
On this episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes welcome back Sean’s good friend, actress & writer Carrie Aizley, to wrestle once again with the many limbs of the Word Centipede! What word can you put before or after the three words we give you to make three new compound words, and can you do it faster than Sean and Carrie? One word per round will point you towards a connection for today’s MegaClue! New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Kevin Leman. Script by Elliott Kalan. Music and sound effects by Devon Torrey Bryant.
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Elliot Kaelin
Smart Bless.
Sean Hayes
Media.
Elliot Kaelin
I'd like to begin today's episode with a correction. Last week I said the answer to one of the puzzles was Emperor Francis of Austria, King of Bohemia, Grand Prince of Transylvania, Duke of Upper and Lower Silesia, and Margrave of Moravia. This was incorrect. The actual answer was 12. I apologize for the mix up. This is Clueless. Clue. Clueless.
Sean Hayes
I'm Clueless.
Elliot Kaelin
Welcome to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that provides the least messy way to wrestle with Sean Hayes. Brain. My name is Elliot Kaelin, and I'm not actually the host of the show, but nobody's caught me yet, so don't blow my cover. Now. Please welcome the man who thinks updating your software means buying new pajamas, Sean Hayes. Sean, thanks for being here.
Keri Aisley
By the way. That's sadly true. And I love soft clothes. And you know who else loves soft clothes? My friend Keri, who's joining us again, Kerry Aisley. The brilliant, the funny, the beautiful, the gorgeous, the talented, the wonderful human being that is Keri Aisley.
Sean Hayes
So many good adjectives. I didn't get what he meant about updating your software until just now.
Keri Aisley
Now. Oh, Carrie, you've got. Did you just take a nap? Did you just wake up?
Sean Hayes
I was updating my own software.
Elliot Kaelin
Oh.
Keri Aisley
Carrie's funny.
Sean Hayes
So nice to be here.
Keri Aisley
Carrie, can you tell everybody what that woman said to you a long time.
Sean Hayes
Ago at the party?
Elliot Kaelin
With a lead in like that, I have to know what it is. What did the woman tell you? A long time ago, I was at.
Sean Hayes
A party with a lot of people who are not in comedy at all. And it was a dinner party. It was very formal. We were all sitting in the backyard outside other beautiful little twinkle lights, and a woman who I know but not very well came over to me and whispered in my ear as if it were a secret and said, how's your comedy coming along? As if it was, like, really shameful and quiet and private that she had to whisper it because no one else would want to know. I have too much shame about comedy. She wouldn't want to embarrass me by having me answer out loud.
Elliot Kaelin
How are you dealing with your habit? Your comedy habit?
Sean Hayes
Right. And then how are you supposed to answer that? My comedy's coming along really well, thank you.
Keri Aisley
It's really funny.
Elliot Kaelin
They say variety is the spice of life, but I disagree. Let's start this episode the same way we start every episode, by revealing last episode's cliffhanger puzzle. Now, you may remember this puzzle was a math trivia question that went, what is the largest number between 1 and 1 million that, when written out, does not contain an N?
Keri Aisley
Yes.
Elliot Kaelin
The letter N. Wait a minute.
Sean Hayes
It's just a number between one and a million that doesn't have an N.
Elliot Kaelin
That does not have the highest number between 1 and 1 million that does not have the letter N in it. When you write it out as a.
Keri Aisley
Word, you know, it's obviously not 9, and it's obviously not 999,006. No, no, it's got to be higher than that. But that's a good guess.
Sean Hayes
Thanks. 40.
Elliot Kaelin
50.
Keri Aisley
40 is good. 50.
Sean Hayes
60.
Elliot Kaelin
70.
Keri Aisley
70. 80. 80.
Sean Hayes
Well, 88.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, Carrie, you got it.
Keri Aisley
It's 88, Carrie. Which is also the number of keys on a piano.
Elliot Kaelin
Oh, some kind of conspiracy there. The letter N in pianos don't get along, but there's an N in piano. We're gonna have to get to the bottom of this. That's what this episode is about now. But you're right. 88 is the highest number you can get to between one and a million. That does not have an N. Cause then it's 89, and then it's 90, and then.
Keri Aisley
Yeah, and then you're just.
Sean Hayes
And then all bets are off.
Elliot Kaelin
Yeah. The tyranny of N just starts from that point on, and it does let go almost forever.
Keri Aisley
88. That was good that you got that.
Elliot Kaelin
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Elliot Kaelin
Listeners at home. Did you get the answer? If you didn't, just remember this helpful rhyme. Righty tighty lefty loosey. It won't help you with puzzles, but it's a good advice for using a screwdriver. But don't start your carpenting project just yet because we're about to jump into today's main game. Prepare yourself for word Centipede.
Keri Aisley
That's the best part. Centipede. I love it.
Elliot Kaelin
Word Centipede is our game today. In this game, I will give you a group of three words in each round. In exchange, you will have to tell me what word can go before or after each of those words to turn them into new compound words. So we're gonna play five rounds. Each round has three words, and you will tell me the one word you can add to each of those three words to make new words out of them. And one word from each round will help you figure out today's mega clue at the end of the game. Are you ready to centipede these words?
Sean Hayes
Yes.
Keri Aisley
Hang on. I just gotta run to the bathroom. No. Okay, I'm ready.
Elliot Kaelin
I don't want to know what happened between those two sentences. Let's begin with round one of word Centipede. Your words are bulb, spot, and sky. What word can you add to bulb, spot, and sky to make three new words?
Sean Hayes
Light.
Keri Aisley
Skylight.
Sean Hayes
Light.
Keri Aisley
Light. Spot. Spotlight.
Elliot Kaelin
You got it. The answer is light, light, bulb, spotlight, and skylight.
Keri Aisley
That was a gimme. That was a gimme.
Sean Hayes
That was a good one.
Elliot Kaelin
Only because you're so good. It was only a gimme because you two are so good at it.
Keri Aisley
Sure.
Elliot Kaelin
Round two. Let's see. The words are lone, as in a lone stranger. Awe, as in filled with awe, and whole, as in that's the whole thing.
Sean Hayes
Some.
Elliot Kaelin
Carrie. So fast. You got it. The word is some.
Keri Aisley
How did you get that?
Elliot Kaelin
I don't know. Lonesome. Awesome. Wholesome. That was at that point. So the first one, it was a gimme because you were just really good. The second one, you're better than I realized, which makes me upset.
Keri Aisley
And it's three words that describe Carrie.
Sean Hayes
Oh. Whole and awe and lone. Especially whole. W, H, O, L, E. Well, I.
Keri Aisley
Meant the whole thing. You're very wholesome. You're very lonesome, and you're very awesome.
Sean Hayes
I'm very lonesome.
Keri Aisley
No, she's not lonesome.
Elliot Kaelin
And you are the whole carry. There's no half carries here, only the whole thing. Round three. These are your three words.
Keri Aisley
Just given to me as sounds.
Sean Hayes
These are your three sounds.
Elliot Kaelin
Those are your three sounds.
Sean Hayes
What sound can you put before those?
Keri Aisley
Okay, sorry.
Elliot Kaelin
Go. Okay, Round three. Your words are Less. Sweet. Break.
Keri Aisley
And sweet is S, W, E, E, T. Yes.
Elliot Kaelin
And break is B, R, E, A, K. Sweet. Less. Sweet. Break. What word can you add to each of these three words?
Keri Aisley
Fast. Fast. Sweet. Fast.
Sean Hayes
Bitter.
Keri Aisley
No, less. Wait, I was thinking breakfast, but that's not it.
Sean Hayes
Break. Break. It's pronounced break, not break. Right. Break.
Elliot Kaelin
Sweet break.
Keri Aisley
But it's spelled the same. Okay.
Sean Hayes
I don't know. I don't want to fight. Break. Break. Dance. Break. Fast.
Keri Aisley
Oh, yeah. Dance less.
Elliot Kaelin
Dance.
Keri Aisley
Dance less. Danceless pants.
Sean Hayes
Break.
Keri Aisley
Sweet.
Sean Hayes
A bowl. So it's less a bowl.
Keri Aisley
No, sweet.
Sean Hayes
Breakable.
Keri Aisley
Oh, timeless. Of any. Okay, I want a clue. Do you want a clue, Carrie?
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
Okay. I will say you're doing a great job of coming up with words that fit with one of the three. And I think as soon as you can get words that fit with at least two of them, you'll be doing great. You'll be doing great.
Keri Aisley
Okay. And so you're. I feel like you're describing the.
Sean Hayes
The game.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes. Yeah. I felt a refresher was necessary.
Keri Aisley
Sure.
Elliot Kaelin
Here's a clue. Think of a part of the body.
Sean Hayes
Legless. Armless. Armless Headless.
Keri Aisley
Headless head. Sweet. Sweethead head.
Sean Hayes
Sweet. Break.
Keri Aisley
Sweetheart.
Sean Hayes
Breakhead heart.
Keri Aisley
Heartless, sweetheart heartbreak.
Elliot Kaelin
You got it, Sean. It is heart that is the answer. Heartless, sweetheart, heartbreak. Or I guess break heart, which is a cool sounding word. It's not a break heart.
Keri Aisley
It's the sequel to Shoot. Joke's too far away now.
Sean Hayes
It won't work.
Keri Aisley
Braveheart. Braveheart.
Elliot Kaelin
Braveheart. Braveheart. Yeah. I could see you reaching for the joke like a moth that was flying away that you were trying to catch with your hands.
Keri Aisley
Yeah, I was like, the two seconds is already gone.
Elliot Kaelin
Let's move on to round four. There are three words here, and those words are fun, jail, and fly.
Keri Aisley
Gok. Derra. And Gor.
Sean Hayes
And Gorgo. Bird. Fun. Bird. Bird. Jailbird. Bird. Fly. Fly. Bird. Nope.
Keri Aisley
Fly.
Sean Hayes
House.
Keri Aisley
House. Fly. Jailhouse. Yeah. House.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes. Fun. House. Jailhouse. Housefly. Very good. House is the answer.
Keri Aisley
Cherry's really good at this.
Elliot Kaelin
Yeah. You're both doing great. You're both doing great. Round 5. Your final round of the game. Here are the words. Line. As in to draw a line. Grace. And slide. Line. Grace. Slide.
Keri Aisley
Whistle. Grace. Whistle. Whistle. Grace. Line. Slide. Whistle. Slide.
Sean Hayes
Slide. Land. Land. Land. Land.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes. Darius. Land. Landline. Graceland and Landslide.
Keri Aisley
That's crazy. Landline. Yeah. That's good.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
I feel like, Carrie, there was, like a moment for each of these where your brain just clicked into it.
Sean Hayes
Right.
Elliot Kaelin
And you became like the ultimate combination of human and word.
Sean Hayes
Right? Oh, that's it. That's it. Right?
Elliot Kaelin
Exactly.
Keri Aisley
Yeah. That was really good. You imbecile.
Sean Hayes
Oh, thanks. You got heart. You did real good. You got heart.
Elliot Kaelin
This is. It's a Team game. So a win for each is a win for all. You know. That's true. That's right. That's the way to think about it. I know that you won't think about it that way, but that's the way that we should all think about it. We've come to the end of our Centipede, but as the old saying goes, the game ain't over until the megaclue sings. It's not really an old saying. I just made it up. The point is, you still have to solve today's mega clue. Mega clue question. Can you tell me what, or perhaps who connects all of the following clue words from today's game? Each of these is a word you created in those rounds. And the clue words for today are Spotlight, Lonesome, Heartbreak, Jailhouse, and Graceland.
Keri Aisley
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Elvis.
Keri Aisley
Oh, it says Elvis.
Elliot Kaelin
You got that right. It's Elvis. Specifically Elvis Presley. Not any other Elvis. No. Or st. Elvis. Right. Or an elf. Not an elf. Elfis. Yes. But great work. You have aced today's test. I forgot to tell you, it's a test. But you passed. Fantastic job. Listeners at home. Did you do as well as Sean and Carrie? If so, maybe you are Sean and Carrie. Better double check your passport to be sure. But keep listening while you do that or else you'll miss this episode's cliffhanger puzzle. The cliffhanger puzzle is like the mid credits scene in a Marvel movie in that you might not understand it until somebody nerdier explains it to you. Today's puzzle is about our old friend, the calendar. And it goes. March, May and August all have 31 days. But one of those months is shorter than the others. Which one is it?
Keri Aisley
March, May and August.
Elliot Kaelin
They all have 31 days.
Keri Aisley
Don't answer till the next episode. Carrie.
Sean Hayes
No, I didn't mean to. I was just sneezing.
Elliot Kaelin
I sneeze. Months, sometimes January. We'll find out the answer to that next episode. But that's all the clueless we've got for you today. If you want more puzzles, I guess we could put in a special order, but that could take days. You know how the guys at the warehouse are. But before we go, before we go, I'd like to thank Carey Aisley for really going the distance. I'd also like to thank Sean Hayes for going the least amount of distance he absolutely needed to and not an inch farther, destroying my life.
Keri Aisley
Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
Most of all, I'd like to thank you, the audience, for being a friend traveling down the road and back again. And if you threw a party invited everyone you knew you would see. The biggest gift would be from us and the card attached would say this has been Smartless Presents Clueless. I've Benelli Kaelin reminding you we'll be back next episode. Until then, you're just gonna have to find some other way to entertain yourself. Good luck Clueless.
Devin Tory Bryant
You have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes with those blue blue eyes. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Kevin Lehman. Talent producer is Anne Harris Associate Producer Matty McCann Social media producer Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.
Elliot Kaelin
Smart Less.
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Elliot Kaelin
You join Metro plus tax for a limited time and subject to change Max one offer per capita.
SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 133: "Word Centipede" (w/ Carrie Aizley)
Release Date: March 6, 2025
Host: Elliott Kalan
Guests: Sean Hayes, Carrie Aizley
[00:40] – Elliott Kalan
Elliott Kalan opens the episode by addressing a mistake from the previous episode. He corrects the answer to a puzzle previously attributed incorrectly to historical titles, stating, “The actual answer was 12. I apologize for the mix-up.” This sets a tone of transparency and engagement with the listeners.
Notable Quote:
“I apologize for the mix-up. This is Clueless. Clue. Clueless.” — Elliott Kalan [00:40]
[01:09] – Elliott Kalan & Sean Hayes
Elliott introduces Sean Hayes, humorously noting, “Sean, thanks for being here.” The episode features returning guest Carrie Aizley, praised with a flurry of positive adjectives: “the brilliant, the funny, the beautiful, the gorgeous, the talented, the wonderful human being that is Keri Aizley” [01:30].
Notable Quote:
“Sean, thanks for being here.” — Elliott Kalan [01:09]
[01:47] – Sean Hayes & Carrie Aizley
The conversation quickly turns playful as Sean lightly jokes about software updates and napping, leading into a humorous recount of a past dinner party experience shared by Sean. This segment emphasizes the camaraderie between the hosts and guests.
Notable Quote:
“I was updating my own software.” — Sean Hayes [01:56]
[07:35] – Elliott Kalan Introduces the Game
Elliott introduces "Word Centipede," explaining the rules: “I will give you a group of three words in each round. In exchange, you will have to tell me what word can go before or after each of those words to turn them into new compound words.” The game consists of five rounds, each contributing to a final mega clue.
Notable Quote:
“Are you ready to centipede these words?” — Elliott Kalan [07:35]
[08:11] – Sean & Carrie Respond
Sean promptly answers “Light,” correctly forming “Lightbulb,” “Spotlight,” and “Skylight.”
Notable Quote:
“Light.” — Sean Hayes [08:29]
[08:45] – Sean's Quick Answer
Carrie swiftly responds with “Some,” creating “Lonesome,” “Awesome,” and “Wholesome.”
Notable Quote:
“Some.” — Sean Hayes [08:57]
[09:38] – Struggle and Hint
After initial difficulty, Elliott provides a clue: “Think of a part of the body.” Sean deduces “Heart,” forming “Heartless,” “Sweetheart,” and “Heartbreak.”
Notable Quote:
“You got it, Sean. It is heart that is the answer.” — Elliott Kalan [11:18]
[11:45] – Successful Guessing
Sean correctly identifies “House,” resulting in “Funhouse,” “Jailhouse,” and “Housefly.”
Notable Quote:
“House.” — Sean Hayes [12:07]
[12:16] – Final Round Triumph
Carrie nails the answer “Land,” forming “Landline,” “Graceland,” and “Landslide.”
Notable Quote:
“Landline. Graceland and Landslide.” — Sean Hayes [12:40]
[13:06] – Solving the Mega Clue
Elliott presents the mega clue question, connecting “Spotlight,” “Lonesome,” “Heartbreak,” “Jailhouse,” and “Graceland.” Sean swiftly answers “Elvis,” tying all the clues to Elvis Presley.
Notable Quote:
“Elvis.” — Sean Hayes [13:49]
Elliott commends both Sean and Carrie for their performance, emphasizing teamwork: “It's a Team game. So a win for each is a win for all.” [12:57]
[15:01] – Leaving the Audience Hooked
Before wrapping up, Elliott introduces a cliffhanger puzzle for the next episode: “March, May and August all have 31 days. But one of those months is shorter than the others. Which one is it?” Listeners are left to ponder this intriguing question until the next episode.
Notable Quote:
“But one of those months is shorter than the others. Which one is it?” — Elliott Kalan [14:50]
[15:27] – Final Thanks
Elliott thanks Carrie for her exceptional participation and applauds Sean for his consistent contributions. He extends gratitude to the audience, encouraging them to continue engaging with the podcast.
Notable Quote:
“I've Benelli Kaelin reminding you we'll be back next episode. Until then, you're just gonna have to find some other way to entertain yourself. Good luck Clueless.” — Elliott Kalan [15:27]
Final Note: For those interested in honing their puzzle-solving skills or enjoying witty conversations, Episode 133 of "SmartLess Presents ClueLess" offers a delightful blend of both, anchored by the stellar performances of Elliott, Sean, and Carrie.