SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 217: "Take A Wild Guess / Tone Note"

Guests: Kristen Schaal & Matt Oberg
Host: Elliott Kalan
Release Date: March 9, 2026
Runtime: ~10-12 minutes (excluding ads)

Episode Overview

In this lively episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan is joined by returning contestants Kristen Schaal and Matt Oberg for a jam-packed round of stats-based trivia and anagrams. The show retains its signature quick-witted banter, light-hearted competitiveness, and left-field tangents—making even brainteasers sound hilarious. Kristen and Matt strive to maintain their title as top puzzle solvers, tackling the games "Take a Wild Guess" (stats guessing) and "Tone Note" (anagram pairs), and ultimately face the "Mega Clue" finale.

Key Discussion Points & Puzzle Segments

1. Opening Banter & Cat Ownership Statistics

• Topic: U.S. Households with Cats
• Elliott opens with a playful confession about his cat allergy and poses the question:
  • "According to the American Veterinary Medical Association's most recent data, which is from 2024, what percentage of U.S. households... own cats?" (03:14)
• Contestant Guesses:
  • Matt: 36%
  • Kristen: 31%
  • Answer: 32%, "nearly a third" (05:07)
  • Matt laments missing by just a bit, and Kristen jokes about “crazy cat ladies” and Toxoplasmosis, playfully speculating about “parasites in the brain from cat piss.” (05:31)

2. Take A Wild Guess (Stat Guessing Game)

• Game Mechanic: Guess the rank of a word on a list of the 100 most common words in English (based on Oxford English Corpus), then wager if the real answer is higher/lower.
• Notable Words & Moments:
  • “like”: Matt guesses #69, Kristen says higher. Actual: #54. (11:08–11:43)
    • Elliott: "You weren't that far off, but you were just far off enough that Kristen stole the point." (11:50)
    • Fun Fact: #69 is "see"
  • "what": Kristen guesses #8, Matt says even higher. Actual: #40. (12:20–12:50)
  • "people": Matt: #84, Kristen says lower (less popular). Actual: #61. Matt gets the point. (13:17–13:52)
    • Kristen: "I'm just noticing... we aren't saying 'people think this' anymore, we're labeling people now." (13:56)
  • "one": Kristen: #18, Matt says lower. Actual: #35. (15:12–15:42)
  • "two": Matt: #70, Kristen says lower. Actual: #84. (16:01–16:34)
  • "I": Kristen: #1, Matt says lower. Actual: #10. (17:03–17:42)
  • "no": Matt: #11, Kristen says lower. Actual: #56. (18:27–18:55)
• Witty Exchange:
  • Kristen muses about “the 35th is my favorite day of the calendar” when guessing "two." (16:22)
  • Matt: “Our culture’s so balkanized that no one uses 'people.'” (14:11)
• Final Score: Kristen 4, Matt 3 (19:14)

3. Results: Most/Least Common English Words

• The 100th most common: "us"
• The most common: "the" (20:27–20:41)
  • Elliott: "We rigged the game by not putting 'the' in there since we knew that Matt knew that word really well." (20:48)
  • Joking about changing the most common word as a nation.

4. Tone Note (Anagram Game)

• How it Works: Given a clue for a two-word phrase, both words must be anagrams of each other.
• Examples & Answers:
  • "Consumes a chair" → EAT SEAT (22:28)
    • Matt: “Maybe after this, we can go eat a bite—we’re looking for eat seat.” (23:09)
  • "Bought some winter precipitation" → SNOWS OWNS (24:03–24:33)
    • Kristen: "If you bought it—so you own it... Owns."
  • "Pulls on intestines" → TUGS GUTS (25:07)
    • Kristen (quickly): "Tug guts."
  • "A dirty room for reading and writing" → DUSTY STUDY (25:41–26:10)
    • Matt (sing-song): "A dusty study."
  • "Sneeze at this location for an art exhibit" → ALLERGY GALLERY (26:36–26:43)
    • Matt: "Very good! Allergy gallery."
  • "Hose down a loud warning device" → SIREN RINSE (26:58–28:20)
    • The duo struggle until Elliott hints “like if there’s an air raid...?” Kristen: "SIREN." Elliott: "SIREN RINSE."
  • "Remember a basement" → RECALL CELLAR (28:49–28:55)
    • Matt: "Recall cellar."
  • "Gave props to something babies need" → PRAISED DIAPERS (29:10–30:50)
    • Kristen/Matt: "Praised diapers." Elliott: "Just like the Fatboy Slim song, 'I like to praise diapers like I should.'" (30:47)
  • "Drums faster than the speed of sound" → SUPERSONIC PERCUSSION (31:18–32:00)
    • Matt (gets it): "Supersonic percussion."
    • Kristen pleads: “Can you let listeners know we don’t have pens or paper?” Elliot: “You can have pens or paper—I should have made that clear.” (32:12–32:21)

5. Mega Clue (Anagram Finale)

• Mechanic: Use the first letter of each Tone Note answer, rearrange them for a new two-word anagram, and answer a riddle.
• Letters: E, O, T, D, A, R, R, P, S
• Clue: "What an iconic movie monster cries after hunting humans for sport." (35:23)
• Answer: PREDATORS TEARDOPS (36:38)
  • Matt & Kristen: "Predators teardrops."
  • Elliott: “That’s exactly right. I’m impressed.”
  • Matt: "That was Kristen all on her own." (36:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Elliott:

  • "Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's fat free, zero calories and not food." (01:30)
  • “I can't be around cats... I hate to be rude, but I hate not breathing more.” (00:39)
  • “100% of American households have people in them. Where are people getting all these people? This is crazy.” (05:12)

• Kristen Schaal:

  • “Please come see [my show]. People who have seen it said, good job.” (02:33)
  • “I'm just noticing... we're labeling people now.” (13:56)
  • “In our brains—we have no... like, I'm a visual learner and this is hurtful for me.” (32:21)
  • After the Tone Note game: “That was really good.” (32:04)

• Matt Oberg:

  • “I think there's more people with cats than dogs...” (04:37)
  • “You said that you're smart... I'm gonna reveal it to myself that I'm not as smart as I think I am.” (23:41)
  • On the word "people": “Our culture so balkanized that no one uses people.” (14:11)
  • Guessing 'like': “I wonder if this is written words or spoken words because we all say, like, way too much and that would increase it on the ranking.” (10:47)
  • “A Mach 2 Kunga. No... Percussion? Supersonic.” (31:18–32:00)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Cat ownership puzzle & banter: 00:39–05:07
• Wild Guess/Phrase ranking game: 08:11–19:14
• Common English words revealed: 20:08–21:18
• Tone Note (anagram pairs): 21:34–33:35
• Mega Clue (final anagram challenge): 33:38–36:38

General Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is lighthearted, quick-paced, and full of improvisational asides. There’s genuine camaraderie (and occasional good-natured ribbing) between the host and guests, with recurring inside jokes (about cat allergies, the shame of guessing "69", or Matt’s headphones). The games themselves maintain a relaxed, anything-goes vibe, where wild guesses, silly explanations, and giggly tangents are just as important as getting the puzzle right.

Useful for New Listeners?

Absolutely—this episode distills what's best about ClueLess: fun trivia, inventive wordplay, and sharp, spontaneous humor from some of the most talented comedic minds in podcasting. Even if you hate crosswords, you’ll have fun just listening to these three play.

Recommended Segments

• Witty banter on English word frequency & society’s changing language: 13:56–14:16
• The 'Praised Diapers' musical riff: 30:47
• Mega Clue resolution and gentle bragging: 36:37

Summary by: SmartLess ClueLess Podcast Summaries
Episode link: SmartLess Presents ClueLess – 217: Take A Wild Guess/Tone Note (w/ Kristen Schaal & Matt Oberg)