Trigger warnings: mental health, eating disorders

In this episode, Julie tackles a subject few have been brave enough to ask: what's the real difference between BDSM and non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI, self-harm, "cutting," etc.)? Especially to outsider observers, BDSM and NSSI can look incredibly similar. Being a lifelong masochist who has never really engaged in serious NSSI, Julie found two volunteers (Cait and Siren) who were incredibly open about their experiences with BDSM and NSSI and the complex potential overlap between the two. At root, the difference mostly seems to come down to BDSM's association with sociability, connectedness, and joy, whil NSSI is associated with isolation, feelings of self-hatred, and shame.

As a sociologist, Julie also challenges some of the heavy stigma that NSSI faces, arguing that many activities society perceives as very positive (from running to drinking alcohol to ballet) can potentially have much more negative consequences than NSSI. She also points out that in general, pain does seem to often help humans process emotions, and the social understanding of both NSSI and BDSM probably needs to do a better job of incorporating that reality.

Huge thanks to Cait and Siren for being willing to share so much of themselves in this episode!

Referenced in this episode:

Secretary (2002)

Ginny & Georgia (2021-)