Podcast Summary: "SmartLess Presents ClueLess"

Episode 211 - Breaking The Law/Linkuistics (w/ Janet Varney and Neil Patrick Harris)
Release Date: January 19, 2026
Host: Elliot Kalan

Episode Overview

This lively installment of "SmartLess Presents ClueLess" brings together two sharp-witted guests—actor and podcaster Janet Varney and the ever-versatile Neil Patrick Harris—for a rapid-fire round of legal trivia and word chain puzzles. The main themes revolve around bizarre state laws, word-based games, and the playful dynamic between the guests, all hosted with Elliot Kalan’s signature blend of humor and curiosity.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Fun and Games With the Law

• Icebreaker: Elliot poses an unusual question based on his “bad roommate”-turned-ghost story:
  Main Question: “According to New York law, can I sue over an unlisted ghost?” (00:30)
  • Guests banter about ghosts as roommates; Neil riffs as Janet’s "British child ghost."
  • Legal Answer: YES, referencing Stambovsky v. Ackley (the so-called "Ghostbusters Ruling"), New Yorkers can sue if sold a haunted house undisclosed by the seller.
  • Notable quote:
    • Elliot: “The answer is yes. You can… thanks to the 1991 case Stambovsky v. Ackley…commonly called the Ghostbusters ruling…” (04:33)

2. “Breaking the Law” Game

(Bizarre Laws by State—Identify the Relevant State)

• Question 1: No chumming water with canned corn to attract fish.

  • Guest Reasoning: Portlandia reference had them debating Oregon, but won by overthinking.
  • Correct Answer: Oregon.
  • Notable exchange:
    • Janet: “How many times did the canned corn thing happen where then someone said, ‘this is an outrage. We have to put this on the books.’” (08:20)

• Question 2: Passing off margarine as butter during this state’s famed caucus—a felony?

  • Correct Answer: Iowa.
  • Both guests notice possible “corn” theming in the questions and joke about “corn meta puzzles.”
  • Notable exchange:
    • Neil: “Wouldn’t it be corny if he did that?” (10:01)

• Question 3: Illegal for visitors to take selfies with big cats at the Bronx Zoo unless separated by a barrier.

  • Answer: New York.
  • Further jokes about looking for the “corn connection.”
  • Elliot: “Don’t worry too much about the Khorne connection for this one.” (11:21)

• Question 4: $75 fine for releasing 10+ helium balloons in 24 hours (clue: Yale graduation).

  • Answer: Connecticut.
  • Guests brainstorm New Jersey and Connecticut, producer chimes in with “Corneticut.”
  • Notable moment:
    • Producer Devin: “Corneticut.” (13:27)

• Question 5: Railroad operators liable for damage from horses spooked by train noise on Amtrak's Palmetto Line.

  • Answer: South Carolina.
  • Guests joke about North/South state names and inventing “Palmetto bug” facts.
  • Notable banter:
    • Neil: “A Carolina, A Carolina.” (14:44)

• Bonus Puzzle:

  • Take postal abbreviations for the states (OR, IA, NY, CT, SC) and rearrange to spell the capital of a state where gambling is legal and hula hooping on Fremont St. is forbidden.
  • Answer: Carson City, Nevada.
  • Fun moment:
    • Janet, after several wrong guesses: “Snorak City. Ransk City.”
    • Neil: “Carson City. Carson City, Nevada.” (16:19)

3. Lighthearted Takeaways on Legal Silliness

• Guests riff on committing “corn crimes,” state-specific legal oddities, and the lack of corn affiliation in Batman villains.
  • Notable humorous moment:
    • Neil: “If Batman has a corn themed villain…he’s like, you know what? Just keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not going to stop you.” (17:26)

4. "Lingqistics" Game (Word Chain Competition)

(Word chains by guessing the second word based on its first letter)

• Format: Host names a word and the first letter of the next; contestants keep the chain going.
• Starting word: Table
  • Table → Tennis (T) → Court (C, O, U) → Courtroom → Room Service → Service Animal → Animal Control → Control Panel → Panel Discussion → Discussion Board → Board Game → Game Night → Night Light → Lighthouse → House Party
• Guests alternate answers, sometimes helping each other; playful rivalry emerges.
• Score: Neil: 8, Janet: 6 (but the score becomes moot when a Mega Clue is introduced worth "ten hundred points").
• Notable banter:
  • Elliot: “You turned a competitive game into a cooperative game. You really turned the tables on me…” (26:02)
  • Janet: “AKA Discussion Boy.” (31:05)
• Producer cameo:
  • Devin beats in with sound effects and playful host interjections.

5. "Mega Clue" Final Challenge

(Connect the last word “party” back to the first word “table” in three or fewer steps)

• 60-second challenge.
• Neil attempts: Party pooper → Pooper scooper → (but no “scooper table” exists).
• Janet’s route: Table → Poker table → Strip poker → (blocked at "strip").
  • Both joke and build comedic, not-quite-right chains: “Party comic,” “Party time times table.”
• Host offers example: “Party down → Downturn → Turntable.” (30:03)
• Janet declared the winner for creative effort.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Elliot:
  • “This is ClueLess.” (00:30)
  • “As we’ve established, you both have guest star amnesia…” (03:23)
• Neil Patrick Harris:
  • (In character) “Mummy, may I play with your lighter?” (02:20)
  • “Don’t say tennis corn, Janet." (19:53)
• Janet Varney:
  • “You are trying to shoe corn in New Jersey.” (12:37)
  • “Game Naughty. That’s my favorite type.” (24:46)
• Producer Devin:
  • “Today’s episode is brought to you by the concept of a triangle. That’s right. Circles have no sides and squares have too many.” (27:22)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Episode Premise, Ghost Laws & Introductions: 00:30–04:55
• "Breaking The Law" Puzzle Game: 06:26–15:36
  • State law questions segmented with transitions each ~2 min
• Bonus State Capitals Puzzle: 15:36–16:44
• Wrap-up Discussion on State Crimes: 17:03–17:55
• "Lingqistics" (Word Chain Game): 17:55–26:31
• "Mega Clue" Final Challenge: 26:31–30:10
• Playful Outro, Credits, and Banter: 30:10–32:09

Tone & Style

• Playful, Quick-Witted, and Lighthearted: The rapport between Elliot, Janet, and Neil relies on wordplay, improv, and self-aware humor that matches the podcast’s breezy, game-show vibe.
• Encouraging, Inclusive, and Irreverent: Listeners are nudged to play along, not to “turn to crime,” except maybe obscure corn-based infractions.

Conclusion

Episode 211 of "ClueLess" is a fast-paced showcase of odd legal trivia and clever linguistics games, highlighted by friendly guest competition and comedic digressions. With notable segments on haunted houses, corn-themed legal conspiracies, and inventive wordplay, the episode continues the show's legacy of being a fun escape for puzzle lovers and comedy fans alike.

Memorable closing line:
Elliot: "Where’d you get all that time you spent anyway? You didn’t steal that time, did you? Oh, listeners, listeners, we have to have a real talk after this. For shame." (31:05)

Recommended For:
Puzzle enthusiasts, trivia fans, and anyone who enjoys spirited banter with a side of legal oddities.