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Like many teenagers who had a lovely upbringing in a safe suburb with kind parents and many friends, I was often miserable. I spent many evenings with my cassette Walkman, just the two of us, listening to do me English music like Depeche Mode and thinking that no one else understood or could possibly understand just how deep I was. I specifically recall one of my friend's mums looking at my miserable face and saying, cheer up, it might never happen. To which I responded, too late, it already has. And I was so pleased with this response that I probably would have smiled had smiling not already become physically impossible for me. There is a kind of sadness or melancholy which is delicious and addictive, which can make us feel special and yes, even superior to others. A kind of misery that if we give ourselves over to it, takes tips into self indulgence and self pity. But you can also fall off the horse the other way. You can mistake being chipper for being godly. You can start to believe that Christians have no right to be sad about anything because everything will be Okley Dokely in the end. I'm afraid this poor theology has infected many of our churches, and it's nowhere more obvious than in the songs we often sing. Some songs have so little gravity that NASA could use them to train astronauts in it's not that we shouldn't sing songs of joy, of course we should. But where are the songs of Lament? It can sometimes seem as if Christians don't have permission to be unhappy, to have regrets, to feel broken, to express deep sorrow, or to lament, which would have been used to the writers of Scripture. The major giveaway being that there is literally a book of the Bible called Lamentation. The Psalms, the Bible's very own songbook, has an entire genre called Psalms of Lament. There are more Psalms of Lament than there are psalms of any other kind. In fact, a whole third of them are lamentation of one kind or another. For example, how long, O Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? Remember, these are intended to be sung. Or take this awake why are you sleeping? O Lord, rouse yourself. Do not reject us forever. Why do you hide your face? Why do you forget our affliction and oppression? The fact that we're more likely to sing songs with all the emotional range of a smiling emoji really does seem to indicate that many churches and many Christians are, emotionally speaking, completely out of tune with God's inspired word. Perhaps we feel that to admit to feeling sadness is to let the side down, or worse, to let Jesus down. And yet Jesus himself lamented we read that in the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus became greatly distressed, troubled and sorrowful even, that he was emotionally in agony. And all this before he ever reached the cross. And though Jesus did rebuke people for pretending to be sad, I mean, thinking here of the religious types who wanted everyone to notice that they were fasting, Jesus never rebuked people for actually being sad. Yes, of course we do not despair as those who have no hope. That's what Paul says in 1st Thessalonians 4 as long as Christ is alive, we do have hope. But we also grieve. As Paul also says in Romans 12, we must weep with those who weep, which clearly indicates that a there will be people in our midst who are quite rightly weeping for any number of reasons, and that b it is not good pastoral practice to tell them to cheer up. We follow one who is described as a man of sorrows, despised, rejected, unbeautiful, one who was very well acquainted with the language of lamentation. So much so that at the very moment of his death he quoted a psalm of lament my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? God has given us these words of lament so that we would know that our expressions of sadness and grief are welcomed, heard, and understood, that we are not forgotten in our sorrow any more than his son was in his. I'm Barry Cooper, and this has been, simply put, a podcast from Ligonier Ministries. Discover more@simplyputpodcast.com Ligonier creates resources to help Christians know what they believe, why they believe it, how to live it, and how to share it. You can find these resources@ligonier.org.
Host: Barry Cooper
Date: May 26, 2026
In this episode, Barry Cooper explores the biblical and theological concept of "lamentation." He addresses a common misconception among Christians: that expressing sadness or brokenness is somehow unspiritual, or that believers should always appear cheerful. Using Scripture and personal anecdotes, Cooper explains the importance and legitimacy of lamenting, demonstrating that it is both biblical and Christlike to give voice to sorrow, regret, and grief.
Barry Cooper’s approach is conversational and gently humorous, accessible yet deeply rooted in biblical exegesis. He uses vivid illustrations and sarcasm (“Okley Dokely,” “songs of so little gravity that NASA could use them to train astronauts”) to make his points memorable and emphasize the emotional range permitted—indeed encouraged—in Christian experience.
Cooper’s message is clear: lamentation is not a lack of faith. Rather, it is a biblically sanctioned, theologically sound, and pastorally necessary part of Christian life. God welcomes honest sorrow, and Christians follow a Savior who lamented and was called “a man of sorrows.” Cooper invites listeners to reclaim the practice of lament—both for themselves and in their churches.