The One Thats Just IMHO

Summary

Sibling Rivalry Podcast

Episode: The One That's Just IMHO
Date: July 29, 2026
Special Guests: Alexis and Darby from the IMHO Podcast
Host: Bob the Drag Queen (Monét X Change is on vacation)

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Overview

This week's episode of Sibling Rivalry features Bob the Drag Queen sitting down with Alexis and Darby, the quick-witted hosts of the IMHO podcast, for a hilarious and revealing crossover. The conversation veers from drag fashion, mental health, friendship dynamics and fights, the queer experience, depression, and relationship quirks, all with the comedic flair and candid candor that both podcasts are known for. The latter half of the episode features a 'Newlyweds Game'-style quiz that tests how well Alexis and Darby truly know each other.

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Main Themes & Discussion Points

1. Drag, Fashion, and DIY Gowns

[00:38–03:00]

• Alexis and Darby arrive in houndstooth dresses, leading to a comedic exchange on DIY fashion.
• Bob jokes about the history and effort behind their outfits ("This is a duvet I went thrifting. Nobody tells you this when you're—Can I say, this one still looks like a duvet?" [01:26]).
• Anecdotes flow about traveling and budgeting—thrifting, embezzling “girl math,” and the lengths drag performers go to look fierce.

2. ‘White Collar Crime’ and Friendship Finances

[02:00–04:06]

• Darby and Alexis riff on “criminal” budgeting, loans, and the blurry financial lines of working with friends.
• Notable Quote: "You all are white collar criminals." – Bob [03:25]
• The segment is a humorous but real look into how queer creators financially support each other… and themselves.

3. Mental Health: EMDR and Surviving “Darby Winter”

[05:29–10:20]

• Darby opens up about her mental health journey, using EMDR therapy to process trauma and deal with family estrangement.
  • “After the light bar, your brain has moved it… I start the 90 seconds, heart racing, red face. I end the 90 seconds, chill as fuck.” – Darby [09:45]
• The friends discuss therapy, co-dependency, and using humor to cope with both past trauma and ongoing life stress (“You’ve been in the Darby winter for so long that you now believe that you haven't gained that much weight.” – Bob [05:30]).

4. Queer Relationship Structures & Boundaries

[12:09–13:36]

• Alexis and Darby joke about monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships.
  • “That's because I'm a Republican.” – Darby (satirical) [12:54]
  • "We're both allowed to go do whatever we want... I'm just lazy." – Alexis [13:27]
• Explores differences in approach and social acceptance, with playful digs about being judgy or privileged.

5. Friendship Dynamics and Fights—On Stage and Off

[13:49–18:28]

• The IMHO pair open up about an on-stage fight at VidCon while moderating a game, showing how professional collaboration can surface real tensions.
  • “I called her a stupid into the microphone and I. We were told not to curse because everyone there had not done puberty.” – Darby [15:47]
  • The confrontation led to an unreleased, 30-minute YouTube showdown ("I don't treat you the way you treat me!" [17:39]), showing their willingness to air out conflict for the sake of honesty.
• Bob and Monet’s own moments of podcast tension are also discussed ("There have been two times where it got so heated we could not continue the episode." [20:20]).

6. Living off the Grid, Vans, and Gown Storage

[22:42–24:16]

• Alexis dreams of living in a van with all her gowns in tow ("I'm gonna have to have room for my gowns." [24:04]).
• The segment is both zany and insightful, reflecting on queer dreams of freedom, gender expression, and finding space in the world.

7. Trans Experiences and Transitional Euphoria

[25:20–26:28, 38:07–38:13]

• Alexis shares her story of transitioning, depression, and how her relationship with drag and her body has shifted.
  • “Sorry I keep talking about being trans, but like, I'm kind of experiencing—” [25:20]
  • "They talk about euphoria. Not the show, the feeling. And you don't really understand it until you experience it. You're like, oh, yeah, this is cool." – Alexis [38:07]
• They bond over owning self-acceptance and the joys (and mishaps) of being visibly queer.

8. Games: The IMHO “Newlyweds” Challenge

[39:04–54:47]

• Bob quizzes Alexis and Darby about each other's tastes, birthdays, zodiac signs, and poppers usage, with hilarious and revealing results.
  • "I've told her I was molested a thousand times and each time it feels like she's doing it again." – Darby [39:48]
  • Both admit to using poppers: “Yes, absolutely.” [49:24]
  • Disney character comparisons get wacky ("I'm Jeanette from the Chipettes" – Alexis [52:06]; "That little rat flying thing in Anastasia. Bar talk. I'm not..." – Darby [52:03]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On White Collar Crime:
  "You all are white collar criminals. Yeah, we are white Bernie Maoff." – Bob & Alexis [03:25]
• On Therapy:
  “After the 90 seconds... your brain has moved it. I start the 90 seconds, heart racing, red face. I end the 90 seconds, chill as fuck.” – Darby [09:45]
• On Friendship Fights:
  "I called her a stupid into the microphone and I. We were told not to curse because everyone there had not done puberty." – Darby [15:47]
• On Transitioning:
  “China is kind of cool... Sorry I keep talking about being trans, but, like, I'm kind of experiencing—” – Alexis [25:20]
• On Queer Euphoria:
  "They talk about euphoria. Not the show, the feeling. And you don't really understand it until you experience it. You're like, oh, yeah, this is cool." – Alexis [38:07]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:38] – Alexis and Darby’s (IMHO) Introduction, fashion jokes
• [02:00] – Money struggles, “white collar crime” banter
• [05:29] – “Darby winter” and EMDR therapy explanation
• [10:25] – Evidence of friendship growth: “I wasn’t mad seeing her”
• [13:49] – The story behind the IMHO fight at VidCon
• [20:04] – Bob and Monet’s own podcast fights
• [24:04] – Living in a van with gowns; trans fashion
• [25:20] – Transition narratives, depression period
• [38:07] – Trans euphoria, “show us your boobs” culture
• [39:04] – IMHO “Newlyweds” quiz game begins
• [49:24] – Both admit to using poppers
• [52:30+] – Disney/animation character comparisons (Mrs. Potts, Chipettes, Bar Talk)
• [53:54] – Where to find IMHO online and live shows

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Tone and Style

The tone oscillates between sharp-witted banter, genuine vulnerability, and absurd comedy. The original energy of all speakers is irreverent, self-deprecating, and peppered with in-jokes and references to queer/drag subculture. No sentiment is held sacred, but mutual affection keeps the conversation uplifting amid its roasts and emotional disclosures.

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Conclusion

This extra special episode of Sibling Rivalry is a deep-dive into the lives, minds, and friendship of IMHO’s Alexis and Darby, expertly hosted by Bob. The episode is a rollercoaster through queer joy, trauma work, chosen family, and the beautiful mess of maintaining creative partnerships. Fans of Sibling Rivalry, IMHO, and queer podcasts will find this episode equal parts heartwarming, hilarious, and unmistakably real.

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Find IMHO

• Instagram, TikTok, YouTube: @IMHOthePodcast
• Live: "Darby Wins the Talent Show" and Task Mistress LA appearances at Dynasty Typewriter in July

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Note: For best moments, hear Bob’s zingers about “white collar crime” [03:25], Darby’s EMDR explanation [09:45], and the IMHO on-stage fight dissection [15:47]. The “Newlyweds” game [39:04] is pure comedic gold.

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“Thank you all so much for joining us. Can we come back?” – Alexis & Darby [54:32]

Transcript

[A]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen, and I'm Monet x Change, and this is simply Rivalry. On this week's episode, I am joined by the host of imho, Alexis Ann Darby. We found out what made Alexis say this.

[B]

I'm gonna have to have room for my gown. We find out what made Darby say this.

[C]

My culture's not a costume. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[A]

You all are white collar criminals. Hello. Welcome back to S Rivalry. Today we have an extra special episode. Monet is on vacation all the way in Madrid or Barcelona to die Madrid. So if you're there, give her some tapas and top us. Okay, that was pretty brutal. I am joined by Alexis and Darby from IMHO podcast. And they showed up in these beautiful houndstooth dresses. And I said, well, honey, I happen to have a couple of those lying around myself.

[C]

This is totally shocking and brand new information to us. I honestly, the first thing I wanted to say was, my culture's not a costume.

[A]

But that's crazy.

[D]

That is.

[C]

Then I realized that would be a crazy thing.

[B]

Advertising. NOLA HOLMES 3.

[A]

Listen. Okay. Also, this is a duvet.

[B]

This is a duvet I went thrifting. I found. Okay, nobody tells you this when you're.

[A]

Can I say this one still looks like a duvet?

[B]

Yeah. Well, that.

[C]

She made it too.

[B]

I made that.

[A]

Listen, you put a lot of more care into yours.

[C]

Well, can I tell you older?

[A]

I'm gonna say it looks like you really. You have buttons.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You really want to be drapey?

[B]

Well, I made this, and then I took it with me. I went on a cruise to Alaska last year with my friend Sam. She has money, I don't.

[C]

And she got money back from her roommate that she paid rent to so she could buy a ticket on the cruise ship.

[A]

Like, rent money.

[B]

Okay, no, here's how.

[A]

Like embezzling.

[B]

Here's how.

[A]

No, no, you're a criminal.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

I think I secretly embezzled and I'm. I'm nervous. Don't tell them. The law.

[A]

Yeah, the. The cops aren't allowed to watch my show.

[C]

Okay, great. Yeah. My brother needed money because he lost his job and his wife. Why didn't she get a second job? Never mind. It's her fault. No, I took it from IMHO because I don't have any money. And now I'm like, did you know about this? But is that fair?

[B]

I didn't know.

[C]

No, I. What I did. What I did was.

[B]

It's girl math.

[C]

What I did was I took money from the tax savings account that I continue, that I never dip into during tax season.

[A]

But you dip into it when you need a.

[C]

When my brother needs a home for his four children.

[B]

Here's what happened for his.

[A]

When I moved, you didn't have children.

[B]

My roommate said, you don't worry about the security deposit because you're poor, so you'll just take care of it when you can. And I said, no, I want to get off on the right foot. This is the most expensive I've. Most of the money I've ever paid for an apartment. So I started and we had like the security department was the first three months or whatever. And so I paid it off and then I said, remember when you said I didn't have to pay the security deposit? He said, yeah. And I said, can I not pay rent this month? And then that'll be the security deposit.

[A]

And that was cool.

[B]

And he said it was cool. And now everyone's like, you got to pay that back. And by the way, I have.

[A]

You all are white collar criminals. Yeah, we are white Bernie Maoff.

[C]

Listen, Caucasian, I want to go to jail and I want to be best friends with Jen Shaw. Wait, she's out.

[B]

Enola Holmes, out.

[A]

Do you think you're going to a women's prison?

[C]

I don't see gender. Gender's a construct.

[B]

See, that's why I do have to clean up my ass. Cuz I don't know what prison they're going to put me in.

[C]

These days you say up your ass. What? You say clean up your ass.

[B]

I have to clean up my ass.

[C]

Oh, act.

[B]

Because I, because I don't, I don't know what prison they're going to put me in. And I, and I secretly still think I might be put in a men's prison.

[A]

Well, I would say that is a likely possibility.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You should definitely try to try your best to be above the law.

[B]

I am, mostly. Except for that one regard. But that's just friend law. It's not real.

[A]

Wait, this cruise you're on.

[B]

Oh, my friend, I wanted to. No, it wasn't.

[A]

Oh, oh, you went on a straight cruise.

[C]

Yeah, but at least it was to Alaska. We went on. Okay, okay. It was beautiful.

[B]

You know how, you know how you're on Camp Wanikiki? Yeah.

[A]

She won a kiki.

[C]

She won the first season.

[A]

I watched that whole season.

[B]

You don't remember.

[C]

Did you?

[A]

Yes, I did.

[C]

Because you got lost in all of the sketches that went on too long.

[A]

No, I did. It is now dawning on me also

[D]

we Watched during COVID though.

[B]

So I gained a little weight. Oh, and Covid was a long time ago.

[A]

You didn't recognize me because wasn't a little. Are you laughing because.

[C]

No, but like, if she gained a little weight like that, you wouldn't be able to recognize her. You haven't gained that much weight.

[B]

Oh, that's nice. I went on a cruise.

[A]

You haven't gained that much weight. Was that.

[C]

It's true.

[A]

Was that.

[C]

That was doing a lot of heavy lifting.

[A]

Now I remember. Yes, that was you. Have you been tricked into believing that? That's nice. You know, in New York City sometimes. In New York City, what happens sometimes is it is winter for so long and then it turns 60 degrees and everyone puts on shorts because they believe it is warm, but it's not warm.

[B]

Oh, that's. Chicago does that too.

[A]

You've been in the Darby winter for so long that you now believe that you haven't gained that much weight.

[C]

Winter once.

[B]

Here's the thing. I'm going to be vulnerable open right now.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Darby's on a mental health journey and she's now started emdr.

[A]

How are you being vulnerable?

[C]

Because if I'm better, I'll treat her nicer and then she'll start to care about herself.

[B]

Actually making steps forward to trickle her mental health emdr. It's trickle down friend Friendsonomics.

[A]

Can I ask about. And you steal from your friends. Can I. Can I ask, with permission, Can I ask about your mental health journey? I mean, she brought it up.

[C]

Yeah. Let's do it.

[A]

What's going on?

[C]

Everything's fine under that wig. I'm not. I. I had a really rough year last year. No, you can go. If you search VidCon, IMHO, you can see where the trouble started. It's the trouble started.

[A]

Oh, is this the.

[C]

No, it wasn't. But last year was a really tough time for her because it was a tough time for me.

[B]

For all of us. Well, I've always been bad with money. I'm. I'm only just talking about money too.

[C]

What does that have to do with anything?

[B]

Well, that was a big pressure. It's hard being friends with your boss

[A]

and garbage your boss.

[B]

It's hard to.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's also hard to be friends and then have money and follow me.

[C]

When you're making an llc, there's only one place to put a name on

[B]

it is all her. Sometimes I do.

[C]

That's why sometimes they'll make the checkout to me.

[A]

Are your fans trained in hearing both of you? Speak at the same time.

[B]

We don't know.

[C]

Oh, she hasn't watched the show.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Tamar, what are.

[A]

Okay. What are you doing? This. I want to. From. As an outsider. What I'm hearing is Darby is charged with editing, keeping her alive. Finances.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Booking spaces, getting the monitor that you're demanding. Also shady money practices with the business and then.

[C]

Not shady. I was helping a father.

[A]

You're like, why is she stressed?

[D]

Why is.

[A]

Why is Darby having a hard time?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know when you re. When you frame it like that. Sure.

[C]

Can I say, yesterday I picked her up to go. I wanted to go on a journey. Thank you for asking. Subaru Impreza.

[A]

Did not see that coming. Did not.

[C]

Well, it wasn't my choice, so. My husband was a Subaru family, and my family doesn't talk to me, which is why I'm in emdr.

[A]

What is emdr?

[C]

And I'm so glad you asked. It stands for.

[B]

It's electric dance Force music.

[A]

Jacob. We don't know what MDR is, so it's.

[B]

It's really.

[A]

So you don't know where you are? You're doing. You're just in the place.

[C]

I don't have a light bar.

[B]

It's a light bar that you. What does it do?

[A]

We don't know what it means. Can you look it up for us? We don't know what it means.

[C]

I don't know what it means, but I know I. I need it.

[B]

What is Google to, by the way?

[C]

No way. I know what it is. It's called eye movement desensis sedation. Usually those tik toks of people who can't read on the street. Listen, if I have two drinks, I'm gonna be that person. The word is ghost. Oh, don't even get me started.

[A]

The word is ghost.

[C]

What about Alexis?

[A]

That's pretty easy to pronounce.

[C]

Yeah, there she goes. Eye movement desensitization, reprocessing. So basically what I do. I talked to this therapist about a traumatic moment in my life. It's mostly family stuff.

[B]

She's. As a church.

[C]

Yeah. I've had a lot, and we haven't even gotten to the rape yet.

[A]

And we'll get there. Don't you worry.

[C]

Yeah, truly. Well, that's what he said. And. Christ, I can say it. I can say it.

[A]

Is that the rule?

[C]

Yeah, it is for me.

[A]

Okay, there we.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

You make.

[A]

Y' all make the rules.

[C]

Thank you. My culture is a costume. I can't stop saying that. I. I share a traumatic story. And then she's like, great, I'm going to turn on the light bar. And so my computer turns into this, like, bouncing light, and I just have to think about it for 90 seconds. And then at the end of 90 seconds, listen, I don't know the science behind it. I can't even say what the word is. But when you start talk, obviously you're telling a traumatic thing to a therapist.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You get worked up, Right. And, like, my heart starts beating. I'm angry. I love being angry. And then by the end of the 90 seconds, your brain has moved it like the. I start the 90 seconds, heart racing, red face. I end the 90 seconds, chill as fuck. And then she just pops back up on screen. I take a deep breath. We talk about it. Like, it may not be fully resolved at that moment, but I'm not feeling the, like, extreme emotional pull. I mean, it's very interesting. Isn't that crazy?

[B]

It's crazy how that works. And we were talking on the way here, she. You feel lighter.

[C]

I told Curtis yesterday, when we were. After we dropped you off yesterday, I said, this is the first time I've picked up Alexis sometime and seen her waiting for us on the side of the street. And I wasn't mad.

[A]

You don't like when she's waiting?

[B]

I did that so you wouldn't have to go in that parking lot.

[A]

Well, you don't like when she's waiting.

[C]

No, no, I don't mind that she's waiting. I just mind that it's her waiting. But now I'm getting better, and now I love when I see.

[A]

So you want to wait for her downstairs?

[C]

I never wait for Alexis.

[D]

Wait.

[A]

You?

[B]

I, I.

[A]

When I go to pick someone up, I want them downstairs waiting.

[C]

Oh, no, no. She. Okay. The Coffee Bean by her house is a disaster. The parking lot.

[B]

The parking lot is. No one knows how get. It's one way and it's one way,

[C]

but everyone has a Range Rover, so guess what? They do. They go the opposite way. Subaru follows the rules. Subaru will actually help direct traffic if people get.

[B]

That's why I was waiting on the corner, so you wouldn't have to go in.

[C]

Thank you for doing that. I just meant that, like, usually when I. When I see you, as of recently, I like it.

[A]

Do y' all hug?

[B]

Yeah, we've been hugging more. You hugged me yesterday.

[C]

I'm telling you. Do you kiss the emdr?

[A]

I kiss Monet.

[B]

You kiss Monet?

[A]

Yeah, I kiss Monet.

[B]

We both friendship pecs.

[C]

We both have. Well, first of all, I don't have lips, but we both have two different types of gingivitis. Yeah, I got the Reba. We can't kiss because if our gingivitis touches, you know, it morphs, then it becomes superbug.

[A]

Understood. I think you guys. I think y' all should get into kissing. I think you should start kissing.

[B]

Do you think that's EMDR for lips?

[A]

I think you should kiss goodbye. I think at the end of this podcast, there will be a kiss, and we will have the first documented IMHO kiss.

[C]

I would have to ask my boyfriend, to be fair.

[A]

Is he. Is. Is he abusive?

[C]

He's a cuck. He's a cuck. He'd love it.

[B]

He'd love it.

[A]

Is he a little cookie? Is he a little. Is your boyfriend a little cookie?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This is public information.

[B]

He's. He requested. He requested and not joke about it when he's there, but he's not here right now.

[C]

Don't watch this, Austin.

[A]

Boundaries mean nothing with you two.

[B]

Yeah, he.

[A]

You give off. You give. You give monogamous.

[C]

I give monogamous.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I'm doing light bar right now. I don't have time. I cannot engage sexually. You're not monogamous, so.

[A]

No, I give off very big. Not just monogamous, but, like, judgy to open relationships.

[C]

That's because I'm a Republican.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm also.

[C]

I didn't vote for Trump, so in my relationship.

[A]

You're not a Republican. You can't tell that. People are going to take it as truth, and now you're going to be.

[C]

Hang on. Okay, I'll correct it. Republican. Until I met Jill Stein. She changed everything.

[A]

Or you were Jill Stein, girly.

[C]

No, I'm. I'm a. What do you call it? What do you call it? Privileged.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

It doesn't matter how I vote. My life's not getting up.

[B]

So we are both allowed to go do whatever we want with whoever we want. I'm just lazy. And that's where we. That's our vengeance. We're both lazy. We don't want to.

[C]

I let my husband go find a twin, and then I can stay home

[B]

to get one guy.

[A]

Can I ask about the fight?

[B]

39 years to get there, but did you hear that?

[C]

39 years.

[B]

The fight.

[C]

No, no, go ahead.

[A]

I want to hear about. Did y' all tease it for the episode? Now I have to.

[B]

I think about this sometimes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I think it's because I. This might sound backhanded.

[A]

You, too?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I grew up in the theater. And I take that stuff too seriously.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Theater people are a little etiquette.

[C]

Like, you thought playing Werewolf with children was theater.

[A]

It was Werewolf.

[B]

We were playing.

[A]

Yeah, I've heard about the werewolf.

[B]

Similar to Blood in the Clock.

[A]

Yes. Clock Tower.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

On tv. You can go watch Boom. Clock Tower, which is gonna make you

[B]

my new favorite show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, to. So we. We had this fight on stage because the two of us were trying to both lead. We didn't think the other one could lead, or we didn't think the other one had the reins. And so we were trying to take the reins and we got the reigns. No, I don't think either of us did because we weren't given any. Like, we were moderating a game, a very detailed game of Werewolf with all

[A]

these rules in front of an audience.

[C]

We were 10 year olds. No 10 year old.

[B]

More important.

[C]

VidCon is for children. Why were we there?

[A]

Was.

[B]

We were in our 40s. A game with all these influencers on Tik Tok that had millions and millions

[C]

of followers, and none of them were alive during 911. They had no idea what I was talking.

[B]

Nobody knew about 911 except for that one Murder girl. She was so sweet.

[A]

She was really podcast girly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Murder someone.

[B]

Murder makeup. Well, I don't know.

[A]

I know the murder makeup girl.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She has makeup and she talks about murder.

[B]

She's one of them.

[C]

That's Bailey Sarian, though. Oh, I didn't get to.

[B]

This was a new. And they're all young.

[C]

I don't know why they're out.

[B]

And we. We fought on stage. And for me, that's like a.

[A]

When you say fought on stage, how awkward was it for the audience? On a scale of 110? Being like, this is so awkward. Like, I literally can't think.

[B]

I think they were thrown off just seeing drag queens, to be honest.

[C]

Yeah. For real.

[A]

The fight was not.

[B]

They were children, but it was not

[A]

a funsy funs fight. Y' all were like. Y' all were. Actually.

[C]

I called her a stupid into the microphone and I. We were told not to curse because everyone there had not done puberty.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And they don't know curse.

[A]

Is it on camera?

[B]

It's on YouTube. But it was also really hard because I like getting things right, and we weren't getting it right.

[C]

I was getting it right.

[A]

You know what?

[C]

There's a better part.

[A]

There's a link below. You all can tell us there's a

[B]

second part to this. I'll let Darby explain This.

[C]

Maybe we'll get. Maybe this is a sibling rivalry exclusive because we haven't released it yet.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

No words.

[C]

So you can't do that.

[B]

So the next start is. We.

[C]

We finished the weekend.

[B]

I'm telling you. We're telling you this.

[C]

The only reason we. We said we would go is because we got to go to Disneyland.

[B]

We got a free hotel. I'll do anything for a free hotel.

[C]

And I do. And a towel. Are you kidding?

[B]

Gentlemen, I'll do anything.

[A]

And ladies.

[C]

And they. Them.

[B]

Honestly.

[C]

Ally.

[D]

Anyone?

[A]

So.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Second part.

[C]

So we. We spend the whole weekend together. I'm horrible. All weekend. I'm. I'm just deep red.

[A]

Alexa's just standing outside pissing you off.

[C]

She's literally. Did you have to wa. There for me?

[A]

Just standing there being ready. Just pissing you the.

[C]

No, but the tension was high. And it was all my fault. And I know that, but.

[B]

All your fault.

[C]

Then when we get back, one thing that we love to do because our parents are boomers is we love to ignore emotional moments and things that we need to talk about. So I waited until we were filming IMHO, the show on YouTube.

[B]

Yeah. We were going to do a debrief of the weekend. And I said, really? You want to.

[C]

That's how we started it. And so then we started. We have 30 minutes of footage never been released, of us getting into a genuine fight. She leaves the room and screams something at me as she's going down the street.

[B]

I don't treat you the way you treat me.

[A]

Well, that's. That's actually.

[C]

That's true, though.

[A]

That's deeper than that's true.

[C]

But I'm CIS as hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But you also have my. My sister.

[C]

Don't call me that. That's what my dad. I need a light bar.

[B]

No, but.

[C]

So then are you give us. We're screaming at each other and it's all on film.

[A]

Are you willing to give me a little footage so I can play it?

[B]

I'm. I. I'll give you.

[C]

I'll give you a clip.

[A]

Any clip you choose. You send it over. Will put a little. A little clip in there. Jay.

[C]

I. I was trying to make a

[B]

dramatic exit swiftly, but I had to tie my shoes. It was taking forever. So I'm like, you know.

[C]

And then when I gave up, my husband Curtis is just sitting there silently in the room with her. She's like, quickly trying to tie her shoes. She had just learned how to tie her shoes.

[B]

So embarrassing to try and Tie your shoes during a fight.

[A]

That's why kids do slip ons. I wear Crocs everywhere.

[B]

There's nowhere to. There was nowhere to sit cuz I didn't feel like pulling out a chair.

[C]

Are you saying my home doesn't have proper seating?

[B]

No, the. The chairs were all tucked in like a proper lady. I didn't want to pull them out. That's a compliment.

[A]

And she's fighting you. She doesn't want to pull your chairs out.

[B]

I'll do anything for a free hotel.

[A]

You need to be more specific when you say free hotel because there could be some gutter ass hotel. You need to say, how many stars? Is there a pool? How many stars? There need to be a conference room. What town is it in a hotel pool?

[C]

Do you use a hotel pool?

[A]

I don't swim. I can't swim. Yeah, don't say anything racist.

[C]

I feel like I already have, so I'll stop.

[B]

Okay, here's specifics. I'll do anything for a hotel room that is air conditioned.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

And has access to Diet Coke. Why do all.

[A]

Alexis, you need to aim higher.

[C]

Yeah, well, no.

[A]

Can I tell you, this is not

[C]

where she's come from. That's actually pretty good.

[A]

Please, Alexis, add more to the stipulation.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Do you want parking?

[B]

I don't have a car.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

You want pee bags so that you don't have to get out of bed?

[B]

I bring my own.

[A]

You have a catheter that you travel with?

[B]

No. No.

[C]

Champing people, Camping pee bags.

[A]

This is the thing.

[B]

And there's stuff in there that It.

[C]

This was in the before times when she was really depressed. Sometimes she would leave them and they'd shifted.

[A]

You gave her your depression?

[B]

No, I think she gave me her depression.

[C]

Fuck off. I got you into therapy.

[B]

She did. She did.

[A]

Is he just moving from side to side? I don't want to catch it. I don't want to.

[C]

You're so. You're so.

[A]

I'm caught in the crosswinds.

[B]

You work with your friends. Is that hard?

[C]

We.

[A]

We have. Moni and I have had two podcasts that we had to quit because of fighting.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It's happened twice.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

And we.

[B]

You just start a new one instead of.

[A]

No, no, two episodes.

[B]

Oh, two episodes.

[A]

There have been. There have been two times where like,

[B]

what are the podcasts?

[A]

No, there's been two times where it got so heated we could not continue the episode. Wow. And. And one was uptown. We were at Monet's house. Monet's Apartment and up.

[C]

What's the exact street address?

[A]

It was like. It was always, like, 1.

[C]

Oh, what's her short address today?

[A]

5.

[C]

Where does she keep her spare key?

[D]

Yeah, she was, like, 20 blocks below us.

[A]

So I was so irritated, and I was so mad, and I was so pissed off that I got up and I walked out and I walked home. I walked to 162. It was like, 20 blocks. 25 blocks.

[C]

And we were younger.

[A]

Yeah, we were younger. It was during lockdown, and I was so pissed off, and I was like, I need to. I need to go for a walk. This is crazy. And then the second one was right here, sitting in these spots, and Monet kept ribbing at me, and I was not in the mood. And then she was, like, talking about my body in a way I did not like her doing. And then I was like, we need to. I. We. We can't. And then. And then I think, actually Kane was the one who was like. I think it was Jacob. Jacob was like, I think we need to actually. Well, me and Monet were doing the podcast, and then I noticed that Kane started turning off the camera. So I looked up, and Kane was going by turning. You remember this? Kane was. Kane was turning off all the cameras, but we were still going. And then Jacob and Jacob was like, I think we need to just wrap it up. So me and Monet moved into the dressing room, and then we. We talked it out like adults.

[B]

Oh, that's cool.

[A]

I didn't walk home back to Hollywood.

[B]

We.

[C]

We've talked before.

[B]

I will say, walking home crying alone. Oh, after that filming thing.

[A]

Oh, you walked home? How far?

[B]

Oh, I live, like, three blocks away from.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Takes me about, like, 10 minutes to walk there. It takes her about 20.

[A]

Yeah, that's fair. All's fair.

[C]

It's her knees.

[A]

To quote Kim Kardashian, all's fair.

[C]

That's her knees.

[A]

But. So you did it. You wouldn't. You wouldn't give her a ride in your Subaru after that?

[C]

No. Because, listen.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

I'm not gonna get caught in a Subaru with a sobbing trans woman by myself again.

[A]

I feel like that's where trans women sob in Subarus.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Honestly, that's where you saw.

[C]

That's where you're left. Feel safe. They feel safe.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, they feel safe.

[A]

No, if you did drive, what would you drive?

[B]

Oh, a van. A van.

[C]

Life girl. Thank you. So say it.

[A]

So can I tell you. Can I say something you said to me the other day here in my Studio?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Alexis was like, I. I basically. You insinuated that you were like, I'm trying to get out of the business. Like, I am.

[B]

Well, in, like, five, ten years.

[A]

Yeah, that's soon.

[B]

Not for me. I'm gonna be 51 in 10 years.

[A]

Don't make me do math. 46.

[C]

I hope you serve 10 years.

[B]

Am I marking up the floor?

[A]

You said. You said 10, and I want you know that. I know you said 10, but I heard six. And I want you to know that I did go to public school Atlanta, but I do know I went to

[B]

public school in Texas.

[A]

Oh, that's what it is. That's what it is. So she was like, I want to live off the grid and live in a van, and I want to be.

[C]

She doesn't. I think that's insane.

[B]

I want to have all my stuff with me.

[C]

Listen, and I mean, this is a compliment.

[A]

Is your stuff out in your home?

[C]

This is the. It's too much stuff.

[A]

Stress you out that it's not right in the parking lot right now.

[C]

That stresses you out, because she can't access everything.

[B]

I just don't. I. I had a car for a little bit, my 20, but didn't feel like having a car because I hated myself. But now that I like myself, I'm. I wanna.

[C]

You aren't the one.

[B]

I want to see the.

[A]

You want, like, a man with a world? You like a band with a bed in it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

She wants, like, a kitchen and everything.

[B]

I don't need the kitchen. I just want. Because I'm gonna have to have room for my gowns.

[A]

Can you cook? You bring gowns in the woods?

[C]

That's all she owns.

[B]

That's all I want.

[C]

When she.

[B]

When I transitioned, I said, no more pants.

[C]

She threw away all her pants, and

[A]

now these pants make you feel dysphoric.

[D]

Work.

[B]

I don't. Not so much anymore. But I will never wear them on purpose. No, that's such a.

[C]

How do you wear them?

[B]

By accident or, like, if I just need to walk to the store and I don't feel like chafing my thighs,

[A]

I'll go to the gym.

[B]

No, I don't do that.

[C]

She lives up a hill, though. That's Jim. I think that's Jim.

[B]

I do. I live at the bottom of a hill.

[C]

Too dangerous to be in a tiny area like that. Like, whenever we go into anywhere, really, any aisle of anywhere, I know she's gonna knock something off because you're in

[B]

the gown with her china shop and

[C]

her giant, giant, beautiful ass.

[A]

Belinda. China shop.

[C]

Thank God. Can you imagine if your, if your butt was as flat as mine, but just as big?

[B]

I recently watched a YouTuber that, she took us through all of her china and I thought, wait, China is kind of cool. Her dish. Her dish?

[A]

Yeah, we used it. We know. We know what china is.

[B]

I didn't know about it.

[A]

I feel like you thought we didn't know what china was just now.

[B]

No, no, because you explained.

[A]

You explained what china was to us. Like, we didn't know what china was.

[B]

No, no. I was saying that I've never considered it until recently. That's one thing. Sorry I keep talking about being trans, but, like, I'm kind of experiencing.

[A]

Ally, when did you, when did you publicly transition?

[B]

I started, I started medically transitioning in May of 2022, and then I moved here in June of 2022. And then I, like, kind of cocooned and did nothing for a year. And that's when I was doing the pee bags because I didn't like my situation. I didn't like going out of my room to go.

[A]

So you were actually peeing in the bags?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was a dark time.

[A]

How far were you from the bat? This is. That sounds like some real depression stuff.

[B]

It was, it was depression mixed with, like, roommate. A roommate that I, I didn't want to see.

[C]

Plus, you lived so far north.

[B]

I lived in Sun Valley. It was hot.

[C]

That's where, like, when you check your FedEx. When you check your Fed.

[B]

I don't like the heat.

[C]

You look like just left Sun Valley.

[B]

I love this week.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't like this. I, I, I never thought I would have ever moved here, but then I did for her, and I don't regret it.

[C]

You didn't do it for me, did you?

[B]

I did it for. Imho, sure.

[A]

Were you at her weddings?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did. Were you the bride of honor? Maid of honor?

[B]

No, it was before transition, so I just wore something kind of flowy and.

[C]

Don't say you were the maid of honor.

[B]

No, but I did do a.

[C]

We got married at the dinner, like, so we, our friend owned a restaurant and then an art gallery. Memphis, originally, but we met in Chicago.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I lived in Chicago for 18 years, and she lived in Chicago for 13, 14 years.

[C]

Too long. It's so cold. But.

[B]

And they got married in Covid.

[C]

We were like. It was like. It was like a long table, and we just had, like, our family and close friends, and then we stood up between appetizers and entrees and desserts. And we would do part of this. So we'd stand up and we would do, like, the vows.

[A]

I'm gonna jump into your question because that started to get boring.

[B]

No, it was beautiful. My camera. Fish. What is fish called when it still looks like fish bar, basically.

[A]

This story isn't.

[C]

I'm not telling you.

[A]

They don't want to hear.

[C]

Monet wants to hear. This

[A]

show hates YouTube.

[B]

Jacob, where did you get.

[C]

I got to be honest. I hate Monet. I was ready to confront her today.

[A]

Wait, she hates Monet. We got to hear about it.

[C]

I was ready to confront her today. No, I don't. Listen, I don't want to bring this up. I will.

[B]

She.

[C]

Monet will always let me. This is my camera.

[A]

That's your camera.

[C]

Monet. You'll always be Hitler to me.

[A]

Oh, did you play secret Hitler with her?

[C]

And she was always Hitler, and guess who she kept saying was Hitler?

[A]

You.

[C]

Me. And why is that? Because I'm a. I'm a young, appearing, spry, used to be Twink, but very thin, funny little pretty girl.

[A]

It's because whenever you don't do drag for a month, you grow the mustache.

[C]

I do. I do. I just love geometry symmetry, you know?

[A]

He ruined that mustache.

[C]

He real. Well, did he? Or did the mustache do what it did?

[B]

Charlie Chaplin was trying to make it a different.

[C]

He married a child.

[A]

You know, Adolf was a popular name

[B]

back then, like John or something.

[A]

I couldn't in Germany.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

Yeah, Adolph was my.

[B]

Thing is, he loved blonde guys with blue eyes. He didn't. He didn't have those traits.

[A]

Well, he was Jewish, apparently.

[C]

Yeah,

[B]

Let's get into the.

[A]

He did kill himself.

[D]

Yeah, but I don't think it's because he was depressed. I mean, maybe he better get caught.

[A]

He couldn't be feeling too good. Listen, I mean, I don't know if he was peebag sad, but he's feeling great.

[B]

Do you want to get married?

[C]

Wait, did you just compare her depression peeing in her bed with Adolf Hitler killing himself?

[B]

You know what?

[C]

I'm sorry. I was killing himself. That's right. I'm gonna start substituting Hitler with the name Monet.

[B]

Okay, for who? Don't know. There's a game called Secret Hitler. We don't actually think Monet is Hitler.

[C]

No, but she's dominant in a game scenario.

[A]

Well, what is. Is Monet is charming and people believe her, but she's always lying, and it's really annoying. So you have a thing on the podcast where you're the. But there's a Thing in real life where people who know friends. The one who's a is actually not a. And the one who's not a is actually a.

[C]

So true.

[A]

That's that. That's the actual.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

That's the.

[C]

That's true. She's so mean to people.

[B]

Places they all seen mommy dearest with the hangers.

[A]

You're the hanger. But would I want to get married? The short answer is yes, I would like to get married. Yes. But I'm polyamorous, so legally I can't marry both my partners. So I think that eventually, whatever you want. I think what's going to happen is we're gonna get.

[C]

I think what's gonna happen.

[A]

We're gonna get married, but we will not let the public know which one of us is legally married. That will be none of their.

[C]

That's really nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you want a wedding? Wedding?

[A]

Yeah, for sure. I want a party.

[C]

Yeah, that's all we wanted.

[A]

Yeah, for sure it's a party. And I think that. But I think that if we have children, it'll be clear which one is which. Because one of my partners is black and one of my partners is white. The light skinned child will probably.

[C]

You want a child? You're the size of a child.

[B]

Do you think. Do you think you'll ask and what

[A]

are you 20ft tall and 1 and 350?

[C]

Yes. I'm too skinny, according to my doctor.

[B]

Do you want to be the one to ask or do you want to be asked?

[A]

I like to have a conversation about it. Like, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't want.

[B]

Let's have it.

[A]

I don't want to. We had it. We've had it. Oh, I don't want a proposal.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I like the idea of proposing more than like the idea of being proposed to.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I will not give. I will not give a reaction that will be instagramable.

[C]

What would you do? What do you think? Your reaction.

[A]

The girls who are like, Bob, wait, wait. Which one are you?

[C]

The white one.

[D]

Okay,

[C]

Bob.

[A]

His name is Jacob.

[C]

That's what I said.

[A]

He's right behind you.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Great. Classy.

[A]

He's right behind me.

[C]

Isn't he staring at me? Will you. Will you make me one of the happiest of of all three of us if you marry me?

[A]

Oh, Jacob, I would love to. We've had this conversation. I would. And I would love to marry you.

[C]

Okay, cut the cameras. That sucked.

[A]

That's what I would. But that's what I would do, though.

[C]

Yeah. You need to ask because.

[A]

Because I. But I don't think Jacob. I think Jacob's response to be more tepid than mine.

[B]

Why don't you ask?

[C]

Fight. Fight, Fight.

[A]

Jacob.

[C]

Jacob, are you happy?

[A]

Hey, baby.

[D]

What's the scenario?

[C]

Are you safe?

[D]

Are we at home?

[A]

Are we just like.

[D]

Are we on the podcast live?

[A]

We're doing a live podcast on stage in San. We wouldn't always save. We're at the. We're at the. What's the one, baby? The one we did. The Castro.

[C]

Yeah, us too.

[A]

She's like. She's like. She's like. You're at. You're at Burger King.

[C]

This.

[A]

Think I'm an oasis.

[C]

We can't even do Oasis. We do bow.

[B]

Can we go to Burger King?

[A]

So I'm opening, which is not a read.

[C]

Oh, wait.

[A]

Do you want to hear Jacob's response?

[B]

What?

[A]

Jacob, you have made me so happy in life. I'm so lucky to have you. Ever since the day I met you, my life has gone uphill non stop. And you have me through some of the hardest times of my life. Will you marry me?

[D]

You know, I'm open to having a wedding, but in this moment, I'm not interested in having our proposal story take place in front of the audience of the caster theater. So I'm down. But like, I don't think this is

[A]

the moment and I would not do it in front of the caster theater. That would be crazy.

[B]

I want to be in a hot air balloon.

[A]

In a hot air balloon.

[B]

And I want to be asked.

[C]

Oh, she's planned for a while. She's had this plan for a while.

[B]

He knows. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

He's young, though. He still has. He's young and we're fresh.

[B]

We're about to hit 2 years.

[A]

Gang, gang. How old is he?

[B]

He's 10 years younger than me. And I'm emotionally imagin.

[A]

That's the same age gap. Mary.

[C]

Maggie,

[A]

you're like, no, now we're 29. 39 now.

[B]

He's very emotionally mature and I'm very emotionally immature.

[C]

Okay, I'm not sure about that first statement. Is he because he's a cuck immature? No, no, no. Not the one that do it. Well, no. If they're not humiliating themselves, what's the point?

[A]

You're and humiliated.

[B]

I don't think he wants to be

[C]

hum the way I do it.

[B]

He wants to see me just be sexy with someone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Has he ever brought me up rounds?

[B]

You what were you asking?

[A]

If I feel like if Alexis is his type, I'm going to cough. He's probably not into you.

[C]

Oh, cuz I'm too conventionally attractive?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how conventionally attractive.

[B]

You're more conventionally attractive.

[A]

And on a scale of 1 to

[B]

10, how conventional he likes.

[A]

God damn it.

[B]

He likes fuller figure girls like me.

[A]

But ask my question. On a scale of 1 to 10, how conventionally attractive is Darby Bob? 10.

[C]

No, you don't get to ask her that. If we can't ask Monet the same

[A]

question about you, V10 is like, you are, I don't know, whoever the hottest guy. The. The whoever the hottest guy, conventionally speaking, like Alexander skarsgard in like 2010.

[C]

Alexis, where is she? I 10. I've already got my light bar going.

[B]

You're a 10.

[C]

I've got a lot on my list.

[B]

You're a 9. Listen, an 8. You're a 9.9.

[C]

Listen, I'm a 4 in LA, but in Chicago, baby, I was a 5. Hype. Okay, listen. Okay, you know what? It nene 1 to 10. What is this?

[B]

I'm not answering.

[A]

You can answer.

[C]

See, it's hard.

[D]

He's actually not going to answer because he doesn't have a mic.

[A]

I think.

[D]

I think if you want to answer,

[A]

you can come over me. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being incredibly conventionally attractive, and I'm going to say by black standards, because white people are more cons considered conventionally attractive by Eurocentric standards. That is not my opinion. That is just the. The opinion of the world. So if. If B. Jordan's a 10 and like Al Roker's a 1.

[B]

Oh, he's not a 1.

[C]

He's done so much work to get better. You know that OIC kid take your ball.

[A]

Was that crazy? You know, your OIC was k al roer one crazy.

[C]

No, he worked on the Today show. He literally, his whole job is talking about weather.

[A]

I am like a. I'm like a solid seven.

[C]

I was going to say you're more of like an 8.

[B]

8, 9.

[D]

Crazy. Drag him. This man is a 10.

[A]

Thank you, Jacob.

[C]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[B]

This man is.

[A]

Now do Darby. I mean, do Alexis. I know that.

[B]

Do you know.

[A]

I know we should have won when you were here that I didn't call you Darby once.

[B]

No, no, no, it's. That's true. That's true.

[A]

It's the two of you the same time.

[B]

It's. Here's the thing.

[A]

Do Alexis, do her now.

[B]

No, no, no. Oh, now.

[C]

Can I do your. Before Too long.

[B]

I've ever been? Yeah, before I was a three.

[C]

She was pissing in bad.

[B]

I used to be a twink. And I didn't know about this.

[C]

Well, I didn't know her in those times.

[B]

One time someone said I looked like Zac Efron. One time.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah. Who? It was an older man.

[C]

Was he asleep?

[B]

It was dark.

[C]

There we go.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And then. And. But I didn't know about that before then.

[A]

Even when the guy told you?

[B]

Well, I just didn't know that I was cute.

[A]

You're like my body.

[C]

You were so cute before I knew you. But then. But when you were boy time. Sad, sad, terrible boy. Really bad.

[B]

Really sad.

[C]

You're really bad at it.

[B]

Yeah. And now you were like, now I'm the hottest I've ever been.

[C]

And now I think you're a 12. I think you're so beautiful.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You have such beautiful tits, the biggest nipples in the biz. A gorgeous figure.

[B]

You grow and you grow boobs later in life.

[C]

And the hair under that hair is gorgeous.

[A]

Can you give me a. Yeah, it's

[B]

like a teacup saucer.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

If you're not careful, you'll see it.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy.

[C]

Slips out all the time.

[A]

That's a melanoma.

[B]

Where was I? I. Okay. I don't drink very much, but the other night at the twink pageant at Precinct, hosted by Meatball. Hi. She doesn't watch this, right? Or she does.

[A]

Oh, she's been on it. I think she watches when she's on it.

[D]

She.

[A]

And now she's being brought up. Someone's going to send her the clip.

[B]

I. I just took my boob out. Out to show her on stage. No. Oh, we were sitting by the door.

[A]

Would you whip a titty out on stage? Are you that kind of girl?

[B]

No. I mean, if I drink, I guess I am. I was drinking. Evely.

[C]

Did you pull it out or did it slip out?

[B]

No, I pulled it out.

[A]

Trans girls will show you their boobs.

[C]

Oh, for sure.

[B]

It's real cool to have a new

[A]

pair like trans girls. You're going to see a trans titty.

[D]

We can cut this. So I can't talk about it, but if you are backstage with Sasha Colby, she is walking around with her titties out.

[A]

I don't think you need to cut that.

[D]

So fiery.

[A]

I think it's public information.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

She, Mimi Marks, Kelly, Lauren, all the Chicago Go Trans girlies. I've seen your.

[B]

They Talk about euphoria. Not the show, the feeling. And you don't really understand it until you experience it. You're like, oh, yeah, this is cool.

[A]

I have a game I want to play with you, and Jacob's gonna explain it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I love games.

[C]

Wait.

[A]

Well, don't fight.

[C]

I'm glad Monet's not here.

[A]

No one storm out and hit anyone.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

Don't. Don't say, like, I don't treat you the way you treat me or anything.

[C]

Don't limit me. You were. I ate with. You ate with.

[B]

That's a deep.

[A]

That's a. That's a brief, brutal.

[C]

I really did.

[B]

But I also don't. I also, like, I'm not good at sticking up for myself. And that's something that she's taught.

[A]

But you ate in that one.

[B]

You did.

[A]

You walked out. You tied your shoes over the course of 15.

[B]

But I'm such a coward because I. But I'm such a coward because I waited until I was halfway down the stairs to yell it over my shoulder. That's why I was rolling the whole time. So I. I wonder if you can hear the downstairs.

[C]

You can.

[B]

Have you watched it?

[C]

No, I clicked through it to see how long it went. You can hear us streaming.

[D]

All right.

[A]

I am going to be asking questions. You were answering for the other person, Right?

[D]

So this is. This is the Newlywed. The Newlyweds game. Bob's gonna ask you a question.

[A]

Now we're fighting.

[D]

Like, what is your co. You don't

[A]

treat me the way I treat you.

[D]

I just.

[C]

Clarification.

[D]

What's your co host's favorite color? So you're gonna write down what she. Your favorite color.

[C]

And then I'm gonna write down what I.

[D]

What your co host favorite color is. And at the same time, you're gonna reveal and you get a point for

[A]

whoever guesses your answer is at the top.

[D]

Who is the better.

[A]

The bottom off. Ri. Who's going to know more about the other person? I just want to know real quick.

[B]

I think she'll know more about me.

[A]

How do you feel about that? Do you. Do you think that's true?

[B]

How many times lately have I been like, what happened to you?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I've told her I was molested a thousand times, and each time it feels like she's doing it again.

[A]

So I know you're molested. And. And we. This is our third time speaking.

[C]

Give me a light bar. Give me a light bar.

[A]

Can I say, too. I feel like we're in a scenario where like you. You know Alexis's Social Security number, but Alexis doesn't know her own.

[C]

Yeah. So one thing that well, I just

[A]

called, like, what's my Social Security number?

[B]

I do have to. I do have to say all. All of it in a rhythm. If you ask me to write it down one letter at a time.

[C]

The amount of times I've. I mean, I just. I feel like I handle all the admin for her so that she can grow boobs.

[A]

And they're growing.

[C]

And you know what?

[A]

If they stop growing, do you stop doing admin?

[C]

Hell yeah.

[D]

Wait, sorry. Before we start off the rip, do you know each other's phone number? Numbers? Could you. Could you say no?

[B]

Who knows phone numbers? How old are you?

[D]

31.

[B]

Okay, 31.

[C]

You're so small like a baby.

[B]

Yeah, baby. I remember my phone number from when I was little. 852505. I remember when number didn't have. You didn't have to do 31.

[A]

And has been for. He is a very much so 31. He's shooting me a look. Jacob is absolutely 31.

[B]

How old are you?

[C]

You look so young.

[B]

You look like a baby.

[C]

Oh, you look like a baby.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Jacob looks like a grown man. My partner looks like an adult grown man. I just want to be very clear about that.

[D]

All right.

[C]

I'd put him in my pocket.

[A]

So here we go. What is your co host song of the summer? So do yours at the top.

[C]

I know, I know. Alexis is.

[A]

And Alexis is over here still doodling.

[C]

Hers is going to be long.

[A]

She's just drawing pictures. Oh, you already have an answer down. I'm very excited to see this.

[C]

Oh, you just rode in the car with me yesterday, though, so you heard my.

[A]

Let her see what you're writing.

[C]

You heard my music like your own private.

[A]

Can you sing?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You can?

[C]

Yeah, we sing all the time.

[B]

Yeah, she's a beautiful voice.

[D]

And then also if there's any, like, clarification issues if somebody is something close or something. Bob is the arbiter in Tyber.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

All right. So hold on.

[B]

I'm sorry. I don't know how to spell.

[A]

We'll get the. We'll get the. It's not so that's what I'm all right.

[B]

Thank you. I told you, I'm from Texas.

[C]

Are these new markers? They write so well.

[A]

Well, thank you.

[B]

I noticed you gave me the pink and her the blue.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

Marker is crazy.

[C]

Thank you. Gender norms.

[A]

All right, so let's see our answers.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

What is your song of the Summer.

[C]

Oh, I'm just putting on Shania Twain all the time.

[A]

That's not what you say. What did you say?

[C]

What'd you say?

[B]

Wait, finish.

[C]

Calloway. I almost said Liz Calloway or Sarah Bareilles.

[B]

Anything. Liz Calloway or Sarah Bareilles.

[C]

Oh my God, I love Liz Calloway.

[D]

Did you watch the Swamp Princess?

[C]

The Swamp Princess?

[D]

Ms. Calloway, right. She's a Broadway singer, isn't she?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

She was Anastasia and Princess Odette and the Swan Princess.

[B]

Oh, let me see.

[D]

That's the belief know.

[C]

Okay, well now you really are sounding like a baby.

[B]

And I. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, you. I was so wrong.

[B]

You wrote yeah, because I told her yesterday.

[A]

We were talking.

[C]

She did Ballad of Phil.

[B]

And you know that guy on Tik Tok that makes those songs?

[D]

It's the groundhog song.

[A]

Song.

[B]

So good.

[D]

With such good taste in music.

[C]

Bangladesh love their oh my God.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Take me to Bangladesh. You never could be sausage on an open play. Never annoy me.

[B]

I'm not on Tik Tok but Mary did you know my boyfriend sent me that? I thought we were just great so satisfied. Who says it?

[C]

Who is it?

[B]

I'm gonna send you the song. Have you heard this Calloway do Meadowlark get the out.

[C]

No no, no no no.

[B]

She's playing it. Jacob. 80% of the time I get in

[A]

the I can't know you're open. But not for him to turn back around around Jacob.

[C]

It's I want you to know if

[A]

you know me and Jacob are not open if you know that's not true.

[B]

What?

[A]

I was joking that we're not open

[C]

but we are you're top oh but

[B]

yeah no we were talking about anytime

[C]

we needed a picture you're 10. No.

[B]

Yeah. I will put on one of your

[C]

Lord of the Rings soundtrack either the

[B]

trilogy movies or the Weston brought my music.

[A]

I have have 20 of these. Let's keep moving. All right, no one has a point. What is your co host astrology sign and ex And I will give you an extra point if you write down the birthday. If you can write down their sign and the actual birthday you have an opportunity to get two points right now.

[C]

Alexis. I swear to God.

[A]

I think I know Are you two really into astrology?

[C]

No, we've gotten into it.

[B]

My friend. My friend Rachel. Shout out. They love you.

[C]

They're very good.

[B]

They used to be that they're a comedy writer and a stand up but

[A]

they did used to do it.

[C]

Oh yeah. Blue coffee.

[B]

Yeah yeah yeah.

[C]

You Know the expensive one.

[B]

Blue bottle.

[C]

Blue bottle. Blue bottle. Blue hair.

[A]

You have to write something.

[C]

Oh, what was the question?

[A]

What is your Post Australia sign? You get two points. You get two points. You get a sign and you get there.

[B]

Do I get a point if I sign my own date, my own birthday?

[A]

No, we. I expect you to know that.

[B]

That. Okay.

[A]

And I. And also I want to be clear. Birth, it includes the year. Oh, birth, it includes the year. So crunch some numbers. You're trying to crunch some numbers.

[C]

I got it. I got it.

[B]

I know it immediately.

[A]

And I will give you one extra point if you guys know my birthday and my sign.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Which you were at my birthday.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

We were. So you should know this one.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That'll be one. So you have a. To get three points in this round.

[C]

I did have a light bar day that day.

[A]

Brilliant. Brutal.

[C]

Okay, you don't want to sit.

[A]

You can get say again. I cannot tell you what month it is. As a gay person, you should know.

[B]

I only know mine. I only know mine and hers signs. I don't know the rest of them.

[C]

You know my sign?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's so nice. Your birthday is.

[A]

You were there.

[C]

I know. Give me a second. What is today day?

[A]

We cannot give you. We cannot help you at all. You're like. You're going to. You're going to keep asking question like, and. And what day and year were you born in time? All right.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Let's see your answers. Let's see if you got this correct.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You.

[A]

You didn't write your own.

[C]

I know my birthday.

[A]

Well, you have to.

[D]

It's.

[A]

It's the rules.

[D]

Cuz you. You could change it up to cheat.

[A]

Oh, theoretically, darbs is.

[C]

I'm having fun. All right. July 25, 2001.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[C]

So what I have here is we're still standing. We have no idea what lay ahead.

[B]

I knew it was the 25th.

[A]

Yeah. What?

[C]

You got my birthday wrong.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

That's crazy. That's crazy.

[B]

I really thought it was the 25th. And the other day I could have sworn you said the 23rd. But now, now I might both wrong

[A]

because it's the 28th.

[C]

Oh. Yeah. I'm just bad at writing. It is the 25th. Oh, listen, that is not shocking to me, but it's also like.

[B]

I'm really sorry.

[A]

That's okay, right, though?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And the year.

[A]

And the year.

[C]

I mean, that's creative. I'll go with it. Just to keep the game moving. Yeah, sure.

[A]

And do we have yours? Correct. Correct.

[C]

May 1, 1985. I wrote cancer because I couldn't remember your sign. But I just hope one day if you do have cancer, I can hold your hand.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[C]

You take your last breath, I'm a tourist. And you'll go.

[A]

That is one point each. And you both got my birthday wrong.

[B]

Is it the 19th?

[A]

It's the 22nd.

[C]

Right. Because it was at midnight.

[B]

Yes, but you are a cancer. Right?

[C]

That's not my fault. And I stayed till midnight.

[A]

Are you camping? Point. Jake? Here's my question. Has your co host ever done poppers?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So again, at the top, tell me if you've done poppers. At the bottom, tell me if your co host has done.

[C]

Do we even have to write this down?

[A]

We're gonna. Yes, we have to write.

[C]

Okay, you.

[A]

What's up with you? And not. Not following the instructions and rules.

[C]

You know what it is?

[A]

Are you a bossy bottom? Like, you're like me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Honestly, I do wonder if I've caused my husband emotional harm.

[A]

Light bar.

[C]

I'm just.

[A]

Are you meaner than your husband?

[C]

Listen, I'm not mean.

[A]

Meaner than your husband.

[C]

Oh. I mean, to my husband, mean.

[B]

But I'm meaner than your husband.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah, my husband. Listen, I have a wig on. I have a wig on. It's coming.

[A]

My ears are right here.

[C]

It's because I'm so skinny.

[A]

Are you meaner than your husband? Husband.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah, my husband's the sweetest.

[B]

He's so sweet.

[C]

He's just like a little. He hates when I say this, but he's a little golden retriever.

[A]

Could you take him in a fight?

[B]

I don't. He's like old golden retriever.

[C]

What? I know. I just wanted that on record.

[A]

How big are we talking?

[C]

My camera.

[A]

Can you show with your hands? Can you show with your hands how you play Fortnite?

[B]

You know those slurp barrels? There you go.

[A]

Is it from your shoulder to your fingertip? What are you talking about? What is this? What is this metric?

[C]

I said it was hung. I didn't say it was a normal shape.

[A]

All right, we both have. Yes.

[C]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

Yes, yes. All right, you each get a point. Let's go to this one. Which Disney character is your co host most like? So you say, what are you. Which Disney character you most like? And then you'll write at the bottom, which Disney character your co host is most like? I actually feel like I Have answers for both of you too.

[C]

Do you?

[A]

What kind of. Yeah, I do actually. Cuz I. For me, I feel like she's lowkey. A combination of Chip and Mrs. Pots.

[C]

You have the youth of sh. And you have the shape of Mrs. Pots.

[B]

Off to the cupboard with you now, chief.

[A]

And that's.

[C]

Wait. That made me hard.

[A]

That was pretty good.

[C]

Mine's small though, so I. You can't see it.

[A]

And who are you? I feel like you're. I mean, I don't know if it's Disney princesses.

[C]

There could be anyone.

[A]

Oh, well, she's.

[C]

She's the.

[D]

She's the.

[A]

She's the mean. The. The kid from Disney who's say she's Sid.

[D]

From. From.

[A]

From toy stores.

[C]

Trans now. Right in the canon.

[A]

What?

[B]

No one knows?

[C]

I thought someone said that on the Internet.

[A]

I think that was a.

[C]

You know what?

[D]

What?

[C]

Think the change you want to see.

[A]

There is a lesbian couple in the Buzz Lightyear movie though.

[C]

The Buzz Lightyear movie?

[A]

It's called Buzz.

[B]

Oh, it should have been called Boors.

[A]

Damn. Tim Allen found dead. Not Tim Allen. Who is it?

[C]

Don't talk about Tim Allen. I'll get hard.

[A]

Wait, you like Tim Allen?

[C]

I was molested by someone who looked like him.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

So he was my like crush forever.

[A]

That's a crazy pull. That's a crazy pool.

[C]

Wait, who am I?

[A]

I. Yours is at the top, Mary.

[C]

Oh, you don't.

[B]

She doesn't.

[C]

Listen, listen. I have light bar tomorrow.

[D]

Alexis.

[A]

Is this a thing? Is this a constant thing?

[C]

I have a light bar tomorrow.

[B]

But listen, you pick your battles with your best friend.

[A]

I. I guess you do.

[C]

The little.

[A]

Do you have another best friend, either of you?

[B]

No, I have besties.

[C]

Yeah, I do. Michael Marino. Michael in Chicago. Hey, Michael.

[B]

Okay, fine. Then my. My friend Patrick in Chicago. They. Them only likes bears. They're hot.

[A]

I invited you to my studio. We hung out as your other best friend. I invited you over and I showed you around and I gave you snacks.

[B]

Well, I was going. I was going. Geologically. I was only in Chicago. Oh, and then for the Valley, it's Bob the Drag Queen.

[A]

Thank you, Jesus. All right, so who do we have? Who are you? Who are you most like?

[C]

Okay, it's technically not Disney. Get fucked. That little rat flying thing in Anastasia Bar talk. I'm not.

[A]

You had me a rap.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

And who did you write?

[B]

I'm. I'm Jeanette from the Chipettes. Alvin and the Chipmunk. The girl version.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

Oh, you are Jeanette.

[B]

Thank you so much. I didn't wear glasses today because I

[A]

actually glued my lace down, you know, you're.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because Mrs. Potts a little too long.

[C]

I said that you were the so bad.

[B]

They're so short.

[C]

I think you're the I need six eggs lady.

[B]

Yes. Thank you.

[A]

Who is she?

[C]

And Beauty, I need six eggs. Marie, the baguettes.

[D]

Hurry up.

[C]

What you call me?

[A]

So you both got this wrong, but how many points do they have?

[C]

2.

[D]

They each have two.

[A]

All right. You have. Oh, my God. You know each other. The exact same amount.

[B]

Wait a minute.

[A]

Wait. Oh, you did write Janette.

[C]

Oh, no, no. I'm a f. I'm the Finding Nemo braces girl. I should have gotten braces in high school, but I thought it would up my singing voice. And I had show choir.

[B]

Loves a weird pet. She's normal right now, but she's had a normal one. Some strange pets.

[C]

I had a dog with one eye. They found her on the side of the road in Kentucky with a BB in her eye. I had a hairless rat. It felt like a scrotum.

[B]

Why do we have to end?

[A]

I have a meeting.

[C]

Bob has a meeting.

[B]

With who?

[A]

I don't even know.

[B]

Madonna.

[C]

Can we.

[B]

Can we come?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You cannot.

[C]

She is really easy to get along with.

[A]

Dude. Not come. Do not come. All right.

[C]

God.

[A]

Where can they find you? On the Internet if they want to follow imh, which I just found out was my hom. Homosexual opinion.

[C]

Yeah, it is. So no one has any idea what our show is called? And I blame Auntie Chan. She's the one that named it.

[A]

Where can they find you

[B]

the show at? On Instagram and tik tok and YouTube and IMHO, the podcast. Wherever you get podcast, podcasts.

[A]

And you have anything live coming up, they can see you at.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. We have. Darby wins the talent show. It's a show that I host and automatically win. And then everyone competes for second and third place.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm a stage manager. July 16th. The Dynasty typewriter.

[C]

July 14th. I'll be task mistress at. She won season one of Task Mistress, hosted by Tony Stark.

[B]

Winning season ones of things.

[C]

Congratulations. And I'm gonna lose season two.

[B]

And Enola Holmes is out on Netflix.

[C]

Who is that?

[A]

Who the hell is that?

[C]

Is that us?

[D]

It's Sherlock Holmes daughter played by Millie Bobby Brown.

[B]

No, it's his sister.

[C]

Listen, stop. It was a different time.

[A]

Thank you all so much for joining us. Right, can we come back?

[B]

I feel like we didn't have enough time. I have questions about traders

[A]

sat.