SmartLess Presents ClueLess

Episode 212: Leg Day/This Or That
Guests: Janet Varney & Neil Patrick Harris
Host: Elliot Kalan
Release Date: January 26, 2026

Episode Overview

This lively, puzzle-packed episode finds host Elliot Kalan challenging returning guests Janet Varney (actor, improviser, SF Sketchfest co-founder) and Neil Patrick Harris (actor, magician, all-around entertainer) with a series of witty word games and logic puzzles. The high-energy banter covers exercise oddities, wordplay on "leg," and the ridiculous overlap between perfume names and Scandinavian metal bands. While the focus is firmly on fun and comedic riffing, listeners are also given a taste of SF Sketchfest and the guests’ real-world collaborations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Exercise Class Conundrums (04:18–07:06)

• Premise of the puzzle: Elliot invents fake exercise names and asks Janet and Neil to sniff out the imposters from a real gym class list.
• The list: Alligator drags, Reverse Turkish get-up, Zercher squats, Hummingbird press, Drells, Tighten Up, Slobber.
• Game Play: Janet and Neil debate whether "slobber" and "hummingbird press" could possibly be real (classic fake-out!), and Neil reveals he’s actually done a Reverse Turkish get-up.
  • [05:17] Neil Patrick Harris: “I know that there is a reverse Turkish get up.”
  • [06:34] Elliot Kalan: “Nope, Slobber is a real thing… stands for supine lateral ball roll.”
• Solution:
  • Fake Exercises: Hummingbird press and Drells Tighten Up
  • Hilarity ensues over the Archie Bell & the Drells musical reference.

2. SF Sketchfest, Puppets, and Improv (02:03–04:01)

• Janet shares the legacy and upcoming plans for the renowned San Francisco Sketchfest.
  • [02:44] Janet Varney: “Twenty-five years ago. This will be our 23rd annual fest. Extra credit for figuring out why we skipped two years.”
• Details on puppet improv show "Puppet Up!" in partnership with the Henson Company, with both guests singing the praises of adult-oriented puppet comedy.
  • [03:35] Neil Patrick Harris: “What’s extra exciting about Puppet Up is you can see the performers on… like a proper R-rated Sesame Street sketch play out. It’s brilliant fun.”

3. "Leg Day" Word Game (09:02–12:41)

• Premise: Responses must be words or phrases containing the consecutive letters L-E-G (not pronounced “leg”).
• Sample clues & answers:
  • Where you go after high school → College
  • Looney Tunes rooster → Foghorn Leghorn
• Notable banter around pronunciation and word origins as the guests joyfully bungle and recover with clever answers.
  • [09:32] Janet Varney: “And that is how you have to pronounce it.”
  • [11:00] Neil Patrick Harris: “Foghorn Leghorn… Weirdly inappropriate to say it like that now, it seems.”
• Leg Game Answers with Timestamps:
  • Beans, lentils, or peas → Legume [09:52]
  • What you cough up with a cold → Phlegm [10:15]
  • Like the real deal → Legit [10:23]
  • Story with deeper meaning → Allegory [10:37]
  • Looney Tunes rooster → Foghorn Leghorn [10:59]
  • Early method for long-distance message → Telegraph [11:17]
  • Disrespect for sacred things → Sacrilegious [11:37]
  • Something to chew, blow, and pop → Bubble gum [11:52]
  • Fun fastener tool → Staple gun [12:21]
  • 2004 halftime scandal → Nipplegate [12:29]

4. The Main Game: This or That — “Doom or Perfume?” (13:19–25:26)

• Premise: Decide if a given name is a designer fragrance (Perfume) or a Swedish black metal band (Doom), with bonus points awarded for quick-witted explanations.
• Standout moments:
  • Guests riff on the crossover marketability of scents versus metal, including fake ads and jabs about “pure Metallica.”
  • [14:33] Elliot Kalan: “Are you ready to rock or smell?”
  • [21:31] Neil Patrick Harris: “We’re pure Blink 186!”
• Selected Doom or Perfume Answers with Timestamps:
  • Obsession → Perfume (Calvin Klein) [14:50]
  • Tribulation → Doom (band) [15:06]
  • Catatonia (with a K) → Doom (band) [15:46]
  • Drakkar Noir → Perfume [17:06]
  • Dark Tranquility → Doom (band) [17:37]
  • Dimension Zero → Doom (band) [19:05]
  • Pure Poison → Perfume (Dior) [20:22]
  • Antaeus → Perfume (Chanel) [22:33]
  • Edge of Sanity → Doom (band) [24:26]
  • Elixir → Perfume (by Rihanna) [25:07]
• Comedic digressions abound about “Blink 186,” fake band names, and perfume voiceovers.
  • [21:17] Janet Varney: “Happy to go with scents. I’ve been waiting to get back to scents for what seems like six clues now.”
  • [23:51] Neil Patrick Harris: “Fart, a new fragrance.”

5. The Mega Clue (26:01–28:10)

• Clue: “Elixir is the designer fragrance of a recording artist whose hits include ‘Man Down,’ ‘Hate that I love you,’ and ‘B___ Better Have My Money.’ Who is it?”
• Janet and Neil debate famous pop stars, landing first on Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Katy Perry.
• [27:28] Elliot Kalan: “Yeah, the answer is Rihanna.”
• Reflections on Rihanna’s stage presence and her “stank face” dancing.
  • [28:04] Neil Patrick Harris: “I loved it. It was so sexy.”
  • [27:37] Janet Varney: “Of course it is. And she's a total badass.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gym exercises:
  • [05:09] Janet Varney: “You want to say slobber’s wrong because it’s so outrageous. And I’m worried that’s a trick.”
• On puppet improv:
  • [03:35] Neil Patrick Harris: “…like a proper R-rated Sesame Street sketch play out. And with your suggestions, it’s brilliant fun.”
• On “Leg Day” puns and song stings:
  • [08:11] Elliot Kalan: “L to the E to the G. And that’s… You know what, I’m just gonna say it. Producer Devin who writes all of our music… he was right. It lived up to all the hype.”
• On the Doom or Perfume challenge:
  • [14:33] Elliot Kalan: “Are you ready to rock or smell?”
• On Pocket Scoring:
  • [25:49] Elliot Kalan: “Great work on that game. Unfortunately, I was having too much fun and did not do a good job of keeping score. So let’s say you did great. You did a fantastic.”
• On Mega Clue Reveal:
  • [27:28] Elliot Kalan: “Yeah, the answer is Rihanna.”
• On Closing:
  • [28:25] Elliot Kalan: “Guys, this has been such a fun episode, but the dental hygienist says if I don’t stop talking, they’re never going to get this cavity filled…”

Summary Table: Main Puzzle Segments

| Segment | Game Mechanic | Key Answers / Highlights | Timestamp | |----------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Exercise Class Puzzle | Spot the fake gym exercises | Fakes: Hummingbird Press, Drells Tighten Up | 04:18–07:06| | Leg Day | Words with consecutive “L-E-G” letters | College, phlegm, legit, allegory, Foghorn Leghorn, etc. | 09:02–12:41| | This or That: Doom/Perfume | Metal band name or perfume? | See above list | 13:19–25:26| | Mega Clue | Guess singer with fragrance "Elixir" | Rihanna | 26:01–28:10|

Tone

• High energy, self-aware humor: Elliot’s jokes, player riffing, and gentle roastings keep the mood bright.
• Warm rapport: Guests tease each other and the host while genuinely celebrating clever moves.
• Meta-commentary: Frequent jokes about the structure and writing of the show itself.

For Listeners

• Expect a rapid-fire, brain-teasing format with charming, nerdy humor and delightful sidetracks.
• If you like wordplay, puzzles, and Graham Norton-style playful celebrity banter, this episode is for you.
• For those curious about SF Sketchfest (or nightly adult puppet improv!), Janet and Neil’s insights are highlights.

Timestamps for Segments

• Intro & Exercise Puzzle: 00:39–07:06
• SF Sketchfest and Improv Discussion: 02:03–04:01
• Leg Day Game: 09:02–12:41
• Doom or Perfume (“This or That”): 13:19–25:26
• Mega Clue: 26:01–28:10
• Wrap-Up & Thank Yous: 28:25–End

“How much fun can three people have when nobody can see them? Turns out the answer is: a lot.”
— Elliot Kalan [28:25]