SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Episode 174 – Hobbit Day (Mini Episode)
Release Date: September 22, 2025
Host: Elliott Kalan
Producer: Devin Tory Bryant
Episode Overview
In this bite-sized Hobbit Day special, host Elliott Kalan and producer Devin celebrate the birthday of Bilbo Baggins by taking listeners on a whirlwind tour of Tolkien trivia, etymology, and a brain-twisting word puzzle game—all with the series’ trademark warmth and wit. Listeners are challenged to match their wits against the show’s Middle-Earth themed puzzles, discover the origins of “hobbit,” and maybe even learn something profound about language itself.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. What is Hobbit Day? (01:52)
- Hobbit Day marks the birthday of Bilbo Baggins, hero of The Hobbit and a major figure in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series.
- Elliott briefly humorously addresses nerdy calendar debates about Bilbo's actual birthday:
“Now, before you write me an angry letter, I know there's some discrepancy between our Gregorian calendar and the Hobbit's Shire calendar, which would place Bilbo's date of birth closer to September 13th... And if you think that's confusing, try figuring out when to celebrate the first night of Hobbit Chanukah.” (01:54)
2. Starter Puzzle: What are Tolkien Fans Called? (02:16, Answer at 03:45)
- Elliott’s starter question: Which is NOT a real term for a Tolkien fan?
- Tolkienites
- Ringers
- Lordies
- Tolkienists
- Fun quip while waiting for answers: “Why don't you tell us where the word hobbit came from? I have always wondered.” — Devin (02:47)
3. Origin of the Word ‘Hobbit’ (02:55)
- Elliott reveals the origin:
“It came from J.R.R. Tolkien's brain. He claimed hobbit just popped out of his head one day while he was grading papers as a professor… Tolkien loved making up words and even whole languages and said hobbit wasn't based on any other words.”
- He humorously riffs on other possible word origins, like “rabbit” (“because they also live in burrows”), “hobgoblin,” and even “Babbitt” by Sinclair Lewis, despite its complete lack of wizards or trolls.
4. Puzzle Reveal: Which Fan Name Is Fake? (03:41–03:45)
- Elliott gives the answer:
“And the answer is Lordies. Nobody calls anybody that. We made it up. Just like good old JRRT would have done.” (03:45)
5. Main Game: Middle-earth Creature Word Puzzle (04:07–06:05, Answers at 08:10–10:06)
- Elliott introduces a themed word puzzle. Each group contains three clues; answers include a hidden Tolkien creature.
- Group 1 Clues:
- Photo you take of your own face
- Where December falls when counting the months
- Like the best liquor
- Group 2 Clues:
- Thing to push a baby in
- Kind of transportation in San Francisco or New Orleans
- You might use it to get a thread off your shirt
- Group 3 Clues:
- Place where lots of apples or oranges grow
- The end of a marriage
- First horror film to be nominated for best picture
6. Puzzle Solutions and Explanations (08:10–10:06)
Elliott “dorksplains” the answers with playful commentary.
- Group 1 Answers: Selfie, Twelfth, Top Shelf
- Hidden creature: “Elf”
“Elf. That's right. The elves are back. They didn't all go to the Grey Havens or wherever. Or wherever it is they go to. I think they're from the Grey Havens. I don't remember. They're elves. Anyway, elf was the word hiding in there. Not Christmas elf. Tolkien elf.” (09:08)
- Group 2 Answers: Stroller, Trolley, Lint Roller
- Hidden creature: “Troll”
“Again, a Tolkien troll. Not a hiding-under-a-bridge-eating-billy-goats troll. It's a Tolkien troll. But there's troll in there.” (09:44)
- Group 3 Answers: Orchard, Divorce, Exorcist
- Hidden creature: “Orc”
“Orc. The worst of them. You don't want that guy hiding around you. That's not good.” (10:03)
7. Language and Wordplay Reflection (10:06)
- Elliott closes with an offbeat, thought-provoking note about language:
“Here's the secret about words. They're all made up. Not just the Tolkien ones. All of them. Even the ones I'm using right now.” (10:09)
8. Declaration of Friendship & Return (10:28–10:46)
- Devin and Elliott end with a warm sign-off and a tongue-in-cheek shift to pirate talk:
“Me hardy. And I be as confused as you are how my fantasy talk turned into pirate talk.” — Elliott (10:44)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Hobbit Day and Tolkien Calendar Jokes:
“If you think that's confusing, try figuring out when to celebrate the first night of Hobbit Chanukah.” (01:59) - Word Origins Fun:
“The Oxford English Dictionary recognized Tolkien as the inventor of the word hobbit, even though they refused to recognize my invention of the word gebla nebla, sebla nebla, just because it doesn't mean anything.” (03:27) - Word Wisdom:
“Here's the secret about words. They're all made up. Not just the Tolkien ones. All of them. Even the ones I'm using right now.” (10:09)
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 01:52 | Introduction to Hobbit Day and Tolkien fan trivia | | 02:55 | Origin of the word ‘hobbit’ | | 03:45 | Starter question answer (fake Tolkien fan name) | | 04:07–06:05 | Main Puzzle: Tolkien Creature Word Game | | 08:10–10:06 | Puzzle Solutions and “dorksplanation” | | 10:06 | Elliott’s reflection on language | | 10:44 | Sign-off, pirate talk, episode close |
Tone and Style
The episode sparkles with Elliott Kalan’s snappy, self-deprecating humor and lighthearted nerdery, delighting in wordplay and playful asides, while still treating puzzles and trivia with real affection.
Final Thoughts
This Hobbit Day mini-episode is a perfect sampler of SmartLess Presents ClueLess: rapid-fire wit, brainy games, and a celebration of language both fictional and real. Whether you’re a Ringer, a Tolkienite, or the as-yet-unofficial “Lordy,” you’ll walk away with a smile—and maybe even a hankering to invent your own word.