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- [00:01]
Instacart Narrator
Instacart makes grocery shopping easier. And just because you're not doing the shopping yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart Shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want right in the app, like rotisserie chicken that's extra crispy steak with marbling the Romans would have loved, and lettuce you'd actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way, you can get groceries just how you like to add. Download the Instacart app and shop today.
- [00:29]
Bob the Drag Queen
Close your eyes.
- [00:30]
Instacart Narrator
Exhale.
- [00:31]
Jacob
Feel your body relax, and let go
- [00:34]
Bob the Drag Queen
of whatever you're carrying today.
- [00:37]
Instacart Narrator
Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.
- [00:45]
Monet x Change
And breathe.
- [00:46]
Instacart Narrator
Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.
- [00:54]
Bob the Drag Queen
Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order, 1-800-contacts.
- [01:00]
Monet x Change
My name is Bob the Drag Queen,
- [01:01]
Jacob
and I'm Monet x Change.
- [01:03]
Monet x Change
And this is sibling rivalry. On today's episode, Monet announces that we're going on tour, but we are not.
- [01:27]
Bob the Drag Queen
We find out if we're smarter than
- [01:29]
Monet x Change
fifth graders, and we find out what made Monet say this.
- [01:32]
Bob the Drag Queen
Me and Andy just broke up, Colleen ran away, and Patty misses Flight too, so he's not there with me either, and I'm just a mess. And we find out what made Bob the Drag Queen say this.
- [01:43]
Monet x Change
And no, I will not let you regulate how I move my body during the game. No, you don't get to regulate that. I'm setting Boundari. So today, Monat posted an ad for our tour.
- [01:55]
Bob the Drag Queen
An old ad. We posted it. Girl, this video is, like, six years old. We made this, like, 2018.
- [02:02]
Monet x Change
So today, Monat posted an ad for the tour. She posted this ad, and she's a super queen. She's a super queen. And then Monet, then all the comments. Because the video is literally like being like, we're going on tour. Go to. Go to bobmona.com and get your tickets right now. We're going on tour. I was like, monet, everyone thinks we're going to. She goes, no, they don't. And I was like, do you read the comments? She goes, no, I don't.
- [02:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't read the comments.
- [02:27]
Monet x Change
And all the comments are like, yes. I'm so excited. Can't wait to see you guys in Austin. Please come back to Canada. This is brilliant.
- [02:36]
Bob the Drag Queen
I deleted it.
- [02:37]
Monet x Change
I know, but just. Gavin, you were just like, why would people think we're going on tour? All I did was post an ad literally saying, we're going on tour.
- [02:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
Nigga, why do you think we going on tour?
- [02:48]
Monet x Change
I don't think we're going on tour. I think it's weird that you post that we're going on tour, but I don't think that we're going on tour, though.
- [02:54]
Bob the Drag Queen
Hi, Bob.
- [02:55]
Monet x Change
Hello.
- [02:56]
Bob the Drag Queen
How you doing?
- [02:58]
Monet x Change
Um, I'm well. I, I, I ran a lot of errands today.
- [03:01]
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you, did, did you like being back at home first for a little bit?
- [03:05]
Monet x Change
Yeah, I'm happy to be home.
- [03:06]
Jacob
Yeah.
- [03:07]
Monet x Change
I am happy to be home, actually. Um, is my, is my volume low?
- [03:12]
Bob the Drag Queen
It doesn't sound like it low to me. So right before Bob was leaving to go away, when he was leaving for Madonna, myself and Andy went over to him and Jacob's house. And then Bob was like, andy, I have a proposition for you. Like, I'm leaving town, and I would like to entrust my car with someone to make sure it doesn't to keep, like, to drive it. So my car is not just sitting here. Cause it was gonna be at that point, it was gonna be there for what, a year? Almost.
- [03:43]
Monet x Change
No. Nine months.
- [03:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
Ten months. Nine months just sitting idly. And then, and then I was like, I was like, Bob. I was like, rich.
- [03:52]
Monet x Change
Andy.
- [03:53]
Bob the Drag Queen
Andy. Andy is, Andy is not an aggressive driver, but he's not a docile driver either. Like, Andy is like, Andy's not as have a driver that you would like.
- [04:06]
Monet x Change
Monet said Andy's a bad driver. Monet's cleaning it up.
- [04:10]
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think Andy's a bad driver. He's a little aggressive. And you, Bob, when I say we did a whole podcast about driving, Bob is very. Bob drives at hands 10 and 2. Bob is very cautious. Bob is not speeding, and he is not anything.
- [04:23]
Monet x Change
But I'm, I'm not a timid driver, though. I'm not like a timid driver. I just, I just also, I don't drive at 10 and 2. I do not hold the steering wheel at 10 and 2.
- [04:32]
Bob the Drag Queen
Jacob, can you please come in and say something?
- [04:39]
Jacob
I want to be fully real. I have no recollection of how Caldwell holds the, the wheel when he drives. That is not something that I ever have paid attention to. And I, I, I do not remember, but I will, I remember. I Guess I have videos of him driving that I'll look for on my phone to see.
- [04:57]
Bob the Drag Queen
But yeah, roll that beautiful bean footage.
- [05:03]
Monet x Change
But anyway, but I, but I do follow the, the, I was actually just talking on the phone about how much I really hate when people bring break the law when they drive and brag about it. I, I really don't think it's funny.
- [05:16]
Bob the Drag Queen
Like what, like, who's bragging about it?
- [05:18]
Monet x Change
Like speed. Like, like when someone goes, oh, it's, it's about a one hour drive, I can get there in 30 minutes. Why is that funny? Because you're speeding through town and putting people's lives in danger. Like, I don't get what's funny about that.
- [05:30]
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think people, I, I, I, I never heard anyone like have that reaction like, I'm speeding, I'm breaking the law. Ha ha ha. It's more so like for example, for when you're driving on a highway, yes, the speed limit is 55 miles per hour, but you're allowed up to 65. So most people, instead of 55, they're going like 65 or 60, 65. So you can usually get to your place faster than the allotted time. That it's saying.
- [05:52]
Monet x Change
So that's not actually a true statement. What you're, what you just said.
- [05:57]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, okay, it's not like it's not the, it's not legally that way, but, but it is, what's the, what's the verbiage I'm looking for? It is common practice and you will not, nine times out of 10, you won't get pulled over. If you're going just five minutes over the speed limit. That is, that's common knowledge.
- [06:13]
Monet x Change
You just said more than five. You said, you said the speed limit is 55 or 50. Which one did you say?
- [06:18]
Bob the Drag Queen
I said 55. So if you're going like 60 or 65, you know, most, you're not going to get pulled over, most likely.
- [06:24]
Monet x Change
Well, I want, I want to advise all of you to not take that advice from Monet. I think that what you, what if you go anywhere and anything, any traffic law, they will say you should a few, I don't want you to be like, well, Monet said I could do 10 over. You should, you should drive the speed limited and if you are driving one mile over the speed limit, they can give you a ticket and they can prove that you are one mile over the speed limit, they will make you pay it.
- [06:50]
Bob the Drag Queen
We agree. Again, I'm not saying that that's not true. I'm Saying most likely you won't. For example, just like we know you have three lanes on a highway. Not three, some have five. Whatever it is. But it is, it is not a rule that the most. That the furthest left lane is a passing lane. Yes, it is.
- [07:05]
Monet x Change
You can't pass on the right. That is a law. That is literally a law.
- [07:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
But yeah, but the left lane is not the passing lane.
- [07:11]
Monet x Change
No, you have to pass on the left. That is a law. That is a rule. That is an actual right.
- [07:15]
Bob the Drag Queen
You can pass on the left, but the left lane is not the passing lane. Like, for example, the middle lane is left of the middle of the right lane. But that's still a passing lane. But like you might be losing my train of thought.
- [07:30]
Monet x Change
What I'm saying is you always pass on the left. You're not legally allowed to pass on the right.
- [07:33]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that's. That, that, that.
- [07:34]
Monet x Change
So the left is a passing lane. Every left is more of a passing lane than the lane before it.
- [07:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
But that's true of anything. So if you're on the, if you're on the right lane, the middle name is the passing lane. I'm saying the furthest left lane is known as the fast lane or the passing lane. Like that is like common knowledge. It's not like the. It's not a rule that everybody is a passing lane.
- [07:55]
Monet x Change
The left lane is the fastest lane. This is, These are rules. The left lane is the fastest lane because it is the passing lane and you pass on the left. That is literally a law and a rule.
- [08:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think that. I don't think you're right.
- [08:07]
Monet x Change
You can't pass on the right one.
- [08:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
Eh? Not on the highway. I know you cannot pass on the right. This is a semantical argument. I know you cannot pass on the right. I'm saying if you're looking in a traffic book, you're going to study your test. The name of the leftist or the further left lane. The furthest left lane is not the fast lane. It's not the passing lane. Yes, it's common knowledge, you know. Yes, it's a rule that you pass on the left. But the first. I'm saying the name of the furthest left lane is not the fast lane or the.
- [08:35]
Monet x Change
Well, I think it also depends on where you are. Is it the HOV lane? It'll probably call the HOV lane.
- [08:42]
Jacob
All right. This is progressivecarinsurance.com though many people think of the left lane on a multi lane highway as the fast lane, it is more correctly known as the Passing lane for two reasons. First, speed limit applies equally in all lanes, so left lane drivers aren't allowed to speed just because they're in the left lane.
- [09:03]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, right. It's not called the fast lane, it's
- [09:08]
Monet x Change
the passing lane, apparently. Anyway, the point is, I don't. I really don't. Whenever people say stuff like, I can get there in 30 as a joke, I don't think it's funny. I think it's really dangerous. And I was just thinking about how cars are really, truly the most dangerous weapon in the world and we literally let 16 year olds drive them. This is insane. Like, you can't even. You can't even watch a dirty movie. And you were out here driving the most dangerous weapon in the world wielding.
- [09:38]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, it's so crazy how you can't. I was listening to. Whose podcast was it? Chelsea Handler's podcast, and she brought up a really good point. How you can't. Fuck, I forgot. It's something you cannot do until you're. Until you're 18. But with guns. I'm fucking it up. I don't remember the thing. I'm sure I'll remember it and it'll come to me. But I was like, oh, my God, I never thought about how dangerous this thing is. But yet you can do it before you're 18. It wasn't driving, it was something else. I was like, oh, shit, yeah, this country is fucking with guns in this world. It was, yeah, it was saying that you can have. You can buy a gun at 18, but you can't do this thing. And it wasn't driving. It wasn't smoking. It was something else anyway. But there are like, there are a lot of things like that I think about. I'm like, oh, I can do this thing now, but I can't even do this thing when I'm eight. I can do this thing before 18. They're like a lot of things I've had that epiphany about that, thought about. I'm like, sometimes society makes no fucking sense how it is structured. Like, things like that.
- [10:38]
Monet x Change
I wish that driving safely was more. What's the word I'm looking for? Like, accepted and like, I wish it was more frowned upon to drive. To drive recklessly. Like, way more frowned upon than it is. My uncle was driving my other uncle to my brother's wedding. And when my uncle showed up, he was very upset. Like, he was very upset.
- [11:04]
Bob the Drag Queen
Gotti.
- [11:05]
Monet x Change
No, Uncle Steve was being driven by my uncle Ray and Uncle Steve was very upset. And we were like, what's going on? He was like, Ray was driving like a maniac. Like, he was driving like a maniac. And he was like, I. I. Like, he was like, my heart is literally like, I don't feel well. This is my oldest uncle. He's the patriarch of our family. He's like, I really don't feel well. Like, I cannot believe he just did that. My Uncle Ray was, like, laughing, and I was like, I don't think that's funny. I'm with Uncle Steve. Like, why would you drive like that? Like, why would you do that?
- [11:37]
Bob the Drag Queen
I never heard you talk about your Uncle Ray. Is he your mother's another brother of your mother?
- [11:41]
Monet x Change
Yes. My mother has eight siblings.
- [11:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, yeah. I don't think I knew that.
- [11:46]
Monet x Change
My Uncle Ray, my Uncle Steve, my Uncle Scotty, my Uncle Jon Jon.
- [11:50]
Bob the Drag Queen
Where does your mom fall in at?
- [11:52]
Monet x Change
My mother is the third oldest.
- [11:55]
Bob the Drag Queen
Third oldest. Who's the oldest?
- [11:56]
Monet x Change
My Aunt Hazel is the oldest. Yes. And then my Uncle Steve and then my mother.
- [12:03]
Bob the Drag Queen
There was Steve and Kesha and Martha
- [12:06]
Monet x Change
and Steve and Stephanie and Hazel and John and Scotty and all the other ones.
- [12:16]
Bob the Drag Queen
And are you. Does your mom have the most kids?
- [12:19]
Monet x Change
No. No, My mom has two kids. My Lisa has three kids. So I guess my Aunt Lisa has the most kids.
- [12:25]
Jacob
Yeah.
- [12:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, you must really have that family reunion that I've never been invited to. Must be popping. There's probably so many of you guys.
- [12:34]
Monet x Change
Yeah, but my mother has invited you over the phone right to your face.
- [12:38]
Bob the Drag Queen
But you and I are supposed to go together.
- [12:40]
Monet x Change
My mother also said you can come without me. She said that right to your face, too. So you have been invited. Actually. That'll be.
- [12:46]
Bob the Drag Queen
So we're to go to your family reunion without you? They'll be like, what this?
- [12:49]
Instacart Narrator
What this?
- [12:49]
Bob the Drag Queen
What the fuck this nigga doing here?
- [12:52]
Monet x Change
That would not be my family's response. And maybe that would be your family's response to me. My family wouldn't even. They wouldn't even think it was weird. They'd be like, oh, this is Monet. This is. This is Chris's friend. And they would accept.
- [13:03]
Bob the Drag Queen
You can't even keep us straight.
- [13:04]
Instacart Narrator
You.
- [13:04]
Monet x Change
You.
- [13:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
You just like these. These wishy washy fans. You can't even keep us straight.
- [13:08]
Monet x Change
My mother. No one in the family would treat you weird if Jacob went to my family reunion without me. No one would even look. No one would think anything twice about it.
- [13:14]
Bob the Drag Queen
If Jacob is your partner. That's different.
- [13:17]
Monet x Change
I'm just telling you. Money. I'm just telling you. I know how my family accident if you went down there without me, no one, literally, they'd say, who? Someone might ask, who is this? And then my mother would go, this is Chris's best friend. And then everyone would be like, all right. And then the rest would just be. It would just be what it is, and there would be no questions. That would get you a bed in a room and a plate, and you'd be hanging out.
- [13:38]
Bob the Drag Queen
Is me. I would feel weird. It's not about your family. It's me. I would feel weird not doing it. They're going there without you.
- [13:43]
Monet x Change
That's a nice amendment, because at first you were like. They'd be like, who the is this? I'm like, oh, my.
- [13:47]
Bob the Drag Queen
Say all that. I was being. I was. I, I. Obviously, I know your mom would be like, who the is, Kevin? Duh.
- [13:53]
Monet x Change
But they wouldn't say anything. They wouldn't be. They would, they wouldn't be. They would just be like, oh, hey, once, Once my mom introduced you, they'd be like, oh, okay. But you've. Have. You have been invited. And you. And the. And the invitation is extended still.
- [14:04]
Bob the Drag Queen
I, I, you're invited to St. Lucia. My mom on that phone that time, my mom would ask, when you coming down?
- [14:09]
Monet x Change
I don't know that that happened. That I don't remember.
- [14:12]
Bob the Drag Queen
She did. And you, like. And you. Your response was, well, Kevin. Kevin doesn't want me to come down. Or Monet doesn't. Monet. Something you said that is.
- [14:21]
Jacob
I think we have a recording of that in the podcast.
- [14:23]
Bob the Drag Queen
We sure do. It was on the one when we. Do you know what episode it was, Roberta?
- [14:26]
Monet x Change
No. Do you?
- [14:28]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes. The one when we did the relationship test. The one we were sitting on your couch.
- [14:31]
Jacob
The one where he fell in love.
- [14:33]
Bob the Drag Queen
Falling in love. That's the one.
- [14:34]
Monet x Change
Oh, yeah. Well, now I have an invite from your mother. Maybe I'll go visit St. Lucia.
- [14:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
Without me?
- [14:42]
Monet x Change
I don't know. Would your mother be okay with that?
- [14:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
She would agree with it, yeah.
- [14:46]
Monet x Change
Then maybe I will one day. I mean, she invited me before you did, so.
- [14:52]
Bob the Drag Queen
That's not true.
- [14:54]
Monet x Change
You know that's true.
- [14:55]
Bob the Drag Queen
That's not true. I never invited you to St. Lucia, Bob.
- [14:59]
Monet x Change
No, your mother invited me. I think you invited me after. I think even on the phone call, I was like, well, well, Kevin never invited me before. And then you were. And then I can't remember. I mean, I don't remember the full conversation. I don't remember what I. What. What I said verbatim on the call.
- [15:17]
Bob the Drag Queen
Look. Look at your little clavicles. She's she is giving 945Amsterdam.
- [15:24]
Monet x Change
Thank you.
- [15:27]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, you look, you look, you look very with your backwards hat. And I'm Tank. You look very, like, young, very sprightly.
- [15:36]
Monet x Change
Okay, I, I will accept that as a compliment. You know, I think I told you a while back, I told one of the guys who worked on We're Here. This, this one, I stopped doing that. I'm not, I'm not saying anything about you, but it just reminded me of something. And this is another rule that peppermint has too. And I was like, maybe I should adopt this in my life. Is that I, I, I try not to give people compliments, like, on their bodies, unless they have reached a goal that I know they were going for. I'll tell you more about it when I get.
- [16:10]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, let's take a break. I was talking about more about it when it comes.
- [16:20]
Monet x Change
I told, I told him, I was like, you look, you look. You awesome way. You look good. And he was like, I'm depressed. And I went through a little stint last year where I was depressed and I lost quite a bit of weight because I was, I just couldn't eat. And I was like, oof, I'm depressed. I gained it back. I found it. I lost it, but I found was. It was, it was, it was right. The weight was right where I left it. I'll put it to you that way. I didn't have to look. I didn't have to look very far, that's for sure.
- [16:49]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I have been on, I mean, we talk about it, about it, the podcast, many times. I've been forever on a. I've been on a weight loss journey since I was in the sixth grade. I think again, we, we don't need to go down this rabbit hole. But last thing I'm gonna say, like, the last time, the first time I remember being conscious about my body size and weight was like the sixth grade. You know, that's when you, like, first going to middle school and you like, seeing, like, you know, I, I don't know, you're just more aware of, like, your body and your hormones and whatever that is. And I was just like, oh, wow, I'm a fat little kid. Before then, bitch, I was just happy. I was happy eating. I would get food. I would dance at the table. Food brought me so much joy. I was happy. I was a dancing little kid. I used to dance with food all the time. This is a fat, chubby little kid dancing.
- [17:35]
Monet x Change
I was called fat as a kid, but it didn't really Affect me, because by the time I was at an age where people were really thinking about it, in seventh grade, I was so skinny. I was insanely skinny in seventh grade. I don't know what had happened. The first time I really was aware of my size in a negative way was pretty probably like 34. 34 years old. First time I was aware, like, my body in, like, a negative way was probably like 34 years old.
- [18:02]
Bob the Drag Queen
So you were skinny from seventh grade
- [18:04]
Monet x Change
until 34 until, like, maybe like 32 or 33.
- [18:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
- [18:09]
Monet x Change
Like, I started gaining weight when I got back from Berkeley.
- [18:14]
Bob the Drag Queen
Got it.
- [18:14]
Monet x Change
And. Well, it was because everyone on the Internet started being like, you look bigger than you were on. On Drag Race. And I was like, I am bigger than I was in Drag race. I'm about 60 pounds heavier than I was on Drag Race. So, yes, I am bigger than I was before.
- [18:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
The funny thing that you do that is still. It's still funny to me. You always just be saying something that you will lift up your shirt and you will grab yourself and you just. You be like, oh, this right here.
- [18:41]
Monet x Change
Uhhuh.
- [18:48]
Bob the Drag Queen
It's like somebody's uncle.
- [18:50]
Monet x Change
I am somebody's uncle.
- [18:52]
Bob the Drag Queen
I know, I know. Roberta.
- [18:54]
Monet x Change
Yes.
- [18:55]
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think you is smarter than a fifth grader?
- [18:58]
Monet x Change
I mean, I think it depends on the fifth grader. The average fifth grader, probably. Yeah.
- [19:03]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I have some friends.
- [19:04]
Monet x Change
How do you quantify smart? I think I have more. I think I have more knowledge than the average.
- [19:09]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, you have more life experience, for sure. And you've been you. Yeah, but I mean, I have friends that have kids and, like, apparently. And not just friends with kids. I've heard this online, too. Like, the math that they teach these days in school is just so different from what, like, we learned in school. Like, I just don't understand how math. Yes, it's like different math. Like, this is like a. Parents around the world, well, around the States, know this. The math is just different. They teach it different.
- [19:38]
Monet x Change
Like, how's it different? What's different with the math?
- [19:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't.
- [19:42]
Monet x Change
Math is changing.
- [19:43]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, Math is changing. It's like a thing. It's like a thing parents be like, which I can't even help this kid with this, with this, with this, because I don't know how to do it. Before, like, you do like, 12 plus 7, you know, equals 19. Now it's like. And you would do like, 7 plus 2 equals 9. You bring down to 1. Now it's something like, okay, 7. It's like a roundabout way that's supposed to be easier to make you arrive at the same answer. It's like different math. Apparently I don't have kids, so I don't fucking know.
- [20:11]
Monet x Change
So you're saying the, the, the, the, the process is, is, is. Yeah, the process is different, but the, but the results are the same.
- [20:18]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, the results are the same. The process is just different.
- [20:21]
Monet x Change
Interesting. I mean, I, I, I obviously have not been, I graduated high school, Have not been in middle school for 25 years. No, 20, 24 years. Yeah, obviously I'm not good at math.
- [20:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it'll be 23 if 19 plus 4. 23, 22, whatever.
- [20:49]
Monet x Change
I haven't been in high school since. I've been in high school for a middle school for a very long time. So, you know, middle school math is definitely beyond me. And I, I, I, I didn't take math every year in high school. I think I, well, I had to repeat one because I failed algebra one. I had to repeat algebra one.
- [21:09]
Bob the Drag Queen
But you don't, you don't take. I, I feel like math and like, and like English was the ones you take every year. Math, English and social studies.
- [21:15]
Monet x Change
No, in Georgia at the time. I don't know how it is now you only have to take three years of math.
- [21:22]
Bob the Drag Queen
That's, that's, that's, that's.
- [21:23]
Monet x Change
I ended up taking four years of math because I had to redo algebra 1.
- [21:27]
Bob the Drag Queen
Algebra 1.
- [21:29]
Monet x Change
I also used to have it out with my, me and my teacher. We had it out like she was. I know people say that you should have it out for them, but that teacher, I really felt like that lady had it out for me.
- [21:38]
Bob the Drag Queen
What academic classes did you like? Like, outside of, like, were they outside of obviously, you know, what were the academic ones that you like?
- [21:44]
Monet x Change
Well, I always love language arts and you know, reading it is language arts.
- [21:48]
Bob the Drag Queen
What the is that? That's just English, right?
- [21:49]
Monet x Change
I think it is. It's like reading. It's English is syntax, it's poetry.
- [21:59]
Bob the Drag Queen
It is language arts. They better put arts in front of it. Make it, just make that sound better,
- [22:04]
Monet x Change
maybe encompass it all. So when you study like poetry and like prose and you know, epic poems, stuff like that is, and, but then also studying like grammar as well, and that's not English. Yeah, but, but I think when you refer to as language arts, it goes into like poetry and stuff too, because you, you can talk about poems. It doesn't have to be in English. You can do like, you can do like a poem in Spanish or a poem or, or poems that have been translated into English or stuff like that.
- [22:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I'm starting to look like, what exactly? The language art. Like, I remember. I don't remember when it transitioned from. From language arts. I feel like language arts was, like, in little smaller grades. In high school I had English, but I feel like in. But I feel like in, like, middle school, it was language arts. And when I transitioned to high school, it became English class, and I was
- [22:59]
Monet x Change
like, oh, yeah, I remember when I got to high school, the classes were much more specific. Like. Like. Like in. Like, in middle school you took math, and in high school you took algebra one. Geometry, trigonometry. And in middle school. And in middle school it was like, take math. You know what I mean?
- [23:18]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, we'd like to ask me what. What, like, what academic classes I liked.
- [23:23]
Monet x Change
Yeah, what classes did you like?
- [23:25]
Bob the Drag Queen
I really enjoyed social studies. I liked learning about history and shit. And I feel like social studies was like. Social studies and math to me were the easiest study classes to just to study for. And I've always been a good test taker, which is so weird because I don't have a good memory. So I don't know why I was a good test taker because I really bad remembering stuff. But I feel like social studies and math just felt so practical to me. Like, math, there was only one way. Well, apparently there was 12 fucking ways, because there's new math, there's only one. There's like a. Like a. An easy way to get to the answer. And social studies, there's one answer. Yeah, there's one answer. And social studies, there was typically one answer, too. Where English, it wasn't that. And I had a hard time with that. I'm like, bitch, one plus one will always be two. Whereas I'm doing this essay. It's kind of up to your discretion, you know. I mean, sure, there are certain benchmarks you have to hit to get the thing, but it's kind of like you're kind of like, you know, judging me on how you think, you know, I did based on your rubric. As opposed to math, one plus one will always fucking be two. Fucking. The fucking World War I started because of the assassin, the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, period. Like, you can't change that.
- [24:34]
Monet x Change
You know, I feel like when I was in English class, I don't remember, it was so long ago, but I feel like I was being graded on, like, grammar and sentence structure and punctuation for sure. And I remember we had this one. We studied poetry for, like a month or two, and we had to write a bunch of poems. Like we have to write a sauna. You have to write a haiku. You have to write a little epic. You have to write an epic poem. I don't think is this. I don't think it's soliloquy is a poem. I think it's a little quiz. Like a monologue. I think.
- [25:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, yeah.
- [25:07]
Monet x Change
No, I think. I think a soliloquy is a monologue. I think a soliloquy is when you're just thinking to yourself. Like whenever you think to yourself on stage or in a book. It's a soliloquy.
- [25:17]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. An acting one's thoughts allowed. A soliloquy is renowned, an act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers. Especially by a character in a play.
- [25:28]
Monet x Change
Yeah.
- [25:29]
Bob the Drag Queen
Good job on that, girl.
- [25:32]
Monet x Change
Thank you. I don't know how many more of those I can do if you keep throwing out. Well, we're about to find out. How are you at trivia?
- [25:38]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, yeah. Today. Wait, what?
- [25:41]
Monet x Change
How are you at trivia?
- [25:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
God bless you. Thank you. I think. I don't know again. I'm a good test sticker. You know those bars that do like trivia? Well, I'm only really sitting on Fire Island. Like Ariel Sinclair hosts trivia by the pool. But I know bars host trivia, but I've never played trivia in like a competitive way or whatever.
- [26:05]
Monet x Change
I don't.
- [26:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know how good I am.
- [26:06]
Monet x Change
I love trivia. I do. I do it most. On TikTok, there's this guy named. I don't know his name actually, but he also TikTok 10. And then I went and did trivia with Jacob and his friends maybe like four months ago, maybe.
- [26:23]
Bob the Drag Queen
We're going to play Are youe Spotted in a fifth Grader? Jacob is going to ask us fifth grade questions and we're going to respond. Jacob, do we have to write the answers down? Do we need a pen and paper
- [26:31]
Jacob
or no, I don't think you need a pen and paper. I think the one thing we need to decide is how you want to do it. Do you want to take turns answering and get different questions or am I giving you a question? It's whoever knows the answer first.
- [26:43]
Monet x Change
Let's take turns with the option to steal.
- [26:46]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
- [26:47]
Monet x Change
Okay. So if you get it right, it's two points. But if you steal it, you only get one point.
- [26:53]
Jacob
Sounds great.
- [26:53]
Monet x Change
Or do one. Or vice versa. If you get your question right, it's one point. If you steal it, it's two Points.
- [26:58]
Bob the Drag Queen
I like that. That's a little. That's a little more savage.
- [27:01]
Jacob
All right, so we're gonna start with Bob the Drag Queen.
- [27:04]
Bob the Drag Queen
Why he gets to go first? Because that's your damn boyfriend. Because that's your man.
- [27:09]
Jacob
We can go first if you'd like.
- [27:11]
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank you. I would like.
- [27:12]
Monet x Change
We'll flip a coin. Monet does not get to decide. We'll flip a coin or do a randomizer. Monet's not gonna just bully us into doing it her way. Hell, coin flip.
- [27:23]
Jacob
Yeah.
- [27:23]
Monet x Change
And I call it.
- [27:25]
Jacob
And I'm. I'm just gonna screen share the digital coin flip with both of you.
- [27:29]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Because I know. I know what the y' all got going on over there. It's gonna be good. I want head.
- [27:38]
Jacob
All right.
- [27:42]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Are you happy, Bob?
- [27:46]
Monet x Change
I am happy. That seems fair.
- [27:48]
Jacob
Yeah.
- [27:48]
Bob the Drag Queen
So the coin was flipped. Everyone just give you out of the. Play by play. And it landed on heads.
- [27:54]
Jacob
All right, Monet, to start, what year did World War II end?
- [28:01]
Bob the Drag Queen
World War II ended in 1945.
- [28:05]
Jacob
That is correct. So we're gonna give 1.2.
- [28:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Fix your face. Because I was correct. Yeah, fix your little face. Is there. Yes. 1945, honey.
- [28:18]
Jacob
Yeah, that's correct,
- [28:21]
Monet x Change
Bob.
- [28:22]
Jacob
The Tropic of Capricorn lies in which hemisphere?
- [28:31]
Monet x Change
The Tropic of Capricorn lies in which hemisphere? No, I have to answer the question first. The Tropic of Capricorn lies in. I mean, I don't even know the names of the hemisphere. Is it the Western hemisphere?
- [28:49]
Jacob
Monday? Would you like a chance to steal?
- [28:51]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, I would like the Northern Hemisphere.
- [28:54]
Jacob
Okay. It is not correct for either of you. It is the Southern Hemisphere.
- [28:58]
Bob the Drag Queen
That's what I meant. The opposite of north.
- [29:01]
Monet x Change
What are the hemispheres in? East, North, West, South?
- [29:03]
Bob the Drag Queen
East, South. Yes.
- [29:05]
Monet x Change
Oh, okay. Work.
- [29:07]
Bob the Drag Queen
Not the names.
- [29:11]
Monet x Change
So we're one zero.
- [29:15]
Jacob
All right, Monet, what are the large rocks that orbit the sun between Mars and Jupiter called?
- [29:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
The large rocks that orbit the sun between where?
- [29:31]
Jacob
Mars and Jupiter.
- [29:34]
Bob the Drag Queen
Um, they are meteors.
- [29:42]
Monet x Change
I would like to steal this.
- [29:46]
Jacob
All right,
- [29:52]
Bob the Drag Queen
Bob, what are you doing?
- [29:53]
Monet x Change
Wait. Between Mars and Jupiter.
- [29:56]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, why are you looking down? What are you looking at?
- [29:59]
Monet x Change
Hold on,
- [30:06]
Bob the Drag Queen
Y'.
- [30:07]
Monet x Change
All.
- [30:07]
Bob the Drag Queen
This is so shady. He was looking down at his hand. Now he not his eyes closed, and now all of a sudden, he needs to concentrate. I don't trust him.
- [30:17]
Monet x Change
Is it the. Are we talking about the. The belt or the actual planets? That's the question.
- [30:24]
Bob the Drag Queen
You cannot get critical advocate. That's the question.
- [30:28]
Monet x Change
Mars and Jupiter. I'm gonna call it the The. I'm gonna say the. The asteroid belt, you know, it said asteroids. That.
- [30:37]
Jacob
I'll give you that. That's correct,
- [30:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
yeah. Okay, Bob, why were you looking down money?
- [30:44]
Monet x Change
I wasn't cheating. You have to just move on and accept it.
- [30:48]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, can you please keep your eyes on the camera? Because this.
- [30:50]
Monet x Change
This. Tell me.
- [30:51]
Bob the Drag Queen
Tell me how this looked to you.
- [30:54]
Monet x Change
It looks like someone's thinking and. No, I will not let you regulate how I move my body during the game. No, you don't get to regulate that. I'm setting boundaries.
- [31:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
Boundaries, my fucking nuts to your fucking navel.
- [31:08]
Monet x Change
I have two points and you have one. And I'm about to get another one.
- [31:16]
Bob the Drag Queen
I started Ornad in 2013, and we make bike apparel.
- [31:20]
Jacob
The best part of Shopify for me
- [31:22]
Bob the Drag Queen
is our ability to run the business as essentially non technical people. We're able to admin everything on the back end, front end, and sell things online easily. If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing that you do the thing on. We run the business on Shopify. Start your free trial on shopify.com.
- [31:46]
Jacob
between 1 and 100, how many multiples of 7 are odd numbers?
- [31:54]
Bob the Drag Queen
Between 1 and 100, how many Multiples of 7 are odd numbers?
- [32:00]
Jacob
Yes.
- [32:01]
Monet x Change
Why are you looking to the side? Why are you looking over there? Why are you using your fingers? Jacob, why is she doing that? I don't want Monet to be able to use her fingers. She has the answers written on the inside of her hands. Show us the inside of your fingers, Monet. Turn your hand to the out so we can see the inside of your fingers. Monet, do your hand like this. I want to see your hand like this so I know that you're not doing a thing on the inside of your hand.
- [32:27]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh. Five.
- [32:31]
Jacob
The answer. Oh, sorry, Bob, do you want to steal 7?
- [32:36]
Monet x Change
21. Not 28. Not 2. 7 and 21. 7 and 21.
- [32:48]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it's 6.
- [32:49]
Monet x Change
How many is it? What's the answer?
- [32:50]
Jacob
How many? It's.
- [32:52]
Monet x Change
It's.
- [32:52]
Jacob
How many are odd numbers?
- [32:53]
Monet x Change
Yeah, how many?
- [32:56]
Jacob
Six, seven.
- [32:57]
Monet x Change
Oh, work.
- [32:59]
Bob the Drag Queen
There it is.
- [33:05]
Monet x Change
All right. This.
- [33:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
My God, we're dumb.
- [33:09]
Jacob
Okay. What? Monet, what is my turn? Oh, it's. Sorry, I'm. It's confusing because we keep skipping, not stealing.
- [33:24]
Instacart Narrator
Yeah.
- [33:24]
Bob the Drag Queen
How does it feel to have the sneaky ass boyfriend on my side? How does it feel for a change, Jacob?
- [33:28]
Monet x Change
Go. Jacob, I respect you and I don't think you're stinky. Go ahead, Jacob.
- [33:32]
Jacob
Bob, what is a marsupial oh, marsupial
- [33:35]
Monet x Change
is a mammal that has a pouch.
- [33:39]
Bob the Drag Queen
That's too easy.
- [33:42]
Jacob
Okay, Monet, I'll give you another one. An easy one as well. Monet, the ancient Egyptian empire was based on what continent?
- [33:52]
Monet x Change
Africa.
- [33:53]
Jacob
That's correct.
- [33:54]
Monet x Change
Okay, this is getting easy one, too.
- [33:56]
Jacob
Okay, okay.
- [34:01]
Monet x Change
Right. Jacob's like, the ancient Egyptian empire is in what country? When it's like.
- [34:08]
Jacob
In order to foster some work conversation and make this a little more dynamic, I'm hoping you can answer this next question together and talk it over.
- [34:17]
Bob the Drag Queen
How do we.
- [34:17]
Monet x Change
How do we. We need to figure out a point system, because right now I'm winning.
- [34:21]
Bob the Drag Queen
How many you have?
- [34:22]
Monet x Change
I have three points, and you have two.
- [34:25]
Jacob
Well, we're doing two points for a stolen question, so Bob actually has four points.
- [34:30]
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, what?
- [34:32]
Monet x Change
No, but I didn't. I didn't. I didn't steal the. I didn't. I didn't steal the. The. The seven question.
- [34:39]
Bob the Drag Queen
Jacob has three.
- [34:42]
Jacob
Okay, this is to work on together.
- [34:44]
Monet x Change
But how. What's the point system for this one? This. This is just.
- [34:47]
Jacob
Can we pause? I feel like now that we're actually doing this, it feels like a little bit slow, and I don't know how interesting will be. So I'm hoping that we talk more instead of just answering trivia questions for the next 30 minutes. So I think if we work on answering questions together, then that might make this a little bit more.
- [35:06]
Monet x Change
So we just agree that. I wonder, because I have the most points, we can just move on.
- [35:09]
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm not agreeing to that, but we're good. We'll move on. But I have more points than that at the end. We'll do one final question at the end to determine who.
- [35:16]
Monet x Change
Also you.
- [35:17]
Jacob
You're.
- [35:17]
Monet x Change
And you. Now you decide the rules, too. This is crazy. You just want. You want to decide who goes first, you want to decide what I'm allowed to do, and you want to decide how the game ends. This is insane. I will not let. No, I know. I will. I do not agree to your terms at all. I do not agree to your terms.
- [35:34]
Bob the Drag Queen
Bob, I'm on your. I'm on your team. I'm on your side, baby. I'm on your side. Honey.
- [35:38]
Monet x Change
Honey, you're not nationwide, ok?
- [35:42]
Bob the Drag Queen
Like Candy Barrett's bitch.
- [35:43]
Monet x Change
I'm worldwide, all right?
- [35:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
Jacob, did you hear about Nene Leakes son? Nene Leakes son got arrested and he tried to pretend to be the older brother.
- [35:52]
Monet x Change
Wait, what?
- [35:53]
Bob the Drag Queen
Nene Leakes son got arrested for doing something, and he tried to pass himself off as the older brother. It's like, a whole thing. Her kids.
- [36:02]
Monet x Change
I have not heard about that at all.
- [36:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it sucks. It sucks. Anyway, Jacob, what's this next question? We do it together.
- [36:09]
Jacob
Okay. If a car is traveling.
- [36:12]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, God.
- [36:12]
Jacob
At forty miles per hour, how long will it take to go one hundred ninety miles?
- [36:20]
Bob the Drag Queen
I never get these.
- [36:21]
Monet x Change
Okay, so it's one hundred ninety divided by forty. So forty, eighty. And then times four is one hundred and sixty.
- [36:30]
Bob the Drag Queen
One hundred and twenty.
- [36:31]
Monet x Change
So we're at four out. We're at four hours to go one hundred and eighty miles, and then we need to go another ten miles.
- [36:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- [36:42]
Monet x Change
Forty miles an hour. So in one hour, it goes forty miles, and then in two hours, it goes eighty miles. In three hours, it goes one, one. One twenty. And then in another hour, it goes one hundred and sixty. So that's. Right. So that's why I said four hours. It goes one hundred and sixty, and
- [36:59]
Bob the Drag Queen
now one hundred eighty.
- [37:00]
Monet x Change
How far do you want. How far do you want to go, Jacob?
- [37:03]
Jacob
190.
- [37:04]
Monet x Change
So we need to go an additional. We're at 180.
- [37:07]
Bob the Drag Queen
30 miles.
- [37:08]
Monet x Change
We need to go an additional. No, we're. Wait.
- [37:10]
Bob the Drag Queen
We're at 41 60.
- [37:12]
Monet x Change
We're 160. We need to go an additional 30 miles. And in. In. In one hour, it travels. So you basically want to divide the hour into quarters and then shave off one of the quarters. All right, so in 15 minutes. So if the. If the car travels. The car is traveling five miles every 15 minutes. Wait, 40 miles an hour. 40 divided by two is 20. Yeah, the tr. The car is traveling. No, 10 miles. The car is traveling 10 miles every 15 minutes.
- [37:49]
Bob the Drag Queen
It would say 4.7 miles.
- [37:51]
Monet x Change
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you just say stuff, It's. It's. It's 4.75 miles set. 4.75 hours.
- [38:02]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
- [38:03]
Monet x Change
Not 0.7.
- [38:05]
Bob the Drag Queen
4.7.
- [38:06]
Monet x Change
In math, you got to get down to the. To the. To the, honey. To the. To the.
- [38:12]
Bob the Drag Queen
Are we correct, Jacob?
- [38:16]
Monet x Change
So it's four hours and 75. Four hours, not 75 minutes. No, no, no. It's four hours and 45 minutes.
- [38:24]
Jacob
That is correct.
- [38:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
Right?
- [38:27]
Jacob
Yeah.
- [38:28]
Monet x Change
So four hours and 45 minutes, not 4.7. Yeah, four hours and 45 minutes. And I think I deserve those points.
- [38:37]
Bob the Drag Queen
Bitch. I got. First of all, y' all, rewind the tape. Bob said, okay, so four times 40 is 180. You're like, we have 10 minutes left. I was like. I was like, no, no.
- [38:45]
Monet x Change
All I said was 4 times 4 is 180 then. But I Forgot how many miles we had to travel,
- [38:51]
Bob the Drag Queen
so. You don't get the point. I helped you get there. Next question.
- [38:55]
Jacob
Okay, I'm pulling from slightly. A slightly different pool of questions than the other ones. This is for both of you to talk over. What percent of penises worldwide are circumcised?
- [39:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
I would say circumcised. I would say.
- [39:10]
Monet x Change
I think that's more than a fifth grader.
- [39:15]
Jacob
I know, but the questions weren't giving what I wanted them to give.
- [39:18]
Monet x Change
I mean, this is all guessing and conjecture based on your Praxis study. No, I'm saying my guess. What I'm doing is just guessing because I. I do not know, like, I have.
- [39:31]
Bob the Drag Queen
65% of the world is circumcised.
- [39:33]
Monet x Change
You say. You think what part? What percent?
- [39:35]
Bob the Drag Queen
I said I'm going to say 65%.
- [39:37]
Monet x Change
You know, I can only think of one country. I can only think of two countries in the world where most of the people are circumcised. 2.
- [39:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
Israel.
- [39:45]
Monet x Change
America and Israel. And so what percent do you say is circumcised? Money.
- [39:53]
Bob the Drag Queen
I said 65% is circumcised.
- [39:57]
Monet x Change
That's not enough. That's not a big enough number. That's. That's too many. I was. Because.
- [40:01]
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I meant to say with. I meant to say. Sorry, I meant uncircumcised.
- [40:06]
Monet x Change
But the number's not. That's. I think. I think it's actually closer to 95% circumcised, 5% uncircumcised.
- [40:15]
Jacob
No, wait, you mean other way around?
- [40:18]
Monet x Change
I think it's 95% uncircumcised and 5% circumcised.
- [40:22]
Bob the Drag Queen
I say it is. I say it's 70%. I say it's 6. I say. I say it's 65% uncircumcised, 35% circumcised. What is it, Jacob?
- [40:35]
Jacob
It is 30%.
- [40:37]
Bob the Drag Queen
30% what? Circumcised.
- [40:39]
Jacob
30% of people worldwide. 30% of penises are circumcised.
- [40:44]
Monet x Change
Oh.
- [40:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
So we were both wrong. And we were. Who was. Bob was a little closer.
- [40:50]
Monet x Change
I don't know what number you were at. Where were you at? I said 5 to 95. What did you say?
- [40:55]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, I said 35% are circumcised. So I was. I was closer. I was right. Well, I was close.
- [41:00]
Monet x Change
That was a real. You really stretched what it means to be right there, didn't you? Really?
- [41:04]
Bob the Drag Queen
I stretch it like that foreskin. Just.
- [41:05]
Monet x Change
You took some liberties with it. With. Correct.
- [41:07]
Jacob
Didn't you?
- [41:11]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, because even in, like, countries that are predominantly circumcised, I'm uncircumcised. Like, all over Europe and places I've been, I still find a lot of uncircumcised, circumcised dicks.
- [41:25]
Monet x Change
Yeah. And, you know, can you do. Can you do.
- [41:34]
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, next question. These are cute.
- [41:38]
Jacob
All right, let's see. Every day, 2,700Americans find out that they have, what, STI. How many 2,700Americans are diagnosed every day with this STI?
- [42:03]
Monet x Change
That's a pretty low number. 2,700 out of 330 million people. But maybe that's not a low number. And maybe the answer is what to say.
- [42:13]
Bob the Drag Queen
Are they. Are they only checking gay people?
- [42:15]
Monet x Change
Because, well, I feel like everyone has hpv, apparently. So maybe that's not enough. Maybe it's.
- [42:23]
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm going to say gonorrhea.
- [42:29]
Monet x Change
I was going to say syphilis, organorrhea, but I'll go with gonorrhea, too. We're talking it out. Why gonorrhea?
- [42:36]
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I feel like it's a pretty common std.
- [42:38]
Monet x Change
Have you ever had gonorrhea?
- [42:42]
Bob the Drag Queen
I did in Belfast.
- [42:44]
Monet x Change
And did you get treated in Belfast or in America?
- [42:47]
Bob the Drag Queen
In America.
- [42:48]
Monet x Change
So you traveled it all? You took it across the street?
- [42:51]
Bob the Drag Queen
I brought it back home. I brought home some gifts.
- [42:53]
Monet x Change
Bring him home. Bring him home.
- [42:58]
Bob the Drag Queen
What's that from?
- [42:59]
Monet x Change
It's from Les Mis.
- [43:01]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, okay, Jacob, what is it?
- [43:05]
Jacob
You're correct. It's gonorrhea.
- [43:06]
Monet x Change
Oh, wow.
- [43:07]
Bob the Drag Queen
Look at us knowing our sdi. Have you ever had gonorrhea?
- [43:13]
Monet x Change
Yes, I have. And I called you on the phone when I got my shot, remember?
- [43:18]
Bob the Drag Queen
You did? I don't remember.
- [43:21]
Monet x Change
Well, yeah, I called you and I was like, girl, I'm getting this fucking thick gogurt shot in the ass.
- [43:29]
Bob the Drag Queen
The gogurt shot. You know, I have a lot of gay friends that, like, when they come from, like, a raunchy weekend in Palm Springs or Fire island, they go to their doctors. Like, this is typical with queer doctors. They're like, hey, I just had a weekend in Far island, and I just need the cocktail. And the doctors give it to them, as opposed to a straight doctor that's like, what do you mean? Well, let's wait till you have some symptoms first. Gay guys are like, bitch, I know, I know. I need this thing. Just give it to me. I know. And gay doctors are like, yeah, yeah, we got you. But straight doctors are like, you know, let's wait till you have some symptoms. We don't know for sure when the guys will be knowing fully for sure.
- [44:07]
Jacob
Yeah.
- [44:07]
Monet x Change
I recently had an exposure scare. And then I went to the doctor and I was like, you know, someone who I was with was exposed and we were, we were using safe sex practices. Safer sex practices, and I don't have any symptoms. And the doctor was like, yeah, you're probably fine. And she was like, you can take the antibiotics if you want to. Whereas I felt like, at the gay doctor, bitch, they've injected me before. I signed a consent form.
- [44:35]
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I think I may have.
- [44:37]
Monet x Change
Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. Well, I guess Band Aid out the door with a lollipop and a bag full of colorful condoms.
- [44:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, the gonorrhea shot does hurt. That shit. That, that shit hurts. Bitch. In your ass, that shit fucking hurt. And it was. You know what? I got it from one of my first hookups ever. Like, I was. Season 10 was. I was in the midst of season 10 and Lady Bunny. Shangela had. Shangela couldn't hold.
- [45:02]
Monet x Change
You started hooking up. When are your first hookups as a RU girl? Oh, I was like, I was like, what you fucking in, like, sixth grade?
- [45:09]
Bob the Drag Queen
I was not fucking in sixth grade. I was sucking dick.
- [45:12]
Monet x Change
Oh, sorry.
- [45:14]
Bob the Drag Queen
So, and then, so Lady Bunny couldn't host the tour anymore and Shandra couldn't either. So I, Brandon Voss, flew me out to host Work the world for three days in the midst of season 10. And then the first show was in Belfast. This is my first time in the uk. I'm in Northern Ireland, I'm in Belfast, and I hook up with this dude who was asking me about Ms. Cracker the entire time.
- [45:33]
Monet x Change
Girl, red flag. Red flag.
- [45:37]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, but I didn't think anything of it. And then me and him hooked up. And then, like, when I got back to home to the States, like, a week later, I was like, I, I, I, I, I found out I had gonorrhea. I was like, great. This fucking asshole.
- [45:48]
Monet x Change
What was he asking about Ms. Cracker?
- [45:51]
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, he's like, is Ms. Crocker really this in person or how does she do this? I'm like, I love her hair. Does she really do all her wigs? Like, shit like that? He wasn't even that hot either. Like, this dude was not even hot enough to warrant going through that shit. You know what I mean? Like, if he was like, fucking hot, I'd be like, oh, yeah. I was like, But I was just, like, excited. Like, someone wants to hook up to me, hook up with me. Because I was on tv I was like, oh, you know, when people know
- [46:15]
Monet x Change
that you know someone famous, they. I find there's one question they almost always ask, and I think it is the least interesting question you can ask about someone. And are they nice? That's such a. In my. Such a lame question to ask. Is she nice? Is he nice? Is he nice in person? Is she nice in person? That is just such a lame question. Like, don't you feel lame asking it?
- [46:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
I think people are so curious. Like, you see these public, these celebrities and these public figures, and I think people really, like, get a kick out of knowing, like, is it. Are they putting on. Are they, like, really a nice person? And the truth is, everyone. No, no one is nice all the time. Like, people go through things, but people really want to know, like, is this. Is. Is Bob the Drag Queen really nice in person?
- [47:05]
Monet x Change
I had a conversation recently about this. I want you to tell me your answer on this. I was talking to this guy recently who did a play, and when, When Hugh Jackman was in the play, and when Hugh Jackman left the play, he gave everyone, like, $3,000 or something.
- [47:25]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, he got it to give, and
- [47:28]
Monet x Change
the question was, is that nice? Is it nice for Hugh Jackman to give everyone $3,000?
- [47:41]
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's a nice gesture. I think that depending on what your economic status is, like, you get the $3,000 that. Oh, shit, like this, like, that's like a lot of money. You know what I mean? And again, everyone's situation is different to one person. $3,000 might be another person's fucking million dollars. Who fucking knows? But.
- [47:58]
Monet x Change
But I think.
- [47:58]
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's a very nice gesture.
- [48:00]
Monet x Change
I think my question is, like, what constitutes nice? Like, I've also heard people say stuff like, I went to go see Monique do a show. Monique the comedian. She has a reputation for doing the longest meet and greets and spending so much time hugging every single person. And like, really, someone was like, it was raining outside, and she stood in the rain and hugged every single person. And I'm like, is it. Is it. Is it considered not nice if you're like, it's raining, I'm leaving, or, we need to move this to a place, or, let's hurry it up. Is it, Is that, Is that not nice?
- [48:35]
Bob the Drag Queen
But I do. I don't. I don't think the two. I don't think that you have to do, like, just because something is nice.
- [48:41]
Monet x Change
There's different questions I'm asking,
- [48:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
is it not nice? No, I don't think it's not Nice to be like, hey, it's raining. I don't want to do this outside. I don't think that's not nice, but I think that doing that is a nice act. Like, these people paid a lot of money or they waited to get to this thing. So taking your time out to say hi to each and. To each and every one of them in the rain, that is nice. But not doing that is not nice.
- [49:04]
Monet x Change
It seems like somehow kindness is sometimes equated with how much you're willing to put yourself out so that someone else can feel better. Which I think is just a. Kind of a weird way to think about it.
- [49:22]
Bob the Drag Queen
I think a lot of it has to do with society, like, where we are. We witness a lot of people, like, through social media, through politics, whatever it is, who are so mean and nasty, and we're in a weird thing where a lot of people prioritize themselves. So to see someone do something that's just a little bit not selfish is like, wow, that is so unexpected. Like, no one does that anymore.
- [49:50]
Monet x Change
You know what I mean?
- [49:50]
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's the shock of where we are. I feel like in the 1930s, I mean, obviously you don't talk to a black person. It's a different experience. But that's like, you go back. That harkens back to a time that was so sweet and everyone was so kind. And you could. And you. And you could. You could like, not lock your doors because people wouldn't rob. Whatever it is. Like. Like, I think that is just. We're just so. We're in a time where that's just not a thing that to see people be so selfless, it seems so jarring. Like, wow, no one behaves like that.
- [50:18]
Monet x Change
So I guess I was wondering too, like, is it selfless to give everyone $3,000, or is it, like, if it means nothing to him, does it. Is it less kind? Like, did he write the checks, or did he just look at someone and go write everyone a check and then he just kept going about his business? Or did he. Does it mean more if he writes them and hands them out himself? Does it. There was a clip of Anderson Cooper on the news with his mom, and he bought his mom this necklace, this, like, very expensive necklace for Mother's Day was a Mother's Day clip. And she was like, I don't like this necklace. Or she was like. She was like, it's nice. It's whatever. But you know what I really like? Anderson years. I have this card that you wrote me when you were six Years old, and I still have it. And she was reading this card on the air, and she was like, yeah, so the necklace is whatever, but this card. She goes, I did receive the necklace with the typed note, is what she said. She goes, I did receive the necklace you gave me with a typed note, but also I have this handwritten card from years ago that I really cherish. And I just found it really interesting. It's just interesting thing to ponder. I don't really have an answer myself whether or not it is kind or whether it's not kind. Like. Like. Like when Harriet Tubman was, like, helping people escape, you know, she would, like, knock out babies, allegedly.
- [51:49]
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, knock them out. Like, why?
- [51:50]
Monet x Change
Because they're crying.
- [51:53]
Jacob
Just to be clear, she would, like. She would sedate them with, like, drugs.
- [51:59]
Monet x Change
There were accounts of her allegedly, like, some babies, too, and also boozing up babies as well. I don't. I mean, none of this is verified. They're all just accounts. Any of this could just be lies and people are made up over time. But is that nice?
- [52:17]
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
- [52:17]
Monet x Change
But is it good? Yeah.
- [52:22]
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, going back to the what's his name, Hugh Jackman thing, I also feel the context probably helps for people who don't do, like, theater shows or plays, whatever it is, like, it's customary for, like, when you, like, do a show or you rap a show or, like. Or the guest star is leaving, like, they do, like, a rap gift and they give, like, the cast of the company or the principals, whoever it is, like, you give, like, a rap gift to everyone there. Like, for example, when I did shows that I've done, like, I. Pat and I have gone out together. We've gone, like, wrap gifts for the cast. Because it's just a. It's like a nice gesture, and it's kind of. It's not necessary. You don't have to do it. But, like, again, I can't afford to give everyone $3,000, but I give. But I did give everyone what was comfortable for me to give the cast. So what did you give for Hugh Jack? I gave everyone. We went to this place. Place downtown Minneapolis. I forget the name of it. It's this really nice. It's Marks and something or Mark and Roll or something like that. They have these really nice candles. I got everyone a nice candle with a handwritten note saying, like, thank you. It's getting to meet you.
- [53:21]
Monet x Change
But see, the thing is, like, there's an effort that goes in. Like when I did Angels in America, I got the cast members all gifts. But these gifts Were amazing.
- [53:34]
Bob the Drag Queen
What were these gifts? The pies.
- [53:36]
Monet x Change
I paint the gifts. The pies were gift to me from you, by the way. I did a painting for one of the cast members. They all were related to the characters, so I did a painting for one of them. I got a polar bear outfit for Bethany's child because of a line in the play. I found some Faberge cologne on ebay for one of the. For one of the actors because his character wore favorite. I had. I had an octopus wine holder because he had a line about wanting to be an octopus. I, I had a custom.
- [54:15]
Bob the Drag Queen
Did he drink wine?
- [54:17]
Monet x Change
And he drinks wine. I had a custom star made. What's the star, Jacob? The star of.
- [54:25]
Jacob
The star of Ethel Rosenberg.
- [54:26]
Monet x Change
The star of Ethel Rosenberg. So I had a. I had fierce drag jewels. Make a pin. I have a custom star of Ethel Rosenberg. I had. What else did I do? Oh, Jacob made a book cover. So there's this book in the show that's not a real book, but Jacob, like, made the book a real book and then, like, a book cover. Then I put it over another book, Pride and Prejudice they're talking about in the show, and gave it to one of them as a gift.
- [55:01]
Bob the Drag Queen
What did you get? Did you get yourself? Did you get.
- [55:03]
Monet x Change
Oh, and I made a robe for Randy Harrison. I made him a robe because he loved his, like, this robe that he wears in the show. And I made him one, like, a replica of it.
- [55:14]
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you, did you get a rap gift from the rest of the cast?
- [55:17]
Monet x Change
Did I get a gift?
- [55:19]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Like, was everyone giving gifts or just you?
- [55:22]
Monet x Change
No, a lot of people were giving. I can't remember everything. Everyone gave everyone, but there were other gifts going around, for sure.
- [55:28]
Bob the Drag Queen
Got it.
- [55:29]
Jacob
Is there an amount of money that you would rather have over a gift? Like, where would you rather have? Like, if you're filming a movie with RuPaul, would you rather have RuPaul pick out a gift for you or would you rather have, like, $50,000?
- [55:42]
Monet x Change
Well, I think it depends on the gift. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, the, the, the, the short answer is I'm, I, I'm, I'm not struggling for money. You know what I mean? So I think that a gift of cash versus a well thought out gift, I think I'd appreciate the gift instead, personally.
- [56:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I think, yeah, it depends on what it is, right? If RuPaul gives me some as a rap gift, some gum, some beats, headphones, I'm like. Or $50,000. I wanted $50,000, but if it's Like, I don't know if it's, like, he's gifting. He did a movie with, like, 10 queens, and it gives each of us, like, one of his, like, one of his favorite looks. Runways. He's won on Drag Race. I would take that over $50,000. Like, I think it varies. It depends on what.
- [56:37]
Monet x Change
Yeah, I think. Yeah, that's a good point. What is the gift? We know the $50,000. What's the other gift, Jacob, what's the gift?
- [56:45]
Jacob
The gift is it's some kind of piece of, like, iconic RuPaul memorabilia.
- [56:53]
Monet x Change
I want the memorabilia.
- [56:53]
Jacob
Like, not like, an outfit.
- [56:55]
Monet x Change
I want the memorabilia.
- [56:56]
Jacob
Say instead of $50,000, I'm going to say 100. 100,000.
- [57:03]
Monet x Change
So when you say iconic RuPaul memorabilia, you mean, like, like an authentic piece? Like, RuPaul would be like, this is, like, this is the first copy of Star Booty. This is. These are the shoes I wore in supermodel.
- [57:17]
Jacob
Yes, but it's something that would think of something that would retail for, like, less than 100k. So. Yeah, like, maybe a shoe that she wore in supermodel or like, like a signed copy of her book Guru.
- [57:32]
Monet x Change
I have a signed copy of Guru.
- [57:33]
Jacob
Or the first edition.
- [57:35]
Bob the Drag Queen
No. I wonder if I want. I want a hundred thousand dollars. I don't want the first edition of Guru.
- [57:40]
Monet x Change
I would like the earring that she wore in Supermodel.
- [57:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe I would want the dress you want Supermodel.
- [57:47]
Jacob
I'm taking that, Monet. It's the mask that she wore. The face Kini mask she wore when you lip synced.
- [57:54]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, I want the mask.
- [57:56]
Monet x Change
That's a good. That's a good. That's a good. That's a good one, Jacob.
- [57:59]
Bob the Drag Queen
I want the mask. And you know what? Just give me her head, too. I want the head and the mask.
- [58:05]
Monet x Change
You would like her beheaded?
- [58:08]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yep.
- [58:09]
Monet x Change
All right, Jacob, can you think of a way to settle this? Either we have to just crown me as the winner because I have more points, or.
- [58:19]
Bob the Drag Queen
What would it do?
- [58:20]
Jacob
We can flip a coin.
- [58:22]
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm down. I have no points.
- [58:24]
Monet x Change
No. Monet has nothing to lose.
- [58:26]
Jacob
We actually. I have a really good. I have one last question that we can use as a tiebreaker.
- [58:30]
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. Okay. What is it?
- [58:31]
Monet x Change
And do we have to answer it first? What do we do?
- [58:34]
Jacob
You can take turns, but what if
- [58:36]
Monet x Change
we both get it right?
- [58:37]
Jacob
It's more about answers, so it's about who maybe has a better answer.
- [58:42]
Monet x Change
So you're the arbiter of this?
- [58:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
- [58:44]
Jacob
And the fans. The fans can put it to a fan vote after you answer the question.
- [58:48]
Monet x Change
I want to know now.
- [58:50]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God. Jacob asked this question because this bitch will not give you peace.
- [58:54]
Jacob
Is Trixie Mattel nice?
- [59:06]
Bob the Drag Queen
Is Trixie Mattel nice? I'm not answering that. She's a.
- [59:12]
Monet x Change
People always say, is Tracy nice or is she a? And I always say she's a nice bitch. What would you say about is Trixie nice? How would you answer that question?
- [59:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
I would say, Trixie. If someone asked me, Trixie been so nice, I would say, Trixie is a hard worker, and Trixie does not. Colleen, I can't. You gotta get down, girl.
- [59:38]
Monet x Change
Monet just said no off the bat. Monet said no. Damn.
- [59:42]
Bob the Drag Queen
Ate her up. I would say Trixie's a hard worker. Trixie is very nice to me. I was like, but, you know, if you're. If she don't fuck with you, then she's not nice to you.
- [59:51]
Monet x Change
You know, I think I would probably say, is Trixie nice? You know, like, do I think that Trixie's gonna, like, break her own leg? Like, I don't necessarily love the idea of, like, he gave him their shirt off his back, so now this bitch don't got a shirt. Like, what's going on? You know, I don't think Trixie is, like, she's not Mother Teresa, who apparently wasn't very nice, by the way.
- [60:13]
Bob the Drag Queen
Where'd you hear that?
- [60:14]
Monet x Change
Apparently, your Mother Teresa was very problematic. She was Catholic, and she really believed in getting your gifts in the. In the next life.
- [60:25]
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, interesting.
- [60:27]
Monet x Change
Yeah. Anyway, you know, a lot of Catholics really believe in, like, giving until it hurts.
- [60:33]
Bob the Drag Queen
Right?
- [60:36]
Monet x Change
So I would say I don't think she's, like, particularly like, you know, Santa Trixie Mattel. But. But I do think she's lovely. And she's always nice to me. She's sweet to me. Every time we. Every time we talk same.
- [60:47]
Bob the Drag Queen
I like Trixie a lot. Katya's always very sweet, too. I love Katya.
- [60:51]
Monet x Change
You know, I don't know how much I value niceness. Is that horrible?
- [60:57]
Bob the Drag Queen
No. I mean, you're allowed to not value niceness.
- [61:00]
Monet x Change
I think a lot of niceness, what we see as niceties. I hate to sound like one of these folks, but it really be fake. It really, really be fake.
- [61:10]
Bob the Drag Queen
Give me context. Like what? Like, that's so broad. Like, what do you mean?
- [61:15]
Monet x Change
Like, if someone's like, I met Trixie at the airport and she took a picture with me. She did a video for my mom. She pulled out a T shirt from her backpack and handed it to me. She. And then she asked me if I want. So then she also did a video for my sister, too. And then she gave me tickets to her show. And I'm like, if Trixie did that, how much of that is just pr, like, doing all this stuff for this fan? But also, if you. But also, why is niceness, like, always weighed against how much you're willing to give up for someone?
- [62:07]
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I don't.
- [62:08]
Monet x Change
Or what you're willing to sacrifice yourself? Like, I met. Let me rephrase it. I met you at the airport. Let me rephrase it. I met Trixie at the airport, and she was running to her plane, but I really wanted to stop and talk to her, and she literally missed her flight for me. That was so nice. And I'm like, is that nice?
- [62:28]
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, to inconvenience yourself for the joy of someone else? I think that is a nice act.
- [62:33]
Monet x Change
Missing your flight for someone is insane.
- [62:36]
Bob the Drag Queen
It is insane. But that doesn't change something can be insane and still be nice.
- [62:42]
Monet x Change
Yeah.
- [62:45]
Bob the Drag Queen
So, Bob, so we were at the airport and I really needed to talk to you. I had a really bad day. We happened to be flying. We happened to both land in Minneapolis at the same time. You come off the plane and you are running. You are trying to catch the train because your next flight is boarding, the doors are closing in 20 minutes, and it's going to take you 10 minutes to get there. But you see me in the lounge, and I am crying. I've had a bad day. I am boo hoo crying. I am inconsolable. What do you do? Do you miss your flight or do you take care of me?
- [63:13]
Monet x Change
Well, where am I headed? This is very important. Am I headed home? I'm headed to a gig?
- [63:19]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you're heading. You're heading. You're heading. You're not heading to a gig. You're heading to a fitting. Like, you're heading to New York for fitting. And the fitting is Monday. The gig is Tuesday. So you need to get to your fitting to, like, make this work for this outfit on Tuesday.
- [63:33]
Monet x Change
What day is it today?
- [63:36]
Bob the Drag Queen
It's Sunday.
- [63:36]
Monet x Change
And what time is it? Are there more flights? This is all important.
- [63:44]
Bob the Drag Queen
There is one more flight after this one, but if you get on it, you're gonna be standby. It's not guaranteed you're gonna get on it.
- [63:51]
Monet x Change
Okay. Are you, like. Are you, like, 13th reason or you, like, a little sad?
- [63:57]
Bob the Drag Queen
Me and Andy just broke up. Colleen ran away. And me, Andy just broke up, Colleen ran away, and Patty and Patty Missed his wife, too, so he's not there with me, either. And I'm just a mess.
- [64:11]
Monet x Change
You know, if it's a fitting and there's another flight, I would. Okay, what's the likelihood. What number am I on? Standby? This is all important. Am I, like, gonna get on the flight?
- [64:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it's standby. You are. Even though you're Delta diamond, everyone else on the standby list is Delta diamond as well. But they're, like 8 million milers, so you are having to be at the bottom of the standby list.
- [64:38]
Monet x Change
So here's what's. What's. What's going through my head if I miss this fitting. This affects a lot of people. It's not just. It's not just like, I just chose to not go home. You know, it's like I'm missing work, and then Domino and his whole team are just kind of waiting around with his dress. And then I have a gig on Tuesday, so Domino doesn't have time to do alterations if I miss this flight. And everyone at the thing. Now, I don't have an outfit for that, so I feel like I might be like, hey, listen, why don't you. And it's from Minneapolis to New York City.
- [65:16]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
- [65:16]
Monet x Change
I will land in one and a half hours. I will call you when I land. Are you gonna be okay until then?
- [65:24]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I'm not. I'm not. I don't know where my bags are. I lost my computer and my phone.
- [65:29]
Monet x Change
Damn. Double homicide. Damn.
- [65:40]
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I will miss my flight for you. I would. I would miss my flight for you.
- [65:44]
Monet x Change
The difference is I wouldn't ask you to miss your flight. One day, I say, girl, go on your flight.
- [65:49]
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, okay. Bob would say, go on my flight, but the undertones of that would be like, Monet, this is really hard for me. I really like you to stay here, but you should go on your flight.
- [65:57]
Monet x Change
What? In. In the over 10 years you've known me, when have I ever give you an inkling of that undertone?
- [66:06]
Bob the Drag Queen
Many times, girl.
- [66:08]
Monet x Change
Goodbye, Jake. To quote Jacob or to quote Manila's boyfriend.
- [66:15]
Bob the Drag Queen
No, you just see someone tag this in the video. They put it together on Twitter.
- [66:24]
Monet x Change
All right. Bye, everybody.
- [66:26]
Bob the Drag Queen
Bye.