138 - It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Jeff Max)

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 138: It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Jeff Max) Summary

Release Date: March 24, 2025

---

Introduction

In the 138th episode of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan teams up once again with the charismatic Sean Hayes and returns guest Jeff Max to plunge into the world of puzzles and brainteasers. This episode, titled “It’s A Numbers Game”, challenges the contestants' numerical and lyrical prowess through a series of engaging games designed to test their speed and wit.

---

Recap of Previous Cliffhanger Puzzle

Elliott opens the episode by recapping the unresolved cliffhanger puzzle from the last episode:

[02:23] Elliott Kalan: "I’m going to read a sentence to you. Can you replace five parts of this sentence with five instances of the same word, a word that is not already in the sentence while keeping the meaning of the sentence the same?"

Despite their efforts, Sean and Jeff struggled to solve it, setting the stage for continued engagement.

---

Main Game: Numbers Game – Songs with Numbers Edition

Game Introduction

Elliott introduces the main game of the episode:

[07:37] Elliott Kalan: "This game is built around famous songs that have numbers in their title. I’m going to give you a simple equation, but instead of saying the numbers in the equation, I’m going to use a song title that has that number in it. Then I’ll leave a blank for the number."

He provides an example to illustrate the concept:

[07:57] Elliott Kalan: "Baby, blank more time minus, you're still the blank."

The contestants are to solve the equation using the missing numbers from song titles and earn bonus points by referencing songs that feature the resulting number.

Gameplay and Contestant Responses

1. Question 1: “Love Potion number blank minus blank princes.”

   • Jeff Max’s Guess:

     [09:11] Jeff Max: "Love Potion Number nine."

   • Elliott’s Confirmation:

     [09:15] Elliott Kalan: "It is Love Potion Number Nine. But it also could be interpreted as nine in German."

   • Outcome: Jeff earns the correct answer, securing his first point.

2. Question 2: “I would die, you times blank candles.”

   • Sean Hayes and Jeff Max Debate:

     [10:32] Jeff Max: "16 times four is 64."

     [10:37] Sean Hayes: "No, four times sixteen."

   • Elliott’s Explanation:

     [11:03] Elliott Kalan: "The answer is 64. If you think of the song 'When I'm 64' by The Beatles."

   • Outcome: Confusion ensues, but the correct number is revealed as 64.

3. Question 3: “Blank tons plus blank is the loneliest number.”

   • Contestants Struggle:

     [11:34] Elliott Kalan: "It's a song about hard physical labor and having a grueling job."

     [12:00] Elliott Kalan: "16 tons."

   • Outcome: Sean and Jeff deduce the number 17, referencing the song "16 Going on 17" from The Sound of Music, earning a bonus point.

4. Question 4: “Mambo number blank minus it takes blank.”

   • Sean’s Initial Guess:

     [13:30] Sean Hayes: "Mambo number ten."

   • Correction and Final Answer:

     [13:50] Jeff Max: "Mambo number five. Minus two equals three."

   • Outcome: The correct number is 8, with Jeff earning another point.

5. Question 5: “Blank out of blank ain't bad plus knock blank times.”

   • Collaborative Effort:

     [14:29] Sean Hayes: "Two out of three ain't bad."

     [15:20] Elliott Kalan: "Eight days a week."

   • Outcome: The final number is 99, leading to a cumulative score of seven points out of ten.

Throughout the game, the chemistry between Sean and Jeff adds humor and spontaneity, highlighted by memorable moments such as:

[10:56] Jeff Max: "1 on 64."

[12:30] Elliott Kalan: "16 Going on 17 is the title."

---

Mega Clue Question

Post the standard questions, Elliott introduces the Mega Clue:

[16:02] Elliott Kalan: "Add up all the numbers that you gave as answers to remind you. Those numbers were 7, 64, 17, 3, and 8. And tell me, is there any famous song you can think of which prominently features that resulting number?"

• Sean’s Answer:

  [16:24] Sean Hayes: "99 Luft Balloons."

• Elliott’s Confirmation:

  [16:27] Elliott Kalan: "Exactly. The answer is 99, and the song is '99 Luft Balloons.'"

Sean and Jeff earn significant points, culminating in an impressive final score.

---

Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the episode draws to a close, Elliott presents the Cliffhanger Puzzle:

[17:13] Elliott Kalan: "What kind of cake is this a recipe for? 2 parts cactus, 1 part rattlesnake, 2 parts roadrunner, 1 part turmeric."

Leaving the answer for the next episode, the puzzle adds an exciting element of anticipation.

---

Conclusion and Acknowledgements

Elliott wraps up the episode with heartfelt thanks:

[18:05] Elliott Kalan: "I want to thank Jeff Max for being an inspiring example of keeping cool under pressure. And Sean Hayes for being an inspiring example of mindless panic."

He encourages listeners to engage further by following, subscribing, rating, and reviewing the show. The episode concludes with playful banter and a nod to potential surprises:

[18:06] Elliott Kalan: "Live every day like it's your last, because someday it will be."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [00:23] Elliott Kalan: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

• [09:15] Elliott Kalan: "Set can mean a concert, part of a tennis match, a television, dishes you're putting on the table, change in time at a clock."

• [12:37] Elliott Kalan: "16 Going on 17 is the title."

• [15:20] Elliott Kalan: "Maybe 'Eight Days a Week.'"

• [16:02] Elliott Kalan: "Add up all the numbers... is there any famous song you can think of which prominently features that resulting number?"

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 138 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess masterfully blends numerical challenges with musical trivia, offering both entertaining and thought-provoking content. Sean Hayes and Jeff Max’s dynamic interplay enriches the experience, making it a standout episode for fans of puzzles and playful banter alike.

---

Transcript

[Elliot Kaelin]

Today's episode of Clueless is sponsored by Monopoly. And their three brand new expansions get faster gameplay and fresh twists with free parking. Jackpot. Go to jail and buy everything available now. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.

[Sean Hayes]

Smart Less mediocre.

[Elliot Kaelin]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Wait, a woodchuck can't chuck wood. Why am I just finding this out now? What am I going to do with all this wood that needs chucking? This is Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

Clueless.

[Jeff Max]

Clueless. Bang a bang a bang. Pow. I'm Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast that tests your brain but not your patients. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and when I grow up, I want to be a fireman. Now, please welcome a guy I think you're really going to like if you give him a chance. The of our show, Sean Hayes. Thank you, Sean, for being here.

[Jeff Max]

Hello, Elliot. What a joy to be here today. I'm gonna introduce our guest today. His name. I'm gonna wait till the end because it's two first names. And I still haven't figured out which name is his first name. But by the way, Jeff, what's your middle name?

[Sean Hayes]

Scott.

[Jeff Max]

Okay, three names, three first names. And we grew up together. We were in theater together in Chicago. He's a phenomenal talent, a phenomenal human being. One of the funniest people I've ever known, and also one of the loudest people. No, the loudest person I've ever known in my entire life. His name is Jeff. Scott. Max. Pick one.

[Sean Hayes]

Hello.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Really delivering on the loudness right off the bat. I appreciate that, Sean. I'm always so happy you're here. Jeff, I'm so glad to have you back. Before we start the show, I have a little problem. I tied a string around my finger to remember something, but I don't remember what I needed to remember. I know. I dropped off my library books. I picked up my donor kidney. It's not like we have any unsolved cliffhanger puzzles to deal with. No, that's it. Yes, we do have an unsolved cliffhanger puzzle to deal with. Thank you. Finger string. Now, I know you guys have been working away on this one, but I'll remember the kidney.

[Jeff Max]

I'll take it.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm so glad. I'm so glad you remember the kidney.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I know that. Well, I tied a string around a different finger for that one. Yeah. You may remember, last episode's cliffhanger puzzle went thusly. I'M going to read a sentence to you. Can you replace five parts of this sentence with five instances of the same word, A word that is not already in the sentence while keeping the meaning of the sentence the same? And that sentence was, after watching a concert and part of a tennis match on my tv, I put dishes on the table, then turned my clock back for daylight saving time. Sean, Jeff, have you solved it? What is the word?

[Sean Hayes]

I mean, I have no idea.

[Jeff Max]

I don't either. These are so hard after watching a concert.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So I would think about what is a word that could mean, for instance, part of a tennis match or putting dishes on the table or TV routine or set.

[Jeff Max]

Set. Setting or set.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, it's set. That's exactly right. You could make a new sentence that said, after watching a set and a set on my set, I set the table, then set my clock back for daylight saving time? So you got it exactly right. It is set. Set can mean a concert, part of a tennis match, a television, dishes you're putting on the table, change in time at a clock. There are over 400 definitions of the word set.

[Jeff Max]

Is there really?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. It was once the longest entry in the Oxford English Dictionary until it was surpassed in recent decades by the word run. I guess there's more meanings for run now.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, wow. Wow.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. But don't worry, set. I think you can take the crown. Yeah.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, there's the catchphrase.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, sorry I stepped on it. Let's hear your catchphrase again, Wrigley. And now your second catchphrase.

[Sean Hayes]

Never knew.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Love it. Love it.

[Jeff Max]

Hey, clueless listeners, Sean Hayes here. Do you like to buy everything? Well, I can't help you with that, but Monopoly can. With the new buy everything expansion for Monopoly, you can literally buy anything on the board. That means you can buy jail, you can buy free parking, community chest. Everything on the board is up for grabs. Yep, every single space is for sale. And that means no more waiting for your turn to land on something good. Add the expansion to any classic Monopoly board, roll the buy die, grab more abilities and unlock ways to win faster. The game ends when all properties are owned. But you, you could end it way sooner if you're playing smart. I've been playing Monopoly my whole life. As you know. That's why I'm on this podcast is I'm a huge gamer. I love all kinds of games and Monopoly is one of my favorite games of all time. And why not add the buy everything pack? Because, you know my husband Scotty, to buy everything and it's super fun when we play with that add on from Monopoly. So if you want to own everything, get your hands on this expansion. Maybe spinning for big cash or playing dirty with Corruption cards is more your speed. However you play, Monopoly has three new expansions for you to explore and if you're a person who likes to buy everything, you'll probably want all three expansions, which are all available now on Amazon. A classic board is required to play, but you can buy that on Amazon too. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro Is.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Your child struggling with a specific subject or need help with homework? IXL Learning is an online learning program for kids. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies. If your child is struggling, this is the smartest investment you can make. A single hour of tutoring costs more than A month of IXL and IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the United States. I don't know what's with those other four school districts. They gotta get with the program. Look, as a parent of children, I I know that some subjects they pick up right away and others they really struggle with. Sometimes they need extra help outside of the classroom and IXL is the kind of help that can get them to where they need to be. If your child's having trouble the same way, then IXL learning might be that extra boost they need to excel in the subject that they're currently not excelling in while they're excelling in all the other subjects make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and Smartless Presents Clueless listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com visit ixl.com clueless to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. At T Mobile we'll give you four free 5G phones and four lines for only $25 per line per month with eligible trade ins. And no, it's not a contest, it's every day for a limited time. Everyone's a winner on America's largest 5G network. Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with autopay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay. Up to $830 off each phone via 24 month taxes, fees and $10 device connection charge for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue build credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement too. Bill credits end if you pay up devices early. CT mobile.com listeners did you get the answer? If so, take a victory lap around the room. Your legs are getting jealous of how much time you're giving to your brain. But sit right back down when you're done because it's time for this episode's main game. It's a Numbers Game Songs with Numbers Edition. It's a numbers Game with Songs Edition. You can tell that this is an older game with an older song because the song is not a minute long with different movements.

[Jeff Max]

Right, right, right, right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Still a great song, though. This game is built around famous songs that have numbers in their title. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a simple equation, but instead of saying the numbers are in the equation, I'm going to use a song title that has that number in it. Then I'm going to leave a blank for the number. It's going to sound complicated, Jeff, but I'll give you an example and you'll totally get it.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay?

[Elliot Kaelin]

You'll solve the equation using the missing numbers from the song title, and you get a bonus point for answering in the form of a song with the solution number in its title. So, for example, if I said baby, blank more time minus, you're still the blank, then the answer would be.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, baby, hit me one more time. Right?

[Sean Hayes]

Zero.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. The answer would be zero. Exactly. Because give me your work. Give me your work on it. What are the songs?

[Sean Hayes]

Hit me one more time Minus, you're the one.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Minus, you're still the one. Exactly.

[Sean Hayes]

You're still the one. Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And you could say zero by Smashing Pumpkins or less than zero by Elvis Costello by Love minus zero by Bob Dylan. Any zero song. Any song with a zero in it.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, and then you have to. Got it, got it, got it, got it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

But don't worry about that too much because again, the points don't matter. There's no rewards. It's just wanting to play the game.

[Jeff Max]

Jeff's going to check his mailbox for like a week after this just to make sure.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I was promised I worked.

[Sean Hayes]

Sean. Sean. I still haven't gotten the points. Sean.

[Jeff Max]

Just FYI. Sean.

[Sean Hayes]

Sean.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So let's begin. The first question is Love Potion number blank minus blank princes.

[Jeff Max]

Well, isn't it love potion 1 9? Oh, yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

What I like is that that is true. It is Love Potion number nine. But it also was like you were answering him in German because as if that was nine. Love Potion Number one nine.

[Jeff Max]

How many princes remember that song? Just go ahead now. Princess Diva 2 before you. Just go ahead now. Just go ahead now. Marry me. Marry him. I'm the one that loved it. Baby, can't you see I ain't got notes of it or a fancy.

[Sean Hayes]

But you're missing the important part.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No, what's important to know is that Sean knows all the lyrics to the song except for the title.

[Jeff Max]

Two Princes. It's gotta be two.

[Sean Hayes]

I was gonna say two princes. So seven.

[Jeff Max]

Well, there's. What's the song, Jeff, from Seven Brides or Seven Brothers?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Well, we're seven brothers and we need seven brides.

[Jeff Max]

That's it, yeah. Oh, gosh, I'm gonna hate myself. I know there's a song with seven in it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

All right, I think we should move on. I think we should move on. But, for instance, you could say Seven Nation army by the White Stripes, who showed up in a previous episode.

[Sean Hayes]

Sure did.

[Jeff Max]

How about this? Seven swans of swimming Six geese a lang.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, that would have been good.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Would have been good. Again, not the title of the song.

[Jeff Max]

No, no.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Such a great memory for lyrics, Sean, not for the titles. Question number two. I would die, you times blank candles.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, 16 times four is 64. Yeah. 16 times four.

[Sean Hayes]

No, four times 16.

[Jeff Max]

That's what I just said. 20 times.

[Sean Hayes]

So 64.

[Jeff Max]

No, no, 16 times four is.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It is 64.

[Sean Hayes]

Are you insane?

[Jeff Max]

Are you? Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. 64.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And can you think of any 64 songs?

[Jeff Max]

64.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Very good. One on 64.

[Sean Hayes]

Very nice, but originated by Ethel Merman.

[Elliot Kaelin]

When I'm 64. Question number three. Blank tons plus blank is the loneliest number.

[Jeff Max]

Wait, what? Say it again.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Blank tons. T O, N S plus blank is the loneliest number.

[Jeff Max]

Something plus one. I don't know. Tons. Eight tons. Eight tons of fun. Is that right?

[Sean Hayes]

Tons.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's not correct. So you said one is the loneliest number. Yeah, yeah, that's correct. So what about a song with tons in it?

[Jeff Max]

Tons?

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's a song I bet you've heard. It's an older song. It's not a new song.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Elliot Kaelin]

A song about hard physical labor and having a grueling job that you'll never get out of.

[Sean Hayes]

Is it a chain gang?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. Would you like me to tell you the answer?

[Jeff Max]

Yes, please.

[Elliot Kaelin]

16 tons. 16 tons.

[Sean Hayes]

I would have never gotten that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You move 16 tons, what do you get another day older. Keep on that, etc. So the answer would be 17.

[Sean Hayes]

17.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Just as if you want to get that point. What's the song with 17 in the title?

[Sean Hayes]

You are 16 going on 17.

[Jeff Max]

That's not the name of the song. No.

[Sean Hayes]

All of a sudden you're going to be the arbiter of what it is.

[Jeff Max]

No, no. There's an old song that I love from the 70s. Okay. It's. I forget who sings it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Are you thinking of edge of 17?

[Jeff Max]

No, but that's a good.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, that's a great song.

[Sean Hayes]

But that would work.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, we are thinking of that also.

[Sean Hayes]

By the way, 16 going on 17 is a song that's from Sound of Music.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Is that the title? That's the title.

[Sean Hayes]

16 going on 17.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, yeah. We just heard from our judges. That is 16 going on 17 is the title.

[Sean Hayes]

That's right. Thank you, God voice.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So you know what? I'm giving you a bonus point, even though you didn't get the main point. Very nice.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah. Janice. Ian at 17.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, right. I learned the truth that said 17.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

But about 10 minutes before that, I got 16 going on 17. So I just want to. You know, I don't. You know me. I don't like to talk.

[Jeff Max]

No, no.

[Sean Hayes]

But in this instant, I want to.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Add that you'd be doing yourself an injustice if you didn't speak Irish.

[Sean Hayes]

And the audience.

[Jeff Max]

I was so rocky in the audience.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number four. Mambo number. Blank minus. It takes blank.

[Jeff Max]

Mambo number. It's like. It's that.

[Sean Hayes]

Is it mambo number 10?

[Jeff Max]

Yeah, I thought it was 10.

[Sean Hayes]

10 minus 2. It takes 2.

[Jeff Max]

8.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. 8.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Is that your answer?

[Jeff Max]

Yeah, that's our answer.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It is not the right answer.

[Sean Hayes]

Mambo number nine.

[Jeff Max]

Number number nine.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You have misnumbered the mambo. Lower number. You gotta keep moving.

[Jeff Max]

Not mambo number six.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No, even lower.

[Jeff Max]

Mambo number five.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, exactly. Mambo number five. Yeah.

[Jeff Max]

Okay, wait. Five minus two, three.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Three.

[Jeff Max]

Three, three. Well, I mean, there's a billion songs of three. Three blind mice. Three blind mice.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, well, yeah. I think it's supposed to be like a.

[Jeff Max]

Like a pop song. Yeah, like something like something that people listen to.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, maybe.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You know, you don't. After a hard day at work, you know, you don't get into your car and start blasting Three blind Mice.

[Sean Hayes]

Three blind mice.

[Jeff Max]

Wait three times. You know, you're once twice. Three times a lady.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Three times a lady. Very good. It's a song with three in it. I'll give you a bonus point for that. Yeah. Question number five. Blank out of blank ain't bad. Plus knock blank times.

[Sean Hayes]

Knock three times on the if you love me and 200 ain't bad.

[Jeff Max]

Two out of three it's got to be two out of three.

[Sean Hayes]

Two out of three ain't bad.

[Jeff Max]

Two out of 3. What?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Two and a three ain't bad. Plus knock blank Times. So add them all together.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

So eight.

[Jeff Max]

So six, seven, eight. Eight.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, but now we have to get the song.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah, I got it. So I got it.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay.

[Jeff Max]

Eight is enough to fill our lives.

[Sean Hayes]

To fill our lives with love in the early morning.

[Jeff Max]

Jesus. God help us.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Wait, I'll accept it. I'll accept it.

[Sean Hayes]

Is there like a, like an octopus song?

[Elliot Kaelin]

There is, but I don't. But they don't mention that. I mean, I guess Octo is eight. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

[Jeff Max]

Eight. Eight. Would you guys tell us, Elliot, what's a good song with eight?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Maybe let's say eight days a week.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, my God. Of course, of course.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You could have said another Beatles song. Octopus is garden, octo is eight. I am going to give you the bonus point for the 8 is an 8 is a no, because 8 is.

[Jeff Max]

Enough to fill a life with a love. Right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So tallying up the score for that game, you had 1, 3, 4, 5, 7 points out of a possible 10. Really nice work. But you've got another chance to increase your score by, let's say, a million points. I don't know, because those are some great regular sized clues and I think you've worked your way up to an even bigger clue, perhaps even a mega clue.

[Sean Hayes]

Mega clue question.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So for today's mega clue, you're going to need a pad and paper.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I want you to add up all the numbers that you gave as answers to remind you. Those numbers were 7, 64, 17, 3, and 8. And tell me, is there any famous song you can think of which prominently features that resulting number?

[Sean Hayes]

99. 99. Blushed balloons.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. Very good.

[Jeff Max]

How did you.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The answer is 99 and the song is 99. Luft balloons. I'll accept lushed balloons. It's German, you know.

[Sean Hayes]

Nein.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We showed that you can speak German earlier.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. Nein is a theme.

[Jeff Max]

Means no. No balloons.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No. No. Wonderful job. You got the megaclue, which means your end score is a million and seven points. Listeners at home, did you do as well as Sean and Jeff? If not, I expect you to record it accurately in the annual report that is mandatory for all clueless listeners. I look forward to reading those. But before you kiss that year end bonus goodbye, you've got another chance to make good. And it's in today's cliffhanger puzzle.

[Jeff Max]

Don't, don't, Don't.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The Cliffhanger puzzle is a puzzle scientifically designed to be answered while hanging off a cliff. Is your cliff ready? Okay, then. Your cliffhanger puzzle goes based on these ingredients. What kind of cake is this a recipe for? 2 parts cactus, 1 part rattlesnake, 2 parts roadrunner, 1 part turmeric. What kind of cake is this a recipe for? Again, I'll say two parts cactus, one part rattlesnake, two parts roadrunner, and one part turmeric.

[Sean Hayes]

Are we supposed to answer?

[Elliot Kaelin]

No. Don't worry. In fact, even if you knew the answer, I wouldn't want you to answer now. We'll find out on the next episode.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, we just ended really quietly.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We did. Well, in fact, did you hear that sound? Did you hear that thump sound from above?

[Jeff Max]

What?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Either Santa's here early or the aliens are back. Either way, I should end the episode and check that out.

[Jeff Max]

Sure.

[Elliot Kaelin]

But first, I want to thank Jeff Max for being an inspiring example of keeping cool under pressure. And I'd like to thank Sean Hayes for being an inspiring example of mindless panic. Both will be very inspiring. But most of all, I'd like to thank you, the listener, for being so inspired by both of them. You've been listening to Smartless presents Clueless. And I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, saying, live every Day like it's yous Last, because someday it will be. What an ominous joke to end on. Bye, everybody.

[Sean Hayes]

So much fun.

[Jeff Max]

That was great. That was great.

[Sean Hayes]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kalin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who does Like Candy. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Kevin Lehman and myself. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer, Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thank you to our partner, Monopoly for supporting today's episode. Just like Clueless is a shorter, faster show from Smartless Media, Monopoly is introducing three new expansion packs that you add on to classic Monopoly for fresh twists, faster gameplay, and a modern take on the game you love. I'm talking about Monopoly. Look out for the all new Buy everything, Go to jail or free parking. Jackpot Expansions to spice up your next game night, pick your expansion and level up your game. Available now on Amazon, Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.

[Sean Hayes]

Smart Less Medium.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Today, the beverage aisle looks a lot different than it used to. America's beverage companies are working together. We're delivering the options everyone wants. In fact, nearly 60% of beverages Americans buy have zero sugar. You'll find more variety than ever, including more of your favorites, now available with zero sugar. You'll also find more sizes and clear calorie information on the front of every can, bottle and pack. We know when it comes to finding balance, the more choices, the better.