The One Where Bob Trips An Old Woman

Summary

Podcast Summary: Sibling Rivalry – "The One Where Bob Trips An Old Woman"

Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Producer: Studio71 & Confetti Cannon
Date: April 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is classic Sibling Rivalry: a hilarious, irreverent, and wildly tangential exchange between Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change. The duo dive into stories of toilet paper conspiracies, clean shits, serial killer obsessions, home security quirks, a true tale of rescuing an old woman during LA fires, and a fantasy prank involving faking a hit-and-run. Packed with rapid-fire banter, playful bickering, and their unmistakable chemistry, the episode delivers signature laughs and unexpected real moments – all wrapped around the titular moment where Bob describes "tripping an old woman" (in context, helping her out, not hurting her).

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Detailed Breakdown of Key Segments

1. Toilet Paper Caper & Bathroom Etiquette

[02:42 – 07:12]

• The Great Toilet Paper Mystery:
  Bob launches into a humorous investigation when Taylor brings in a suspiciously partial package of toilet paper. He immediately suspects theft, leading to a web of accusations and mock seriousness.

  • Quote: “I'm befuddled… Where is the rest of the toilet paper?” – Bob [03:36]
  • Monét rationalizes: warehouse is closed, it probably came from another bathroom.
  • They trade confessions about bathroom strategies for when supplies run low.

• On Clean Shits & Wiping:

  • Monét touts the benefits of a “fiber journey,” describing her “clean breaks.”
  • Bob teases her for previous claims, leading to playful contradictions and delightfully TMI banter.

• Mooning & Bidets:

  • A diversion into mooning (Monét claims she never has), Tushy bidet ads involving “chocolate syrup on inside-out balloons”, and the etymology of “exhume.”
  • Quote: “It like kind of exhumes your hole.” – Monét [07:06]
  • Bob seizes on her word choice, riffing on exhumation, dead bodies, and post-mortem mysteries.

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2. Will & Testament, Drag Legacies, and Trust [19:45 – 26:34]

• Talking Wills:
  The queens get real about death planning. Bob chooses Bianca Del Rio to inherit his drag memorabilia for a future drag museum—explaining the logic and a bit of lingering mistrust.

  • Quote: “I’m not gonna tell anyone what they got in my will. I just don’t trust y’all.” – Bob [20:27]

• The Art of Trolling:
  Bob and Monét debate the definition of “trolling,” spark a series of playful accusations (who is sneakier?), and call out podcast lore about each other’s habits and online reputation.

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3. Jerseys, Childhood Movies, & True Crime Obsession

[09:29 – 15:52, 33:53 – 35:52]

• On Jerseys:
  The pair both show up in hockey jerseys (Bob: Mighty Ducks, Monét: TikTok Shop find), sparking more banter on childhood movies and movie “moves” versus “actions.”

  • Quote: “You know why I’m wearing a hockey one.” — Bob [12:30]
  • The disagreement turns into classic circular sibling squabbling.

• True Crime & Serial Killers:
  Bob reveals a brief fascination with true crime, especially John Wayne Gacy; Monét says she’s not into it and doesn’t like hearing the gory details.

  • Discussion transitions to 1970s serial killers, the introduction of DNA forensic technology, and rampant hitchhiking culture back then.

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4. The Old Woman Story: (The Episode’s Title)

[41:47 – 45:47]

• Bob Rescues (Not Trips!) an Old Woman:
  In the context of LA fires, Bob recounts driving home, seeing an old woman walking toward danger to find her son, and convincing her to get in the car so they could take her to safety.
  • Quote: “She could have been a killer…or taken us to her son who was a killer.” – Bob [42:24]
  • Jacob, Bob’s partner, recounts how it took 10 minutes to persuade her. Bob describes clearing supplies out of the car, the traffic, and the challenges.
  • Quote: “She was just old enough to not be confused—super with it. I mean, she’s walking into a fire.” – Bob [45:10]

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5. Home Security & Suburb Versus City Living

[46:12 – 51:38]

• Serial Killer in North Hollywood:
  Monét shares concerns about a recent local serial killer who simply checked for unlocked doors.

  • They bicker about the culture of locking doors in small towns vs. suburbs vs. cities.
  • Bob finds it wild that Monét’s partner, Andy, used to not lock his door in WeHo (West Hollywood).

• Home Defense Tools:
  Monét says she keeps a decorative hammer by her bed for home protection; Bob quizzes her on placement and utility, leading to more revelations about their respective bedroom setups—including pillow counts and bed heights.

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6. Game Night (and Cheating), Plotting "The Heist"

[29:03 – 31:11, 61:21 – 66:34]

• Drag Family Drama:
  Bob accuses Monet (and Andy) of cheating during game nights in Secret Hitler and Anomia—sparked by old wounds and playful “setting seeds of doubt.”

• Home Invasion Challenge:
  Bob insists he could get into Monét’s house undetected and is eager to prove it, eventually seeking permission to ambush her with a Super Soaker for content.

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7. Serial Killer Escape Fantasy (The Classic SR “What Would You Do”)

[54:08 – 59:41]

• Survival Scenario:
  Bob is pressed on how he’d escape a serial killer in his garage with no keys or phone—cueing an elaborate hypothetical featuring Usain Bolt as the killer (!) and an old woman as a decoy.

  • Quote: “I trip her, stick my leg out. She falls down. I start running…” – Bob [58:20]
  • Monét points out the moral ambiguity and criminal culpability.

• Big Houses vs. Apartments:
  Bob reflects on why massive homes seem unsafe—too many entrances—whereas his apartment requires passing through four doors and an elevator.

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8. Drag Family Loyalty & Hidden Bodies

[61:40 – 66:34]

• Who Would Help Hide a Body?
  The hosts debate which friends or partners would actually help conceal a body if needed.
  • Quote: “Jacob would turn me in immediately.” – Bob [62:04]
  • Envisioning an elaborate (prank) scenario where they stage an accident then test Andy’s resolve to keep a secret or hide a “body.”
  • Offers and counter-offers about the ethics, logistics, and props (including concerns about using realistic weapons after "Alec Baldwin"/Rust).

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9. Signature Chaotic Banter, Shoutouts, and Closing

Scattered Throughout

• Shoutouts to jersey wearers, Mighty Ducks fans, and drag queens everywhere.
• Jacob is frequently called in for fact-checks, comic relief, or as a “straight man” providing balance.
• Riffs about bedroom pillow setups, bed heights, and their mutual habit of ignoring each other’s details—punctuated with loving jabs and classic “you don’t listen!” refrains.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Suffering:
  "Don't give them no pain relief. Let them suffer." – Bob, on Mother Teresa's supposed beliefs [13:56]
• On Old Woman Rescue:
  “She’s like, I want to walk to my apartment building. My son’s gonna pick me up there. It’s like bumper to bumper traffic, everyone’s trying to get away from the fire. And Bob was like, get in the car.” – Jacob [43:07]
• On Clean Breaks:
  “When I take a shit, it’s a clean. It’s a clean break.” – Monét [05:00]
• On Danger:
  “If need be, I could have fucked her up.” – Bob, on potentially fighting the old woman if needed [42:43]
• On Friendship:
  “You don’t look at me, you don’t pay me.” – Bob, after Monét doesn’t notice his new purse [55:41]
• On Youth:
  “A bed on the floor is a young person’s game.” – Monét [49:42]
• On Hiding a Body:
  “Jacob would turn me in immediately.” – Bob [62:04]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:42] Bob investigates “missing” toilet paper
• [04:23] Bob & Monét on bathroom emergencies, clean breaks
• [07:06] Bidet ad riff & “exhumes your hole”
• [19:45] Will & testament, drag legacies
• [33:53] Serial killer genre, true crime pod culture
• [41:47] Bob’s “tripping an old woman” real rescue story
• [46:12] Serial killers in LA, home security
• [54:08] Serial killer garage escape scenario
• [58:20] Bob trips an old woman in hypothetical, discusses ethics
• [62:04] Who would (or wouldn’t) help hide a body?
• [63:01+] Planning a prank “hit-and-run” for Andy

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The Sibling Rivalry Experience

If you missed the episode, this was a classic: rapid, hilarious, and sometimes dark tangents, balanced by heart and authenticity. Underneath the chaos, Monét and Bob’s friendship shines—marked by unfiltered honesty, endless ribbing, and even a little shared existential dread.

Memorable Takeaway:
Sometimes the "trip" isn't really about knocking down an old woman, but about helping someone when it matters—while never missing a chance to extract a joke, and maybe a little chaos, along the way.

Transcript

[Jacob]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Jacob]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Jacob]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Jacob]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

I am your host Stassi Schroeder. Welcome to Tell Me Lies, the Official Podcast. What's the most unhinged thing of season three?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Steven because he's so evil, I do think he is misunderstood.

[Monet X Change]

You see everyone face consequences. It's intoxicating. The writers just know how to trick ya. There's always a twist in this show, so nothing you would expect. Tell Me Lies the Official Podcast now streaming and stream the new season of Tell Me Lies on Hulu and Hulu on Disney.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen

[Monet X Change]

and I'm Monet X Change and this is sibling rivalry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

On today's episode, we break news. In the toilet paper caper, Bob trips an old lady and we find out

[Monet X Change]

what made Monet say this Young's Person game. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't give them no pain relief. Let them suffer.

[Monet X Change]

Have you seen that thing people play online with friends where it's like glasses of clear liquid and one of them is vodka? I mean obviously I couldn't do it with you, but I always wanted to do that one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, like you're irritated Cause I don't.

[Monet X Change]

Cause why'd you say? Who said? I said obviously I Can't do it with you. Why does it seem.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why does it seem okay? What I meant to say was why does it seem like you're irritated?

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Yeah. You didn't say team before. I'm not irritated.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You like to do with you.

[Monet X Change]

I would like to do with you, but I can't do with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do with somebody else.

[Monet X Change]

I know. I, I, I do someone else. I just said I gotta do with him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you gonna do it, Andy?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, we're gonna do it together.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's not gonna know about it.

[Monet X Change]

So it's four glasses. Three of them are water, one of them is vodka.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he got to say, I was using the restroom just now, and I was like, oh, we need toilet paper. And then Taylor was like, I'm gonna go grab the toilet paper. I ordered some. He just came back with like a,

[Monet X Change]

like, it's not a full thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did Taylor just steal some toilet paper? I didn't see, like, if, I assume if you have to go get toilet paper because I ordered some, you would get. You would have, like, a completely closed package. But this is like, there were only four in there, and it looked like it was like a, Like a.

[Monet X Change]

Probably ordered a bulk one, and then he, like, brings them in at a time, and it would probably at the bottom of it, so he'd bring the rest of it in. He probably started with 12 each time. He brings four, and now there's four.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So he's going two doors down to bring one roll at a time.

[Monet X Change]

Maybe it's not across the street. Isn't it just across the street?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We need to find out what's going on here. We have to get to the bottom of this.

[Monet X Change]

Are you this upset about this toilet paper?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not upset. I'm befuddled.

[Monet X Change]

Are you, Are you that. Are you that befuddled by this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, I am. Where is the rest of the toilet paper? So, Taylor. Cause you went to go grab the toilet paper. You have, like, a half a bag. Where, where did you get. Where did you just get the toilet paper? Where did you. Where did you get the toilet paper from? Because you said you went to the warehouse to get the toilet paper, but you, you have, like, small chunks of it.

[Monet X Change]

The warehouse is closed, so nobody's working there, so they can't accept any deliveries.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So where did you steal the toilet paper from?

[Monet X Change]

From a different bathroom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's someone else's toilet paper. It's our toilet paper. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I was on my own. We share toilet paper. Brokey. How many? So last night I was getting ready to. I was finishing up what I do in the bathroom when I'm on my phone.

[Monet X Change]

Which would tell us pray.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When I'm on my phone. Yes. And I look over. You ever have the pedigree? I'm like, oh, shit, I gotta get this done in like three square.

[Monet X Change]

Well, no. Cause we keep toilet paper.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like, I gotta get this done. Well, we do too. But then there's a thing of toilet paper. Like, there's the toilet paper on the roll and there's a thing of extra toilet paper. There was nothing in there either. So I was like, bitch, I gotta get this done in like three squares.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, worst case scenario, you just put your panties up, get up again, go get the toilet paper and come back and clean up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are you leaving?

[Monet X Change]

That was Schmutz said if you stand up, you're gonna just dirty your whole asshole.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it's not schmutz. But I cannot fathom. I mean, I have done it before when I have to, like. But like, standing up without wiping is crazy. It is.

[Monet X Change]

But like, you know, because I'm on my fiber journey, so when I take a shit, it's a clean. It's a clean break.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You've been saying mone, you and I.

[Monet X Change]

This is an ASMR podcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now, when you say something and then I repeat back what you said, and then you say you didn't say it. And then when a month later you say the thing again.

[Monet X Change]

What did I say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It drives me crazy.

[Monet X Change]

What did I say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've mentioned your.

[Monet X Change]

You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're pulling an as 10. You're pulling an as 10. What did I say? Because I mentioned you and your clean shits where you don't have to watch because one day you were like. You were like. When? You were like, I don't even need a wipe. And then I mentioned that you were like, I never said that. Now you're like, honey, that's on a. See, you did once say, I need to wipe.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, yes. If you let me finish a thought without before cutting me off.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bitch.

[Monet X Change]

What I said was. But you won't cut your speech off. What I said was, when I'm on my fiverr journey, oftentimes I don't have to wipe, but it goes like. Your body responds differently. Sometimes I do have to take another some swipes back there, but there have been some times.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it that.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, you know what I mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wiping. Is it all that?

[Monet X Change]

Have you ever seen those demonstrations of the tushy? I think it's such great advertisements for It. They take a balloon, but it's inside out, so the nipple is. You see what I'm saying? So it looks like this. There's no point to it, but it's still the creases.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You ever mooned anyone?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never mooned anyone?

[Monet X Change]

Your whole life will be a full moon, honey.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It could be like a little gibbous moon. Just like a little gibbous. Like half the moon.

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You've never mooned anyone your whole life.

[Monet X Change]

I wanna show you something really quick.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What?

[Monet X Change]

Well, it'll be stale by the time anyway.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Forget I said it.

[Monet X Change]

I'll tell you. Sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hate, hate, hate your hair and makeup. I cannot stand when you do this.

[Monet X Change]

You are a calamity of errors today. You are just all over the place.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not Eric. Me. You're the one who can't even fucking. Oh, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

As I say. Okay, so the tushy advertisement. Yeah, tushy. So what they do is they take like chocolate syrup and they put it on the thing and then they take a toilet paper and they wipe it and they're like. You see how there's still residue here? Then they turn on the bidet and they put the thing in the thing and it just cleans the butthole. I'm like, oh my God. A bidet would be. It's such a. Such a. It like kind of exhumes your hole. It gets things out of there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exhumes?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Isn't it? When you like dig. What's the difference between. Exhuming is when you pull up a dead body?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, so like pulling up the dead body from, like pulling out the dead.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Exhuming is taking a dead body from the grave. Would you allow us to exhume your body if something in the fairies happened in your death? Oh, yeah.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, but I mean, you would find out with the toxicology report or like the autopsy. It's intrinsic to that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean, I'm just asking. I don't know what your healthcare directive is, I guess healthcare directive stops after you're dead. Like after. Like maybe, like it can't go on in perpetuity. I guess it kind of can.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I think it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Right, but you're giving us permission to exhume your body if under any circumstances.

[Monet X Change]

Uh, yeah. So I think so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. So that's locked in.

[Monet X Change]

Uh huh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So for any reason I can't exhume your body?

[Jacob]

You.

[Monet X Change]

Because we're on camera. We're locked in. What do you mean we're locked in?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, your words Matter. So what if after your what if post mortem, we want to prove that you did have a bbo and we exhume the body and we.

[Monet X Change]

What kind of sick person do you have to be to when I zoom my body?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is wrong with you, Monet? To exonerate your name?

[Monet X Change]

I don't care if people think I have a bvo. I know I didn't. I don't care. So what's that? What do you mean you know you didn't? Cause I know I didn't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How would you know? What if you were put under and then you woke up and your ass was fat?

[Monet X Change]

You don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Doctors do stuff like that.

[Monet X Change]

I'm like, oh, my ass is sore. I can't sit on my ass.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wonder what happened.

[Monet X Change]

Just some bad sushi. They would have to inoculate me for that shit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, Don't try to obfuscate the game that we're playing. I don't. I don't even need to. I already know what mine is. But we, we, we. I, I, I've already clocked yours. Why did you wear your Mighty Ducks? They're not a real team, right?

[Monet X Change]

No, they're just from that movie. It was one of my favorite movies growing up.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I loved it growing up, and I watched it a lot, but then something happened and I just kind of like, it's. All the memories of it have faded. All I remember is the. The knuckle puck, the knuckle pie, where you put it on the side and you hit it.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it's a kn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The V formation, the V. The flying V. Do you think the flying V actually works?

[Monet X Change]

I don't think so. I think in real hockey, a lot of these things that happen in these movies, in real sports things, they're like, girl, are you kidding me? Like, there's a big scene in Gotta Kick it Up. It's a Disney Channel original movie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gotta kick it up, where the girls

[Monet X Change]

are going, they're cheerleaders. I think they're trying to do it. And they do this thing. And I'm like, girl, this song. It's been like 20 years since I've seen this movie. But they do this move and I'm like, I don't think that's a practical move in cheerleading. I don't think anyone can really do this move.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can you give us any information about the move?

[Monet X Change]

I remember it was like a. It was like. It was a. I don't remember. But anyone who sees a movie, is

[Bob the Drag Queen]

it akin to spirit fingers?

[Monet X Change]

No. It's like a physical, like, impossible thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause you know about spirit fingers, like

[Monet X Change]

from Bring it On.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, a cheer move.

[Monet X Change]

Spark. I mean, what do you mean?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Spear finger? Yeah, but it's a cheer move that they put in a cheer move.

[Monet X Change]

It's not a move. It's just an action. I would say it's an action, not a move.

[Jacob]

What's the movie called again?

[Monet X Change]

Gotta Kick it out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's the difference between a move and an action?

[Monet X Change]

I think a move is, like, when you think of, like, this is not a move. Like, a move in cheerleading would be like something that's, like, ostentatious. Something that's hard to do. This is not hard to do.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is a move.

[Monet X Change]

I think it's an action.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A move doesn't have to be hard. Like a pas de beret is not hard, but not hard. But, like, this is an act. No.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob, can you do.

[Jacob]

Is it from this scene?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do they make a big deal about the move?

[Monet X Change]

No, it's like girls told us, like,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

in spirit fingers, they make a big deal about the spirit fingers.

[Monet X Change]

It's not a big deal. I mean, they do it because Sparky Pilastery, who they paid all this money, is telling them about this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where is he?

[Monet X Change]

The actor or Sparky Flash? I don't. I mean, he was like a big name actor.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Was he? I don't understand. Where is he?

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember. Who was?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Parker Lash. He was an iconic part of that movie, for sure.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, he gave them law school. Like this. Like, remember that scene? This. The spirit fingers. Oh, what's his name?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ian.

[Monet X Change]

Ian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it Ian Jacob? Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Ian Roberts. Oh, wow. He looks very different there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was over 20 years ago.

[Monet X Change]

It was.

[Jacob]

Most recent thing he did was a driver at a college campus in a moving 2017.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Shout out to Sparky Pilastri. Icon. The icon that you are, Ian Roberts.

[Monet X Change]

That scene was very.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was really fit in that movie, I feel.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it was very fun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, he was in good shape.

[Jacob]

I mean, he's 60 now.

[Monet X Change]

He's 69.

[Jacob]

60 now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

60 now. Shout out to you, Ian, 69. You want to shout anyone out?

[Monet X Change]

Ooh, I want to shout out anyone who's wearing a jersey. If we're listening to this episode and you were wearing a jersey, we're shouting you out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to get.

[Monet X Change]

Why are you wearing a hockey one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're wearing a hockey one.

[Monet X Change]

I know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm at.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, see why you got. Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are you wearing. Why are you wearing a hockey one? Why are you so. Why Are you wearing a hockey one? Is crazy. Why is so extra.

[Monet X Change]

I just literally said, are you wearing a hockey one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is that you're wearing a hockey one. And ask me why I'm wearing a hockey one.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, exactly why. I know why. I just said why I'm wearing one. Why are you wearing one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know why I'm wearing a hockey one.

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet, you already know the answer to this. I think what's driving me crazy. You know why I'm wearing a hockey one.

[Monet X Change]

Well, it's a podcast, Bob. Engage and tell the audience.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But they're not wondering. Yes, they are.

[Monet X Change]

They're probably. I'm sure they're wondering why.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're wondering why I'm wearing a hockey one.

[Monet X Change]

Do you ask me. I said why I. And I asked you. Ask.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wonder why you wearing a lucky.

[Monet X Change]

Why?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I never asked you why. I said, is this Mighty Ducks? Is that a real movie? I never asked you why you were

[Monet X Change]

wearing hockey, but I'm asking you why you're wearing one.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bottom. I know, but you're acting like they're wondering, and they're not wondering.

[Monet X Change]

They might wonder.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're not wondering. They're wondering specifically about me, about us together. Offer them why you're wearing a hockey jersey and then tell them why I'm wearing a hockey jersey. They're not wondering why I'm specifically wearing a hockey jersey.

[Jacob]

You are.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So tell them why you're wearing a hockey jersey. Be the change you want to see in the world. Oh, so you don't believe in Gandhi. So Gandhi's a piece of shit. Mahatma Gandhi. You know, Mahatma Gandhi was apparently like a. He did something with kids. He what? Did, like, something with kids. Let me.

[Monet X Change]

That's a very big.

[Jacob]

Why don't we do a fact checking before we.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, that's a big statement to make.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think he did something.

[Jacob]

And where did you hear this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I read on TikTok. No, I read about it. I think he did something with kids. And apparently Mother Teresa was really into people suffering. Like, she believed that suffering was the pathway to righteousness. So people would be in her hospitals, and she'd be like, don't give them no medicine. Do not give them medicine. Don't give them no pain relief. Let them suffer.

[Monet X Change]

Clap if you think she should suffer. Well, Jacob was looking at the Gandhi thing. Oh, God. This is about to be your.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm pretty sure Mahatma Gandhi did something with underage girls. I mean, I'm almost positive underage by America standards.

[Jacob]

You are. You are technically right. I don't know if now is the time to go into it because, like, it's a. It's a weirder. And I feel like the conversation about Gandhi and his, like, personal flaws is like a.

[Monet X Change]

More.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm just saying something.

[Jacob]

Okay, I. I think what I. This is also what I've heard. Like, what I do remember reading be. It's in a brief fact checking thing. So this might not be 100 true pre fact check. If I'm. If I'm. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, man.

[Jacob]

He did, like, a weird thing where he was testing himself on his will to abstain from sex. So he would, like, have, like, women sleep in his bed with him but, like, do nothing with them, which is, like, objectively weird. And like, that. That's why it's like a weird.

[Monet X Change]

Like, that is weird.

[Jacob]

And I do think some of them were underage, but also, like, he didn't do anything with them, but, like, it was still weird.

[Monet X Change]

It is weird.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gandhi, if you're watching comment below, he's dead, right? Gandhi is 100% dead and has been dead for a very long time.

[Monet X Change]

Do you know that? I've told you these facts before. They're like my favorite little facts. That we're closer to Cleopatra than she was to the pyramids. I just love that. That's just so.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You mean the creation of the pyramids? Because the pyramids.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, yeah, like the creation. Like. Like, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tell us why you're wearing a hockey jersey.

[Monet X Change]

I wear it because I got on the Tick Tock shop and I thought it was cute and.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tell them why I'm wearing a hockey jersey. I don't know. You know why.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know why you're wearing. Can you tell us?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tell them why I'm wearing the hockey.

[Monet X Change]

You tell us why you're wearing it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm wearing the hockey jersey because Monet came in and she's wearing a hockey jersey. And I said, oh, I have a hockey jersey. I bought this on tour in Canada when I was. I wore up to the meet and greet on my crazy Black lady tour. And I was like, I'm gonna throw my.

[Monet X Change]

And he kept it all the time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I don't really throw clothes away. I give them away, but I don't really. I throw away underwear. Obviously you don't give away under undergarments except a corset. I will give away a corset.

[Monet X Change]

I have so many corsets. I have so many corsets and I

[Bob the Drag Queen]

don't know, I give them to someone who needs a corset?

[Monet X Change]

I feel like they're so like thing to your body cause all the ones I have are custom ones that have got made by someone. Like they're not like store bought.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you done your.

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[Monet X Change]

I know I have.

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have you done your last will and testament in your every every.

[Monet X Change]

I need to do it. I am going to do it in a few months.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bang. Now what? What do I get?

[Monet X Change]

Bang into the room. I can't stop quoting Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just kid's a piece of shit.

[Monet X Change]

Jessie J. She come out with a new album this year. I'm very exciting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jessica J.

[Monet X Change]

It's been so long.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know if her name is Jessica. I'm assuming, I'm really just assuming.

[Monet X Change]

I think it's Jessie.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I did my will. Her name is Jessica Ellen Cornish.

[Monet X Change]

Cornish, like a Cornish hen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So she has a thick Brit accent.

[Monet X Change]

Oh yeah. Well, where is she? I think she's from South London or something. She's a London gal.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I did my will and I was like, I'm not gonna tell anyone what they got in my will. Just I don't trust y'. All. Well, not unite in it, but I don't trust the people. And then I was like, well, there's one person I think I actually need to tell. Like there's one person I'm like, I do need to actually tell because they're in my will and they're gonna receive some stuff and I Want them to know. So Bianca has been talking about creating this drag museum. And I was like, well, I don't have anyone in my family who is into drag. You throw your own drag away. So I know you'll throw my shit away. You tried to give my drag away. My iconic movie garment that I made away. So I was like, I'm not gonna give it to Monet, obviously. So I was like, I'm gonna give it to Bianca. I'm gonna let my friends and family get things they want. The crown itself is gonna go to Bianca's museum, and she doesn't.

[Monet X Change]

Museum.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's. You're not listening to anything I'm saying.

[Monet X Change]

You never said that she had the fucking ass.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bianca's working on building a tribe. You did not say that. I did.

[Monet X Change]

Did Bob say this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Monet X Change]

I did not hear that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just like the other time when you said I didn't mention wizard of Oz before you, and you did. So you're wrong again. You don't listen to me when I'm talking. This is in. How. There's not even a mirror here. What are you. What are you doing? If you're not listening to me on the podcast, what do you. If you're not willing to communicate with your interlocutor, what are you doing?

[Monet X Change]

Y' all try to throw in 19 words to confuse me. Bitch, I already clocked you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I could use one.

[Monet X Change]

I already clocked you. I could use one. I clocked you a long time ago, baby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think. You didn't. You didn't.

[Monet X Change]

I did.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I haven't even said it yet.

[Monet X Change]

I bid.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, I called. I was like, I should let her know. So If I.

[Monet X Change]

And 2 minutes pass. By the way, Jacob, in the unlikely

[Bob the Drag Queen]

event that I pass away before Bianca, in the unlikely event I'm not, I'm out. You're living.

[Monet X Change]

You're not. Bianca lives a very healthy life. Bianca's not out here having.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Bianca has more holes in her nose than the fucking craters on the moon.

[Monet X Change]

She doesn't do it that much anymore.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How do you know? I know.

[Monet X Change]

We talk about it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You talk to Milk about her cocaine use?

[Monet X Change]

She. She doesn't use cocaine anymore.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You called BJ and talk about her cocaine use? You are on your. You really. Ever since you hung out with that one girl, you've been out of control.

[Monet X Change]

One girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The one girl you two have. You two are very aligned. Anyway, I called Bianca and be like, hey, this is my plan. If I pass away before you, even if I don't pass the museum that you're working on will get my drag and you can display some of the items. And because I believe that she. Because she is a costumer for. She's a costumer before. She'll know how to take care of things and yada, yada, yada, she. I called her, by the way. This has happened to me twice this week. Two times a week, I've called someone. They've asked me a question that I have never, ever done in my life, that I have never, ever been accused of in my life. Twice this week, I call. She goes, are you recording this? I said, I'm not. I'm not recording. She goes, a prank. I. I say, I'm not. I don't. I don't secretly. I'm not on that Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift shit. I'm not. I'm not. I don't secretly record people.

[Monet X Change]

Bob, you are on you, right? You are as you. As a fucking troll online. I don't know if you know this. You're. You are known to be a troll online.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is literally you. You are a troll, Monet. You're describing yourself.

[Monet X Change]

So why are people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why are you calling people?

[Monet X Change]

They're like, are you recording this? Are you around? Because that is what you. That's their perception.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What am I trolling online? Give me one example.

[Monet X Change]

But all the time. You troll everyone all the time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just one.

[Monet X Change]

You troll. You troll me all the time on this podcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just one.

[Monet X Change]

You troll Ginger Minch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How do I troll Ginger Minch?

[Monet X Change]

You troll Ginger Minj.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

How? One example. Quickly.

[Monet X Change]

Quickly Recanting the story with Naomi.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not trolling. Telling a story for my life, saying

[Monet X Change]

that if RuPaul's Drag Race lost the Emmy, it was because of her outfit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not trolling. Do you. So that's. That's a fact.

[Monet X Change]

You think that Drag Race will lose the Emmy because of that outfit? You think that that is a fact.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's me telling a joke on a podcast.

[Monet X Change]

You are known to be hyperbolic. And trolling her. Trolling, that is trolling her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So what do you think trolling Is that. No, Monet specifically. Far from it.

[Monet X Change]

The words. Let me go into that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, what do you think my word was?

[Monet X Change]

I think your word was befuddled.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are so bad at this game.

[Monet X Change]

What was it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was gibbous.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't even hear you say that word.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You repeated it.

[Monet X Change]

Gibbous. What did I say?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said gibbous. And then you said gibbous.

[Jacob]

He said, have you ever mooned anyone? Just like A little gibbous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then I defined the word for you that way.

[Monet X Change]

That did happen. What was my word?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's wrong with your memory?

[Monet X Change]

What was my word?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's wrong? Answer quickly.

[Monet X Change]

What is my word?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Your word was. It was. It started with an H. It was. It was. It was a. It was. It was. It was a. It was. Start with an H. It was.

[Monet X Change]

It was. It was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It started with an H and it was about, like, something about. I can't. I remember the word. I remember the word when you said it because my ears went.

[Monet X Change]

Hubris.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no, it wasn't hubris. It was. It was. It was like a word about, like, something being, like, over the top and gregarious and larger than life.

[Monet X Change]

You're incorrect if you don't fucking listen. What was the word?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Febrile. You didn't even say febrile.

[Monet X Change]

Yes, I did. When I saw about Sparky Pelastri.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you click February?

[Jacob]

You know I didn't hear her say it.

[Monet X Change]

I did say it. I said, rewind it to April.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But you heard gibbous. I didn't hear either of those. Yeah, but you heard Monet was beat back gibbos.

[Monet X Change]

So don't try to get Kane on your side. Rewind the tapes. I absolutely said it. But you don't listen.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you actually don't listen when I talk, and it actually drives you crazy. You don't listen when your interlocutor is speaking to you. You should. Anyway, I called Bianca and she goes, like, are you recording this? I said, no, I'm serious. I don't believe you. I need to see it in print. So I had to screen grab a part of my will and send it to Bianca. And then she text me back and goes, well, at least send me $50,000 to clean your.

[Monet X Change]

Wait, so how much of your drag are you giving? So your. So your family, friends and family are going to. Are going to get pieces of your drag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but you guys. You guys can't just ransack it. You can, like, take a piece, but my crown acceptor is not going to anyone. It's going to the museum.

[Monet X Change]

So how.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It will be property of my estate.

[Monet X Change]

How do you. How do you, like, decide, like, how much people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll be dead.

[Monet X Change]

I'm saying. But so you say people, they can't ransack it. Like, one piece a piece, one each.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Each one of outfits. You can get head to toe, one

[Monet X Change]

outfit each friend and family gets one foot. Who wants it can get a full outfit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, if you want. If you don't want it, then don't worry about it.

[Monet X Change]

And that's wigs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, the wigs don't keep that well. So y' all can take all the wigs.

[Monet X Change]

The Madonna will probably last if you take care of it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's not the Madonna wig.

[Monet X Change]

I know. It's the one they were made for you afterwards. I'm saying it hasn't been used, so it would probably. It'll probably maintain its thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably. Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Can you look up? Have you ever been.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I need you to find trolling is. We can't. We're not moving on. What do you think? What do you think trolling is? I know what I think trolling is.

[Monet X Change]

Trolling is when you are poking fun at someone with Jess with humor,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

not

[Monet X Change]

with the intention to harm.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you troll.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I troll. I do troll.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think trolling is trying to make a joke without the person that you're joking about knowing that you're joking. Like, for example, if you. This would be. This is an example of trolling. When you're online doing a live and then I'm in the comments, like, oh, for example, when Patti LaBelle and Chaka Khan. No, Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight did their.

[Monet X Change]

They're trolling each other.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, when Patti LaBelle and Glass Knight did their verses, I was in the comments saying, doo wop, Doo wop. That's trolling.

[Monet X Change]

But also the lead up to. I think they were trolling each other as well with those jokes about Gladys. What are you bringing? Like, that's trolling each other.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I. I do troll, but I don't. I have never in my life secretly recorded someone.

[Monet X Change]

I didn't say you did. I'm just saying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, what I'm shocked by is, like, why would someone think that I was secretly recording? Like, I am very. I joke a lot, but I'm not sneaky. I don't do sneaky things. I do very. Like forward.

[Monet X Change]

You do sneaky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like what?

[Monet X Change]

Bob, I did a podcast with you and you. And you did a Visa Monet. We're going to list our top 10 drag race girls. Plug your ears into your. That is sneaky. Like, what the fuck are you on? You are sneaky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was so funny.

[Monet X Change]

And you're sneaky, and I did not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I asked you to name girls you think should quit drag.

[Monet X Change]

That is sneaky.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I asked you to name girls you think should quit drag and you named.

[Monet X Change]

That is sneaky. My ring. My ring.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That.

[Monet X Change]

I laughed at your face.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you're telling me. I did not say out loud, girls, we think should quit drag. And then you.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not doing this with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did say that out loud. It's in the video.

[Monet X Change]

I'm not doing this with you. So you do sneaky things. You literally took. You and your sneaky little boyfriend took my ring and added it onto your hand to make the world believe that it's a family heirloom of yours that

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I stole my great loving observation.

[Monet X Change]

You are sneaky. This is your perception of people. You are lying.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And also, other day at your house, you admitted that Andy cheats. And then one of the podcasts, you wouldn't admit it.

[Monet X Change]

No, I just said it. I literally said it at the house to. Because we were all ganging up on him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy cheats. You said it before that. Before we ganged up on Andy. You were like, andy, don't be cheating. Because we at the top of Secret Hitler. You said, andy, don't be cheating. Because we know you be cheating.

[Monet X Change]

Right? I said also, when I start Sika, before we ever. Exactly. When I start Sikhila, the game starts before the game starts, baby. Because there are people like Kane and people like Nick never played with Andy. So I'm trying to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you take advantage of people. Of people?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'm trying to set seeds of doubt. It's a fucking game. I'm trying to set seeds of doubt before it starts.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So you don't think Andy Cheese. No.

[Monet X Change]

Well, because what you said that he was cheating on in that version of Anomia. I don't think it was cheating.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is cheating.

[Monet X Change]

What did he do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was googling answers to the word under the table so that no one could see it.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. Cheating would be breaking her. That is not a rule of the game. There's a rule of the game. He says you can't look at people,

[Bob the Drag Queen]

and he also looks at people's cars during his Secret Hitler.

[Monet X Change]

And that's not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is true.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think that's true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Andy looked at people's cars and see her Hitler.

[Monet X Change]

Where is the ocular proof of that?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you didn't see it.

[Monet X Change]

Someone told you, but you didn't see it. This is hearsay. And also, thank you, Jacob. The version of the game we were playing was a weird game, y'.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All. Y'. All.

[Monet X Change]

It was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No one else was doing that.

[Monet X Change]

That didn't mean. It was a weird British version that none of us have ever played before.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you get a word you don't know, you bite the bullet and you. So we all just googling on Top of the table now.

[Monet X Change]

No, no, no. It's not a rule.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So next time we put it in, we're all just googling on the table. Okay. He's probably asleep. Who's this fucking Nick? Nick was at the house being so crazy and he was being crazy. He was like, I'm just gonna go to sleep, but I wanna come to the studio. But I wanna go to a spa. But I'm just take a nap. I say, girl, this is crazy. You can't do all those things. Pick one.

[Monet X Change]

You know you can. Your call has I don't think full disclosure, y'.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All.

[Monet X Change]

We are recording this on January 2nd. I really. When I tell y' all to get into work. My break cannot get into work mode until Monday and I have to get into work cuz we have work this weekend and I have other this weekend.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're not a five girl now.

[Monet X Change]

Huh?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're not a five girl now? No. You mean you can't work weekends or you mean specifically because of the holiday?

[Monet X Change]

No, because of the holiday, because like. Because of where. The way. The way New Year's felt. It feels so weird. New Year. You can say New Year's the new year. Yeah. Because of the way the New year fell. That even feels weird to say. I just. My brain cannot clock in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I just like the way New Year's falled.

[Monet X Change]

The way the way New Year's. The way New Year's falls.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The way the New year. Because of the date. Because of the way the New Year fell.

[Monet X Change]

Because of the way the New Year fell.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Ow. What happened?

[Monet X Change]

Remember when I sliced my finger open? I lacerated myself to get a pizza cutter for Alec.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Alex. Don't try to make that about.

[Monet X Change]

Alex, it's Alex's fault.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't try to make that about. Also, we didn't need to cut the pizza. Those pizzas were in enough pieces. It was. So we ordered some pizza from this place that Monet loves. Well, I'm not gonna say the name because I'm not no free advertiser, but Monet loves the pizza and I like it too. It's actually a really good pizza. And then Monet was like dead set on like, no, we need to cut it into smaller pieces. Well, because meanwhile I took two entire pies home. Two entire pies.

[Monet X Change]

I think people will avert. People didn't want to take cause getting because y' all these, they're pretty big slices. So if you cut them in halves of each one, I think people would be like, oh, I can have this bite sized piece of them. Like, if I get this big piece, I'm committing to this huge chunk of pizza. You know what I mean? Because when we did, well, the other place. The other pizza place at your house, I thought those slices were perfect.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're so good. Honestly, I wish they would sponsor the podcast so I could say who they are.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, and they do deliver to me because I checked last night.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's gonna be cold. No, I gotta say, right now, when you're on UberEats, if it is more than 35 minutes away, do not order it.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, no. Andy and I do it all the time. We get stuff from the other side of the hill.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's cold.

[Monet X Change]

No, but it really doesn't what you

[Bob the Drag Queen]

go do when you see the person on a bike.

[Monet X Change]

There's never been a bike. Imagine a bike coming from a holiday.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never had a bike?

[Monet X Change]

Not coming over here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've had times in New York City where. Cause they. A lot of them use bikes.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, yeah, New York City.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My whole shit is wet. My whole shit is right. Rainy, wet, soggy.

[Monet X Change]

Well, there's this whole thing about people saying, don't use doordash.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Why? Because apparently.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it's like a whole thing online. Doordash, like, okay, they're not sponsored. Like, doordashes are, like, going in people's food. There's a bunch of stuff going on with doordash.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What is that? Aren't the doordashes and Uber Eats people often the same person?

[Monet X Change]

I don't know. That's what. That's what people are saying. Like, people don't use don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But who?

[Monet X Change]

You know, this is probably some propaganda by fucking Uber Eats. Who knows?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not gonna make that bold accusation. I'm not comfortable making that bold accusation. Now, we do not have a smooth segue, but I saw today's topic, and I'm actually interested in talking about it.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know what it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Monet, are you one of those people who's ever had any sort of an obsession with serial killers?

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm not into trouble.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never had any moment in your life where you were like, I am interested in what's going on with this person?

[Monet X Change]

No, I'm not. I don't like true crime. I don't like that. I don't like stuff like that. Which I realize I'm in the minority because true crime is the biggest podcast genre ever.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People love true crime.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, it's the big type type of podcasting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What do you not like about it?

[Monet X Change]

I'm just not interested in hearing the gory details of how someone is, like, killing multiple people. I'm just. It just doesn't interest me. I mean, I guess you can say a time I have is when I watched Dahmer. I just watched it because it was a good series. I wasn't like, I gotta find out about Jeffrey Dahmer. I just like, oh, it's a popular show on Netflix. I've been watching.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

When I was younger, in my 20s, I was particularly interested in what was going on with John Wayne Gacy, who was younger.

[Monet X Change]

What did he do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The clown who killed, I think over 40 people. And several of the bodies were hitting under his house and, And. And. And a lot of children. Like, he was like. And he was a clown, a working clown, people. He was a. I mean, he was a volunteer slash, working clown. And I think he was like sort of a handyman or something.

[Monet X Change]

And how long did the serial killing go on for?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't do. Listen, I mean, I'm assuming he did it for like, over a decade.

[Monet X Change]

A decade.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was pretty prolific when people do

[Monet X Change]

it for that long.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm like, I'm assuming. I'm assuming he didn't get 40 people in. In a weekend.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, but I mean, I don't fucking know. Let's take a break and you'll tell me more about it. Shall we do this?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't want to do it. Well, this is your thing. I don't want to do it.

[Monet X Change]

This is your thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do it.

[Monet X Change]

This is your thing, Monet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're making me the bad guy.

[Monet X Change]

The bad guy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do it. We have to split our. I do. I do. I do 70 of the ads on this podcast.

[Monet X Change]

That is not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That is true.

[Monet X Change]

That is not true.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We're gonna crush the numbers.

[Monet X Change]

Let's crush it, Jacob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But Jacob will walk to my room and be like, read an ad girl. When you won't answer, same. Do the. Do the thing.

[Monet X Change]

If you don't like ads, you don't have to get ads. You go to Civil Rivalry Patreon and you can listen to this ad free from your girl, your sister, your homegirl, your cousin. When they exchange to you, go to patreon.com civilriverypoddocket Nope.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And type in Civilrian podcast.

[Monet X Change]

Type the Civil Memory podcast and you'll

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

never have to hear this ad again.

[Monet X Change]

Here comes some ads.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. You guys, I have to be real with you. I literally used to avoid. Avoid looking at my bank account because organizing my finances felt so overwhelming between the podcast touring and just living life in la. Money was going out in a hundred different directions and I honestly had no clue where to even begin. I finally downloaded the Rocket Money app and it was such a wake up call. I found out I was paying for random subscriptions I hadn't used in months. One of those, like, free trials that I, you know, definitely forgot to cancel. Rocket Money makes it so easy because it tracks your subscriptions and can actually cancel the unwanted ones for you within an app. And just a few taps, they've actually saved users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions. What I use it for every day now is the dashboard. It consolidates my checking, saving and loans in one place so I can have a clear view of my entire financial picture. It also categorizes my transactions automatically, which revealed some interesting spending patterns regarding how much I was spending on takeout. Baby, I love to order takeout. I had to dial it back. Since I started using it, I set actual financial goals and it's been a total game changer. On average, users who create a financial goal with rocket money save $70 within the first 30 days. The app is free to download and it really takes the stress out of managing your own money. I'm serious, y'.

[Monet X Change]

All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you feel like your finances are a mess, this is the tool you need. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spendings, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Rivalry that's RocketMoney.com Rivalry RocketMoney.com Rivalry

[Monet X Change]

Support for this podcast is brought to

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference? You're not alone, girl. And that's exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you want and make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to Waldenu.edu and take the first step. Walden University Set a Course for Change Certified to operate by Chef this message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University Set a Course for Change. Want to make real change in your life, career and community? At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W with online programs designed for working professionals. You'll gain hands on skills to Take on real world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve any. Take the first step. Visit waldenu. Edu Walden University Set a Course for Change Certified to operate by Chef this

[Bob the Drag Queen]

episode is sponsored by Airbnb. I've been having so much fun partnering with them because between drag gigs, filming and touring, I'm always on the move. And hotel life can be pretty draining. I'm serious, y'. All. Booking stays with Airbnb has changed the game. When I go on tour, I need a home base that actually feels like a home. I love having extra space to spread out, and it's those extra, like, everyday comforts, you know what I mean? Like sitting at a real kitchen table or having a cozy living room to decompress in that makes it all the different, you know what I mean? Plus, chatting with hosts gives you that local perspective you just can't get anywhere else. It makes me feel connected to the neighborhood instead of just passing through it. I booked this gorgeous mountain chalet in Jackson Hole on Airbnb with a full view of the Grand Tentons. While I had a show out there, right, I could fully rehearse in the living room without anyone banging on the walls, barging in, knocking on the door, trying to bring me extra towels and stuff. There's a giant mud room for all my drag at night. And honestly, I sit in the outdoor hot tub under the sars. It felt like a really glamorous retreat.

[Monet X Change]

Traveling this way just feels more authentic and human. So glam up your trip by using Airbnb to find an amazing place to stay. John Wayne Gacy is a well known sir. John Wayne Gase. John O. Wayne. John Wayne Gacy's known killing spree span

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

approximately six to seven.

[Monet X Change]

How do you know six or seven?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because they probably don't. They. Because you don't really know. I mean, when they catch a serial kill, they don't actually know who. I mean, they. They assume. I mean, they killed. But they could have got away with some.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, beginning in 1972 and ending with his arrest in December 1978. So a lot of these, like, serial killers were in the 70s.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

33. Why?

[Monet X Change]

Why were there so many serial killers in the 70s?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That was. I have a theory. And Jacob, please look this up. I believe that somewhere in the 70s, they, they found the technology to do DNA testing. Like somewhere in the 70s, DNA testing became a thing or in the air in the early 80s and they started just catching a lot of people. But before you can get away with it and There was no. They had advanced DNA testing in some way where it became a lot easier to. To catch people.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Night. Where's. I mean, specifically in terms of. Yeah. In the 1970s, police technology had not caught up to the mobility of the crime of the criminals. So at some point in, like the 80s, I want to say they figured out this, like, thing where they're like, oh, we know how to. We know how to track DNA from a lot. So that's why I believe that might be why I would go back up.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob has said also hitchhiking. That's true. See, Hitchhike. Hitchhiking. It was. It was a standard, socially acceptable way to travel predators like Ted Bundy and Edmund Kemper. Never heard of him. To direct advantage of this free love trust. So people will just, like, see the hitchhikers used to kill people. Well, the people accepting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or you would hitchhike and kill. But you could probably do both. You get a hitchhike and kill. Or you could pick up hitchhikers and kill.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, I. Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have never seen a hitchhiker. I have never seen a hitchhiker in my life.

[Monet X Change]

I don't think I have either, actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I don't think people hitchhike anymore. Well, let's say I've given a ride to a stranger before.

[Monet X Change]

Where, like, who was a stranger?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This little old lady.

[Monet X Change]

And how did you. Like, okay, like, give it. Give us a scenario.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've already told the story. But she was a little old lady who was walking toward the fires during the. During the LA fires. She's walking against the crowd. And I was like, excuse me, where are you going? And she's like, I'm looking for my son. And I was like, you should get in the car with us. And then we drove her to her son.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, that seems acceptable.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But she could have been a killer.

[Monet X Change]

She could have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or taken us to her son who was a killer.

[Monet X Change]

She could have been on Gladys.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She could have been. But honestly, that would be a great time to do it. She's like, I got the itch to kill. There's so much chaos in LA right now. I'm gonna see if anyone will pick up a little old lady. But she was a very. I could have fucked her up.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. I mean, you think?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If need be.

[Monet X Change]

Until she pull out her little stick and crack it. Then what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Stick and crap.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, put it. Put. Put it in a bucket of water.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I mean. Jacob, were you nervous about picking up the little old lady?

[Jacob]

I was on nervous of picking up the old lady. But I was also like, we gotta get going.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Jacob]

I think it took her. It took us about 10 minutes to convince her to get into the car with us.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Jacob]

She's like, I want to walk to my apartment building. My son's gonna pick me up there. It's like bumper to bumper traffic. Everyone's trying to get away from the fire. And Bob was like, get in the car.

[Monet X Change]

So did y' all all so, like, y driving. And she's, like, walking as well.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jacob, Camion, and Mikey. So all the seats are full. So now Jacob, Camion, and Mikey are all crowded in the back seat. And the little old lady is sitting next to me in the passenger seat.

[Monet X Change]

I was saying. So y' all are slowly bumper to bumper. And she's, like, walking.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So it's. So we are driving toward the home. And then we have to.

[Jacob]

You can see the fire from our house.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, you can from. You can see the fire from our. From where we were, actually. You can see the.

[Monet X Change]

The.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The. The. The. The. The light. The. The light from the fire. And then we also had to take all our stuff out of the car and leave it on the street because we didn't. My car wasn't ready to receive that many people. So Jacob was, like, clearing stuff out of the car. What were you throwing out? It was like.

[Jacob]

We.

[Monet X Change]

We.

[Jacob]

We just bought, like, supplies for hours. It was like toilet paper, like dishwasher soap. Like, nothing. Nothing crazy.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So all of the, like, cleaning supplies were. We just. We had to just leave them on the street. And then Camion is walking as slow as anyone's ever walked from a fire. Shout out to my nephew, like, lord have mercy. I was like, boy, our house just burned down. Haste. A year to the day. Our house had burned down, and he was in the house. I was like, girl, you should be able to do this better than anybody. And then also, Mikey is stuck on the other side of a police blockade. So they're telling Mikey he can't come to us, but also we can't go to him. So we're trying to figure out how to get. It was a lot going on.

[Monet X Change]

And Mikey has Malcolm.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Mikey has Malcolm. Yes. So Mikey has a dog. We're not adding to the cue. So Mikey and the dog are trying to get to us. Camion's trying to get to us. We're trying to get to Camyon. We're trying to get Mikey to meet us at our home. And then this little lady is just walking into the fire. And she was adamant. She was like, I'm going to my apartment. My son. And I was like, well, what's your son's name? What's your son number? She goes, I don't.

[Monet X Change]

Was she like out of her mind?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was just old enough to not be confused. Super with it. It. I mean, she's walking into a fire.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And she was moving and she was struggling to get. There was this in. In our neighborhood, there's this one like really big drop off on between the sidewalk and the street. Like it, like you, like you have to really lift your body. And she could not get up on this sidewalk. And I was like, lady, get in the car, get in the car and call your son. And she couldn't call her son. I was like, give me your son's phone number. And I called her son. I was like, where? I was like, it's 9pm do you know where your mother. And then we ended up driving to. Driving her to take her to her son. But she was that lady act like she didn't give a fuck. She was like, bitch.

[Monet X Change]

She probably like the sunset of her life. She's like, bitch, I've seen a lot. I've done enough. I'm ready to just go with the

[Bob the Drag Queen]

fire in a literal blaze of glory. And can I say, I didn't do it for any reason besides to help someone not die in a fire. Her son was like, thanks, Am I crazy for that? I mean, I said, wait, mom, come on, get out of this black ass man car.

[Monet X Change]

What? You know, we had a. There was a North Hollywood serial killer not too long ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I know. Were you nervous?

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I was. Because his MO was he would just allege. Apparently he would go up to houses and just see if the door would open. And if the door would open, he let himself in and kill people.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I just say real quick too.

[Monet X Change]

And Andy lived for a long time and not locking his doors, isn't that crazy? When Andy lived in weho, he never locked his door.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Considering where Andy's from, I do think it's weird like if my mother used to not lock her door growing up. But she's from a small town. My father, he's off. He's from Phoenix City, Alabama. My mom is from Corinth, Mississippi. But if, But Andy's from Boston.

[Monet X Change]

He's from the suburbs though. He's from Lexington.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not a small town. People in the suburbs. I'm from the suburbs. We lock our doors.

[Monet X Change]

No, but Lexington is like, I mean, can you look up the population of Lexington, Massachusetts, Jacob. It's a.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a small, small town, but it's by Boston. Like, it's like.

[Monet X Change]

It's like two hours from Boston.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, Phoenix City is not a suburb. Phoenix City is a small town that's not nearby.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Three, four thousand people. It's like two hours from Boston. Boston.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But Phoenix City is a small. The biggest next town is Columbus, Georgia, which is technically the second biggest city in. In Georgia. Technically, Phoenix City population is the same amount.

[Monet X Change]

It is less. There's more people there than. Than Andy's town.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It just. It's just weird to me that people that he's from. In Phoenix City, by the way, we lock our doors.

[Monet X Change]

Like. Like if I heard someone in New York, in New York that didn't lock their doors, that would be crazy. Imagine you're not locking your door.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I. I mean, my door is

[Monet X Change]

street facing 84, Washington. Imagine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also in New York City, the doors lock behind you. Like a lot of the doors. Like if every New Yorker. You put your foot out before the door closes, you check your pockets, and then you let the door close. Because every apartment I had in New York City, the door will lock right behind you.

[Monet X Change]

I don't remember.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't have to. You don't have to lock it. The door locks itself.

[Monet X Change]

You might have a latch. You can put it on and off if it would do it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did your door lock behind Taylor in New York City?

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. The door just. It's like. It's like he said. Yes. It's like a hotel. The door just locks behind you. I don't remember if mine did, but. But yeah. So how are you going to defend yourself in your home?

[Monet X Change]

Well, you know, I want to get my gun now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Someone broke in last night.

[Monet X Change]

I have a hammer. Where?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In the tool shed?

[Monet X Change]

No, I have one by my bed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You have a hammer by your bed? Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Just in case. If the killer comes, I want to have something.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it decorative?

[Monet X Change]

It's decorative.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is it on the nightstand? Where's the hammer?

[Monet X Change]

I ain't never seen this hammer. It's on the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've listened to your bedroom, like, two times.

[Monet X Change]

I just realized that I've never been to your bedroom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Really?

[Monet X Change]

Well, the one that you and Jacob used to share. I've never. I've never been to that room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never set foot in there?

[Monet X Change]

No, I want to see. I've seen it on Zoom or Roommates.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So why don't you just walk in? I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I think it's a little weird to walk in someone's bedroom, I think. Not me. I think it's weird to walk in someone's bedroom unless you're invited.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not me.

[Monet X Change]

Anyone.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, not me. Yes, anyone.

[Monet X Change]

Not me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, you and me. You can walk in any room in my house.

[Monet X Change]

You don't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't walk in any room in your house. No, you can't, and I do. I've been to every room in your house.

[Monet X Change]

You have? With.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Without permission.

[Monet X Change]

But you were invited to the bedroom every time you came in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you're invited next time you come over. You were there the other day. You didn't want. She just walked in. I know.

[Monet X Change]

I've never been invited.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you never even want to be like, what's up in there? Okay. I have a giant picture of you that I made myself individual.

[Jacob]

It's a nude.

[Monet X Change]

Okay. They're doing their thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wait, where is this hammer?

[Monet X Change]

It's so on my side of the bed. Like on. I don't know what you call it. It's not the base.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's like a little lip. Yeah, the little lip you got like a stepping stool on your bed.

[Monet X Change]

No, stepping stool is a lip. My bed is pretty close to close to the ground.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, but what you need to see,

[Monet X Change]

it's on the lip behind, like, where the pillow is. So you can't see it. Cause it'll be bothered me. What do you think?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My bed's on the floor. I mean, I wanted to laugh for

[Monet X Change]

a while, but the older I get. No, that is a young person game. A young person's game.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Last time I hooked up on a bed on the floor, I woke up and there was a person standing over me.

[Monet X Change]

I remember that. Wait, are you saying like, mattress on the floor or like a frame on the floor?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So there's no. There's no box spring beneath it.

[Monet X Change]

It's very bohemian.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's very like, me and Ta's bed is pretty close to the floor.

[Monet X Change]

It's like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's close with these. With these. Like Megan.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like Megan to.

[Monet X Change]

Must be putting it on you, baby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you get it up out there,

[Monet X Change]

he With a what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

A what? A pepper. Your step probably on the bed. Like, woohoo. A bed on the floor. It's not on the floor. It's close to the floor.

[Monet X Change]

Like how close?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would say the bed is at the top of the mattress is at my shins.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, my. That is very low, girl. Like, that's here. That is low to the ground.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Top of the mattress is below my knees for sure.

[Monet X Change]

That's wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Where's the top of your mattress?

[Monet X Change]

Probably like at my knees, baby.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jacob's mattress. At my nipples. Jacob is. The mattress is soft. Well, Jacob is the thickest. First of all, Jacob has 97 pillows. I mean Jacob. I will come in the room and Jacob will be playing like something on his computer. And he will have pillows behind him, pillows next to him, pillows under his feet, pillows under his knees. He has a full fortress. Well, if it's that, how. And then the headboard is pillowed. It's like a. It's like a pillowy, a texture.

[Monet X Change]

Quilted.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it's a quilted thing.

[Monet X Change]

Well, check. How the fuck do you get if it's that high?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jacob's not that short.

[Jacob]

I think he's exaggerating.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob's 5 4.

[Jacob]

It's not 5' 6. It's not that high.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm a bit hyperbolic.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, so sue us. The next time you ask a question, we say this, Bob, high. I don't exaggerate.

[Jacob]

Ginger was right about you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I never said I don't exaggerate.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, so I have. Okay, so on my bed I have six bows. We have two king ones on each side. Then we have a standard pillow in front of that and two decorative pillows in front of that. Anything's got so many pillows.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that's standard. Like it's less than Jacob. By the way, all Jacob's pillows are all functional. None of them are for decorated.

[Monet X Change]

They are all.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They all have a use. On my bed I have. I have two pillows.

[Monet X Change]

Bob, that's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I have a. And I have like a. Like an infirm pillow.

[Monet X Change]

An infirm. What do you mean an infer?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like a sick pillow?

[Monet X Change]

Infirm means.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, it's like, it's like for people who are recovering. What do you call. It's a three part pillow. It's got a wedge and then it's got like a.

[Jacob]

When he got his hair plant surgery, he needs to sleep. You have to sleep sitting up for a certain amount of time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I just like it. I just kept. It doesn't match anything in my room. My bedroom is so unnice. There is nothing in there. That. Nothing in there makes sense. Cause it was my drag lab. I just spent so much time fixing up the studio that I just like, I can't. Jacob actually had to help me for a little bit, but we both gave up. There's just. I have a. When I tell you my bedroom looks. Looks like a college dorm, I have the cheapest bed frame. You have ever seen. Ever seen in your life. The thinnest mattress anyone has ever laid on. There's no headboard. I just have two pillows. My infern pillow. And there's no pictures on the wall. No, there's a picture. Jacob moved a picture into the room.

[Monet X Change]

Why did you take out the one that was in there and brought it here?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because I wanted it for the office. But then I took it down in here because I want to put my chronic scepter up. We don't have a lot of wall space here.

[Monet X Change]

Why'd you put it back in here? Any other space? The walls are empty.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I got to take it back. I brought it here. You know how long it took me to get all this up in here? I had to. I will I do this thing all. I almost did it today. I. I gave Kane around to the studio. I put all the trash in this thing. I came. Watch me collect it all. We were talking, and then I. I almost walked up the trash, Just left it on the counter. I have to put it, like, in front of the door. I will just. I would if there have been the amount of times I have walked, made it all the way to my car and be like, I don't have my keys.

[Monet X Change]

That's crazy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But then. But then I don't have my keys, so I can't get in the car, But I also can't get back into the building. So then I have to go back around. I have to walk all the way around the building, go hit in the punch code, go up the stairs, call Jacob to let me in. I do this minimum twice a week.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, so you are in the twice a week.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Am I lying?

[Monet X Change]

Did I lie? So you're in the garage. There's a serial killer chasing you there, right? Yeah. You don't have your keys. You don't have your phone. What are you doing? This is like. Think like, Mike Myers, serial killer, chasing you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, Mike Myers is like, superpowers.

[Monet X Change]

Mike Myers?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like. He's, like, impossible to kill anything, and he's, like, crazy strong. Mike Myers has, like, superpowers. He has, like, otherworldly powers. Does he? Yes. You obviously don't watch Halloween.

[Monet X Change]

I don't put so much pick on Jam.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Lee Curtis name.

[Monet X Change]

I know that he obviously comes back, but I think that's just like, okay, one of the scream guys is chasing it. They don't have superpowers.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's people with costumes, so someone with a knife.

[Monet X Change]

Someone with a knife. Ghost face.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So all I have is My bag.

[Monet X Change]

You don't have nothing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wouldn't go to my car without my.

[Monet X Change]

You left it all on the. Okay, you have your little bum bag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's not a bum bag.

[Monet X Change]

It's a bum bag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's a crossbody bag, which is a bum bag. In British slang, a bum bag is a fanny pack.

[Monet X Change]

No, it's not.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Google it.

[Monet X Change]

No, but what you Google at a

[Bob the Drag Queen]

bum bag is a motherfucking fanny pack, you faggot.

[Monet X Change]

Your Gucci one is that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it's not. It is a crossbody bag. It is a purse. I'm carrying a purse. No, I am the purse queen.

[Monet X Change]

Can we please show it on camera? Where is it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, carry it everywhere I go.

[Monet X Change]

That thing is a bum bag.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it is a cross body bag. It is a purse. Anyway, I have my purse.

[Monet X Change]

You have that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's in what's. Okay, okay.

[Monet X Change]

No, no. Okay. I'm always talking about that one, the other Gucci one, the black Gucci one you always carry around.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is the one I carry around everywhere.

[Monet X Change]

This is the girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've been carrying this purse for almost a year now. You don't pay any attention to me. You don't look at me, you don't pay me.

[Monet X Change]

Okay, well, that is a purse. But, you know, you're not talking about the other Gucci.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't talk to me.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I mean, he did. He did have a Gucci for a long time and the Balenciaga one before that, but that was. That was also over a year ago.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is called the Gucci Jumbo Gigi small cross body bag. No, I thought I was in grainy leather.

[Monet X Change]

I was talking about your other ones you had for. I didn't realize you changed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Don't pay any attention to me. This is becoming really insulting. Anyway, I have my purse and I think that.

[Monet X Change]

That one. That one you used to have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I used to have that one. Yeah. I missed that bag. I'm running up the ramp. So I have a two. It's two level garage.

[Monet X Change]

No, the things. The gates are closed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, there's no gate. The gates are blocking the outside. You can go between the ramp, the levels. Without. Without, there's no gate.

[Monet X Change]

Okay?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't pay attention to my garage, guys. You don't love me.

[Monet X Change]

You don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you even know my. My real name?

[Monet X Change]

Is my actual legal name Caldwell tdq.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Anyway, so I'm. So. Okay, which way are they coming from? This is all important.

[Monet X Change]

They're coming down the stairs into the. The lower level parking thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're coming downstair. So they're coming through a door. They're on my right. I'm running to my left. I'm now going. Actually, I'm going to run out the side door because you don't need to. So I'm running out the side door. Door. I think, actually, I'm gonna run out the side door and I'm going to put my foot against the wall and keep the door closed. And I don't have my phone, so I can't call the cops.

[Monet X Change]

You can't call the cops.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I'm gonna keep the door closed.

[Monet X Change]

And they're pushing this strong, but his hand has got through, so he's like swiping.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, so now there's a. Now there's stairs. I'm running up the stairs, and then there's a gate.

[Monet X Change]

And he's fast because he's an olympic. He's actually usain bolt. Usain bolt is actually the scream killer. So he's very fast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fast. Okay, this is getting.

[Monet X Change]

You're.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're adding.

[Monet X Change]

I'm telling you what we got.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now he can fly. No. What. What's going to happen next time I, I, I defeat a task?

[Monet X Change]

He's fast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, so his hand is through the door. So. Okay, so if, if he's that close. If he's that close, I would not try to hold the door. I would run out the side door. I'm running up the stairs and I'm going to get on the other side of the gate. There's a gate now that separates the side stairs from the street. I am now trying to close him into the gate. And I'm. I'm. I'm. Now, because I live in a. I live in Hollywood. It's pretty popular there. I am screaming, screaming, screaming for help. At this point, their Usain bolt is trying to kill me.

[Monet X Change]

The world knows you're saying bolt.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, this guy seems usain bolt fast.

[Monet X Change]

But now you see an old woman walking, walking at him. So now he set his eyes on her.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She. She's walking toward him.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Okay, so she's walking because she's looking for her son.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I say, hey, old lady. Old lady.

[Monet X Change]

He's like, I think that I. Hi, my son's here.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, well, she's in it. No, she's part of the crime. I don't trust her no more. I do not trust this woman. I trip her, stick my leg out. She falls down. I start running. If usay and bolt start stab. If this killer starts stabbing her, then I, you Sacrifice.

[Monet X Change]

Blood sacrifice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My bad. That's on me.

[Monet X Change]

So now. So now you're an accomplice. Now, you keeping this in mind when this is you going to jail?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Does he stab her or does he not stab her?

[Monet X Change]

He stabs her three times.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Does she live?

[Monet X Change]

She lives.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, well, she's fine. So I am now running, but he's gonna. I mean, he's gonna catch me. Is anyone. Is anyone responding to my calls?

[Monet X Change]

You don't have.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's a lot of dogs in my

[Monet X Change]

area too, so dogs are barking. Dogs are barking. Someone's looking for the terrorist, but they think it's Halloween, so they think y' all are just doing, like, a thing. They're like these kids these days.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he's. How close is he?

[Monet X Change]

He's about 20ft.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, I'm gonna get back in the building.

[Monet X Change]

Oh, back in the building?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I'm gonna go back into the building, and I'm going to close the door behind me because there's. To get from my front. The front door of my building to me, you have to go through one to two doors, an elevator and a third door.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I can. There's enough time for me to create distance.

[Monet X Change]

Got it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But. But no, I'm not gonna say. I'm running to the stairs. Stairs. So there's four doors. Four doors, yeah. I'm running to the stairs, and I'm going to go inside my apartment. I'm going to close the door.

[Monet X Change]

I'm going to lock it and then call police.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. I feel like the reason why I. I was thinking this the other day. The idea of living in a big house kind of scares me because there are just so many ways to get to the house.

[Monet X Change]

I agree.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, to get into my house, to get into my. My apartment. The only easy way is through the front door. If you want to scale the balcony. There's people. There's no one above me. There's people below me. They're easy to get to get through him. If you're going to skip that balcony below me to get to me, you deserve it.

[Monet X Change]

But people who have big houses like that, I. They like. They normally have enough security to feel like I'm. I'm, I'm sure, like. Like Kardashians and the Kate Hudson and all these weird celebrities. They have enough security or they have probably have like a security guard on guard.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I feel like I can get in your house.

[Monet X Change]

My house. You can't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Without you knowing.

[Monet X Change]

No one has ever got into. On my auto property, we have cameras everywhere. You Can.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You wouldn't even know I was in there.

[Monet X Change]

You've said this before, and it's never. It still haven't done. So now what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe it's in process.

[Monet X Change]

It's never gonna happen. You ever consider that we have cameras everywhere and we just already added a barbed wire on that one corner. So you think you're gonna climb over that gate, but you're gonna go right through your hand. Cause it doesn't look like barbed wire. It looks like it's regular. And you put it. You don't. People don't realize how sharp it is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I would easily get into your home. Okay. And then I will be sitting on your couch.

[Monet X Change]

I like to see it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then you will come downstairs.

[Monet X Change]

I'd like to see it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you'll gag. Maybe not on the couch, but I know that I can get. I know for a fact. So. Okay, when I do this, can I just shoot? Am I allowed to hit you with Super Soaker? Yeah, I can bl. In your home?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Listen, only if you record it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if I can get into your home without your knowing, I have your full permission to blast you?

[Monet X Change]

If you can get it for social

[Bob the Drag Queen]

media with a Super Soaker?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, this is going to be amazing. I can't wait.

[Monet X Change]

Well, here's the thing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I won't use.

[Monet X Change]

Here's the thing I want to say.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It can't be Andy or Patrick won't know either. And Patrick won't know either.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe Patrick might know. No. No Patrick.

[Monet X Change]

Because a serial killer or robber wouldn't. Wouldn't call my friends to get the. Or my partner. I think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No Patrick.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Unless they're an accomplice.

[Monet X Change]

You think.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who would turn on you first? Andy or Patrick?

[Monet X Change]

Who Turn. Who turn you in?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Turn on you first? Who. Who would. Who would. Who would be an accomplice in your murder? Andy or Patrick first?

[Monet X Change]

Who would be. Who would be accomplice? You helping you or helping me?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, this is your murder.

[Monet X Change]

Now. Who would help? And he's very. He's like, I'll hide the body. I was like, we gotta test that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know how.

[Monet X Change]

I don't know how.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He wouldn't hide no fucking body. Right? I'm like. I don't know.

[Monet X Change]

If anyone had. Do you think Jacob would hide a body?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus Christ. Jacob would turn me in immediately.

[Monet X Change]

Jacob would.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jacob would not do anything like that. No.

[Monet X Change]

Would Tao hide a body? Probably.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think that.

[Monet X Change]

I think that. I think that Patty would hide a body. I think that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Let's hit someone with your car. Car. In the middle of the night. You know that dark street on Hollywood? Let's. Let's. Let's hit someone with your car. We'll hire an actor. We'll hit them, and then we'll see if Andy wants to hide the body.

[Monet X Change]

I mean, I'll be. Should we do that? That's great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And see if, like you said. You said you don't have the body. Let's see if you have the body.

[Monet X Change]

This is going to be a real drag race. Drag race acting challenge. Because you. Because we have to be there together.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I'm there. Andy's going to let. He's going to defer to me.

[Monet X Change]

No, because maybe you act like Monet. We have to tell someone how far

[Bob the Drag Queen]

post surgery can we do it where he will. Where he can't be like, I can't pick anything up.

[Monet X Change]

I think he can't pick up more than £20 for the next, like, month or two, which you'll be gone anyway.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay. So when we get back. He doesn't listen to the podcast, does he?

[Monet X Change]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, good.

[Monet X Change]

So Selena. Or one of them might tell him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Selena would not. Selena's. She's with the shits.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, she's with the shits now. She is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You and Naomi have to stop bullying Selena. You have to. I like her. She's my favorite.

[Monet X Change]

I love Selena.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Guys, go to see her. If you get a chance to go see Selena's eloteria show.

[Monet X Change]

So good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or her drag race viewing for her

[Jacob]

show at hair party at Kiso. Print party.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, her print party.

[Monet X Change]

Have you seen the mold she makes for the print party?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I buy one.

[Monet X Change]

She's supposed to. I told her I want to buy one. Why did you get it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want it.

[Monet X Change]

You want it when you went down there? Well, t. Want it. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think graphic for me.

[Monet X Change]

When she made them, I should.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I said, I haven't had them. I don't have the.

[Monet X Change]

I said, selena, you're sitting on a very big.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Selena.

[Monet X Change]

Selena. So Selena, you're sitting on. I think that the would. Would buy those up and hang them in their houses.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So we need to. How we're going to get. How we're going to trick him. So we go, you know the dark street. Yeah. We can. We do a thing where you're, like, being silly and you're like, this street is so dark, and you turn the lights off, and then we have to turn off at a certain spot, and then you have to, like. Cause there's a hill. So you slow down and go over the hill. We at that point have someone.

[Monet X Change]

He's in the car with us.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, of course.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Someone. I've never been in the car with you and Andy at the same time. I have never been in the car with.

[Jacob]

You've never been in the sober movie?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Monet X Change]

You. You.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Both. You and Andy.

[Monet X Change]

I've been in the car with you. You drove us when we got in and out that time when my family was in town.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you have to be driving, though. Yeah. Yeah, I can't be driving.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, I'll be driving.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cause the other thing is, he ain't gonna high bye for me. Someone's gonna go over it. They're gonna. The hood. They're gonna slap the hood, girl.

[Monet X Change]

What if it really hit someone?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, it's a hired actor.

[Monet X Change]

I know, but. What. I'm scared, girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Someone's gonna. The hood of your car. You're gonna. You have to come to a screeching halt, tires be damned. You gotta give something to have this prank pulled off. And then that person will be laying there covered in blood or just a gash. A gash is good enough.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah. Good night.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And they're not moving. But then how do we convince them that the person's dead?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, this is getting. This is getting.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay, okay, the person's injured. Okay, the person's injured. Then they are like Monet X change. I'm going to sue you. I'm going to sue you. I'm going to sue you. You and Andy are freaking out. I go over, I play a gunshot noise.

[Monet X Change]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I say, monet, I've taken care of it. No, me and Andy are. You play the gunshot noise. Cause it has to be for you, right? You play the gunshot noise and then what gun?

[Monet X Change]

He's gonna be like, babe, you don't have a gun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You do in this story. You have a gun. You have to get a gun. By this point, the gunshot noise goes off. And then me and Andy run over and you have murdered the person.

[Jacob]

Person.

[Monet X Change]

He's not gonna fall for it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes, he will.

[Monet X Change]

I have a fake gun. But it's a yellow gun because you can't have a fake. Real looking fake gun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I thought it was just a New York law. I thought it was la. You got to be able to have it. All these fake ass guns they be

[Monet X Change]

using on these sets.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you know, you have to have like a permit to have those realistic looking fake guns.

[Monet X Change]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Do you know that one of the people on the Madonna tour almost got arrested for having a. A fake gun.

[Monet X Change]

Why? Oh, well, because. Because it's illegal. Was it in New York or was it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was in the uk. She's a British law lady. Oh, she's. So she was arrested on a different tour because she. Not on Madonna. She was actually arrested on a different tour because. So she was like. So if you watch the Madonna tour in the uk, my guns that I use during the cowboy scene are 3D printed with wooden dowels on the end. And the ones I use in America are. They look like guns. Like everything about this gun is a gun except for the fact that it's not a gun. I don't. I can't even explain it beyond that. They change one mechanism or something. Something. But the lady was like, we are not traveling with east to the uk. I'm telling you. I've been arrested before. I got. I got charges. And we cannot use those guns in the UK because I have been arrested in the past for prop guns.

[Monet X Change]

Why don't you even use. I would. I would be scared to even use a proper one. Alec Baldwin.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, mine didn't make noises. I even.

[Monet X Change]

I would be. You said they look everything. I would be scared to even have that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It had chambers for bullets and everything. That had a barrel, it had a click, it had a hammer.

[Monet X Change]

That would freak.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That would freak me, trigger me out. They were long guns too.

[Monet X Change]

That would freak me out.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But anyway, that's beside the point. The point is I believe that we can get Andy with this. We'll. We'll. We'll finesse the details.

[Monet X Change]

Finesse the details.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Selena, we'll know it's you, Selena. And you will be the body. And it won't be a prank.

[Monet X Change]

See y' all next time, y'. All.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Goodbye.

[Monet X Change]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Monet X Change]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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[Bob the Drag Queen]

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