125 - Don’t Be A Ditloid (w/ Carrie Aizley)

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess: Episode 125 - Don’t Be A Ditloid (w/ Carrie Aizley)
Release Date: February 6, 2025
Host: Elliott Kaelin
Guest: Carrie Aizley
Contestant: Sean Hayes

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Introduction

In the 125th episode of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kaelin welcomes listener favorites Sean Hayes and special guest Carrie Aizley for another engaging session of puzzles and brainteasers. The episode kicks off with playful banter, setting a lighthearted and inviting tone for both new and returning listeners.

Recap of Previous Episode

Elliott begins by revisiting the cliffhanger puzzle from the last episode:

• Puzzle: "I have many keys, but only one lock. You can enter but can't go outside. And I have space but no room. What am I?"
• Sean Hayes' Attempt: Sean humorously interrupts to attempt an answer mid-puzzle, but doesn't reveal it.
• Solution: Carrie reveals the answer at [02:04]: Keyboard. She explains, "Computer or keyboard or whatever," which settles the friendly competition between Sean and Devin Tory Bryant.

Main Game: Don't Be A Ditloid

At [03:26], the main game, Don't Be A Ditloid, begins. This game challenges players to decipher common phrases condensed into letters and numbers. The category for this episode is idioms, making it both challenging and entertaining.

Round Highlights:

1. 2 Bs with 1s.

   • Answer: "Two birds with one stone"
   • Timestamp: [04:30]
   • Quote: "Two birds with one stone. Two birds with one stone." – Devin Tory Bryant

2. 15m of F.

   • Answer: "15 minutes of fame"
   • Timestamp: [04:53]
   • Quote: "15 minutes of fame. Yes."

3. 99B of B on the W.

   • Answer: "99 bottles of beer on the wall"
   • Timestamp: [04:56]
   • Quote: "99 bottles of beer on the wall. Yes. Got it."

4. 800 PG.

   • Answer: "800 pound gorilla"
   • Timestamp: [05:10]
   • Quote: "800 pound gorilla. Excellent."

5. 3s to the W.

   • Answer: "3 sheets to the wind"
   • Timestamp: [05:37]
   • Quote: "3 sheets to the wind. Very good."

6. 6 Fu.

   • Answer: "Six feet under"
   • Timestamp: [06:01]
   • Quote: "Six feet under. Very good."

7. 2's C. 3's A C.

   • Answer: "Two's company, three's a crowd"
   • Timestamp: [06:13]
   • Quote: "Two's company. Three's a crowd."

8. A P is W, 1,000 W.

   • Answer: "A picture is worth a thousand words"
   • Timestamp: [06:30]
   • Quote: "A picture is worth a thousand words."

9. O.C.

   • Answer: "On Cloud nine"
   • Timestamp: [06:55]
   • Quote: "On Cloud nine. Very good. That's a tough one."

10. 15. M on a DMC.

    • Answer: "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum"
    • Timestamp: [07:54]
    • Quote: "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum."

Carrie and Devin showcase their quick thinking, with Carrie particularly excelling by correctly identifying complex phrases within tight timeframes.

Mega Clue: Expert Level Ditloid

At [09:22], Elliott introduces the Mega Clue, an expert-level ditloid:

• Clue: "206. B, as in boy I t h b."
• Solution: "206 bones in the human body"
• Timestamp: [09:47]
• Quote: "206 bones in the human body. I'll give it to you. Yeah, sorry. Wow."

Carrie impressively solves the Mega Clue swiftly, revealing her deep knowledge and setting a high bar for the game's difficulty.

Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the episode nears its end, Elliott presents the Cliffhanger Puzzle for next time:

• Puzzle: "Which word in this next group of words doesn't belong and why? The words are taser, care, Pakistan, scuba, and spam."
• Timestamp: [10:09] - [11:25]
• Discussion: The trio speculates on possible answers, including interpretations like "The Orange County 9" and "On Cloud nine," but ultimately leaves the solution for the next episode, building anticipation.

Conclusion

Elliott wraps up the episode with heartfelt thanks to Carrie for her participation and to Sean for his consistent presence. The team also extends gratitude to their listeners, emphasizing the communal joy of puzzle-solving. The closing remarks encourage listeners to tune in for the next episode, where the Cliffhanger Puzzle will be unveiled.

Notable Quotes:

• Elliott Kaelin [02:10]: "Yeah, exactly. A keyboard. You got it exactly right."
• Carrie Aizley [07:54]: "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum."
• Devin Tory Bryant [09:54]: "Bones in the human body. How did you know that?"

Final Thoughts:

Episode 125 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess delivers a blend of humor, intellect, and camaraderie. With challenging puzzles like "Don't Be A Ditloid" and engaging interactions among the hosts and guest, listeners are both entertained and mentally stimulated. The episode successfully maintains its promise of providing bite-sized, biweekly brainteasers, ensuring fans eagerly await the next installment.

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Transcript

[Elliot Kaelin]

Smart.

[Sean Hayes]

Less medium.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Do you often feel anxious or worried? Do you experience dizziness and nausea? Do you want to listen to a puzzle podcast? We can help you with one of those things. This is Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

That's good. Yes.

[Kerry Aisley]

Clueless. It's crime Clue. Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Excellent. Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the only podcast that promises you riddles, Sean Hayes. And a reason for being. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin. Mint condition in my original packaging. And now welcome the man who's got all the answers but can't remember where he put them, Sean Hayes. Sean, thank you so much for all of that. It's all written that goes straight from my head to the paper and then back out of my mouth again.

[Kerry Aisley]

It's so funny, Elliot. You're funny.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thank you very much.

[Kerry Aisley]

Joining us today is the glorious, intelligent, wonderful beauty pageant winner of all things in the universe. She's a big fan of Science Diet and her name is Kerry Aisley.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I like we talk like this, right?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thanks for having me, you guys.

[Kerry Aisley]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sean, Carrie, I'm not a guy who lives in the past. I like to always look forward to the future. Unfortunately, time is cyclical. So by looking to the future, I'm also looking to the past. And what I see is last episode's cliffhanger puzzle, which went thusly. I have many keys, but only one lock. You can enter but can't go outside. And I have space but no room. What am I now? Last time, Sean, you were. Well, I wasn't even done saying it before you.

[Kerry Aisley]

I know.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You were leaping with your chair to answer it.

[Kerry Aisley]

I knew it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Carrie, do you want to get it?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I don't know it. I was like a hotel, a piano.

[Kerry Aisley]

But now I'm going to show you a picture of it and then you'll get it right away.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Okay. Oh, a keyboard.

[Kerry Aisley]

Computer or keyboard or whatever.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, exactly. A keyboard. You got it exactly right. It has many keys, including enter space. Those are keys on. It has only one caps lock, but it's not any of the things you think of.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I feel like I should have known that as fast as Shawn did.

[Kerry Aisley]

No, you shouldn't have.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Just cause I wouldn't.

[Kerry Aisley]

Period. Period.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Period.

[Kerry Aisley]

I don't want to discuss why her.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Brain doesn't work that way. I'm not surprised.

[Kerry Aisley]

I promised her family behind her back we wouldn't talk about her brain.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's a good promise. We can keep that one.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Especially when it comes to keyboards.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You'll never look at your computer the same way again. That just.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

No, I won.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners at home did you get the answer? If you didn't, don't worry. You're still my favorite. We love each other for our flaws, not our strengths. Very good. And besides. Besides, there's another puzzle coming right down the bend. Here it is. Today's main game. Don't Be a Ditloid.

[Kerry Aisley]

I'm telling you, that is four minutes longer, Devin, than the last time we played that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They do seem to be getting longer each time.

[Kerry Aisley]

I love it, though. It's so funny.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Don't Be a Ditloid is a game of figuring out a common word or phrase that has been reduced to letters and numbers and had a lot of the other letters taken out of it. For example, if the category were musicals and I said 7B, F7B. What musical would I be talking about? What do you think is this, for example?

[Kerry Aisley]

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. If this was a musicals category, you'd already have one point. Unfortunately, this is not a musicals category today. It's totally different. It's idiots.

[Kerry Aisley]

It's sports.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

It's idiots.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sports and physics. Today's category is idioms. Everyone's favorite thing.

[Kerry Aisley]

Oh, yes. I love idioms. Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Famous phrases, classic cliches, all sorts of things. You know from idioms.

[Kerry Aisley]

We should call it Idioms for Idiots.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Idioms for Idiots.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They would be good. Question number one. Two Bs with 1s.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Two birds with one stone. Two birds with one stone.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly right? Yes. And I'm glad that you heard that Sean might answer it and you quickly jumped in.

[Kerry Aisley]

I always go and like that. And then you got it.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Were you about to say it?

[Kerry Aisley]

No, I couldn't figure it out.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Okay.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number two. 15m of F. 15 minutes of fame. Yes.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Wow, that was fast.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number 3.99B of B on the W. 99 bottles of beer on the wall. Yes. Got it. Question number four. 800 PG.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

800 per gallon. 800.

[Kerry Aisley]

800 pound gorilla.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. 800 pound gorilla. Excellent.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Is that a thing? I didn't know that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. Sometimes you hear 800, sometimes you hear 400. But it's a very big gorilla. The important thing is this gorilla is enormous.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number 5. 3s to the W. 3 sheets to the win.

[Kerry Aisley]

Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Very good.

[Kerry Aisley]

Nice. Wait, isn't it two sheets or I'm two, I'm two. I'm three sheets.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're not doing it well enough. If you're only getting two sheets because.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

He is three, you're not doing it right.

[Kerry Aisley]

I need one more. Isn't that about being drunk?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Yeah. You gotta last longer. Long enough to get one more sheet in there.

[Kerry Aisley]

Right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number six. Six fu. Oh, don't take it personally.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Six fields.

[Kerry Aisley]

Six feet under.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, six feet under. Very good. Question number seven. Two's C. Three's A C. Two's Three's A crowd.

[Kerry Aisley]

Two's company. Three's A crowd.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Three's A crowd.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Two's company. Three's a crowd. Number eight. A P is W, 1,000 W.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Worth it? No.

[Kerry Aisley]

Okay, wait. Do it again. What is it?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Sorry. A P is.

[Elliot Kaelin]

A P is W, 1000W.

[Kerry Aisley]

A P is a thousand words. A something. A something is worth a thousand words. A picture. A picture is worth a thousand words.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I think we did.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I thought. Carrie, you pretty much had it the first time. I thought. But I wasn't quite sure because it was so fast. Question nine. O.C.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Nine over the counter.

[Kerry Aisley]

O, O, C. Nine ocean. Oh. See? Orange county nine.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The Orange county nine. The rich socialites that were.

[Kerry Aisley]

That's how I got here today.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You took The Orange County 9.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Overcrowded 9.

[Elliot Kaelin]

What are some other phrases with 9 in them?

[Kerry Aisley]

Yeah.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

9 lies.

[Kerry Aisley]

9.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Odor cops. 9.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's the best in the series. In the Odor Cops series. That ninth one, they really hit the strike.

[Kerry Aisley]

And those Odor cops on Cloud nine.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, on Cloud nine. Very good. That's a tough one.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Well, now that I know it, it should be pretty easy. It seems like I know, right?

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's always easier when you know the answer.

[Kerry Aisley]

I know we've said that a lot and makes me giggle every time. Because it's true.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. There's one final question in this round. 15. M on a DMC.

[Kerry Aisley]

15 on a. D and C. D like David. D and C. Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

D like David. M like monster.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

C like on a dime, on a.

[Elliot Kaelin]

C, like a, you know, carrot or car. This is kind of a 15 men.

[Kerry Aisley]

So 15 men on a 10 second.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

On a damn mighty carnival.

[Elliot Kaelin]

This is kind of a historical one. This is when you might hear someone from another time period.

[Kerry Aisley]

Say, 15 men.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Or sing, perhaps, or sing.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

15 men on a door.

[Kerry Aisley]

On something. Choir.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No, man.

[Kerry Aisley]

15. 15 men on deck.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's one. That's one. Strategy is to just mumble the last part of it and they're like, I got it. I got it. Yeah. You know what I meant? Are you ready for me to give you the answer?

[Kerry Aisley]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest yo ho ho and a bottle of.

[Kerry Aisley]

Rum A bottle of Rum.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I wouldn't have gotten on a dead man's chest.

[Kerry Aisley]

I wouldn't know that, but I know it.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

How that started, what that's called, I'll tell you.

[Kerry Aisley]

Do you want to know?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yeah.

[Kerry Aisley]

So there were 15 men. No, I'm kidding. I have no idea. So be a titanlord.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's a tough one if you're not like me, thinking about pirates all the time. So you did nine out of 10 for the main body of this game. Very excellent. Ditloids can be very confusing. But now that you're a ditloid expert, I'm going to give you an expert level. Diploid. Who has today's mega clue?

[Kerry Aisley]

Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Mega clue question. This is an expert one. This is a hard one. It's so incredibly hard. I'm going to keep building it up. So just in case you don't get it, nobody will feel bad. But if you do get it, the audience will be so incredibly impressed and amazing.

[Kerry Aisley]

Okay, watch this.

[Elliot Kaelin]

This ditloid is okay. 206. B, as in boy I t h b.

[Kerry Aisley]

200 bones in the human body.

[Elliot Kaelin]

How did. Wait. Okay. Yes.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Bones in the human body.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I'll give it to you. Yeah, Sorry. Wow.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

How did you know that?

[Kerry Aisley]

That's because I know there's 206 bones in the human body.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

You're just always counting your bones.

[Kerry Aisley]

Every morning I get up, I go, one.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

How many today?

[Kerry Aisley]

Three.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners, did you get the answer? If not, it's possible you're not paying enough attention to your bones. Do the two things that are guaranteed to give you a healthy skeleton. One, drink some milk. And two, move on to today's cliffhanger puzzle. A lot of bone doctors tell you it's important to get a cliffhanger puzzle into your lifestyle. Cliffhanger puzzle is like a little riddle mint that we leave on your pillow as a way of saying thank you. And we were in your bedroom. Veteran clueless listeners will recognize today's cliffhanger as an odd one out. Which word in this next group of words doesn't belong and why? And the words are taser, care, Pakistan, scuba, and spam. Again, I'll give you those words. Taser, like, don't hit me with that Taser care, as in please send me a care package. Pakistan, as in I am from Pakistan. Scuba, as in I'm going to go scuba. And finally, spam, as in I'd like some spam for dinner, please. Which of those words does not belong with the others and why? We'll find out in the next episode. Sean Carrie, do you have an inkling?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I don't.

[Kerry Aisley]

I don't. But I can't wait to sit and think about it for 48 hours.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, yeah.

[Kerry Aisley]

Or possibly five days, depending on when.

[Elliot Kaelin]

This episode depending on when this episode is released.

[Kerry Aisley]

That is right.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yeah. That's a toughie.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's a tough one. But you've got a little bit of time to think about it because either it's getting dark out or I mixed up my sunglasses and my regular glasses. Either way, we should bring this show to a close. I want to thank Carrie. Thank you, Carrie.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Thanks for having me. It was real fun.

[Kerry Aisley]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's been so wonderful having you. Thanks for being a breath of fresh air. And thank you, Sean, for just being the same old regular air.

[Kerry Aisley]

Air.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's still good air. It's air. And most of all, thank you to the audience, without whom we'd just be three people having fun for no good reason at all. Thank you for giving us a reason. Outline this has been Smartless presents Clueless. And I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, telling you, buy your brain a present tomorrow. It's working hard for you.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

That was fun.

[Sean Hayes]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who does like candy. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Kevin Lehman and myself. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer, Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more smart Last.