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What happens when the God you've trusted lets you down? When prayers for healing go unanswered and the unthinkable happens? Elise Adams walks us through her raw, honest journey through both infertility and the sudden loss of her father to cancer.

After years of fertility treatments and heartbreak, Elise and her husband Michael welcomed their miracle baby William. Their faith had grown stronger through the waiting. But just when life seemed perfect, her father was diagnosed with stage four liver cancer and passed away just two weeks later. The finality of this loss—coupled with confusion about why God didn't heal him—sent Elise spiraling away from faith.

"I didn't want to sing songs about the goodness of God," she shares candidly. "He wasn't good to me. He didn't heal my dad, and he could have." For nearly five years, Elise walked away completely. During this time, she unexpectedly became pregnant twice more without medical intervention, which only complicated her feelings. How could she be grateful to the God she was angry with?

The turning point came through reading about God's heart for sufferers and a startling realization that she had become a "reverse evangelist"—actively discouraging others from faith. "I learned that God is gentle and lowly," Elise explains. "Mercy comes second nature to Him. He was just waiting for me to come back."

This conversation offers profound insights into grief, the questions we ask when God doesn't answer as expected, and the patient love that waits for our return. Whether you're walking through loss, questioning God's goodness, or supporting someone who is, you'll find wisdom, comfort, and hope in Elise's journey back to faith.

Check out the book that was a turning point in Elise’s journey: GENTLE AND LOWLY, THE HEART OF CHRIST FOR SINNERS AND SUFFERERS by Dane Ortlund.

Deep Drink: The Journey Back from Pain, Loss, and Disappointment

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