
On this episode of Clueless, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes invite Sean’s husband Scotty Icenogle back to the show to grapple with an all-new game: Linkuistics! We’ll give you one word which starts a two-word phrase or compound word, and the first letter of the second word, all you have to do is guess the correct phrase to keep the chain going. Once you get the hang of it, the MegaClue will ask you to create your own links between words on the chain! New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Josh Richmond and Jason Reich. Script by Elliott Kalan. Music and sound effects by Devon Torrey Bryant.
Loading summary
Devin Tory Bryant
Smart glass, medium.
Elliot Kalin
Look up in the air. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a bird. Plane. No, wait, it's a plane. Bird. Actually, I think I need new glasses. This is Clueless. Clueless.
Devin Tory Bryant
Clueless.
Sean Hayes
It's clueless. I'm clueless. I never know what to say. I'm clueless or it's clueless.
Elliot Kalin
Go with what's in your heart.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, either. Either works.
Elliot Kalin
By the way, sadly, depending on the day. Let's just say depending on the day. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Elliot Kalin
Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the only Sean Hayes podcast, where instead of interviewing famous people, he answers questions from some goofy dork. I'm your host, Elliot Kalin, the aforementioned goofy dork. Now, please join me in welcoming the man who's got a song in his heart, and we all hope it stays there. Sean Hayes.
Sean Hayes
Yes, I know. Just talk to that. Talk to our guest today about keeping those songs to myself. Our guest today is. I can never remember his name. Is it Steven? Scotty. Scotty Eisenogle.
Scotty Eisenogle
You got it. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Who I cohabitate with from time to time.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yes.
Sean Hayes
And yes.
Scotty Eisenogle
My roommate.
Sean Hayes
Yes.
Elliot Kalin
Now, Sean, Scotty, you both know nothing means more to me than your friendship, right? But I feel like if we're gonna maintain this relationship, I'm gonna have to tell you something I've been too nervous to tell you before. Now, the answer to last episode's cliffhanger puzzle.
Sean Hayes
I was gonna say. Oh, it's gonna say, as your wife. No. Okay, great.
Elliot Kalin
She'll know eventually when she listens to this episode. You may remember, it was an odd one out question last episode, and that odd one out question went thusly. Which one doesn't belong? Sean Hayes. Scotty Eisenogle. A hippo, a praying mantis, and a mule. Now, the mantis is the only insect, but that's not quite what we're looking for. What is the odd one out? Sean Hayes, Scotty Icenoggle. A hippo, a praying mantis and a mule.
Sean Hayes
Wait, but Scotty, look. So the first two, me and you, that's like, we go together, we're the same.
Scotty Eisenogle
So we can't wear this?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, yeah. Well, no, but as a hippo and a praying mantis, did those guys hook up every once in a while or a hippo and a mule.
Elliot Kalin
Be very safe. Very uns. Safe for the praying mantis.
Sean Hayes
Okay. Or wait, let's do this. So hippos on all. Oh. Oh, well, carnivores, herbivores, maybe is like me, you, a Mule eats food or meat. I mean, Hippoproy mantis eats. Praying mantis eats other insects and stuff.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
And that's protein and that is a carnivore. So maybe a hippo, because they don't. They eat vegetables. Yes, a hippo.
Elliot Kalin
Is that your answer?
Sean Hayes
Yes.
Elliot Kalin
You found the right reasoning to the wrong animal.
Scotty Eisenogle
Perfect.
Sean Hayes
It's a mule. It's a mule. It's a mule.
Elliot Kalin
It is the mule. The mules never eat meat. Hippos will eat meat if they'll eat anything. They're the most dangerous animal in Africa. And even praying mantises. Yeah, you're right. They eat spiders, lizards, tiny hamburgers. If you grow one small enough, you know, they can hold them in those little hands that they've got.
Sean Hayes
I'd like to see that. Actually, I'm gonna go to In N Out and order a praying mantis burger.
Elliot Kalin
Instead of a double double burger, you get like a 1 10th. 1 10th. You know, just really a little patty. Yeah, yeah. Listeners, did you get the answer? If you did, are you a praying mantis? Are you eating a tiny hamburger right now? Well, if so, put it down because it's time for today's main game. Linguistics.
Devin Tory Bryant
Linguistics. Lingqistics. What does it mean? You take half a word or phrase and you try to complete it. Lingqistics is beginning when you hear the drum beat.
Sean Hayes
What in the world couldn't understand the words, couldn't understand.
Elliot Kalin
Like all great songs, it is explaining a game, but also very quickly to try to get into the length. So yeah, that's my pick for the Grammys this year. Linquistics. That's link, as in linking things together, as in a chain. Linguistics is a competitive game that will test your ability to keep a word chain going. I'm going to give you one word that starts a two word phrase or a compound word. And I'm also going to give you the first letter of the word that follows it. If you can name that second word, you get a point. If not your opponent, because this is a competitive game.
Sean Hayes
Oh, all right.
Elliot Kalin
We'll have a chance to guess that word and I'll also reveal to them the words. Second letter. Here's an example for you, Sean. If I gave you the clue water, and the first letter of the next word, B, you would guess water.
Sean Hayes
Water. Basin.
Elliot Kalin
That's a good guess, but it's not the right one. So I would then go to Scotty and say scotty, water. And then B, E. And Scotty, you would guess waterbed. Yes, that's exactly the answer, you would get the point, and I would reveal that bed is now the start of the next phrase, and I'd give you the letter for the next word.
Sean Hayes
Got it? Understood.
Elliot Kalin
It's a chain of things.
Scotty Eisenogle
Chain.
Sean Hayes
You know what it is? It's just using your lingqistics.
Elliot Kalin
That's exactly what it is.
Devin Tory Bryant
Lingqistics. Lingqistics.
Elliot Kalin
Okay, there are 14 words to guess, meaning a very long chain. Let's get started with the star of the show, Sean Hayes.
Sean Hayes
Uh. Oh, it's debatable.
Elliot Kalin
The starting word is hot, and the first letter in the next word is D. Hot dog. You got it exactly right. So you know the word is dog, and the next word starts with H. Oh, dog.
Sean Hayes
House.
Elliot Kalin
Yes. It's possible for you to just streak this, you know, this whole game. Scotty never gets to say a word.
Scotty Eisenogle
So that's not nice.
Sean Hayes
Okay, that would be a dream.
Elliot Kalin
Dinner tonight, gonna be a little difficult.
Scotty Eisenogle
Ye.
Elliot Kalin
Okay, that word was house. The next word starts with P. What goes after house that starts with P?
Sean Hayes
House. Party. House party.
Elliot Kalin
Oh, wow. Sean Hayes is just knocking them down one at a time. Okay, the word is party. The next word starts with a.
Sean Hayes
Party. Animal. Party Animal.
Elliot Kalin
Got it again. Wow. You're gonna have to throw it a little bit so Scotty gets to say something.
Sean Hayes
Wow. I.
Elliot Kalin
The word is animal. The next word starts with P. Animal.
Sean Hayes
P. Animal.
Elliot Kalin
Oh, wow.
Sean Hayes
I stopped dead in my tracks right there.
Elliot Kalin
And now Scotty's never gonna know if you did it on purpose or not.
Sean Hayes
I know. Animal. Animal Planet.
Elliot Kalin
Oh, you got it. You didn't do it on purpose. The word is planet, and the next word starts with H. Planet. H.
Sean Hayes
Planet. Hollywood.
Elliot Kalin
You got it. Most important planet. The brightest star in the heavens. Planet Hollywood. The word is Hollywood. The next word starts with S. Hollywood star. Hollywood star. No, I'm sorry, that's not it. So, Scotty, you finally get a chance to jump in, and there's a lot of these. So there's still a chance that you could win this game, Scotty. Okay, there's still never left. The word is Hollywood, and the letters are S and I. The next word starts S. I. Hollywood.
Scotty Eisenogle
Wow. My big chance. And I'm like, totally.
Elliot Kalin
You can do this. You can do this. Don't crumble under the pressure.
Scotty Eisenogle
Sigh. Hollywood. Hollywood sign.
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, my God.
Elliot Kalin
You got it.
Scotty Eisenogle
I'm so. My. Oh, my gosh. My game rep is so bad.
Elliot Kalin
No, no, that was wonderful. You know what that reminded me? It looked like you were giving birth to the answer, and Sean was Really?
Scotty Eisenogle
He was. He was there.
Sean Hayes
I was your midwife.
Scotty Eisenogle
He was the catch it.
Elliot Kalin
Yeah. So, Scotty, you have the word sign and the next word starts with O. Sign.
Sean Hayes
O. Oh, I know what that is.
Scotty Eisenogle
I keep thinking sign of the times.
Elliot Kalin
Or sign, but it's only two words.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yes. This is probably one of those games where I'm really bad at it.
Sean Hayes
I'm good and then the other ones.
Scotty Eisenogle
You're always good and I'm always good and you're. Yeah, okay. All right, I'm just gonna sign out.
Elliot Kalin
That's a good guess. But that is not the right one.
Sean Hayes
Can I guess it without a letter?
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Sign off.
Elliot Kalin
Yes, exactly right.
Scotty Eisenogle
Sign off right when I said it.
Elliot Kalin
It's time for that dominator of the dictionary. Sean Hayes back on the field as he takes over again. The word is off and the next word starts with R. So off. R. Off.
Scotty Eisenogle
Of course, I get that one way off.
Elliot Kalin
It's always allowed you to answer a question when you're not the one who has to answer it. Yeah, yeah. Ramp. Good guess. Not the correct one.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, that was my guess too.
Elliot Kalin
Uh. Oh, Scotty, try to get. So it's off. And then the letters in the second start with R. O. Off. R, O, Off.
Scotty Eisenogle
Road.
Elliot Kalin
Yes. You got that?
Sean Hayes
Oh, nice.
Elliot Kalin
Very good.
Sean Hayes
I wouldn't have gotten that.
Elliot Kalin
So moving on. The word is road and the second word starts with R. Road.
Scotty Eisenogle
R. Runner. Road. Runner.
Elliot Kalin
Yes, very good.
Sean Hayes
Oh, it is. I was gonna say rage.
Elliot Kalin
Just cause one of you is kind of like a young at heart, the other one is very angry at heart. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Beep.
Elliot Kalin
Beep.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, exactly.
Elliot Kalin
So Scotty, continuing. Runner is the word. And the second word starts with U. Runner.
Sean Hayes
Up.
Elliot Kalin
Yes, very good.
Sean Hayes
Ah, nice.
Elliot Kalin
The word is up. The second word starts with T. Up.
Scotty Eisenogle
T. Uptown.
Elliot Kalin
Oh, that's such a good. That's such a good guess. But it's not the right one, Sean. So you get your chance up and you get an extra letter. Up. T, U. The second word starts with T. U, Up.
Scotty Eisenogle
O.
Sean Hayes
Up. Oh, tuck up. Tuck. No, I don't know.
Elliot Kalin
Okay, then it goes back to Scotty and I'll give you another letter. It's up. T, U, R. Upturn. Yes, Upturn.
Sean Hayes
Upturn. What the hell's an upturn?
Scotty Eisenogle
Apparently the right answer, that's what it is.
Elliot Kalin
So Scotty, you get the next one. The word is turn and the second word starts with a D. Turn.
Scotty Eisenogle
Down.
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Ah, Turn down for what? Isn't that that song?
Elliot Kalin
Yep. The last one. Last one in the game. Scotty, you have it. Okay, but this is it. This is a very close game. The word is down, and the second word starts with B. Downbeat. Another great guess, but not the one that we're looking for. So, Sean, it goes back to you. Down. Ba.
Sean Hayes
Down. Oh, gosh. I don't. Down. Could I have three more letters you can add?
Elliot Kalin
There's one more letter in the second word. It goes back to. Unless you'd like to guess something or should we go back to Scotty?
Sean Hayes
No, no, because I have no idea. Down. I don't know.
Elliot Kalin
Okay, Scotty, down. B, A. Okay, here's a hint. This is a slang term. This is one that I guess the young people are throwing around these days.
Sean Hayes
A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Down.
Elliot Kalin
Bag.
Sean Hayes
Down bag. Down. Bad.
Scotty Eisenogle
I mean, all I'm thinking of is bag bad. You know, back.
Elliot Kalin
You might as well try one of those. Wanna try one?
Scotty Eisenogle
Okay, I'll say bad.
Elliot Kalin
That's exactly right. Down bad. That's it.
Sean Hayes
What the hell is down bad?
Elliot Kalin
We don't have any Taylor Swift fans here. Down bad. It just means kind of like, you know, maybe you like someone and they don't like you back. You know, it's down bad.
Sean Hayes
Well, down. Down bad. That's a little redundant. Anyway, wonderful game.
Scotty Eisenogle
Listen, you could hear the people screaming.
Elliot Kalin
Through there, especially Taylor, who I know listens. You could hear her screaming at you guys the whole time.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, okay.
Sean Hayes
Sorry, Taylor.
Scotty Eisenogle
Sorry, Taylor.
Elliot Kalin
Looking at the score, we have here an intense tie. It is seven to seven. Not exactly divided down the middle between these two.
Sean Hayes
Sounds like our divorce. Hey.
Elliot Kalin
And so that's all the words that I have for you guys. But that doesn't mean that the word chaining is over, because we've still got today's mega clue.
Scotty Eisenogle
Mega clue question.
Elliot Kalin
Oh, that's right. And this mega clue is more like a mini game. In this one, it is your turn to provide the chaining words. Both of you will have 60 seconds to compete against each other in this final challenge. Whoever gets to correct solution first will double their points. Here's the challenge. Can you create your own chain of words that will connect the final word of this chain, bad, back to the starting word in our chain, hot, using three words or less. So you want to chain from bad back to hot in two word phrases in three words or less. And you have 60 seconds to do so.
Sean Hayes
Wait, Bad.
Elliot Kalin
Okay.
Sean Hayes
Bad to hot.
Elliot Kalin
Bad to hot. Bad to hot in three links or less.
Sean Hayes
I think it's easier to work backwards. Scotty. Hot. You know something hot.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah. Dab Hot toe.
Sean Hayes
Don't say it out loud. Right.
Scotty Eisenogle
Sometimes I think out loud.
Elliot Kalin
For the listeners. Sean and Scotty are so intensely concentrated with they're doing. I can see.
Sean Hayes
How many do we do?
Elliot Kalin
Three. So you're gonna get. You wanted three phrases.
Sean Hayes
Three phrases.
Elliot Kalin
Just three phrases.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh.
Sean Hayes
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Elliot Kalin
So intensely concentrating that he didn't remember how many phrases to do.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wait. I was doing like. Okay, wait. Give me just ten more seconds. Okay, wait, wait. And this is. Okay, I got it.
Scotty Eisenogle
I hope you have it, because I sure don't.
Sean Hayes
I got it.
Scotty Eisenogle
Okay, good.
Sean Hayes
Okay, ready? Bad egg.
Elliot Kalin
Mm.
Sean Hayes
Egg white.
Elliot Kalin
Mm.
Sean Hayes
White Hot.
Elliot Kalin
You got it. That's perfect. Completely perfect. And Scotty, now's your chance to blow him out of the water with a two link phrase.
Scotty Eisenogle
Okay. Okay. So it was bad and hot. So then I did bad blood.
Sean Hayes
Nice.
Elliot Kalin
For Taylor.
Sean Hayes
For Taylor.
Scotty Eisenogle
I did. Then I did blood red.
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Scotty Eisenogle
And then I did red hot.
Sean Hayes
Red hot.
Elliot Kalin
Wonderful.
Scotty Eisenogle
This is beautiful.
Elliot Kalin
I could be a skurrilous and say Sean wins because he was a little bit faster, but I'm just gonna say this is a complete and total tie. What perfectly matched men you are for each other. Really?
Sean Hayes
Well, that's very sweet.
Scotty Eisenogle
Thank you.
Elliot Kalin
Listeners at home. Did you do as well as Sean and Scotty, if not honestly? That's okay. These are skills that you will literally never need outside of appearing on a puzzle based podcast. But for those of you who are appearing on a puzzle based podcast, I at you, Sean and Scotty. Yes, you're going to need those skills because we still have one more game. That's right, Cliff. Cliffhanger puzzle.
Sean Hayes
Ready?
Elliot Kalin
The cliffhanger puzzle is like the riddle version of finding out your waiter forgot to charge you for your second side order of french fries. Today's puzzle is a mysterious riddle that goes thusly. Listen to this mystery. It's in celery, but not cabbage. It's in rice krispies, but not corn flakes. And it's in a piece of cake, but not the cake itself. What is it, Sean? Scotty, I can see your brains already whirring with activity as you try to puzzle this one out.
Sean Hayes
It's in a piece of cake, but not the cake itself.
Elliot Kalin
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Okay.
Elliot Kalin
It's a fiendish little riddle, but luckily you've got until the next episode to think about it, because what's in the next episode that's not in this one? The answer to the puzzle. That's right. You have to wait till next time.
Sean Hayes
Okay, very good.
Elliot Kalin
Because unfortunately, it's time for us to go back into the Smartless vault, not to return until our next appearance. But first, I want to thank Scotty for holding Sean's hand when he crosses the street. Just making sure he doesn't run out. I want to thank Sean Hayes for continuing to let me imply he's a child. I will continue to do that in more episodes.
Sean Hayes
Please do.
Elliot Kalin
And I want to thank you, the audience, for listening to us. And I assume someday bragging to your grandchildren that you got to listen to us. We're like the Beatles, kind of. Until then, this has been Smartless presents Clueless, and I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, assuring you that no puzzles were harmed in the making of this episode. See you next time.
Devin Tory Bryant
Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, dreamer, adventurer. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and Jason Reich. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer, Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more smart Bless media.
SmartLess Presents ClueLess: Episode 130 - Linkuistics (w/ Scotty Icenogle)
Release Date: February 24, 2025
In episode 130 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan teams up once again with his constant contestant, Sean Hayes, and introduces the delightful Scotty Icenogle as a guest. The episode kicks off with the trio engaging in their signature playful banter, setting the stage for a series of intriguing puzzles and competitive games designed to test their wits and wordsmithing skills.
Elliott begins by revisiting the cliffhanger from the previous episode, reminding listeners of the puzzling question posed:
"Which one doesn't belong? Sean Hayes, Scotty Icenogle, a hippo, a praying mantis, and a mule."
— [01:40] Elliott Kalan
The discussion that follows sees Sean and Scotty debating the odd one out, initially considering dietary habits. Sean humorously speculates about ordering a "praying mantis burger," reflecting the show's lighthearted tone.
Sean Hayes: "I'd like to see that. Actually, I'm gonna go to In N Out and order a praying mantis burger."
— [03:14]
Ultimately, they conclude that the mule is the odd one out, as it doesn't fit into the carnivore classification that the other animals fall under.
Scotty Icenogle: "It's a mule."
— [02:58]
The heart of the episode is the Lingqistics game—a challenging word chain competition where participants must link two-word phrases by using the second word of the previous phrase as the first word of the next. Elliott explains the rules succinctly:
"You take half a word or phrase and you try to complete it. Lingqistics is beginning when you hear the drum beat."
— [04:04] Elliott Kalan
An illustrative example is provided with the phrase "water" and the letter "B," leading to "water bed." The game proceeds with a series of rapid-fire rounds:
Hot D
Sean: "Hot dog."
— [05:40]
Dog H
Sean: "House."
— [06:00]
House P
Sean: "House party."
— [06:21]
Party A
Sean: "Party animal."
— [06:32]
Animal P
Sean: "Animal Planet."
— [06:58]
Planet H
Sean: "Planet Hollywood."
— [07:07]
Hollywood S
Scotty: "Hollywood sign."
— [07:37]
Sign O
Scotty: Struggles but eventually guesses "Sign off."
— [08:35] Sean: "Sign off."
The game continues with alternating turns, showcasing Sean's prowess and Scotty's tenacity. Notably, their scores remain tightly knit, culminating in a 7-7 tie, emphasizing the competitive yet friendly nature of their interactions.
Elliott Kalan: "Looking at the score, we have here an intense tie. It is seven to seven."
— [12:18]
Following the Lingqistics game, Elliott introduces the Mega Clue Challenge—a mini game where Sean and Scotty must create a chain of words connecting "bad" back to "hot" within three phrases or fewer. The challenge is timed, adding an element of pressure.
Sean's Approach:
Sean Hayes: "Bad egg. Egg white. White Hot."
— [14:24]
Scotty's Strategy:
Scotty Icenogle: "Bad blood. Blood red. Red hot."
— [14:41]
Both participants successfully complete the challenge, resulting in a complete tie, much to the amusement and approval of Elliott.
Elliott Kalan: "What perfectly matched men you are for each other."
— [14:49]
As always, Elliott concludes the episode with a tantalizing cliffhanger puzzle, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment.
"It's in celery, but not cabbage. It's in rice krispies, but not corn flakes. And it's in a piece of cake, but not the cake itself. What is it?"
— [15:33] Elliott Kalan
Sean and Scotty engage in a brief contemplation of the riddle but ultimately agree to leave the answer for the next episode, maintaining the show's engaging and suspenseful format.
The episode wraps up with playful exchanges and gratitude towards Scotty for his support, Sean for his competitive spirit, and Elliott for his witty hosting. The trio reflects on their tied scores and hints at future challenges, ensuring listeners are hooked for what's to come.
Elliott Kalan: "No puzzles were harmed in the making of this episode."
— [16:34]
Listeners are encouraged to follow, subscribe, and engage with the podcast to stay updated on future episodes filled with puzzles, laughter, and camaraderie.
Notable Quotes:
Sean Hayes on ordering unique burgers: "I'd like to see that. Actually, I'm gonna go to In N Out and order a praying mantis burger."
— [03:14]
Scotty Icenogle on his guess: "It's a mule."
— [02:58]
Elliott Kalan on the intense game: "Looking at the score, we have here an intense tie. It is seven to seven."
— [12:18]
Sean Hayes on the Mega Clue: "Bad egg. Egg white. White Hot."
— [14:24]
Scotty Icenogle on his chain: "Bad blood. Blood red. Red hot."
— [14:41]
Elliott Kalan concluding thoughts: "No puzzles were harmed in the making of this episode."
— [16:34]
Episode 130 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess masterfully balances intellectual stimulation with humor and heartfelt interactions. The Lingqistics game and Mega Clue Challenge highlight the participants' linguistic agility, while the ongoing cliffhanger fosters a sense of anticipation and community among listeners. Whether you're a puzzle enthusiast or simply enjoy witty banter, this episode offers a compelling and entertaining experience.