwell.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That doesn't bother me. But someone being like, oh, Chris. Hi, Chris. I'd be like, don't do that. But don't be in public being like. Or someone goes, so you're just.

[A]

So you're honest. You're just like, young Miami.

[B]

I am Young Miami. I am. I am Young Miami. But, like, you have some people in probably like, hi, Monet. Or should I say Kevin?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

How does that feel?

[A]

I just hated a club, specifically at clubs, when I. When I. When I used to be in clubs. I was just in clubs in September. But dad doesn't feel like in, like, a crowded club. They're like, hi, Kevin.

[B]

Ugh.

[A]

Like, girl, get out of here.

[B]

Especially. Especially if I'm in full drag.

[A]

Yeah. In full drag. Which I had to. Oh, my God. You. And I had to clock Andy last night.

[B]

Remember, girl,

[A]

I was like, you cannot do that.

[B]

Yeah, Andy. Fran was drag queen.

[A]

What's her name? Selena Cities, who's a big. She's a patron.

[B]

Oh. And Andy was like, this is Karisha.

[A]

And I was like, no.

[B]

Is that Karisha? Kevin.

[A]

Chris, you cannot, in drag, do not ever call a drag queen by their slave name. You call them by.

[B]

I love slave name.

[A]

You call them by their drag name. They're in drag.

[B]

Yes. You do have an androgynous version of your drag name.

[A]

I do, yeah. Mo. Yeah, I use Mo a lot.

[B]

How do you go? People calling you Mo out of drag?

[A]

Like, I feel like that's too familiar. Like, you and like, my friends. Yeah, that's too familiar. I'm like, bitch, you don't know me. I'm Monet.

[B]

Call me by Monet.

[A]

Call me by Monet.

[B]

We have talked very little about billionaires.

[A]

Let's jump back in.

[B]

I actually like where this is going. So what? So my Thing is, like, how do you feel about. What do you want to be called if someone just saw you on the street and recognized you? You're not a drag.

[A]

I was just telling Annie this. I've only recently started calling people. Like, introducing myself as Kevin.

[B]

That feels weird to me. And I'm Monet being like, my name's Kevin.

[A]

Well, to, like, their friend, it's because you're dating someone. Yeah. And I don't want.

[B]

And they don't. They don't. When you date someone, they don't all. They don't all know who's dragging. They're like, why is your name Mon?

[A]

You know what I mean? So I'm like, this is very. I've never do that. It's very new.

[B]

I usually introduce myself as Bob because Caldwell is sometime mistaken for Pablo.

[A]

That was one time Bob.

[B]

Nope, it's not one time. People hear Pablo a lot. I'm telling you. It's a thing I remember. So I told someone, I get Pablo phonetically. It doesn't make sense, but I go, what's your name? Caldwell. Pablo.

[A]

And I go, c. C?

[B]

Me nombre es Pablo. And Bob is an androgynous name. Yeah, Bob is actually not an androgynous name. What kind of Bobby. Bobby's a. Bobby's a pronoun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I just really identify with being going by Bob. But my partners both call me Caldwell.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And my partner's family is calling me Caldwell. Right.

[A]

Have you ever met, like, Ezra or Jacob's friends that don't know you in Dragon, do you say Bobby? You say Caldwell usually.

[B]

But I mean, they're friends. They introduce me.

[A]

So Jacob.

[B]

Jacob will go, yeah, this Caldwell. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It's like a weird thing.

[B]

Jacob calls me Caldwell. Jacob will every once in a while say Bob. But we're often in, like, professional settings. He'll be like, oh, yeah. So today the show is going to be Peppermint, Monae, Shea and Caldwell in the past, which doesn't bother me at all because that's how in the past,

[A]

like, year, I feel like I've heard Jacob called you Caldwell a lot. But, like, when. I feel like when I first met Jacob, when you first hang out, he's called you Bob.

[B]

I think he was doing it trying to make people to try to, like, say what everyone else saying. You know what? I do not like when someone tries to let you know they know a drag queen by calling them by their slave, that is. But also, I don't know why queens, like, I think Bianca's really into being called Roy these days.

[A]

Oh, is she?

[B]

I think because folks, folks, that's the one name people love to drop. I was just hanging out with Roy.

[A]

With Roy. They do. That is so true.

[B]

It's like something about Bianca. People love being like, well, me and

[A]

Roy are good friends. That is true.

[B]

Why is that?

[A]

That is true. Because people look at Bianca as, like, the pinnacle of Drag Race success. And if you're cool with Bianca, that means that you're on the in and in. So, like, saying that, you know, Roy means, like, I know everything about you. I watch your journey in drag.

[B]

I know all about it. Me and Roy were just talking, so.

[A]

And they feel like, so hoity toity that they call Bianca Roy.

[B]

I don't know why it annoys me.

[A]

I'm like. I call her Bianca.

[B]

Yeah. Literally. I mean. But I think it's like a drag sister thing. Like, especially New York. New York drag queens, I realize, call each other by their drag names across the board.

[A]

Oh, for sure.

[B]

No matter where they are. Serious, angry, happy, fighting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You call yourself by your dragon name. San Francisco. They be. They be introducing someone under two names, do they? Peaches. My name is Peaches. Or Josh.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

New York. I have some New York queens I've known for years. I do not know their boy name.

[B]

Girl.

[A]

I'm trying to think of what's. What's what. Do you know Holly's boy name?

[B]

Holly Day?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Like, Carl.

[B]

I have no clue.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

I don't. I don't know. Trent.

[A]

Trent.

[B]

So we're playing a game. I'm gonna read the name of a drag race girl, and you're gonna see if you know her boy name. Is it a race, too? Yeah, it could be a race.

[A]

We can alternate because race is gonna be messy. Bob. Y' all know Bob Competition.

[B]

So you're gonna do real name, and we're gonna do. I'm gonna do drag name, and we're gonna say they're. They're.

[A]

Oh, no. I feel easy to do boy names. And we'll say you do their.

[B]

If you do their real name, then we will say who the queen is.

[A]

Okay, you can go first. I'll let you go first.

[B]

Thank you. Who is. Is Ross? Matthew McCorkle. It's Ross Matthews.

[A]

No, Rose Monet.

[B]

Rose's name is Ross Matthews.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wait, real funny story. Last night. Rose does this number? Let me explain the number to you. We were, like, going over the things in the beginning, I was like. Well, I was, like, practicing the little, like, how they lost their lives. And I was like, she's like, mary Queen of Scots. And she goes, no, this number's not Mary Queen of Scots. Did she? Yes. She was not kidding. She goes, no, I know it. But this number has nothing to do with Mary Queen of Scott. And I was like, well, you're. You're. You're a queen. Yeah, yeah. You. You have red hair. Yeah, yeah. It's in that little.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You're wearing that collar. Yeah, yeah. Your head's cut off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You marry Queen of Scots.

[A]

Anyway, one for Monet. Ross.

[B]

Not Ross Matthews. All right. Kristen Sieber. Oh, that's Tina Burner. Yeah, that's too easy. We're racing.

[A]

We're not racing. Oh, you race?

[B]

Yeah, we racing. Do you know Jeremy Bear?

[A]

Jeremy Berry?

[B]

Beard.

[A]

Jeremy Beard.

[B]

That's Robbie Turner.

[A]

That's not fair. That's on his season.

[B]

Okay, okay. Ros used to be your employee. You. You were signing checks to Ross Matthews. Ross Matthews Jr. Who? Will Crawford.

[A]

Will Crawford.

[B]

Crawford. I have no clue.

[A]

Will Crawford also Jacob also. They're like over 300 queens.

[B]

Who is that? Will Crawford is Ms. Tamisha Iman.

[A]

Yeah, I don't want to know that one. Thank God.

[B]

Okay. Cordero, Matthew Zuckerman.

[A]

They black Cordero. No, that's Cordero's not black.

[B]

No.

[A]

Cordero sound black, but Zuckerman I don't. I did not know one black Zuckerman ever.

[B]

That's true. Yeah, they don't let black Zuck. Cordero. I'm gonna say they're black. I'm gonna say Cordero is. They are from season 13. Ooh. Oh, that's Lala Ri. No, this the one with the booty A'. Keria. That is Denali.

[A]

Denali's not season 13. You are RuPaul. Oh, yeah, that's Jada. Says hall from season two.

[B]

She's 13. I didn't say 13. She said 13.

[A]

Oh, you said 13.

[B]

No, she said 13.

[A]

Oh, no. But you said the wrong queen.

[B]

You said I did. Well, you did, too,

[A]

like Spider Man.

[B]

She doesn't look like a Cordero.

[A]

She does not look a Cordero.

[B]

Donald's kind of hot.

[A]

That her name is hot Denali. These are the pictures she posted. I'm like, where is Denali?

[B]

Well, she's the one that did her makeup.

[A]

No, that's that diva story that. Well, hold on. We're going to put it. Who did Jasmine Rice? I look nothing like Jasmine.

[B]

Oh, Is it a photographer or the makeup person?

[A]

She's a photographer and a makeup person.

[B]

And she also did Kimora.

[A]

She did Kimora home. That picture.

[B]

Kimora with that head piece on, like a cap.

[A]

We're gonna throw this picture on the screen because y' all had. Are we? Oh, is this Jasmine Rice to you?

[B]

I mean, when you say it. No, that's not Jasmine rice.

[A]

That is like, what that looks like.

[B]

What's her name? It looks like Dick.

[A]

Nechoche.

[B]

Dicknoche.

[A]

When Jasmine posted it, I was like, jasmine who?

[B]

I was like, ding the Shay. Thicker than a Seneka. But Jasmine rice has actually slimmed down.

[A]

She has.

[B]

All right, who's that next one? All right, this is a Queen from season 12, Trevin Anthony Cheek. Trevin. Season 12. Who won 12? Oh, Yvie.

[A]

Oh, no, it's not. No, that's season 11.

[B]

Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up, Jacob. Trev. Trevin, 12. Jada.

[A]

No, that's not Jada's name. Jada's name is not.

[B]

No, that's who she won as well.

[A]

Yeah, Trevin.

[B]

Trevin's black.

[A]

Trevin is black. And who are the black queens in that season, Trevin? I can't remember. I don't know. Bitch. The only black queen I know is Jada.

[B]

Who is that? Who is Trevin? That's Heidi in closet.

[A]

Oh, Heidi

[B]

coming over.

[A]

She Trevin as hell.

[B]

Hey, can Monet come out and play?

[A]

Yeah, that's it. Let's do one more.

[B]

You know. You know how these go to people do say, can someone come out and play?

[A]

Oh, for sure. All the Ramsard. North Carolina. Rams. Ramsur.

[B]

North Carolina. Who is Matthew Sanderson?

[A]

Oh, Detox.

[B]

Oh, that is Detox. Okay, how about like the queens we know? You know Kim's name?

[A]

Kim is Sang Sang Hyung.

[B]

Sang Young Shin.

[A]

Sang Young Shin.

[B]

Naomi Davis.

[A]

Happenstahl.

[B]

Heppenstahl.

[A]

Heppenstahl.

[B]

You said happen.

[A]

Is it Heppen?

[B]

David Heppenstahl.

[A]

Davis. Davis.

[B]

Hep.

[A]

Install Hep and Stahl.

[B]

How about. Do you know Plastique's name?

[A]

I don't know Plastique's name. Wow, you know.

[B]

You don't know either. It's not just Matt Plastique.

[A]

That's not true. That is not true.

[B]

I mean, we just started hanging out.

[A]

No, that's not true either. What's Plastique's name? That's Plastique Government.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I don't know Plastique.

[B]

Wow, it's plastic.

[A]

I don't know Plastique.

[B]

Imagine if Plastique's real name was Plastic Plus. Hold on. She probably harder. Plastique. She probably one of the folks who kept her. Keep her name hidden. Plastique's name is Tran.

[A]

I did know that. I didn't know that. Do you know Aquarius?

[B]

Giovanni?

[A]

What's the last name?

[B]

Palandrini.

[A]

Palandrani.

[B]

Palandrani.

[A]

Dino got mixed.

[B]

Kade Gottlieb. Yeah, because Gottmix, all of her friends call her Kade.

[A]

Yeah, they all do.

[B]

They're all like, Kade. Cause you know what Gottmik said to me? I was like, Kate. I was like, Kade. I did not say Kade. I said, mick, you were like, so good. She goes, girl, gorge. I just became a professional drag queen. She was like, before Drag Race, I performed like twice.

[A]

That's what she told me. And she was like. She was like, none of my. She said tonight, none of my friends have ever seen me perform. I was like, what?

[B]

Yeah, she was like, girl, I just became a professional drag queen.

[A]

I was great. I used to perform like. Like.

[B]

And she was like, two or three times before Drag Race, I was like, honestly, serve.

[A]

She was. She turned it. And the number was. It was really great. She was giving me sex. It was hot.

[B]

Who else is a close friend of ours? Derek Barry.

[A]

Derek Berry. Yes, Derek. Okay, Cameron Michaels.

[B]

Okay, I have one. No clue.

[A]

Cameron Michaels.

[B]

Her name is not Cameron Michaels.

[A]

It is.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

It is.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Look it up.

[B]

Do you know who John Ingle is? That's John Engle.

[A]

Lady Bunny. Yeah.

[B]

Dane Young.

[A]

Oh, Dane,

[B]

You are so crazy.

[A]

Do you know what was Mayhem? I feel like Mayhem has a black ass.

[B]

It's probably like Carde show. Like.

[A]

I know I've heard it before.

[B]

And it's like a. It is a.

[A]

A. It's a black man.

[B]

It is a. A very black name.

[A]

I love Daquan Johnson. Yes. Yes. Daquan, bitch.

[B]

Daquan.

[A]

Oh, yeah, not me saying, like, Jacob Daquan. You know what? She is Daquan Down.

[B]

Daquan Johnson. Was it Johnson?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is the blackest name. I'm gonna go on a limb and say there is not a blacker name in the Drag race data.

[A]

I think Asians might be black too.

[B]

Really Black Thorgy.

[A]

Shane Gallagher.

[B]

Yeah. Shane Thor Gallag. Gallic. Galligan.

[A]

Galligan.

[B]

As your hair is. Antoine Lee. It's old black, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, Antoine. That's a cousin name. That's my cousin Antoine. All right, this is now what you're talking about. Now we're just. All right, that was I like that little game.

[A]

That was cute. So do you think, what will you name your kids?

[B]

So who's the richest person you ask? I would if I had a kid. I really love the name Genevieve. What's so funny?

[A]

Genevieve.

[B]

It's a beautiful name.

[A]

It's beautiful for the. For the 16th century.

[B]

And this child can be Jenny or Jen.

[A]

Genevieve.

[B]

Genevieve.

[A]

Genevieve.

[B]

Genevieve is a beautiful name.

[A]

Isn't that something from Camelot? No, that's Guinevere.

[B]

What's wrong with Genevieve?

[A]

That is. You're the one who always going off in your special about how all the women in your family have old names. Like Martha.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm throwing into Genevieve.

[A]

You want Genevieve.

[B]

Genevieve.

[A]

I like Jade. Or Dominic.

[B]

Dominic.

[A]

Dominic.

[B]

I also really like androgynous names like Sydney.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Charlie, Bobby, Ashley.

[A]

How about you do a new one? Don't do, like, make, like, I don't know, Jason a girl name.

[B]

I'm not interested in creating a name.

[A]

No, I'm saying I'm making Jason a girl name.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, I guess I think that it's just. It might set your kid up for a little bit of hardships.

[A]

That'd be all right. And then for sure. Jace. Jace. That's hot.

[B]

That's hot. You want to fuck my kid?

[A]

Oh, my God. God.

[B]

Do not keep it in.

[A]

Loop it. Keep it in. But no, that is.

[B]

That is.

[A]

I don't want that narrative you just

[B]

thought you talking about you name my kid. You started telling my kid was hot. My unborn child.

[A]

Who's the richest person you know?

[B]

Like. Like, know like really, really well. Or like, did I just like, like, name my phone book kind of thing? What do you mean? Other people I know really well. I don't know if he wants me saying this, but you don't understand. I would say the creators of We're Here.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They have a lot of for sure.

[B]

And they don't flex. They're not like, look at all my money. But I'm like, they have like a huge house doing really well in the

[A]

way in the hills, and they can oversee everything. And there's like an infinity pool, and there's like, you know, a movie theater.

[B]

Let's not dox them. Dox this pussy, sweetie. Are you familiar with that?

[A]

No.

[B]

Gia Gun.

[A]

Gia Gun.

[B]

And someone's like. Like, she got into one of her Twitter fights and she just said, dox this pussy, sweetie.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

But outside. But outside of them, I'd probably say I don't really like when we're. We more or Less know each other. But I would probably say it might be Leslie. No, Whoopi.

[A]

Oh, Whoopi. Oh.

[B]

But we're not, like, super, super close. We just, like, text every once in a while whenever we has, like, a beautiful picture. I say, you look amazing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then she'll text me something back.

[A]

Probably my phone. Probably. I would say Candy Burris is the richest person I know, but I don't really. Again, we're not, like, friends outside of that. Who's like.

[B]

Who's like, someone that you, like, talk to pretty frequently. Who's, like, the richest person you know?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. And it's like. Look, hold on.

[B]

I also feel like. I feel like Todrick has a lot of money. Oh, Todrick and Bianca and Trixie have a lot of money.

[A]

Todrick. I think Todrick is dogging them with Todrick.

[B]

You think Todrick has more money than Bianca and Trixie?

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

For sure. And I'll tell you why after the cameras aren't rolling. I'm kidding.

[B]

Got a drug ring.

[A]

Get it. Okay. I think Todrick for sure.

[B]

I think Trixie has more money than them. I think Trixie makes more money than Bianca.

[A]

I think Trixie makes more money than Bianca, but I think Todrick makes more money than Trixie. Oh, this is weird to.

[B]

This is all conjecture.

[A]

Yeah. We have no idea why.

[B]

We know them niggas could be broke as hell for all we know.

[A]

To be fair, I think Bianca is broke as hell.

[B]

Look at broke as hell. But I. I just feel like, I don't know, it's the makeup and the clothes and the, you know, the hotel and the.

[A]

I once. I once had dreams and aspirations of just marrying rich and just that being my thing.

[B]

Could you really. Do you have it in you?

[A]

I. I mean, I could pursue everything else as just like a passion thing just to do it, but just like marry, depending on what that means. Marrying rich.

[B]

When you marry rich, I think that that's a part of your job is like keeping this wealthy person happy, more or less.

[A]

And it wasn't what that means by happy. I think we know what. I don't think it's always sex. I think a lot of.

[B]

I didn't say just sex.

[A]

So what do you think?

[B]

I think it's like being available to them in general. Like, I think if they're like. Are they providing for you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what are you doing?

[A]

Something that they just want. Just knowing that you're there.

[B]

So you're like theirs. So we're Talking like, like slavery. What do you mean by that?

[A]

Just monogamous, Probably. I mean, if there wasn't that rich, it's probably on their terms.

[B]

But do you are and you're down for that?

[A]

Probably not.

[B]

How like today could you be down for that?

[A]

No.

[B]

As you make more money, your sugar daddy, it starts to go up, then they gotta really, right? How much money for you to quit drag? For you to like, quit your gigs or only do the one you want to?

[A]

Okay, what do you mean? How much money? How much money is he worth or how much money is he paying me? Like, what do you mean? Like how much money?

[B]

You're setting the rules. You don't have rent. This person takes care of all your stuff, buying you drag when you want to do certain night, certain things, funding your albums.

[A]

This person needs to be worth a minimum of $50 million.

[B]

15 or 50.

[A]

50.

[B]

And what are they. How much are they doing for you? Are they like. Are they like. How many albums a year are they making for you? Are you doing like Rihanna once every 20 years?

[A]

I don't know. But they would just pay for everything to pay for the house, pay for the cars, pay for health insurance. They pay for literally everything. Everything, literally what I'm doing right now in my life times 10.

[B]

And what about when you want to do an album? Then what happens?

[A]

Then I'm like, hey, babes, I want to make an album. Okay, here's a check for a million dollars. Have fun.

[B]

An album cost a million dollars to make.

[A]

I mean, if you want to. I think you want to do an album the, like the right way. Like have all the features you want, have all the this and then that.

[B]

I think Megan to be on the track.

[A]

That's a million dollar project. I'm gonna feature with Meg, with, with Cardi, with Nicki, with Lil Kim, with Roll, Rolling, rolling, rolling Lilies. Who's Rolling Willis? The bitches that bought her hair. Millie. Rolls, Flo, Milli, Fro Millie, Rolling Millie. I'm having everybody on my shit.

[B]

I don't think I have what it takes. It takes to be you.

[A]

There's Bob. Literally no circumstance ever. The person has to be a rich person. And they're letting you do all the things.

[B]

I couldn't. I could, but I couldn't. I could. I don't have the. I could not be a sugar baby. I. I do not have the con. I'm not. I'm not made up of that. I'm not made up of that kind of whatever the, the mental constitution you have. To have to be able to. It's like a weird subservience.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I don't think I can vibe with.

[A]

Well, I will say I do get off on, like, having that power dynamic. I think that could be hot. Not just, but like sexually too. I think that could be hot.

[B]

Well, I mean, if I may say. I mean, I provide for me and Jacob, but also Jacob contributes to the entire Bob the Drag Queen machine. A lot of people know that. Jacob runs my social media. Jacob runs my YouTube, my Instagram. He takes all my pictures for me. And we, like, together work on. We both work for Bob the Drag Queen, basically. So it's not like Jacob's just sitting back here, like, just like,

[A]

oh, that

[B]

would be me being a little princess.

[A]

That'll be me.

[B]

I mean, Jake was very much a little princess, but still like more like the girl from Brave, Hard Working Princess

[A]

Merida. Merida. Ew. She's literally one of the worst.

[B]

Like, oh, just rough. Like, she was one of the worst Disney princess.

[A]

Her story, this story was so whack with the fucking beers.

[B]

What a terrible. I didn't watch it.

[A]

Terrible one.

[B]

I thought she was the tough one. She was tough, but her and the lesbian.

[A]

The lesbian.

[B]

Let it go. Let it go.

[A]

Elsa's not a lesbian.

[B]

Full.

[A]

I mean, I would like her to

[B]

be, but she's queer coded. Elsa is queer coded 100%. Do y' all think Elsa's Elsa is queer coded 100?

[A]

Do you think. Do you think Bernie and Ern. Bernie, Bert and Ernie are. No, but race coded.

[B]

Are they black? Are they interracial?

[A]

I feel like Bernie. Shit. The brown one is a poc. And no, I think the yellow one is Latinx and the other one, the short one is black.

[B]

Hmm. I mean, I hadn't thought about that.

[A]

I think. Shit. Bertner and Ernie are racially coded.

[B]

Bert and Ernie. Ernie. I'm looking at them. So which one's black? The tall one?

[A]

No, the short one is black and he's Latinx.

[B]

I mean, I can see the. The short one. He's like a little. A theater guy. Yeah, he's one of them. Todricks. One of them. Titus Burgess.

[A]

Right. This is the uptight Latinx. Latinx guy.

[B]

This the gay version of Lemon, which

[A]

I watched in the Heights recently.

[B]

You don't like it?

[A]

I did not enjoy it.

[B]

Okay, I'm not trying to trash, but like, since Dreamgirls, has there been a good movie musical?

[A]

I can't think of one.

[B]

I cannot think of literally one. The one that's like, the one that was, like, acceptable was Hairspray.

[A]

Oh, Hairspray was good, but it was not like, Dream Girls was amazing. And then the one before that was Rent.

[B]

Chicago.

[A]

Rent.

[B]

Rent was fine. Chicago.

[A]

I don't think Chicago is there. Okay. I'm not a big Chicago fan.

[B]

Chicago is so good.

[A]

It's all right. I have very high hopes for west side Story.

[B]

I don't. I don't like that. I don't like the play. I do not like west side Story. I thought I didn't like the production I saw. Then I saw, like, two more, and I was like, I don't like west side Story. I'm gonna live in America. What is the freedom America? What's the water,

[A]

Bob? The music is so exciting.

[B]

I want to go back to Soundstein. I know, but you can get on. Bye.

[A]

Bye. You knew everything. You knew it all. And that's what we call a callback. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. It's not the end of the show yet.

[B]

Why are you trying to end our shit early? You were trying to, like.

[A]

We need to have a clock on the wall.

[B]

Are you over it?

[A]

Summer Walker's coming out with a new album, so over it. Did you like the first album? Do you know what Summer Walker is?

[B]

Okay. Is she the person with that USB inside of a case?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. I do not.

[A]

That's a great publicity.

[B]

I don't know who Summer Walker is, but I know everyone in Atlanta has. Was gathering around this, like, USB with the album on it inside of some sort of a case. And then, like, someone, like, broke it

[A]

open, and then the guy took it,

[B]

and then someone else. But the guy who broke it up and he was, like, celebrating. He was doing too much.

[A]

Celebrating. Yeah.

[B]

I had a dream that, like, me and I think Ezra or me and. I don't know who. Me and someone. Me and Jacob, maybe.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

We're like. You know, there are people in dreams who, like, are, like, multiple people rolled into one. Anyway, we were, like, killing people. But, like, whoever I was with kept, like, they were doing too much. They were, like, doing too much, like, monologues and, like, talking. I was like, you kill them and just talk to the dead bodies. Because they can. They start coming up with plans. They can get you good, shoot them, do your monologue to the dead body, and then move on.

[A]

And what was the end goal? What was the end game?

[B]

What was happening? I think we were like. We're, like, surviving.

[A]

It was.

[B]

I think it was, like, Armageddon type shit.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Like, the world was going mad.

[A]

Sidebar. The food they had for you after the show was so fucking good.

[B]

So. Well, Monet had never had a Monte Cristo.

[A]

I never. It's okay. So this is like a. Everyone knows. Literally 18 people said to me, monte Cristo. I'm like, why does everyone know what that is?

[B]

And Monte Cristo is a ham and cheese sandwich that's been deep battered and deep fried. And then you normally eat it with jelly. I kept telling you last night you're supposed to eat it with jelly, but you were walking away. If you eat the money crystal with jelly. Ooh. But the bread was sugary because it's battered. It's like pancake batter. So basically, you take a ham and cheese sandwich and you put it in pancake batter and then you just deep fry it.

[A]

Who the What? Fat Mega. F. That shit. That shit was so good.

[B]

But they had you in mind.

[A]

I was thinking about you. That shit was so good.

[B]

I can't believe you never had a Monte Cristo.

[A]

I never even heard of that before. A Monte Cristo.

[B]

Yeah, a Monte Cristo.

[A]

And then the chicken sandwich thing was so good, too, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

It was like this, like. Like, really great seasoned chicken sandwich with this, like, sauce and these and, like, a shredded lettuce. And it's like, oh, my God, it was such good. What did it get?

[B]

You got to get. You got to get it with jelly. See, there it is. Jelly. You got. You gotta. You gotta have a jelly.

[A]

You dip it in the jelly. That seems like too much.

[B]

No? Monet, the first time I had him on, honestly, I'm. I'm. I'm, like, reliving through you because I remember the first time I had a Monte Cristo. It was at a restaurant called Cheddar's in Chicago. The one I. I think they were chained, but what I was at was in Columbus, Georgia, and they were like. They were like, what are you doing Columbus? A lot of people don't know this about me, but I was actually born in Columbus, so I. I was like, what do you. What do you recommend? I always ask them, wait, what do you recommend? What's your favorite? They go, oh, I love the money crystal. I was like, what's the money crystal, girl? When they thing came out, and I was like, this looked great, and I dipped it in that jelly, and I was like, this is transcendent.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

It's a deep. It's deep fried sandwich. Of course it's good. It's amazing.

[A]

But it Also, but what. What. How I know it was superb was because this was after the show. The food had been sitting there for an hour or two. And it was.

[B]

Well, so they read because they. When the show started, they dropped off food. As I was like. I was like, this is homophobic. And then they dropped off more food. That was for the staff. And then they dropped off. So the food, it wasn't. It was like 30 minutes old, but there were no burners.

[A]

Right. They were just.

[B]

Also, the guy who dropped the food off was apparently very hot.

[A]

I didn't see it.

[B]

So I come downstairs from hosting, and, like, all the girls are like, who are you? What's your name? Where are you from? He was like, south Korea. They're like, no, bitch in la. Like, where do you live?

[A]

Work?

[B]

What is your home address? And then he was like, I gotta. I gotta go work. I didn't mean to see him, but apparently he was really hot, so I

[A]

don't know that we can talk about this on podcast, but. Okay, well, we can. Really quick, before we go, we have a friend in New York City.

[B]

No one tell us to go, man. You're the only one trying to get the fuck out of here.

[A]

I know. See? Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So we have a friend in New York City who got delivery from someone. He got delivery ordered to their place.

[B]

I feel like he talked about this before, maybe just with us. Yeah, they talked about his podcast with.

[A]

We just narrowed it down, didn't we? And they hooked up with the delivery person. Well, the same person went to go visit Nick Smith. The same delivery guy went to Nick Smith's house. And so, you know Nick, boring as hell, got, like, soup and, like, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Nick has the food, and delivery guy drops off. He's like. He's like, is everything all right with your order? Nick is like, it's fine. Guy's like, are you sure? You know, everything's good? Nick is like, yeah.

[B]

So the guy leaves, go down the

[A]

hallway, and then he comes back and he calls Nick. He's like, hey, just making sure everything's right with your order. Nick is like, everything's fine with my order. I don't need any help.

[B]

Nick was like, no, I'm not gonna suck your dick.

[A]

I'm just.

[B]

I'm here to eat my boneless. My. I want my chicken tenders.

[A]

But I've never had that happen a delivery person.

[B]

I mean, honestly.

[A]

Have you?

[B]

No. But if you're hot and you deliver to some, like, gay guy and you go, is everything fine? His Success rate is probably really high.

[A]

You think? But not, apparently not. If it was really hot.

[B]

Well, Nick wanted his chicken tenders. I mean, Nick is a different breed. Nick's like, I want to eat my chicken tenders, Please, God.

[A]

But also, our other friend would sleep with someone just for the story of it. This person doesn't have to be super hot, so I don't know where we're at.

[B]

I also thought this guy. I'm not trying to put Nick's business on the street, but I feel like this guy wanted a service. Nick doesn't offer a lot.

[A]

Got it. You know what I mean? Got it, got it, got it.

[B]

Diane listens to this podcast.

[A]

She's like, not. Nick says it. I don't know. I don't know if I believe.

[B]

Diane tunes in.

[A]

Hi, Dan. I mean, Dan is Nick's mom. If y' all haven't put.

[B]

When people would talk about, like, a lot of dragons, queens would always talk about getting free cab rides for sucking the cab driver's dick. I've heard it all the time. And I'm like. I'm like, is every girl doing this?

[A]

I've heard of this. You've heard of it too, right? Yeah, for sure.

[B]

But has the cab driver ever hit on you or anything?

[A]

They have, but they've never been hot ones that I would want to. I'm like, not you, bitch.

[B]

Not even $40? Not even for a free cab ride?

[A]

No, bitch. I had a car. I didn't need that. And then when I was taking cars, I was one of the. I was the premier queen of New York, so I didn't need to pay for my shit with a blowjob. I could. I could afford it.

[B]

I have to go exist mobile. But.

[A]

We were.

[B]

I was headed to work the other day. Monet was like. Monet is so. What, like, weird sometimes.

[A]

What if I. Weird.

[B]

I'd be like, monet, what even is.

[A]

Are you talking about the parking thing?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh. I'm like, that's not weird.

[B]

Monet was like, this had one ab. Sometimes Monet will be like. They'll be like, hi, Monet. We're just gonna pay you. I think we're gonna do $100,000 for. If you just come breathe into the microphone and leave, we'll pay for your airfare. We will buy you a new costume. And honestly, if you don't wanna come, you can just Skype in. And when it'll be like, and y' all better pay for my fucking parking, too. And they're gonna pay for my parking.

[A]

No, Bob was heading to a gig that Bob was doing to a little bit of a favor.

[B]

I mean, I get. I got paid to be there.

[A]

I know, but you.

[B]

But it was a last minute.

[A]

It was a last minute thing. And then I was like. And then you were driving. And I was like, oh, you're driving yourself.

[B]

He's like, yeah.

[A]

I was like, oh, are they going to pay for your parking?

[B]

But I was like, jesus, yeah. And they going to pay for your parking too.

[A]

I was like, oh, they going to pay for your parking. And then when you got there, you ended up trying to figure out a whole parking situation.

[B]

I was just trying to park.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But then I paid for my parking and I was like, it's 20. I'm being paid to be here. It's $20.

[A]

Yeah, but they can pay for your parking.

[B]

See, that's the face. They're gonna pay for my parking too. Like, pay for your parking. Pay for your own parking.

[A]

So you say parking like parking.

[B]

That feels like. I also feel like I was talking to someone recently about like, they were like going to visit their boss and they were like, well, you gotta pay for my car to get there. I was like, I feel like people

[A]

usually pay visit their boss.

[B]

Yeah. Like in their house. It was like someone who. Someone's assistant. They're like, I didn't even pay for my car to get there. And I was like, I feel like people just get to work themselves.

[A]

Yeah. I will say, in our industry, sometimes it gets a little weird. Like when you're going long distances, when

[B]

you are traveling across state lines, crossing the border, the borders of nations. Whoever's bringing you there should pay for that.

[A]

Okay, so for example, let's say back in. When you were in New York City and you lived in Washington Heights, Kennedy is in Brooklyn. Right. And Kennedy had to come to your house to pick up something and then take that thing to someone in the. In Far Rockaway, Queens. Would you pay for her ride from your house to far away Queens?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But if Kaden was coming over to like, help me organize my basement, I wouldn't give her money.

[A]

Right. But my. In my brain I'm like, but if you were a courier or working for your thing, you would have to figure out your way from my house to Far Rockaway. Now, I granted, I would always pay that thing, but in my. I would always think, I'm like, am I overpaying? I don't know.

[B]

I've been wondering what people pay their assistance.

[A]

Oh, I. I'd be wondering.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Cuz. I'm very generous. Are you? I am.

[B]

I think I'm generous.

[A]

I mean, I don't you pay your assistant. So you want to tell us something like that?

[B]

Seems like Kennedy's personal information. How many people do you hire?

[A]

I hire.

[B]

We hire Jacob.

[A]

Yeah, Jay. Jay, there people.

[B]

We hire you. And I hired Jacob J. Kennedy from Time. And we also like the dancers, right? And the DJs

[A]

social media guy consistently like three people. 4. Jay, Mitch, Jacob, and not Mitch J. Jason, Jacob Kennedy.

[B]

I guess we should do some for

[A]

he does bomb the drag queen llc. And don't be trying to pay a model, because I sold you what you did last month in the books, Baby, I've been monitoring the books, honey. I seen the books.

[B]

You know what? I'm team Monet. Let's wrap it up.

[A]

I had so much fun talking about billionaires today. Are you gonna order the money? Crystal tonight?

[B]

We're having a game night tonight, y'. All. I got invited. I cannot believe. This is like the cool girls invited me to one of their hangouts. I cannot believe I made the cut. This feels crazy that you all invited me. What was your change of mind?

[A]

You stop being so dramatic, Monat, because you have also now you have made all the civil rivalry fans this fucking weird thing that I'm excluding you from things when Bob is normally out of town. You've been filming. We're here for literally the better half of the year. You were not in here.

[B]

I'm just saying that there are people, Alfredo, who agree that you do things without people.

[A]

Do not rub Alfredo. That is a different story. We don't have enough time.

[B]

Did you invite Alfredo to dinner? Everyone was there.

[A]

It's not my responsibility.

[B]

But you said to dinner.

[A]

I did not said to dinner. Mateo said to dinner.

[B]

So it's Mateo's fault?

[A]

I think it was Mateo's fault. Oh, my God. We have to go.

[B]

Goodbye. Yeah, we're gonna call Mateo right now. Hold on, let me loop in Mateo.

[A]

My God, this is ridiculous.

[B]

Oh, Noah called me. And Darren, You're on the podcast.

[A]

Hello, Mato. Oh, God.

[B]

So, Mato, listen, we're trying to get to the bottom.

[A]

Don't like the tone of your voice.

[B]

I can't tell if you're trying to

[A]

set up Monet or me.

[B]

No, we're trying to figure out why our dear if. If Monae, who invited whose idea was to go to RTA that day?

[A]

It was Monet. It was Mateo.

[B]

It was the idea.

[A]

Mateo caught 4k.

[B]

Three angles caught in 4k, bitch.

[A]

Three angles. Mateo Lane. Mateo has been telling me that Monet, I need to take it to her ball to literally.

[B]

That does not mean that Matteo made the plan. Right?

[A]

I didn't make the plan either. I said.

[B]

I said, y' all just both showed up and said, so you, Patty, Nick, and Potato just showed up at the same time. Oh, my God. What are you doing here? Is that what happened? It was your plan. I knew it was your plan.

[A]

Nick confirmed.

[B]

Was your. This is what I heard. This is what I had heard.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, first of all, Monet ruined everyone's week, okay?

[A]

I had a very good lunch with Monet. It was very nice to see her.

[B]

Well, listen, Nick wanted to go see Chelsea Handler.

[A]

Okay, well, ask him. Matteo, who did you ask? Who did you invite to see Chelsea Handler? First?

[B]

First.

[A]

I said to Monet first that I was going to see Chelsea. Thank you was what I said for Chelsea. And I only had one ticket. I didn't realize I only had one ticket. But I said, you know, I'm going to open for Chelsea. And Monet said, I'm gonna buy a ticket to come to New York. Thank you. Which I did for Chelsea. And. And also, I brought Nick to everything, so screw Nick.

[B]

So Nick wanted to go, but Nick couldn't go. Cause Monet came in. Okay, Monet missed her flight. Monet didn't even make it to the show. Nick didn't make it to the show. And then Monet's like, we should go to Ribalta real quick.

[A]

I will say I did think, because Monet has a very particular sense of humor, that I thought that Monet was lying to me.

[B]

But, yeah, Monet would be like, I'm kidding. I'm opening, too, right?

[A]

Because I was literally. I was like, okay, I'm just gonna put Monet's name down for the A ticket just in case she shows up. Maybe she gets another flight.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Because I would 1,000%. Like, Monet would be like, of course I'd come, Mateo.

[B]

I said it was coming.

[A]

Like, she legit missed her flight. So.

[B]

Okay, so. So what I heard was Monet invited Mateo out to Ribalta.

[A]

Mateo and I always had plans to go to Ribalta.

[B]

It was like, it was your idea.

[A]

I don't know if that's true.

[B]

Well, Mateo, anyway, everyone else seems to corroborate that. And then Monet was like, nick, come to Ribalta. Nick texts Patty and is like, see you at Ribalta. Patty said, what? People going to Ribalta. I'm coming too now. And that was where the line of communication stopped. It did not make its way back to Alfredo. And then they take a picture, and then Alfredo sees it and is like, fuck my drag. Right?

[A]

And I will say it was Mateo's. For some reason. I was the one who apologized to Alfredo. Because it was your idea to take the picture, Mateo. That was you. That was your idea for the picture.

[B]

And what they didn't talk was, I took the picture.

[A]

This is insane.

[B]

All right, we gotta. I love you, Mateo. Bye.

[A]

Love you both. Love you. Potato. Oh, my God. All right, let's wrap it up. All right.

[B]

I love you very much.

[A]

Now I'm the villain of the season.

[B]

Maybe we'll redo the billionaires episode one day.

[A]

I think this is one will be

[B]

the one that was supposed to be about.

[A]

Yeah.