In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Riana Malia explore how old relationship patterns, identity shifts, and unconscious beliefs can keep women stuck in cycles that no longer match the lives they are trying to build. Riana is a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner whose work helps women break long-standing relational patterns and create deeper, more authentic connection. They look at what happens when women have done the inner work, moved through sobriety, divorce, reinvention, or major life transitions, and are ready for relationships that reflect who they are now — not who they used to be.

The conversation opens up big questions about why high-achieving women can be so successful, strategic, and clear in their careers, yet still feel confused or stuck in love, dating, friendships, family dynamics, or partnership. Why do the same patterns keep repeating? What is the difference between knowing a pattern intellectually and actually releasing it from the body? How do childhood beliefs, unconscious programming, and old identities shape the way women choose, attach, perform, shrink, over-function, or settle in relationships?

Riana explains how neuroscience, somatic awareness, identity work, and emotional release come together in her Clear to Create method. She talks about clearing old stories, cycles, resentment, loss, limiting beliefs, and emotional charge so that women can create confidence, partnership, love, and a life that feels aligned. The episode also explores why “I don’t want this anymore” can still keep attention fixed on the very thing someone is trying to avoid, how the unconscious mind drives so many relationship patterns, and why replacing old neurology matters just as much as understanding it. Riana also shares practical tools, including her “Magnet for Miracles” exercise and a 72-hour rubber-band practice designed to interrupt negative thought loops and redirect attention toward what is actually desired.

Riana shares the life experiences that shaped her work — growing up with a distant father, being forced to become resourceful at 18, entering a lonely young marriage, navigating a painful divorce, moving across the country, losing financial security, and eventually finding herself in a relationship that became her line-in-the-sand moment. Her story traces the path from survival and self-abandonment to clarity, self-trust, and becoming available for a different kind of love. She also shares how doing this work changed her own life and helped her become ready for the healthy partnership she once thought would never happen for her.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

Highlights

[00:01:00] Riana Malia is introduced as a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner helping women break old relationship patterns.

[00:02:00] Riana shares the early experience of being left without college housing support and learning how to become resourceful.

[00:03:00] She describes getting three jobs, renting a house, and staying in school despite having no clear path forward.

[00:04:00] Riana talks about marrying young, feeling lonely in marriage, and becoming a mother.

[00:05:00] She opens up about the fear, anger, and volatility that followed her divorce.

[00:06:00] Riana explains the decision to move to California despite every instinct telling her not to.

[00:08:00] She recounts the DEA investigation that upended her life and froze the assets she was relying on.

[00:09:00] Riana describes choosing to stay in California to keep her promise to her daughter.

[00:10:00] She shares the “never again” moment that led her to stop shrinking, performing, and abandoning herself in relationships.

[00:11:00] Riana introduces her Clear to Create method and explains why people have to clear old stories before creating a new life.

[00:12:00] She explains how unconscious patterns keep people repeating the same relationships, jobs, money patterns, or family dynamics.

[00:14:00] Riana talks about becoming ready to receive healthy love after clearing old toxic patterns.

[00:16:00] She uses a dinner order metaphor to explain why clarity, specificity, values, desires, and non-negotiables matter.

[00:18:00] Riana explains why high-achieving women can feel confident at work but stuck in relationships.

[00:19:00] She breaks down the conscious and unconscious mind using the 10% and 90% framework.

[00:22:00] Riana compares old identities and beliefs to expired pantry items that need to be cleared out.

[00:24:00] She explains the difference between becoming aware of a pattern and actually replacing the neurology behind it.

[00:31:00] Riana shares the bridge metaphor for stepping into a new identity that matches who someone is becoming.

[00:39:00] Sonia asks about manifestation, and Riana reframes it through neuroscience, frequency, and attention.

[00:43:00] Riana walks through the “Magnet for Miracles” exercise using the away wall, toward wall, and 72-hour rubber band practice.

Riana's Links

🌐 Website https://rianamalia.com/

SIS LINKS

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram