166 - The Sort ‘Em Consortium (w/ Ali Wentworth)

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess - Episode 166: The Sort ‘Em Consortium (w/ Ali Wentworth)
Release Date: July 28, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 166 of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliott Kaelin, alongside regular contestant Sean Hayes, welcomes special guest Ali Wentworth to tackle a series of engaging puzzles, brainteasers, and conundrums. The episode, titled "The Sort ‘Em Consortium," dives deep into numerical riddles and their intriguing connections, all while maintaining a lighthearted and humorous atmosphere.

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Main Puzzle: The Sort ‘Em Consortium

Elliott introduces the main game, "The Sort ‘Em Consortium," where Sean and Ali are challenged to assign unique numbers from 0 to 5 to six distinct facts. Each fact requires a numerical answer, and the guests must deduce the correct order based on their knowledge and teamwork.

Facts Presented:

1. How many of Elvis's songs earned him a Grammy Award?
2. Domestic house cats have how many stomachs?
3. How many of George Foreman's kids are named George?
4. Which number president was Alexander Hamilton?
5. In a standard chorus, how many vocal parts are there?
6. Of King Henry VIII's six wives, how many did he have beheaded?

Notable Quotes:

• Elliott Kaelin [02:25]: "Each question will have a unique number from 0 to 5. You can only use each number once, so think carefully about your answers."
• Sean Hayes [07:41]: "I used to do chorus. So that's four."
• Ali Wentworth [08:12]: "Hamilton is zero. I believe."

Solution Breakdown:

• 0: Alexander Hamilton was never a president.
• 1: Domestic house cats have one stomach.
• 2: King Henry VIII had two of his wives beheaded.
• 3: Three of Elvis's songs earned him Grammy Awards.
• 4: A standard chorus consists of four vocal parts.
• 5: George Foreman has five sons named George.

Conclusion of the Puzzle: Once the numbers were correctly assigned, Elliott unveiled the Mega Clue, revealing that each fact is connected to a Broadway musical:

• Hamilton – Hamilton
• Cats – Cats
• Henry VIII's Beheadings – Six
• Elvis's Grammys – Elvis (a jukebox musical)
• Chorus Parts – A Chorus Line
• George Foreman's Sons – Sunday in the Park with George

Elliott Kaelin [11:02]: "Great work. You got all of those exactly right."

Sean Hayes [11:02]: "But great work. Excellent job."

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Banter and Humorous Interlude

Throughout the episode, Elliott, Sean, and Ali engage in playful banter, sharing personal anecdotes and jokes that add a lively dynamic to the show.

Notable Exchanges:

• Ali Wentworth [02:09]: "Oh, I am raring to go. That's why I'm not wearing any clothes."
• Sean Hayes [08:16]: "By the way, I saw the musical and never got that."
• Elliott Kaelin [12:20]: "Is there, you know, like a jukebox musical? You know, where Elvis climbs out of a jukebox and he plays some songs, climbs back in again."

These interactions not only entertain but also foster a comfortable and engaging environment for tackling challenging puzzles.

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Cliffhanger Puzzle: Samesies

As the episode concludes, Elliott presents a Cliffhanger Puzzle to keep listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment.

Puzzle Presented: What makes the following three things samesies? A snake, a delicatessen, and a piano lesson.

Notable Quote:

• Elliott Kaelin [13:35]: "We don't want to unwrap it too early. Find out the answer on the next episode."

Ali hints at having the answer but chooses to hold off until the following episode, maintaining suspense and encouraging listener engagement.

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Closing Remarks

Elliott wraps up the episode by expressing gratitude towards Ali and Sean for their participation and humorously addressing the listener's role in the podcast's success.

Notable Quote:

• Elliott Kaelin [15:18]: "You have been shining down on Smartless Presents Clueless, and I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin."

The episode closes with light-hearted farewells, leaving listeners both satisfied with the day's puzzles and excited for future challenges.

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Key Takeaways

• Numerical Puzzles with a Twist: The episode masterfully combines numerical trivia with cultural references, creating a multifaceted puzzle-solving experience.

• Engaging Hosts and Guests: The dynamic interplay between Elliott, Sean, and Ali adds depth and entertainment, making complex puzzles accessible and enjoyable.

• Teaser for Next Episode: The Cliffhanger Puzzle ensures continued listener interest and anticipation for subsequent episodes.

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Episode Highlights:

• Comprehensive breakdown of "The Sort ‘Em Consortium" puzzle.
• Insight into the connections between numerical facts and Broadway musicals.
• Entertaining interactions and humor among hosts and guests.
• Intriguing Cliffhanger Puzzle promising more engaging content in future episodes.

Whether you're a long-time listener or new to SmartLess Presents ClueLess, Episode 166 delivers a perfect blend of challenge, entertainment, and camaraderie, making it a standout installment in the series.

Transcript

[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Ali Wentworth]

Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

Everybody's Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the only puzzle podcast that looks like a pump that feels like a sneaker. I'm not your host, Elliot Kaelin, but I am an incredible simulation. Now, please welcome the man who's actually much taller than he looks in real life, Sean Hayes. Thank you for joining us again, Sean.

[Sean Hayes]

I do get that a lot. I do get that, like, oh, I didn't know you were so tall. And like, how tall did you think I was? And people don't know what to say. It's really an incredible story for a talk show. Speaking of talk shows and people that I love to hear talk, we have Ali Wentworth today. And she looks beautiful and fun and like she's raring to go. Are you raring to go, Ally?

[Ali Wentworth]

Oh, I am raring to go. That's why I'm not wearing any clothes.

[Sean Hayes]

She's got a rear out. She's got a rear end out.

[Ali Wentworth]

Yeah, I'm smarter when I'm nudie.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. This episode is rated R for Rarin. We should make sure that everyone knows that.

[Sean Hayes]

Rarin.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Before we begin, though, with our main puzzle, I have to tell you, on October 31, 15, 17, there's a little history for you, Martin Luther nailed a piece of paper to the door of All Saints Church in Wittenberg and plunged Europe into controversy. What was on that paper? The answer to last episode's cliffhanger puzzle, which went thusly. So hopefully that Europe will not be plunged into controversy with this one. The cliffhanger puzzle went this way. I heard they're making a new movie called Three Women and an Adult Baby. The women are played by Sydney Sweeney, Keira Knightley, and Cindy Crawford. Who could play the adult baby and why?

[Sean Hayes]

Laura Linney.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Laura Linney would be a good one. That's right. Ally, do you have an answer?

[Sean Hayes]

Or Courteney Cox?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Or Courtney Cox. That's right. Ally, do you know why? Can you guess? Sean's on. Sean's on.

[Ali Wentworth]

I have no idea. All right, I'm going to say Jennifer Aniston. Am I in the running?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Not at all. Not.

[Ali Wentworth]

I got nothing. I got Sean.

[Elliot Kaelin]

What's the reason?

[Sean Hayes]

Because their first and last names begin with the same letter.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. Sydney Sweeney, Keira Knightley, Cindy Crawford. All their first and last names begin at the same letter. And so your answer is also Courtney Cox, Laura Linney. They all begin the first and last name of the same letter. Excellent work, Sean. Very fast, very good. Now, Allie, if you had said Jennifer Janiston, I might have accepted it. Not a real person, but it would have fit the answer.

[Ali Wentworth]

Yeah, Jennifer Aniston's real name is Allison Jennifer Aniston. She just calls herself Jen.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, well, I guess. I guess you've squeaked and under the wire with that one.

[Ali Wentworth]

Thank you.

[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Sean Hayes]

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners. Did you get the answer? If so, you're either very lucky or a genius, which is basically just being lucky in your brain. So let's hope that brain luck holds. In today's main game, it's called the Sordum Consortium.

[Jason Reich]

Well, it's the Sorghum Sorghum Consortium. Put them in order. Won't you take my advice?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sordum, sorghum.

[Jason Reich]

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

[Sean Hayes]

Get along there.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I was gonna say my favorite part was when they start singing the title again, but actually my favorite part is the end. That guy says, get along there. That's fantastic.

[Sean Hayes]

Get along now. Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So every episode of Clueless, pretty much, I've been making you come up with all the answers and that's gotta be exhausting. So today I'm going to give you the answers ahead of time to all the questions. I'm giving you the answers ahead of time. Those answers are 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. You might want to write them down. 0, 1, 2, 3 or 4, and 5. Those are the six different answers. Of course, you're going to need to figure out what order those answers go into. I'm going to ask you about six facts whose answers are some number between 0 and 5, and you will assign a number to each. You can only use each number once. So if a question, if the answer is five, you know that the answer is not going to be five for any of the others. So I'm going to give you each of the facts and then you will tell me what order they go in in terms of numbers. Okay?

[Sean Hayes]

Wonderful.

[Jason Reich]

Sordum, Sordum.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Your facts are, how many of Elvis's songs earned him a Grammy award? Domestic house cats have how many stomachs? How many of George Foreman's kids are named George? Which number president was Alexander Hamilton? In a standard chorus, how many vocal parts are there? And of King Henry VIII's six wives, how many did he have beheaded? So we'll order those facts again. Those facts are, how many of Elvis's songs earned him a Grammy Award? How many stomachs do domestic house cats have? How many of George Foreman's Kids are named George. Which number president was Alexander Hamilton? How many vocal parts are there in a standard chorus? And how many of King Henry VIII's six wives did he have beheaded? You'll have to order those from zero to five.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, ready? I know the chorus parts, Ally, because it's. I used to do that. And so that's four.

[Ali Wentworth]

You used to do chorus?

[Sean Hayes]

I used to do chorus. It's bass baritone, alto and soprano. I mean, there's also some second soprano and all that, blah, blah, blah. But I'm sure it's just the main one. So that's four.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, you have that one, right.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, great. And then Hamilton.

[Ali Wentworth]

Hamilton is zero. I believe.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's exactly right. Why is he zero?

[Ali Wentworth]

Because I don't think he was ever president.

[Elliot Kaelin]

He was not ever president. That's right. He was the Secretary of the treasury and never the president.

[Ali Wentworth]

Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So he would be zero. He was the zero president.

[Sean Hayes]

By the way, I saw the musical and never got that.

[Ali Wentworth]

Oh, you should have seen it twice.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They do have a song in the musical called Never Gonna Be President.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay.

[Ali Wentworth]

You know the cat's answer?

[Sean Hayes]

No. Do you. Do you have a cat? Don't you have a cat?

[Ali Wentworth]

No.

[Sean Hayes]

No. You have a dog.

[Ali Wentworth]

I have a dog named Sandy.

[Sean Hayes]

I know, but I thought. I thought you had a cat, too, for some reason. Henry viii. Something tells me five out of the six were murdered. Beheaded.

[Ali Wentworth]

Well, what do we have left?

[Sean Hayes]

We have 1, 2, 3 and 5. Cats can't have more than one stomach, can they?

[Ali Wentworth]

No, I think they have one stomach. I think that's.

[Sean Hayes]

We say one.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're right. Cats only have one stomach. I was worried you're gonna have to open one up to check. I'm so glad that you came to the answer without doing that.

[Ali Wentworth]

One stomach. I think Henry killed five.

[Sean Hayes]

That's what I think, too.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That is not correct. No, two.

[Ali Wentworth]

I'm sorry, two or three.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I'll let you settle on one answ, then we'll see.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, it would be wild to have George Foreman's kids. Like, five of them named George. Right. Wouldn't that be wild?

[Ali Wentworth]

Oh, God.

[Sean Hayes]

Because Elvis. Because the fact that Elvis songs. How many of them won Grammys? The fact that he's asking makes me think it's a low number. Because you would think that it's really high. So let's say two for Elvis.

[Ali Wentworth]

I think Henry VIII is three.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay.

[Ali Wentworth]

Cause I know it's what?

[Sean Hayes]

Pause. Elliot's pausing.

[Ali Wentworth]

I know. I don't like it.

[Sean Hayes]

So it's not five. So it's Two. So Henry killed two.

[Ali Wentworth]

Two.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're right. Henry had two beheaded. That's right.

[Ali Wentworth]

Anne Boleyn and some other person that couldn't give him a son.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And Jan Boleyn and sister. Yeah.

[Ali Wentworth]

So I think that.

[Sean Hayes]

I think it's George.

[Ali Wentworth]

George Foreman is five.

[Sean Hayes]

That's five.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, that's exactly right. George Foreman has five sons named George. What is wrong with his five kids? He may have a daughter named George.

[Ali Wentworth]

And three Elvis songs. Okay.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's right. And three Elvis songs earned him a Grammy. Excellent job to put that in order. Then. Hamilton was the zeroth president. Cats have one stomach. King Henry VIII beheaded two of his wives. Elvis won Grammys for three songs. There are four vocal parts in a standard chorus. And five of George Foreman's children are named George. Right.

[Sean Hayes]

Mark.

[Ali Wentworth]

That's crazy. That is crazy.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Someone needs to buy him a book of baby names.

[Sean Hayes]

Or a grill.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Something tells me he's got grills.

[Sean Hayes]

But clearly he only has boys. He doesn't have any grills.

[Jason Reich]

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

[Elliot Kaelin]

But great work. Excellent job. You got all of those exactly right. Guess what? In keeping with my generous free answer policy, I've already given you all the information that you need to figure out today's megaclue Mega clue question. That's right. What hidden feature connects each of these facts? Let me know if you want me to repeat those facts to you.

[Sean Hayes]

Yes, please.

[Ali Wentworth]

Yes.

[Sean Hayes]

You mean Grammys and cats and all that?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Well, which number President was Alexander Hamilton? Domestic house cats have how many stomachs of King Henry VIII's six wives? How many did he have beheaded? How many of Elvis's songs earned him a Grammy Award? In a standard chorus, there are this many vocal parts. How many of George Foreman's kids are named George? What thread connects each of those? Each of those has a word in it that is a clue to a theme connecting each of these.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, I got it. They're all Broadway musical.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it right. There's Broadway musicals.

[Sean Hayes]

Chorus line.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Which Broadway musicals?

[Ali Wentworth]

Chorus line.

[Sean Hayes]

Chorus line. Cat.

[Ali Wentworth]

Hamilton.

[Sean Hayes]

Hamilton.

[Ali Wentworth]

Sunday in the park with George.

[Sean Hayes]

George.

[Ali Wentworth]

Cats.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Henry viii. Is that and Juliet or no. What's Henry viii?

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's six. There's a musical called Six, which is a.

[Sean Hayes]

That's what it was. That's what I meant. And then the Elvis song.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And then Elvis. There's an Elvis musical? Yeah. Is there, you know, like a jukebox musical? You know, where Elvis climbs out of a jukebox and he plays some songs, climbs back in again. They wheel the jukebox Offstage. And it's more of a magic show than a musical.

[Sean Hayes]

Games.

[Ali Wentworth]

Hey, Sean, you saw Hamilton, right?

[Sean Hayes]

I did. I can't tell you what it was.

[Ali Wentworth]

What number president.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners did you do? As well as Sean and Ally? If not, don't panic. This was only a test. Now you'll know what to expect when we play this game for real next week. Until then, sharpen your blade on today's Cliffhanger Puzzle. The Cliffhanger Puzzle is like when you think the movie's about to wrap up and then it says to be continued, and you're both excited and a little annoyed. Today's Cliffhanger is another of our questionably popular series, Samesies. And it goes. What makes the following three things samesies? A snake, a delicatessen, and a piano lesson. What makes those three things samesies? A snake, a delicatessen, and a piano lesson? We'll find out the answer on the next episode. Sean and Ally, do you have any idea?

[Ali Wentworth]

I do have the answer, but we'll wait till next week.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Okay, let's wait till next time. We don't want to unwrap it too early. Before we end, I wanted to call out, Sean, how much I enjoyed the way that you answered Broadway musicals for the megaclue. It was with a sense of not quite dismay, but almost like musicals again.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. No, I believe. I love it.

[Ali Wentworth]

Are you kidding me? He went like this. They're all Broadway musicals.

[Sean Hayes]

No, no, I know, because I meant, like, I'm so stupid that it even took me 30 seconds to figure that out. I should have known it right away.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No, no, no. I was very impressed that the Ellie that you got Sunday in the park with George, just off of George, that was the one. I was worried that would be the hardest to get, but it wasn't at all.

[Ali Wentworth]

Because, Elliot, I own the painting, that's why.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, my God.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow. The actual painting.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That is a great new kitchen that you've got.

[Sean Hayes]

Seurat. Is that his name?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Seurat, yes. What's great about having a surat in your kitchen is that if it gets splatters on it, nobody notices because there's just dots everywhere already.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, I got some watermelon that's been saroding in there.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Well, that's the absolute que Serrat.

[Ali Wentworth]

Serrate.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That is the absolute entirety of our episode today. Trust me. I shook the bag to see if there was anything else left. There's nothing but crumbs. And final thanks. And so I'd like to thank Ali Wentworth. Thank you for being one of our best podcast friends. I'd also like to thank Sean Hayes for being a vital member of our podcast family. And I'd like to thank you, the listener, for granting us your brief attention like some kind of podcast God who decides whether we live or die. Or rather, whether the podcast keeps going on. You have been shining down on Smartless Presents Clueless, and I'm your host, Ellie Kaelin. Saying, was your card the six of diamonds? Did I remember to ask you to pick a card at the top of the episode?

[Sean Hayes]

No, I forgot. You forgot?

[Elliot Kaelin]

I didn't, didn't I? Okay, please pretend you're surprised next episode when you pick the six of diamonds. Goodbye, everyone.

[Sean Hayes]

Goodbye.

[Ali Wentworth]

Bye, Clueless.

[Jason Reich]

You have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who does like candy. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Jason Reich and Kevin Lehman. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[Sean Hayes]

Smart, less mediocre.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

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