The One Where We Catch Up

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One Where We Catch Up"

Date: July 15, 2024
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change

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Episode Overview

In "The One Where We Catch Up," Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change reconnect after travels and performances apart, mixing personal stories, playful banter, and comic tangents. The episode provides an inside look at their post-tour lives, misadventures with lost luggage, a passionate love affair with Brazil, their ongoing pet peeves about language, astrology, and even intimate talk about queer life logistics. Listeners are treated to hilarious asides and sharp-witted exchanges between the beloved RuPaul's Drag Race alums.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Condo vs. Apartment: The Semantics Showdown (00:29–04:01)

• Bob and Monét debate the difference between condos and apartments.
  • Bob insists the terms are basically interchangeable, especially when renting.
  • Monét pushes for the technical definition, citing Forbes and common real estate distinctions: "A condominium are housing units in a large property complex that are sold to buyers. But while apartments are generally rented, condos are owned." (02:17)
• Memorable Exchange:
  • Monét: "Words have meaning. That's how words work. Words mean something." (02:52)
  • Bob: "You can rent a condo and then it’s an apartment for you, but a condo for the owner!" (02:31)
• Leads to playful ribbing about why people care about these distinctions at all.

2. Monét’s Brazil Obsession & Tour Mishaps (04:07–16:17)

• Monét describes falling in love with Brazil on her first visit:
  • Monét: "This is my first time going to South America, and I am obsessed. I'm obsessed with Brazil, Bob. I love Brazil." (05:57)
  • Bob: "This is a very common experience for people who go to Brazil for the first time. You will be immediately enthralled and titillated by the physical attractiveness of the people who live there." (06:22)
• Lost luggage drama:
  • Monét recounts losing her bag on Iberia Airlines and the subsequent challenge of performing without her drag wardrobe.
  • They digress into the recent trend of AirTagging luggage; Bob is all-in, Monét is catching up.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “I have to do my drag in Air Force Ones and cargo jeans.” (00:55)
  • Monét: "I'm air tagging anything that is of value to me." (11:28)

3. Comedy Without Drag: Bob’s Reflections (17:24–18:57)

• Bob talks about performing stand-up out of drag:

  • Bob: "What felt nice was that I feel like I now know for sure that the comedy itself is doing the work and not the fact that I'm up there in a costume." (18:11)

• Discussion about generational identity:

  • The two bicker over whether Monét is "on the cusp" of Gen Z.
  • Bob fact-checks: “You are six years from being a Gen Z. You're not cusping, baby.” (20:35)

4. Linguistics, Accents, and Feelings (21:18–24:13)

• Bob playfully mocks Monét’s pronunciation of “year” as “yer.”
  • Monét tries to defend her Caribbean accent: "Okay, don't call it my little Caribbean thing because, honey, the Caribbean is big. Honey, we're a major." (21:18)
  • Bob: "There's nothing wrong with having an accent. I'm just pointing out that you have one." (23:21)
• Therapy Talk:
  • Monét explains how repeated teasing makes her feel: “I feel ridiculed. I feel maligned. I feel hurt.” (23:41)
  • Bob: “Your feelings are valid. I don't want to take those away from you.” (23:48)
• Whether all feelings are valid:
  • Monét: “I get that all feelings are valid, but sometimes... that feeling that you had... sometimes, your feeling is not valid. Not you specific, not you specifically.” (24:00)
  • Both hosts spiral into a comic scenario about being “abandoned” for ice cream, showing how miscommunication can spiral emotionally.

5. Bob's Family Updates & Drag Community Tangents (26:01–28:58)

• Bob’s nephew may move in; reflection on mentorship and boundaries.
• Chat about mutual friends, live shows, and missed nights out.

6. Astrology and Personality Debates (31:00–33:12)

• Discussion about zodiac signs, emotionality, and astrological stereotypes:
  • Bob: “You are a very emotional person.” (31:19)
  • Monét: “I have friends... not a very emotional person.” (31:24)
  • Bob: “Not with you. He doesn't trust you.” (31:29)

7. Live Show Promotions & The Cartographer Moment (35:05–36:39)

• Sibling Rivalry’s live show at Balboa Theater in San Diego announced (Aug 8th).
• Cartographer revelation:
  • Bob: "Who makes maps... is that a job?" (36:00)
  • Monét: "Cartographer." (36:09)
  • Bob: "A cartographer is a person who produces or draws maps." (36:24)

8. Drag Outfits & Wig Drama (37:07–39:04)

• Suggesting audience participation in choosing their show outfits.
• Bob and Monét debate who introduced whom to wig maker Marco, and the quality of their red-and-blonde wigs.
  • “The wig has always looked the same way the whole time. And now you're scared because Marco's coming for that ass.” (38:34)

9. Nightlife, Bar Laws, and Mukbangs (47:04–54:36)

• Party culture in Brazil vs. US, including late-night/early morning clubbing.
  • Monét: "Our show in Rio started at 11. It did not end until 2:30 in the morning." (46:45)
  • “When we left... it was 8:45 in the morning from the club and the party was still going on.” (47:18)
• Bar licensing laws in New York: They puzzle over why there’s a law against selling alcohol from 4am–8am and whether it’s really for “safety.”
• Mukbang proposal: The two contemplate doing a Popeyes wing tasting for Bob’s channel, with comic asides about gluttonous friends.

10. NSFW: Douching, Fiber, Fetishes, and Sex Confessionals (41:14–60:03)

• Honest and explicit discussion about:
  • Douching practices and why fiber supplements like Metamucil are helpful for queer men.
    • Bob: “You're not supposed to be putting that much water in there... If you're up in this part, you've gone too far. No one's going up there.” (42:28)
  • Mishaps where “releasing the Kraken” leads to panicked, unplanned consequences. (43:08)
  • Bob’s story: "I thought I was done, and I got on the train, I got to his house, and I was not done. I gagged... I need a moment, please." (43:38)
  • Bob’s confession about finally hooking up with a longtime crush:
    • "It was so fantastic. It was worth the wait. He's hotter now than he was when I used to have a crush on him back in New York City." (44:14)
  • Fetishes, including fart and “smegma” stories.
    • Monét: "He loved to watch guys sucking his dick with his, like, smegma." (59:46)
• Memorable, graphic, and typically raw Sibling Rivalry humor.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "All drag is valid. And you're very successful. You don't need my fucking advice, baby. You are performing for crowds and crowds in Brazil, honey girl. Thousands of people." — Bob (05:43)
• "I want to come to Brazil every day. I want to come to Brazil. I want to come for Brazil. I want Brazil to come on me. I want to come and Brazil every—" — Monét (06:06)
• "Six years from being Gen Z. You're not cusping, baby." — Bob (20:35)
• "Let's both wear cargo pants, a T shirt, a long red wig, and some air force ones. Honestly, the look’s low key iconic at this point." — Bob (37:33)
• "You are so annoying anytime I'm saying do something... I was like, hey, guys, I want to go out, but I had to get this work done. I had to write down this—this..." — Monét (29:04)
• "He created a seal with his lips around my asshole and blew air into my anus. And I said, oh, like a fucking balloon... This is causing me discomfort. And he was like, just fart in my face." — Bob (57:14–58:13)
• "He loved to watch guys sucking his dick with his, like, smegma... I am not a connoisseur of dick cheese." — Monét (59:46)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Condo vs. apartment debate: 00:29–04:01
• Brazil travel stories and lost luggage: 04:07–16:17
• Bob’s non-drag stand-up reflections: 17:24–18:57
• Generational debate (“millennial vs Gen Z”): 19:45–20:47
• Accent/“year” pronunciation fight: 21:18–24:13
• Family, friendship, and live show talk: 26:01–33:12
• Live show announcement & cartographer revelation: 35:05–36:39
• Wig drama & drag fashion: 37:07–39:04
• Brazilian nightlife vs. US, bar hours law: 47:04–49:37
• Explicit NSFW stories: 41:14–60:03
• Mukbang/mukbang eating conversation: 53:45–54:36

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Final Thoughts

If you've missed an episode, this one is vintage Sibling Rivalry: rapid-fire wit, raunchy honesty, cultural observations, and the electric chemistry between Bob and Monét. Whether it's the agony of lost luggage, the joy of discovering Brazil, or their unabashed take on queer-life-101, this episode covers all the bases and then some—often in hilariously graphic detail. It's a must for fans who love their comedy as real and raucous as it gets.

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Live Show Promo:

• San Diego, August 8th, Balboa Theater – Check their socials for tickets.
• Audience poll: Suggest their show wardrobe in the comments – they might actually wear it! (37:07)

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Listen for:

• A crash course in travel woes, drag show ingenuity, why fiber matters, and the joy and chaos of queer nightlife.
• The most passionate tribute to Brazil you'll hear all summer.
• Several "did they just say that?" moments you'll want to quote.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

my name is Bob the Drag Queen

[C]

and I'm Monet x Change.

[B]

And this is simply rivalry. On this week's episode, I find out what a cartographer is.

[C]

I have to do my drag in air force ones and car cargo jeans.

[B]

And we found out what made Monet say this.

[C]

Okay, this is so problematic. This is gonna be so problematic. This is gonna be so problematic. And we find out what made Bob say this.

[B]

You called out me. I didn't get onto your years until you started talking about my years. Okay, I didn't start this. Don't gaslight me. I did not start this.

[A]

You.

[B]

That's so funny

[C]

because as the big start Bob goes, ugh, I want to get my soda.

[B]

Well, the soda's upstairs. It's like. It's not like, right. If the soda was like, right there, it'd be one thing, but it's. I have to go all the way upstairs to get the soda. So it's just.

[C]

What privilege? Oh, oh, she's in a two story. Oh, I have to go all the way upstairs to get my soda. It's so hard having a being in a place with two stories.

[B]

Okay, first of all, you know that I don't live in a home with two stories. I live in a one story apartment.

[C]

I don't know where you live.

[B]

You live in a two story home. I live in a three bedroom apartment in Hollywood. And I think you know that you

[C]

live in a condo. It's not an apartment, it's a condo.

[B]

An apartment is a condo. A condo is what people say when they don't. When they want people to think. When people are like, ooh, look at me. It's an apartment. It's literally an apartment.

[C]

No. Well, there has to be a condominium means something.

[B]

Yes. When you want people to think that you're better than people who live in apartments.

[C]

I don't think that's true. A condominium are housing units in a large property complex that are sold to buyers.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But while apartments are generally rented, condos are owned.

[B]

But you can also rent condos. Like for example, me and Ezra lived in a condo that someone else was someone else's. We were renting someone's condo. So for us it was an apartment. For them it was a condo.

[C]

Right. So that's the decision.

[B]

But it is still an apartment, like you. It is an apartment, like. So you're telling me the whole thing. If I take the same building, the same home, and rent it to someone else, they're now living in an apartment? When I was living, there was a condo.

[C]

Yes, Bob, Words have meaning. That's how words work. Words mean something.

[B]

But it is. But it is still an apartment, though

[C]

I think what it is, an apartment can be a condo. A condo cannot be an apartment.

[B]

Look up the definition of an apartment.

[C]

I just did. I just read it to you.

[B]

No, you said, what's the difference? The definition's apartment is. An apartment is a large building containing residential suites and apartment building. And then an apartment is a well appointed. Oh, I don't know what that word is. That's for British people.

[C]

Well, this is Forbes. Forbes says unlike standalone structures, both condos and apartments are units within a complex. These types of homes usually come with similar. With similar amenities such as access to pool, blah, blah, blah. However, while a condo is owned by an individual, an apartment is often owned and rented out by the same landlord as all the other units in a complex.

[B]

Often. Not always often.

[C]

Oh, God, here she go. She love. She love her little we. Words.

[B]

Weren't you the one who just said words matter? Wasn't that just you? Words are important. Wasn't it literally just you speaking of words being important? Girl, I was on the Internet and I was like. I was hot.

[C]

Why?

[B]

I was like, I can't.

[A]

Why?

[B]

And then I read the caption. I was like, oh, okay.

[D]

What?

[B]

I was like, Monet and this look. I was like, monet's taking pedestrian to a new level.

[C]

Can I tell you what it happened?

[B]

I was like, monet's take. Monet's taking this pedestrian thing to the. To the ultimate. I was like, this is too far. I remember being like, this is too far. She's gone too far.

[C]

Can I tell you this is how I know that we are too. I noticed. Well, as soon as I. As soon as I lost my bag and I realized the gravity of my situation, I am not lying. One of the first thoughts, I was like, when Bob sees me pose this look, he's gonna be like, oh, my God, what is wrong with Mona? I am as my life depends on it. That was one of my first thoughts. When it entered my brain.

[B]

Well, I think what was upsetting me the most when I saw you wearing it out of drag and the same thing in drag. I was like, this is crazy. Monet just slept on a wig and some makeup. She kept on the Air Force ones every. I was like, this is going too far. Cause I've seen you do a lot. I've seen you do a lot. I've seen you do a lot of T shirts. I've seen you do a lot of jeans.

[C]

To be fair, you never seen me perform in a T shirt.

[B]

Do what?

[C]

You never seen me perform in a T shirt.

[B]

That's not true.

[C]

Why did I perform the T shirt?

[B]

Well, you did, I guess. Was that the meet and greet in the T shirt? Yeah, that was the meet and greet. Because we did the show in the matching outfits. But then for the meet and greet, you put on that T shirt.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, all drag is valid, right?

[C]

Okay. What do you say? Like that? It sounds very condescending and very shady.

[B]

Talking about.

[C]

Well, I mean, all drag. What it is is the. Well, I mean, all drag is valid, right? Shady.

[B]

All drag is valid. All drag is valid. And you're very. And you're very successful. You don't need my fucking advice, baby. You are performing for crowds and crowds and crowds in Brazil, honey girl. Thousands of people.

[C]

This is my first time going to South America, and I am obsessed. I'm obsessed with Brazil. Bob. I love Brazil.

[B]

Bob.

[C]

I want to move to Brazil. All to come to Brazil's bitch. I get it. I want to come to Brazil. I want to come to Brazil every day. I want to come to Brazil. I want to come for Brazil. I want Brazil to come on me. I want to come and Brazil every.

[B]

This is a very common experience for people who go to Brazil for the first time. You will be immediately enthralled and titillated by the physical attractiveness of the people who live there.

[C]

It's kind of insane how attractive the people of Brazil are. And because I'm very grateful. We are. Because of my gay status. Just lots of Brazilian people like me, and I like them. I. I love Brazil. I love Brazil. I just love. I love Brazil.

[B]

Move to Brazil. That'd be fun.

[C]

I walked down Copacabana beach and I walked exactly where you performed for 1.5 million people.

[B]

1.6.

[C]

1.6 million people.

[B]

I mean, it is the difference between 100,000 people. And you did try to take. You did try to take 100,000 people out of the audience just now. And I think that's worth acknowledging that you tried to take. You tried to take. You tried to extrapolate or tried to pull 100,000 people out of me and Madonna's accomplishment. Anyways, I can finally show you guys my tour badge. I wasn't allowed to show it to you before.

[C]

Wait, why? You mean like your lanyard?

[B]

Yeah. Cause if you show it, people can recreate it.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, cute. Wait, bring it back a little bit so we can see it. Yeah. Hold it right there, party people. The Celebration tour. Cute. What's the yellow thing?

[B]

It was. They. They would give us multiple ones. So throughout the. Throughout the tour, they would. They would change work in case. To keep. To keep you more safe. Actually, you know, I used to keep all my. All my credentials. This is not a lanyard. This is a lanyard.

[C]

I thought. I thought. I thought. I thought the whole thing came on. I thought. Yeah, yeah. The credentials on the lanyard.

[B]

Yes, but I keep all of my credentials to, like, everything I do. Look at all these credentials I have.

[C]

Oh, my God. I thought I should have done that. I never did. I feel so stupid.

[B]

DragCon. More Madonna stuff. Chelsea. Ooh.

[C]

Oh, my God. Well, you were there for that

[B]

anyway. Vulture Festival, the Emmys, Trix and coffee.

[C]

I have an Emmy one as well. Cause I was there with you. That's when I took that infamous video of Bob. Look like you were sleeping.

[B]

The Streamy Awards, Spotify.

[C]

And there's no way that can't be all of them. That is not all of them.

[B]

MTV Awards. No. I only started collecting them after. You know what? I started because Ryan Acedo. I went to his office and he would collect all his. And I was like, why do I throw these away? I should keep them all. And then because Ryan started doing it, I started doing it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I saw Ryan doing it, I was like, I should do that.

[C]

So I keep my credentials. Yeah. I thought about it one time, and I was like, yeah, I could do that. And then I just did it. And now I feel like I've. I've missed out on so many amazing things. I'm just. I'm just not gonna do it anymore. I'm over it.

[B]

Well, that's okay. I'm sorry that you. That you. That you. That you missed out on so many opportunities to do that. You're going to have. You have a long career ahead of you.

[C]

Oh, so sweet. Thank you.

[B]

I asked for you to decide.

[C]

Yeah. So they lost all my shit because I flew fucking Iberia Airlines. And what's the crazy thing to me this is kind of like when I lost my jewelry. Everyone is like, oh, you don't insure your jewelry. Like, when I lost my bag, people were like, oh, you didn't. You don't. You don't airtag your suitcases. Oh, you know, I don't airtag my suitcases.

[B]

You don't airtag. I air tag my suitcases.

[C]

Your suitcases are all airtagged.

[B]

I have an airtag in every single bag. I have my backpacks, my fanny packs, all of them.

[C]

No one says that. I didn't know that was a thing people were doing. Everyone's like, everybody act like I was the dumbest, stupidest bitch. You're like, you don't airtag your bags.

[B]

No, not. Air tagging your bags is wild.

[C]

It is wild. This is not okay. You are not going to act. All of y' all who air tag your bags not going to act like we are all out here air tagging our luggages.

[B]

We all should be air tagging our luggage.

[C]

That makes sense. But I think we're on the movement to doing so. It's not a standard.

[B]

When you put an air tag in your. All of my bags. All of my bags have air tags in them. I mean, every single bag, girl, my wallet has an air tag on it. But here's what you guys need to realize. When you air tag your backpack, do not put the airtag on the outside of your backpack. If someone steals it, they're just gonna remove the airtag.

[C]

Oh, but let me tell you something. I bought. Literally, I bought a pack of 12, and I'm gonna put them on the. Like, I'm gonna cut a hole in the fabric and stick it on inside part there so that if someone steals it, they're not gonna say, oh, airtag, and throw it away. I'm gonna put it to where they can't find it.

[B]

All my stuff, a little air tag in there. You don't have to go that far when they just put it on the inside. You don't know that, bitch.

[C]

You do not know people. People are shady.

[B]

Oh, so now you went from, bitch, don't act like air tags of this. But now you're like, I'm gonna make a secret compartment.

[C]

Oh, but here's the thing. If I get a piece of jewelry from one of those little candy machines with a little 25 cent, I am assuring that I am not playing. Now. Y' all have. In the past two months, I have lost. I've lost. I have lost everything.

[B]

I've lost everything. Are you Angela Bassett.

[C]

I've lost everything. My entire family. So, yeah, so I am taking. I am bitch. I am air tagging anything that is of value to me. My little gimbal thing you saw me with, I'm tagging everything that has value to me.

[B]

Give me the thing that you literally refuse to. Send me the link to Refuse.

[C]

Send it to me right now. Refuse.

[B]

Send it to me right now. In this moment. Send me the link.

[C]

You are.

[B]

You are so scared of my power. If I. If I become a blogger, you know,

[C]

oh, my God, you are rising. You're so ridiculous. You're so ridiculous.

[B]

To the. The Cream rhymes, right? Right?

[C]

Yeah, nigga. The cream knows the fucking phrase they're trying to say. That's what the free the Cream does, first of all.

[B]

So you said you wanted to catch up. Is there anything else you want to tell me about? Sorry about your luggage. That sounds really upsetting.

[C]

They found it.

[B]

I think that I don't want to be one of those girls who I did it once, but I don't think I want to be someone who, like when something goes wrong, my go to is to get on Twitter and be like Iberia.

[C]

I had to because. Bob, here's the thing. Right here's where I was frustrated. They lost my bag because I flew from London. I was going to write directly to Chile. And the only flight that made sense was an Iberia flight. Never flown Iberia before. Get on a thing and I get to Chile, you know. You know, when you get on to the nitty gritty, it's you and three other people. You're like, oh boy, here we go. My bag's not there. I go to the man, I'm like, hey, my bag is not here, first of all. Also, it's in. We're in Chile, which is a Spanish speaking country. I can like, I can like stomp my way through Spanish, you know what I mean? I'm not proficient, but I'm not bad. I understand. I can get it together and talking to him. But Tai is Mexican descent. But Ty's sitting there and I am struggling. I'm like, yo quiero Ty's.

[B]

And they're like, does Ty speak Spanish? No,

[C]

but I am trying.

[B]

Taya, just cause he Mexican don't mean he speaks Spanish.

[C]

I am yo quiero Viv Malentas. Nose bleeding and tides in there.

[B]

Like, you got it, you got it.

[C]

Anyway, so we finally figured out, after like an hour, they gave me my things and then I'm like, so do they know where my bag is? He's like, there's no information on your bag. I'm like, how is there no information on it? Like, did it make the connection? Is it stuck? Didn't it ever come from London? For four days, they did not know where my bag was. Like, you know, in Delta, you check your bag in. It's. You know, when your bag is in the thing, when it's on its way to the plane. When it's on the plane, like, you. There's a. There's a paper trail. There was no paper trail. They had no idea what the bag was, which. Which was the crazy part to me.

[B]

But that is. Yeah, that is wild.

[C]

So, yeah. So I got it anyway. And then. But then I come in last night from Rio to LAX with my one little bag. I've been making the rest of the tour. I get to LAX last night, my bag does not come at lax. My other bag. Now my other bag is lost. So I go through the Delta.

[B]

I found that out the hard way.

[C]

I go to the Delta, lady, I'm

[B]

like, let me tell y', all, last night, my ass was sitting here. So I have. I have an office space now. Maybe I should share the renovation of my office space on TikTok.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that'll be cute.

[B]

Yeah, that'll be cute. But it's not really. So what y' all see right now, it looks like it's set up, but I just have one corner that looks nice, and the rest is just a bunch of boxes in a room.

[C]

Nice. Continue.

[B]

Anyway, so I was sitting here. So I landed at the airport after a long day of hooking. After a long night of hooking, I took a day trip to San Francisco for work. I came back and I was like, okay. I landed at like, 8:30, but we had a podcast at 10 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[B]

So I sat here for like an hour, you know, hour and a half. It's whatever. I'll just say I'll use my phone. And then 10 o' clock came around. Monet was like, I'll be ready at 11. And I was like, well, we supposed to be at 10. So we found out there was a. There was some sort of a scheduling discrepancy. Okay. I said, well, okay, I can't wait another hour. It's fine. Then Monet's like, now, when I said 11, what I really meant was midnight, 12:30, because now I can't find my luggage. And I was like, you know, I gotta go home. I didn't say you did anything wrong, but that is an accurate description. You were Like, I might not get home until 12, 12:30 now. Like, where did I lie? Where did I.

[C]

You didn't lie. You didn't lie. But what it sounded like you were saying, like you were like, I was just fucking around, but my bag was lost. I was like, hey, girl. So actually, I don't think I can get there by 11. I have to wait. Cause it had just missed my connection. So it's coming on the next flight. Luckily, there are flights like every hour from Atlanta to LAX. So it just got there, like at 11 and I ended up getting it at 11.

[B]

Bro. It's busy at the airport.

[C]

Atlanta is work. Yeah. So that was my time. Actually, let's take a quick break and I'll tell you. I have a question to ask you about something.

[D]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax.

[C]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[D]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[C]

And breathe.

[D]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[B]

1-800-contacts.

[D]

Feel your best and amplify your everyday look with Thrive cosmetics. Go to thrivecosmetics.com shine26 for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order. That's Thrive Cosmetics. C-A-U-S-E M E T I C S.com shine26.

[B]

All right, Linda, you have a question for me? What's your question?

[C]

Did you miss me?

[B]

There were some moments where I missed you, yeah. What was I doing just now? I had a. Oh, my God. I had a. I was so. I've been. I've been workshopping my show. This is wild. I did it two nights ago at the Comedy Store in la. Oh, I missed that out of drag, actually, which felt really nice. And then I did some stand up. Do you know Heather Shaw? That lesbian who looks like Jim Carrey?

[C]

No. Let me look her up.

[B]

If you type in Heather Shaw, you'll be like, wow, this is. Who looks like Jim Carrey?

[C]

I have a question. What do you mean it felt nice that you did out of drag? I'm generally curious.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yes, I've seen her.

[B]

Yeah. What felt nice was that I feel like I now know for sure that the comedy itself is doing the work and not the fact that I'm up there in a costume.

[D]

Got it.

[C]

Did you have doubts about that before? Like, you felt people only laughed because you were in drag?

[B]

No, not really, but I felt like they were like. I felt like maybe they were laughing more because I was in drag. You know what I mean? Which I never want the fact that I'm in a dress to be the punchline of a joke. I don't think that me being in a dress is funny unless it's a funny dress. And, you know, I don't really like wearing funny outfits. So then I did Heather Shaw's show. I did about 15 minutes of Heather Shaw and I got some really great feedback about my content and my new tour. This is Wild is truly a love letter to millennials. It is a millennial love letter. I'm so proud of us. We have been through so much together. But it's not just for millennials. You know, there's stuff for the Gen Zs and the Gen Xers as well. And even a couple of boomers can come.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Boomer?

[C]

I can call them, bitch. The. Where. Where would I ever be a boomer? I am so not boomer. I am like anti boomer.

[B]

I didn't say you're a boomer.

[C]

Oh, I thought you said boomers. I thought you made a joke. Like, you can come.

[B]

There was a period. I mean, you do think you're. You do think you're a Gen Z, which is wild.

[C]

I did not say. See, you always messed it up. I said, I am on.

[B]

You said you were Gen Z several times.

[C]

I'm on the intersection. I am on the intersection of Gen Z.

[B]

And you're not. You're not.

[C]

That's wild to say that to me. That's wild.

[B]

Well, you're not.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Like when I say. When I. When I Google, what year were millennials born? Let's see if you make the cutoff. Let's see if you're on the cusp. Now, what are we considering? The cusp?

[C]

The cusp is like the year of.

[B]

Right, like the year. No, no, no, no.

[C]

It's like the decade leading.

[B]

Oh, you're gonna. You're like an eight year grace period.

[C]

Yeah, like the decade leading in.

[B]

You're going to give a decade. Well, monetary. A generation is a little over a decade.

[C]

Right. So the generation is massive.

[B]

A Generation is roughly 15 years. So you're adding a. So you're taking the two thirds of the decade. Is the lead up roughly?

[C]

Roughly. I'm not saying, like, this is a hard thing, but Roughly what year were you born? I was born in 19. I'm sorry, 2001.

[B]

I guess we're gonna have to use the Internet for this one. Let me just quickly get a moment.

[C]

I was born in 1990.

[B]

1990. And the cutoff year is. It is 1981 to 1996. You are six years from six years from being a Gen Z. You're not cusping, baby.

[C]

You're not cussed. Okay? Also, you make fun of me. You just said six years.

[D]

Y.

[C]

It's years.

[A]

Years.

[B]

You think it's pronounced yairs years.

[C]

Six years.

[B]

Do you think most of us are pronouncing it years?

[C]

Yeah, year. Like every year. Every year you go to this, every year you get older. How do you say it? Year.

[B]

Year. That's what most of most of us are saying. Year. Most Americans. Most people with American accents are saying year. Year is your Caribbean thing, your little West Indian thing. Yers, hairs.

[C]

Okay, don't call it my little Caribbean thing because, honey, the Caribbean is big. Honey, we're a major. Don't be coming.

[B]

No.

[C]

So don't try to disagree.

[B]

It's smaller than America. Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And so, relatively speaking, smaller than Russia, smaller than Canada, just like Mexico.

[C]

My definition of Gen Z is roughly. Roughly speaking, relatively.

[B]

Can we get back to years?

[D]

You.

[B]

You think most folks are saying years?

[C]

Yeah, every year. Year, year. Every year.

[B]

Jay, can you say year, Year.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, that's what most people say. No, he did not say yer. He said year.

[C]

Every year I get older.

[B]

You keep changing it. You were saying yer before you saying every year. You were saying it like hair. You were saying yer. And hair is year and hair.

[C]

Year and hair. To be determined.

[B]

There is no to be determined. Hair and year don't rhyme.

[C]

You know what? We need to do an episode with a fucking linguist. And because I would love to have not even linguist. Who would be good for this, a fucking speech pathologist. We need to do an episode of speech pathologist because the years. The years of the bullying of my. How I say and pronounce words.

[B]

You called out me. I didn't get onto your years until you start talking about my years, okay? I didn't start this. Don't gaslight me. I did not start this. You. You started this. Honey, let me be clear. Let me be clear.

[C]

Clear, clear, clear, clear. See, if I. If I had a realist in the accident, like. All right, let me be clear. That's how West Indians say it. Well, not all West Indians, but, like Grenadans and Trini. They say Clear. Let me clear that.

[B]

But you're not Grenadin anymore. I know.

[C]

I'm saying Lucha. So we say clear.

[B]

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with having an accent. I'm just pointing out that you have one. There's nothing wrong with having an accent.

[C]

Well, it sounds like you make it a human you.

[B]

Okay, let me tell.

[C]

This is what I learned in therapy. Let me tell you how I. How it make. How it makes me feel. I feel. That's what I feel.

[B]

You feel that? You feel what? That. I'm saying having an accent is bad.

[C]

I feel ridiculed. I feel maligned. I feel hurt.

[B]

All that.

[C]

All of that.

[B]

All that. When I say. When I repeat back what you say, you know, your feelings are valid, and I don't want to take those away from you.

[C]

Can I tell you something? What? Okay. This is so problematic. It's going to be so, so problematic. This is gonna be so problematic. But I get that all feelings are valid, but sometimes I'm like, nigga, that feeling that you had, sometimes, nigga, your feeling is not valid. Not you specific, not you specifically.

[B]

Can you give me an example of something where you're like, that's not valid?

[C]

Like, let's say you, me, and Jacob are at your home, and then we're like, you know, let's go get some ice cream. And Jake was like, like, let's go get ice cream. At 3 o'.

[B]

Clock.

[C]

3 o' clock comes in the morning

[B]

or in the afternoon?

[C]

In the afternoon.

[B]

Cause that makes a difference in the story, I just want to say. Makes a big difference in the story.

[C]

In the afternoon, at 3 o', clock, you and I put in our shoes. We're at the door, we're like, jacob, we're gonna get ice cream. And Jacob is like, actually, I'm gonna use the bathroom now. Okay. Like, just make it quick. Five minutes later, Jacob is like, okay, I'm done, actually, but I wanna cut my hair a little bit, too. Okay, you know what? We're gonna go and get the ice cream. It's literally on the corner. We'll be right back. And Jacob's like, no, no, let me go cut my hair. We're gonna go get the ice cream. And Jacob proceeds to go cut his hair. And we go get the ice cream. And we come back, and Jacob was like, oh, my God, you abandoned me. And we're like, whoa, whoa. Abandoned. I like, jacob, we did not abandon you, babe. We just went to get the ice cream, and now we're back in literally five minutes. Like, no, you Abandoned me.

[B]

What?

[C]

We didn't abandon. Well, I feel abandoned. I'm like, you know what?

[B]

Well, nigga, I did not.

[C]

We did not abandon you. N. We did not abandon you. We went to get the ice cream for five minutes. Now we back.

[B]

So what we're saying, in this situation, the feeling of abandonment is valid. It is valid that you feel abandoned.

[C]

And I know you are abandoned.

[B]

Oh, well, then. Well, then why did you even bring it up?

[C]

I know, I know. We're just talking shop. We're just talking amongst friends.

[B]

Why don't you let me talk? Why you cut me off when I start talking shop? I let you do the whole scenario. I talk three seconds, you yell. I know the moment I started talking shop, you want to cut me off. That was crazy. That was crazy. I can't talk shop, but you can talk shop. Makeup scenarios about my boyfriend.

[C]

Oh, yeah, he's in. I don't know if Jacob wants to say his business, but that's very cute.

[B]

Jacob's in London. I don't think he'd be upset. Jacob became an uncle.

[C]

I know that means by proxy you're an uncle.

[B]

Yeah, but I also tell someone I've been an uncle for, like, 20 something years.

[C]

Oh, yeah, true.

[B]

The uncle game is not new to me. I have a nephew coming to live with me who is a grown man.

[C]

I'm so excited for that. By the way, can I take Camion on activities?

[B]

Yeah. Kevin has grown. Cammie can do whatever he wanted. Cammy can do whatever he want to do. Cameyon is, I don't have a middle schooler moving in with me. I have a grown ass man moving into my home. Cameyon be like, if y' all want to go to Universal, y' all can hang out at Universal all day long now.

[C]

Came up like, uncle Career. Can you give me for this gay ass nigga going through these gay ass fucking activities?

[B]

Camion would not. Camion was raised around a lot of gay people. He would never say that.

[C]

I love that.

[B]

But I do think that Camion would. Camion would pretend to be. He wouldn't pretend to be interested, but he would. He would be too kind to say, I don't want to do this.

[C]

Like, if I took him to. If I took him, if he wanted to go somewhere, like, to, like, weho.

[B]

I mean, I don't think about that. But, like, if you took. Came in somewhere that he wouldn't find, like a crystal store, and he would go to the crystal store with you, but he would be too kind to be like, I'm not having any fun.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

He would be very kind about it, and I would ask him, and I'd be like, cameron, did you have fun at the Crystal Store with Monet? And he'd be like, man, it was cool. And I'd be like, okay. But, like, did you have fun? Yeah, there was some fun stuff. Like, I was talking me, Taylor. Not your Taylor. My Taylor.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Mateo and Nick were at a diner together, right? And Taylor had driven Mateo and Nick to the diner from the bar. This was when me. You. This was the night where you supposed to come out with us, but you ended up being like, I have to write.

[C]

I did have to write.

[B]

Okay, I'm just repeating what you said.

[C]

I have to write.

[B]

Don't act like you're Emily Dickinson. Like, Walt Whitman's up in here, like you're fucking Stephen King writing the next great horror film, horror novel or some shit. When I was like, I would love to, but the pen and paper are calling me. So me and Peppermint and Mitch and Nick, and we're all Peppermint to go out.

[C]

Peppermint and Mitch left already.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[C]

We had all went out the night before.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. Anyway, so we're supposed to go out. Monet had to. Monet had to do her. Her journaling. I don't know what the fuck she was writing. Monet made up some story about some. Some books she's writing.

[C]

I did not make up a story about a book. You're so extra.

[B]

Like, writing. The writing is what sent me. I have to write. I have to write.

[C]

You are so annoying. You are so annoying anytime I'm saying do something. Like, I did not even say, like, that. I was like, literally, y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

I was like, hey, guys, I want to go out. But I had to, like, get this work done. I had to. I had to write down this. This.

[B]

I have to write the paper. And the pen called to me. You don't understand. You wouldn't understand. So I said, okay, girl, now Mateo is the type. Mateo cannot let. Mateo can't leave on Mateo's like, please. I'm like, y' all, leave this girl alone. She got a right. Y' all don't get it. She has to write. Guys, you all don't understand how.

[C]

Y' all are so annoying.

[B]

So me, Jacob, Taylor, Nick, and Matteo went out. Yeah, we didn't go out for long, actually, but we. I think we just went to a diner. But because Mateo and Nick were staying near Taylor, Taylor drove them to the diner, and then. Or they were near where Taylor was or something. And then on the way out, we're, like, leaving the diner, and I can see them going toward Taylor's car. And Taylor was like, oh, oh, did you guys need a ride home? And Matteo was saying something like, well, if you're offering. But I could tell that Taylor didn't want to give them a ride home. And I could also tell that Mateo would not care to call. Like, Mateo wouldn't care if he had to call Uber.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But Taylor. But Taylor just didn't have the. He's kind of like. He's kind of like me. Or where he won't just be like, do you mind just taking an Uber? He was like. And I was like, y', all. Taylor don't want to drive y' all home. If you can call an Uber. I'm sure he'd appreciate that. And then they're like, oh, we'll just call an Uber. That's okay. I didn't know that. And then Taylor was like, thank you so much. I didn't know what to say.

[C]

I'm often in those situations. I get that.

[B]

Is.

[C]

What's Taylor's sign?

[B]

Maybe a cancer.

[C]

Maybe water sign. I thought it was a Pisces. That is very Piscean behavior.

[B]

Oh, okay. What sign are we in right now?

[C]

Right now? We're in cancer. We're in cancer season, girl. It's your time.

[B]

But I'm on the cusp. I don't know if I'm on the end of the cusp or the beginning of the cusp. I don't know which one.

[C]

Well, cancers are emotional. You are a very emotional person.

[B]

Everyone's emotional.

[C]

But no, I have friends who are like, someone like Nick. Nick is not a very emotional person.

[B]

Not with you. He doesn't trust you. He doesn't feel comfortable. He told me he doesn't feel comfortable with you, but he cries to me.

[C]

What is Nick Boring. Do you know Nick's birthday?

[B]

No. It's probably in my phone.

[C]

Damn. Oh, sure.

[B]

You don't know it. You don't know it. Hands in the air. Hands in the air and tell me Nick's birthday. Hands in the air. Tell me Nick's birthday. Hands in the air. Tell me Nick's birthday.

[C]

Okay. What do you think you'll be Googling? Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, you'll be checking text, bitch.

[C]

What in the stigmata, Bob, this just appeared. Look at that.

[B]

Oh, yeah. It looks like a. Like a mark in your hand.

[C]

Am I holy.

[B]

You might be Jesus.

[C]

Give it. Show me to me.

[B]

Show me to me. Show me. Rachel, I am flattered by your fascination with me. Is that from the movie Stigmata?

[C]

I have no idea. I don't know what you're singing.

[B]

And you, you're unaloud.

[C]

Oh, that song.

[B]

You're uninvited.

[C]

I never. I didn't know there's a movie called Stigmat. I don't know what that is.

[A]

Or.

[B]

It's Dogma. I think it's called Dogma, actually.

[C]

Okay, well, let's take a break and let's talk more about dogs.

[B]

Nick's birthday. Oh, we're back. Nick's birthday is March 15th.

[C]

Nick. See, Nick is a Pisces.

[B]

But I thought it was supposed to be emotional.

[C]

No, cancers are emotional.

[B]

Oh, Pisces. Supposed to be afraid to hurt people's feelings.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause that ain't Nick.

[C]

That ain't Nick.

[B]

I think the chart got it wrong on that one, honey. Cause Nick don't give a mother about your feelings. That's for goddamn sure.

[C]

Woo, baby.

[B]

Nick will drop bombs on you. You be like, God damn

[C]

him and Mateo's podcast there. This is like a live segment of their pod. I want to, like. Like, one of my friends do shows. I always want to, like, pop up at their show, like, unannounced and be like, hey, girl, I'll just be in the audience. I would like to go see Nick and Mateo's next live show. I need to, like, put that.

[B]

Well, I think the next live one is in Chicago.

[C]

I thought that happened already.

[B]

Maybe. I thought. I mean, if it happened, it happened very recently.

[C]

You're right. Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I think.

[C]

I think it, like, just happened or something and I missed it.

[B]

Did it?

[C]

I think so. I may be wrong, but I thought so. We'll see.

[B]

I mean, let me. Let me look it up.

[C]

Not as promo, I hope.

[B]

I hope.

[C]

Whatever. What's the name of the podcast? I hate you.

[B]

For real. Never liked you. I never liked you.

[C]

I hope they. They give us promo on their pod as well.

[B]

I never liked you. Nick Smith. Matteo. Name? Elena. Never liked you. Full organizer for more information. Yeah, I must. Maybe it already. Maybe it already happened. View details, April 13th. Oh, no, that's. That's the one. There was one in New York City that was at the Bell House. Let me see. I never liked you. Chicago.

[C]

Can I tell you?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Our Bellhouse shows were so fabulous. I miss those shows.

[B]

What was I used to have to beg you to do?

[C]

Well, you don't have to beg me.

[B]

August 17th, you have not missed the show. It is on August 17th.

[C]

You can still go, oh, am I around August 17th?

[B]

I don't have the answer to that question. I've already done half the research for you. Can you do. Can you pull your weight in any way, shape, or fashion?

[C]

Oh, speaking of y', all sibling rivalry. Oh, my God. My God. This is my tbr, y' all. Sibling rivalry. We have a live show at the Balboa Theater in San Diego. We've had to reschedule this date a few times, but this one, as they say on Drag Race, right before the lip sync, this one's for real after to play the track. So it's going to be on August 8th and at the Balboa Theater in San Diego. If you are in Southern California, bitch. If you're in la, drive down. It's like an hour and a half drive. I'm driving down, and then afterwards, I'm going to mess up.

[B]

You want to drive me down, But

[C]

I can't because I'm driving to Joshua Tree directly from there after the show. Not just when it comes to Joshua

[B]

Tree doesn't Joshua Tree. You have to drive back through la.

[C]

No, you don't. You're going east. Joshua Tree's east.

[B]

Oh, so now you're the. Now you're a geographic geographer.

[C]

Geography, Joe. Yes, I am. Is that a job, to be a geographer? Is that a thing?

[B]

I don't know how. Who makes maps?

[C]

I would assume a geographer, but there's

[B]

probably a word for a map maker. A geographer.

[C]

Cartographer.

[B]

A geographer study the earth and the distribution of its land features and inhabitants. So, yes, you can be a geographer.

[C]

Wow. Maybe I should do that second act. I really. Can I tell you this? I'm not doing a thing. I'm not doing a bit.

[B]

Why does. Why do you know what a map maker is, Jay? I know a lot. Yes. A cartographer is a person who produces or draws maps. A cartographer.

[C]

Cartographers are very important jobs. I'm so happy we have them.

[B]

I would say so. More importantly, why didn't you believe me? I didn't say I didn't believe you. I was. I was telling someone else recently. Look at something that doesn't mean I don't believe you want to know for sure? And get a professional mic if you're going to speak on the podcast, honey.

[C]

Ooh. Welcome with that ao. Hey, I'm taking after Jacob. Bob. Do you want to say anything about Al Balboa show, or do you want to Say anything.

[B]

You did such a good job describing it. I mean, you pitched it so well. I would love for you all to come down as well, please. What do you think me and Monet should wear? The. Well, I would say the most liked comment. We'll wear whatever you all say, but Monet might not even have her luggage. No, I think that.

[C]

Should we? Should we? Should we? Should we? Okay. Should we do ABC of four different colors and they pick from one of those colors?

[B]

Let's repeat your look. Let's both wear cargo pants, a T shirt, a long red wig, and some air force ones. Honestly, the looks low key. Iconic at this point.

[C]

Iconic. I saw you post something on your Twitter. You reposted someone doing, like a red and blonde thing, and you're like, oh, but when I do it, it's a problem.

[B]

I'm like, it's a problem when they do it, it's okay when they do it, it's a problem when I do it.

[C]

Because that one was beautiful. The hair was well done. It looked gorgeous.

[B]

Mine was beautiful. Mine was beautiful. And you're gonna start maligning Marco. You're gonna stop. No, we've lining.

[C]

Marco, I've done this to you before,

[B]

and I keep telling you the wig looked how it was always looked. I've shown you pictures of the wig the first time I wore it. That wig has never not looked like that. You're not about to try to. You're not about to. No backpedaling. Your honor. She's backpedaling. Your honor has looked the same way the whole time.

[C]

And when you showed me, I didn't agree when later on, it was mad a little bit. The little crimps weren't crimping anymore. They look like when you. When you lit it later, the crimps look like crumps. Your crimps were doing this.

[B]

The wig has always looked. The wig has always looked the same way the whole time. And you just. You're now you're scared because Marco's coming. Coming for that ass. That Italian's gonna whoop that ass. That's all.

[C]

I introduced you to Marco.

[B]

Lady Bunny introduced me to Marco.

[C]

Bob the motherfucking drag queen Lady Bunny introduced you to Marco's wigs.

[B]

The Bunny. Bob the Bunny.

[C]

Bob the drag queen hop a hibbit,

[B]

a hibbit to the hip, hip hop. And you don't stop that bunny.

[C]

I'm not even gonna.

[B]

I'm not.

[C]

I'm not doing this.

[B]

Don't do it then. Don't do it then. Don't Zone. Zone.

[C]

You swear you New York. You swear you're in New York?

[B]

I really don't. I've made it very clear several times. I am a New Yorker, but I'm not from New York.

[C]

But. But you will tapatio, though.

[B]

I'm not. I don't speak Spanish, but I will tap a tio. Did you use that line in Chile? No. Okay. Why do you say it like that?

[C]

Why would I randomly just say that line? Say it on the microphone.

[B]

It's Spanish. And then you went to Rio?

[C]

I went to Sao Paulo, and I went to Rio.

[B]

You said you walked down the Copacabana Beach.

[C]

Yeah, I went to Sao Paulo, then I went to Rio. Rio was the last place I was at.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I just said you went to Rio.

[C]

Yeah, but it was Chile.

[B]

You know my name from Tokyo down to Rio. I don't speak Spanish, but I will. On top of tlu, it was literally the perfect opportunity for you to free

[C]

to use it, you know, next time. Cause I will go back. I want to go back, and I have all my actual drag, and I can do all the things I plan to do, as opposed to just having to piece things together and make something work. Also, I will say the culture. Oh, there goes Patty with my bag, y'. All. Patty has my bag. He. He about to open this door and cause a ruckus, and I'm gonna tell him he needs a hold. Oh, my God. I found my bag, y'. All, and all my stuff is here.

[B]

That's nice.

[C]

Member Musil? Everything is here. All the girls are here.

[B]

Jesus.

[C]

This is a gay podcast. They know what's up.

[B]

I just wasn't. It just was. I was. We were talking about drag and jewelry a second ago, and now we're talking about douches and Metamucil. So I'm just. It was.

[C]

It was.

[B]

I was shocked.

[C]

Do you take fiber?

[B]

Sometimes. Not always. I am very regular. Like, when I tell you I do not have no, like, folks who can't poop or poop once a day or. I am, baby, when I tell you I poop at pretty much the same two times every single day, baby. I am regular.

[C]

I'm regular, too. When you take the Metamucil, what it does just brings everything together so that when you do use the restroom, like, if you like. I. I'm not kidding. I don't even have to wipe if I don't. If I don't want to.

[B]

You keep telling us this repulsive fact

[C]

every opportunity you get.

[B]

We're talking. Well, for me, talking about poop is a little repulsive to me. Maybe you love poop, and I'm not judging if you do.

[C]

Just kidding. See, you're trying to take me to

[B]

another echelon, but, I mean, yeah, I just don't. I don't think I've ever really had problems with my poop.

[C]

I know people who do.

[B]

And by the way, if y' all do that is. I'm so sorry that you have problems with poop, but I have just been always regular, and the consistency of my stool has always been pretty healthy.

[C]

My friend Tyrone, he's very. He's on this thing about how douching is not good for you because you're shoving so much water up there and you're, like, clearing the lining of your thing and doing it for someone. If you do it, like, multiple times a day or multiple times a week, like, it could potentially not be good for you. So he's really big on Metamucil, so that you're. So when you. So when you are using the restroom, you're, like, taking everything out of there so you don't have to douche as intensely because he. Because he's. He has, like. He does, like, a lot of research about it too. He's, like, very passionate about. About how douching is not good for your rectal. For your anus.

[B]

Well, I don't think you're supposed to be douching too deep. You're not supposed to be going. You're not supposed to be putting that much water in there. You're supposed to be cleaning out the first couple of inches. The first, like, 5, 6, 7, maybe 8 inches, depending on who you're hanging out with. If you're going past that, if you're. If it is going up into your. Where. Where your intestines start to start to do this because, you know, you're intensity. They go up and then they start doing this. Right. If you're up in this part, you've gone too far. No one's going up there. No one's going up there.

[C]

Ah, people who get fisted. Yeah, they are.

[B]

Okay. Yes. If you're getting fisted, you probably need to be doing some deep, intense stuff. But also if you're getting fisted, you're probably not doing it multiple times a week. Most people get fisted. Don't do it every day of the week.

[C]

Well, yeah, sure. I just. Every person who douches. You have been in a situation where you. Where you just. Where you're just going for the little bit at the Beginning, but you just over douche a little bit. Then you release the Kraken. And then what's supposed to be 15 minutes? You are now sitting there for an hour, just. And it won't stop because you released a Kraken like it's a wrap. That's the worst feeling I've had.

[B]

One time I. I thought I was done, and I got on the train, I got to his house, and I was not done. I gagged. I was like, I need a moment. I need. I need a moment, please.

[C]

Yeah, that's the worst. That's the worst. When you're like, oh, yes, bitch, I got it all done. Because you did the pass and you think it's clear. And girl, something. There's always just a little something in the back of your. Right here, right here. It's like. Just like it's 20 minutes later. Just try one more time. And bitch, you go there. You're like, thank God I did that or else it would have been Murder, She Wrote.

[B]

I hooked up with someone recently who I haven't wanted to hook up with for probably 13 years now. And honestly, it was so fantastic. It was worth the wait. He's hotter now than he was when I used to have a crush on him back in New York City. I was like, this is so fantastic. I'm so happy that this happened. And I'll text you about it. Cause I'm not trying to put their tea in the street. But I was like, ugh, what a glorious, glorious day. Truly. I was just so happy. I was just so happy.

[C]

Sometimes the way you describe hookups is too much. I can't. I am so glad that how you were like, you know, I hooked up this question recently, and all I can think of. I'm just so glad this is happening. And I just couldn't. I just said to myself, wow, this is a really great moment. Thank you.

[B]

Well, it was a great one. So I was just happy to be. I just texted you. I was just happy to be there. I was like, wow, what a great experience I've had here.

[C]

Wait, really?

[B]

Yeah. It was so wonderful. So wonderful.

[C]

Wait, let me double check the last name.

[B]

Yeah, that's the one.

[C]

I just exited. You.

[B]

That's the one. Yeah, yeah, of course.

[A]

What?

[B]

How wonderful. It was so great. So great. Oh, amazing.

[C]

So good.

[B]

I was like, we should have been doing this. We should have been doing this after the past decade.

[C]

That's hilarious. That is hilarious. In Sao Paulo. Because Brooklyn and I. Because. I mean, you know this about me too. On tours Gigs, whatever. I rarely go out. I am not the go out girl I normally like after the gig. Bob all sipping rivalry tour the dancers. Juicy's not even that tour. The dancers before on our one with tits on with them. They always wanted to go out. Y' all all went out in Toronto and I was like, nah, I'm gonna stay on the bus. I'm not usually to go out girl on Even on Work the world all the girls know this about me. And then. But why are you doing that face?

[B]

I'm just taking in this information anyway.

[C]

But I did go out in Sao Paulo and Brooklyn. Brooklyn also doesn't really go out either. And she ended up going out and bitch when I tell you we got to the place at 3am Fucking Maddie. What you call her? Maddie the visibly plain white girl. She and all of that.

[B]

We all.

[C]

They went back.

[B]

They went funny to me. Maddie tickles me pink. Just. Just her being in the place that she's at is so. It's funny to me. I'm like, girl, what are you doing? What are you doing here?

[C]

And we got to the cause the. Okay, I will say this. These shows in South America are a marathon, OK? Our show in Rio started at 11. It did not end until 2:30 in the morning. It was a long show. It was a lot of girl. It was a long show.

[B]

We all go back to. That's the old look queen days GR

[C]

girl, y' all go back to the whole time. I was like, are we gonna go out? And I was like, yeah, let's go out. So rally of the troops. We all went out. We went to this after party. The after party was actually a circuit party at this club called the High Club. And we. When I. When we left Bob, it was 8:45 in the morning from the club and the club. The party was still going on. Everything. I had not partied like that in a long time. It was very good.

[B]

I ain't never partied like that. I don't have it in me to do that kind of partying, girl. I just don't have. I don't have what it takes. I just don't have what it takes. I just. I just. We just did a Patreon exclusive about how me and dawn and Plasma went to an after party. And it was in. And it was like I. I didn't even go upstairs. It was too crazy. It was so crazy. I was like, I'm not even going upstairs. This is too much for me.

[C]

When was this? When you were there for Pride?

[B]

No, I was There for Madonna. And they were there for something else. They were, they were just. They were both there for Bo and I was there for Madonna.

[C]

Work. And after, like, what time was it?

[B]

After Trixie was in town too.

[C]

What time was he.

[B]

Afters, Like, I don't know, three, four. Work.

[C]

See, I see here I get so confused about that. So in New York City, so bars have to close at 4am so the bars that are open until like someone like Pacha, that's open until like 10am how they're allowed to do that? I don't understand.

[B]

You can't serve alcohol between 4:00 clock

[C]

and 10:00am Got it. So they can legally be open, but it's cancer of alcohol.

[B]

Yeah. And a lot of bars are like, well, cancer of alcohol. What the fuck are we doing here? You know what I mean?

[C]

Right. Okay, that makes sense. I never understood. I'm like, if bar. I thought that bars had to just close like by 4:00am like, no, they

[B]

just closed because they have to stop serving alcohol by 4am and they can't make money.

[C]

So why stay open?

[B]

Yeah, and a lot. And like you, I don't know if you remember that, but like when we went to the diners, girls would try to drink at the diners and they were like, we can't serve you anything. Like, we can't serve you alcohol between 4, 4 and 10am Got it.

[C]

After 10am you can serve alcohol.

[B]

I believe it's 10. It might be 8am me see when can wait? What hours can you serve? Jay, you don't know this since you know every motherfucking thing, since you know everything. 8:00am Wait, yeah, this is midnight a.m. that's not right. It's 10. What? It says Sundays, 10 to 10, liquor and wine, 8 to 8. Oh, here it is. 4:00am To 8:00am that's what it is. That was hard to find. Bars and lounges are 4am to 8am yeah, but here's my thing.

[C]

Why does the government care if I want to drink at 6am? Why do you care if? Like, why they didn't say you can't

[B]

drink it, then it said you can't drink at 6am you just can't.

[C]

Why can't you serve it? Like, if I want to serve it at my bar, why do you care?

[B]

Probably because of just the liability of traffic picking back up. I don't know. I mean, there's probably some reason. There's probably a health concern. More than likely. That's like. That's like saying if I want to smoke Meth Why can't I just smoke meth? Why do you care? Why do you care if I'm smoking meth? Because it could be dangerous to you and people around you.

[C]

No, that's different. Meth is illegal. You can't serve. You bitch.

[D]

You.

[C]

You can't smoke. Smoke meth in the morning. You can't smoke it at night. You can't smoke it ever. But you can drink at every hour of the day except these four hours.

[B]

Why can't I just go get chemo even if I don't have any condition? Why can't I just go get chemo if I want it?

[C]

Cause you're not sick. That is a different argument than why

[B]

chemo is legal, though.

[C]

No, but that's a different argument than why you can't drink because you cannot get chemo.

[B]

Why can't I take Ambien if it's not prescribed to me?

[C]

Because you cannot. Because you need a prescription. You do not need a prescription to drink. You can drink alcohol at any time you want to.

[B]

But it's legal, though. Ambien is legal.

[C]

These are different arguments. That is not what I'm talking about. I am saying this is a legal thing that you can do at any time in the day. And except for these four hours. Like, why? Maybe because it's more dangerous during those hours. It's More dangerous at 4am you probably

[B]

have more of an opportunity to overserve people. Like, if someone's been drinking throughout all this time of legality, maybe they can really be overserved at this time. I think that it's probably a safety concern. I can't think of any other reason.

[C]

I feel there's a reason. I just don't know why outside of safety.

[B]

Because I can't think of any other reason why. You know, Right. Why can't you buy alcohol after this hour? Let's see. BD businesses and professional codes statue that make crime club. Between this. The offense is a misdemeanor. It doesn't say why, though. But it isn't alcohol. I mean, it is a misdemeanor, really,

[C]

to serve after those hours.

[B]

Mm. Isn't that kind of wild?

[C]

That's wild.

[B]

To be honest, I think it makes sense. I think it's a smart law.

[C]

Alcohol sales are regulated by states and localities, which kind of. For example. Oh, yeah. No, it doesn't say why. It just says what the thing is.

[B]

Bitch. I don't think there's a reason. There's always a reason. What was the reason right now? If they can make more Money they'd be doing ain't for money. I assure you that they're not concerned about. About the safety of their citizens. That I assure you they make more money if they stayed open the whole time. So let's figure out. Let's get to. Let's get to the. To the madness, honey.

[C]

After is afters, guys. There's a small chance that Bob might be moving into my neighborhood. It makes me so happy.

[B]

This chance is so tiny, though. It is really tiny. I mean, I'm. I'm. This office renovation has been kicking my ass, and then trying to move into a new home would kick my ass too. Like, just the idea of, like, coming in here and, like, trying to put stuff on. Oh, my God. I'm already stressed out. Stress. This is. It is. It is stressful.

[C]

We already come help you.

[B]

I have.

[C]

Like, I can. Actually, tomorrow's a pretty busy day.

[B]

Bring you guys over today. You are five minutes from here.

[C]

I can come. Well, after this, I have something to do.

[B]

You're coming. We're not. There's no conversation. See you soon.

[C]

We have another podcast. What are you talking about?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. I was gonna get Popeyes today. Yo, these new fucking wings at Popeyes, they slap. The hot lemon pepper one is delicious.

[B]

Really? That girl, by the way, if you live in Canada, the signature hot is different than it is in America. I'm so, so sorry. The ones you guys are getting are fine, but the ones we get in America are next. More fucking level. They're so good. I have to stop eating these wings. I have to stop eating these wings.

[C]

Should we do it? Should we do. Before you do it, should we do a mukbang for your channel? So let's try all of them.

[B]

Yeah. But it seems I don't want to do a mukbang because it feels a little wasteful because you can't get one of each. We'd end up with so many wings, and I can't eat that many wings, girl.

[C]

We have Andy on standby. Andy will finish everybody that we don't eat. And also, that's all the mukbangs, though. And mukbangs, they never.

[B]

Y' all don't get how much Andy eats. It is. I know I keep using the same word, but it's nothing short of impressive. It is impressive. You are like, how can someone eat this much food? It's wild to see. It's like he doesn't even chew. He just. He just puts the plate in front of his mouth, takes a deep breath, and it Just fucking flies there.

[C]

It's like that's. Do you know the movie Coneheads with Dan Aykroyd?

[B]

I do, yeah.

[C]

When they eat the hot dog, they

[B]

just go, that's hobby

[C]

that. Gluck Gluck 3000. Gluck Gluck is such a weird name to call that. That's so weird.

[B]

It's a gawk Gawk. Not Gluck Gluck Gawk Gawk. Because that's the noise you make.

[C]

I thought it was a gluck gluck.

[B]

That's the gluck. Oh my God. And you're in your cusp of Gen Z. Oh, okay. And you're on the cusp. You're cusping with your little six year cusp. Gawk. Yeah, because that's the noise you make when you're on it. When you put that Haktua on that thing. You hear about Haktua girl? Yeah, you better put that Haktu on that thing. Yeah, you gotta go.

[C]

Did you see the video of the girl being like, you know that girl's online saying that, Saying that she was going to. Was going to spit. She's going to hawk two on that dick. She's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm. I'm just fart on it. And she goes like, yeah, just like that.

[B]

She farts with her mouth or her butt?

[C]

No, with her ass. Like a loud.

[B]

Well, that's fetish. That's fetish stuff. She's doing that to get us to get a very specific person. And baby, I assure you, I assure you, they came clamoring.

[C]

It was loud, baby.

[B]

That's what they want. Those. Those people who are into that. They want the. Have you ever with someone who tried to. Who tried to force you into farting on them? No, I have.

[C]

I only had the one guy on me.

[B]

Really. He tried to force me into farting on him.

[C]

And did you not do it?

[B]

So I think I told you earlier, the podcast before, this is. Y', all, this is graphic. Just so you all know. Okay, so I was at the gym when I used to work out at the Crunch over in Chelsea. Near. Near. This was years. I was in my 20s. The crunch over near. It might have been a David Barton at the time actually, in Chelsea. Anyway, this guy hit me up on Grindr. Was like, come over. I said, I'm at the gym, just got a shower. He was like, no, don't shower. I want to eat your ass straight from the gym. I said, okay, whatever, whatever. You're into. I come over.

[C]

But you don't think that I had to kiss them afterwards? I'm like, no, Nick, if I'm kissing you, I'm showering afterwards, say I'm kissing.

[B]

Who says I was kissing?

[C]

Work. Continue.

[B]

Anyway, you kiss most of your hookups.

[C]

No, I don't. I don't kiss most of my hookups, but I think in my older age, I do like a kiss now. Before I used to never kiss anyone cuz I was like, g. But I think the older I get, I do like that.

[B]

I'm the reverse. I used to every hookup, used to sleep over. Every hookup, used to sleep over. Sleep over, sleep over. That's crazy.

[C]

Yeah, that's wild.

[B]

Anyway, he was doing his thing back there, and then he created a seal with his lips around my asshole and blew air into my anus. And I said, oh, like a fucking balloon. I said, hey, I didn't like that. I did not like that. Please don't do that. He goes, okay, sorry, sorry. And then he went back to doing his thing. Then maybe like two minutes later, again, once again, seals his lips around, makes a seal and blows air into my anus. And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like, my. This makes my stomach hurt. Like, please don't. This is causing me discomfort. And he was like, just fart in my face. Just fart in my face. He was trying to give me gas so I would fart in his face.

[C]

That's wild. I don't know. You can get. I didn't know you can get gas from blowing air up, girl.

[B]

I didn't know either. Maybe I did not know either, but he fucking blew me up like a motherfucking balloon, honey. I left his house, just left his apartment. Just farting. I was farting so irritated with that guy. That was so rude.

[C]

I tell you about my. I tell you about my. My. My. My smegma guy.

[B]

Wait, what? I don't think I know what smegma guy, bro.

[C]

This guy. It's dick cheese. On. On. On uncut dick.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Smeg. Yeah,

[C]

really quick. I don't know.

[B]

Maybe.

[C]

Oh, my God. You. We've been going for so long. I've probably told Trinity, not you. So it was this guy. We were hooking up. It was Trinity. It was Trinity, this guy we used to. He was in Queens. He just hook up. Oh, well. So we used to hook up this guy in Queens. And then. So I go to this place and then I go to suck his dick and I take out his dick and pull back the foreskin to start sucking. And he just had just a thick amount of smegmar on the stick. And I was like, oh. Like, no. Like, I. You want to, like, go to, like, shower first, whatever. And he was into people sucking him off with his smack again. Cause there are people who are into dick cheese. I am not a connoisseur of dick cheese, so it's not a service that I wanted to provide. But that was, like, his kink. He loved to watch guys sucking his dick with his, like, smegmoop.

[B]

What did you do?

[C]

It was wild. I didn't do it.

[B]

I'm not.

[C]

I would never.

[B]

I could not do it. And sucked his dick.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

You sucked his dick, So I did not suck the guy who shit on your chest.

[C]

Yes. That's different than the guy with the dick cheese. Dick cheese smells and it's just nasty. But I wiped it off and I would. Okay, the shit wasn't around his dick. It was on my chest and I wiped it off.

[B]

I feel discomfort in my chest right now from hearing this story. Like, I feel like it's, like, pain. Like, I feel like I have a cute angina right now.

[C]

Levi. Jenna. All right, we gotta go.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

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