Elliot Kaelin (2:54)

I sure will, Producer Devin. But first, I'll remind you, you're only allowed one play on words per fiscal year, and you just used yours. I'm sorry, I don't want to hear another play on words out of you until the next financial cycle. That's fair. Okay. Thank you. Just be aware, the National Pasta association estimates that Americans eat between 15 and 20 pounds of pasta every year, which is a lot. So if you're looking to cut back on carbs, let me help you by telling you what the names of some of your favorite pastas mean if you translate them from Italian to English. Linguine. That means little tongues. Ugh. Orchietti. Little ears. Don't eat that. No. Vermicelli. Little worms. Gross. But also pretty accurate. National Pasta Month, of course, ends on October 31st. Halloween. When kids dress up in costumes and go door to door demanding pasta. At least that's how we did it back in Jersey.

Devin Tory Bright (3:42)

Elliot, I'm concerned that some of your Jersey stories aren't appropriate for a family audience. Why don't you give us the answer to our mascot mystery?

Elliot Kaelin (3:48)

Hey, watch it, Producer Devin. That alliteration was dangerously close to wordplay. I'm watching you. Also, something we used to say a lot in Jersey. So who's the odd one out in our food mascot list to remind you? They were Ronald McDonald, Ernest J. Keebler, Chef Boyardee, and Julius Pringles. And the answer is Chef Boyardee. All the other mascots were fictional characters. I'm sorry to break it to you. There is no real Julius Pringles. There's no real Ernest J. Keibler. I'm sorry, but Chef Boyardee was a real person and a real chef in 1915. He even catered at President Woodrow Wilson's wedding. Now, me, I wouldn't serve canned ravioli at my wedding, but then again, I've never been president. Listeners, did you get the right answer? If not, that's okay. Because when you're listening to Clueless, you're family, and in my family, we play games. So today's main game is a quiz called Pasta Italian Inventor or Active Volcano? Well, is it Pasta Italian or is it Active Volcano? I'm going to give you a list of words, and you have to tell me if each one is the name of a pasta, the name of an Italian inventor, or the name of an active volcano. And those words are. Gratini, Jacuzzi. Stromboli, marconi, manicotti, tambora, pappardelle, or fermi. Again, those words are gratini, jacuzzi, stromboli, marconi, manicotti, tambora, pappardelle. Pappardelle, I guess. Or fermi. Do you have your answers? If so, set them free. If they don't come back to you by the end of this commercial break, they were never yours to begin with. We'll be right.

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Elliot Kaelin (7:48)

Welcome back to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that brushes its teeth before every meal. It's time to reveal the answers to today's main game. Pasta, Italian inventor, or active volcano? So I'm going to go through the list, and I'm going to tell you the answers. First, Gratini. That is a pasta. Next. Jacuzzi. That's an Italian inventor. Candido Jacuzzi invented a portable pump that can turn any bathtub into a whirlpool. So. That's right. Jacuzzi is named after the guy who invented the Jacuzzi, whose name was Jacuzzi. It's all so simple when you know about it. Yes. Next. Stromboli. That is an active volcano off the coast of Sicily. Next. Marconi. That's an Italian inventor. Guillermo Marconi is credited with being the inventor of the radio and won a Nobel Prize in 1909 for his contribution to the development of wireless telegraphy. Kind of makes Candido Jacuzzi not seem as impressive as an inventor.

Devin Tory Bright (8:47)

Well, and also, Marconi is referenced in We Built the City. Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, which he didn't technically. I mean, he invented part of whatever. He gets a name check. Jacuzzi doesn't get a name check in a Jefferson Starship song.

Elliot Kaelin (9:00)

That's true. That's a good point. That's even better than a Nobel Prize. It is getting mentioned at a Jefferson Starship song.

Devin Tory Bright (9:04)

Exactly.

Elliot Kaelin (9:06)

Next. Manicotti. That is a pasta, or as they called it where I'm from, Jersey Manicott. So if you were expect, if you didn't recognize it because you used to hear it called manicott instead of manicotti, I would understand. Manicotti is a pasta.

Devin Tory Bright (9:21)

Next.

Elliot Kaelin (9:21)

Tambora. That is an active volcano. An active Indonesian volcano. Now, it erupted in 1815, and it was the most powerful volcanic event in recorded human history. It put so much ash and volcanic gas into the atmosphere that it blocked out the sun and the Earth cooled to the point that 1816 became known as the Year without a Summer. And it led directly to the writing of the book Frankenstein. Don't believe me? Look it up. You can thank that volcano, Frank, for Frankenstein.

Unidentified Guest or Narrator (9:48)

Wow.

Elliot Kaelin (9:48)

And if you're not a fan of Frankenstein, I guess you can blame them. Blame it for Frankenstein. Yeah. Next. Pappardell or pappardelle. That's a pasta. It probably means little papa or little peppers or something like that. Something like that. The pasta is pretty much. Little something.

Devin Tory Bright (10:01)

Yes.

Elliot Kaelin (10:02)

You don't want big things in your pasta.

Devin Tory Bright (10:04)

No.

Elliot Kaelin (10:04)

And finally, Fermi is an Italian inventor. Rico Fermi was the Manhattan Project physicist who created the world's first nuclear reactor. And so, to give you the answers real quick, rotini pasta, Jacuzzi. Inventor. Stromboli Volcano. Marconi. Inventor. Manicotti pasta. Tambora Volcano. Pappardelle pasta Enferme. Inventor. Mamma mia. So, listeners, did you get the answers? If so, congratulations. This day will be remembered forever, or at least until the end of the episode, which is right now. But before we go, I want to thank you for listening to every word of the show, even the ones I mispronounced and a couple that I just plain made up.

Devin Tory Bright (10:49)

And thank you ahead of time for listening to Clueless Season 2, which is on its way very soon.

Elliot Kaelin (10:54)

We'll be back next week with more Smartless presents Clueless. Until then, I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, reminding you that you are what you eat, especially if you bite your toenails.

Unidentified Guest or Narrator (11:02)

Aw.

Elliot Kaelin (11:04)

People do it. Producer Devin People do it.

Devin Tory Bright (11:07)

No, Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bright, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Brock Mahan. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, remember, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

Elliot Kaelin (11:57)

Smart Bless media.

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