Podcast Summary: SmartLess Presents ClueLess

Episode 209 – "A Hello To Arms/Odd One Out"

Guests: Janet Varney, John Hodgman
Host: Elliott Kalan
Date: January 5, 2026
Podcast Length: 10–12 minutes (core content, excluding ads)

Episode Overview

This lively episode of SmartLess Presents ClueLess features guests Janet Varney (actor, podcaster, SF Sketchfest co-founder) and writer/comedian John Hodgman joining host Elliott Kalan. The episode’s main theme is a set of clever wordplay and logic puzzles, focused around public domain trivia, acronyms, and word patterns. The puzzles spark quick-witted banter and comedic detours, making it as entertaining as it is brain-tickling. Varney and Hodgman’s chemistry shines as they solve Elliott’s original conundrums—with plenty of side jokes and memorable moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. SF Sketchfest Promotion & Guest Introductions

[01:23–03:58]

• Elliott welcomes Janet Varney and lightheartedly bumbles her introduction (“Janet… It's pronounced Jenny!” — Janet, [01:41]).
• Janet describes the upcoming 23rd SF Sketchfest, plugging shows like SmartLess, Bad Dates, Staying Alive, celebrity tributes, and “Mark Mothersbaugh with a red room orchestra” ([02:35]).
• John Hodgman jumps in to promote their podcast, E Pluribus Motto, and jokes:
  • "Once in real life, a bully of mine. But we’ve since buried the hatchet" — Elliott [03:14]
  • "I was your meta bully. My game was I was a nerd bullying another nerd… until I realized there’s really no difference between meta bullying and actual bullying." — John [04:15]
• The crew reminisces about a playful “shoe throwing incident,” highlighting the blurred line between meta comedy and real feelings ([05:05]).

2. Public Domain Puzzle — Opening Conundrum

[00:24–08:14]

• Elliott sets up the initial challenge: What links The Maltese Falcon, The Little Engine that Could, Animal Crackers, Georgia on My Mind, and Blondie?
  • "They're all from 1930 but that's not the connection I'm looking for." — Elliott [00:24]
• After some dead-end guesses and a comic Peter Lorre impression ("I think I can. I think I can..." — Elliott [07:02]), Elliott reveals the twist:
  • The Answer: All works entered the public domain in 2026.
  • “You can finally make a horror movie version of The Maltese Falcon... or Blondie... that's right, they're all in the public domain.” — Elliott [07:44]
• The group riffs on horror mashups: "Murder on the Little Engine that Could" (John, [08:14]), "Abraham Lincoln vs Animal Crackers" (Janet, [08:19]).

3. Game 1: A Hello To Arms

[10:02–16:14]

• Introduction: A wordplay game where answers include “ARM” in consecutive letters (ex: farmer).
• Notable banter:
  • “Do no farm first.” — John [11:01]
  • “Take that armor off. You're among friends. That's emotional armor.” — Janet [12:16]
• Sample Clues & Answers:
  • Something you wear: “Charm bracelet” (plus “armor” and “garment” accepted).
  • Animal with a leathery shell: “Armadillo” ([12:42])
  • What you should do before exercise: “Warmup” ([13:22])
  • Blues harp: “Harmonica” ([13:50])
  • Meat dish from a spit: “Shawarma” ([14:29])
  • Who Cinderella met at the ball: "Prince Charming" (joke: "Prince Dan Charming," [14:48])
  • Jewish boy’s 13th birthday: “Bar Mitzvah” (riffed comically as “barm,” [15:05])
  • Almost an accident: "Near miss" ([15:26])
  • Baloney with a first and last name: “Oscar Mayer” ([15:46])
  • Falling stock prices: “Bear market” ([15:57])
• The duo achieves a perfect score: “You got every single question right. That’s 10 out of 10.” — Elliott [15:58]

4. Game 2: Odd One Out

[17:43–27:09]

• Scenario: The original members of the boy band O Town are each bringing extra items to Disney’s Haunted Mansion. Which is the odd one in each group, and why?
• Notable exchanges:
  • “[Dan’s] not going to be able to bring the one thing that doesn’t have pockets. A mirror.” — Janet ([19:41])
• Sample Rounds & Solutions:
  1. Mirror, pool table, kangaroo, jeans: "Mirror" (no pockets; the rest have them).
  2. Pickle, banana, macadamia nut, calamari: "Pickle" (the others have three "A"s, [21:38]).
  3. Hornet, net, rocket, pin: "Pin" (the rest are NBA teams: Hornets, Rockets, Nets, [22:46]).
  4. Marker, billfold, basket, tomahawk: "Basket" (the others are common first names: Mark, Bill, Tom, [23:23]).
  5. Laser, radar gun, care package, meat: "Meat" (the rest are acronyms/initialisms: LASER, RADAR, CARE, [26:12]).
• Players use the “Sean Hayes rule”—if you guess right, you still get the point, even if you don't know why ([21:20]).

5. Mega Clue & Wrap-Up

[27:00–28:59]

• Final Puzzle: What links the items eliminated in the Odd One Out game? (Mirror, pickle, pin, basket, meat.)
  • “Can you add ‘ball’ to all of them?” — John [27:56]
  • Mirrorball, pickleball, pinball, basketball, meatball.
  • Elliott: “They left behind their balls. This is a family podcast. We’ll just move on…” ([27:58])
• Playful prize fake-out: “If you did as well... you’ve won an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii—all the expenses paid by you.” ([17:43])
• Elliott’s sign-off: “I don’t enter the public domain until the year 2077. Can’t wait to see what you do with me then.” ([28:59])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “meta” bullying:
  • "My game was I was a nerd bullying another nerd... until I realized there's really no difference between meta bullying and actual bullying." — John Hodgman [04:15]
• Peter Lorre impression (as The Little Engine That Could):
  • “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” — Elliott [07:02]
• “Sean Hayes Rule” of trivia:
  • "If you get the answer right but don’t know why, you still get the point." — Elliott [21:20]
• Wordplay and rapid-fire riffs:
  • "Take that armor off. You're among friends. That's emotional armor." — Janet [12:16]
  • "Can you add 'ball' to all of them?" — John [27:56]
  • "They left behind their balls. This is a family podcast." — Elliott [27:58]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:24] — Opening puzzle: Public domain works conundrum
• [01:23] — Janet Varney SF Sketchfest tribute and Hodgman introduction
• [05:05] — Elliott and John's "shoe incident" and meta bullying
• [07:44] — Public domain answer revealed
• [10:02] — Game 1: A Hello To Arms
• [14:29] — Shawarma (Middle Eastern dish clue)
• [15:46] — Oscar Mayer (baloney clue)
• [17:43] — Game 2: Odd One Out
• [19:41] — “Mirror” and the pocketless odd item joke
• [21:20] — The Sean Hayes trivia rule explained
• [22:46] — Pin is not an NBA team
• [23:23] — Names in "marker, billfold, basket, tomahawk"
• [26:12] — "Meat" not being an acronym
• [27:56] — "Can you add 'ball' to all of them?" Mega clue solved
• [28:59] — Elliott's public domain sign-off

Overall Tone & Style

Cheeky, fast-paced, and playful, filled with puns and good-natured ribbing. The trio demonstrates camaraderie and quick comedic timing, making the puzzle challenges as fun as they are challenging. The spirit is collaborative, and even “wrong” answers inspire laughter rather than embarrassment. The podcast’s signature is brainy comedy—a treat for word-lovers and trivia fans alike.

Takeaway

ClueLess episode 209 is a sharp, pun-filled romp through clever puzzles, delivered with warmth and wit by Elliott Kalan, Janet Varney, and John Hodgman. Whether you’re in it for the brain teasers, the jokes, or the pop culture riffs, this episode is a top-tier example of what makes ClueLess such a smart and enjoyable listen.