
On this episode of Clueless, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes invite Sean’s husband Scotty Icenogle back to contend with another new game: State Of Confusion! Elliott’s been traveling around these United States, and he’ll give you a brief clue describing his trip; find one letter to drop between the postal abbreviations of the states he mentions to solve it. Keep track of all the letters you add, you’ll need them for the MegaClue! New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Jason Reich and Josh Richmond. Script by Elliott Kalan. Music and sound effects by Devon Torrey Bryant.
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Elliot Kaelin
Before we begin today's show, a quick reminder about daylight saving time. It is not daylight saving time. Waste that daylight. Use it up. This is Clueless.
Sean Hayes
Clueless.
Elliot Kaelin
Clueless.
Sean Hayes
I'm clueless.
Elliot Kaelin
Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast, where you find out if your brain is faster than Sean Hayes. Brain? You want to compare other body parts? That's a different podcast. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and I'm here to take your daughter to the prom. Now, please join me in welcoming the man who's so unique, he's officially considered an endangered species. Sean Hayes.
Sean Hayes
Go back to the prom. That was creepy.
Scotty Eisenogle
A little bit.
Elliot Kaelin
Sean, thank you so much for joining us today.
Sean Hayes
Oh, I didn't have a choice. It was great. So listen. No, I'm kidding. It's so good to be here. I always like seeing you, Elliot. And I love seeing this guy whose name is Scotty Eisenogle. I live with him. I'm married to him. For those of you that just got uncomfortable, hang in there, Scotty. Hello. How are you? Welcome.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Hello. I am so happy to be here. And it's great to see you, Sean.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. You know, whenever we see another gay couple, like two gay guys, two gay girls, and they say we're married, I always say the same joke, which is. That makes me feel really uncomfortable.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, I'm not quite comfortable with that.
Sean Hayes
But you do.
Elliot Kaelin
You.
Sean Hayes
You do.
Elliot Kaelin
You, Sean. Okay, Sean, I can feel you kicking me under the table we're definitely both sitting at. Don't rush me. I won't reveal the answer to last episode's cliffhanger puzzle until I am good and ready, which is right now.
Sean Hayes
Oh, good.
Elliot Kaelin
You may remember our last cliffhanger was a mysterious riddle, a Mystery riddle. And it went thusly. It's in celery, but not cabbage. It's in Rice Krispies, but not corn flakes. And it's in a piece of cake, but not the cake itself. What is it?
Sean Hayes
I think. I don't know what the answer is, but, Scotty, I think the. I think the. I think the last one. The piece of cake, but not the cake itself. I think it's the phrase piece of cake and it's not the cake itself.
Scotty Eisenogle
Right.
Sean Hayes
Like, whatever that is. Is that right, Ellie? Are we on the right path?
Elliot Kaelin
You're definitely on the right path. Yeah, I was.
Scotty Eisenogle
I was feeling that as well, I think.
Sean Hayes
So. It's celery, cabbage, Rice Krispies, corn flakes, piece of cake. The cake itself. So it's in celery, but not cabbage. Cabbage has bees. Two Bs together.
Elliot Kaelin
Rice Krispies, please do check your cabbage for bees before you cook it. You don't want to be cooking. Bees fly out at you.
Sean Hayes
No, especially two of them. So, raspberry cornflakes. Oh, I know what it is. All right. So it's in celery, which is C, like, pronounced, you know, with an S sound.
Scotty Eisenogle
Right, Right.
Sean Hayes
But not cabbage. It's in Rice Krispies. Rice is with a C. With an S sound. Yeah. And piece of cake, but not the cake itself. Yeah, it's a C sounding with an.
Elliot Kaelin
S. You got it. That's exactly right. The answer is a soft C sound. Soft C. Celery rice. Peace. Excellent work.
Sean Hayes
I cannot believe I got that. I'm not even kidding. I can't believe I got it.
Elliot Kaelin
That's a tough one. But you did a great job. Good teamwork, good assists. Wonderful. I'm very proud of you. I don't usually say this because I don't want you to feel that pride too often, but.
Sean Hayes
No, no, I get it. And. Dad, is that you?
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, exactly.
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Elliot Kaelin
Listeners at home, did you get the answer? If so, don't get conceded, which also has a soft C sound.
Sean Hayes
Nice.
Elliot Kaelin
Nice, because you've still got to test your wits against Sean and Scotty in today's main game. It's a hard game because the name has a hard C in it. This is State of Confusion.
Sean Hayes
Oh, so how well do you know your states?
Advertiser
Not just the beast, but how they abbreviate?
Sean Hayes
That's really good.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, I was waiting for the dig a da boo.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, it's really good. And it's really loud.
Elliot Kaelin
The louder the better. That's what I say.
Scotty Eisenogle
Gotta wake people up.
Elliot Kaelin
Yeah, you know, I did a lot of traveling around America last year and the only way I could write it off as a business expense was for us to do a puzzle about it. So I'm going to tell you about the trips I took. Your job is to take the postal abbreviations of the states I mentioned, add one more letter in the middle between the two of them to make a word that relates to my trip.
Sean Hayes
I love it. I can't wait.
Elliot Kaelin
So for example, if I said my trip from Denver to Albany was like a dumb joke, what do you think the answer would be?
Sean Hayes
Denver's. Colorado. Albany, New York. Corny. C, O, R, N, Y.
Elliot Kaelin
Exactly right. The dumb joke would be corny.
Sean Hayes
Corny.
Elliot Kaelin
That's just what you do. Take. I'm going to mention the cities. You tell me the abbreviations of the states.
Sean Hayes
States. Ooh, I love this game. Let's do it.
Elliot Kaelin
This will be good. You're going to love it. And of course, at the end of the game, the letters you've added can be unscrambled for a megaclue question.
Scotty Eisenogle
Good golly, Miss Molly. Buckle up.
Elliot Kaelin
It was fun. Now it's real. Okay. But it sounds like you're ready to play the game.
Sean Hayes
This was fun. But now it's real.
Advertiser
State of confusion.
Elliot Kaelin
So the first question. My trip from Boise to Birmingham was just perfect. I'll say it again. My trip from Boise to Birmingham was just perfect. Yes.
Scotty Eisenogle
Scotty, I got it. Ideal.
Sean Hayes
That's right.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, exactly right. Ideal.
Sean Hayes
Ooh, this is.
Elliot Kaelin
And it was ideal. It's a great trip. Idaho to Alabama. So much in between. That's great. Yeah.
Scotty Eisenogle
I love it.
Sean Hayes
This is go.
Elliot Kaelin
Question number two. My trip from Little Rock to Boston was smelly. Extremely smelly. My trip from Little Rock to Boston. Yes.
Sean Hayes
It's aroma.
Elliot Kaelin
You got it. It's aroma. Arkansas for Arkansas. Massachusetts for Massachusetts. Put an O in the middle.
Scotty Eisenogle
Nice.
Elliot Kaelin
Question number three. From St. Louis to Topeka, I did nothing but make fun of people.
Sean Hayes
Got it.
Scotty Eisenogle
Mocks.
Sean Hayes
That's it.
Elliot Kaelin
Got it. Right. That's right. MO From Missouri. Thought I might trip you up on that, but no. And KS for Kansas seems right.
Scotty Eisenogle
We went to school.
Sean Hayes
We paid attention. Kind of.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
Question number four. There was something kind of weird and suspicious about my trip from Honolulu to Louisville. Something weird and suspicious about my trip from Honolulu to Louisville.
Sean Hayes
Well, Hawaii's hi.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
And Louisville, Kentucky. Right.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Ky. Hilkes.
Scotty Eisenogle
Hioche.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. What?
Scotty Eisenogle
Hinky.
Sean Hayes
Hinky. Hinky. Hinky.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes. Hinky. Exactly. The fact is, I drove from Honolulu to Louisville. That's the hinky thing about it. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Well, yeah. You went underwater and came back up.
Elliot Kaelin
Let's just start exactly.
Sean Hayes
Wait. That's not a word you see or hear or use often. It's hinky.
Elliot Kaelin
No.
Sean Hayes
Boy, that was real hinky.
Elliot Kaelin
It is a word, though. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, it is a word.
Scotty Eisenogle
That's our Elliot.
Elliot Kaelin
You're right. It is an obscure word. But on the other hand.
Sean Hayes
It's a word.
Scotty Eisenogle
It's a word.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Welcome to Clueless. Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
You got to give me that. Right. Okay. Question number five. I Was burning up all the way from Orlando to Bar Harbor.
Sean Hayes
That's going to be tough because where the hell is Bar Harbor Harbor? But Harbor Harbor's got to be, like, a water state. I bet you it's Rhode island or something.
Elliot Kaelin
Wait, what is it?
Sean Hayes
What is the clue? Can you repeat.
Scotty Eisenogle
Can you repeat the clue?
Elliot Kaelin
I was burning up all the way from Orlando to Bar Harbor. So you know where Orlando is? Yeah, yes, probably, yes. Bar Harbor. You're right. It is a. It's a state. It's not going to be a landlocked state. It's not Bar Harbor, Montana.
Sean Hayes
Right, right. Bar Harbor, Rhode Island. It's got to be. Well, flame. Oh, flame. Flame. Flame.
Elliot Kaelin
Flame. Flame. Flame is right. It is Bar Harbor, Maine. Maine.
Sean Hayes
FL for Florida.
Elliot Kaelin
Me for Maine. Well, state of confusion. That's the main game. We still have our mega clue, of course, but that's the main game. You guys did great. Next time we do this game, we're going to have to throw some more states at you because, you know your states. You had to figure out what state is the city in. What's the abbreviation of the state? What's a word? Yeah, that's a triple riddle, and you got it so fast. But wait a second. I did mention there was a mega clue, right? Yeah, Mega clue question for this one. You're gonna take the letters that you added and unscramble them. You're gonna make a new word. So those letters to remind the audience at home in case there's somewhere where they can't write them down. Those letters were E, O, C, N and A. And I'm gonna ask you a question. The blank state. Tell me the word and tell me what state it is. That is their motto. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
I don't know if I can do it. Scotty Canoe.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, did you see that?
Elliot Kaelin
That is a word that uses letters, but it's not the right one for this one. Oh, is it? No, because there's no Canoe State. But there is.
Sean Hayes
Oh, shoot.
Elliot Kaelin
There is another state that has a different word, scrambled with these letters in its state motto. The blank state. But which state is that?
Sean Hayes
I want to get this.
Scotty Eisenogle
I know. I do, too. I'm trying.
Elliot Kaelin
You can do it.
Sean Hayes
Oh, ocean. O, C, E, A, N. Ocean.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Elliot Kaelin
Ocean. And can you tell me what state?
Sean Hayes
Is it the Ocean State. Isn't that California or. No, what's the Ocean State? No, it's got to be Hawaii because it's around the ocean. I don't know.
Scotty Eisenogle
Or is it Maryland?
Sean Hayes
Or is it Maryland.
Elliot Kaelin
It's a state that you were thinking of when you were trying to figure out where Bar harbor was.
Sean Hayes
Oh, Rhode Island.
Elliot Kaelin
You got it right. That's Rhode Island. And I'm gonna say you can have a bonus point. Do you know the postal abbreviation for Rhode Island?
Sean Hayes
R. R?
Elliot Kaelin
I. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was kind of an unearned bonus point. It's pretty obvious that one's not a trick.
Scotty Eisenogle
That's just to make us feel good.
Sean Hayes
Bonus. Bonus question. Can you spell island?
Elliot Kaelin
Yeah. Listeners at home, did you do as well as Sean and Scotty? If not, you might want to get out and see more of this country of ours. How else will you know if the states are the same colors in real life? That they are on the map?
Sean Hayes
But.
Elliot Kaelin
But don't hop in your car, say goodbye to your life, and become a modern day Frances McDormand style nomad just yet. Wait until after you hear today's cliffhanger puzzle.
Sean Hayes
Boom, boom, boom.
Elliot Kaelin
The cliffhanger puzzle is like when two lovers say farewell, never to see each other again. And as the brief candle of the affair dies out, our fingertips touch for one last brief moment before the train I'm on takes me away from you forever. But you know the puzzle version of that. And today's cliffhanger is a riddle that goes. Every year, I keep arriving with alphabetically successive names. First, my name will start with an A, then a B, then a C, and so on. But I always skip Q, U, X, Y, and Z. If one of my names gets retired, that's how you'll know I was truly dangerous. What am I?
Sean Hayes
Oh, wait, you know what it is, Scotty. Yeah, I understood every other word. I have to hear it.
Scotty Eisenogle
Well, you're also looking down.
Sean Hayes
No, no, I'm writing the thing.
Elliot Kaelin
I'll say one more time, scotty, don't reveal it if you know it, because we're not going to know until next episode.
Scotty Eisenogle
That's right.
Elliot Kaelin
Every year, I keep arriving with alphabetically successive names. First, my name will start with an A, then a B, then a C and so on. But I always skip Q, U, X, Y, and Z.
Sean Hayes
Okay.
Elliot Kaelin
If one of my names gets retired, that's how you know I was truly dangerous. What am I?
Sean Hayes
I have no idea.
Elliot Kaelin
Oh, well, this will be very exciting on our next episode when Scotty schools you cliffhangers. Unfortunately, that will have to wait for next episode because it's time for us to close the book on this episode of Clueless. Ow. Sorry, I accidentally closed it on my hand.
Sean Hayes
Oh, Elliot.
Elliot Kaelin
Oh, before we go, I'd like to thank Scotty for being so generous with his valuable time. I'd like to thank Sean for also giving us his time, which is not quite as valuable.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
Elliot Kaelin
And I want to thank you, the audience, for listening to our episode and not writing mean things about us on bathroom walls. I mean, please don't do that. I really appreciate your not doing that. This has been Smartless presents Clueless. And I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, saying au revoir, which is French for smell ya later. So you see why I said it in French.
Sean Hayes
That's.
Advertiser
You have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and Jason Reich. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and Jason Reich. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliott Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.
Elliot Kaelin
Smart glass.
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Sean Hayes
Perfect.
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Sean Hayes
Hey, can I get your number?
Elliot Kaelin
Oh.
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Podcast Summary: SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Episode: 131 - State Of Confusion (with Scotty Eisenogle)
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Duration: 16 minutes, 29 seconds
SmartLess Presents ClueLess is a captivating, biweekly podcast hosted by Emmy-winning writer Elliott Kalan. In each 10-12 minute episode, Elliott challenges listeners with puzzles, brainteasers, and conundrums to determine if their minds are quicker than this season's contestant, Sean Hayes. Episode 131, titled State Of Confusion, features guest Scotty Eisenogle alongside Sean Hayes, delivering an engaging mix of humor and mental challenges.
Elliott kicks off the episode with his signature humor, introducing Sean Hayes and Scotty Eisenogle in a playful manner. The trio engages in light-hearted banter, setting a friendly and relaxed tone for the episode.
Elliott Kalan [01:01]: "Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast, where you find out if your brain is faster than Sean Hayes."
Sean Hayes [01:22]: "Go back to the prom. That was creepy."
Their camaraderie is evident as they joke about Sean's relationship with Scotty, adding a personal touch to the episode.
Elliott revisits the previous episode's cliffhanger puzzle, prompting Sean and Scotty to solve it before diving into the new game.
Elliott Kalan [02:18]: "I won't reveal the answer to last episode's cliffhanger puzzle until I am good and ready, which is right now."
The puzzle involved identifying a common element present in certain words but absent in others, leading to a discussion about phonetics and word sounds.
Elliott Kalan [02:38]: "It's in celery, but not cabbage. It's in Rice Krispies, but not corn flakes. And it's in a piece of cake, but not the cake itself. What is it?"
Sean and Scotty collaboratively deduce that the answer revolves around the "soft C" sound, celebrating their successful teamwork.
Sean Hayes [03:27]: "But not cabbage. It's in Rice Krispies. Rice is with a C. With an S sound."
Elliott Kalan [03:39]: "You got it. That's exactly right. The answer is a soft C sound."
Game Introduction (06:07 - 07:40)
Elliott introduces the main game segment, State of Confusion, where he describes his travels across various states. The contestants must use the postal abbreviations of the mentioned states, insert an additional letter to form a word related to Elliott's trip, and solve the resulting puzzle.
Elliott Kalan [07:00]: "Your job is to take the postal abbreviations of the states I mentioned, add one more letter in the middle between the two of them to make a word that relates to my trip."
Round of Questions (07:55 - 12:07)
Boise to Birmingham:
Little Rock to Boston:
St. Louis to Topeka:
Honolulu to Louisville:
Orlando to Bar Harbor:
Each correct answer demonstrates the contestants' quick thinking and knowledge of U.S. state abbreviations.
Elliott introduces the Mega Clue puzzle, which involves unscrambling the letters added during the main game to form a new word related to a state motto.
Elliott Kalan [11:25]: "Those letters were E, O, C, N, and A. And I'm gonna ask you a question. The blank state. Tell me the word and tell me what state it is. That is their motto."
Sean and Scotty work together to unscramble "E, O, C, N, A," arriving at "Ocean."
Sean Hayes [11:54]: "Ocean. And can you tell me what state?"
After some deliberation, they identify Rhode Island as the state with the motto "Ocean."
Elliott Kalan [12:11]: "You got it right. That's Rhode Island."
To conclude the episode, Elliott presents a new cliffhanger puzzle, leaving listeners eager for the next episode.
Elliott Kalan [13:03]: "The cliffhanger puzzle is like when two lovers say farewell, never to see each other again. And as the brief candle of the affair dies out, our fingertips touch for one last brief moment before the train I'm on takes me away from you forever."
Elliott Kalan [13:50]: "Every year, I keep arriving with alphabetically successive names. First, my name will start with an A, then a B, then a C and so on. But I always skip Q, U, X, Y, and Z. If one of my names gets retired, that's how you'll know I was truly dangerous. What am I?"
The puzzle hints at a recurring entity with names following the alphabet, excluding certain letters. The answer, revealed in the next episode, teases listeners' anticipation.
Elliott wraps up the episode with humorous thanks and a reminder to listeners about the importance of not vandalizing bathroom walls with negative messages.
Elliott Kalan [14:24]: "I want to thank you, the audience, for listening to our episode and not writing mean things about us on bathroom walls."
He also provides information about the production team and encourages listeners to follow, subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.
Elliott Kalan [02:38]: "It's in celery, but not cabbage. It's in Rice Krispies, but not corn flakes. And it's in a piece of cake, but not the cake itself. What is it?"
Sean Hayes [03:27]: "But not cabbage. It's in Rice Krispies. Rice is with a C. With an S sound."
Elliott Kalan [07:00]: "Your job is to take the postal abbreviations of the states I mentioned, add one more letter in the middle between the two of them to make a word that relates to my trip."
Elliott Kalan [13:03]: "The cliffhanger puzzle is like when two lovers say farewell, never to see each other again."
Engaging Content: The episode expertly blends humor with mental challenges, keeping listeners entertained while stimulating their cognitive skills.
Interactive Puzzles: By involving both Sean and Scotty in solving puzzles, the podcast fosters a sense of teamwork and camaraderie.
Listener Engagement: The cliffhanger puzzle serves as a hook, encouraging listeners to return for the next episode to discover the answer.
Production Quality: Behind-the-scenes acknowledgments highlight the collaborative effort in creating a seamless and enjoyable listening experience.
SmartLess Presents ClueLess continues to deliver enjoyable and intellectually stimulating content, making it a must-listen for puzzle enthusiasts and fans of witty banter alike.