180 - Satellites & Sandwiches (Mini Episode)

Summary

Episode Summary: “Satellites & Sandwiches” (Mini Episode)

Podcast: SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Host: Elliott Kalan
Producer/Co-Host: Devin Tory Bryant
Release Date: November 3, 2025
Episode #: 180
Length: ~12 min

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Main Theme & Purpose

This brisk and playful mini episode of ClueLess celebrates two seemingly unrelated milestones: the anniversary of the first dog in space and National Sandwich Day. Host Elliott Kalan blends quick trivia, wordplay, and his signature offbeat humor, competing against producer Devin Tory Bryant, while engaging listeners with clever puzzles and historical tidbits.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Mini Episode & Milestones

• Elliott welcomes listeners with his usual zany charm:

  “It’s the puzzle podcast that’s the product of science gone mad. I’m your host, Elliot Kaelin, and I’m more afraid of you than you are of me.” (01:00)

• Devin explains the reason for this “mini” episode, citing a delivery mishap for season 2, prompting Elliott to quip:

  “A Clueless mini. That’s my favorite kind of mini. Followed by mouse and golf.” (01:24)

2. Today's Historic Themes: Space Dogs & Sandwiches

• Elliott links the date to both the launch of Sputnik 2 and National Sandwich Day.
• He pokes fun at the conflation of dogs in space and sandwich history:

  “You’d be forgiven for assuming that they sent a dog into space in order to celebrate National Sandwich Day. No, that's not how it happened.” (01:36)

• Classic Kalan aside:

  “Dogs have flown much higher than you have. Crying babies you can still get mad at. No crying baby has ever gone into space that I know of.” (01:46)

3. Space Trivia: Laika & Fruit Flies

• Elliott poses two trivia questions:
  Who was the first dog in orbit?
  What was the first animal in space?
• He delivers a tongue-in-cheek “This Day in Clueless Mini History.” (02:27)
• Answers:
  • First dog in space: Laika ("which is Russian for barker or one who barks" (03:08))
  • First animals in space: fruit flies ("Launched... in 1947... probably didn’t even know that they’d been anywhere." (03:16))

4. Main Game: Word Sandwich Puzzles

• Transitioning from space to sandwiches, Elliott explains “Word Sandwich,” a puzzle craftily combining two phrases with a shared element.
• Devin provides an example:

  “A lunchtime item that might slowly pull you under in the jungle?”
  “Quicksandwich.” (07:33)

The Five Word Sandwich Clues:

• Clue 1: A car safety device meant for a couple
  Answer: “Love Seat Belt”
• Clue 2: Scottish woodwind instrument played by a pooch. And I’ll take that to go.
  Answer: “Doggy Bagpipe”
• Clue 3: An ocean invertebrate with a firearm
  Answer: “Shooting Starfish”
• Clue 4: A sweater that’s on loan. Take it for a spin
  Answer: “Rental Cardigan”
• Clue 5: A terrible way to light a dark room. In fact, it stinks.
  Answer: “Garbage Candle”

Explanation & Banter

• As answers are revealed, Elliott and Devin riff on the realities (or absurdity) of each phrase:

  “Has anyone ever sat as a couple in a loveseat? I’ve never seen it.” (09:06)
  “No issues with rental cardigan. Those are fine.” (10:20)
  “Please don’t shoot a starfish.” (10:15)

5. Memorable Quotes & Humor

• Elliott on naming conventions:

  “Once again, does anyone actually feed a dog out of a doggy bag? I'm taking issue with the whole concept of naming things.” (09:59)

• On running out of material:

  “Yeah, well, I’d love to keep talking, but I’ve got nothing else to say. It’s never stopped me before, but it should probably stop me now.” (11:07)

• On the joy of podcasting:

  “Before we go, however, I'd like to thank you, the listener, for giving me a reason to talk about space dogs and sandwiches.” (11:10)

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Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• Opening Silliness: Elliott’s existential take on ocean tides (00:26)
• Announcement of Special Milestones: (01:23)
• First Trivia Questions: (01:51)
• Reveal of Laika & Fruit Flies: (03:05)
• Sample Word Sandwich Puzzle (Quicksandwich): (07:33)
• Clue/Answer Recap Phrase Banter: (09:06–10:22)
• Elliott’s faux sign-off and gratitude: (11:12)

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Summary Table: Key Puzzles

| Clue | Answer | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------|--------------------|------------| | Car safety device for a couple | Love Seat Belt | 09:06 | | Scottish woodwind + pooch (“to go”) | Doggy Bagpipe | 09:31 | | Ocean invertebrate with a firearm | Shooting Starfish | 10:03 | | Sweater on loan (“take it for a spin”) | Rental Cardigan | 10:08 | | Terrible way/stinky way to light a room | Garbage Candle | 10:21 |

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Notable Quotes

• “In space, no one can hear you bark.” – Elliott Kaelin (03:10)
• “Mental health care can get complicated… RULA helps make therapy easy and affordable.” – Elliott Kaelin (04:25) (Sponsor section, included as Kaelin’s read, though can be omitted if desired)
• “Did you get the answers? If so, don’t be afraid to tell the world. The world may not care, but you can still tell it.” – Elliott Kaelin (11:10)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• The dialogue is breezy, witty, and fond of comedic asides. The episode is structured around rapid-fire trivia, playful interludes, and affectionate ribbing between host and producer.
• Elliott’s signature deadpan and meta-commentary keep even the simple puzzles engaging for listeners of all ages.

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Next Up

• Elliott and Devin tease the imminent return of full-length episodes:

  “We will be back next week with a full length episode of season two of Clueless. I’m so excited about it.” (11:17)

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For more bite-sized puzzles and witty banter, follow SmartLess Presents ClueLess wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Smart lettuce medium. Have you ever sat on the beach and watched the tide go in and out and in and out and in and out? It's like, make up your mind, man. This is Clueless.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clueless. I'm Clueless. This is Smartless presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's the product of science gone mad. I'm your host, Ellie Kaelin, and I'm more afraid of you than you are of me. Producer Devin, what special dish are we pushing today?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Well, Elliot, season two of Clueless was delivered to us yesterday. Yeah, I know. But unfortunately, we weren't home. Oh, I know. So now we have to ride out and pick it up at the sorting facility. So until we can do that, you'll be hosting another Clueless mini episode.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, boy. A Clueless mini. That's my favorite kind of mini. Followed by mouse and golf. Today we're celebrating two different milestones. The first dog in space and National Sandwich Day. Yum. You'd be forgiven for assuming that they sent a dog into space in order to celebrate National Sandwich Day. No, that's not how it happened. On November 3, 1957, the Soviet Union. Boo. Launched Sputnik 2, a spacecraft carrying the first dog ever to travel through space. So don't complain the next time you see there's a service dog on your flight. Dogs have flown much higher than you have. Crying babies you can still get mad at. No crying baby has ever gone into space that I know of. To start our show, I've got two good old fashioned trivia questions for you. Number one, what was the name of the first dog in orbit? And number two, this dog wasn't the first animal in space. Can you tell me what was?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Elliot, while the listeners are thinking about those questions and not looking up the answers online.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Don't do that.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Why don't you you tell them more about this day in history?

[Elliot Kaelin]

I'd be happy to. Producer Devin In a new segment entitled this day in Clueless mini history, the day was November 3rd, exactly zero years ago. And Clueless host Elliot Kaelin was about to make Clueless mini history by asking two mildly interesting space themed trivia questions. Those who heard the questions will never forget where they were that day. Or at least they haven't yet, because it was today and that was this day in Clueless mini history.

[Gorton's Seafood Announcer]

You know what?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Forget I said anything. Just tell us the answers to the questions.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, sir, Commandant. The answers are that the first dog in space was named Laika, which is Russian for barker or one who barks. A surprising name for a cosmonaut dog because as we all know, in space, no one can hear you bark. Yeah, and the first ever animals to travel in space were fruit flies. That's right. They launched a bunch of fruit flies into space back in 1947, where the fruit flies buzzed around, came back to Earth, probably didn't even know that they'd been anywhere. Maybe they noticed space doesn't have a lot of fruit in it. That's probably the kind of discovery that a fruit fly would make listeners. Did you get the answers? If not, that's okay, because the Supreme Court just overturned that result on appeal. So according to the highest court in the land, you did get the answer. We'll have our main game in just a minute, but until then, we're about to make history again with the first ever commercial break ever to come in the middle of this episode ever. Someday you'll tell your grandchildren you were here for it. Mental health care can get complicated, from trying to find the right therapist to dealing with out of pocket costs. But RULA helps make therapy easy and affordable. RULA partners with a network of over 15,000 licensed therapists to psychiatrists, enabling you to find the right therapist for your needs. They also take most major insurance plans and the average copay is only $15 a session. From medication management to appointment scheduling to monitoring your progress, RULA is committed to helping you reach your therapy goals. Thousands have already trusted RULA to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com clueless to get started today. After you sign up, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Go to R U L A dot com CLUELESS Again, that's R U L a dot com CLUELESS and take the first step towards better mental health. Today you deserve quality care from someone who cares.

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[Gorton's Seafood Announcer]

If there's one thing more important than the game, it's the snacks. That's why Gorton Seafood is bringing the ultimate crunch to game day. Try seafood sliders with our crispy fish fillets, or pair our popcorn shrimp with a sauce lineup for an appetizer everywhere every fan will love. Whether you're a sports super fan or just here for the snacks, Gorton's has the crunch to keep any crowd satisfied for game day. Visit Gordon's.com for game day recipes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome back to Smartless Presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast that says it eats its greens but really slips them under the table to the dog. It's also the puzzle podcast with a pet dog that likes greens. I was going to say, yeah, it's a strange dog, but it's our dog and we love him. We've heard enough about outer space today, so now let's learn about the exact opposite of outer space. Sandwiches. Yum. Today is National Sandwich Day, celebrating the birthday of John Montague, 4th Earl of Sandwich, the British noble who supposedly invented our favorite way to pile ingredients on each other so we can eat them with our hands. If the Earl of Sandwich is alive Today, he'd be 307 years old, so he is not alive today. There are three ways you can celebrate National Sandwich eat a sandwich, eat a British Earl not recommended, or play today's main game Word sandwich.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Take a couple phrases, jam them together. Your answer should be perfect down to the letter word.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sandwich. Yum. Here's how it works. I'll give you a hint to a phrase that's made up of two other words or phrases in which part of each word is is the same. Solve the clue by identifying the two parts that can be sandwiched together to make a new, hopefully clever or humorous phrase. So, for example, and staying on topic, if I said a lunchtime item that might slowly pull you under in the jungle, that would be a Devin, what's the answer?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Quicksandwich.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly right. You would take quicksand and sandwich, push them together, squish them all up, and get quicksandwich. So listeners at home Devin, do not answer these Sorry, can you. It's okay. I knew you were going to and I just wanted to make sure can you figure out these other word sandwich pairs? I'm going to go through them all once and then I'll give you the answers. Number one. A car safety device meant for a couple. A car safety device meant for a couple. Number two. Scottish woodwind instrument played by a pooch. And I'll take that to go. Scottish woodwind instrument played by a pooch. And I'll take that to go. Give you an extra moment for that. There's a lot to unpack in that clue. Clue number three. An ocean invertebrate with a firearm. An ocean invertebrate with a firearm. Clue number four. A sweater that's on loan. Take it for a spin. A sweater that's on loan. Take it for a spin. And number five. A terrible way to light a dark room. In fact, it stinks. A terrible way to light a dark room. In fact, it stinks. Perhaps literally, for this clue. Oh. Ready for the answers? If not, I'll wait a second. One. Okay, here are the answers. Clue number one. A car safety device meant for a couple. That is a love seat belt. It's like a love seat belt and a seat belt. A love seat belt. Has anyone ever sat as a couple in a love seat? I've never seen it.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

This is an interesting question. I don't.

[Elliot Kaelin]

People just use it as a big chair.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

It's one big chair.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, it's just one big chair. Exactly. How rare. How rare is it that an actual couple. It's so close.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

If you.

[Elliot Kaelin]

This is a seat for us.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

It's too close. Like, it's way too much intimacy to, like, eat a snack or, like, watch tv. You're just, like, jammed up against each other.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The other thing is, you can do that on a couch. Yeah. You just don't use all.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yeah, you scoot to the center.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, Exactly.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yep.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So let's. So the answer was love seat belt, But I have issues with the concept of a love seat belt. Totally. Clue number two. Scottish woodwind instrument played by a pooch. And I'll take that to go. That is, of course, a doggy bagpipe. Yes. Doggy bagpipe. Once again, does anyone actually feed a dog out of a doggy bag? I'm taking issue with the whole concept of naming things. Yeah, right. Apparently. But the answer for that one was doggy bagpipe. Question number three. An ocean invertebrate with a firearm. That is a shooting starfish. That one's shooting starfish.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

That one's all good. That can just go straight through.

[Elliot Kaelin]

All good. Except it's not really a fish. Devin.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

No, this is true.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Shooting starfish was the answer for number three. Number four. A Sweater that's on loan. Take it for a spin. That is a rental cardigan.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Nice.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Rental cardigan. No issues with either of those names?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Those are fine.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number five. Our final question. A terrible way to light a dark room. In fact, it stinks. That's a garbage candle. Yep. Garbage can and candle. Garbage candles. So the answers again for question one. Love seat and seat belt makes love seatbelt. Number two, doggy bag. And bagpipes. Makes doggy bagpipes. Number three, shooting star and starfish makes shooting starfish. Please don't shoot a starfish. And number four, rental cardigan. That's rental car and cardigan. Number five, garbage can and candle. For garbage candle. So, listeners, did you get the answers? If so, don't be afraid to tell the world. The world may not care, but you can still tell it. Yeah, well, I'd love to keep talking, but I've got nothing else to say. It's never stopped me before, but it should probably stop me now. Before we go, however, I'd like to thank you, the listener, for giving me a reason to talk about space dogs and sandwiches.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

And I'd like to remind you all that we'll be back literally next week with season two of Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Next week. We will be back next week with a full length episode of season two of Clueless. I'm so excited about it. That's Smartless presents Clueless, back next week in full force. Until then, I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and I'd like to give you a piece of my mind, but honestly, that'll get pretty messy.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Jason Reich. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Smart letters.

[Gorton's Seafood Announcer]

If there's one thing more important than the game, it's the snacks. That's why Gorton's seafood is bringing the ultimate crunch to game day. Try seafood sliders with our crispy fish fillets or pair our popcorn shrimp with a sauce lineup for an appetizer every fan will love. Whether you're a sports super fan or just here for the snacks. Gorton's has the crunch to keep any crowd satisfied for game day. Visit gortons.com for game day recipes.