
On this episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes welcome back Sean’s husband Scotty for another flip through the Bizarro TV Guide! A copy of the TV listings has fallen into Elliott’s possession from an alternate universe where things are pretty opposite, can you make heads or tails of the titles in their Prestige Drama section, and translate them back into our world? Keep track of your answers, you’ll need them to solve the MegaClue! New episodes every Monday and Thursday. Puzzles in this episode are by Josh Richmond, Devon Torrey Bryant, and Kevin Leman. Script by Elliott Kalan. Music and sound effects by Devon Torrey Bryant.
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Elliot Kaelin
Today's episode of Clueless is sponsored by Monopoly, and their three brand new expansions get faster gameplay and fresh twists with free parking. Jackpot. Go to jail and buy everything available now. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro Smart Blast Media. Did you know a baby horse can walk only two hours after birth? Sounds impressive. Until you realize a horse's ambition pretty much ends right there. I dare you to show me a horse with a degree from a reputable junior college. This is Clueless.
Sean Hayes
Clueless.
Elliot Kaelin
Clueless.
Scotty Eisenogle
I'm Clueless.
Elliot Kaelin
Welcome to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's so good, it should be called Clue. More. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and I'm in your closet right now trying on all your clothes. Now, please welcome the man of the hour, or more accurately, the man of the next 12 to 15 minutes, Sean Hayes. Sean, thank you so much for being here with us today.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, wait. Shoot. Did I just cheer for myself? Thank you. Thank you for having me. Someone's got to thank you for having me. Today we're joined by the affable, the lovable, the incredible, handsome, intelligent. Did I say this on the previous episode? Scotty Eisenogle.
Devin Tory Bryant
Oh, you're talking about me. Oh, that's so nice.
Scotty Eisenogle
Why don't you tell everybody how you know me.
Devin Tory Bryant
How I cheer for you?
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, exactly. I'm still working on last episode's cliffhanger.
Elliot Kaelin
Well, you're still working on it. Well, you're running out of time because, Sean, Scotty, as the host of this show, I'm also kind of your boss. So I think it's time for me to say, break's over. Back to work. These puzzles ain't gonna solve themselves. Let's get to it, everybody. Factory whistle sound. Factory whistle sound. Okay, clock in. So let's start. Let's get that cliffhanger puzzle solved. To remind you, the puzzle went thusly. I gave you a list of words that all have something was to provide another word from some choices that fits in the same category. Now, the words with something in common were education, tambourine, sequoia, miscellaneous, and multimillionaire. And your choices for the word to add to those words were automobile, buttermilk, weightlifter, and undergarment. Sean, Scotty, do you have it? Do you know which word goes with the other words?
Scotty Eisenogle
So education, tambourine, sequoia, miscellaneous, and multimillionaire all have to be. Have something in common. And then we think of those other four. Well, sequoia is a big, big, big tree, right? Like in Northern trees. And it keeps growing. So education, you know, if you're smart, that should keep growing. Tambourines don't grow, okay? So that doesn't work. Tambourine shakes and shakes and rattles.
Devin Tory Bryant
It's round. Is round.
Scotty Eisenogle
It's round. The sequoia basis of the sequoia is round.
Devin Tory Bryant
That is true education.
Scotty Eisenogle
You get around a lot of millionaires.
Devin Tory Bryant
Around because they're fat.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, well, miscellaneous is. So that's the one that's throwing me. Because miscellaneous is a lots of things because it's miscellaneous. So it makes me think it has something to do with the word or the way the word is constructed or the letters within the word.
Elliot Kaelin
I can neither confirm or deny that you are on the right track. Okay, but you are.
Devin Tory Bryant
These are tricky.
Scotty Eisenogle
Wait, Sequoias. S E, Q, U, Q, U, I.
Elliot Kaelin
A, S E, Q U, O, I.
Scotty Eisenogle
A, U, O, I, A. Okay. S E, Q, U. So O, A, E, I, O, U. They all have every vowel. A, E, I, O, U. So now we go down to automobile. A, E, I, O, U. Automobile.
Devin Tory Bryant
Automobile.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes. The correct answer is automobile. That's right. The category is words that contain all five vowels. Education, tambourine, sequoia, miscellaneous, multimillionaire. They've all got all five vowels. We do not consider why a vowel on clueless. We never will. And automobile, of those options is the only one with all five vowels in it. So how about that?
Devin Tory Bryant
Yeah, I know.
Elliot Kaelin
Excellent.
Scotty Eisenogle
Hey, clueless listeners. Sean Hayes here. Do you like to buy everything? Well, I can't help you with that, but Monopoly can. With the new Buy Everything expansion for Monopoly, you can literally buy anything on the board. That means you can buy jail, you can buy free parking, community chest. Everything on the board is up for grabs. Yep, every single space is for sale. And that means no more waiting for your turn to land on something good. Add the expansion to any classic Monopoly board, roll the Buy D, grab more abilities, and unlock ways to win faster. The game ends when all properties are owned, but you, you could end it way sooner if you're playing smart. I've been playing Monopoly my whole life, as you know. That's why I'm on this podcast is I'm a huge gamer. I love all kinds of games, and Monopoly is one of my favorite games of all time. And why not add the Buy Everything pack? Because, you know, my husband Scotty likes to buy everything, and it's super fun when we play with that add on for Monopoly. So if you want to own everything, get your hands on this expansion. May Spinning for big cash or playing dirty with Corruption cards is more your speed. However you play, Monopoly has three new expansions for you to explore. And if you're a person who likes to buy everything, you'll probably want all three expansions, which are all available now on Amazon. A classic board is required to play, but you can buy that on Amazon too. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro.
Unknown
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Elliot Kaelin
Listers @ Home did you get the answer? If not, just say you did. It's okay, nobody's gonna tell on you. Like it doesn't matter. Just try your best though, to stay honest with today's main game. Bizarro TV Prestige TV Edition Bizarro Bizarro.
Sean Hayes
TV Guide TV Guide what's on now?
Devin Tory Bryant
Ah, did we get Depeche Mode to record that?
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, we did. The game came in very expensive, but it was worth it. It's all up there. Wow, you recognize them right away. Now this game is a twist on a clueless classic. Instead of reality TV, we found 10 critically acclaimed prestige TV titles that are popular in Bizarro Land, the world where everything is the opposite of our own normal world. Normal from our point of view, that is. So each of the titles I'm going to give you is the opposite of a TV show title from our universe, and you've got to figure out the real world counterpart. For example, this is the example in Bizarro Land, Repairing Good is a popular prestige show. In our world, we know it as Breaking Bad. That's right, Breaking Bad. So are you ready to play? In Bizarro World, they would say no, but that would mean yes.
Scotty Eisenogle
So are you ready?
Elliot Kaelin
But in Bizarre World, that would mean no. You know what? We'll just assume you're ready. We'll just assume. Okay.
Sean Hayes
Bizarro TV Guide.
Elliot Kaelin
Question number one. The bases.
Scotty Eisenogle
The bases. Like B, A, S, E, s or B A, S?
Elliot Kaelin
I, S. Good question. B, A, S, S, E, S. Oh, bases.
Devin Tory Bryant
The bases. The Sopranos. The Sopranos.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yes, the Sopranos. Nice, nice, nice.
Elliot Kaelin
Very good. Question two. Similarly, the Canadians.
Scotty Eisenogle
The American. The Americans.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, the Americans. The exact opposite of Americans. Canadians. Question number three. Chug, loosen, tuck, nip, tuck. Yes. Nip, tuck. Very good.
Devin Tory Bryant
Nice.
Elliot Kaelin
Question number four. Depression.
Scotty Eisenogle
Happiness.
Devin Tory Bryant
Happiness.
Scotty Eisenogle
Depression.
Elliot Kaelin
What would be the extreme opposite of deep depression, which is also the name of a television show?
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh.
Elliot Kaelin
Oh. Oh.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, I didn't see it. It's called Joy. Or it's just like, depression, joy, happy. I don't know.
Devin Tory Bryant
Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
Would you like to know the answer? Yes. Euphoria.
Devin Tory Bryant
Euphoria.
Elliot Kaelin
Oh, gosh.
Devin Tory Bryant
Euphoria. Yes. Yes.
Scotty Eisenogle
Well, in Bizarro Land, happiness could all.
Elliot Kaelin
I'm gonna know a show. I don't know a show called Happiness, but if there is one, then. So I'm gonna. So let's. We're gonna have the judges look into that one. We'll see if you get that point. Question number five. The fresh food.
Devin Tory Bryant
Fresh, spoiled. Opposite is spoiled.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah.
Devin Tory Bryant
Or bad.
Scotty Eisenogle
Or bad.
Elliot Kaelin
Think of fresh food as one phrase that you'd find the opposite of.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, fresh food. Oh, I see.
Devin Tory Bryant
Fresh food.
Scotty Eisenogle
Leftovers.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, the leftovers. Very good.
Devin Tory Bryant
Well done, Sean. Well done.
Elliot Kaelin
Question number six.
Unknown
Or.
Elliot Kaelin
And.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, yeah. Andor.
Elliot Kaelin
Yep. Andor. You got it. It's both an opposite and reversal.
Scotty Eisenogle
Well, we love that show.
Devin Tory Bryant
We love that show.
Elliot Kaelin
That's one of the top Star wars spy shows on television.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah.
Elliot Kaelin
Name a better one. Question number seven. Live metal.
Devin Tory Bryant
Live metal. Dead.
Scotty Eisenogle
A metal. What's the opposite of metal?
Devin Tory Bryant
Oh, Deadwood.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, Deadwood.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes. Dewood. Very good. Live metal is dead wood. Number eight. You will preserve me.
Devin Tory Bryant
Oh, God.
Elliot Kaelin
What is the opposite of you will preserve me in prestige TV terms means I won't something.
Scotty Eisenogle
You.
Devin Tory Bryant
You will preserve me. Then it would be you. Me?
Scotty Eisenogle
I don't know any TV show that starts with I. I literally got.
Devin Tory Bryant
I not kill you.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yeah, perfect.
Elliot Kaelin
To her. You're getting closer. I'll tell you the answer. To this one. It's called I may destroy you. To show a couple years ago I.
Scotty Eisenogle
Made sure I never heard of it.
Devin Tory Bryant
Oh, I haven't seen that.
Elliot Kaelin
If you had, it would be much sadder if you didn't get it. But see. Yeah, that's okay. Number nine, the imbalancer.
Devin Tory Bryant
The equalizer.
Elliot Kaelin
Equalizer. Yes. And number ten, daughters of Stability.
Devin Tory Bryant
Oh, Sons of Anarchy.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, Sons of Anarchy. Very good. Excellent work, you guys. That's 8 out of 10 Bizarro TV guide answers that you got right. Of course, there's one thing that's the same in both the bizarre land and our own. Every game ends in a mega clue.
Unknown
Mega clue question.
Elliot Kaelin
To solve today's mega clue, you're going to take the first letters of each of our title's main words in order to spell one last bizarro TV title and then you'll tell me what it is. If you need a reminder, I can give you those letters if you would like, please. Yes, those letters are S, A, N as in nip, E, L, A, D, I, E, S. Put those letters together as they in that order and then tell me what is the real world opposite of that bizarro title?
Scotty Eisenogle
San Aladies.
Devin Tory Bryant
Sane Ladies.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, Sane ladies.
Devin Tory Bryant
So it would be men.
Scotty Eisenogle
Mad Men.
Elliot Kaelin
Yes, Mad Men.
Devin Tory Bryant
Mad Men.
Scotty Eisenogle
Yes.
Elliot Kaelin
The opposite of Sane Ladies. Very good. That was our megaclue. So 8 out of 10. Fantastic work. That was great. And you got the mega clue.
Scotty Eisenogle
Better than any score I ever got in college. Go ahead.
Elliot Kaelin
Listeners at home, did you do as well as Sean and Scotty? Not in college, I mean, but just did you do as well in this game? If so, your check is in the mail. Not money, just a person from the Czech Republic. And while you're waiting for them to arrive, why not try your mind on this episode's cliffhanger puzzle? The cliffhanger puzzle is the puzzle of the future today. And today's is another calendar based riddle that goes, since Valentine's Day was on a Friday this year, which of these dates can't fall on a weekend? March 1, April 31, May 17 or May 18? And I'll say that again, since Valentine's Day was on a Friday this year, which of these dates can't fall on a weekend? March 1, April 31, May 17 or May 18.
Scotty Eisenogle
Got it.
Elliot Kaelin
Consult your calendars. You got time to do it because we won't find out the answer till the next episode.
Scotty Eisenogle
That sounds hard.
Elliot Kaelin
This is a hard one. Yeah, it's very hard. Well, it's a cliffhanger you know, you got extra days, you got extra time.
Scotty Eisenogle
I have to look up what Valentine's Day is, what that means.
Elliot Kaelin
Yeah. Oh, the feast of St. Valentine. You're gonna like it. You're gonna like it. It's one of the better of the Christian martyr feasts.
Scotty Eisenogle
Oh, I'll read it. I'll read it in bed.
Elliot Kaelin
Yeah, that's perfect, right? Yeah. Well, time flies when you're having fun and flies time when they hold little miniature stopwatches at insect track meets. While you're figuring that one out, it's time for us to leave. But first, I'd like to thank Scotty Eisenachal for exemplifying amazing positivity with his can do spirit. I'd like to congratulate Sean Hayes on discovering a new level of negativity with his can't don't spirit. Very, very exciting, very innovative. But most of all, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate you listeners for never giving us the cold shoulder. Your shoulders remain as comfortingly warm as the day we met, and I really appreciate that you've been listening to Smartless presents Clueless. Unless you stopped paying attention 10 minutes ago, in which case this is Elliot Kaelin saying, hey, wake up. You missed the show. Clueless.
Sean Hayes
You have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes with those blue, blue eyes. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Kevin Lehman, Josh Richmond and myself. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Pinkman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.
Elliot Kaelin
Thank you to our partner Monopoly for supporting today's episode. Just like Clueless is a shorter, faster show from Smartless Media. Monopoly is introducing three new expansion packs that you add on to classic Monopoly for fresh twists, faster gameplay and a modern take on the game you love. I'm talking about Monopoly. Look out for the all new buy everything, go to jail or free parking jackpot expansions to spice up your next game night, pick your expansion and level up your game. Available now on Amazon. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro Smart.
Sean Hayes
Less medium.
Unknown
This episode is sponsored by E Trade from Morgan Stanley. Dive into the market with E Trade's easy to use tools and now there's even more to love. Get access to expert insights from Morgan Stanley to help navigate the markets. Open an account and get up to $1,000 or more with a qualifying deposit. Learn more@etrade.com terms and other fees apply. Investing involves Risks Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC Member SIPIC etrade is a business of Morgan Stanley.
Podcast Summary: SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 141: Bizarro TV Guide (w/ Scotty Icenogle)
Release Date: April 3, 2025
Host: Elliott Kaelin
Contestant: Sean Hayes
Guest: Scotty Icenogle
In Episode 141 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kaelin welcomes renowned guest Scotty Icenogle to guide listeners through a series of engaging puzzles and brainteasers. The episode, titled "Bizarro TV Guide," blends intellectual challenges with entertaining banter, showcasing the dynamic chemistry between Elliott, Scotty, and contestant Sean Hayes.
Timestamp: 01:02 – 04:05
The episode kicks off with Elliott revisiting a previously introduced cliffhanger puzzle. Participants are tasked with identifying which word from a given list fits a common category shared by other provided words. The initial list includes:
The choices for the additional word are:
Discussion Highlights:
Scotty Icenogle (02:21): Explores various attributes of the words, initially considering physical characteristics like growth and shape.
Devin Tory Bryant (02:25): Suggests that the commonality might be their roundness.
Elliott Kaelin (03:11): Encourages the contestants, confirming they are on the right track.
Scotty Icenogle (03:18): Analyzes the vowel composition of the words, identifying that all provided words contain all five vowels (A, E, I, O, U).
Conclusion:
The correct answer is "Automobile" (03:45), as it's the only word among the choices that contains all five vowels, aligning with the established category.
Notable Quote:
“We do not consider why a vowel on clueless. We never will.” – Elliott Kaelin [03:46]
Timestamp: 06:58 – 12:19
The main segment of the episode introduces the "Bizarro TV Guide" game, a twist on traditional TV show titles set in the fictional "Bizarro Land," where everything is the opposite of the real world.
Game Mechanics:
Participants receive Bizarro versions of acclaimed TV show titles and must deduce their real-world counterparts. For example:
Questions and Answers:
Bizarro: The Bases
Real: The Sopranos
Scored Correct: 8/10
Bizarro: The Canadians
Real: The Americans
Bizarro: Chug, Loosen, Tuck, Nip, Tuck
Real: Nip/Tuck
Bizarro: Depression
Real: Euphoria
Bizarro: The Fresh Food
Real: The Leftovers
Bizarro: Or
Real: Andor
Bizarro: Live Metal
Real: Deadwood
Bizarro: You Will Preserve Me
Real: I May Destroy You
Bizarro: The Imbalancer
Real: The Equalizer
Bizarro: Daughters of Stability
Real: Sons of Anarchy
Mega Clue Challenge:
Participants are provided with the first letters of each correct Bizarro title's main words: S, A, N, E, L, A, D, I, E, S. They must unscramble these letters to uncover one final Bizarro TV title and identify its real-world counterpart.
Notable Quote:
“Every game ends in a mega clue.” – Elliott Kaelin [11:32]
Cliffhanger Puzzle:
Elliott presents a calendar-based riddle:
"Since Valentine's Day was on a Friday this year, which of these dates can't fall on a weekend? March 1, April 31, May 17, or May 18?"
Listeners are encouraged to solve this puzzle and await the answer in the next episode.
Notable Interaction:
“Wait, shoot. Did I just cheer for myself? Thank you.” – Scotty Icenogle [00:35]
Towards the end of the episode, Elliott and the team acknowledge the hard work behind the scenes, crediting producers, writers, and technical staff. This segment reinforces the collaborative effort that makes each episode engaging and seamless.
Notable Quote:
“Very, very exciting, very innovative.” – Elliott Kaelin [14:33]
Elliott wraps up the episode by praising Scotty Icenogle for his positivity and humorously contrasts it with Sean Hayes' "negativity." He thanks the listeners for their continued support and invites them to engage with the next puzzle in future episodes.
Notable Quote:
“I really appreciate that you've been listening to Smartless presents Clueless.” – Elliott Kaelin [14:33]
Engaging Format: The episode skillfully balances challenging puzzles with lighthearted interactions, making it both intellectually stimulating and entertaining.
Collaborative Chemistry: The dynamic between Elliott, Scotty, and Sean enhances the listening experience, fostering a sense of camaraderie and fun.
Interactive Challenges: By incorporating interactive segments like the Bizarro TV Guide and the cliffhanger puzzle, the podcast encourages active listener participation and engagement.
Creative Content: The innovative approach to reimagining TV show titles in a Bizarro context showcases the show's creativity and ability to keep content fresh.
SmartLess Presents ClueLess continues to deliver bite-sized intellectual entertainment, perfect for listeners seeking a quick yet enriching podcast experience. Episode 141 stands as a testament to the show's ability to blend puzzles, humor, and engaging discussions seamlessly.