179 - Halloween (Mini Episode)

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Episode Title: 179 - Halloween (Mini Episode)
Release Date: October 27, 2025
Host: Elliott Kalan (joined by producer Devin Tory Bryant)
Episode Length: 11–12 minutes

This Halloween “fun size” episode—delivered in the usual bite-sized ClueLess format—features puzzle master Elliott Kalan and producer Devin Tory Bryant as they guide listeners through Halloween-themed trivia and word games. The show revolves around clever monster/celebrity "mashups," playful banter, Halloween trivia, and comedic takes on spooky season traditions. The energetic hosts create a light, comedic, and interactive experience, inviting listeners to puzzle along.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the (Playful) Scene

• [01:13] Elliott humorously opens by describing waking up among zoo animals, leading straight into the Halloween theme.
• The hosts joke about classic cartoon references (the “wrong turn at Albuquerque,” Pismo Beach, and the Coachella Carrot Festival) before focusing on the intimate, listener-driven format of this mini-episode.

Halloween as the "Greatest Holiday"

• [02:28] Devin asserts Halloween’s top holiday status, riffing that, uniquely, "a maniac with a bloody chainsaw means candy... this is the only day where a maniac with a bloody chainsaw means candy."
  • Quote, [02:41]: “Any other day of the year, if a maniac with a bloody chainsaw jumped out at you, it would be bad news. This is the only day where a maniac with a bloody chainsaw means candy.” – Devin Tory Bryant

Spooky Music Trivia

• [02:56] Trivia Question: “Which of the following songs did BBC Radio ban upon its release because the lyrics were seem to be too morbid?”
  • Choices: Thriller (Michael Jackson), Monster Mash (Bobby Boris Pickett), Paranoid (Black Sabbath), Sympathy for the Devil (Rolling Stones)
  • Playful ghost/cow “moo-sic” puns
  • Answer revealed: Monster Mash
  • Quote, [04:54]: “But the song the BBC banned was actually Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Picket.” – Devin Tory Bryant

Haunted House History

• [03:57] Elliott introduces the world’s oldest haunted house attraction: "ye Haunted Cottage" in England (110 years old).
  • The hosts banter about its resemblance to a poorly-heated NYC apartment.
  • Quote, [04:14]: “Accurately recreating the horror of my first New York City apartment. I'll Never forget you, 543 E. Fifth St. You or your terrible heating system.” – Devin Tory Bryant

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Main Game: Celebrity Monster Mashups (Puzzles)

Game Explanation

• [05:25] Elliott preps listeners for the main word game:
  • Famous Halloween monsters + pop culture celebrities = “terrifying abominations”
  • All clues are pun-based mashups.

Examples Given:

• [05:45] If the clue is about a mischievous imp who wrote a hip-hop musical about Alexander Hamilton, the answer is “Goblin Manuel Miranda” (or "Gremlin Manuel Miranda").

Round One

1. [06:01] “This actor, writer, director is really gone girl. He’s given up hunting for goodwill and has started hunting for blood.”
   • Answer: “Ben Draculafleck” (Ben Affleck + Dracula)
2. [06:35] “A mad scientist brings to life a monster cobbled together from characters from the movies Pitch Perfect, True Grit, Bumblebee, Sinners, and Hawkeye.”
   • Answer: “Hailey Frankensteinfeld” (Hailee Steinfeld + Frankenstein)
3. [07:07] “This comedy star has announced his engagement... to the creature from the previous question.”
   • Answer: “Danny McBride of Frankensteinfeld” (Danny McBride + Bride of Frankenstein + Steinfeld)
   • Quote, [07:26]: “It was two. It was two. Not just Bride of Frankenstein. Bride of Frankensteinfeld. Danny McBride of Frankensteinfeld.” – Devin Tory Bryant

Round Two (Post-break, [09:07])

1. [09:15] “When the moon is full, this lycanthropic classical composer transforms into an infernal hound on the piano...”
   • Answer: “Werewolfgang Amadeus Mozart” (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart + werewolf)
   • Quote, [09:48]: “Werewolf Gang Amadeus Mozart. I would have also accepted Wolf Man Amadeus Mozart.” – Devin Tory Bryant
2. [10:10] “If you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you’d see... the undead corpse of this Golden Girls actress.”
   • Answer: “Zombie Arthur” (Bea Arthur + zombie)
3. [10:49] “After relocating to California, this vampire finds himself thirsty not for blood, but love in the city of Compton...”
   • Answer: “Nosferatupac Shakur” (Nosferatu + Tupac Shakur)
   • Quote, [11:14]: “Nosferatu Pakistan Shakur.” – Devin Tory Bryant

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Playful banter on cartoon references and Halloween traditions
  • “It’s very hard to get to Pismo Beach without making that turn.” – Devin, [02:06]
• On not getting the right answer:
  • “Just tell everyone that your costume this year is listener who didn’t get the answer right now.” – Devin, [05:17]
• Halloween game enthusiasm:
  • “Now, that is the first round of what is officially my favorite game we’ve ever done.” – Devin, [07:33]
• Closing Halloween wisdom:
  • “Halloween only comes once a year, but nobody can stop you putting a face on a pumpkin anytime you feel like it.” – Elliott, [12:17]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:13] – Fun Halloween/zoo open, banter begins
• [02:28] – Declaring Halloween the “greatest holiday”
• [02:56] – Halloween music banned-by-BBC trivia
• [03:57] – Oldest haunted house and fun personal anecdotes
• [05:25] – Introduction of monster mashup word game
• [06:01 – 07:33] – Celebrity Monster Mashups: Round One
• [09:07] – Return from break, Monster Mashups: Round Two
• [10:10] – Golden Girls/zombie mashup
• [10:49] – Nosferatu/Tupac mashup
• [11:28] – Lighthearted wrap-up and Halloween advice

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Closing Thoughts

The episode is a lively celebration of Halloween’s quirks, blending interactive puzzle games, clever wordplay, and light-hearted trivia. Elliott and Devin’s banter keeps the energy high and the mood silly, using witty quips and cultural references to engage listeners of all ages. Whether you love Halloween, word games, or just enjoy cheerful podcasts, this episode provides a festive, fun-size experience.

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For New Listeners

You don’t need any previous knowledge to enjoy this mini-episode, but puzzle lovers and pop culture fans will appreciate the mashup challenges. The hosts encourage playful participation, so feel free to guess along—even if you end up as the "listener who didn’t get the answer right."

Transcript

[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Devin Tory Bryant]

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[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Devin Tory Bryant]

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[Elliot Kaelin]

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[Devin Tory Bryant]

You heard about them.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Let them know this show sent you there. That's r u l a.com clueless because mental health care should work with you, not against your budget. Smart.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Bless me.

[Elliot Kaelin]

As I woke to the sounds of the toucans in the trees and the elephants trumpeting, the rising sun and the growls of the polar bears, I realized I had fallen asleep at the zoo again. This is Clueless.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Clueless. Clueless.

I'm Clueless.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Welcome to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's more fun.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Than a barrel of monkeys.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Because honestly, a barrel of monkeys doesn't.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sound that much fun. Definitely not for the monkeys.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

No.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and I live in a pineapple under the sea.

But I did it first and I don't own.

I rent. Producer Devin, how are we making the.

World a better place today?

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Well, unfortunately, season two did take that wrong turn at Albuquerque. So today we've got another Clueless mini episode. I know.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

It always gets lost there.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

I know. All its way to Pismo Beach.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

You know, it's very.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

It's very, very hard to get to Pismo beach without making that turn.

Wrong turn or the Coachella Carrot.

Coachella Valley. With the Coachella Carrot festival in the Coachella Valley.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

They're in.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yes, they're in. Yeah. Thank you.

I'm glad.

Now that we've established that we've seen the same cartoons, let's continue with this Clueless mini.

It's just me, producer Devin, and you, the listener. It's so intimate.

That's what I love about these Clueless minis.

Today we're cluelessing about the greatest holiday on the calendar.

Halloween.

Any other day of the gear. If a maniac with a bloody chainsaw.

Jumped out at you, it would be bad news. This is the only day where a.

Maniac with a bloody chainsaw means candy.

You're getting candy. This also means this isn't technically a mini episode.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It is now officially a fun size episode.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Yes.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

For our first question of the episode.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We'Ve got some trivia for you about spooky music. Or as a ghost might call it, mooo sic.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I guess that's really more what a cow would call it.

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Which of the following songs did BBC Radio ban upon its release because the lyrics were seem to be too morbid. One of these songs was considered too morbid for BBC Radio when it came out. Was that song Thriller by Michael Jackson, Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett, Paranoid by Black Sabbath or Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Again, which song was too morbid for the BBC?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thriller, Monster Mash, Paranoid or Sympathy for the Devil?

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Elliot, just in case our audience is too scared to answer that question, why don't you tell them some more about Halloween?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

You've got it, producer Devin.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I want them to feel comfortable and safe.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I'm sure that many of our listeners.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Have experience with haunted houses.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Maybe you visited a haunted house.

Maybe you worked at a haunted house.

Maybe you're a ghost who's haunting a house right now. In which case, great work. Keep it up.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The world's oldest haunted house attraction is ye Haunted Cottage in England's Hollycombe park.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Which is celebrating its 110th year in operation.

Built in 1915, the cottage is a windowless structure about the size of a.

Train car where steam powered pumps rattle.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The floorboards and blast visitors with random bursts of air.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Accurately recreating the horror of my first New York City apartment. I'll Never forget you, 543 E. Fifth.

[Elliot Kaelin]

St. You or your terrible heating system.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Elliot, I don't know if we can be sued by a building, but just in case, maybe you better move on to the answer to our first question.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Right you are, producer Devin. To remind you again, your choices for songs banned by the BBC for its.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Morbid lyrics are Thriller by Michael Jackson.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett, Paranoid.

[Elliot Kaelin]

By Black Sabbath, and Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones. Well, those songs are all bangers.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Or as a ghost would say, booooo.

[Elliot Kaelin]

N ers, never mind.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

That sounds like boogers. Forget it.

Yeah, but the song the BBC banned.

Was actually Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Picket.

That's right, the song that is played.

For children now and Once at my wedding.

Apparently the British public of 1962, they just weren't ready for graveyard smashes. And yet, two years later, they were.

Totally fine with I want to hold your hand.

Nothing in the song says that hand.

Is still attached to anybody. The Beatles are carrying a severed hand around with them.

Listeners, did you get the answer right? If not, that's okay. Just tell everyone that your costume this.

Year is listener who didn't get the answer right now.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Monster mashups are also the theme of today's main game.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

We've taken the names of classic Halloween monsters and mashed them up with the.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Names of famous people to create six.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Terrifying abominations that are sure to make you scream in frustration if you can't think of their names in time.

For example, if I said this mischievous.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Imp wrote a hip hop musical telling.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

The life of Alexander Hamilton, the answer would be Goblin Manuel Miranda. Though I would also accept Gremlin Manuel Miranda.

Yes, that's how the questions will go. I'm gonna give you three questions now.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And then take a break, and then.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Three more questions after the break.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So our first monster mashup in a spooky Transylvanian castle. This actor, writer, director is really gone girl.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

He's given up hunting for goodwill and.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Has instead started hunting for blood.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Who is this celebrity monster mashup? And the answer, of course, is Ben Draculafleck. Rolls off the tongue. Ben Draculafleck. Now you get it. Audience, you understand what we're doing here?

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Yes, we're having a bit of fun for Halloween.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Look, we're having fun. It's Halloween.

Why? Be serious. Question number two.

A mad scientist brings to life a.

Monster cobbled together from characters from the.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Movies, Pitch Perfect, the remake of True.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Grit, Bumblebee, Sinners, and the TV series Hawkeye.

[Elliot Kaelin]

What does he call her?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

And the answer, of course, is Haley Frankensteinfeld. Hailey Frankensteinfeld. The next question, the last one for the first round, please don't go anywhere. You're gonna love this one. Question number three.

This comedy star has announced his engagement. He'll no longer be eastbound or down. He won't have to collect gemstones once he marries the creature from the previous question.

[Elliot Kaelin]

But he will change his name to.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I don't know if you're going to get it. The answer is Danny McBride of Frankensteinfeld.

That's right.

It was two. It was two. Not just Bride of Frankenstein. Bride of Frankensteinfeld. Danny McBride of Frankensteinfeld.

Now, that is the first round of.

What is officially my favorite game we've ever done.

Our second round of celebrity monsters is coming up.

But first, something really scary. A commercial.

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[Gorton's Seafood Advertiser]

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[Devin Tory Bryant]

Welcome back to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that takes a.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Licking and says please don't lick me.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Now turn out the lights and hide under the sheets because we've got three.

[Elliot Kaelin]

More terrifying celebrity monsters for you to identify. Question number one of Round two. So you could also call it question number four, but let's say number one. When the moon is full, this lycanthropic classical composer transforms into an infernal hound on the piano, pounding out hundreds of sonatas, serenades, and other little bits of so called night music.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

But he has to be careful that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

His fur doesn't get caught between the keys of the piano. Yes.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

And the answer is Werewolfgang Amadeus Mozart. That's right, Werewolf Gang Amadeus Mozart. I would have also accepted Wolf Man Amadeus Mozart.

Sure, it's a little farther off.

I would have accepted Wolfman Amadeus Mozart. I would not have accepted Wolfman Jack Amadeus Mozart. Kids, ask your grandparents to explain that joke to you.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

Seriously.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number two of Round two. If you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Biggest gift would be from the undead corpse of this Golden Girls actress. And the card attached would say Brains.

Brains.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Can you guess.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Okay, who is this undead Golden Girls actress monster? And the answer, of course, is Zombie Arthur. That's right, Zombie Arthur. And finally, that's my favorite question of my favorite game.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

I think it might be.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yeah, yeah, of course. Actually, no. My favorite. My favorite question of my favorite game might be the one coming up next. Because finally we have the final question of the game.

After relocating to California, this vampire.

It's another vampire.

This vampire finds himself thirsty not for blood, but love in the city of Compton, we hear learns they keep it rockin'.

They keep it rockin Keepin rockin. Thank you, Devin, for that. Thank you for explaining even more clearly what we're talking about. Who is this rappin vampire? The answer, of course, is Nosferat.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Tupac Shakur.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Nosferatu Pakistan Shakur.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

That's just good. That's just good work.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

That's just a missed opportunity is what it is. That shouldn't be a thing that exists.

In the world already.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

I agree.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Did you get the answers?

[Elliot Kaelin]

If so, I swear I will not toilet paper your house this year. No promises about next year, though. I see the sun has begun to rise, which means I should head back to my coffin.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Not because I'm a vampire. I just like brushing my teeth lying.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Down in the dark.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

But before I clean all this trick or treat candy off my molars, I'd.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Like to thank you, the listener, for.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Facing your fear and joining me on.

[Elliot Kaelin]

This midnight walk through the graveyard of games.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

And I'd like to remind you that season two will be here sooner than you think. In fact, it might be behind you right now.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Producer Devin.

Don't scare me like that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sorry.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I apologize to anyone listening on headphones. And I just shouted in your ears.

We'll be back next week with more Smartless presents Clueless. Until then, I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, reminding you that Halloween only comes once a year, but nobody can stop you.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Putting a face on a pumpkin anytime you feel like it. That's right.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

You don't need their permission.

[Unknown Guest or Voice Actor]

You don't. Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Brock Mahan. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow subscribe rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

Smart Bless Media.

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