
On this episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes welcome back Ali Wentworth to play a round of Bot Bops - Elliott’s non-branded digital assistant will regale you with five famous songs in its own cold, inhuman style, name the song for one point and the artist for another point! Even if you can do it faster than Sean and Ali, what about the hidden connection that forms the MegaClue?! New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Kevin Leman and Josh Richmond.
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Elliot Kalin
Knock knock. Uh, knock knock. You're supposed to say, who's there? Oh, forget it. This is Clueless. Clueless. Clueless.
Sean Hayes
I'm Clueless.
Elliot Kalin
Gather round, youngins. Welcome to Smartless presents. Clueless. I reckon. I'm your host, Elliot Kalin, and I just have to say, you kids today don't know how easy you have it. When I was a boy, I had to walk 10 miles in the snow for a puzzle podcast where the contestant was always Sean Hayes. And yet now being delivered straight to your eardrums. Is that very same Sean Hayes. Good morning, Sean. Or whatever time it is, anywhere.
Sean Hayes
No. And I had to walk just as far to avoid any kind of learning.
Ali Wentworth
Well, that shows.
Elliot Kalin
Now, Sean, I got a notice from the government today that our show has dangerously high levels of you. They're saying we need to dilute all this concentrated Sean Hayes with a special guest. Please tell me we have a returning special guest in the form of Ali Wentworth today.
Sean Hayes
Oh, we certainly do.
Ali Wentworth
Hi.
Sean Hayes
Ally Wentworth, one of the most beautiful, funny, crazy, amazing people I have ever known in my entire life. And also an incredible cook and wife and mother and friend.
Ali Wentworth
Oh, Sean, would you do my eulogy?
Sean Hayes
I think I just did.
Elliot Kalin
I was gonna say it did seem like you were dictating to an off camera tombstone engraver while we were talking.
Ali Wentworth
Yeah, well, we recorded it, so that'll be used.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Elliot Kalin
Allie, thanks so much for joining us today. Again today we're gonna have some more puzzles. It's gonna be great. I'm sure everyone at home wants us to reveal the answer to last episode's cliffhanger puzzle. Why don't I remind you what the puzzle was? Yes, and it was a story that went as follows.
Sean Hayes
I don't think I'm gonna get this.
Elliot Kalin
Eight year old messy. Maddie was upstairs hitting a hammer over and over and over again. You'd think her mother would be mad, but no, she thought it was magnificent. Why? Why did Messy Maddie's mom think it was great she was hitting Queens with a hammer?
Sean Hayes
I mean, no idea.
Elliot Kalin
Allie, do you have any idea?
Ali Wentworth
Well, she. Maybe she was fixing something.
Elliot Kalin
It's easy to imagine she's using a hammer from, say, a toolbox. But are there any other things that are called hammers in this world?
Ali Wentworth
A shark?
Sean Hayes
A piano? She was playing piano.
Elliot Kalin
Yes, you're right. She was playing piano. You got it. She wasn't smashing the furniture to bits. She was practicing. The piano we're talking about is the hammer inside a piano that hits the string that makes the beautiful music that is otherwise kept forever imprisoned inside that string.
Sean Hayes
Ah. I Wonder. Of the 10 listeners, how many of them got it right?
Ali Wentworth
Well, now it's seven. It's seven listeners now.
Elliot Kalin
Yeah, I'm having all our remaining listeners over to the house and I'll just ask them casually about it.
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Elliot Kalin
Listeners at home. Did you guess the answer? If you did, I give you permission to smile for exactly five seconds because that's roughly how much time it'll take for me to announce our main game of the show. It's called Bot Bops. Bot Bops.
Bot
I am the bot and these are my bops.
Sean Hayes
These are my. These are my bots.
Elliot Kalin
I love a jingle that explains the title so clearly. Yes, that's bot as in robot and bops as in music. Normally we have cooperative games on this show, but this will be the rare game where I pit the two of you against each other for my and the listener at home's amusement. Now, in this game, I have programmed my non branded, you know, over the counter digital assistant with five hit songs that it will read the lyrics of in its cold, dead, inhuman, uncanny valley monotone. That's right. We're going to enjoy the beauty of music without all that distracting music getting in the way. Each of you will be trying to name the song and artist first. I'll give you a point for the song, a point for the artist, so you can get a point even if you only know one. Don't worry about raising your hand or buzzing in, just shout it out. Sean, Ally, are you ready to go head to head?
Sean Hayes
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Ali Wentworth
I am excited.
Elliot Kalin
Before we start though, I will remind you of our mega clue. Yes, there is a connection between all the featured artists in this game. At the very end, I will ask you if you can identify it.
Ali Wentworth
Ready to play?
Elliot Kalin
Let's start the game.
Ali Wentworth
Okay, Bob boss.
Elliot Kalin
And here is our first botbop.
Bot
You're still in bed at 10 and work began at 8. You've burned your breakfast. So far things are going great. Your mother warned you there'd be days like these. But she didn't tell you. When the world has brought you down to your knees that blank, blank, blank, blank, blank.
Sean Hayes
I'll be there for you.
Elliot Kalin
You got it, Sean. And who is it by?
Sean Hayes
Oh, the Rembrandt.
Bot
I'll be there for you by the Rembrandts.
Elliot Kalin
That's right.
Sean Hayes
Did you get that, Al?
Ali Wentworth
Yeah, I got it.
Elliot Kalin
Okay, great. Don't be afraid of shouting it out as we get to our next Bot bop. Bot bop it.
Bot
Where they play the right music. Getting in the swing, you come to look for a king. Anybody could be that guy. Night is young and the music's high. With a bit of rock music, everything is fine. You're in the mood for a dance. And when you get the chance you are the blank in blank.
Ali Wentworth
Oh, dancing queen.
Sean Hayes
Nice. Yes.
Elliot Kalin
You got it, Allie. And who's it by?
Ali Wentworth
Abba.
Bot
Dancing Queen by abba.
Elliot Kalin
You got it. Perfect.
Sean Hayes
I got it. I got it at the exact same time as. I got it literally at the exact same time as Allie.
Elliot Kalin
Thank God.
Sean Hayes
I was like, you are the dancing queen.
Elliot Kalin
So let's move on to bop bop number three.
Bot
We'll put out to sea and we'll perfect our chemistry. By and by. We'll defy a little bit of gravity. Afternoon delight. Cocktails and moonlit nights. That afternoon delight in your eye. Give me a tropical contact high. Way down in Blank, Mexico.
Sean Hayes
No, no. Way down in Aruba.
Ali Wentworth
Jamaica. Come on.
Sean Hayes
What is that way down in. What is that called? Wait a minute.
Ali Wentworth
Wait. Come on, pretty baby.
Sean Hayes
Kokomo.
Ali Wentworth
Kokomo.
Sean Hayes
Kokomo.
Elliot Kalin
Yes. Kokomo by Beach Boys.
Bot
Kokomo by the Beach Boys.
Elliot Kalin
Yes, exactly right. Kokomo by the Beach Boys. Fun fact for the listener. My least favorite song in the entire history of recorded music. But we don't have anything.
Sean Hayes
Is it really? Is it really?
Elliot Kalin
I find it. Everything about it just rubs me the wrong way. Everything about it I don't like. Anyway, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it all. Fine.
Sean Hayes
Okay, great.
Ali Wentworth
We'll play it on your birthday. Go ahead.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Elliot Kalin
Let's get to BotBop number four.
Bot
Bot, I see you, heh. On down on the scene. You make me want to get up and scream. I've made up my mind. I'm tired of wasting all my precious time. You've got to be all mine. All mine. Oh, shucks. Blanky blank.
Ali Wentworth
I feel like it's that song Walk, walk out the door. Because you abandoned me and I'm me no more.
Sean Hayes
Oh, is it?
Ali Wentworth
I don't think it's that, though.
Sean Hayes
Go on and I'll go. Walk out the door. That thing.
Ali Wentworth
Yeah.
Elliot Kalin
But give you a hint. It's not. That's a different one. They're talking about. I will survive. That is not it. Okay, I will give you the hint. I'll give you. Is that it is an older song than that. This is a classic rock song.
Ali Wentworth
What's throwing me is the.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, the, uh. And the ma.
Elliot Kalin
And to be honest, what would throw me is the shucks part, which is not.
Sean Hayes
Shucks. I was just gonna say, ah, shucks, but I have no idea. It's probably an Elvis song or something. I don't know.
Elliot Kalin
All right, Bot, please tell us what the bop was.
Bot
Foxy lady by Jimi Hendrix.
Sean Hayes
Oh, I wouldn't have known that.
Ali Wentworth
I wouldn't have known that. Based on Shucks and ugh.
Sean Hayes
But the other stuff you would have.
Bot
Gotten, these are my bops.
Elliot Kalin
That's a tough one. That's a tough one. This next one may also be tough. Let's take a listen. It's our last one of the game. Number five.
Ali Wentworth
Yep.
Elliot Kalin
Bot, please give us your final pop.
Bot
So don't change the dizzle. Turn it up a little. I got a living room full of fine dime brizzles waiting on the pizzle. The dizzle and the shizzle. Geez to the bizac. Now, ladies, here we gizzo. When the pimp's in the crib, it's sure blanket like it's blank. Blanket like it's blank. Blanket like Drop it like it's hot.
Sean Hayes
Drop it like it's hot by George Stephanopoulos.
Elliot Kalin
Oh, so close. So close.
Sean Hayes
Drop it like it's hot by, you know, the guy who smokes pot. The Snoop Dogg.
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Martha Stewart's Martha Stewart. Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg.
Bot
Drop it like it's Hot by Snoop Dogg.
Elliot Kalin
Yeah. I'm giving one point to each of you. That's right. It is. Drop it like a tot by Snoop Dogg, the marijuana smoking rapper that my children know best as the star of a series of fast food commercials that play during baseball games.
Sean Hayes
Sure.
Elliot Kalin
They're like, we like that guy who's in the fast food commercials. What's his name? They're like, snoop Dogg.
Sean Hayes
There's nothing he won't do. And I love it.
Ali Wentworth
Sean, you knew right away.
Sean Hayes
Well, because of the izzle and the shizzle and the pizzle. I mean, he kind of invented that, didn't he? Kind of invent that, Kind of.
Elliot Kalin
Let's move on to the Mega Clue for this game.
Advertiser
Mega Clue question.
Elliot Kalin
I'm going to give you your scores for this game, and then I would like you to work together on the Mega Clue.
Ali Wentworth
Okay.
Elliot Kalin
The scores. It's a very close game. Allie, you have three points. Sean, four points. Very close. Sean, you have barely edged ahead in this game of botbops.
Sean Hayes
Sorry, my life now.
Elliot Kalin
Of course, though, here's our Mega Clue. This is actually. You know what I'm making competitive. I'm going to say this is worth 7,000 points. So it's really anyone's game. Whoever gets the Mega Clue automatically wins the game.
Ali Wentworth
7,000 points that lead to nothing. Am I correct?
Sean Hayes
Right? No, no. Allie's really upset about not getting paid. Well, you know what, Are you cool with crypto? Because I can.
Ali Wentworth
I don't even. I don't want cash. I'd like, like A plug in kettle or something? Plug in kettle?
Sean Hayes
A hot plate?
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Would you like a hot plate?
Ali Wentworth
Yes.
Elliot Kalin
Let me ask you for this mega clue. Something connects each of these artists, and I'll remind you of who it was. The Rembrandts, abba, the Beach Boys, Jimi Hendrix, and Snoop Dogg. And I'm happy to give you a clue if you need it. What is something that each of these artists has in common with each other? What's something they have in common?
Sean Hayes
Okay, let me just think, please. First time for everything.
Elliot Kalin
And if you'd like a further hint, I'm happy to give you.
Ali Wentworth
I'd like a further hint.
Elliot Kalin
Okay, I'll say, what achievement, or perhaps I should say lack of achievement do each of these performers have in common?
Ali Wentworth
Oh, never been in the.
Sean Hayes
Hall of Fame?
Elliot Kalin
No. Something along those lines, though.
Ali Wentworth
Never won a Grammy.
Elliot Kalin
Yes, you're right.
Sean Hayes
Oh, nice.
Elliot Kalin
Perfect. None of these groups or individuals has ever won a competitive Grammy. Some of them have lifetime achievement Grammys. The Rembrandts, for instance, of course. Goes without saying, but the Grammys don't count those as real competitive Grammys.
Sean Hayes
Now, of the seven listeners left, how many do you think got that right?
Ali Wentworth
Sorry, we got three now it's three.
Elliot Kalin
Yeah, yeah. We're down to three listeners, unfortunately. That's a good question, because perhaps the true winner today was you, the viewer at home in this game. Of course. Ally won with 7,003 points to Sean's four points at the very end. Listeners at home, did you name these songs faster than Sean and Allie? If you didn't, don't tell me. I want to believe the best of you. Especially because it's time for today's final bedevilment, our cliffhanger puzzle. The cliffhanger puzzle is just our way of saying don't stop thinking about us even when the show is over. We're going to continue the musical theme for today's cliffhanger puzzle. I'm going to give you the names of three members of a famous group, and I want you to tell me the name of the fourth member. But I'm going to tell you these three members. Names in French, the language of love, and cliffhanger puzzles.
Sean Hayes
Do you know French? Hmm?
Elliot Kalin
No.
Sean Hayes
I was asking Ali if she knows French. Okay, go ahead. Sorry.
Elliot Kalin
So the names I will give you are. These are the names of three members of a group, and they are in French. I would like you to tell me next time who is the fourth member of this group, and their names are, I should mention also, I don't Know French. And I may be pronouncing them wrong. Their names are Volonte. Je suis taboo. Pomme lap.
Sean Hayes
Okay, well, you're going to have to.
Ali Wentworth
Do that again, and this time with a French accent.
Sean Hayes
What?
Elliot Kalin
With a v. Volante. Je suis.
Sean Hayes
Je suis oui d'tabu. Taboo.
Elliot Kalin
And Palme. L'eppe. L. Apostrophe A, P, P. I don't need an answer now, though. Who was the missing member of this group? And for extra credit, how would you say it in French? Sean? Ally, is this earworm of a puzzle gonna run over and over in your head until the next episode?
Sean Hayes
No, because I give up already. Okay, go ahead.
Ali Wentworth
C'est possible. Je ne c'est pas. Oh, look at that.
Elliot Kalin
Looks like we've got a secret weapon on our hands. Someone who actually knows French. I just hope none of our listeners are French. It would give them the kind of incredibly unfair advantage that sounds like Ali already has.
Ali Wentworth
C'est vera.
Sean Hayes
Oh, See? She's going to nail this. All right, Great.
Elliot Kalin
This is hers. Allie, thank you so much for sharing this special time with us.
Ali Wentworth
Oh, thank you. This was the best.
Elliot Kalin
It was best. I will cherish it always. Sean, if you want to take the next episode off, it's cool, I understand. But listeners, listeners, don't you miss the next episode. In fact, listen to this one again right now, and then you'll get to hear me say thanks for listening twice. Thanks for listening. And now if you play the episode again, you'll get to hear me say it four times. This has been Spartlist presents Clueless, and I am eternally an unchangeably Elliot Kaelin telling you to do something extra nice for your brain today. It's earned it.
Sean Hayes
That's great.
Devin Tory Bryant
Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kalin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes with those blue, blue eyes. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who I also write all the music and sound effects assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and Kevin Lehman. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer, Maddie McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kalin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.
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Release Date: November 25, 2024
Host: Elliott Kalan
Contestants: Sean Hayes and Special Guest Ali Wentworth
In Episode 104 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan welcomes listeners to another engaging installment of brainteasers and puzzles, featuring regular contestant Sean Hayes and special guest Ali Wentworth. The episode, titled "Bot Bops," delves into musical puzzles that test the contestants' quick-thinking abilities against those of the show's clever digital assistant, Sean Hayes.
Elliott opens the episode by referencing the cliffhanger puzzle from the last episode:
Elliott Kalan [02:11]: "Eight-year-old Messy Maddie was upstairs hitting a hammer over and over and over again. You'd think her mother would be mad, but no, she thought it was magnificent. Why?"
Sean and Ali engage in a light-hearted discussion, ultimately revealing that Maddie was practicing piano, where "hammers" are part of the instrument's mechanics.
Elliott Kalan [03:01]: "The piano we're talking about is the hammer inside a piano that hits the string that makes the beautiful music..."
Elliott introduces the main game of the episode, "Bot Bops," where a digital assistant reads lyrics of popular songs in a monotone voice, and the contestants must name both the song and the artist.
Elliott Kalan [05:14]: "It's called Bot Bops."
The bot presents the lyrics, and Sean quickly identifies:
Sean Hayes [06:58]: "I'll Be There for You."
Elliott Kalan [07:02]: "And who is it by?"
Sean Hayes [07:03]: "The Rembrandts."
Ali steps up with confidence:
Ali Wentworth [07:39]: "Dancing Queen."
Ali Wentworth [07:43]: "Abba."
The host commends their simultaneous correct answers, highlighting the contestants' synchronicity.
The bot's rendition of "Kokomo" leads to a playful exchange:
Sean Hayes [08:34]: "Kokomo."
Elliott Kalan [08:37]: "Fun fact for the listener, my least favorite song in the entire history of recorded music."
Despite Elliott's personal dislike, both contestants correctly identify the song and artist.
A more challenging round stumps both contestants until the bot reveals the answer:
Bot [09:59]: "Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix."
Elliott Kalan [10:02]: "That's a tough one."
The final round sees Sean nailing the answer with humor:
Sean Hayes [10:58]: "Drop it like it's hot by Snoop Dogg."
Elliott awards points to both contestants for their swift responses, bringing the game to a close with Sean narrowly leading.
Post-game, Elliott introduces the "Mega Clue," challenging the contestants to identify a common thread among all the featured artists: The Rembrandts, Abba, The Beach Boys, Jimi Hendrix, and Snoop Dogg.
After some deliberation, Ali provides the insightful answer:
Ali Wentworth [13:05]: "Never won a Grammy."
Elliott confirms:
Elliott Kalan [13:06]: "Yes, you're right. None of these groups or individuals has ever won a competitive Grammy."
This revelation not only ties the game together but also offers listeners an intriguing piece of musical trivia.
Elliott concludes the episode with a cliffhanger puzzle, maintaining the musical theme:
Elliott Kalan [14:15]: "I'm going to give you the names of three members of a famous group, and I want you to tell me the name of the fourth member. But I'm going to tell you these three members' names in French."
He presents the names: "Volonte," "Je suis Taboo," and "Pomme Lap." While the contestants struggle with the French pronunciations, Elliott hints at the puzzle's continuation in the next episode, ensuring listeners remain engaged and eager for the resolution.
Episode 104 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess successfully blends humor, competition, and musical knowledge, offering listeners an entertaining and intellectually stimulating experience. With the addition of Ali Wentworth, the dynamic between the hosts and contestants adds a fresh layer to the show's interactive format. The episode's engaging puzzles and the intriguing Mega Clue ensure that fans remain hooked, eagerly anticipating the next installment to uncover the answers to the cliffhanger.
Notable Quotes:
Key Takeaways:
For those who haven't tuned into SmartLess Presents ClueLess, Episode 104 delivers a compelling blend of entertainment and challenge, making it a must-listen for fans of puzzles, music, and witty banter.