I’m sharing something deeply personal.

January is often filled with talk of fresh starts and motivation — but real life doesn’t always follow that script. Over the last few weeks, my family has been living through the realities of dementia, loss, and grief, and I wanted to speak honestly about what that has meant for my health, my mindset, and my relationship with food.

This episode isn’t about perfection. It’s about compassion, steadiness, and choosing not to abandon yourself when life feels overwhelming.

In this episode, I talk about:

Living through dementia and the loss of my dad
The emotional weight of care, advocacy, and grief
Why binge eating didn’t return — even during intense stress
Letting go of shame around weight gain
Gentle, realistic intentions instead of pressure
How creativity supports me right now
Why health still matters — even (and especially) in grief

If you’ve experienced dementia, loss, or a season where everything feels heavier than usual, I hope this episode helps you feel less alone.

This podcast is free of editing because in life sometimes we have to take the rough with the smooth and not be afraid to show our messy parts.

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00:00 Welcome back + what this podcast is about

02:10 Why I nearly didn’t record this episode

04:40 “New year, new me” pressure vs real life

06:30 My dad’s dementia + what’s changed in the last year

09:10 Care home experience, safeguarding concerns, hospital transfer

13:20 Advocacy, anger, and the emotional toll of fighting for care

17:00 The “this would be the time I binge” moment — and what happened instead

20:10 Christmas intensity: family health scares + managing everything at once

24:10 Choosing art classes as support (something to focus on)

27:30 Thinking there was more time — and why it didn’t feel like the end was near

30:10 The last visit: what I noticed, what I felt, and those strange lighter moments

35:30 Leaving the care home + the weekend plans

37:40 Getting the news in Edinburgh + the journey home

40:40 Reframing: “the death of dementia, not the death of my dad”

43:10 Funeral arrangements, humour as coping, and what I’m choosing not to do

45:20 Weight, food, and why I’m not stepping into shame

47:10 My gentle reset: weigh-in, Parrot tracking, protein, walks + Audible, Thursday art

49:10 Closing: honouring my dad + what’s coming next