164 - Monkey In The Middle (w/ Carrie Aizley)

Summary

Podcast Summary: SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Episode: 164 - "Monkey In The Middle" (w/ Carrie Aizley)
Release Date: July 14, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 164 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kaelin welcomes the ever-charming Carrie Aizley alongside the season's contestant, Sean Hayes. The episode dives into a lively session of puzzles and brainteasers, centered around the theme "Monkey In The Middle." Throughout the 10-12 minute runtime, listeners are treated to witty banter, competitive gameplay, and engaging riddles that test the quick thinking of both the contestants and the audience.

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Welcome and Banter (00:47 – 02:10)

Elliott Kaelin opens the show with a playful introduction, highlighting the dynamics between herself and guest Sean Hayes. The chemistry between Elliott and Sean is evident as they exchange humorous remarks about intelligence and the ease of presenting answers.

Notable Quote:

Sean Hayes (01:19): "I'm trying to just be as smart as you, but it's not working."

Carrie Aizley makes her entrance, sparking a humorous discussion about her hair-brushing habits. The conversation underscores the lighthearted and relatable nature of the podcast.

Notable Quote:

Carrie Aizley (02:14): "Brushing is when you brush your hair and you put your bra on at the same time."

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ClueLess and Cliffhanger Reveal (02:10 – 04:45)

Elliott takes a moment to discuss her charitable work with Cliffhanger Reveal International, a nod to the podcast’s tradition of engaging puzzles. She revisits the previous episode's cliffhanger puzzle, revealing that "Alaska" is the only U.S. state name that can be typed using a single row on a standard English keyboard.

Notable Quote:

Elliott Kaelin (03:15): "The answer is Alaska. You can type out Alaska using just one row of the keyboard."

The segment is briefly interrupted by advertisements, which are seamlessly skipped to maintain the focus on content.

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Main Game: Monkey In The Middle (05:00 – 13:19)

Game Introduction (05:52 – 07:28)

Elliott introduces the main game, "Monkey In The Middle," where contestants replace the word "monkey" in given phrases to form new, meaningful expressions. The game is competitive, with points awarded for correct answers.

Notable Quote:

Elliott Kaelin (07:10): "If you are ready to monkey around with monkey in the middle, then let's go."

Gameplay and Interactions (07:28 – 13:19)

The game progresses through ten challenging clues. Here are some highlights:

1. Pumpkin Monkey of Life (07:37 – 08:27)

   • Sean Hayes (07:53): Suggests "rule of life."
   • Carrie Aizley (08:08): Corrects to "spice."
   • Elliott Kaelin (08:27): Reveals "pumpkin spice" and "spice of life."

2. Fun Monkey for Rent (08:36 – 08:41)

   • Correct Answer: "House" — forming "fun house" and "house for rent."

3. Cat Monkey Bug (08:53 – 09:21)

   • Carrie Aizley (09:08): Suggests "cat lady" and "ladybug," earning the correct response.

4. Horror Monkey Showtimes (09:28 – 09:42)

   • Correct Answer: "Film" — forming "horror film" and "film showtimes."

5. Heads Monkey Stream (09:59 – 10:13)

   • Correct Answer: "Up" — forming "heads up" and "upstream."

6. Pest Monkey Freak (10:18 – 10:23)

   • Correct Answer: "Control" — forming "control" and "control freak."

7. Upend Monkey in a Manger (10:27 – 10:38)

   • Correct Answer: "Away" — forming "upend" and "away in a manger."

8. Short Term Monkey Lane (10:42 – 10:46)

   • Correct Answer: "Memory" — forming "short term memory" and "memory lane."

9. Square Monkey Train (10:55 – 11:27)

   • Initial Attempts: Various incorrect guesses.
   • Carrie Aizley (11:05): Suggests "square peg."
   • Elliott Kaelin (11:30): Accepts "square one" and "one train," providing an alternative explanation tying it to New York City's subway system.

10. Monkey See, Monkey Do (12:00 – 13:08)

    • Correct Answer: "Do" — completing "monkey see" and "monkey do."

Throughout the game, Elliott commends the contestants for their clever answers, maintaining a spirited and entertaining atmosphere.

Notable Quote:

Carrie Aizley (10:37): "Fun house and house for rent."

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Mega Clue Challenge (13:03 – 13:19)

The episode culminates in the Mega Clue, a high-stakes puzzle worth 700 points. The challenge involves deciphering the meaning of "monkey" in three different sentences:

1. "Jesus was a monkey."
2. "Karen was a different kind of monkey."
3. "If I slam the door too hard, I'll need a monkey asap."

Carrie Aizley (13:16) triumphs by correctly identifying "monkey" as "carpenter," revealing the homophone-play on "Karen Carpenter" and the tool "carpenter" needed when slamming doors.

Notable Quote:

Carrie Aizley (13:16): "Carpenter."

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Cliffhanger Puzzle (13:19 – 14:25)

Elliott introduces the episode's cliffhanger puzzle:

"I was a contestant on that old game show, Are You Hot? The judges gave my face a four, my height a two, my chest a three. Based on these very upsetting scores, what would they rate my smile."

Contestants ponder the riddle, but the answer is reserved for the next episode, encouraging listeners to tune in again for the reveal.

Notable Quote:

Elliott Kaelin (14:25): "Based on these scores, what would they rate my smile."

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Closing Remarks (14:56 – 15:15)

Elliott wraps up the episode with gratitude towards Carrie Aizley and Sean Hayes, appreciating their participation and humor. She also thanks the listeners for their support, teasing more engaging content in future episodes.

Notable Quote:

Elliott Kaelin (15:01): "There'll be more nonsense to tolerate on the next episode of SmartLess Presents Clueless."

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Conclusion

Episode 164 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess delivers a fun and intellectually stimulating experience through its cleverly designed puzzles and vibrant interactions among the hosts and guests. "Monkey In The Middle" not only entertains but also engages listeners in a battle of wits, promising even more intriguing challenges in upcoming episodes. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the podcast, this episode showcases the perfect blend of humor, competition, and brainteasers that define ClueLess.

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Notable Final Quote:

Sean Hayes (15:15): "Smart, less Medium."

Transcript

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[Sean Hayes]

Smart. Less neon.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They say the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. And they're right. The world moves because of gravity. Not any number of drums, let alone just one of them. This is Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

Nice. I wonder how many people are going to get that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clueless. Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast where the first taste is free and so are all the other tastes. I'm your host, Ellie Kaelin, and I want to know what love is. And I. And I want you to show me. But I can ask someone else if now's not a good time. But first, please welcome the star of our show, the man who can leap tall buildings in a single bound if he's in a plane, Sean Hayes.

[Sean Hayes]

That's all I could do if I'm in a plane, but thank you, Elliot, for having me on your show. I mean, this is like. This is. I feel like you're the star.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's right.

[Sean Hayes]

Yes. I'm trying to just be as smart as you, but it's not working.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's a lot easier because I have the answers right in front of me, so it's very easy for me to look smart in this game.

[Sean Hayes]

I gotta try that. Will you send those to me?

[Elliot Kaelin]

You gotta. But I'll do that right now.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay. With us today is the ever charming, ever funny, ever beautiful, ever lovely inside and out and all around, Keri Aisley. Keri, how are you today? You brushed your hair today.

[Keri Aisley]

I actually didn't.

[Sean Hayes]

But you didn't brush your hair. But it looks like it. It looks good. Wanna know something?

[Keri Aisley]

I'm gonna interrupt you. Cause it's kind of important. I never brush my hair.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Never.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay. That is important. I thought you were gonna say, do.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You even own a hairbrush or you just decide?

[Keri Aisley]

I do. I own three, but. And I actually. I just brushed my hair, so I l I just brush it when I. Right after I wash it and it's wet and that's it. Like. And then I don't brush it. I don't brush it. I don't brush it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You never brush it? You brush it Rarely. You never brush it until I wash.

[Keri Aisley]

It, which could be three days later.

[Sean Hayes]

So is brushing mean, like you take a bra to it and comb it with a bra.

[Keri Aisley]

Brushing is when you brush your hair and you put your bra on at the same time.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, wow.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Need a lot of hands for that. It's a multi hand. Yeah, yeah. Now, we have a lot of fun on this show, but I'd like to get serious for a moment and talk about some charitable work I've been doing with a fine organization. It's called Cliffhanger Reveal International. Cliffhanger Reveal has been revealing the answers to cliffhanger puzzles since 1947. And I was hoping I could show you our work in action by revealing the answer to last episode's puzzle the way we do it. Cliffhanger Reveal International. So last episode's cliffhanger went. What's the only US State's name you can type out using one line on a standard English language keyboard?

[Sean Hayes]

Carrie.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No, Cary is not the name of the state, but you can, you can do that with.

[Sean Hayes]

That's not it. Shit.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Carrie, do you have the answer?

[Keri Aisley]

I do. And it took a little thinking and looking. Sean, do you have the answer?

[Sean Hayes]

I was gonna let you say it.

[Keri Aisley]

Do you want me to say it?

[Sean Hayes]

Say it.

[Keri Aisley]

Yeah, it's Alaska.

[Sean Hayes]

That's right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly right. The answer is Alaska. You can type out Alaska using just one row of the keyboard. The other states, you gotta move all around that keybo. Just do it in one row. No, they say the name of a state can be done in just one row, but Alaska. Yes, it is. Nobody says that. Nobody's even talking about.

[Sean Hayes]

Now they do. That's going to catch on like fire.

[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Sean Hayes]

Up to.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners. Did you get the answer? If so, you've fallen into my trap. Only that infamous jewel thief, the Phantom of Versailles, would get that riddle right. And now I've caught you at last, Phantom. It's the Bastille for you. But before I lock you up for life, let's take a moment to play today's main game. Monkey in the middle. Oh, monkey in the middle. Replace the monkey. That's the riddle. Monkey in the middle.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, my God.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That is a very elaborate jingle for a game, and I love it. I don't think it should be any less elaborate. In this game, monkey in the middle, I'll give you two words separated by a little monkey. Literally the word monkey. Your job is to race to tell me the correct word that replaces monkey and complete those two phrases. Whoever does it first steals the point. So. That's right. This is a competitive game. You'll be playing against each other, not with each other. We tear people apart on clueless sometimes. For example, if I said family, monkey, house, the answer would be fun fun.

[Keri Aisley]

Family fun house. No family fun.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You know what? I would give you that? I would give you fun for that one. That's not the answer we were looking for, but family fun and fun house will give you. But the answer we'd be looking for would be tree, family tree. And Tree house. Oh. Because I know exactly what to do. Yeah.

[Keri Aisley]

Family tree and tree house.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Got it. Yes, got it. But family fun and fun house would have worked. So I'm going to ask you in the future to please stick with the answers that we have already pre selected. But.

[Sean Hayes]

Sure, sure.

[Elliot Kaelin]

But you're doing a. So if you are ready to monkey around with monkey in the middle, then let's go.

[Sean Hayes]

I love it. Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Monkey in the middle. Question number one. Pumpkin. Monkey of life.

[Sean Hayes]

Seed.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No.

[Sean Hayes]

Pumpkin.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Pumpkin.

[Sean Hayes]

Monkey.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Bread of life. Bread.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh. Of life. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.

[Keri Aisley]

Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie. Pie.

[Sean Hayes]

Something of life.

[Keri Aisley]

Pie. No.

[Sean Hayes]

Pumpkin seed. Seed of life. No. Pumpkin pie. Pie of life. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Think of. Of life. What word would go up in the front of the phrase of life or time? The first word.

[Keri Aisley]

Time.

[Sean Hayes]

Time of life. I feel like there's 800 billion things that can be of life. Something of life.

[Keri Aisley]

Gosh, I don't know.

[Sean Hayes]

Rule of life.

[Keri Aisley]

Pie of life.

[Elliot Kaelin]

All right, I'm gonna move on to the next one. The answer was spice. Pumpkin spice. Spice of life.

[Sean Hayes]

Spice of life.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, but that's a tough one. That's a tough one. People don't think about pumpkin spice anymore. It's over. Question number two. Fun. Monkey for rent.

[Sean Hayes]

For rent.

[Elliot Kaelin]

House. You got it, Carrie. Great. Fun house and house for rent.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, look at you.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Go to question three. Cat. Monkey. Bug. Bug. Cat. Monkey. Bug. What word replaces monkey for those two phrases?

[Keri Aisley]

Nip. Bug. Nip. Nip. Bug.

[Sean Hayes]

I just tried. I just thought of nip. Cat. Scratch. Scratch. Bug. Cat. Cat. June. Cat. June. Bug.

[Keri Aisley]

House.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Again. Cat.

[Sean Hayes]

Something. Bug. Lady. Cat lady. Cat lady. Ladybug.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You know what? I'll give it to you. I'll give you cat lady and Ladybug. We were looking for litter. Cat litter and cat litter. Oh, geez. Cat lady and Ladybug works great, so I'll give you that one. John, that's fantastic.

[Keri Aisley]

Sean Job.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. Question number four. Horror. Monkey showtimes.

[Sean Hayes]

Horror.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Horror. Monkey showtimes.

[Sean Hayes]

Film.

[Keri Aisley]

Horror film.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I'll give you a film for that one. Oh, Carrie, we're movies, but film works as well. Horror film. Film showtimes. Horror movie. Movie show times, you know.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Horror movie for the children here. Back in the old days when you wanted to know when a movie was on, you look up the show times in the newspaper as opposed to now, when you just turn on your TV and say, play this movie for me. Play the movie. I want question number five. Heads. Monkey. Stream. Heads.

[Keri Aisley]

Down, down. No.

[Sean Hayes]

Heads. What?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Stream heads. Monkey stream.

[Sean Hayes]

Stream heads.

[Keri Aisley]

Up.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Carry us up. Heads up and upstream. Very good.

[Sean Hayes]

Nice.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number six. Pest. Monkey freak.

[Keri Aisley]

Control.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Very good. Control.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, wow.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Control and control freak.

[Sean Hayes]

That's good.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question 7.

[Sean Hayes]

Up.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Upend. Monkey in a manger. Away. Very good. Carrie, you did shower today. You're doing. You're doing great. You're on top of this game. You did brush your hair.

[Keri Aisley]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number eight. Short term monkey lane.

[Sean Hayes]

Memory.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Very good memory.

[Keri Aisley]

There he goes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're getting a shot. Question number nine. Square monkey Train.

[Sean Hayes]

Square monkey.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Square monkey Train.

[Keri Aisley]

Train box.

[Sean Hayes]

Square away. Away. Train box.

[Keri Aisley]

No.

[Sean Hayes]

Square peg. Peg train. Square. Like a choo choo train. Not like a.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Like a choo choo train, but it's a metaphorical juju train. This is a metaphorical phrase rather than a label for an actual train.

[Keri Aisley]

Square.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Similarly, it's a metaphorical square thing, not a literal square thing.

[Keri Aisley]

Square peg square.

[Sean Hayes]

Square one. One train square.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You know what? I'm gonna give you that one. I'm gonna give you one because there is a one train in New York City in the subway. So I'm gonna say square one and one train. We were looking for meal square meal and meal train. Oh, but I'll give you for square one and one train because I've said I've used the phrase one train to take the one train to this place.

[Sean Hayes]

Meal train. Like from the 1920s. Meal train.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. Well, Meal Train. Yeah. Was the depression era radio show where people would dance for money. Dance for food, sure.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So it was Soul Train, but for meals. Question number 10. Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey it do. Do. Yes, do. That's exactly right. That should have been the most confusing one, but it was the least confusing one. So that. Those are ten monkey clues. Tallying up our scores for the moment. We haven't gotten into our Mega Clue yet. Tallying up our scores, Carrie has 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and Sean has 3. But that doesn't mean anything. For right now, we're at the Mega Clue. Mega Clue question, and the megaclue is worth 700 points. So whoever gets this just wins the game automatically. You could almost say we didn't even need to do that first game because it's time for the Mega Clue where three bad monkeys, not just one monkey, but three, have slipped into this sentence. The first one to tell me what the monkey means, it's the same word. Each part of the each monkey is the same, is our winner. And so this is the whole set of sentences. Tell me what this monkey is. Jesus was a monkey. Karen was a different kind of monkey. And if I Slam the door too hard. I'll need a monkey asap.

[Keri Aisley]

What was the middle one? Karen was.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Karen was a different kind of monkey. Jesus was a monkey. Karen was a different kind of monkey. And if I slam the door too hard, I'll need a monkey asap.

[Sean Hayes]

Wrench.

[Keri Aisley]

Oh, carpenter.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, you're right. It's carpenter.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, nice.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Karen Carpenter was a different kind of carpenter. If I slam the door too hard, I'll need a carpenter ASAP. So, Carrie, you have 706 points after that mega clue. Excellent job with that one, listeners. Did you do as well as Sean and Carrie? If not, feel free to cry. No one will judge you. This is important stuff. And once you've dried those tears, take a listen for today's cliffhanger puzzle. The cliffhanger puzzle is when we give you a riddle and you decide what the answer is until next episode when we tell you our answer, which is the right one. And this episode's cliffhanger goes thusly. I was a contestant on that old game show, Are youe Hot? The judges gave my face a four, my height a two, my chest a three. Based on these very upsetting scores, what would they rate? My smile. Again, they gave my face a 4, my height a 2, and my chest a 3. Based on these scores, what would they rate my smile. Carrie. Sean, do you have any idea what the answer might be?

[Sean Hayes]

But we can't say it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's true. You obviously know the answer, but we can't say it right now.

[Sean Hayes]

That's exactly right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Not till next episode. Now, I don't know about you, but this episode feels like it went by real fast. And there's only one answer. Make it last longer by going back to the beginning and listen to again at half speed. But before you do that, I'd like to thank Harry Aisley for being a real sweetheart, a wonderful guest. And I'd like to thank Sean Hayes for having a heart full of sweets and also wonderful kiss. And you need to cut. You just. You need to cut back, Sean. Or at least put them in your stomach like you're supposed to. Sweets shouldn't go in your heart. They should go in your stomach.

[Keri Aisley]

All right, thank you for having me. It was real fun.

[Sean Hayes]

And thank you, Carrie, for being here.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Of course. And most of all, I'd like to thank you, the listener, for tolerating our nonsense. There'll be more nonsense to tolerate on the next episode of Smartless Presents. Clueless. I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, but there's no telling who I'll be next time. You'll have to tune in to find out. Goodbye.

[Sean Hayes]

That's lovely.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes with those blue blue eyes. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Kevin Lehman. Talent producer is Anne Harris Associate Producer Matty McCann Social media producer Producer Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliott Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for More.

[Sean Hayes]

Smart, less Medium.

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