108 - It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Scotty Icenogle)

Summary

Episode 108 - It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Scotty Icenogle)
Release Date: December 9, 2024
SmartLess Presents Clueless hosted by Elliott Kalan continues its engaging exploration of puzzles and brainteasers in this biweekly episode. Titled "It’s A Numbers Game," the episode features Elliott alongside his regular contestants, Sean Hayes and Scotty Icenogle, delving into a unique blend of movie-themed arithmetic challenges.

Introduction and Setup

Elliott Kalan opens the episode with his characteristic humor, introducing Sean Hayes as the "AI Me" and playfully hinting at the possibility of Sean recording another podcast in the background. The banter quickly brings Scotty into the conversation, setting a lighthearted tone for the episode. Elliott transitions smoothly into the main content by referencing the "cliffhanger puzzle" from the previous episode.

Recap of the Cliffhanger Puzzle

At [02:17], Elliott revisits the cliffhanger puzzle, a riddle designed to engage listeners until the next episode. The previous puzzle involved identifying which object did not belong in a list related to "The Wizard of Oz." The answers and the ensuing humorous debate between Sean and Scotty highlight the show's interactive and entertaining nature.

Introduction to "It's A Numbers Game Cinemath Edition"

At [05:53], Elliott introduces the day's main game: "It's A Numbers Game Cinemath Edition." This segment blends movie titles with basic arithmetic, challenging Sean and Scotty to solve equations where the numbers are embedded within movie titles, omitting the actual numbers. Elliott explains the rules clearly:

Elliott Kalan ([06:31]): "I'm going to give you a simple math equation, but instead of saying the numbers in the equation, I'm going to name movie titles that have those numbers in them, but I'm going to leave the numbers out of the titles."

An example is provided to ensure understanding, and Sean expresses his excitement:

Sean Hayes ([07:09]): "Got it. Ready to go. I'm so excited."

The Numbers Game Challenges

Throughout the episode, Elliott presents a series of movie-based math puzzles. Each puzzle involves identifying specific numbers from movie titles and performing arithmetic operations. The interactions between Elliott, Sean, and Scotty are marked by playful competition and humor.

1. First Clue ([07:15] - [08:12]):

   • Puzzle: "Mile times, Lock, Stock and Smoking Barrels."
   • Solution: Elliott reveals the answer as "16" from "16 Candles."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([08:05]): "I'm going to give you one point for 16 candles."

2. Second Clue ([08:21] - [08:45]):

   • Puzzle: "Weddings and a funeral. Times. Years in Tibet."
   • Solution: "28" from "28 Days."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([08:35]): "That's exactly right. Two points. You got the full two points on that one."

3. Third Clue ([08:45] - [09:19]):

   • Puzzle: "Things I hate about you. Plus shades of gray."
   • Solution: "60" from "Gone in 60 Seconds."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([09:15]): "I'm gonna give you half credit. You could've said gone in 60 seconds."

4. Fourth Clue ([09:30] - [10:16]):

   • Puzzle: "Our party people minus oceans."
   • Solution: "13" from "13 Going on 30."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([10:16]): "One of the top Jennifers. It's a Number clue."

5. Fifth Clue ([10:16] - [12:00]):

   • Puzzle: "District plus years a slave."
   • Solution: "21" from "21 Jump Street."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([10:40]): "21 Jump Street. That's great."

6. Sixth Clue ([10:42] - [11:59]):

   • Puzzle: "The Year Old Virgin minus the sense 6th."
   • Solution: "34" from "Miracle on 34th Street."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([11:06]): "You're right, on 34th Street."

7. Seventh Clue ([11:50] - [12:30]):

   • Puzzle: "The Taking of Pelham Minus Catch."
   • Solution: "101" from "101 Dalmatians."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([11:55]): "101 Dalmatians. You got it."

8. Eighth Clue ([12:30] - [13:05]):

   • Puzzle: "The Magnificent times Days of the Condor plus Degrees of separation."
   • Solution: "27" from "27 Dresses."
   • Notable Quote:

     Elliott Kalan ([13:05]): "27 dresses. I think it still holds the record for most dresses in a movie."

Scoring and Mega Clue

By [13:02], Sean and Scotty have accumulated a total of 13.5 points out of 16 possible, earning them a solid "B" grade. Elliott then introduces the "Mega Clue," a final challenge requiring the sum of all the numbers from the puzzles:

Elliott Kalan ([13:35]): "I want you to add up all these numbers... If you can think of one [movie title], I'll give you an extra point."

Scotty successfully calculates the total as "300" and identifies the corresponding movie:

Scotty ([14:18]): "300."

Elliott praises their achievement:

Elliott Kalan ([14:26]): "Sean, Scotty, you should feel very proud of yourselves today."

Conclusion and Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the episode winds down, Elliott presents the new cliffhanger puzzle to keep listeners engaged until the next episode:

Elliott Kalan ([15:03]): "Here's an impression I've been working on. First I'm angry, then I'm tart, then I'm cowardly, then I'm jealous, then I'm sad, then I'm psychic, then I'm verbose. What am I?"

The contestants ponder the riddle, adding an element of anticipation and interactivity for the audience.

Notable Quotes

• Elliott Kalan ([00:41]): "I've seen a lot of puzzles in my time, but there's no greater puzzle than the human heart."
• Sean Hayes ([01:30]): "This is AI Me. Because the real me is in the bathroom."
• Elliott Kalan ([05:53]): "It's a Numbers Game Cinemath Edition. Well, It's a numbers game. Kind of sexy at the end there."
• Elliott Kalan ([09:15]): "I'm gonna give you half credit. You could've said gone in 60 seconds."
• Elliott Kalan ([14:26]): "Sean, Scotty, you should feel very proud of yourselves today."

Final Thoughts

Episode 108 of SmartLess Presents Clueless successfully combines humor, intellect, and the charm of its hosts to deliver an entertaining and intellectually stimulating experience. The "Numbers Game Cinemath Edition" not only challenges the contestants but also encourages listeners to engage with movie trivia and arithmetic in a fun, interactive way. With its blend of puzzles, witty banter, and insightful commentary, this episode stands out as a testament to the show's unique approach to podcasting.

Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next episode, especially curious about the resolution of the newly introduced cliffhanger puzzle.

Transcript

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[Smartless Media]

Smart Less media.

[Elliot Kalin]

I've seen a lot of puzzles in my time, but there's no greater puzzle than the human heart. Except for there's the one where it's two lines and you're supposed to pick the one that's longer. And one of them does look longer, but it turns out it's an illusion and they're actually the same length. That's the greatest puzzle. And then the human heart. This is Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

Clueless. Clueless. I'm Clueless.

[Elliot Kalin]

Hello, everyone. Thanks for turning your ears to Smartlist presents Clueless, the only puzzle podcast where the player is always Sean Hayes. That I know of. Could Sean be timing us with another podcast? I, your host, Elliot Kalin would be really upset by that. So here's your constant contestant, Sean Hayes. Sean, are the rumors I just started true?

[Sean Hayes]

They are true. This is AI Me. Because the real me is in the bathroom. But then I'll rejoin and you won't even notice. But the other thing I wanted to say is I didn't understand one word you said in the cold open. But let's get to it.

[Elliot Kalin]

That's fine. That's fine. Just click on that information, drag it to the garbage in your brain. Just throw it in there. Don't worry about it.

[Sean Hayes]

That's right. Because. Well, I can do that because I'm the AI.

[Elliot Kalin]

That's right. So far. AI Sean is so much easier to work with than flesh and blood Organic Sean, this is a great move. I'm not usually against it, but this is good. I still hope that Scotty is here. Scotty, are you with us?

[Scotty]

I am with you. I am here.

[Sean Hayes]

Ah, this is great.

[Scotty]

Hello, husband.

[Sean Hayes]

Hello. I guess that's me. Hello.

[Scotty]

Oh, somebody needs a reboot.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yeah. It turns out the one thing the AI couldn't understand was love.

[Sean Hayes]

Unless. Can you remind us of the cliffhanger puzzle?

[Elliot Kalin]

I'm going to do exactly that. That's a great thing for us to do. The cliffhanger puzzle to remind you was a list of objects. Your task was to decide which one of those objects does not belong and why it does not belong. And those objects were.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, that's right.

[Elliot Kalin]

A pie, an axe, a picnic basket, a broom for sweeping and a tail. The physical tale than rodents tale.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, Scotty, I would say like pie, axe, picnic basin, first thing of Goldie. Or oh, oh, think of snow. Red Riding Hood.

[Scotty]

Red Riding Hood.

[Sean Hayes]

I don't know.

[Elliot Kalin]

If I was a nicer person, I'd say, you know what? I'll accept that answer. But I'm a mean person. As my.

[Scotty]

Oh, okay.

[Elliot Kalin]

As my children consistently remind me, I'm a mean old man. And so I am going to tell you that the answer is the pie. The pie does not belong. The other objects, the ax, the. The picnic basket, the broom and the tail are all objects carried by the main characters in the wizard of Oz. So very similar to the time where we.

[Scotty]

Yes.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, that's great. Yeah, sure.

[Elliot Kalin]

Nobody in the entire movie ever picks up a pie. Don't believe me. Pause the episode. Go watch the movie. Come back when you're done. We'll wait for a sec.

[Scotty]

And your little dog too.

[Elliot Kalin]

See, they should have believed me.

[Smartless Media]

It's true.

[Scotty]

It's true. But I think the little Red Riding Hood story has all of those elements in it.

[Elliot Kalin]

I think. You know what, the broom would be the thing out, I guess. Yeah, broom would be out.

[Sean Hayes]

Because she is bringing a pie to grandma, right?

[Scotty]

She's bringing. Yeah, she's got. We don't know everything that's in the pie.

[Sean Hayes]

I talked to her. I talked to her.

[Scotty]

Oh, you did?

[Elliot Kalin]

Oh, you did? And she told you?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, that was fine.

[Scotty]

She went to Ralph's.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, she went to Ralph's.

[Scotty]

Trader Joe's. Got it.

[Elliot Kalin]

I love the idea that Sean is like, I've got lots of celebrity friends like Red Riding Hood.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, I just talked to her the other day. She's doing better.

[Scotty]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Oh, good. That's such a relief.

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[Elliot Kalin]

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[Elliot Kalin]

Now that we've put to rest that ghost of clueless past, it's time to be visited by the ghost of clueless present. Today's game Sean Scotty this game is called It's a Numbers Game Cinemath Edition. Well, It's a numbers game. Kind of sexy at the end there.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow, that is hysterical.

[Scotty]

It sounded like an intro to a Cinemax late night movie.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, I'll say.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yeah, It's a Numbers Game Cinemath Edition. We'll challenge your knowledge of movie titles and basic grade school arithmetic.

[Scotty]

Oh God.

[Elliot Kalin]

I'm going to give you a simple math equation, but instead of saying the numbers in the equation, I'm going to name movie titles that have those numbers in them, but I'm going to leave the numbers out of the titles.

[Sean Hayes]

Got it?

[Scotty]

Perfect.

[Elliot Kalin]

Solve the equation with the missing numbers and if you give me your answer in the form of a third movie title that has that number in it, I'll give you an extra point. I'm feeling very generous today. If I were to say Fantastic minus Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, you could answer three. Three Amigos. Yeah, Three Amigos. Fantastic Four minus one Flew over the crooklessness equals three. If you said three, I'd give you one point. If you said a movie with three in the title, I'd give you two points.

[Sean Hayes]

Got it. Ready to go. I'm so excited.

[Scotty]

Wow.

[Elliot Kalin]

However, let us not forget there's also a mega clue.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

That we'll get to at the end of the game involving all your answers. So here we go. First clue. Mile times, lock, stock and smoking barrels. Mile times lock, stock and smoking barrels.

[Sean Hayes]

Scotty, what's the. No. Green Mile?

[Scotty]

No. Eight mile.

[Sean Hayes]

Eight mile. Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Green is not yet a number. They're working on it.

[Sean Hayes]

8 mile and is it 2? I know. Lock, stock.

[Elliot Kalin]

3.

[Sean Hayes]

3 locks.

[Scotty]

3, 3, 3.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, so 8 times 3.

[Scotty]

24.

[Sean Hayes]

So is there a movie with 24 in it? Yes, of course there is.

[Elliot Kalin]

I'm going to stop you right there because you're wrong. Anyway, it's the end. The movie has lock, stock and two smoking barrels.

[Sean Hayes]

I was gonna say two.

[Scotty]

I thought it was three.

[Elliot Kalin]

It was one of them. Because the two barrels of a gun as opposed to one of those cool new three barreled guns just as.

[Scotty]

Haven't you seen them?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

The correct answer we were looking for, there was 16. So if you wanna write that down for our mega clue.

[Sean Hayes]

16 candles.

[Scotty]

Yes.

[Elliot Kalin]

Okay, I'll give you one point for 16 candles. Moving on to clue number two.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Weddings and a funeral. Times. Years in Tibet.

[Sean Hayes]

Four weddings and a funeral and seven days in Tibet or whatever the hell that is.

[Scotty]

Seven years in Tibet.

[Sean Hayes]

Seven years in Tibet.

[Elliot Kalin]

It's a long way to go for just a seven day trip. Yeah, honestly.

[Sean Hayes]

So seven times four is 28. Correct.

[Scotty]

You got that 28 days.

[Elliot Kalin]

28 days, exactly right. Two points. You got the full two points on that one. That's great. Let's move on to the next one.

[Scotty]

Fantastic.

[Elliot Kalin]

Things I hate about you. Plus shades of gray. Things I hate about you.

[Sean Hayes]

The things I hate about you is 10 things I hate about you and how. 50 shades of gray.

[Scotty]

50 shades of 60.

[Sean Hayes]

So 60.

[Elliot Kalin]

You're exactly right. Can you give me a movie title with 60 in it?

[Scotty]

60 seconds. 60.

[Elliot Kalin]

You're getting there.

[Sean Hayes]

Later. 60 seconds. Later days.

[Scotty]

60 seconds of fun.

[Elliot Kalin]

Very short movie. 60 seconds later.

[Scotty]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

I'm gonna give you half credit. You could've said gone in 60 seconds.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh.

[Scotty]

Gone in 60 seconds.

[Sean Hayes]

Shoot. Oh, yes. That's so good.

[Elliot Kalin]

Look, puzzles are a cruel business. There's no mercy or compassion in this world.

[Scotty]

I'll say.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Clue number four. Our party people minus oceans. Our party people minus oceans.

[Sean Hayes]

Our h o u r people.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yes. Our h o u r party people minus oceans.

[Scotty]

The first one I'm having trouble with.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh. Our party people. Oh, this is. I would guess, I would have to guess that it's 24 hour party people.

[Scotty]

24 hour people.

[Elliot Kalin]

You're exactly right. It's 24 hour party people.

[Scotty]

Oh, fantastic.

[Sean Hayes]

So 24 minus 11.

[Scotty]

13. 13 monkeys.

[Elliot Kalin]

The number is correct. That's not the number in that movie title. You added an extra monkey, unfortunately.

[Scotty]

Oh, sorry.

[Sean Hayes]

Like 13. Oh, I'm thinking of 13 going 30. 13 going on 30.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yes, 13 going on 30. 13 going on 30.

[Scotty]

Jennifer Garner.

[Sean Hayes]

Garner, that's right.

[Elliot Kalin]

One of the top Jennifers. It's a Number clue. Number five. District plus years a slave. District plus years a slave.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Scotty]

Remember district nine?

[Sean Hayes]

District nine. And 12 years a slave.

[Scotty]

12 years a slave. So nine, 12, 21.

[Sean Hayes]

21 days of summer.

[Scotty]

21 jump street.

[Sean Hayes]

21 jump street.

[Elliot Kalin]

21 jump Street. That's great.

[Sean Hayes]

Nice, Scotty.

[Elliot Kalin]

Fantastic. The Year Old Virgin minus the sense 6th.

[Sean Hayes]

40 and 6.

[Scotty]

40 minus 6. 34.

[Sean Hayes]

34.

[Scotty]

34 going on 12. No, 34.

[Sean Hayes]

34.

[Elliot Kalin]

Can you think of a movie title with 34 before I arbitrarily force you to move to the next one?

[Sean Hayes]

Miracle on 34th Street.

[Elliot Kalin]

You're right, on 34th Street. The movie that showed that the post office collects probably too many letters to Santa. I don't know why they hold onto them, but they're hoping that eventually they'll find his forwarding address. I don't know. Clue number seven. The Taking of Pelham Minus Catch. The Taking of Pelham Catch.

[Sean Hayes]

Remember that movie, Taking a pelham? Yeah, like 21 or something like that. It's like.

[Elliot Kalin]

This is especially painful to me because that first movie in this one is literally my favorite movie of all time.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, the original or the Denzel Washes?

[Elliot Kalin]

The original one. Always the original. It's a big one.

[Sean Hayes]

One, two, three.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yes. Okay.

[Scotty]

Yes, that's right.

[Elliot Kalin]

But what's the second half? You've only got half of it.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, God. 1, 2, 3, minus catch 22.

[Scotty]

Catch 22. Catch 22.

[Sean Hayes]

101. 101 Dalmatians.

[Scotty]

I got one Dalmatian.

[Elliot Kalin]

You got it. I'm really enjoying the rush of excitement with each one. We've got one more left. This is the last one. It's gonna be a little bit more complicated than the other ones. Okay, so, all right. The Magnificent times Days of the Condor plus Degrees of separation.

[Sean Hayes]

7. Can you say the titles again?

[Elliot Kalin]

The magnificent seven times Days of the Condor.

[Sean Hayes]

Eight days at the Condor. Right.

[Elliot Kalin]

I think that's a lot of Days of the Condor. Okay, that's a lot of Days of the Condor.

[Scotty]

Seven Days. Three days. Four days.

[Sean Hayes]

Three. All right, let's do three.

[Elliot Kalin]

Three Three. Yes, it's three days. I'll give that three days.

[Scotty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Just so you're not just naming numbers over and over again, wondering how many days a condor has.

[Sean Hayes]

And then six degrees of separation. So seven times three is 21, plus six is 28.

[Scotty]

27.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. 27. 27.

[Scotty]

Oh, my God.

[Elliot Kalin]

I'm gona give you just a couple more seconds. You've been doing great. If you don't get this, there's no shame in it.

[Sean Hayes]

No idea.

[Scotty]

I have no idea.

[Elliot Kalin]

Oh, we're out of time. I would have accepted 27 dresses. I would have accepted 27 dresses.

[Sean Hayes]

27 dresses.

[Scotty]

27 dresses. Yeah, that's it.

[Elliot Kalin]

I think it still holds the record for most dresses in a movie.

[Sean Hayes]

Sure. It has to.

[Elliot Kalin]

Let's look at your score. Out of a total of possible 16, you got 13 and a half. Very good. You guys did really fantastic. We got like a B. Yeah, yeah, maybe B material. Yeah. All right. You forgot how many smoking barrels there were. Overestimated that. And it's hard to think of a movie with 27 in it. But wait, there's more. There's one more thing I need from you before the curse is lifted. Don't forget that we have our Mega Clue.

[Scotty]

Mega Clue question.

[Sean Hayes]

I love it.

[Elliot Kalin]

I want you to add up all these numbers, the answer numbers that. I want you to give me a movie title that has that number in it. If you can think of one. All right, so I'll tell you the numbers one more time.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

The numbers are. Audience at home. Add them in your head or on a piece of paper. 16, 28, 60, 13, 21, 34. 101. 27.

[Scotty]

I've got it.

[Sean Hayes]

You do? How did you do?

[Scotty]

Yeah, I have a calculator.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh. What's the number?

[Scotty]

300.

[Elliot Kalin]

And can you think of a movie title that has the number 300 in it?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Scotty]

300.

[Elliot Kalin]

Oh, you did it. You did it. That's great. You got it. You pulled it through right at the last moment.

[Sean Hayes]

I saw it in the theater when it came out. 300.

[Elliot Kalin]

Sean, Scotty, you should feel very proud of yourselves today.

[Sean Hayes]

Thank you.

[Scotty]

The day just got better.

[Elliot Kalin]

Listeners at home, how did you do with our Cinemath edition of It's a Numbers Game? Did you do better than Sean or Scotty? If so, you are objectively better than them and should allow yourself to feel a certain amount of smug superiority. But don't rest on those laurels for too long because it's time for a visit from the ghost of Clueless. Future. Our cliffhanger puzzle. What's that behind you? It's a cliffhanger puzzle.

[Sean Hayes]

Ah.

[Scotty]

Or it's Mrs. Green in the library with a puzzle.

[Sean Hayes]

With a puzzle.

[Elliot Kalin]

The cliffhanger puzzle is a little something for you to think about until next episode. Just to distract you from the unending tedium of life. Today's cliffhanger puzzle is a riddle which says, here's an impression I've been working on. First I'm angry, then I'm tart, then I'm cowardly, then I'm jealous, then I'm sad, then I'm psychic, then I'm verbose. What am I?

[Scotty]

Oh, my gosh, Sean.

[Elliot Kalin]

Scotty, are you going to be able to get any sleep between now and the moment I reveal the answer to this one?

[Sean Hayes]

I haven't slept in 12 years.

[Elliot Kalin]

Then maybe this is the one that finally puts you to sleep. It just. It's too much.

[Scotty]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Elliot Kalin]

Scotty. Sean, thank you so much for being here.

[Scotty]

Thank you so much, Elliot.

[Sean Hayes]

I look forward to it every single time. I can't wait for the next puzzles.

[Elliot Kalin]

It's gonna be great. Unfortunately, that's our show. It's time to take down the circus tent, put away the good dishes, lock the pet door so no alligators sneak into the house. Scotty, again, thank you, Sean. Thank you. And also, I checked. This episode does not count towards your community service hours. So you're gonna have to wait for something else outside of this shit.

[Scotty]

Perfect.

[Sean Hayes]

I'll call my parole officer. Thank you so much.

[Elliot Kalin]

Thank you. And I want to thank our audience for listening, so I will thank you. Audience. This has been Clueless, and I'm Elliot Kalin saying this episode is over right now.

[Smartless Media]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kalin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who is five'eleven Your producer, editor and engineer is Devon Torrey Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Matthew Broussard and Josh Richmond. Talent producer is Ann Harris. Associate producer, Maddie McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kalin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more smart, less media.

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[Elliot Kalin]

I have a medium iced coffee with.

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