SmartLess Presents ClueLess
Episode 210 – "Take A Wild Guess/Tone Note"
Guests: Janet Varney & John Hodgman
Host: Elliot Kalan
Release Date: January 12, 2026
Episode Overview
In this zippy, laughter-filled episode of SmartLess Presents ClueLess, host Elliot Kalan welcomes returning guest duo Janet Varney and John Hodgman—co-hosts of E Pluribus Motto and mainstays of the San Francisco Sketchfest. Together, they face off in two signature ClueLess puzzle rounds: "Take a Wild Guess" and "Tone Note." Bursting with playful banter, surprising trivia, and a flurry of anagrams, this episode deftly blends sharp wit with brainteasing fun.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Welcoming the Guests and Festival Banter
- [01:26] Elliot exuberantly introduces Janet Varney and John Hodgman, promoting their festival, San Francisco Sketchfest, and referencing their podcast E Pluribus Motto.
- The hosts riff about comedy festivals' ethical standards and the longevity and variety of Sketchfest, with John joking about its morality:
“Not one penny goes to the Saudi government.” – John Hodgman [02:26]
- Janet details festival highlights, including a packed weekend of live SmartLess-related podcasts and guest stars (Jenny Slate, Adam Savage, Joel Kim Booster, others).
2. Getting Personal with Science Trivia
- [00:39 & 05:54] Elliot kicks off with a quirky science question: What percentage of your body mass is oxygen?
- Janet guesses, “99% air. 99% oxygen.” [06:12]
- John plays along: “Until I get some Gas-X, I would agree: 99%.” [06:32]
- Elliot reveals the truth: “The answer is 65%, which is still... more than half of your mass is oxygen. Because we're basically just waterbeds that can talk.” [06:38–06:44]
3. Game 1: Take a Wild Guess
- [08:24] Elliot introduces the guessing game focused on baby name rankings and off-the-cuff persuasion.
- Example puzzles:
- Ezra and Luna baby name popularity:
- Janet: “I’m gonna say [number] 45.” [09:58]
- John: “For some reason...35.” [10:30]
- Actual answer: “Number 13 on the list.” [10:35]
- Sara and Amir baby name popularity:
- John: “I’m gonna say nine.” [11:30]
- Janet (with dry wit): “I’m gonna say 45. Well, it’s my new unlucky number.” [12:35]
- Correct answer: “Actually number 95.” [12:43]
- Both contestants end the round tied with one point each.
- Ezra and Luna baby name popularity:
4. Game 2: Tone Note (Anagrams Challenge)
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[13:45] Elliot presents a classic ClueLess anagrams game. Each clue’s answer is a two-word anagram pair.
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Example clues and lively exchanges:
- Q: Someone who can’t stand our planet
- John: “Earth hater.” [14:43]
- Q: What astronaut superheroes might wear?
- John (after much joking): “Space capes.” [15:44]
- Q: Get up, your majesty
- Janet (eureka moment): “Rise, sire!” [16:54]
- Q: An opponent with millions of views on the Internet
- John: “Viral.” / Janet: “Viral rival.” [17:51]
- Q: A running contest on a parcel of land measuring 4840 square yards
- Janet: “Race acre.” [18:14]
- Q: Most polite bug
- Janet (after looping attempts): “Nicest insect.” [19:33]
- Q: A threat to watch out for when working in the yard
- Janet: “Garden danger.” [19:54]
- Q: Take a high ranking army officer and make them bigger
- Elliot hints at “enlarge” / John & Janet: “Enlarge general.” [21:44]
Episodic banter and collaborative energy are at their peak — the duo often stumbles onto answers by building off of each other's ideas, riffing far beyond the questions.
- Q: Someone who can’t stand our planet
5. Mega Clue: The Fiendish Finale
- [22:15] The “Mega Clue” requires using the first letters of each prior answer to form another anagram pair based on Elliot’s clue.
- Letters: E, S, R, V, A, N, G, E
- Clue: Puts an inscription on a group of superheroes?
- Janet & John quickly realize: “Engraves Avengers.” [23:22]
- Evanescent wordplay meets Marvel charm; Elliot quips this would be a disappointing Avengers storyline.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On festival ethics and comedy culture:
“This is one comedy festival you’re not gonna have to go on an apology tour once you agree to perform there.” – John Hodgman [02:13]
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On popular names:
“The age of Sarah has ended. This is the age of Luna. The times have changed.” – Elliot Kalan [12:57]
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Anagrams banter:
Janet: “A kind dink. By the way, we had a real dink.”
Elliot (delighted by the nonsense): “It’s that time of year when the dinks get in your house.” [18:46–19:00] -
On bantering teamwork:
“Teamwork. Children should listen to that. To see what it’s like to cooperate and work together.” – Elliot Kalan [17:57]
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On the frustration of anagrams:
“I like to dance around a thing and never get it. Never touch it.” – Janet Varney [19:17]
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On the show’s surreal close:
“Before you leave the sweet embrace of Morpheus and we who are but ethereal illusions... melt away in the cruel light of day, I’d like to thank our guests... for being dreams come true...” – Elliot Kalan [23:55]
Important Game Segments & Timestamps
- [00:39] – Opening science trivia (oxygen in the body)
- [01:26] – [05:54] – Guest introductions & San Francisco Sketchfest plug
- [08:24] – [12:56] – "Take A Wild Guess" game (baby name popularity)
- [13:45] – [22:00] – "Tone Note" (anagrams) and rapid-fire, joke-laden clue solving
- [22:13] – [23:55] – Mega Clue finale: the "Engraves Avengers" reveal
Tone & Style
The overall spirit is buoyant, silly, and quick-witted, weaving actual trivia with comedic detours and affectionate ribbing between seasoned improvisers. Elliot’s quirky enthusiasm, Janet’s energetic goofiness, and John’s dry, erudite humor create a dynamic, genuinely engaging challenge atmosphere.
For Listeners Who Missed the Episode
This episode of ClueLess is a perfect showcase of why puzzle podcasts can be so fun even for the non-competitive. There are quick-fire games based on logic, trivia, and language play, layered with sharp asides and in-jokes about comedy, pop culture, and festival camaraderie. If you like your brainteasers with a shot of absurd banter and collaborative, game-show silliness, this is a jam-packed 10 minutes you’ll want to revisit.