138 - It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Jeff Max)

Mon Mar 24 2025

On this episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes invite Sean’s good friend Jeff Max to tackle a new round of an old favorite - It’s A Numbers Game! This time, Elliott will be giving you simple math equations in the form of famous song titles with the numbers removed, can you solve the clues faster than Sean and Jeff, and can you answer in the form of a song title? Keep track of your answers to solve the MegaClue! New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Devon Torrey Bryant and Kevin Leman. Script by Elliott Kalan. Music and sound effects by Devon Torrey Bryant.

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 138: It’s A Numbers Game (w/ Jeff Max) Summary

Release Date: March 24, 2025

Introduction

In the 138th episode of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan teams up once again with the charismatic Sean Hayes and returns guest Jeff Max to plunge into the world of puzzles and brainteasers. This episode, titled “It’s A Numbers Game”, challenges the contestants' numerical and lyrical prowess through a series of engaging games designed to test their speed and wit.

Recap of Previous Cliffhanger Puzzle

Elliott opens the episode by recapping the unresolved cliffhanger puzzle from the last episode:

[02:23] Elliott Kalan: "I’m going to read a sentence to you. Can you replace five parts of this sentence with five instances of the same word, a word that is not already in the sentence while keeping the meaning of the sentence the same?"

Despite their efforts, Sean and Jeff struggled to solve it, setting the stage for continued engagement.

Main Game: Numbers Game – Songs with Numbers Edition

Game Introduction

Elliott introduces the main game of the episode:

[07:37] Elliott Kalan: "This game is built around famous songs that have numbers in their title. I’m going to give you a simple equation, but instead of saying the numbers in the equation, I’m going to use a song title that has that number in it. Then I’ll leave a blank for the number."

He provides an example to illustrate the concept:

[07:57] Elliott Kalan: "Baby, blank more time minus, you're still the blank."

The contestants are to solve the equation using the missing numbers from song titles and earn bonus points by referencing songs that feature the resulting number.

Gameplay and Contestant Responses

Question 1: “Love Potion number blank minus blank princes.”
- Jeff Max’s Guess:
  
  [09:11] Jeff Max: "Love Potion Number nine."
- Elliott’s Confirmation:
  
  [09:15] Elliott Kalan: "It is Love Potion Number Nine. But it also could be interpreted as nine in German."
- Outcome: Jeff earns the correct answer, securing his first point.
Question 2: “I would die, you times blank candles.”
- Sean Hayes and Jeff Max Debate:
  
  [10:32] Jeff Max: "16 times four is 64."
  
  [10:37] Sean Hayes: "No, four times sixteen."
- Elliott’s Explanation:
  
  [11:03] Elliott Kalan: "The answer is 64. If you think of the song 'When I'm 64' by The Beatles."
- Outcome: Confusion ensues, but the correct number is revealed as 64.
Question 3: “Blank tons plus blank is the loneliest number.”
- Contestants Struggle:
  
  [11:34] Elliott Kalan: "It's a song about hard physical labor and having a grueling job."
  
  [12:00] Elliott Kalan: "16 tons."
- Outcome: Sean and Jeff deduce the number 17, referencing the song "16 Going on 17" from The Sound of Music, earning a bonus point.
Question 4: “Mambo number blank minus it takes blank.”
- Sean’s Initial Guess:
  
  [13:30] Sean Hayes: "Mambo number ten."
- Correction and Final Answer:
  
  [13:50] Jeff Max: "Mambo number five. Minus two equals three."
- Outcome: The correct number is 8, with Jeff earning another point.
Question 5: “Blank out of blank ain't bad plus knock blank times.”
- Collaborative Effort:
  
  [14:29] Sean Hayes: "Two out of three ain't bad."
  
  [15:20] Elliott Kalan: "Eight days a week."
- Outcome: The final number is 99, leading to a cumulative score of seven points out of ten.

Throughout the game, the chemistry between Sean and Jeff adds humor and spontaneity, highlighted by memorable moments such as:

[10:56] Jeff Max: "1 on 64."

[12:30] Elliott Kalan: "16 Going on 17 is the title."

Mega Clue Question

Post the standard questions, Elliott introduces the Mega Clue:

[16:02] Elliott Kalan: "Add up all the numbers that you gave as answers to remind you. Those numbers were 7, 64, 17, 3, and 8. And tell me, is there any famous song you can think of which prominently features that resulting number?"

Sean’s Answer:

[16:24] Sean Hayes: "99 Luft Balloons."
Elliott’s Confirmation:

[16:27] Elliott Kalan: "Exactly. The answer is 99, and the song is '99 Luft Balloons.'"

Sean and Jeff earn significant points, culminating in an impressive final score.

Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the episode draws to a close, Elliott presents the Cliffhanger Puzzle:

[17:13] Elliott Kalan: "What kind of cake is this a recipe for? 2 parts cactus, 1 part rattlesnake, 2 parts roadrunner, 1 part turmeric."

Leaving the answer for the next episode, the puzzle adds an exciting element of anticipation.

Conclusion and Acknowledgements

Elliott wraps up the episode with heartfelt thanks:

[18:05] Elliott Kalan: "I want to thank Jeff Max for being an inspiring example of keeping cool under pressure. And Sean Hayes for being an inspiring example of mindless panic."

He encourages listeners to engage further by following, subscribing, rating, and reviewing the show. The episode concludes with playful banter and a nod to potential surprises:

[18:06] Elliott Kalan: "Live every day like it's your last, because someday it will be."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

[00:23] Elliott Kalan: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
[09:15] Elliott Kalan: "Set can mean a concert, part of a tennis match, a television, dishes you're putting on the table, change in time at a clock."
[12:37] Elliott Kalan: "16 Going on 17 is the title."
[15:20] Elliott Kalan: "Maybe 'Eight Days a Week.'"
[16:02] Elliott Kalan: "Add up all the numbers... is there any famous song you can think of which prominently features that resulting number?"

Final Thoughts

Episode 138 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess masterfully blends numerical challenges with musical trivia, offering both entertaining and thought-provoking content. Sean Hayes and Jeff Max’s dynamic interplay enriches the experience, making it a standout episode for fans of puzzles and playful banter alike.

Transcript

Elliot Kaelin (0:00)

Today's episode of Clueless is sponsored by Monopoly. And their three brand new expansions get faster gameplay and fresh twists with free parking. Jackpot. Go to jail and buy everything available now. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.

Sean Hayes (0:14)

Smart Less mediocre.

Elliot Kaelin (0:23)

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Wait, a woodchuck can't chuck wood. Why am I just finding this out now? What am I going to do with all this wood that needs chucking? This is Clueless.

Sean Hayes (0:34)

Clueless.

Jeff Max (0:37)

Clueless. Bang a bang a bang. Pow. I'm Clueless.

Elliot Kaelin (0:46)

Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast that tests your brain but not your patients. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and when I grow up, I want to be a fireman. Now, please welcome a guy I think you're really going to like if you give him a chance. The of our show, Sean Hayes. Thank you, Sean, for being here.

Jeff Max (1:00)

Hello, Elliot. What a joy to be here today. I'm gonna introduce our guest today. His name. I'm gonna wait till the end because it's two first names. And I still haven't figured out which name is his first name. But by the way, Jeff, what's your middle name?

Sean Hayes (1:13)

Scott.

Jeff Max (1:13)

Okay, three names, three first names. And we grew up together. We were in theater together in Chicago. He's a phenomenal talent, a phenomenal human being. One of the funniest people I've ever known, and also one of the loudest people. No, the loudest person I've ever known in my entire life. His name is Jeff. Scott. Max. Pick one.

Sean Hayes (1:36)

Hello.

Elliot Kaelin (1:37)

Really delivering on the loudness right off the bat. I appreciate that, Sean. I'm always so happy you're here. Jeff, I'm so glad to have you back. Before we start the show, I have a little problem. I tied a string around my finger to remember something, but I don't remember what I needed to remember. I know. I dropped off my library books. I picked up my donor kidney. It's not like we have any unsolved cliffhanger puzzles to deal with. No, that's it. Yes, we do have an unsolved cliffhanger puzzle to deal with. Thank you. Finger string. Now, I know you guys have been working away on this one, but I'll remember the kidney.