The One Where We Try Tongue Twisters

Summary

Sibling Rivalry – "The One Where We Try Tongue Twisters"

October 21, 2024
Hosts: Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change
Location: Red Bank, New Jersey

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Episode Overview

In this lively and quintessentially chaotic episode, Bob and Monét dive into a string of classic Sibling Rivalry tangents: from dissecting their favorite (and most questionable) sandwich combinations to competitive tongue twister sessions, wild debates about who stutters the most, and raucous discussions about everything from childhood meals to supposedly secret celebrity tunnels. The pair bring their signature wit, shade, and chemistry, with plenty of memorable bits and quotable moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. The Great Sandwich & Soup Debate

[01:09 – 11:44]

• Both hosts reminisce about their childhood meals and current food preferences.
• Bob loves loaded potato soup—especially from Hale and Hardy—and a tomato cheddar soup that's so thick "it has to become a paste."

  "It is absolutely delicious. Tomato and cheddar tastes good together." (Bob, 02:42)

• Monét confesses to never having had bologna, dislikes cold cuts, and details his fried bologna sandwich ritual.
• The culinary back-and-forth exposes differences in how the pair “lubricates” a sandwich:
  • Bob: Ranch on chicken sandwiches, never mayo or tomato.
  • Monét: Not much of a sandwich person now but obsessed as a kid with his sandwich maker, making everything from leftover tuna melts (with mustard!) to hot dog stir-fries (Caribbean style).
• Childhood picky eating: Bob’s mom would make separate meals for him, standing by “choose your battles” in parenting.

  "My mother had to cook second meals for me because I would not eat what the family was eating." (Bob, 09:42)

• Both share growing pickiness as adults.

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2. Classic Sibling Banter: Gifts, “Help,” and Shady Debts

[06:00 – 08:54]

• Bob and Monét trade (mostly affectionate) barbs about all the things Bob has supposedly given Monét—dresses, sweaters, gig connections—versus Monét’s claims of neglect.
• Notable ongoing argument: Who helped whom get booked in NYC nightlife.
  • Monét: “You never give me anything.”
  • Bob: "How did you get Tuesday at Industry? ... Who do you think told Chris Wade?" (06:34)

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3. AI Assistants, Siri Shade & Drag Queen Dr. Seuss

[11:44 – 14:33]

• Bob and Monét compare smartphones’ digital assistants, trash Siri collectively, and joke about answering with "Ask Jeeves."
  • Bob: “Google Assistant is, in my opinion, the elite assistant…”
  • Monét: “Siri act like she went on her two weeks’ notice two weeks ago.”
• They brainstorm parodies of Dr. Seuss ("If You Give a Gay a Wig").
• A running theme: playful competition over who stutters more—fueled by listeners' feedback.

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4. Comedy & Pop Culture Faves

[15:41 – 17:34]

• Musical interlude: Bob recites the infamous Lady lyric (“tight pussy, ride me all night”).
• Bob contemplates an EP featuring viral internet personalities like Alexis K. Tyler and Lady (“poet laureate Lady”).
• Comedy icons discussed: Some More, Wanda Sykes, Chris Rock, John Mulaney, Adele Givens.

  "Chris Rock is a very good writer ... Some More. I think she's just fantastic." (Bob, 17:08–17:17)

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5. Tongue Twister Showdown

[17:37 – 29:05]

• Jacob presents each queen with classic tongue twisters—“Sock Cutter” and “Mother Pheasant Plucker.”
• Bob and Monét compete (and roast each other) on accuracy, pronunciation, and memory.

  Bob: "Three sock cutters, they cut socks. Three cock suckers, they cut socks." (Bob, 26:04 - accidental slip)

• They riff on who said what, who stuttered first, and challenge each other to invent limericks and haikus on the fly.

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6. City Naming and Petty Follow-ups

[29:10 – 31:40]

• Extended argument over whether "New York, New York" is a real, used phrase—led by call-outs from Patreon listeners.

  "People say Dallas, Texas. People say Atlanta, Georgia, and people say New York, New York. But ... I've never heard anyone say Philadelphia, Pennsylvania." (Bob, 30:39)

• The Bobbleheads (Bob’s fans) vs. Monation (Monét’s fans): Each tribe’s problematic stans are debated.
• Jacob’s off-mic role acknowledged.

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7. Black Acronyms & Cultural References

[32:26 – 36:35]

• They tackle viral “blackronyms” from TikTok (e.g., “Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you”), exposing regional and generational divides.
• Commentary on phrases like “I'll slap the black off your face” and their unfamiliarity with specific variations.

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8. Pop Culture Tangents: Coneheads, Sitcoms, and Brandy

[36:48 – 39:00]

• Deep nostalgia over 90s movies and sitcoms: Coneheads, Frasier (“Old black women love Frasier!”), Seinfeld, Spin City.
• Celebrity trivia: David Spade’s family ties to Kate Spade, with Bob demanding Monét's public apology when proven right (but never gets it).
• Monét shares that Brandy’s "Never Say Never" was his first album bought with his own money.

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9. Consent, Safe Words, and Kinks

[46:49 – 49:36]

• Candid, humorous conversation about sexual consent, group play, and the necessity of enthusiastic ‘yes’ in hookups.
• Bob gives a rundown on safe words—“rutabaga” being a favorite—discussing the importance not just for shyness but for non-con scenarios.

  "The point of a safe word is not because you're just so shy that you can't stand up for yourself; it is because you're engaging in a type of sexual activity where maybe standing up for yourself is part of the sexual act..." (Bob, 49:36)

• Light debate over whether Bob and Monét would (or could) ever share a third.

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10. Conspiracies, Fame, and Celebrity Tunnels

[50:14 – 51:52]

• The duo joke about wild internet myths, especially the supposed “secret celebrity tunnels” in LA.
• Bob remains skeptical: "I wouldn’t want to work down there ... how often are you getting visitors?"

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11. Representation, Family, and Genetics

[51:54 – 54:00]

• Monét shares the story of St. Lucia honoring its Olympic gold medalist with land and money.
• Bob transitions to another food tangent—Andy’s (her boyfriend) “Fred Flintstone feet”—leading to a mini science debate on the genetics of soft hands and feet.

  “It’s all genetic. Your whole body is genetic.” (Bob, 53:42)

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12. Wrapping Up & Final Plugs

[54:23 – end]

• Bob and Monét plug the Beaumont Beauty Presidential Palette, with sales supporting “Drag Out The Vote” and voter education.

  “There’s only 300 of them... proceeds go to Drag Out The Vote. Because I just voted, there’s a lot of stuff on there.” (Bob, 55:14)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Cooking for Picky Kids:

  “My mother had to cook second meals for me because I would not eat what the family was eating.” —Bob (09:42)

• On Safe Words:

  “A safe word should be a word that would never come up during sex... rutabaga. Betty White.” —Bob (48:13)

• On Gifts:

  “You never give me anything.” —Monét (06:45)
  “I gave you a sweater you never wear.” —Bob (07:54)

• On City Names:

  “People say Dallas, Texas. People say Atlanta, Georgia. People say Columbus, Georgia, and people say New York, New York.” —Bob (30:39)

• Accidental Tongue Twister Slip:

  “Three cock suckers, they cut socks.” —Bob (26:04)

• On Group Hookups:

  “I don’t think that you and I have that kind of friend.” —Bob (45:26)

• On Genetics:

  “It’s all genetic. Your whole body is genetic.” —Bob (53:42)

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:09 – 11:44: Sandwiches, Soup, and Childhood Meals
• 06:00 – 08:54: “What Have You Given Me?” Sibling Banter
• 11:44 – 14:33: Digital Assistants, Siri, and Dr. Seuss Drag Parodies
• 17:37 – 29:05: Tongue Twister Battle and Poetry Freestyle
• 29:10 – 31:40: Debating “New York, New York” and Fan Tribes
• 32:26 – 36:35: Black Acronyms Tiktok Challenge
• 36:48 – 39:00: Sitcom Nostalgia and Family Trivia
• 46:49 – 49:36: The Enthusiastic "Yes" and Safe Words
• 51:54 – 54:00: Celebration of St. Lucia’s Olympic Hero & Genetics
• 54:23 – episode end: Presidential Palette & Voting Plug

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Tone & Style

• Raucous, comedic, and cuttingly candid.
• Signature shade, call-outs, and constant interrupting (in the best way).
• Blending pop culture, personal anecdotes, and effortless queer cultural references.

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For Listeners

• If you love drag, queer humor, and off-the-wall pop culture analysis delivered at breakneck speed, this episode is a perfect showcase of Bob and Monét’s chemistry.
• Fans will enjoy new rounds of "Who’s stuttering?" and inside jokes about their fandoms.
• Listeners leave with the sense that in Sibling Rivalry, even tongue twisters get you roasted.

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Notable Recurring Gags

• Counting every Bob/Monét stutter.
• “Who really helped whom?” in career origins.
• The eternal “city and state name” debate.
• Bob’s insistence on safe words and proper sandwich structure.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[B]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[C]

My name is Bob Drag Queen. And I'm Monet X Change. And this is sibling rivalry.

[A]

On this week's episode, we talk about sandwiches.

[C]

We try out some tongue twisters.

[A]

And we find out what made Bob say this.

[C]

What? It's all genetic. Your whole body is genetic. And we find out what made Monet say this.

[A]

Let's get soaking wet. Let's get soaking wet.

[C]

I have to say, a couple episodes ago, you ate.

[A]

I ate your ass the fuck up.

[C]

What are you even talking about?

[A]

I know what. I know what I want to talk about. But you finish.

[C]

Soup is delicious. Today I had some loaded potato soup. Soup from not Helen Hardy, which is in my place, in my opinion, the best soup of all the food places.

[A]

No, you got soup man on 50 something street. An 8th Avenue soup man.

[C]

I've never had a Superman, but I have had Hale and Hardy. But today I had a Panera.

[A]

Jacob's getting me. All right, Jacob, you would have. Yeah, Jacob.

[C]

Let's get soaking like that.

[A]

Let's get soaking wet.

[C]

Very beautiful. My baby. I went to Panera. I didn't go to Panera. I ordered Panera. And what is the truth?

[A]

You have lied three times now.

[C]

Anyway, I misspoke. I ordered Panera and I had a little bit potato soup in. My goodness, it was so good.

[A]

Baked potato soups are so good. But you have to try. What was the one I used to have all the time? The one from Whole Foods. But here's the thing, though. In a cup of. It was 1,001, 280 calories in a cup, 8 ounces of soup.

[C]

Well, it's a loaded baked potato.

[A]

I know, it's crazy.

[C]

I mean, my favorite soup, soup, as you would say, soup is going to be.

[A]

Do I do soup?

[C]

Soup, yes. Is going to be either a tomato cheddar, but heavy on the cheddar. Like it has to become a paste Basically, I don't.

[A]

Tomato cheddar is a thing. I know. Broccoli cheddar, you mean there's a tomato cheddar.

[C]

Where Halen Hardy has a great tomato cheddar that you can have with a grilled cheese sandwich. It is absolutely delicious. Tomato and cheddar tastes good together.

[A]

Can I tell you what I do like?

[C]

Snarling your lip of tomato and cheddar.

[A]

I don't like tomato. Like I can eat a tomato in a sandwich. I don't like tomato. Like, you know how people just have a salad with a big ass cherry tomato and that shit just bust into your mouth And I hate that. But I'll eat tomato cut up in a sandwich.

[C]

I don't want tomatoes on my sandwich.

[A]

But you'll eat them a whole lot of.

[C]

I'll have diced tomatoes in the form of pico de gallo or in some salsa.

[A]

I could do that too.

[C]

But I do not want a. The only thing I want on my burger or my sandwich is lettuce and onion. I don't want mayonnaise. I do not want tomato.

[A]

What makes it lubricated? What makes the sandwich like what?

[C]

I have ranch.

[A]

Ranch on a sandwich.

[C]

Yeah. Ranch on a chicken sandwich or ranch on a girl. Dunk it in there.

[A]

Okay, well, okay, you're having a turkey sandwich, what is the lubrication?

[C]

I don't eat turkey sandwiches. I mean, I don't have a turkey sandwich. I don't really eat turkey sandwich.

[A]

If you have a ham and cheese sandwich, what's the lubrication?

[C]

I don't eat ham and cheese sandwiches. I don't eat sandwiches. I don't eat cold. I don't really have. I don't often eat a cold cut sandwich.

[A]

When you go home and you just

[C]

have things in your bologna sandwich.

[A]

When you put ranch on that.

[C]

No, you would fry the bologna sandwich. You just eat it. Bread and baloney is white bread. Bologna, white bread, white bread, bologna, white bread. And there's no cheese. No, I don't like cheese.

[A]

Okay, wait. And he said, I'm processing this. You just have a dry ass fried sandwich.

[C]

Well, there's juice in the bologna.

[A]

Not enough juice comes out of it to make it like to liquidate the sandwich.

[C]

Well, for me also I would flatten them. Like flatten you fry the bologna. You have to cut it in little corners or else it bubbles in the middle.

[A]

We don't eat bologna sandwich. This is all news to me. I never had that before. I never tasted bologna before.

[C]

Bologna kind of tastes like a hot dog. But it's flat instead of long. It kind of tastes like a hot dog. And you fry them instead of you boiling them. So you boil.

[A]

Oh, got it.

[C]

You boil hot dogs.

[A]

Boiling a sandwich is criminal.

[C]

No. So you boil the. So you fry the bologna. You cut, you have to cut it, Slice it on the corners, each corner, or else it will bubble up in the middle. And then what I would do is I would put it on white bread, completely flatten it to smithereens, and then eat it as like a thin, thin sandwich.

[A]

Can you read that sound again? So as a kid, when we got a panini maker, or it was like a sandwich maker bitch, that changed the game for my father.

[C]

Well, what's the difference between a panini maker and a sandwich maker?

[A]

The panini one gives the lines the sandwich panini press a panini press the sandwich one just makes it kind of like what you just said, but it just flattens it and like closes all the sides of it. The four sides. That when my fat little curry goat stealing ass. When we got the sandwich maker, I would make everything a sandwich. I just loved it so much.

[C]

What were some of your greatest inventions?

[A]

Like when we have like leftover, like I'll put tuna. I would like make my tuna fish. I make my tuna fish in a way you would hate, by the way.

[C]

I don't like tuna, so I already hate it off the rip. I don't like it.

[A]

Like even sushi.

[C]

I do not. There is no form of tuna that I'm interested in eating. I. I do not like tuna, man. Not in a can. Not in sushi.

[A]

I do not like them green eggs and ham.

[C]

I do not like them moai. Moai, ma'.

[A]

Am.

[C]

Come on, Bob. You don't want to moi, bro. I don't know mow my bro. I do not like to mow my bro.

[A]

We should write a new Dr. Seuss.

[C]

Well, I want to write one called if you give a twinkle wig or if you give a gay a wig.

[A]

For what? Would it be a children's book?

[C]

No.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Do a children's book. No, it would be based on the children's book, but it wouldn't be about. It would not be marketed to children. Like if you give a twinkle wig, he's going to ask you to borrow, borrow your heels. If you give him your heels, he's going to ask you to do his makeup. If you do his makeup, he's going to ask you to borrow a dress. If you give him a dress, he's going to want a booking at your Show. If you give him booking your show, he's going to ask you to help him audition for Drag Race. If you have him audition for Drag Race, he's going to ask you to help him build his package. If you build his package, he's going to ask you to send him a message during untucked, you send a messenger on Untuck, he's going to ask you to crown him when he wins. If he asks you to win, he's going to ask you to. He's going to try to join and work the world into your. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[A]

Just say that you are talking about me. Dedicated to Monet. Shade.

[C]

You give a gay a wig.

[A]

I think it should be a children's wig.

[C]

I've never given you a wig.

[A]

You never give me anything. You made a dress for me. You made a dress for me. These are the things you're giving me. You helped me. You made that dress for me for the Little Mermaid number. You made me the gown for Miss Hell's Kitchen. And I would call these things you've given me.

[C]

And by the way, you literally. That won Best Gown.

[A]

No, I won Best gown the next year. The one that. Did you make me both of you?

[C]

Yes, I did.

[A]

Okay, maybe two gals.

[C]

Thank you. This went from. You've never given me anything.

[A]

Okay, keep going.

[C]

By the way, we're already in the first two. The first two years of your career. Keep going.

[A]

That's all you're giving me? What else are you giving me?

[C]

I have not given you anything else.

[A]

I can't think of it.

[C]

How did you get Monday nights at Barracuda?

[A]

You didn't give it to me.

[C]

How did you get it?

[A]

Bob Ponterelli came to me and asked me if I wanted to do it.

[C]

No, how did you get Tuesdays that interest?

[A]

That is how it happened.

[C]

I told Bob to give you that gift.

[A]

It says, should we call Bob Pontiarelli and ask him?

[C]

You can go.

[A]

Do you think he lands?

[C]

How did you get Tuesday at Industry?

[A]

Chris Dunbar asked me if I wanted to do it.

[C]

Who do you think told Chris Wade? Who do you think told Chris Wade?

[A]

Wade shaming bitch. Okay, wait. We're going back to. Oh, oh, sandwiches I make. So when I make 250.

[C]

I gave you a sweater you never wear.

[A]

I literally wore it the other day to a thing when I went. When you called me to Bob does this thing right.

[C]

Do you want to come hang out? That's not weird. Come hang out. No, let me finish.

[A]

The show is at 8:00pm I got

[C]

a call from Bob at.

[A]

At 7:36. Like, hey, mom, what you doing tonight? You want to come and hang out? I was like, yeah, what time? Well, the show starts at 8. I'm like, I live three hours from the video.

[C]

I just decided. A couple of us were all decided to go hang out.

[A]

Well, I thought. I thought I was a last minute option. I don't think, like, you were thinking about me really thoughtfully.

[C]

That might be true work.

[A]

So in my tuna fish, I put mustard in it, which. Which you wouldn't like.

[C]

When you said tuna, I was out and I'm doubly out now. I also don't like relish.

[A]

I don't like relish either.

[C]

I love pickles.

[A]

I don't like pickles. Do you like sauerkraut on a hot dog?

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, I don't like. So on my hot dog, I'm just putting mustard and ketchup.

[C]

Hot dog. Hot dog.

[A]

I said a hot dog.

[C]

The hot dog.

[A]

So back into my sandwich maker, I would put tuna sandwiches in there. I will put ham sandwiches in there.

[C]

You cook the mustard?

[A]

Yeah. You can cook mustard.

[C]

So you put the mustard on? I would put it and then heat it up.

[A]

Yeah. In the thing.

[C]

Heating up mustard?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

That's wild.

[A]

Why is that wild?

[C]

Cause it doesn't.

[D]

It sounds.

[C]

It's like heating up ketchup.

[A]

You can. Okay, so that's another thing we used to do. So it's. I think. Can y' all tell me this is Caribbean? There's things I think that are just black or. I think it's Caribbean. Did you make like hot, like chopped up hot dogs and then you put in the pan. You put down, you boil it, then you chop it up, then you put it in a pan with some onions and ketchup and like stir fry it and then eat that with bread?

[C]

No.

[A]

Is that.

[C]

I mean, I don't know. We didn't do it.

[A]

Do you do that, Jacob? No. Okay.

[C]

I'm not gonna pull them on in and claim that it must be Caribbean because I don't know it.

[A]

I think it might be a Caribbean thing. We ate corned beef a lot as a kid. Did you like corned beef?

[D]

We.

[C]

I mean, I don't know. I didn't. I was a. I have a pretty limited palate today. As a child, my mother had to cook second meals for me because I would not eat what the family was eating.

[A]

That's too much. You. You. You going to eat what we. What we going to eat?

[C]

I know, I don't.

[A]

Especially your mom was busy working, and then she had to make a separate meal for you as she came from work.

[C]

Yeah, she love me also. I don't think you understand you. Everyone. Everyone thinks that. That they say what they're going to do when they become parents.

[A]

I know. Oh, girl, I will.

[C]

Cuz, honey, you going.

[A]

I'm such a pushover.

[C]

What are you going to do? And what are you going to do?

[A]

What are you going to do when

[C]

your child literally won't eat?

[A]

Oh, I. I would. I would absolutely cave in. But right now, I'm sitting on this side. I'm like, hell, no. But I know, I know I'll push over my mother. Think about if I have a kid. I know my kid will run amok with me. I will fold. I will fold. I will probably give my kid everything they ask for. It's probably going to be bad. It's problematic.

[C]

Well, I. My mother was talking.

[A]

Focus here, please.

[C]

I can talk and do multiple things at once.

[A]

Can you uncross your hands? That's settling to me.

[C]

My hands are cold.

[A]

My hands are cold, too.

[C]

Well, then what? You think you're going to warm me up with your cold hands? They're warmer than mine. My mother was having a conversation with one of her core. She's like, my son will not eat what I cook. Like, what do I do? Then she was like, was he a good kid? They're like, yeah. She's like, girl, just make him something else.

[A]

And like, what?

[C]

She's like, choose your battle. Just. Just like, she would make me the things that I like. So if everyone was eating, like, I hate it. I do not like pot roast. I've never liked pot roast.

[A]

What is a pot?

[C]

Pot roast is like a big chunk of beef with a bunch of vegetables.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And it cooks all day in, like a crock pot. She'd make me, like, fried chicken, or she'd make me hot dogs, or she'd make me a oven pizza, or she'd make me a Frito pie, or she'd make me chicken and potatoes, or she'd make me lasagna. She'd just make me something separate. Or she'd let me, like, have a microwave meal.

[A]

I think I've become more. I've become more. More picky of an eater as I've gotten older. As a kid, I was pretty. I was amenable to pretty much anything they would make. I mean, look, look. Look at me. I was eating everything. But as I become older, I become more picky.

[C]

Are we crooked? Y' all comment below. Are we crooked?

[A]

Jake can adjust it.

[C]

Did you know that? Nevermind, I can't remember it. If you. If you type in, like, Google. If you say like Google, go askew, your whole screen will get crooked. Also Google. Okay, Google works on your phone.

[A]

No, it doesn't.

[C]

Yes, it does. Unless you. Unless you deactivate it.

[A]

I haven't. I didn't even know.

[C]

So open it up. You have to take an extra step. Go to Google.

[A]

I don't have Google. Like what? Google?

[C]

Like the website. Oh, Maps. Yes. When I go to Google Maps, I

[A]

don't know what you.

[C]

If.

[A]

If it works on google.com, it will work on Google Maps. They're like, all integrated.

[C]

All right, let's see. Maybe you have to turn it off. You also, you seem like the type who turns off Siri because you think she's, like, listening to you or something.

[A]

Hey, Siri. Hey, Siri.

[C]

Your phone answer to nothing. She don't even respect you, girl.

[A]

I have a whole bit of my sound about Siri, Siri, Siri act Siric work like, she went her two weeks notice two weeks ago.

[C]

No, Siri's horrible.

[A]

She's disrespectful.

[C]

Siri's horrible.

[A]

The worst part, you say, hey, Siri, the little bubbles line up. She go, never mind, I'm gonna answer.

[C]

I find when she's like, I found this. Read it yourself.

[A]

Also, very believable, very plagiaristic. You were like, hey, Siri, can you tell me about the French. The French Revolutionary War? Here's what Google, bitch, I ain't asked Google, nigga, I asked you.

[C]

I find that I want to know

[A]

what Siri says about the Revolutionary War.

[C]

Google Assistant is, in my opinion, the elite assistant Alexa, followed by. Followed by Alexa, and at the tail

[A]

end is Bixby, and then after that is Jeez. Jeez is pretty smart.

[C]

I haven't used Jeeves in years.

[A]

I use Jeez on my phone.

[C]

You do not use Jeeves.

[A]

Well, this is. I. I put it on my phone for this very moment.

[C]

You put Jeeves on his phone to have an argument about you having Jeeves?

[A]

Cause I knew. I knew.

[C]

I had the foresight on your phone to have an argument about you and Jeeves.

[A]

I had the foresight to know that

[C]

this was you building arguments with me months in advance.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Also, this is Monet. That's not an app. You're on the website. You said you have. You don't say you don't. You don't have Jeeves on your phone. Bitch is going to the Website. I was born at night, but it wasn't last night.

[A]

Last night. Okay, I can finish all your little idioms.

[C]

First of all, that's a very common saying.

[A]

Okay, but you that common, nigga. You say it a lot.

[C]

Stuttering nigga.

[A]

You.

[C]

The gag is you stutter on this podcast too. I do not stutter. Let's see who stutters next, y', all, please. Who's gonna be the next one to stutter, is the question.

[A]

It's gonna be you, Will. It's gonna be me.

[C]

Nat. You about to break a sweat. I said you about to break a sweat. Break a sweat, Jacob.

[A]

Did he not just stutter?

[C]

Thank you. I said you bout to break a sweat.

[A]

No, you said you want to break a sweat.

[C]

There is ocul approved. I said you about to break a sweat.

[A]

No, you did not. There's ocular proof.

[C]

You listen slowly.

[A]

What?

[C]

You listen slowly. I don't.

[A]

I don't talk about witch claws out of my face. You could really hurt me with that.

[C]

And I choose not to keep that in mind, honey. Every time you walk away without a

[A]

scratch, I let you tight pussy, right me all night pussy.

[C]

Make you come leave your wife.

[A]

Make you leave your wife. Pussy.

[C]

Cuz it's what you like. I know you're tight pussy. You ride your like a bike.

[A]

Pussy it.

[C]

Do whatever you ask it to.

[A]

Nice pussy.

[C]

You know you know who. I'll tell you who's hating that after this break.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[E]

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[C]

Oh, God. That was by the poet laureate Lady.

[A]

Lady, I want to wear ladies now. Why don't you? All these people used to like do in their mixer. Why don't you. You should do a like Orville Peck stampede type album with like Alexis Campbell star, not Alex Campbell.

[C]

Alexis K. Tyler.

[A]

Alexis K. Tyler. Lady.

[C]

I. I've reached out to Alexis before. Years ago, if I was in Drag Race and she was really open to like meeting up and stuff. This was like years. I was like, I'm such a huge fan of yours. She's from Atlanta. I think she still lives in Atlanta. I'm pretty sure lady lives in Florida. I used to do Jackie B, who lives in Los Angeles.

[A]

Yeah. You should do a little, like, a little ep, like four tracks or five tracks of like, with all these. That would be kind.

[C]

I agree. Leslie Jones.

[A]

Leslie. Oh, yeah. Wait, what you did from Leslie Jones.

[C]

I used to do. She's her. Her bit about being tall. I'm a top shelf.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, one of my favorite. What's Cracker?

[C]

And you know, Marguerite Perrin likes me.

[A]

Who's Margaret Dark sided. Oh, well, she's like for the gays now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it was you.

[C]

No.

[A]

Keisha Carr through the number, she was like. I was. I think it's Adele Givens. You probably know the comedian. She's like, I was looking for dick everywhere. Dick in the freezer.

[C]

Yeah. Adele Givens is. Is from Queens of Comedy.

[A]

Yeah, that is from Queens of Comedy.

[C]

No, Adele Givens is from Queens of Comedy.

[A]

That bit is not from Queens of Comedy.

[C]

I don't think it is. No. I mean, it might be, but I can't remember for sure, but Adele Gibbons is one of my favorite comedians of all time.

[A]

If you have to put. I don't know if you want to do this. Who's your.

[C]

Some More.

[A]

Some More is a top favorite comedian of all time.

[C]

I really like Chris Rock's old stuff. Is really, really smart. Like, Chris Rock is a very good writer. I also really. I mean, I love Some More. I think she just fantastic. Wanda Sykes is a really good comedian. I think John Mulaney is really funny, which is a hard curveball. Hard left from everyone else I'm mentioning, but John Mulaney is really funny.

[A]

Jacob's gonna give us tongue twisters to see who's gonna.

[E]

So we're.

[A]

So. Just to be clear, we're erasing the goal because you did start a first of last time.

[C]

I did not.

[A]

Bob. There's literally proof of it.

[C]

I said, you about to be.

[A]

Okay. Y' all saw the footage. So this is.

[C]

Oh, you just stuttered.

[A]

No, I did not.

[C]

Like that song.

[A]

I didn't like it either.

[C]

I don't get everyone's gagging.

[A]

Well, do you?

[B]

I.

[C]

It gives me Kanye west scoop deep poop. Deep poop Doop. Scoop deep poop. Deep poop. Can't has a song like that, huh? He tried to sell a track to Drake, I want to say, but Drake didn't buy it. And then he was like, I'll just waste it then scoop de poop de boop.

[A]

Do you see how the Internet is just. Drake cannot catch. It's like Drake is done as a Kendrick Lamar he's done.

[C]

He'll be all right.

[A]

No, girl, did you see the new Halloween costume? Do we talk about this?

[C]

No.

[A]

There's a Halloween costume this year. This is probably gonna be the biggest one. BBL Drizzy. It's a thing of Drake with the ass out. And it's like a plastic booty. And it's like.

[C]

It's Drake UVL Drizzy.

[A]

Yes. With the. With the clips in his hair. And

[C]

someone should do be dressed as Kendrick Lamar dragging Drake by the ankle. Like, drag her.

[A]

Well, that's good.

[C]

What is Drake? I don't know. What? Drake wears hoodies. Does Drake have an iconic look?

[A]

I think those clips in his hair, that was a popular one.

[C]

I mean, Kendrick has the braids.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And the. And to be honest, I don't really

[A]

know what Kendrick Lamar looks like. When he came out for the Beyonce concert, I was like, who?

[C]

Like a tiny little short guy, kind of skinny with braids and a beat and like a, Like a little bit of a beard, kind of handsome.

[A]

I really appreciate Amazon celebrity women because, like, a lot of celebrity women you see, like, I met irl. I'm like, oh, wow, you're a tiny person. Like, you're a tiny.

[C]

And you don't respect them.

[A]

No, I don't respect him at all.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But then when I meet an Amazon celebrity woman, I just love it. Like, it's just So. I think A1 is so hot. It's so luxurious. It's just so empowering. Like Coco Jones. Coco Jones is like our height.

[C]

What?

[A]

My height? She's. We're the same height. She is 5, 10, 3/4 or something like that.

[C]

Who's Coco Jones?

[A]

ICU. A singer. R and B singer. Oh, yeah. Coco Jones. Leslie Jones. Oh, my God, Is it Jones?

[C]

Leslie Jones, about 6 foot 2? 6 foot 1?

[A]

Yeah. Leslie and I hung out at.

[C]

Oh, the Joneses.

[A]

I had Whoopi.

[C]

Osmosis Jones.

[A]

Such a good movie. Underrated. Did you like Osmosis Jones? Of course.

[C]

I was a big Chris Rock fan.

[A]

So good with. I need to watch that again.

[C]

Wasn't it Chris Rock?

[A]

It was Chris Rock.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But who was the pill guy?

[C]

I don't remember.

[A]

It was a popular white guy. Jake, can you look that up? The pill? Yeah, the pill. And Osmosis Jones, like, his. This is psychic.

[C]

I don't remember.

[A]

You don't remember the plot? I don't.

[C]

I vaguely remember Osmosis Jones. Like, vaguely.

[A]

So good. I watched that so many times.

[C]

I, I, I met Taylor Swift at a party once, and she we heard her and I were looking dead in each other's eyes.

[A]

Amazon girly.

[B]

Were you?

[A]

And you had your little heels on too. Well, she probably had a heel on as well.

[C]

She had a tall heel that I did.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

But still we were looking. We were looking into the eyes. There was no up, no down. I was like, oh, we are looking into each other's eyes.

[A]

Or this is right. Right after you fell in front of her.

[C]

This is before I fell.

[A]

Before you fell?

[C]

Yeah. Do you think I slipped?

[A]

Well, y' all said fell.

[C]

I mean, I didn't hit the ground, but I slipped.

[A]

You didn't or you did?

[C]

I didn't hit the ground. Oh, I slipped.

[A]

It was one of those, like you caught yourself.

[C]

I was holding the door and my. I stepped on my skirt, my leg slid and then my hot chocolate spilled on my arm.

[A]

Did you have your white coat on?

[C]

I was wearing a cream color shirt, but it was synthetic so it came out.

[A]

Got it?

[C]

Yeah. Ready?

[A]

Oh, the guy. Oh, oh.

[C]

David Hyde Pierce from. Where the fuck is he from? From Frasier. He's Frasier's.

[A]

He talks like this, right?

[C]

No, you're thinking of Kelsey Grammer.

[A]

No, but that's how the pill talked in the movie.

[C]

Oh, maybe he did a voice. Yeah, got it. But David Hyde Pierce is Kelsey Grammer's brother in Frasier.

[A]

I've never seen Frasier.

[C]

I'm gonna tell you a little thing I found out. Old black women love Frasier. I don't know what it is.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I do not know. Old black women love Frasier.

[A]

For all of you Gen Z ers out there is a 90s sitcom.

[C]

They know what Frasier is.

[A]

I don't think so.

[C]

They know what.

[A]

I barely know what Frasier is like. Do you know people also love Seinfeld? Naomi loves Seinfeld.

[C]

It was literally the most popular show.

[A]

I know, I know. I just. I never want. I have not seen a single episode of Seinfeld. You know what I have seen though?

[C]

Is this a New Yorker?

[A]

I am Carolina in the City. Remember that show? It was very short lived on like the up at 9 or something.

[C]

Carolina, the City.

[E]

City.

[C]

Who was that?

[A]

Carolina in the City. It was like a sitcom.

[C]

Carolina Ray.

[A]

No, it was just Carolina in the City.

[C]

I've heard of it, baby.

[A]

Yeah, it was very short. It was maybe like one or two seasons.

[C]

I just watched Spin City.

[A]

Spin City. I remember seeing that.

[C]

Whenever watched Davis Spade and I can't remember who else but Davis Spade was so good. You know David Spade is K spay's. Brother in law.

[A]

No, he's not.

[C]

Yes, he is, Bob.

[A]

He's not.

[C]

I bet money on it.

[A]

I don't want to bet money on it, but I don't think so.

[C]

Didn't bet money.

[A]

No, I'm not betting.

[C]

David Spade was Kate Spade's brother.

[A]

I think it's just you're doing a bit. I don't think it's.

[C]

David Spade was Kate Spade's brother in law.

[A]

Okay, Brother in law. Kate Spade also had two brand extensions. Oh, Spade married Andy. Okay, Brother in law. I knew they weren't blood.

[C]

I have been saying brother in law the whole time.

[A]

No, he didn't.

[C]

You said. Yes, I did. I said, kate, David Spade is Kate Spade's brother in law.

[A]

I just heard brother.

[C]

So would you like to apologize to me now? I don't. Would you like to apologize?

[A]

No, but you're wrong. But you were wrong about stuttering. Were you? And you. You. Yeah, yeah, you.

[C]

While you tried to call me out when I was not stuttering.

[A]

Anyways,

[C]

apologize to me. David Spade is. Was Kate Spade's brother in law. Is case.

[A]

I don't know if I'm being gaslit about the thing, but usually I did not hear brother in law. Maybe that's just me not being an activist.

[C]

You think you heard brother? That's what. That's. Let's call it what it is, y'. All.

[A]

Why was being so aggressive today?

[C]

All right, let's do some. Some tongue twisters, some limericks. Can I do the same? No, not a limerick.

[A]

I know. I like to do some limericks, though.

[C]

Can you give me a limerick?

[A]

Yeah. Pizza, pata venta panca D. No, do an actual limerick. I don't know.

[C]

Pick one up on the spot, on

[A]

the top of my head.

[C]

Make one up.

[A]

I can't think of any of them.

[C]

A queen went down to Rio to sip some Pinot Grigio she had some fun the bitch had won and now she is caprio. Oh, so now you may do one.

[A]

I am that bitch Monet. Oh, hey, what do you say? She sucked some dick and had a trick. I am going to parade.

[C]

Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's a limerick. Okay. Can you give me a sonnet? No, not sonnet. Haku.

[A]

Yeah. I love eating food.

[C]

Not a documentary.

[A]

It is delicious. My hair is gr. My hair is really. My hair is gray.

[C]

I am on a tour. We will see many more great things.

[A]

No, the two have to first have to rhyme.

[C]

No, no, no. There's two Haku's don't have to rhyme. Oh, I think I will. More. I think I will. Yes. No. Yes, I think I will.

[A]

There we go. There we go. Okay, the tongue twisters.

[C]

And we can't do the same tongue twisters. We have to do different because I don't want one of the copy off of my test. I'll start. No, just hate it to me. We'll read it.

[D]

One sock cutter, he cuts socks. No, no, I'm not done yet. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three sock cutters, they cut socks. Four sock cutters, they cut socks.

[C]

One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three cock suckers, they cut socks. Four sock cutters, they cut socks. But I didn't stutter. Now do it again. One sock cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three sock cutters, they cut socks. Four sock cutters, they cut socks dot Eight.

[A]

Okay, my memory is not that good. I can't say if I'm going to remember something that long, but I will try.

[C]

What's the number after seven? Say it. Ocho, what's Beyonce's favorite number and letter in Spanish? B11.

[A]

Wait, in Spanish? Is that in Spanish? B11 in Spanish likes when you say

[D]

in Spanish, I am a mother.

[C]

Beyonce likes when you say B11 in Spanish.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

I say B11 in Spanish.

[A]

I know. Beyonce. Got it. I can't.

[D]

I am a mother doesn't plucker.

[A]

I am a. I. I am a mother doesn't plucker mother.

[C]

I didn't get to do it right. I listened and then I said, okay, that's you.

[A]

You. That's you.

[C]

I. I listened and I said it.

[A]

Okay, that's how you play the game.

[D]

I am a mother pheasant plucker. I am the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker to have plucked a mother pheasant.

[A]

I am a mother pleasant fucker pluck. Oh, I am a mother pleasant muzzer. I am a mother pleasant plucker.

[C]

I am a mother peasant plucker. I. I am a mother.

[A]

Can I do my.

[C]

Can I do mine? Can you? Yeah, can I?

[A]

I am a mother pheasant plucker. I am a mother who likes to pluck pheasants. I am plucking pheasants.

[C]

I think it's. I am a. I am a mother pheasant plucker. What's the next line? Oh, I am a mother pheasant plucker. I am the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker.

[A]

Get it? You can't get it either. So I definitely had the harder one. That.

[C]

That's not true.

[A]

That is true.

[C]

Do mine then.

[A]

What was this again?

[C]

Go ahead.

[A]

One sock cutter, he sucked. One socket cutter, he cut socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks.

[C]

Basic cut socks. Up to four.

[A]

Three sock cutters, we all cut socks. Four sock cutters, the socks cut.

[C]

Four us. One sock cutter, he cuts socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three sock cutters, they cut socks. Four sock cutters, they cut socks. I am a pleasant mother, pheasant plucker. I am the most pleasant mother, pheasant, plucker there is to ever pluck a mother.

[A]

Peasants making stuff up.

[C]

I was close, though.

[A]

No, Bob, you know you're not.

[C]

I was in the neighborhood, but. But I didn't mix up father. Father mucking mother.

[A]

Can we. Can you? Then will you talk to the people?

[C]

To the Nick, the knickknack, the neck, to the freaking money. Click. Like, ow, ow. And

[A]

because I just have gagged it a few episodes ago, no one says New York, New York. The Patreon gather.

[C]

People like, no one say, your mail says New York.

[A]

I know, but you.

[C]

But I said Nick, and it was like, yeah, it's right there in your mouth. New York, New York.

[A]

No, but the point you were saying, when people go somewhere, they say the city and state. No one is. We know.

[C]

People say city and state up and down the Patreon.

[A]

People like, Bob is crazy.

[C]

What about talking about, say, Dallas, Texas?

[A]

We're not.

[C]

I say, I'm like, hey, I'm in Dallas, Texas. When I was there to go, dallas, Texas.

[A]

No one is saying if you don't say it. Your point in the podcast was saying that's how people state things.

[C]

I did not say everyone. I said people say. I didn't say people say it most. I didn't say people say it more often. I didn't say people say it more. I said, people say Dallas, Texas. Yeah, but then I responded to podcast, I said, yes, but the point was no one says Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[A]

Wait, a specific one. Oh, yeah. Someone said, we don't say Atlanta, Georgia. We just say Atlanta. And if we mention New York, we call it by the borough. And I am from New York.

[C]

I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. So this person, I want to know. I don't know where they're from in Atlanta, Georgia.

[A]

Okay. Because we do say, okay, next person. Bob. I have never heard anyone say New York, New York. They say New York City is in.

[C]

The song is up to you. New York, New York. So you never heard that song Y', all. So you never said the letter y'.

[E]

All.

[A]

He will never concede to this because

[C]

people say Dallas, Texas. People say Atlanta, Georgia. People say Columbus, Georgia, and people say New York and New York. But the point was, I don't hear people say Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, like people say Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but I've never heard anyone say Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with major cities.

[A]

I have literally never say the state. Side note. Bob was singing that falsetto note, though.

[C]

I ate.

[A]

Anyway, let's take a break, because Bob

[C]

would definitely take a break while we were sitting here in Red Bank, New Jersey. Close your eyes, exhale.

[A]

Feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe.

[B]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[A]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[C]

1-800-contacts. And we are back recording from Red Bank, New Jersey.

[A]

Ooh, that tastes so.

[D]

That. That.

[C]

That tasted.

[A]

Is so good.

[C]

Well, that's our own monation. Probably as delusional as you.

[A]

Okay, we've established. I literally pulled up a screenshot one time, and I read it on podcast how the bobbleheads. Literally, someone from your bobbleheads was like, I know Monet is right, but I will literally never concede to Monet.

[C]

So that's how your will behave. You got one. One problematic bobblehead.

[A]

One also. You agree that they're problematic.

[C]

They probably were. Yeah. I admit that there are people who are in. Bobbleheads can be problematic. You act like your monation can't possibly be problematic.

[A]

That's not true.

[C]

There's nothing they could possibly do.

[A]

I never said.

[C]

You admit there are problematic monation people. Yeah, after I admitted it. After I pointed it out to you. I call mine out. I call mine out.

[A]

Jacob, is this.

[C]

You let them run a mug deal with all day, every day. I have a microphone. Do not force. Do not try to get. You know, they don't like when people talk off camera. You know that that is the one

[A]

nation we understand when Jacob doesn't have a microphone, we don't demand things of Jacob. We're like, oh, Jacob doesn't have mic today. You know what? We'll be okay.

[C]

Every single person who's ever been like, I would like to hear Jake.

[A]

They're all Bobbleheads. Because the bobbleheads are demanding, they are

[C]

surly smart and they are mean, wise, correct, intelligent.

[A]

No one is saying not intelligent.

[C]

I'm going to give you. Oh, I want. There's this game I want to play. Jacob, can you look up black acronyms on TikTok? I want to see how well you can do with black acronyms. With black Black. You might type in blackrons or maybe black.

[A]

Oh, and it's like a bunch of letters. Like what does it say? I see those periodically.

[C]

How do you think you'll do?

[A]

They'll do pretty well.

[C]

Now you can't be like that must be Southern. Which, by the way, I love everyone called you out that you do do that. Yes. And you got gathered. No, they gathered you on the hands on your chin.

[A]

They also gathered you on something else

[C]

over here on your chinny chin chin.

[A]

The gag is which I can pull the hands on your face.

[C]

I've seen them on your face in full drag too. Because what you all don't see is I see the hd. I see it up close in person now. Okay, what is this one? Your friend calls you and says that people are lying on your name and. And you respond, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what I don't. I don't give a fuck what a. Has what a bitch got to say as I don't give a fuck what a got to say about me. About me. I know what the fuck I did and what the I didn't do. Would you have gotten that one, Jacob?

[A]

Hell no. You would never do another one.

[C]

I screen grabbed it. Oh, do another one, Jake. I screen grabbed so you can put it in the meteor chat. And they gathered Jay the other day for leaving in the.

[A]

Okay, but so what I want to say about that in the public episode is not there. But on the Patreon. We don't censor things for Patreon.

[C]

I said something rude to your mom and she replied, I will sit.

[A]

I will. I will slap the.

[C]

I will.

[A]

I will slap the. Out your fucking. Out your.

[C]

Wait, hold on. I will slap the what?

[A]

I will slap the something out your face.

[C]

IWSB I said something rude to your mom and she replied, I wish.

[A]

No, I would slap the something out your face.

[C]

No, I will. I wish I will slap the.

[A]

So y'. All. For those listening, it's I I w s T B O y F then most I will.

[C]

I'm upset. I read it so fluently. I've never seen a sacrament before. But why Did I get it? I will slap the taste. No, I wish.

[E]

What?

[C]

You said something rude to your mom and she replied, what is it? Why is no one saying what it is?

[A]

You know, TikTok, you gotta scroll a few. No, I will.

[D]

I will.

[A]

Oh, I'll psycho the black off you.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I've never heard. I'll stop the black.

[A]

I never heard face. Oh, I. I've heard. I was. I will slap. I will slap the black out the black off you. Yeah, but not. But not face.

[C]

I've never heard. I'll slap the black off your face. That I've never heard.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Must be a northern thing.

[A]

No.

[C]

Something you guys must say. In New York City, we don't say.

[A]

I like this blush you're wearing today.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Why you got so much attitude?

[C]

I'd do it. I'll do one more. Okay. Only black people.

[A]

You about to kick someone out your house and you say, D, N, L, T D, H, Y W, T, G, L, S Y. Do not let the.

[C]

Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You ever got that one, Jacob? Don't let the doorknob hit you with

[A]

a good lord split you.

[C]

Which is your butt crack.

[A]

Yeah. Butts are.

[C]

Well, the Coneheads didn't have butt cracks.

[A]

They did not. Another great 90s movie.

[C]

Sometimes I feel I've got to break up. I did this Dan Aykroyd.

[A]

I don't know the lady's name. She's in a lot of movies in that time, though.

[C]

You find out who was in Coneheads

[A]

and who's the daughter? I can't picture. I can't pull her face. Oh, Chris Farley. David Spade.

[C]

David Spade. The brother in law to Kate Spade. Which you acknowledge you were wrong about. Correct. No. Wow. You went out. You can't even say out loud. You're wrong.

[A]

No, not to you.

[C]

I've noticed that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I always say when I wrong, like, yeah, I was wrong about that.

[A]

And I'm so happy for you.

[C]

You cannot say out loud that you're wrong.

[A]

I'm so happy for you.

[C]

You did that feel like growth to you?

[A]

I don't need to go around you.

[C]

Are you proud of that?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Interesting.

[C]

Who else was in Coneheads?

[A]

Okay. Dan Aykroyd was bell. Oh, Jane Curtin. I didn't know that was a name. Michelle Burke. Wait, where's Michelle Burke from Coneheads? I know, but I feel like I've seen it. Other side. Oh, Sinbad. Right? He was in there.

[C]

Oh, Sinbad.

[A]

Jason Alexander. He was in Seinfeld.

[C]

Jason Alexander wasn't Seinfeld.

[A]

And Lisa Jane. I don't know who this character even is in the movie Persky.

[C]

You know, J. Alexander was also like the page in Cinderella.

[A]

Yeah. With Whoopi Goldberg and Brandy and. But the dad who. He. He was Victor Garber.

[C]

No, no, he was Asian.

[A]

No, the dad was Asian. No, the dad was not. Whoopy Goldberg son was Asian.

[C]

Was Asian.

[A]

Yeah, the dad was.

[C]

It was Victor Garber. Yeah, Victor Garber. And Whoopi Goldberg had an Asian son.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes.

[C]

And he wanted to marry in my

[A]

own little corner in my own little chair.

[C]

You're one of those folks who stans Brandi.

[A]

I love Brandi. Brandi was my first. Oh, my God. I never think I've told you this. Brandy was my first love of music. Because when I got enough money to buy my own, my ever my own first cd, it was the Brandy Never say never album.

[C]

What happened to Britney?

[A]

Brandy was before Britney. This was when I was 9 years old and I saved, made, had enough allowance. I brought my Brandy album and I would listen to track number nine. Have you ever. Over and over and over again, Bob. And I would lay down in my bed.

[C]

You told me this.

[D]

And cry.

[C]

You told us to.

[A]

Have you ever.

[C]

How old are you?

[D]

9.

[C]

Had you experienced love like this? No, I ain't never had a love like this. I was like, that's not how the song goes. That's. That's just not the song. My first album was the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And I bumped it and bumped it and bumped it and then, baby, you don't even want to know about the time I had when I was obsessed with the new. The new nation.

[A]

I don't know that even.

[C]

Kirk Franklin.

[A]

Oh, is that Stomp album.

[C]

It's also something by the name Jesus

[A]

Allen. He's so good, though.

[C]

And I love it. I love Rest in Peace to Rance Allen. Did he pass? He did. When? Maybe like 20, I'm going to guess and Jacob will look it up. I'm going to say Rance Allen passed away in 2013. 21. Oh, no.

[A]

Was it Covid?

[C]

I don't know. He was a man of a certain age, so he was right.

[A]

I feel like he's been old forever, though. His little chubby.

[C]

So 2020 it was Covid.

[A]

Probably. We'll see.

[C]

Who knows.

[A]

You know, I know you have. Did you watch while you were painting? No. You're too busy talking.

[C]

I was talking to Jay Jordan. Yeah, who, by the way, you also check out Jay Jordan J is going to have a video for my YouTube page pretty soon.

[A]

We, we.

[C]

We finally find out. Do black people like crumble cookies?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Did y' all sample some?

[D]

We.

[C]

We tried some.

[A]

Oh, you're not going to tell me.

[C]

You got to go and find out.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

I'll tell you.

[A]

I had crumble cookies one time. I was somewhere and Mormon owned. Are they Mormon?

[C]

I tried to get them on Sunday. I couldn't get them.

[A]

They have a new one, but is it Mormons?

[C]

Often Mormon's own crumble cookies.

[A]

Honestly, I didn't know Mormons took Sundays off. Like, Jesus chicken. Is Jesus chicken Mormon or is it Christian?

[C]

No, it's regular Christians.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Normal Christians.

[A]

I had crumbl cookies one time and it was. I mean, I didn't have a terrible experience, but I didn't leave. Like, oh, my God, these are delicious. They just opened up a new one for, like, savory things. It's like the pie version of it. Like savory pies for crumbled. The crumbled version of savory pies. Same marketing. Yeah, like, and it's only. It started in Salt Lake. So that makes sense.

[C]

Like slty. Because of. Because of the salt and savory. What do you mean? It makes sense because it started in Salt Lake City.

[A]

The Mormons, Bob. The Mormons.

[C]

Oh, I thought because of the salt and it was savory. That would actually make a lot. That'd be clever. You don't think that'd be clever to have it Salt?

[A]

No, I don't.

[C]

Is the lake salty?

[A]

Is there. Is there a great lake?

[C]

I don't think lakes have salt in them.

[A]

Yeah, they're fresh water.

[D]

That is true. Specifically, the morin one has salt in it. And the reason they settled there is because no one else wanted to live there because the lake was salty and gross. So they, like, built other irrigation systems. But yes, it is a salt lake. It is rare. It is a natural phenomenon. But that lake is very salty.

[A]

Gathered again. Does Jacob need to gather you?

[C]

Jacob, you are the one who was like, they're fresh water. So who's gathered?

[A]

Yeah, but he gathers.

[C]

You're the one who's like, it's fresh.

[A]

But you said that. Are they. Y' all know that, that, that high pitch, Bob.

[C]

Are they, you know, like, yeah, they're fresh water. So who really got gathered?

[A]

Jacob gathered you.

[C]

Answer that question.

[A]

Jacob gathered you.

[C]

Who really got gathered?

[A]

Oh, they going over. They go, oh, so now.

[C]

So.

[A]

So now she's trilingual. Now she's trilingual.

[C]

Who's been stuttering the most?

[A]

You.

[C]

You, Stanley, you started first.

[A]

You, Stanley, you started first.

[C]

I did not.

[A]

Bob stutter. There is literally proof of it. Jacob even confirmed proof of you being

[C]

wrong about Kate Spade. And you literally won't say it out

[A]

loud, but Jacob confirmed that you stutter.

[C]

Jacob did not confirm.

[A]

Jacob, did you not confirm it earlier when I asked if Bob stuttered on that word? Y' all are.

[D]

Y'.

[E]

All.

[C]

Y' all see how they.

[A]

Y' all see how they work?

[C]

All of a sudden Jacob goes, he

[A]

doesn't have a microphone, I bet.

[C]

Well, don't talk to Jacob like that. You're mad because he gathered you about the salt lake.

[A]

Like at the be baby, you were

[C]

like, it's French Warner.

[A]

First of all, I'm not nasal like you.

[C]

It's French water.

[A]

Do you find Andy has a nasal voice? Doesn't Andy talk very nasally?

[C]

I don't really think about Andy's voice like that. No, Andy does sound. Andy sounds kind of guttural, actually.

[A]

Listen to Andy. You're not listening. Andy was talking like, you know, because, you know, he's like, yeah, I guess

[C]

I haven't given it. I don't think any of his voice is particularly unique. You know what I mean? Like, especially think about nasally. But I think I, like Nick Smith and Mateo Lane have nasally voices.

[A]

Well, Nick is here. Nick is on, like, literally on the other side of the spectrum. It's kind of wild. Yeah, Their voices are particularly particularly nasal. I mean, when he's like, when. When Mateo's whining, he gets very nasal.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Horrible. I ran to Kyle last night. Kyle, Mariah.

[A]

Oh, my God. How is Kyle?

[C]

Looks great. And just finished up a tour. And Ty.

[A]

Ty. Kyle will tour.

[C]

Well, she. Well, she was on. She don't row anymore.

[A]

Kyle's staying on.

[C]

She left the Lion King.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that voice is really up there. You're like, bob, I literally can't even imitate Kyle's voice because it's so high pitched.

[A]

Remember his mom, Sandy? Amazing.

[C]

But yeah, Kyle's voice is really in a different genre of a. So high pitched.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I. Kyle can sing. Sing.

[A]

Yes. I have a goal for us.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

We have to one up Las Costa Ricas.

[C]

Well, we. We won the Glam the Glad award over there.

[A]

And let me tell you something.

[C]

That was our asses.

[A]

That was the last accolade we will ever have on the last culture. They had Mariah Carey on the show.

[C]

I don't really like doing interviews, though. You know, I don't like them. You can do them.

[A]

You can do it without me. No, we.

[C]

But interview. I don't want. I'm like.

[A]

But we have her. We've had guests. We're not. We don't interview him. Mariah doesn't have to. She was also not being interviewed. She was just. Literally just a third on the podcast.

[C]

I just hate interviewing people. I don't care enough about what they're saying to interview. There's nothing answering. I don't care enough about people to interview them. I mean, I could ask. I just don't like. Okay, well, we're not.

[A]

We're not going to interview. We're just have them a third and just be kicking.

[C]

I love a third. Right, Jacob?

[A]

You know, every time y', all, I think about y'. All. I just think about that story of Jacob slapping that booty. It will. It was integrated. It's so cute.

[C]

You should have been there for it.

[A]

Y' all didn't invite me.

[C]

Jacob. Smack that ass.

[A]

Should you? Should you? Should you? Jacob, Andy and I. A twink tonight.

[C]

Like, like, all of us.

[A]

All four of us.

[C]

Do you want to find one?

[A]

I'm sure you sure will have one.

[C]

Are you trying to. Like, are you trying to. Are we trying to. One at a time.

[A]

Oh, no. All four of us gonna be setting up, and that twink is going to be on his. On his knees, and he's sucking all of our dicks.

[C]

Okay. You know, I don't think that you and I have that kind of friend. Why?

[A]

We could be.

[C]

I. I think about people who are friends of mine that I could hook up with. Like, not necessarily me and that person hook up. We could. We could.

[A]

I know. Together. Yeah.

[C]

I could do that with Naomi. Well, wait, no, hold on, hold on.

[A]

Why can't you and I do it together?

[C]

I could do that with Layla McQueen.

[A]

Why can't you and I do it?

[C]

Let me just start my. Finish my list, please. I could do that with Layla McQueen.

[A]

I feel like I can't even. I can't intend to listen because I want to know the answer to my question.

[C]

Well, then this is for the listeners. I could probably do that with Zach Noy Towers. No, Not Mitch. No.

[A]

Okay, can you tell us why I

[C]

got to do a Kesha Carr 2 face? Well, I just feel like you and I, it's just not part of our dynamic. You know, it could be. It could be. You're right. It could be. Are you trying to slam someone with me.

[A]

I would.

[C]

You would?

[A]

I would.

[C]

Jacob's right here.

[A]

Let's do it.

[C]

You trying to top Jacob?

[A]

Let's do it.

[C]

See, that's not. That's not enthusiastic. Yes. Sure. I'm looking for an enthusiastic yes. I had a guy in my bed the other day, and I was like. He was like. I said, you know, I gotta be honest with you. I'm really looking for an enthusiastic yes. And otherwise, I don't think we're gonna be able to have any fun this evening.

[A]

And I was that enthusiastic. Is that enthusiastic yes? For two things. One, like, to make sure it is 100 consent.

[C]

And it feels sexier. Like. Like, who wants pathetic sex that's not hot?

[A]

Some people into that, I guess.

[C]

I mean, and I'm not here to kink shame. Unless you're. Don't kink shame. Unless your kink is kink shaming, then by all means, king shame. But it just feels hotter when someone's like, is actively, terribly interested in having sex.

[A]

I'm so interested in how rape kink like, works. I'm like, if the person. Because that is the thing. A fetish. And I'm like, I don't think I would engage in that. Because I'm like, I would be so nervous that what is happening here? You know what I mean? No.

[C]

Okay. It's called non consensual.

[A]

There we go. Consensual.

[C]

Non, consent.

[A]

So, like, what is the. Like, how do.

[C]

Well, there's safe words. There's always safe words, right? If you're engaging in anything that's. That's about not asking for consent or things that involve pain or things that involve blood or stuff like that. Typically, there's a safe word that you use, and a safe word should be a word that would never come up during sex. So your safe word would be like.

[D]

Stop.

[C]

No, please don't. Those are not harder. A safe word would be something like banana rutabaga. Betty White.

[A]

I want you to use my Me. Andy. Have a safe word for like. For, like, bits. Do you and Jacob have a safe word for bits? Because you're always doing a good bit, so I can imagine.

[C]

Well, you took my safe word, which is rutabaga.

[A]

How did I take your safe word? You think I'm in you and Jacob's bedroom.

[C]

How did you know my safe word?

[A]

How do you know my safe word?

[C]

Because I used to joke to myself, where was rutabaga?

[A]

No.

[C]

And you've also. You've accidentally sold a lot of bits from me.

[A]

Over the years. That is not true.

[C]

That is 100 true.

[A]

Anyway, so you accidentally not. Not a single one.

[D]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

So roll that beautiful bean footage.

[A]

So what do you and Jacob. Do you have a safe word for bits?

[C]

No, we don't have safe word for. It was rudabaga.

[A]

For sex, too.

[C]

We don't have a safer. We don't engage in sex like that. You say you have one for bits. You have a real one.

[A]

No.

[C]

So you just, like, do whatever you want. Do what you want with my body? Yeah.

[A]

If I don't like something, I'm pretty forcible. Like, no, I'm not into that. Like, I'm not. I'm not shy.

[C]

But the point of a safe word is not. You feel.

[A]

But I'm not doing type of sex that. That I need a safeword like that.

[C]

Okay, but I'm just. To be clear, the point of a safeword is not because you're just so shy that you get it.

[A]

I don't have one in my sex. Because other sex.

[C]

Okay, maybe they don't know you. Let me describe it to them so you don't have to cut me off when I'm talking.

[A]

Well, you would.

[C]

That'd be so nice.

[A]

But you said. You tell me about my safe word.

[C]

I'm not talking about your. I'm talking about the point of safe words, not your safe word. What I'm saying is the point of a safe word is not to you because you're so shy.

[A]

I know that. Let me.

[C]

I'm saying I know this motherfucking sentence. The point of a safe word is not because you're so shy that you just can't stand up for yourself. It is because you're engaging in a type of sexual activity where maybe standing up for yourself is part of the sexual act, but you're supposed to break through their barrier and act like it doesn't happen.

[A]

I know, but we're talking about.

[C]

Okay, I'm talking to them.

[A]

No, but now we were talking about me. We're literally talking about me and you switch it over.

[C]

But in this one, I said. I just said, I know, but I'll

[A]

say we're talking about my thing and you flipped it. Okay, bitch.

[C]

You know. You know.

[A]

Oh, my. Dad, can I have five minutes of my podcast?

[C]

Do you think Beyonce knows everything that she knows? No, she knows. No, you know she knows. No, everyone's saying that Beyonce knows something about the Diddy stuff, but, like, she knows something. People really want Beyonce to go down. I don't know why people really want Beyonce.

[A]

I always root for success with him.

[C]

There's a chance that she just doesn't know. Honestly, there's a chance she just genuinely has no clue and does not fuck with him like that.

[A]

Right, Right.

[C]

Why do people want Beyonce to be a part of something nefarious? She's an Illuminati. She's worshiped the devil.

[A]

I mean, it's not even Beyonce. It's just like, a lot all celebrities. The.

[C]

There's.

[A]

There's countless videos online about all these celebrities are in this secret. Have you seen a new one about how, like, Ellie has a secret. These secret underground tunnels that all celebrities use? Elliot La.

[C]

Oh, like they have Elliott Page. That's crazy.

[A]

These secret underground tunnels. Apparently they all use them. If you. And you have to be like, the top, top, top 1%. And they have like, Starbucks is down there. And yet it's like an NDA to work down there. I'm like, it's kind of fierce. I don't think that's true.

[C]

But also, I wouldn't want to work down there because I can't imagine if it is one down there. Like, how often are you getting visitors? Like, how frequently. I wish you would just plug in the microphone. It would make our lives so much easier. Why have you not been invited to this thing?

[A]

You know, because they don't. They don't allow Saint Lucians to do it. You have to be American celebrity.

[C]

I heard that the St. Lucia know who won the Olympics is down.

[A]

There she is. Girl, When I tell you, roll out the.

[C]

Do a lot of St. Lucia. So what's up?

[A]

No, I thought you said down. I thought you meant Saint Lucia.

[C]

She's down on the.

[A]

In the underground. Julian Alfred finally went back to St. Lucia after winning the gold medal for St. Lucia. Bitch. They had a motorcade for her that was like 12 hours long from the south of the island to the north of the island. They gave her a million dollars. They gave her a plot of land. They gave her all this stuff.

[C]

I was like, a plot of land?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

They gave her a home.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

What the fuck was that for you?

[A]

She won a gold medal for the island.

[C]

Okay. Oh, I guess other families. You're so childish and irritating. The first time. You actually caught me sluttering the first time. And I was about to say something nice about you, but you know what? I'm not saying anything nice about you anymore. I take it back. You deserve whatever you got when you showed up in St. Lucia. Whatever you got, you deserved it.

[A]

Oh, so. So if y' all don't know. Bob is on his world tour and I came to join the tour to see the show. I haven't seen you so long. Wanted to get some FaceTime with you and hold your big ass.

[C]

Pinky. This is a normal size pinky.

[A]

No, it's not. Look at that.

[C]

When you do that. This Andy at the gym that Andrew was like. I was like, you have giant hands. And I was like, my hands are way smaller. Also, Andy has, like, Fred Funstone feet.

[A]

I know he has. He has big, wide feet.

[C]

He was. Yeah, but that was shoes.

[A]

My feet are smaller than his.

[C]

Everyone's feet. They're just. It looks like a cartoon drawing on foot. Imagine. And when I say Fred Flintstone feet, it literally looks like French nose feet. You know, those Hulk gloves. But feet Thompson. This is crazy.

[A]

He is very wide. And they're wide. They're wide, they're big. They're long.

[C]

They're not soft.

[A]

They are soft. Actually. Andy has very soft feet.

[C]

His foot brushed up against me. Raspberry.

[A]

No, he has soft feet. He has soft feet and hands. Do you know what I found out? Soft feet and hands are genetic. They are to find, like, your teeth are genetic. Also. Not completely genetic, but a lot of, like, things you have.

[C]

It's all genetic. Your whole body is genetic.

[A]

I know, but you're having a.

[C]

You're like. Did you know a big nose is genetic?

[A]

A predisposition to having soft feet and hands is in your. I went to weight shaming.

[C]

Yeah. But he doesn't work at industry anymore, and I want to ask him how his hands are so soft.

[A]

He does have very soft.

[C]

He's very fit. So he's clearly lifting weights. Yeah, obviously he's lifting weights. How are. What gloves. What are the gloves.

[A]

He's wearing Bobby, y'.

[E]

All.

[A]

Bobby's obsessive about wearing gloves when he works out to maintain his soft little hand.

[C]

I would never. People who work out without gloves don't love themselves.

[A]

It is a little rough to watch.

[C]

People who work out without gloves do not love themselves, in my humble opinion.

[A]

Yeah, it's a little rough. Especially when you see, like. Yeah.

[C]

What time is it? I got to get to the show.

[D]

We have. Yeah, we can wrap it up.

[C]

Oh, okay. No, we. Okay. We have 10 minutes. Show. Sorry.

[A]

Wait. The show starts and you going to start getting ready while the show is started? Because your openers. Opener.

[C]

Just want to. Yeah. Again, the hilarious J. Jordan, who you all should be checking out online right this very second.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I guess I should probably start Getting ready.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, yeah, y'.

[A]

All, our presidential palette is out here. If you want to support a very iconic, sickening, one of a kind stunt palette, our president, the Bulma Beauty presidential palette, the 46 Pan Eyeshadow Palette is out now.

[C]

Yes. You can go to bomabeauty.com and pick it up. And it's very limited, but there's only 300 of them. Yeah, so. So this is really just like a stunt palace.

[A]

It really is.

[C]

There's not a ton available, but if you. But if you get one, you get one. And the proceeds go to drag out the vote. Getting the information out there about how to vote, why you should vote, they have voting guides, lots of really remarkable things to help you. Because I just voted, there's a lot of stuff on there. I had to do a lot of research.

[A]

100%.

[C]

A lot of. Because California does a lot of propositions.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A lot of Prop HH&AR and QVC and LMNOP. And I voted on down the ballot. Every single thing. It took me a minute. Took me a minute.

[A]

But it's good.

[C]

But I proudly got to wear my

[A]

little sticker by the presidential palette. Support. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Local Beaumont beauty girls. I was doing a thing. I was not sitting on the.

[C]

You were definitely doing the thing.

[A]

I was like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Anyway, peace, y'. All.

[E]

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