SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 154: "Monkey In The Middle" (May 19, 2025)
Hosts and Guests
- Host: Elliott Kalan, Emmy-winning writer
- Contestants: Sean Hayes and Scotty Eisenogle
1. Welcome and Introduction
Elliott Kalan kicks off the episode with his characteristic humor, immediately setting a playful tone. He introduces the dynamic duo:
- Elliott (00:50): "Please welcome the man who's in line for the presidency, but he got in that line because he thought it was for Space Mountain, Sean Hayes."
- Sean Hayes (01:10): Enthusiastically asks for votes, “Yes, please vote for me...”
Joining Sean is Scotty Eisenogle, who adds a warm presence to the conversation:
- Sean Hayes (01:22): “I also love and adore Scotty because I have to. 18 years married.”
- Scotty Eisenogle (01:39): Responds thoughtfully, “I'm doing well. Thank you for sharing, folks, about our obligation to each other.”
2. Discussion on Marriage and Commitments
Elliott delves into a heartfelt discussion about marriage, highlighting its transition from a promise to a contractual commitment:
- Elliott (01:47): “There's a certain point when a marriage starts as a promise and then eventually becomes a contractual commitment...”
Sean humorously touches on the practical aspects of their marriage:
- Sean (01:56): “There are contracts on the kitchen table, and every morning we have to do an ink thumbprint. Wow. That we're sticking around.”
3. The Sequence Puzzle: Adverb, Cramped, Elf…
Elliott presents a puzzle to Sean and Scotty, challenging them to identify the next word in a specific sequence:
- Elliott (02:35): “What's a word that could go next in this sequence? Adverb? Cramped. Elf. And what now?”
The contestants brainstorm, attempting to uncover the pattern:
- Sean (04:18): “What starts with a G and ends with an H?”
- Scotty (04:22): “Gong.”
Elliott reveals the underlying pattern:
- Elliott (04:33): “The key to the puzzle is that the words’ letters start and end in alphabetical order. So adverb starts with an A, ends with B; cramped starts with C, ends with D…”
Sean proposes “ganache,” though Elliott notes it technically ends with an E:
- Elliott (04:55): “Any word that starts with a G and ends with an H, like girth, glitch, gnash, gush... But I like the panache of ganache.”
4. Main Game: "Monkey In The Middle"
Elliott introduces the main game segment, “Monkey In The Middle,” a competitive round where Sean and Scotty compete to replace the word “monkey” in given phrases:
- Elliott (08:03): “I'm going to give you two words separated by the word monkey. Your job is to tell me the correct word that replaces monkey and completes two common phrases.”
Game Play:
- Example Round:
- Elliott (09:12): “Cookie monkey mash.”
- Sean (09:12): “Monster.”
- Elliott (09:14): “Monster Mash. Yes, exactly.”
Notable Moments:
-
Parking Monkey Invaders:
- Scotty (09:35): “Space.”
- Elliott (09:36): “Space Invaders.”
-
Over the Monkey Connection Count:
- Sean (09:45): “Over the top. Rainbow.”
- Elliott (09:48): “Rainbow Connection.”
-
Tooth Monkey Tail:
- Sean (10:08): “Fairy.”
- Elliott (10:09): “Tooth Fairy. Fairy Tale.”
-
Fish Monkey Top:
- Scotty (10:22): “Tank.”
- Elliott (10:23): “Tank Top.”
-
Peanut Monkey Knife:
- Sean (10:38): “Butter.”
- Elliott (10:49): “Peanut Butter. Butter Knife.”
-
Music Monkey Game Video:
- Sean (10:57): “Video.”
- Elliott (11:00): “Video Game.”
-
Sweet Monkey Chip:
- Sean (11:14): “Potato.”
- Elliott (11:14): “Sweet Potato. Potato Chip.”
-
Grapefruit Monkey Box:
- Sean (11:22): “Juice.”
- Elliott (11:25): “Grapefruit Juice. Juice Box.”
-
Paper Monkey Mix:
- Scotty (11:42): “Trail.”
- Elliott (11:45): “Paper Trail. Trail Mix.”
-
Monkey in the Works:
- Sean (12:04): “Wrench.”
- Elliott (12:06): “Monkey Wrench. Wrench in the Works.”
Score Update:
- Elliott (12:13): “Sean with 4 points and Scotty with 6 points.”
5. Mega Clue Puzzle
As the competition heats up, Elliott introduces the “Mega Clue”:
- Elliott (12:42): “Today's mega clue takes the form of a sentence containing three monkeys. They are all the same word. Whoever can tell me what one word can replace all the monkeys in this sentence will win three points.”
Mega Clue Sentence: “I wanted a cook monkey, but there were none at the monkey store, so I'll have to monkey mark it for another day.”
- Sean (13:21): “Book.”
- Elliott (13:22): “Correct! Cookbook, bookstore, bookmark.”
Sean secures the win with the correct answer, finalizing the game with:
- Elliott (13:34): “Sean slapped Scotty back down and took the game.”
6. Cliffhanger Puzzle: "Gizmo's Piggy Bank"
Elliott leaves listeners with a challenging cliffhanger puzzle:
- Elliott (13:43): “Today's cliffhanger is called Gizmo's Piggy Bank... There are 21 coins in the bank. How old is Gizmo?”
The puzzle references the movie Gremlins, prompting listeners to engage with some math:
- Elliott (15:00): “How old is Gizmo? Save it for next time.”
7. Closing Remarks
Elliott wraps up the episode with his signature blend of humor and warmth:
- Elliott (15:14): “It leaves behind its beloved special guest, Scotty Eisenogle... And share our condolences with Sean Hayes, who finally put to rest his long-running feud with the episode.”
He encourages listeners to rate the podcast:
- Elliott (15:24): “Leave a five-star rating on the listening app of your choice.”
Notable Quotes:
- Elliott on Marriage (01:47): “There's a certain point when a marriage starts as a promise and then eventually becomes a contractual commitment.”
- Scotty on Commitment (01:39): “I'm doing well. Thank you for sharing, folks, about our obligation to each other.”
- Sean on Game Strategy (09:48): “Talk about connection. Mine must be slow because I'm pretty sure I got that fast.”
- Elliott on the Mega Clue (12:46): “Whoever can tell me what one word can replace all the monkeys in this sentence will win the number of points required to win the game.”
Conclusion
Episode 154 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess seamlessly blends humor, intellect, and playful competition. Elliott Kalan masterfully guides listeners through engaging puzzles and witty banter between Sean Hayes and Scotty Eisenogle. The episode not only entertains but also challenges the intellect, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the solution to the cliffhanger puzzle in the next installment.