SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Episode 101: It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Will Arnett and Jason Bateman)
Release Date: November 18, 2024
Duration: Approximately 16 minutes

Introduction

Elliott Kalan kicks off the inaugural episode of "Clueless", a spinoff from SmartLess Media, setting the stage for a delightful blend of puzzles, humor, and celebrity camaraderie. As the host, Elliott introduces the concept: a biweekly, bite-sized podcast where listeners tackle various puzzles, brainteasers, and conundrums, striving to be faster than the show's resident puzzle enthusiast, Sean Hayes.

Elliott Kalan (00:41):

"Welcome to episode one of SmartLess Presents Clueless, a brand new podcast where you, the listener, try to solve puzzles faster than Sean Hayes."

Guest Introductions

Joining Elliott on this pilot episode are two of Sean Hayes's close friends and esteemed actors, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. The trio reminisces about past game nights and adventures, providing listeners with a glimpse into their strong friendship and shared love for gaming.

Will Arnett (01:31):

"You know I'm at a 10, but you pick up the slack with your energy, Elliot. It's really infectious."

Jason Bateman (02:42):

"We used to gather over at his house for game night. Sean has been with us. We used to play a lot of poker together. I mean, he's a gifted gamer."

Setting Up the Game

Elliott unveils the episode's main attraction: "It's A Numbers Game TV show edition." This interactive segment challenges participants to solve math equations where TV show titles with numbers replace numerical values. Additionally, there's an opportunity for bonus points if the answer itself is a TV show title.

Elliott Kalan (06:04):

"This game is built around TV shows with numbers in their titles. You are going to be tested on your very useful knowledge of television shows and also your very useless knowledge of basic elementary school math."

A practice question is presented to help guests and listeners grasp the game's mechanics:

Elliott Kalan (06:51):

"If I said day fiance minus for 30, what would the answer be?"

Jason Bateman (07:16):

"Sean Hayes. 90 day fiance. 30 for 30."

Will Arnett (07:18):

"So it'd be 60."

Elliott Kalan (07:19):

"Yep, you got that right. And if you wanted that extra point, what is there a show title with 60 Minutes?"

Main Game: It's A Numbers Game TV Show Edition

The game progresses with increasing difficulty, showcasing the quick wit and knowledge of the guests.

1. First Question:

   • Elliott Kalan (07:31):

     "Million Dollar man divided by Stooges."

   • Will Arnett (07:43):

     "Six million dollars, man."

   • Jason Bateman (07:44):

     "Yep."

   • Elliott Kalan (07:57):

     "Perfect."

2. Second Question:

   • Elliott Kalan (08:21):

     "Reno nine. Plus and a half men."

   • Will Arnett (08:35):

     "Wait, No, Reno 911 could be 11 or two ones."

   • Sean Hayes (08:47):

     "13 is 13 and 13 reasons why."

3. Third Question:

   • Elliott Kalan (09:08):

     "Heaven Times Company."

   • Jason Bateman (09:18):

     "21 Jump Street."

4. Fourth Question:

   • Elliott Kalan (09:54):

     "Beverly Hills 0210. Minus is enough."

   • Will Arnett (09:58):

     "One murder."

5. Fifth Question:

   • Elliott Kalan (10:23):

     "Things I hate about you, minus Babylon."

   • Will Arnett (10:43):

     "Party of five."

Throughout the game, humor and friendly banter abound. Notably, Jason Bateman teases Sean Hayes about his game performance:

Jason Bateman (10:09):

"Sean, by the way, you suck at this game. I haven't heard one answer."

Sean Hayes (10:16):

"It's obviously helping."

Mega Clue

After the main questions, Elliott introduces the Mega Clue segment—a culminating puzzle derived from the answers of the previous questions. Guests are prompted to perform mathematical operations, leading to a final riddle.

Elliott Kalan (11:36):

"Sean, Will, Jason, are you guys going to get any sleep between now and the moment you learn the answer to this puzzle?"

The segment involves multiple steps:

1. Summing Previous Answers:

   • Numbers: 2, 13, 21, 1, 5
   • Total: 42

2. Subtracting the Number of Monkeys in a TV Adaptation:

   • Reference: "12 Monkeys"
   • Calculation: 42 - 12 = 30

3. Final Calculation:

   • Adding the last number to 9970: 30 + 9970 = 10,000
   • Elliott Kalan (13:40):

     "Can you tell me the name of any pyramids that are worth that much money?"

The guests respond with playful remarks, highlighting their chemistry and humor.

Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the episode nears its end, Elliott presents the Cliffhanger Puzzle, a teaser for listeners to ponder until the next episode.

Elliott Kalan (14:09):

"Today's puzzle takes the form of a little story. It seems that the energy drink Prime Hydration has been so successful that the company celebrated by creating two solid gold prime bottles. The gold bottles are an appropriate vessel for the drink. Silver bottles would also be appropriate, but iron or tin bottles would not be. Why is that the case?"

Guests speculate on potential answers, adding intrigue and anticipation for future discussions.

Conclusion

Elliott wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to engage with the podcast through subscriptions, ratings, and reviews. The guests bid farewell with light-hearted comments, and Elliott teases the next episode's content.

Elliott Kalan (15:37):

"We'll reveal the answer to today's cliffhanger puzzle at the top of our next episode."

Sean Hayes (16:34):

"Good Burger."

Notable Quotes

• Elliott Kalan (01:06):

  "Sean Hayes and Smartless Media are excited to announce the birth of an all new baby podcast. The podcast weighs in at a healthy 10 to 12 minutes."

• Will Arnett (06:34):

  "227."

• Jason Bateman (07:19):

  "It will be a winner in one of these questions."

• Sean Hayes (10:02):

  "Murder one. Very good, Will."

• Elliott Kalan (11:01):

  "Which. It's good for record keeping for later."

• Jason Bateman (13:40):

  "That's the way we'd end things on smart lists."

• Elliott Kalan (15:23):

  "We'll reveal the answer to today's cliffhanger puzzle at the top of our next episode."

Key Takeaways

• "Clueless" successfully blends entertainment with cognitive challenges, making it engaging for both casual listeners and puzzle enthusiasts.
• The chemistry between Elliott Kalan, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman adds depth and humor, enhancing the overall listening experience.
• Interactive segments like "It's A Numbers Game" and the Mega Clue foster listener participation and anticipation for future episodes.

Conclusion

Episode 101 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess sets a promising tone for the series, combining celebrity charm with stimulating puzzles. Whether you're a fan of TV trivia, math challenges, or simply enjoy the dynamic between the hosts and guests, this episode offers a compelling start to what promises to be an entertaining podcast journey.