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You know, we talk a lot on the show about unwinding at the end of the day and finding small ways to make that easier. And I really didn't expect my sheets to be one of those things, but recently they have been. You know, it's a simple change, but it's made that moment when I get into bed feel noticeably more relaxing because I ordered the bamboo sheet set from Quince and they've been such a great addition to my bedroom. They're soft, breathable and cool when you first get in. Quince bedding is designed to feel light and airy all night, whether it's bamboo, linen or organic cotton. And their linen actually gets softer with every wash, which I love. Everything feels thoughtfully made but still simple and much more accessible than you'd expect because they work directly with their manufacturers. It's one of those small changes that doesn't replace the rest of your wind down routine, but it really does make that moment of lying down feel more luxurious. Mm. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com sleepmagic for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com SleepMagic for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com SleepMagic we talk a lot about calming the mind before sleep, but lately I've been realizing how important it is to help the body unwind too. And that's what made me curious about Tanasi. They've developed a patented formula combining CBD and CBDA in a one to one ratio created through university research, and it's been shown to be two times better than CBD alone when it comes to supporting the body's response to stress and inflammation. Now I've just started trying their gummies in the evenings and they've been such a simple addition to my routine. Just an easy way to help me unwind and release tension at the end of the day. And everything is THC free so you can stay clear headed. And they have a full range too. Soft gels, tinctures, even topicals depending on what works for you. And if you try it and don't love it, they offer a full satisfaction guarantee. If you want to explore Tanasi, go to tanasi.com and use code sleepmagic to get 25% off at checkout. That's T A N A S I.com code sleepmagic orders over $75 ship free. Hi, I'm Jessica Porter and welcome Back to Sleep Magic, a podcast where I help you find the magic of your own mind, helping you to sleep better and live better. Hi everyone. Welcome to this month's Mailbag episode where I do my best to answer the questions you've sent in. Before we dive in, a couple of things. First, I am not an expert on these topics. I know a lot about hypnosis, but that's about it. So I'll give you my experience and perspective. But if you need support in any of these areas, I encourage you to seek it out. Normally I say that this episode may not be appropriate for children, but the truth is I answer a question from a 13 year old, you know, on the verge of young adulthood. So I think this episode is fine. Finally, if you fall asleep, because that's what happens when you listen to my voice, please don't listen to this, you know, driving a car or doing something important. And if you fall asleep, that's great. But if you want to really listen to it, do it when you're alert and safe. Okay, so let's start question one from Ruth. Sleep Magic helps me so much. I'm not totally where I want to be with my sleep yet, but you've given me hope. As far as mental health goes, I'm a music therapist. I had my own major crisis as a very young woman that caused me to go into music therapy. I think there are so many components to mental health and sleep is huge. Agreed, Ruth? Agreed. Also, she says substance dependence. Even though I appear completely together out in public, I used wine for years as a way to cope. I didn't realize how addictive it was at first because so many people do it. Anyways, I'm hoping to be able to be a moderate, safe consumer of alcohol, but still struggle with it a bit. Can you comment more on substance abuse? Ruth, thank you. Thank you for the question, for your honesty. Amazing. I want to start by saying something that I've learned over many years working with people and also through my own experience. Most addictions or dependencies are both a substance issue and a process issue. It's like a two headed beast. So take smoking for example. I help people quit smoking for a long time. Yes, nicotine is very physically addictive, extremely so. That's a big hurdle for anyone trying to quit. But people also become habituated to the rituals they associate with smoking. For instance, a lot of people wake up and the first thing they want is a cigarette. After a meal, the first thing they want is a cigarette. You get in the car, you have a cigarette These are habits that we've created. They become familiar and grooved in the subconscious mind. Now, over time, the brain attaches dopamine to those habits and you start to get an extra boost of dopamine in association with that behavior. Not because cigarettes contain dopamine, they don't. But because the pattern begins to. So those behaviors become self soothing loops. So you have two things happening. There's a physical dependency and behavioral conditioning. And both need to be addressed when it comes to substance abuse. And lucky for us, hypnosis can help with both of them. First, it can calm the nervous system during withdrawal. Now understand that's withdrawal meant to be a final getting off of the substance, not a learning how to moderate. And second, hypnosis helps by creating new habits to be employed after the substance is gone. New self soothing. Ideally, you start to retrain the brain so that it soothes itself so that dopamine gets delivered in different ways and healthier ways. And you start to develop those techniques that are good for you. But I want to be very clear. Hypnosis has a pretty good track record for quitting smoking. But for, I don't know what I want to call deeper substance dependency. I guess in a way more dangerous ones that affect behavior more. Alcohol, drugs, etc. Hypnosis may not be enough. I find with any addiction, support really matters. I don't tend to work with people with active addictions, except for tobacco, unless they're getting support in other ways as well. And then I think hypnosis is a fantastic tool to add to the mix. Now, Ruth, you mentioned that you had some issues from childhood that sort of forged a path for you to be a music therapist. Hypnotherapy could be very good at looking at those issues to help you release that pain or those patterns if you don't feel like they're resolved. And there's a possibility that by looking at those issues and loosening up that energy, that it does loosen up your relationship to alcohol. When we resolve the underlying issues that we're soothing ourselves over, we don't need to soothe ourselves quite as much. That could be a factor. But now I just want to give a note about moderation in general for anyone who might need to hear this. I completely understand the desire to be a normal moderate drinker. It's logical, it's appealing. Most people are moderate drinkers and perhaps that's your destination. Only you can discover that, Ruth. And certainly deep relaxation like we practice here at Sleep Magic can help you explore that path. But I just Want to share something personal? It's impossible for me to discuss this topic without bringing my experience to the table. So take what you like and leave the rest. I have discovered that there are certain substances that my brain has what I'll call an itchy relationship to. Now, alcohol doesn't happen to be one of them, but caffeine, sugar, marijuana, even a kind of heightened, almost allergic response like when I use them. I quickly begin to crave them and think about them and try to manage my use of them. And what I've found again and again is that trying to manage those substances takes a lot of energy. Energy. Obsessing about it, regulating it, celebrating when it works or feeling bad when it doesn't. And at a certain point, for me, the question always presented itself. Sometimes after a lot of struggle, is all this effort worse worth it? Because I've also discovered through my own trial and error that when I let those substances go completely, my brain calms down, the itchiness goes away, the cravings disappear and the struggle disappears, which is fantastic. And life becomes quieter and easier. Yeah, that's my story. So I want to offer you this one reflection. If you find yourself thinking about alcohol a lot, managing your use of it or wrestling with it, then that in itself is important information. So let yourself just research this topic for yourself actively, consciously, through personal experimentation and self reflection. We make our big important decisions. That way we sift and sort through evidence because we're all basically chemistry sets, figuring out what works for us and what doesn't. And we are all responsible for that exploration. So I'm just going to throw this into the mix. Sometimes the mind is allergic to the substance, and letting go is the simplest path. Not necessarily easy all the time, but simple. So, Ruth, if you were able to enjoy alcohol moderately, go for it. More power to you. But if you find that the struggle is taking more from you than the alcohol is giving, I'm over here with my own itchy brain, letting you know that there's lots of life and joy and peace on the other side. Thank you so much for writing, Ruth. I really appreciate it. Next, a question from Max. Hey, Jessica. I've tried different medications for anxiety and depression, but I feel like none of them are working. I'm not asking for medical advice. I'll continue taking them. But I've heard you talk about food and natural remedies. Is there anything I should include in my diet to feel less anxious? I already don't drink caffeine or eat meat or dairy. Hey, Max, thank you for Being. Well, first of all for your question, but also just for being really clear and responsible about your medication. I really respect that. And just to echo what you said, I am not a doctor and I do not give medical advice. So that's something to continue navigating with your physician. However, I can share what I know and think about food first. And this is for all of us. When we put higher quality ingredients into our bodies, they support the brain just as much as they support the body. I mean, hey, they're not actually separate. And increasingly we're understanding that the gut and the brain are deeply connected. Your microbiome, the ecosystem of bacteria, ew. In your gut, has a powerful influence on your immune system, your emotional state and your mental health. I mean, who'da thunk it Sounds almost like some weird medieval medical joke, like invisible creatures in the belly controleth thine mind. But it's kind of true. And the good news is the microbiome can shift relatively quickly, so you might feel better after a couple of days of food changes. So with respect to the gut, you might want to try exploring fermented foods like unpasteurized pickles, yogurt, kefir, miso soup. They all contain good quality bacteria for the gut. Even taking targeted probiotics can be helpful. So there's that gut health big, big, big thing around mental health. But there's also a longer arc here. Max and I like to remind people every time we eat, we're building ourselves. Like we're renovating our house three times a day at least. You're literally constructing your body, building your organs, really recreating your bloodstream, which affects your next mood, your next day. You're even contributing to the next few years of your life with every meal. So the question becomes, are you building yourself out of foods that still carry life force, or are you building yourself out of highly processed substances that are kind of dead? So there's the short term effect of what we eat, what you feel right away, and then there's the long term structure. So consider this. It takes 10 days for the plasma of your blood to completely renew itself. It takes 120 days for all of your red blood cells to be renewed. And it can take much longer for your organs and even your bones and the nervous system to renew themselves completely. So our mental and emotional health, which are more related to the brain and the nervous system and according to Chinese medicine, to the organs, those require time to see steady, stable, long term changes. And that's okay. Getting all the support you need from all sorts of different sources while you renovate your body, while you renovate your house. Now Max, you mentioned that you don't eat meat or dairy. That is a fantastic choice. Fantastic. Ethically, environmentally, and there's a ton of evidence that a plant based diet is really supportive of good health and good outcomes. You know, I work on a cruise every year with some of the big time plant based doctors like Dr. Neal Barnard, who started the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, Michael Greger from nutritionfacts.org, caldwell Esselstyn, and Colin Campbell who did Forks Over Knives. It's a documentary if you want to check it out. You probably have have all both been on the cruise many, many times. And there's no argument that the data supports eating tons and tons of plants. But here's something really important. A plant based diet can be incredibly healthy. But like any practice we do, over time it too can create some imbalances. If you only do one exercise at the gym, that's not enough. So even eating the healthiest thing, like blueberries, every day, every day, that over time can lack variety and get you into a rut. And with a plant based diet, the imbalance that I have seen in my experience is that quietly over time it can be depleting depending on how it's done. And one of the key issues I've seen is mineral depletion. You see, meat and dairy naturally contain a lot of concentrated minerals. You know, like on the periodic table, there's a ton of minerals like that are literally metals from the earth, copper, manganese, you know, things that make up our bones like phosphorus and calcium and magnesium. So when you remove meat and dairy, you just have to be a little more intentional about replacing those minerals. So that's thing number one. And you're not going to feel that immediately when you take them out, but slowly over time. And they may be contributing to your not feeling 100% even making these good choices. And to add to that, some plant based diets lean heavily on foods that are high in sugar, even natural sugars, maple syrup, or lots and lots of fruit or tropical fruit. Lots of vegans eat a lot of flour products or even processed vegan junk food. And all those foods can actually cause the body to use up lots of minerals without replacing them. And you're not eating the dairy or the meat to replace them. So over time I have seen people on plant based diets start to feel ungrounded, slightly anxious, maybe depleted, or even weak. And many of them not knowing that they can get plant Based minerals, really good quality minerals in ways I'm going to describe to you in a moment. Just think, oh, I don't feel good. I gotta eat meat. And sometimes they crave the meat because they're craving minerals. So if any of that resonates with you, Max, here are some gentle adjustments you may explore. First, we want to bring in mineral rich plant foods. And source number one is seaweed. Yeah, seaweed. Vegetables from the sea. I'm talking kelp, wood, wakame, arame. You can find these at health food stores or at Whole Foods Market, even one called hijiki. You'll also find them in Japanese restaurants. You don't need a lot of them, but eating sea vegetables in small amounts consistently is great for your hair, your skin, your bones. You'll see a difference immediately in your skin because they deliver minerals so effectively. And those are just the obvious places that minerals show up. You need good quality trace minerals for just about every function of your being. And when you don't get enough, it's a big deal. And yes, it can affect your mental and emotional health. Some other foods that have lots of good quality minerals, like I mentioned before, miso soup, but made at home, not from a restaurant. Good quality sea salt. Sea salt contains a mix of about 70 minerals. It's not enough of every single one, but salt that has not been processed is very, very mineral rich. Also, dark leafy greens like kale and collards have tons and tons of minerals. And whole grains, beans, they all are very mineral rich. So you want to make sure you're doing lots of those foods, including the seaweed, and then not eating too much sugar, too much fruit. One other thing is that many of these foods, the beans, the vegetables and the grains, because they're complex carbohydrates, they deliver their carbohydrate in this very slow, smooth, mellow way. And whole grains in particular have B vitamins that calm the nervous system. So on your plant based diet, if you emphasize these foods and chew them well, there's a certain peacefulness that comes from that. That may be, you know, a hedge against feeling anxious. Finally, Max, the goal is not restriction here, it's balance. It's building a body that feels nourished, steady, whole. And again, that's a gradual process. So you're not flipping a switch. You're renovating a whole house. So be patient. Thank you so much for your question. I really hope that helped. Next, from Billy. Hi, Jessica. Your idea of releasing worries and fears by writing them down was and is definitely interesting. To me. The idea initially hit me though as racing closer to the cliff rather than release from anxious thoughts. I'm a list maker in life and lists have always been sort of galvanizing for me like to do lists being focus narrowing rather than focus dispersing or thinning. So my question is, how do you recommend that one keep a fear worry list from just becoming a shocking written inventory of troubling thoughts which are slow or feel impossible to resolve? P.S. i'm in my 50s with an overwhelming amount of incompatible, argumentative people adjacent to one another. Your content has made and is making a huge difference in my life. I'm very grateful for the techniques you're providing us. Thank you, Billy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Billy. I hear this concern a lot. Many people fear that if they bring a fear down from the plane of thought or feeling and make it concrete on paper, that that can either make it come to fruition or as you said, just sort of like rot on the page reminding you of them and make you more anxious. And every week there's a question that really gets me going that my brain continues to manage and to chew on. And this is that one this week. So I want to reframe something. First, instead of thinking about fear per se, like the feeling we have in a haunted house, I want to think about resistance. Not big dramatic fears, just the small persistent tensions that we experience mentally and emotionally. I'm worried about tomorrow. I'm afraid I won't make enough money. I'm afraid my boyfriend will never stop playing video games. All of those thoughts create contraction. They literally make us secrete a chemical called catecholamine, which causes muscle contraction. Plus we secrete cortisol and adrenaline. So your mind, all of our minds are causing us stress. You could say it's the stuff outside, but if your mind doesn't touch that stuff, the stress doesn't occur. So it's as the stimuli gets in, what we do with it then produces stress in our bodies. Now, vis a vis your list making nature and how making lists tends to mobilize energy for you, it's galvanizing. You said. I get that a good to do list can steer my whole day forward. But it's not the only kind of list there is. Your system, body and mind is designed to both contract and release. You release energy all the time. Just growing from being an infant to a child, to a teenager to an adult. Your body has thrown off trillions and trillions and trillions of cells. It's released layers and layers of Skin, it's rewired itself neurologically in many ways. You inhale air and you exhale out. This may be tmi, but every day you have a bowel movement, or close to every day, that's releasing waste. And if you didn't do that, that would be a really big problem. It would cause disease over time to not release. So your emotions are the same. It's energy moving through your body and energy that needs to get out. I mean, why are we so okay with allowing happiness to be expressed or even anger to be expressed, but not fear? We want to hang on tight to that. It causes us to contract and we think, oh, contraction is the way to handle it. But fears need to move and it needs to move out in order for you to continue to grow. Resistance needs to be released for anything to grow. So doing a fear inventory is the emotional version of taking a poop or showering or just sloughing off cells. You need to exhale emotionally. So a fear list is not a to do list, it's a release list. And trust me, your body knows the difference. And yes, your first list might feel intense because you haven't been looking directly at these things until now. But here's what happens when you do. You create space. There's a part of you that's calm, creative, grounded, and that gets room to breathe. And I really love the irony, Billy, that you're afraid of writing down your fears. With all respect to you, I completely get it. So that's your first item. Start there. I am afraid of writing down my fears. Boom. First layer of the onion. Now understand, Billy, that there's no perfect here. Don't get black and white. I just want to say that for some people who resist looking at their fears, there may be a couple of pretty good reasons for that. And let's look at that just for a moment. First of all, I think some people use the stress they get from fear as fuel. They literally don't know how they will experience forward momentum without that contracting energy. And that's okay. Start small and see how you feel as you slowly peel that onion. I promise you there are motivators beneath fear. And second, Billy, this is specific to you. You mentioned that you were surrounded by some pretty contentious characters. Are you perhaps afraid of what you might say or do if you're not tied up in your own self inflicted stress? Maybe you're afraid of losing your cool or burning bridges if you actually confronted or detached from some of their stuff. But that's just another layer of resistance to Be examined and peeled away on your own time. On your own time. You can't take a lifetime of showers in a day. You just do it as needed. Maybe you can look at one resistant thought or fear a day and maybe you'll actually really dig the feeling you have when you start releasing and you find that peaceful core inside of you. Everyone's different. You gotta listen to yourself. And no matter how much releasing you do, if you want to tear it up, burn it, throw it away, but just try it. Because the purpose is not to manage your fears, it's to move through them. One last thing, Billy, to inspire you, I just want to say some of the benefits I get from doing fear inventories semi regularly. Not only does it help me sleep, it helps my relationships. Because by releasing all that resistance, I stay in the moment. Fear inventories help me stay present in my body. Because when all those neurons in my brain and my heart and my gut are handling fear, they're not in the present moment. But when I do it, I've taken my emotional shower. I'm clean for my relationships. And fear inventories also help me grow. I mentioned this earlier, but I just want to double click on it. Just because we're in adult bodies doesn't mean that our spirits don't continue to explore and expand and grow. What I call my inner being wants to give full attention and activation to my life. And by releasing resistance on a regular basis, I get to grow and change and develop and explore because I'm not holding myself back. I hope that helps, Billy. I hope that helps. Thank you. Next question is from Eve. Hi, Jessica. First of all, I love the podcast. I'm 13 and I don't have any form of social media and that makes me feel left out. My parents are separated and that's created a massive hole in my life. Even though this was around seven years ago. Sometimes me and my mom argue, like every family. But when I hurt my mom, I feel guilty. I think I have anxiety and overthink everything. Like this email I've written about five times. I also apologize a lot, don't like the spotlight, even though I do do dancing on stage by myself. I'm wondering if you have any tips for overcoming loneliness and anxiety for a teenage girl who sometimes gets overwhel and is still a child at heart and has emotions even though I try to hide them. Also, any body confidence advice because I hate my body and my stretch marks and it's changing a lot. Thanks. Oh, Eve, Eve. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Thank you. Thank you for Writing Eve, I think every single person over 13 probably related to to your letter in part or in whole. And I just want to say, personally, I really relate to you. My parents separated when I was very young, and I grew up with my single mom as well, just visiting my dad on the weekends. And I would feel very guilty if I hurt or disappointed her. But know, Eve, that it's normal for kids to make mistakes and even hurt others sometimes. We all do some of that before we learn how to have better control over ourselves. And remember, your mother was your age too, so she may understand you better than you know. So don't be too hard on yourself about that. Just say sorry when you feel guilty. And try to get better with your behavior over time, because that's what all of us are doing. You are not alone. I too remember my body changing really quickly and getting stretch marks, which I hated and freaked me out. But I want you to know, Eve, that they fade over time and you can hardly even see them after a while. And you'll also notice as you meet more and more people, that almost every single other girl has them too. Even some of the boys. When bodies grow quickly. And puberty is a time when bodies grow very quickly, they stretch. So as weird as they seem right now, you are not alone. You talk about your feelings, Eve, and at your age, it's normal to have a lot of feelings. And some of them can be very confusing. You're going through really big changes in your body and in your brain, and you cannot control those changes. Some days you may feel confident and happy in yourself, and then just a few days later, you may have some weird, dark feelings inside. And as hard as that feels, Eve, it's totally normal. Not like weird, but falls within a certain range of normal. It's downright, right down the middle, normal. Which doesn't mean it's easy. I remember when I was in 10th grade, I couldn't make it to school on Mondays. I just couldn't bear the idea of school on Mondays. I really don't know why, except I just couldn't pull myself out of bed after the weekend. And on my report card at the end of the year, it said that I had missed 26 days of school. Now, I'm not in any way suggesting that you do that, Eve. I'm just trying to say mood swings. Gotcha. At your age, the norm doesn't make them any easier. But again, Eve, you're not alone. You're not weird or different. Although I take that back. You are not normal in One way, Eve, you're not on social media. Woo, woo, woo, woo. I'm doing a little happy dance in the booth here, Eve. Yay, Eve. I get that not having social media can make you feel like you're not part of the gang. And who knows, you may get on social media at some point. No judgment either way. But I think over the long run, it's really good that you, at least at 13, are getting the experience of your life, your self offline. Because what you will have, Eve, is an experience of your own mind. Even if it's uncomfortable, just like you've explained in this letter, sometimes you're really uncomfortable. That's you at least when you witnessing yourself. And underneath some of that chaos, Eve, is your imagination. And that is gold, my friend. Social media just keeps people reacting and scrolling and it can really inhibit them from looking inward and creating with their own minds. And I know that stuff might sound boring right now, Eve, but believe me, if you like sleep magic, it's because I didn't grow up with social media just like you. And I had to pay attention to my own mind, just like you are now. And it was hard at times. But I'm here and I think you're doing great. The most successful and happy people in the world understand that at some point you have to come home to yourself and learn about yourself. And that doesn't mean being selfish all the time. But the truth is you bring yourself everywhere you go for the rest of your life, Eve. So it's good to know what you're dealing with and you are well on that path. You mention, Eve, that you try and hide your emotions, and I understand that emotions can feel overwhelming and we can be embarrassed by them and feel vulnerable with people. But I encourage you to let them out somewhere, like maybe in a journal or to your mom, at least some of them. Like I was saying before, Eve, when our feelings get stuck inside ourselves, we get sort of plugged up and it's not good. Sometimes we can hurt ourselves or others when our feelings get backed up. So no matter how scary it may be to be honest about your feelings, when you let them out, they tend to change and dissipate and evolve into other things. When we say our feelings out loud, others can reflect back to us that maybe they feel the same way. Sometimes feelings actually help us to connect with other people. Not every single time, but for the most part in life. When I share my feelings, I get closer to the people who want to hear them. Now, other people can't fix our feelings. Or make them go away. But they can help us move through them, and then we feel better. So please, Eve, give yourself permission to let your feelings out in safe ways. Start writing. Finally, Eve, I want to tell you a story. When I was 20 years old, I went to see a hypnotherapist. And one of the suggestions he gave me stuck with me for decades. In fact, I still think about it to this day. So sometimes we let people influence us in important and positive ways. So first, Eve, I'm really glad that you're listening to Sleep Magic. You're learning a lot about relaxation and how it can help you. And I want you to close your eyes and relax. And I want to add one thing to the mix, Eve, as a hypnotherapist, giving you a suggestion, a suggestion to a younger person, and that's be gentle, Eve, with yourself. Allow the world inside your mind and inside your body to be gentle whenever you have that choice. In fact, think about this. I don't know if you're a dog person or a cat person, but I'm a cat person. So I'm going to use the image of a kitten, okay? Imagine inside of you is a kitten. Kittens make mistakes. They scratch up the couch. They pee in the wrong places sometimes they aren't perfect, and they can even make us mad sometimes. But we are always gentle with kittens. We just are. And as you imagine that kitten inside of you, Eve, you are always gentle with her. Always. That's the rule. And here's the secret, Eve, is that it's the rule for all of us. But many adults have learned to be hard on themselves, and they have to relearn this gentleness. But you're young, so you can take this suggestion now and use it for the rest of your life. I am always gentle with myself. And you are that little kitten, Eve. Sometimes you'll have to push a kitten and train it and take it to the vet. But you're never mean. And if at some point you are, Eve, you apologize to the kitten and you soothe it, and you become gentle again, okay? And that gentleness will grow, Eve, and it will move into your relationships, and you'll attract gentle people. And it will move into your career, in your dreams, in your life. It'll even affect your health. You won't be perfect at this, Eve. No one is. But that's okay. Kittens aren't perfect, but we love them and we're kind to them. And just so you know, I do the same thing inside of me. I'm gentle with myself. We should all be so thank you for writing Eve. You're brave and strong and just be nice to that little kitten inside. I'm sending you lots and lots of of love. Next from Molly I recently watched a movie called the Drama no spoiler, but it explored how far you go morally to agree with your partner, and it got me thinking about all kinds of relationships in my life. How important do you think sharing the same morals is to have a good relationship with someone, whether it be romantic, platonic, or family? Molly, this is such a thoughtful question. If you want to hear my full answer and advice on this question, you can listen to the extended premium version of this episode by subscribing to Sleep Magic. Check the show notes for more details. So that's all we have time for today. And before I say good night, I just want to say thank you so much for all your honest and thoughtful questions that you've sent into the Magic mailbag over the years. We started this miniseries as a bit of an experiment, but I've truly loved reflecting on your questions and answering them each month. So many of them have really gotten me thinking, and I hope I've been able to help in some way through sharing my perspective. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being so open with me and for trusting me. Please let us know in the reviews what you thought of this episode and I'll see you next week for another sleep hypnosis. Good night.
Podcast: Sleep Magic: Sleep Hypnosis & Meditation for Sleep
Host: Jessica Porter
Episode: How to Know If You’re Drinking Too Much, Can Food Improve Mental Health & Should Teenagers Have Social Media? 💌 Mental Health Magic Mailbag
Release Date: May 20, 2026
In this special monthly Magic Mailbag edition, hypnotherapist Jessica Porter answers listener-submitted questions around emotional wellness, substance use, the relationship between food and mental health, processing overwhelming fears, body image and loneliness in teenage years, and the impact of social media on youth. With a gentle, insightful approach, Jessica offers support rooted in hypnotherapy, her lived experiences, and practical self-care—all through her signature calm and reassuring tone.
(Begins ~05:00)
Listener Question (Ruth):
A music therapist asks about moderation and struggle with alcohol, seeking insight into substance abuse.
Addiction as Both Substance & Process:
Role of Hypnosis:
Quote:
“Most addictions or dependencies are both a substance issue and a process issue. It’s like a two-headed beast.”
— Jessica Porter (07:15)
Personal Perspective & Moderation:
Quote:
“If you find yourself thinking about alcohol a lot, managing your use of it or wrestling with it, then that in itself is important information.”
— Jessica Porter (13:45)
(Begins ~17:05)
Listener Question (Max):
On medication for anxiety and depression, Max (who avoids caffeine, meat, and dairy) asks about foods to help anxiety.
Gut-Brain Connection, Microbiome:
Quote:
“Your microbiome, the ecosystem of bacteria, ew. In your gut, has a powerful influence on your immune system, your emotional state and your mental health.”
— Jessica Porter (18:00)
Plant-Based Diets—Balance & Minerals:
“Renovating your house” Metaphor:
Quote:
“Emphasize these foods and chew them well—there’s a certain peacefulness that comes from that. That may be, you know, a hedge against feeling anxious.”
— Jessica Porter (25:25)
(Begins ~28:10)
Listener Question (Billy):
A list-maker wonders whether writing out fears will just amplify anxiety instead of dispersing it.
Reframing the Fear Inventory:
Fear inventories aren't to-do lists—they are for emotional release.
Emotions, like physical waste, must exit the system for health; writing is how we “exhale emotionally.”
Quote:
“Doing a fear inventory is the emotional version of taking a poop or showering or just sloughing off cells. You need to exhale emotionally.”
— Jessica Porter (30:30)
If the list feels overwhelming:
Start with the fear of writing down your fears—peeling the onion layer by layer.
Gradual, regular release (not perfection) leads to greater presence, improved relationships, and growth.
Quote:
“Maybe you can look at one resistant thought or fear a day and maybe you’ll actually really dig the feeling you have when you start releasing and you find that peaceful core inside of you.”
— Jessica Porter (33:40)
(Begins ~37:05)
Listener Question (Eve, age 13):
Eve feels left out without social media, struggles with parental divorce, guilt, anxiety, body confidence, and hiding her emotions.
Normalizing Teenage Feelings:
Jessica draws on her own childhood, validating Eve’s loneliness, body changes, and emotional swings as “downright normal.”
Offers comfort about stretch marks (“they fade”—most people have them) and changing moods.
Quote:
“You are not weird or different... well, you are not normal in one way, Eve: you’re not on social media. Woo, woo, woo, woo. I’m doing a little happy dance in the booth here, Eve. Yay, Eve.”
— Jessica Porter (41:55)
On Not Having Social Media:
Jessica celebrates Eve’s social media absence, saying it fosters self-reflection, imagination, and agency.
Social media limits inner creativity and increases outward reactivity.
Quote:
“What you will have, Eve, is an experience of your own mind. Even if it’s uncomfortable, just like you’ve explained in this letter.”
— Jessica Porter (43:10)
Body Confidence & Gentleness:
Changing bodies at puberty are universal, and “gentleness with yourself” is vital.
Suggests visualizing an inner kitten: you treat mistakes with kindness and forgiveness.
Quote:
“Inside of you is a kitten... And as you imagine that kitten inside of you, Eve, you are always gentle with her. Always. That’s the rule.”
— Jessica Porter (47:05)
Advice for Emotional Regulation:
(Mentioned briefly at 52:35)
Listener Question (Molly):
How important is sharing morals for a good relationship?
Addiction & Moderation:
“Is all this effort worth it? Because I’ve also discovered, through my own trial and error, that when I let those substances go completely, my brain calms down, the itchiness goes away, the cravings disappear and the struggle disappears, which is fantastic.”
— Jessica Porter (11:55)
Food & Body as Construction:
“You’re literally constructing your body, building your organs, really recreating your bloodstream, which affects your next mood, your next day.”
— Jessica Porter (19:47)
Emotional Hygiene:
“A fear list is not a to do list, it’s a release list. And trust me, your body knows the difference.”
— Jessica Porter (32:20)
To Teens About Gentleness:
“I am always gentle with myself. And you are that little kitten, Eve. Sometimes you’ll have to push a kitten and train it and take it to the vet. But you’re never mean.”
— Jessica Porter (47:45)
Jessica’s signature: Calm, deeply compassionate, and gently empowering. Her responses offer permission, perspective, and practical tools for listeners at any age or stage of personal growth.