157 - Bizarro Movie Guide (w/ Jeff Max)

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess - Episode 157: Bizarro Movie Guide (w/ Jeff Max)
Release Date: May 29, 2025

In Episode 157 of "SmartLess Presents ClueLess," hosted by Emmy-winning writer Elliott Kalan, listeners are treated to a delightful blend of puzzles, humor, and engaging conversation. This episode features guest Jeff Max and returning contestant Sean Hayes as they dive into the whimsical world of Bizarro Land’s movie titles, challenging each other's wit and knowledge.

---

Recap of Last Episode's Cliffhanger Puzzle

The episode begins with a playful reference to the previous episode’s cliffhanger puzzle. Elliott Kalan revisits the "samesies" puzzle, where seemingly unrelated phrases like "pack maul," "rug pack," and "mall rug" share the common element "rat."

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Hayes [02:01]: "What secret thing makes these seemingly unrelated things samesies?"
• Jeff Max [02:35]: "I believe it's rat."
• Sean Hayes [02:43]: "Rats."

Jeff Max triumphantly solves the puzzle, prompting cheers and laughter from the hosts and listeners alike.

---

Guest Introduction: Jeff Max

Elliott warmly welcomes Jeff Max to the show, highlighting his dual talents as a professional puzzle solver and an award-winning actor. Jeff’s easygoing demeanor and sharp mind set the stage for an entertaining episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Jeff Max [01:17]: "And I can't believe I'm not better, but anyway."
• Sean Hayes [01:21]: "You're great. Thank you. It's so nice to be here."

---

Main Event: Bizarro Movie Guide

The heart of the episode is the "Bizarro Movie Guide Comedy Movie Edition," a game where participants must match Bizarro Land's twisted movie titles to their real-world counterparts. Sean Hayes introduces the game, explaining the concept of Bizarro Land as a universe where everything is the opposite.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Hayes [06:37]: "We have a TV guide from Bizarro Land where everything is the opposite of our world."
• Elliott Kalan [07:15]: "Illegally Brunette" vs. "Legally Blonde."

---

Round-by-Round Breakdown

1. Kinda Good [07:40]

   • Jeff Max [07:42]: "Decent. It's like decent. It's like very bad."
   • Correct Answer: "Superbad" [08:03]
   • Sean Hayes [08:14]: "The answer is super bad."

2. Grooms, Butlers, Bridesmaids [08:40]

   • Jeff Max [08:42]: "Mrs. Doubtfire."
   • Correct Answer: "Mrs. Doubtfire"

3. Buoy Woman [08:59]

   • Jeff Max [09:02]: "Anchorman."
   • Correct Answer: "Anchorman"

4. Lowering Montana [09:29]

   • Jeff Max [09:31]: "Raising Arizona."
   • Correct Answer: "Raising Arizona"

5. Out and In [09:40]

   • Jeff Max [09:49]: "In and Out."
   • Correct Answer: "In and Out"

6. The Dressed Knife [09:52]

   • Jeff Max [09:53]: "The Naked Gun."
   • Correct Answer: "The Naked Gun"

7. Flippant, Calmed, Intelligent [10:20]

   • Jeff Max [11:09]: "Stupid."
   • Sean Hayes [11:45]: "Ernest Scared Stupid."
   • Correct Answer: "Ernest Scared Stupid"

Throughout the game, the hosts engage in witty banter, celebrating each correct answer and playfully teasing each other over the tougher puzzles.

Notable Interaction:

• Sean Hayes [08:15]: "You don't wanna actually get your kid a kinda man figure when they want a Superman figure."

---

Mega Clue Challenge

After successfully identifying seven out of nine movie titles, Sean introduces the Mega Clue challenge. Participants must use the first letter of each answer to form a new Bizarro Land comedy movie title and then determine its real-world counterpart.

Answers:

1. Superbad - S
2. Bridesmaids - B
3. Mrs. Doubtfire - M
4. Anchorman - A
5. Raising Arizona - R
6. In and Out - I
7. Naked Gun - N
8. Ernest Scared Stupid - E

Combined Letters: S, B, M, A, R, I, N, E
Formed Title: "Submarine"

Jeff Max's Solution [13:35]: "Airplane."
Correct Real-World Counterpart: "Airplane."

Notable Quotes:

• Jeff Max [13:35]: "Airplane."
• Sean Hayes [13:45]: "Good, Sean."

This clever twist not only tests their puzzle-solving skills but also adds a layer of metagaming to the episode.

---

Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the episode nears its end, Elliott presents the listeners with a tantalizing cliffhanger puzzle:

"Use me every time you take a step, but I'm also a creature with no feet. I sound like the spirit that animates us all, but I'm also the one and only. What am I?" [12:06]

Listeners are left pondering this riddle, eager for its resolution in the next episode.

Notable Quote:

• Sean Hayes [12:20]: "We’ll find out what I am in our next episode of Clueless."

---

Conclusion

The episode concludes with light-hearted farewells and humorous remarks about the "puzzle train" journey, underscoring the camaraderie among the hosts and guests.

Notable Quotes:

• Elliott Kalan [14:20]: "Because if you don't go along with that the joke doesn't work until our next journey."
• Sean Hayes [15:37]: "This isn't my stop. I got off too early."
• Jeff Max [15:44]: "Bring the train back."

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 157 of "SmartLess Presents ClueLess" offers a vibrant mix of challenging puzzles and engaging dialogue. Jeff Max's participation brings fresh energy, while Sean Hayes' quick wit adds to the episode's charm. The "Bizarro Movie Guide" game not only entertains but also stimulates listeners' cognitive faculties, making this episode a must-listen for puzzle enthusiasts and comedy lovers alike.

Listeners are encouraged to subscribe, follow, and stay tuned for the next episode, where the mystery of the cliffhanger puzzle awaits resolution.

Transcript

[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Sean Hayes]

Smart Less medium. Before we start the show, I should let you know your doctor called. It sounded important, but I wasn't really listening closely. Something about you only having 24 hours left to something. I'm sure I'll remember it tomorrow. This is Clueless. Clueless. Clueless.

[Jeff Max]

Jeff's Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clueless.

[Jeff Max]

Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

The Clueless duet singers. Welcome to Smartless presents. Clueless, the only puzzle podcast that counts towards your ged. I'm your host, Ellie Kaelin. And I can't believe I'm not butter. Now please welcome the professional puzzle solver who has a side hustle as an award winning actor, Sean Hayes.

[Jeff Max]

And I can't believe I'm not better, but anyway.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, you're great, Sean.

[Jeff Max]

You're great. Thank you. It's so nice to be here. So good to see you, Elliot. And even better to see my friend Jeff Max, who's joining us today.

[Sean Hayes]

Hello.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Hello.

[Jeff Max]

And Jeff Max, who I love, who's here today on a very early Sunday morning. He's sparkling like normal Don's crack Dongs crack.

[Sean Hayes]

Now, before we get to our game today, I've got a little surprise waiting for you backstage. Sean, do you recognize this voice? Hi, Sean. I was last episode's cliffhanger puzzle and I can't wait for you to solve me.

[Jeff Max]

It sounds familiar, but I think it's the cliffhanger's voice.

[Sean Hayes]

You're exactly right. Cliffhanger coming out here. Oh, that's wonderful. That's right, it's last episode's cliffhanger puzzle. Listeners, you may remember our last cliffhanger puzzle was a samesies which went thusly. What secret thing makes these seemingly unrelated things samesies? And those things are pack maul and rug pack mall rug. What makes them samesies?

[Jeff Max]

I've got it. You do? How do you got it already? I do. I've got it. What is it? I believe it's rat.

[Sean Hayes]

Elliot, you're exactly right.

[Jeff Max]

Oh my God.

[Sean Hayes]

Rats.

[Jeff Max]

I was rat pack, mall rat, rugrat.

[Sean Hayes]

Either rat pack or pack rat? Either ones. Yeah, they're all different kinds of America's favorite animals. Rats.

[Jeff Max]

Jenny.

[Sean Hayes]

Exactly right.

[Jeff Max]

Do you wanna know what my answer was? I was like is it has to do with surface area? Does it have to? I was like what?

[Sean Hayes]

They all cover things like a mall covers.

[Jeff Max]

Wait, I didn't know it was like a plaza. I didn't know it was like a word thing. Okay. Anyway, congratulations, Jeff. Thank you. Thank you very much.

[Sean Hayes]

Jeff who? Jeff who talked a big game about it being very early on a Sunday is ready to go on fire. On fire.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah. And fuego.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Firehouse Subs have teamed up with Hot Ones to bring bold garlicky flavor to Firehouse Subs iconic Hook and ladder sub. Introducing the Zesty Garlic Hook and Ladder loaded with crispy garlic chips, marinated onions and Hot ones. Garlic Fresno sauce piled high with signature hook and ladder Smoked turkey and honey ham on a freshly toasted sub roll. Try the new Zesty Garlic Hook and Ladder today only for a limited time at Firehouse Subs at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants.

[Sean Hayes]

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[Devin Tory Bryant]

Bizarro Movie Guide.

[Sean Hayes]

What's on now?

[Jeff Max]

Oh, my God. I don't remember this game.

[Sean Hayes]

So we have a TV guide from Bizarro Land where everything is the opposite of our world.

[Jeff Max]

Okay, got it. Got it.

[Sean Hayes]

Here are the weekly movie options on their streaming service Mine, which is the Bizarre Land version of Max. You know, Max is big. Here are nine titles of popular comedy movies from Bizarre Land, each of which is the inverse or opposite of a comedy movie title from our universe. Can you figure out each show's real world counterpart? For example, this is just an example. In Bizarro Land, there's a movie called Illegally Brunette. Our World. Yes. Legally Blonde. Thank you. Okay, so it sounds like you're ready to play the game. Yes, it sounds like this game. You didn't remember. You're already a master of now.

[Jeff Max]

I do.

[Sean Hayes]

So question number one. The first title is Kinda Good. Kinda Good. One word.

[Jeff Max]

It's one word.

[Sean Hayes]

One word.

[Jeff Max]

Decent. It's like decent. It's like very bad. Something that's bad. That's kind of bad. That's greatly bad.

[Sean Hayes]

You're very close. You're very close. And it's a comedy movie from about 15, 20 bad.

[Jeff Max]

What's a comedy Good that has bad in it. Oh, God, I have no idea.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, this is the hardest one, I think of all the. Actually, this is the second hardest one. The answer is super bad. Kinda good. That's a tough one. Kinda and super. They're not immediate opposites, but they're opposites. Trust me.

[Jeff Max]

Okay.

[Sean Hayes]

You don't wanna actually get your kid a kinda man figure when they want a Superman figure.

[Jeff Max]

That's right. No, no.

[Sean Hayes]

This next one, I think you're gonna have a better chance with number two down. You got it. That's it. Number three. Grooms, butlers, bridesmaids. Very good. Bridesmaids. Number four, Mr. Certain Water.

[Jeff Max]

Mrs. Doubt. Mrs. Doubt.

[Sean Hayes]

Very good. So, Jeff, did you. That sounds like an insincere. I've also got the answer.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Not to judge you or anything, but. But.

[Jeff Max]

But I think he dirted himself on that one.

[Sean Hayes]

Number five. Buoy. Woman.

[Jeff Max]

Buoy. Like in. Like a buoy?

[Sean Hayes]

Yes, like a. Like a marine equipment.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah. Buoy woman. What's buoy?

[Sean Hayes]

Buoy is like opposite of a buoy.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah, a buoy buoy floats in the water. Yeah. So anchorman. Anchorman.

[Sean Hayes]

Yes, anchorman. Very good. Good. Buoys float on the water. Anchors, they don't float. Don't try it. It's not going to work. Number six. Lowering Montana.

[Jeff Max]

Raising Arizona.

[Sean Hayes]

Very good. I was worried you wouldn't get that. The opposite of Arizona is Montana.

[Jeff Max]

It's classically the opposite.

[Sean Hayes]

Number seven. Out and in.

[Jeff Max]

In and out. In and out. That was good.

[Sean Hayes]

Number eight. The Dressed Knife.

[Jeff Max]

The Naked Gun.

[Sean Hayes]

Yes, very good. Naked gun. And you very understood. I was worried about this, that you would look for the opposite of the. And I'm glad that it was clear that the was not one of the words you need to worry about. And number nine, this is the final title of this game. Flippant, Calmed, Intelligent. So this is a tough one. Flippant, calmed, intelligent. So you might want to take those words one at a time. Intelligent.

[Jeff Max]

So dumb. Dumber. Right. I know. That's what I was thinking. Wait, wait. Flippant is something that is just so. You're flipping, you know? So the opposite is like something with conviction or something, you know, like calmed. Opposite of calmed, Sean, is. Why are you asking me? Is the. Cause we're playing together. Wait. Calmed is. You're calmed. You're more. You're hypered. You're like hysteric. Yeah, but I bet you it's an ed. I bet you it's past tense. So it's like. Because it calmed. Yeah. So it's not calmed. You're Heightened or like. But what's the title? With dumb. I'm Dumb and Dumber. But it's.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm going to tell you. Maybe this is crossing the line. I don't know that with stupid you're on the right track.

[Jeff Max]

Okay, Stupid.

[Sean Hayes]

This is one of those ones where I wouldn't be surprised if when the answer comes out you say, I don't know what that movie is, but it's possible that you do know what it is.

[Jeff Max]

Crazy Love. Stupid. What is that? Crazy Stupid Love.

[Sean Hayes]

Think about what's the opposite of flippant. When you're flippant, you're like. It's kind of like you don't mean what you're saying.

[Jeff Max]

Flippant. You don't care.

[Sean Hayes]

There's something. This is also a big hint. I'm going to say there's something that there's the importance of being. That is the opposite. Flippant.

[Jeff Max]

Oh, Earnest Something Stupid. Dumb Earnest Something Stupid. I have no idea.

[Sean Hayes]

Would you like me to just tell you the answer?

[Jeff Max]

Yes, please.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay. The answer is Ernest Scared Stupid.

[Jeff Max]

This is the, ah, the super popular Ernest Scared Stupid. Everybody knows.

[Sean Hayes]

The final of the last from the Earnest series. Yes. With Jim Varney. This is a movie that I saw in the theaters as a child, but I think I might have been the only one as a child.

[Jeff Max]

I think so.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm here on my earpiece that our producer Devin also saw it in the theaters as a child, which is how it ends up in a game like this.

[Jeff Max]

I'm betting that you had real good seats.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. Pick of the room. Yeah, we moved around a little bit just to see what it was like from different angles.

[Jeff Max]

Sure, from each angle. That was hard.

[Sean Hayes]

That's a tough one. But you are doing great so far. Seven out of nine. That's fantastic. Seven of Nine. Not just a Star Trek character, but also your score on this game so far. Of course, not everything in Bizarro Land is different from our world. There is one multiversal constant that remains the same throughout the cosmos. No matter what world you're on. Every game ends in a Mega Clue. Mega Clue question. For today's Mega Clue question, you're going to take the first letter of each answer and put them together to make a final Bizarro Land comedy movie. And then you're going to tell me its real world counterpart. So if you'd like, I'll remind you of what those titles are so you can write them down. The answers are Superbad up, bridesmaids, Mrs. Doubtfire, anchorman, raising Arizona in n out. Naked Gun and Earnest scared stupid. What movie, what bizarre movie does that spell out?

[Jeff Max]

Well, it's submarines.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Do we give.

[Sean Hayes]

And what would be the. What's the.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah, with the bizarro title would be.

[Sean Hayes]

That's the bizarro title. So what's the.

[Jeff Max]

What's the real title? What's this? Submarine. I mean, doc Boot, you know, Remember it's opposite.

[Sean Hayes]

Opposite.

[Jeff Max]

Yeah. Float. Titanic. Titanic, yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

This is looking for a comedy movie. Looking for a comedy movie. Titanic moments when paintmans that won't get off that table even though there's room for both of them. Clearly. Uh oh.

[Jeff Max]

Airplane. Airplane.

[Sean Hayes]

Yes, Jeff. Airplane. Airplane.

[Jeff Max]

Sean. Good, Sean.

[Sean Hayes]

Good, Sean.

[Jeff Max]

I'd average that.

[Sean Hayes]

Airplane. Good, Sean. Both of you, both of you had your moments in this game where you, you tried to leap onto the coattails of the winning answer. So I think that evens out listeners at home. Did you do as well as Sean and Jeff? They did great. If so, that's great. Always remember, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. And by do anything, I mean play this specific game. But only time will tell if anything also means today's cliffhanger puzzle. Ooh, here it comes. The cliffhanger puzzle is the puzzle equivalent of us giving you half of a $20 bill now and the other half when you tell us what you know about that diamond heist a few weeks back. And today's goes. Use me every time you take a step, but I'm also a creature with no feet. I sound like the spirit that animates us all, but I'm also the one and only. What am I? Ah, so this is a nice old fashioned riddle puzzle. I'll read it to you again. Yeah, you use me every time you take a step, but I'm also a creature with no feet. I sound like the spirit that animates us all, but I'm also the one and only. What am I? Well, we'll find out what I am in our next episode of Clueless. Because, folks, I've had a great time riding this episode with you, but my stop's coming up. It's about time I got off this puzzle train. Before I go, I'd like to thank Jeff Max for making this a trip I'll always remember. I'd like to thank Sean Hayes for doing things I kind of wish I could forget. But most of all, I want to thank you, the listeners, for going along with the premise that we're on a train right now. Because if you don't go along with that the joke doesn't work until our next journey. This has been Smartless presents Clueless and I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, saying this is my stop. Goodbye, everybody.

[Jeff Max]

Goodbye.

[Sean Hayes]

This isn't my stop. I got off too early.

[Jeff Max]

Bring the train back. Bring the train back.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

You have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes with those blue, blue eyes. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and myself. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer Maddie McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you.

[Sean Hayes]

Start Less Media.

[Will Arnett]

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