177 - National Pasta Month (Mini Episode)

Summary

---

SmartLess Presents ClueLess

Episode 177 - National Pasta Month (Mini Episode)

Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Elliott Kalan
Producer: Devin Tory Bright
Contestant for season: Sean Hayes (not present in this mini episode)

---

Episode Overview

This bite-sized episode of ClueLess celebrates National Pasta Month with a pasta-themed set of brainteasers and fun facts. Host Elliott Kalan, combining quick-witted humor with trivia, engages listeners in a pair of food-centric puzzles: first, a "food mascot odd one out," and then a game of "Pasta, Italian Inventor, or Active Volcano." The episode is lively, fast-paced, and loaded with playful banter—perfect for puzzle enthusiasts and pasta lovers alike.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Pasta Month Kickoff & Unique Intro

• Elliott introduces the mini-episode with typical self-referential banter, poking fun at his own memory (“I never forget a face. Well, I never forget my face. I'm wearing it right now.” – Elliott Kaelin, [01:27]).
• The episode’s purpose is established as a tribute to National Pasta Month, with jokes about pasta getting more recognition than mothers (“Mothers only get one day, but pasta gets a whole month…next time try going better with carbonara sauce.” – Elliott, [01:55]).

---

2. Odd One Out: Food Mascot Mystery

Question Segment ([01:55]–[03:42])

• Elliott challenges listeners with a classic logic puzzle:
  “Who is the odd one out in this list of popular food mascots: Ronald McDonald, Ernest J. Keebler, Chef Boyardee, and Julius Pringles?”
• Producer Devin prompts Elliott to share pasta trivia while listeners consider the answer.

National Pasta Month Fun Facts ([02:54])

• Elliott reveals quirky Italian pasta name translations:
  • Linguine: “little tongues”
  • Orchietti: “little ears”
  • Vermicelli: “little worms”
• (“Linguine. That means little tongues. Ugh. Orchietti. Little ears. Don't eat that. No. Vermicelli. Little worms. Gross. But also pretty accurate.” – Elliott, [02:54])
• Jokes about Jersey Halloween traditions:
  “…kids dress up in costumes and go door to door demanding pasta. At least that's how we did it back in Jersey.” ([03:42])

Mascot Mystery Solution ([03:48])

• Answer: Chef Boyardee is the odd one out, as he was a real person; the others are fictional mascots.
  “All the other mascots were fictional… Chef Boyardee was a real person and a real chef… he even catered at President Woodrow Wilson's wedding.” – Elliott, [03:48]

---

3. Main Game: Pasta, Italian Inventor, or Active Volcano?

Game Introduction ([03:48]–[05:48])

• Elliott instructs listeners to identify whether each of the following is a pasta, Italian inventor, or active volcano:
  • Gratini, Jacuzzi, Stromboli, Marconi, Manicotti, Tambora, Pappardelle, Fermi
• Encourages playful engagement:
  “Do you have your answers? If so, set them free. If they don't come back to you by the end of this commercial break, they were never yours to begin with.” – Elliott, [05:45]

[Ad Break Skipped]

Answer Reveal ([07:48])

• Gratini: Pasta
  “That is a pasta.” – Elliott, [07:51]

• Jacuzzi: Italian Inventor
  “Candido Jacuzzi invented a portable pump that can turn any bathtub into a whirlpool… Jacuzzi is named after the guy who invented the Jacuzzi, whose name was Jacuzzi.” – Elliott, [07:54]

• Stromboli: Active Volcano
  “That is an active volcano off the coast of Sicily.” – Elliott, [08:00]

• Marconi: Italian Inventor
  “Guillermo Marconi is credited with being the inventor of the radio and won a Nobel Prize in 1909…” – Elliott, [08:04]

• Notable exchange:

  • Devin: “Marconi is referenced in We Built the City…Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, which he didn't technically…” ([08:47])
  • Elliott: “That's even better than a Nobel Prize—it is getting mentioned in a Jefferson Starship song.” ([09:00])

• Manicotti: Pasta
  “That is a pasta, or as they called it where I'm from, Jersey, ‘manicott’.” – Elliott, [09:06]

• Tambora: Active Volcano
  “An active Indonesian volcano. It erupted in 1815…the most powerful volcanic event in recorded human history…1816 became known as the Year without a Summer. And it led directly to the writing of the book Frankenstein.” – Elliott, [09:21]

• Pappardelle: Pasta
  “That's a pasta…The pasta is pretty much little something.” – Elliott, [09:48]

• Fermi: Italian Inventor
  “Rico Fermi was the Manhattan Project physicist…” – Elliott, [10:04]

Recap of Answers ([10:04])

• Elliott quickly lists correct categories for each word.

---

4. Memorable Quotes and Banter

• On pasta vs. mothers:
  “Mothers only get one day, but pasta gets a whole month. Sorry, moms. Next time try going better with carbonara sauce.” – Elliott, [01:55]
• Regarding play on words:
  “Producer Devin, you're only allowed one play on words per fiscal year, and you just used yours.” – Elliott, [02:54]
• Jersey nostalgia:
  “I'm watching you. Also, something we used to say a lot in Jersey.” – Elliott, [03:48]
• The carnivalesque closing:
  “When you're listening to Clueless, you're family, and in my family, we play games.” – Elliott, [03:48]
• Tongue-in-cheek sign-off:
  “You are what you eat, especially if you bite your toenails.” – Elliott, [10:54]
  • Producer Devin: “No.” ([11:04])
  • Elliott: “People do it. Producer Devin, people do it.” ([11:04])

---

Notable Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------|-------------| | Main/Pasta Month Introduced | 01:55 | | Mascot Quiz Presented | 01:55 | | Fun Pasta Name Meanings | 02:54 | | Mascot Quiz Solution | 03:48 | | Main Game Begins | 03:48 | | Main Game Answers Revealed | 07:48 | | Marconi/Pop Culture Discussion | 08:47 | | Tambora/Frankenstein Anecdote | 09:21 | | Recap and Sign-Off | 10:49–10:54 |

---

Tone

• Playful, witty, and a bit nerdy—the episode is loaded with pasta puns, affectionate ribbing between Elliott and Producer Devin, and quirky trivia. Elliott’s comedic timing and Jersey nostalgia keep things lively throughout.

---

Summary

Episode 177 of ClueLess offers a brisk, trivia-rich celebration of National Pasta Month. Host Elliott Kalan blends humor with genuine curiosity, delivering brainteasers and pasta facts that are as entertaining as they are informative. The food mascot “odd one out” and “Pasta, Italian Inventor, or Active Volcano?” games provide interactive opportunities for listeners to test their knowledge, all framed by witty banter and charming asides. If you’re new to ClueLess, this episode easily captures the show’s blend of family-friendly games, obscure facts, and self-deprecating comedy—the perfect snack for your brain.

---

Transcript

[Elliot Kaelin]

Finding a therapist online is hard enough, but finding one who actually takes your insurance, that's even harder. Rula is a healthcare company that makes accessing affordable, high quality mental health care easier. They partner with over 100 insurance plans and match users with licensed in network therapists and psychiatrists nationwide based on their goals, preferences and background. No long wait lists, no frustrating back and forth, just personalized care that fits. Plus, Rula sticks with you throughout your journey, checking in to make sure your care is helping you move forward. Appointments are often available as soon as tomorrow, and with most patients paying just $15 per session, sometimes even less, it's care that actually fits your budget too. Thousands are already using Rula for therapy that's high quality, accessible and covered by Insurance. Visit rula.com clueless to get started. After signing up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Let them know this show sent you there. That's r u l a.com clueless because mental health care should work with you, not against your budget. Smart Bless media. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold. Specifically Josh Silver and Morris Gold of West Orange, New Jersey. Great friends. This is Clueless.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clueless. I'm Clueless. Welcome to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that isn't afraid to show its feelings. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and I never forget a face. Well, I never forget my face. I'm wearing it right now. Producer Devin, what's on the docket for today?

[Devin Tory Bright]

Well, Elliot, season two of Clueless got lost in a nor' Easter off the coast of Maine, so this I know. So this week you'll be hosting another mini episode.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Aye aye, cap'. N. That's because it's ship themed, apparently. Yeah, today's mini episode is all about National Pasta Month, so forget that ship theme I just talked about. We're talking past Mama Mia. So just for the record, mothers only get one day, but pasta gets a whole month. Sorry, moms. Next time try going better with carbonara sauce. So in honor of Italian noodles, let's take our fork and swirl it around in our first question of the episode, it's a food themed odd one out. Odd one out. Get out. Can you tell me who is the odd one out in this list of popular food mascots? And that list is Ronald McDonald, Ernest J. Keebler, Chef Boyardee and Julius Pringles. Again, who is the odd one out from Ronald McDonald? Ernest J. Keebler, Chef Boyardee and Julius Pringles.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Hey Elliot, while the listeners are chewing over that question, why don't you tell us a little bit more about National Pasta Month?

[Elliot Kaelin]

I sure will, Producer Devin. But first, I'll remind you, you're only allowed one play on words per fiscal year, and you just used yours. I'm sorry, I don't want to hear another play on words out of you until the next financial cycle. That's fair. Okay. Thank you. Just be aware, the National Pasta association estimates that Americans eat between 15 and 20 pounds of pasta every year, which is a lot. So if you're looking to cut back on carbs, let me help you by telling you what the names of some of your favorite pastas mean if you translate them from Italian to English. Linguine. That means little tongues. Ugh. Orchietti. Little ears. Don't eat that. No. Vermicelli. Little worms. Gross. But also pretty accurate. National Pasta Month, of course, ends on October 31st. Halloween. When kids dress up in costumes and go door to door demanding pasta. At least that's how we did it back in Jersey.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Elliot, I'm concerned that some of your Jersey stories aren't appropriate for a family audience. Why don't you give us the answer to our mascot mystery?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Hey, watch it, Producer Devin. That alliteration was dangerously close to wordplay. I'm watching you. Also, something we used to say a lot in Jersey. So who's the odd one out in our food mascot list to remind you? They were Ronald McDonald, Ernest J. Keebler, Chef Boyardee, and Julius Pringles. And the answer is Chef Boyardee. All the other mascots were fictional characters. I'm sorry to break it to you. There is no real Julius Pringles. There's no real Ernest J. Keibler. I'm sorry, but Chef Boyardee was a real person and a real chef in 1915. He even catered at President Woodrow Wilson's wedding. Now, me, I wouldn't serve canned ravioli at my wedding, but then again, I've never been president. Listeners, did you get the right answer? If not, that's okay. Because when you're listening to Clueless, you're family, and in my family, we play games. So today's main game is a quiz called Pasta Italian Inventor or Active Volcano? Well, is it Pasta Italian or is it Active Volcano? I'm going to give you a list of words, and you have to tell me if each one is the name of a pasta, the name of an Italian inventor, or the name of an active volcano. And those words are. Gratini, Jacuzzi. Stromboli, marconi, manicotti, tambora, pappardelle, or fermi. Again, those words are gratini, jacuzzi, stromboli, marconi, manicotti, tambora, pappardelle. Pappardelle, I guess. Or fermi. Do you have your answers? If so, set them free. If they don't come back to you by the end of this commercial break, they were never yours to begin with. We'll be right.

[Jeff Bridges]

Morning Zoe. Got donuts.

[Dana]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Jeff Bridges]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T Mobile commercial like you teach me.

[Dana]

So Dana oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly AT T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Jeff Bridges]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T Mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Nice.

[Dana]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Jeff Bridges]

T Mobile is the best place to.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition.

[Jeff Bridges]

So what are we having for lunch?

[Dana]

Dude, my work here is done.

[Scott]

The 24 month bill credit is on Experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge credit send and balance due date payoff earlier Cancel Finance agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 250 gigs $1099.99 and new line minimum $100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oaklo Speed Test Intelligence data 1H 2025 is@t mobile.com I'm Scott.

[Hansen]

Hansen, host of NFL Red Zone. Lowe's knows Sundays hit different when you earn them. We've got you covered with outdoor power equipment from Cobalt and everything you need to weatherproof your deck with Trex decking. Plus with lawn care from Scotts and of course, Hit Boss grills and accessories, you can get a home field advantage all season long. So get to Lowe's, get it done and earn your sundae. Lowe's Official Partner of the NFL if.

[Unidentified Guest or Narrator]

There'S one thing more important than the game, it's the snacks. That's why Gorton Seafood is bringing the ultimate crunch to game day. Try seafood sliders with our crispy fish fillets or pair our popcorn shrimp with a sauce lineup for an appetizer every fan will love. Whether you're a sports super fan or just here for the snacks, Gorton's has the crunch to keep any Crowd satisfied for game day. Visit gortons.com for game day recipes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome back to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that brushes its teeth before every meal. It's time to reveal the answers to today's main game. Pasta, Italian inventor, or active volcano? So I'm going to go through the list, and I'm going to tell you the answers. First, Gratini. That is a pasta. Next. Jacuzzi. That's an Italian inventor. Candido Jacuzzi invented a portable pump that can turn any bathtub into a whirlpool. So. That's right. Jacuzzi is named after the guy who invented the Jacuzzi, whose name was Jacuzzi. It's all so simple when you know about it. Yes. Next. Stromboli. That is an active volcano off the coast of Sicily. Next. Marconi. That's an Italian inventor. Guillermo Marconi is credited with being the inventor of the radio and won a Nobel Prize in 1909 for his contribution to the development of wireless telegraphy. Kind of makes Candido Jacuzzi not seem as impressive as an inventor.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Well, and also, Marconi is referenced in We Built the City. Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, which he didn't technically. I mean, he invented part of whatever. He gets a name check. Jacuzzi doesn't get a name check in a Jefferson Starship song.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's true. That's a good point. That's even better than a Nobel Prize. It is getting mentioned at a Jefferson Starship song.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Exactly.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Next. Manicotti. That is a pasta, or as they called it where I'm from, Jersey Manicott. So if you were expect, if you didn't recognize it because you used to hear it called manicott instead of manicotti, I would understand. Manicotti is a pasta.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Next.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Tambora. That is an active volcano. An active Indonesian volcano. Now, it erupted in 1815, and it was the most powerful volcanic event in recorded human history. It put so much ash and volcanic gas into the atmosphere that it blocked out the sun and the Earth cooled to the point that 1816 became known as the Year without a Summer. And it led directly to the writing of the book Frankenstein. Don't believe me? Look it up. You can thank that volcano, Frank, for Frankenstein.

[Unidentified Guest or Narrator]

Wow.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And if you're not a fan of Frankenstein, I guess you can blame them. Blame it for Frankenstein. Yeah. Next. Pappardell or pappardelle. That's a pasta. It probably means little papa or little peppers or something like that. Something like that. The pasta is pretty much. Little something.

[Devin Tory Bright]

Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You don't want big things in your pasta.

[Devin Tory Bright]

No.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And finally, Fermi is an Italian inventor. Rico Fermi was the Manhattan Project physicist who created the world's first nuclear reactor. And so, to give you the answers real quick, rotini pasta, Jacuzzi. Inventor. Stromboli Volcano. Marconi. Inventor. Manicotti pasta. Tambora Volcano. Pappardelle pasta Enferme. Inventor. Mamma mia. So, listeners, did you get the answers? If so, congratulations. This day will be remembered forever, or at least until the end of the episode, which is right now. But before we go, I want to thank you for listening to every word of the show, even the ones I mispronounced and a couple that I just plain made up.

[Devin Tory Bright]

And thank you ahead of time for listening to Clueless Season 2, which is on its way very soon.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We'll be back next week with more Smartless presents Clueless. Until then, I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, reminding you that you are what you eat, especially if you bite your toenails.

[Unidentified Guest or Narrator]

Aw.

[Elliot Kaelin]

People do it. Producer Devin People do it.

[Devin Tory Bright]

No, Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bright, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Brock Mahan. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, remember, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Smart Bless media.

[NYQUIL Voiceover]

When the flu is keeping you up at night, don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with NYQUIL Intense Flu. You got this. It provides powerful relief of your flu symptoms so you can sleep well through the night. NYQUIL Intense Flu the nighttime Sniffling, aching, aching fever. Best sleep with a flu medicine. Use as directed. Keep out of reach of children.