217 - Take A Wild Guess/Tone Note (w/ Kristen Schaal and Matt Oberg)

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess – Episode 217: "Take A Wild Guess / Tone Note"

Guests: Kristen Schaal & Matt Oberg
Host: Elliott Kalan
Release Date: March 9, 2026
Runtime: ~10-12 minutes (excluding ads)

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan is joined by returning contestants Kristen Schaal and Matt Oberg for a jam-packed round of stats-based trivia and anagrams. The show retains its signature quick-witted banter, light-hearted competitiveness, and left-field tangents—making even brainteasers sound hilarious. Kristen and Matt strive to maintain their title as top puzzle solvers, tackling the games "Take a Wild Guess" (stats guessing) and "Tone Note" (anagram pairs), and ultimately face the "Mega Clue" finale.

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Key Discussion Points & Puzzle Segments

1. Opening Banter & Cat Ownership Statistics

• Topic: U.S. Households with Cats
• Elliott opens with a playful confession about his cat allergy and poses the question:
  • "According to the American Veterinary Medical Association's most recent data, which is from 2024, what percentage of U.S. households... own cats?" (03:14)
• Contestant Guesses:
  • Matt: 36%
  • Kristen: 31%
  • Answer: 32%, "nearly a third" (05:07)
  • Matt laments missing by just a bit, and Kristen jokes about “crazy cat ladies” and Toxoplasmosis, playfully speculating about “parasites in the brain from cat piss.” (05:31)

2. Take A Wild Guess (Stat Guessing Game)

• Game Mechanic: Guess the rank of a word on a list of the 100 most common words in English (based on Oxford English Corpus), then wager if the real answer is higher/lower.
• Notable Words & Moments:
  • “like”: Matt guesses #69, Kristen says higher. Actual: #54. (11:08–11:43)
    • Elliott: "You weren't that far off, but you were just far off enough that Kristen stole the point." (11:50)
    • Fun Fact: #69 is "see"
  • "what": Kristen guesses #8, Matt says even higher. Actual: #40. (12:20–12:50)
  • "people": Matt: #84, Kristen says lower (less popular). Actual: #61. Matt gets the point. (13:17–13:52)
    • Kristen: "I'm just noticing... we aren't saying 'people think this' anymore, we're labeling people now." (13:56)
  • "one": Kristen: #18, Matt says lower. Actual: #35. (15:12–15:42)
  • "two": Matt: #70, Kristen says lower. Actual: #84. (16:01–16:34)
  • "I": Kristen: #1, Matt says lower. Actual: #10. (17:03–17:42)
  • "no": Matt: #11, Kristen says lower. Actual: #56. (18:27–18:55)
• Witty Exchange:
  • Kristen muses about “the 35th is my favorite day of the calendar” when guessing "two." (16:22)
  • Matt: “Our culture’s so balkanized that no one uses 'people.'” (14:11)
• Final Score: Kristen 4, Matt 3 (19:14)

3. Results: Most/Least Common English Words

• The 100th most common: "us"
• The most common: "the" (20:27–20:41)
  • Elliott: "We rigged the game by not putting 'the' in there since we knew that Matt knew that word really well." (20:48)
  • Joking about changing the most common word as a nation.

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4. Tone Note (Anagram Game)

• How it Works: Given a clue for a two-word phrase, both words must be anagrams of each other.
• Examples & Answers:
  • "Consumes a chair" → EAT SEAT (22:28)
    • Matt: “Maybe after this, we can go eat a bite—we’re looking for eat seat.” (23:09)
  • "Bought some winter precipitation" → SNOWS OWNS (24:03–24:33)
    • Kristen: "If you bought it—so you own it... Owns."
  • "Pulls on intestines" → TUGS GUTS (25:07)
    • Kristen (quickly): "Tug guts."
  • "A dirty room for reading and writing" → DUSTY STUDY (25:41–26:10)
    • Matt (sing-song): "A dusty study."
  • "Sneeze at this location for an art exhibit" → ALLERGY GALLERY (26:36–26:43)
    • Matt: "Very good! Allergy gallery."
  • "Hose down a loud warning device" → SIREN RINSE (26:58–28:20)
    • The duo struggle until Elliott hints “like if there’s an air raid...?” Kristen: "SIREN." Elliott: "SIREN RINSE."
  • "Remember a basement" → RECALL CELLAR (28:49–28:55)
    • Matt: "Recall cellar."
  • "Gave props to something babies need" → PRAISED DIAPERS (29:10–30:50)
    • Kristen/Matt: "Praised diapers." Elliott: "Just like the Fatboy Slim song, 'I like to praise diapers like I should.'" (30:47)
  • "Drums faster than the speed of sound" → SUPERSONIC PERCUSSION (31:18–32:00)
    • Matt (gets it): "Supersonic percussion."
    • Kristen pleads: “Can you let listeners know we don’t have pens or paper?” Elliot: “You can have pens or paper—I should have made that clear.” (32:12–32:21)

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5. Mega Clue (Anagram Finale)

• Mechanic: Use the first letter of each Tone Note answer, rearrange them for a new two-word anagram, and answer a riddle.
• Letters: E, O, T, D, A, R, R, P, S
• Clue: "What an iconic movie monster cries after hunting humans for sport." (35:23)
• Answer: PREDATORS TEARDOPS (36:38)
  • Matt & Kristen: "Predators teardrops."
  • Elliott: “That’s exactly right. I’m impressed.”
  • Matt: "That was Kristen all on her own." (36:56)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Elliott:

  • "Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's fat free, zero calories and not food." (01:30)
  • “I can't be around cats... I hate to be rude, but I hate not breathing more.” (00:39)
  • “100% of American households have people in them. Where are people getting all these people? This is crazy.” (05:12)

• Kristen Schaal:

  • “Please come see [my show]. People who have seen it said, good job.” (02:33)
  • “I'm just noticing... we're labeling people now.” (13:56)
  • “In our brains—we have no... like, I'm a visual learner and this is hurtful for me.” (32:21)
  • After the Tone Note game: “That was really good.” (32:04)

• Matt Oberg:

  • “I think there's more people with cats than dogs...” (04:37)
  • “You said that you're smart... I'm gonna reveal it to myself that I'm not as smart as I think I am.” (23:41)
  • On the word "people": “Our culture so balkanized that no one uses people.” (14:11)
  • Guessing 'like': “I wonder if this is written words or spoken words because we all say, like, way too much and that would increase it on the ranking.” (10:47)
  • “A Mach 2 Kunga. No... Percussion? Supersonic.” (31:18–32:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Cat ownership puzzle & banter: 00:39–05:07
• Wild Guess/Phrase ranking game: 08:11–19:14
• Common English words revealed: 20:08–21:18
• Tone Note (anagram pairs): 21:34–33:35
• Mega Clue (final anagram challenge): 33:38–36:38

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General Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is lighthearted, quick-paced, and full of improvisational asides. There’s genuine camaraderie (and occasional good-natured ribbing) between the host and guests, with recurring inside jokes (about cat allergies, the shame of guessing "69", or Matt’s headphones). The games themselves maintain a relaxed, anything-goes vibe, where wild guesses, silly explanations, and giggly tangents are just as important as getting the puzzle right.

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Useful for New Listeners?

Absolutely—this episode distills what's best about ClueLess: fun trivia, inventive wordplay, and sharp, spontaneous humor from some of the most talented comedic minds in podcasting. Even if you hate crosswords, you’ll have fun just listening to these three play.

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Recommended Segments

• Witty banter on English word frequency & society’s changing language: 13:56–14:16
• The 'Praised Diapers' musical riff: 30:47
• Mega Clue resolution and gentle bragging: 36:37

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Summary by: SmartLess ClueLess Podcast Summaries
Episode link: SmartLess Presents ClueLess – 217: Take A Wild Guess/Tone Note (w/ Kristen Schaal & Matt Oberg)

Transcript

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[Kristen Schaal]

Smart less media.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Normally we stay out of politics at Clueless, we lost enough listeners when I officially endorsed Steve Buscemi for president. But I'm gonna start the show by saying something controversial. I can't be around cats not because they're lazy or always steal on my lasagna or hate Mondays. That's really just one cat that that describes. I can't be around cats because I am allergic to them. If you have a cat in your home, you will not have me in your home. I hate to be rude, but. But I hate not breathing more. So I have a question for you. According to the American Veterinary Medical Association's most recent data, which is from 2024, what percentage of US households will I never set foot in because they own cats? We'll both find out on today's episode of Clueless.

[World of Warcraft Advertiser]

Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clueless.

[Kristen Schaal]

I'm Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's fat free, zero calories and not food. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, winner of the nobelliot prize in the field of being. Elliot. It's the most prestigious prize Elliott's gonna be given. Please join me in welcoming today's guest. Two people I am proud to call close personal contestants, Kristen Schall and Matt Obert. Thank you so much for joining us today.

[Matt Oberg]

Happy to be here. Thanks for having us. We're returning champions.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So that's. Yeah.

[Kristen Schaal]

You said we were the best players you've ever had.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You are 100% players right now. Matt and Kristin on their previous episode got 10 out of 10 and 5 out of 5 and the megaclue. They got there through persistence, hard work, doing their best to remember what the questions were. Sometimes needing a little bit of help with that, but not always needing a little bit of help. And before we get to our first question, Kristen, I believe you have a a show coming up in person that you would like to just remind us about the dates of. When is your show gonna be up on stage?

[Kristen Schaal]

Thank you, Elliot. My show is going to be up on May 7 and May 8 at Dynasty Typewriter at 7pm for the Netflix is a Joke Festival. And then also we will be performing May 12 at Largo. The show is called the Legend of Crystal Shell, and it is about a centaur who confronts her horse dad. There is music in it, Devin. So that's why I feel like we were connecting. And it's really fun. Please come see it. People who have seen it said, good job.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I am planning to attend one of those performances. I don't know which one yet, but I'm definitely. I've been hearing nothing but really good things about it. So I really wanna see it from me. Mostly from Kristen. Mostly from Kristen. Now, one of the things I'm working on in therapy right now is not being afraid to state my needs. So I'll just say this clearly. I need you to answer today's opening question. Can you tell me what percentage of US Households own cats?

[Kristen Schaal]

Okay. Well, okay. This is fun. I was thinking about how much. How many ads I see for cat food. And it's a lot. So the cat food industry is strong. The kitty litter industry is strong.

[Matt Oberg]

It's interesting that the algorithm just assumes you have a cat.

[Kristen Schaal]

No, I'm not. I'm talking about just in the world, like on TV and stuff.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Bus ads, guys with sandwich boards. There's a lot of cat food. And cat.

[Matt Oberg]

Cats get your litter here.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah. So that tells me that the supply is meeting a bigger demand. Right, Great. So then also cats are little and people can. And they, like, mind their own business. So people who have to go to work are like, oh, I want a pet, but I can't take a needy dog. I'll just take this asshole cat.

[Matt Oberg]

Asshole cat.

[Kristen Schaal]

So there's that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So if you were gonna give it a number. Percentage. Yeah, what percentage? And you can just take a. Take a shot in the dark. What number percent?

[Matt Oberg]

Okay. I think it's higher. I think there's more people with cats than dogs. I think that. Yeah, I'm gonna lock in with 36% of households.

[Kristen Schaal]

So let's meet in the middle. Since we're on a team, let's have

[Matt Oberg]

two different answers and see who is my wife.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Okay. Okay. Well, I think meeting in the middle would have been a great strategy because the answer is 32%. You were both just circling around it. You were so close.

[Matt Oberg]

You said 28.

[Kristen Schaal]

I think I said 31.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Wait a minute. We'll have to check the stenographer on them. It's 25. So more than a. Or nearly a third of American households have cats in them. What's even more amazing, get this statistic. This is a crazy statistic. 100% of American households have people in them. Where are people getting all these people? This is crazy.

[Kristen Schaal]

Do the crazy cat ladies like. Like they get, like, parasites in their brain from cat piss, right?

[Matt Oberg]

That's only a story.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah.

[Kristen Schaal]

Is this not true? Am I spreading lies on your show?

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's okay. It's okay. We have a tenuous relationship with the truth on this show anyway, so it's all right. I've heard that story. You know what I'm talking about?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, no, I've heard about that. I think that's male scientists trying, like, telling women that they're crazy. Like, these women are fine. They love their cat. Like, leave them alone. Okay, okay. But raccoon scat, on the other hand. That'll kill you.

[Kristen Schaal]

Is it true?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yep.

[Matt Oberg]

Don't handle it, especially if you're pregnant out there. Ladies, I can't say this enough. Stop touching raccoon poop.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The thing is, when you're pregnant, those hormones are just firing. So you want. It's just driving. Compelling you to touch raccoon poop.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Just one of those cravings.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's not you anymore. It's the bab.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners, did you get the answer to our question? If not, you might not be getting enough vitamin P for puzzles. You need to eat more mysterious food. And while you're adjusting your diet appropriately, it's Time for us to play today's first game. This game is called take a wild guess.

[Kristen Schaal]

Ah, they're too short.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's the thing. When producer Devin releases his album of songs, it's only going to be about a couple minutes long. You know, there'll be like, 30 songs on it.

[Matt Oberg]

Vocal needs to be higher in the mix, too. If you ever redo it.

[Kristen Schaal]

I just. I can already sing. The brain.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Shots fired.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's now, it's now, it's now, it's now wild.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Like they get make it wild and make a really big. And there's a really big drop after that. Like, it's really building.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Kristen Schaal]

You know what people like in songs,

[Elliot Kaelin]

Devin, Tell me, what are we playing?

[Kristen Schaal]

Surprise.

[Matt Oberg]

This is wise.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's why Haydn's surprise symphony is still a staple of local orchestras everywhere. Now, take a wild guess is a trivia game where it doesn't matter if you know the right answer. All that matters is that you sound confident saying whatever answer you're trying to convince us is the right answer. And it works very similar. But to our opening question, this is another stats guessing game. I'm going to name an item from a ranked list of 100 entries. Your job is to take a wild guess where that item falls on the list, and then your game mate will say whether they think the actual answer is higher or lower than that first guess. Whoever's closest to the correct number gets a point. That's right. This is a competitive game. So say goodbye to friendship. This game is competitive. It's Matt versus Kristen. All the marbles. Okay, no marbles included. Today I'll be challenging you to take a wild guess at some of the most common words in the English language. So the basis for this game is a database called the Oxford English corpus, which sounds like a dead British professor that you're gonna have to solve the mystery of, but it's not. It's actually a massive collection of texts that the makers of the Oxford English dictionary rely on for their research. So according to an analysis of the Oxford English corpus, where on the list of the 100 most common English words to the following words fall. I'm going to say a word, and you're going to take turns telling me where you think it falls. What number from 1 to 100 where it falls on that list of the most hundred common words. It's okay if you don't have. If you're not sure, you're just taking a wild guess. That's what this is all about. Take a wild guess. So let's start with Matt. We're going to start with you. The word like, what number is it on that list of the top 100 most common English words?

[Matt Oberg]

Like, okay. All right. Well, you gotta figure the top 10 are gonna be, you know, the. So it's not gonna be in there. And I wonder if this is written words or spoken words because we all say, like, way too much and that would increase it on. On the ranking.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I believe it's written words but I'm not sure written words.

[Matt Oberg]

So not like. Just spoken like words like. Yeah, see what I did? It is number 69.

[Elliot Kaelin]

69. All right, Kristin, now you're gonna tell us, do you think it is higher or lower than that? What number do you think it's at?

[Kristen Schaal]

Well, it. So if I say it's lower, that means it's more popular.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Do you think it's. You could say do you think it's more popular or less popular than 69?

[Kristen Schaal]

More popular.

[Matt Oberg]

I would also, if I'm wrong, which I don't think I am, I would love to know what the 69th most popular word in the example.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, Kristen, you are right. Like is more popular than that. It is number 54 on the list. I wasn't that 54th.

[Kristen Schaal]

No, you weren't.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You weren't that far off, but you were just far off enough that Kristen stole the point. So, Kristen, you get to guess next. You get to take a wild guess. Apparently number 69 on the list. I'm hearing from the judges, from producer Devin. Is the word c as in like, I see. I see that. I see that. 69. Yeah. Number two. Word. Number two. Kristen, can you tell me the word what? What number is it on the top 100 most commonly used English words? What?

[Kristen Schaal]

What number is what?

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. You got that? The theme of my question, Take a wild guess.

[Kristen Schaal]

Number eight.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Number eight. All right, Matt, do you think it is more or less popular than the 8th?

[Matt Oberg]

I think she's popular really close. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go higher. Just, Just. I think it is more popular than

[Elliot Kaelin]

eight that the word what is more popular than eight? Kristen gets the point again. It is actually much less popular than 8. What is the 40th most common?

[Matt Oberg]

The 40th most common. Man.

[Elliot Kaelin]

There's a lot of words, though. We have to remember there's a lot of words.

[Kristen Schaal]

I feel like if people asked what more or wrote what down more, we might have some answers.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So right now only two words in Kristen is dominating the game, but it's Matt's turn to maybe get a point on this one. The next word is people. Matt, where on the list of the top 100 words do you think people ranks?

[Matt Oberg]

If what was 40th? People's gotta be way towards the bottom. I'm gonna say it is 84th.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Wow, 84th. Kristin, do you think People is more or less popular than 84th?

[Kristen Schaal]

I'm gonna say less.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Less popular than 84th. Yeah. Matt gets the point. People is more popular. It's 61st on the list. It's the 61st word. Very popular magazine. Just from that magazine alone. You gotta imagine it's racking up numbers.

[Matt Oberg]

People's sexiest man alive, stuff like that. People are always talking about that.

[Kristen Schaal]

I'm just noticing. Well, I guess that people aren't writing. We're not saying people think this anymore. We're saying MAGA thinks this, liberals think this, lefties think this. Like we're labeling people now.

[Matt Oberg]

Our culture so balkanized that no one uses people.

[Kristen Schaal]

How about fucking people? Get the cigarette out of your mouth.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Word number four. This is Kristen's turn. Oh, Kristen's turn.

[Kristen Schaal]

Okay.

[Elliot Kaelin]

To name the number. This word is 1. O, n e. The number one. But as a word, where is it on the list of top 100 most common English words? The number one.

[Matt Oberg]

Kristen, talk us through what you're thinking.

[Kristen Schaal]

Thank you. You know, this is such a complex series of questions that borders on almost.

[Matt Oberg]

Just make the thoughts concise, you know?

[Kristen Schaal]

Well, I'm thinking like, oh, can I have that one? Which one are you gonna do? I don't. I don't know. I'm never gonna be number one.

[Matt Oberg]

Great.

[Kristen Schaal]

So I probably say that a million times.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, divide that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

18.

[Matt Oberg]

18.

[Elliot Kaelin]

18. Okay, Matt, do you think that one is more or less popular than the 18th most common English word?

[Matt Oberg]

I just want to agree with Kristin, but I'm forcing this game to not.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Unfortunately, this is an anti cooperative game. The game wants you to argue and fight. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm gonna say it is less popular than 18.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You are correct. It is less popular than 18. It's the 35th most popular. Of course. Of course. Of course. One makes 35th.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, but 35th is one. That's what's funny.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. 35th is the single most common word in the English language. It's just amaz that way how it works. All right, Matt, it's your turn. The word you have is two. The number two. T wo is it t o o t w o.

[Matt Oberg]

If one is 35th, then two's got to be. I gotta. I gotta stake a Claim here to make Kristen's job harder. I'm gonna say it's 70th.

[Elliot Kaelin]

70th. Kristen, do you think 2. More or less popular a word? 2.

[Kristen Schaal]

The 35th is my favorite day on the calendar. I'm gonna say you said 72.

[Matt Oberg]

I said 70th.

[Kristen Schaal]

Oh, I'm gonna say it's 72. So less.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, less popular. You're right. It is less popular. It's much less popular. It's the 84th. Think about that. One is all the way up at 35, and two is all the way down to 84. Must make family reunions pretty awkward.

[Matt Oberg]

Don't get them started on three.

[Kristen Schaal]

Are we going to get to know what's one and what's 100?

[Elliot Kaelin]

We're going to. I'm going to have. I'm going to have our judge. Producer Devin, we will tell you. Get that ready for us for the end. Yes. Unless it's one of the. Unless it's one of the words.

[Kristen Schaal]

You know, I think I is probably number one.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You know what?

[Matt Oberg]

Me.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Me. Kristin, did you just read my mind? The next word is I and you get to tell me what number you think it's at. Number one. Think it's number one. Okay, Matt, is. Is I. It can't be more popular than that. Is it less popular than that or is it somehow more popular than that and it gets past zero negative numbers

[Kristen Schaal]

or did I nail it?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. Or did you get it exactly right?

[Matt Oberg]

I think if you think about the entire written word, not all of it is in the, you know, in the first person. It's got to be less popular than one. But I believe it to be in the top 10.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You are exactly right. It is number 10. It is the 10th most common word is I. Oh, that was really good.

[Kristen Schaal]

Oh, my God.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Unless somebody's been cheating and you have the OED on speed dial right now

[Matt Oberg]

and you're saying I work at the Corpus. I didn't want to tell you guys.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, we should have known that. We should have disqualified you right off the top. No, it's too late now.

[Kristen Schaal]

They call him Corpus Christi.

[Matt Oberg]

Corpus Maddie.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Corpus. Now that was going to be the end of the game, but we are tied right now. So for three to three, Matt versus Kristen. So I'm going to add one more last one. Matt, it's your turn to guess a number. Take a wild guess. This last word is no. N O. Just no. The most negative word in the English language. What number is it in the top 100.

[Matt Oberg]

I think it's up There, you know, there's a lot of people shutting down ideas and it's the opposite of yes. Is it more popular than yes? No, it's not no.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Said no is

[Matt Oberg]

11th.

[Elliot Kaelin]

11th. All right, 11th. Kristin is no more or less popular than 11th.

[Kristen Schaal]

Way less popular, I would say. No is probably number 92.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You are mostly right. It is less popular. It's in the second bottom half. It's the 56th. The 56th most common word and strangely, y does not make the top 100. So take that as about the world that we live in.

[Matt Oberg]

I was wrong about a lot of stuff there. Yeah, a lot of regrets.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That means the final score for this game is four to three. Kristen wins just by one point. You both played a really good wild guessing game.

[Matt Oberg]

No, I didn't.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yes, you did.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners, did you do as well as Kristen in the game? If so, give yourself a kiss or heck, go further with yourself. I won't tell anyone. And while you're navigating your own personal boundaries, let's find out. Producer Devin, what are the. I'm curious, what are the first and 100th most common words? What's the 100th? Tell us what the 100th one is first.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

The 100th most popular word according to the corpus is the word us. That is the 100th. Now here's something interesting though. The first most popular word Matt guessed correctly. Top most popular word.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The the is the number one is

[Devin Tory Bryant]

the which is what he said. That was the first thing he said. That's going to be like one. It's me one or the top five for sure. There it is.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Number one. So what my producer is telling us is that we rigged the game by not putting the in there since we knew that Matt knew that word really well.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't think I deserve that much credit for picking the as number one, but.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

No, but it is interesting.

[Matt Oberg]

Let's get it off that top spot. Tune in next week. We'll be counting them down.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Let's see what we can do as a nation and as a. As a species, to get to knock the. Off the top, let's change things up, you know, let's put a new word up there. How about the. How about what?

[Matt Oberg]

The.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The. Yeah, let's replace the with the. Let's do it. Yeah. And while we're working on that, let's move on to today's main game. It's called Tone Note.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Tone Note is a game of anagrams. I'm going to give you a clue to a two word phrase in which both of the two words are anagrams of each other. Just like the name of this game. Tone note. Tone and note are anagrams of each other. So for instance, if the clue was performance by a feline, the answer would be Cat act. Cat act. So you want anagram two word phrases like that. This is a cooperative game. So please swallow whatever bad feelings you have left over from the last game. I need you to work together on this. Please bury the hatchet. You know? Are you ready, my friend?

[Kristen Schaal]

Do you want some water?

[Matt Oberg]

No, no. I'm locked in. I'm ready to go.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Water would only throw him off. Throw off his concentration.

[Kristen Schaal]

Toad node.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So clue number one. We're looking for a two word anagrammatic phrase. The clue is consumes a chair.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, well, what's another word for chair? Of course you've got Stool. Lutes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Stool.

[Matt Oberg]

That's not it. What else? What are we sitting on? I like that I know it and you don't, and that makes me feel really good.

[Kristen Schaal]

I was just thinking that you're so self conscious about your headphones, and I did not once offer to trade with you.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, that's what's going through your head right now.

[Kristen Schaal]

Would you like to trade headphones? Because I don't care what people. They can look at me any which way. I don't mind.

[Matt Oberg]

No, I'm fine with it now. I'm used to them, and, you know,

[Kristen Schaal]

I just dropped the ball as a friend.

[Matt Oberg]

What's most important is that we're seated here together. And maybe after this, we can go eat a bite. So we're looking for eat seat.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. Eat seat is exactly it.

[Matt Oberg]

Do you see what I did there?

[Elliot Kaelin]

I'm really impressed that the way you got there was by discussing everything but the question just dancing around it. There was nothing very.

[Kristen Schaal]

Goldberg's really smart.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, but I'm not. And the only person who's gonna be this is gonna be revealed. No one else thinks I am besides myself. And it's really gonna.

[Kristen Schaal]

You said that you're smart.

[Matt Oberg]

It's gonna. I'm gonna reveal it to myself that I'm not as smart as I think I am.

[Elliot Kaelin]

This is gonna be a great self esteem building thing. No, you're gonna find out you're even smarter than you think that you are because here's the next clue. What if you bought some winter precipitation? What would. How would you describe it if you had bought some winter precipitation? Now it's yours.

[Matt Oberg]

Well, you gotta think about sleet. You gotta think about wintry mix. What else is out there?

[Kristen Schaal]

Snow.

[Matt Oberg]

Snow. Okay, snow.

[Kristen Schaal]

But you're buying it.

[Matt Oberg]

Sewn. That would be if you had sewn snow.

[Kristen Schaal]

But you're buying it.

[Matt Oberg]

You've bought it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah.

[Kristen Schaal]

If you bought it. Past tense.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah.

[Kristen Schaal]

So you own it.

[Matt Oberg]

That's correct. Put it all together and you've got snow.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Owns. I was gonna say own snow, but that's the same words. Soon

[Matt Oberg]

when we get Greenland, we'll own snow. That'll be fun. Something like that. I don't know. You guys can figure you guys could do something with that.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number three.

[Matt Oberg]

You guys are the joke guys.

[Elliot Kaelin]

As long as you just give us the raw materials, we'll. We'll fix it all together. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number three. Pulls on intestines. Two word phrase pulls on intestines.

[Kristen Schaal]

Tug guts.

[Matt Oberg]

Tug guts. Very good.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yep. I'm gonna. It's tugs guts. You want. Don't forget that. S in guts. But you got it.

[Matt Oberg]

You got it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Guts. Guys, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna sit here being like maybe, maybe that you're close, but I

[Kristen Schaal]

was sloppy and I'm sorry.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I mean, the judges took some points off of that, but they gave you extra points for artistry. So in the end you still got the gold on it. So I started my whole life.

[Matt Oberg]

Points for artistry.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're doing great. You're doing great with these. Question number four. Clue number four. A dirty room for reading and writing. A dirty room.

[Matt Oberg]

A dirty room for reading.

[Elliot Kaelin]

A dirty room.

[Matt Oberg]

The bathroom.

[Kristen Schaal]

Not mine. I poop outside there in order to

[Elliot Kaelin]

keep the bathroom clean. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

A dirty room for reading and writing.

[Kristen Schaal]

So that's like a library or a classroom.

[Matt Oberg]

A study. A room for reading and writing.

[Kristen Schaal]

Room for reading. And a dirty one.

[Matt Oberg]

A disgusting little dusty study. Oh, very good.

[Kristen Schaal]

Dusty study.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Dusty study. Exactly right. Dusty study.

[Matt Oberg]

It's a little song I wrote.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Clue number five. You might sneeze at this location for an art exhibit. You might sneeze at this location for an art exhibit. A chew museum. You got It. It's a chew museum. No, that's not the answer.

[Kristen Schaal]

An art exhibit would be a gallery. Allergies.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, very good. Very good. Allergy gallery.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Allergy gallery. Exactly right. You're doing great. You know what? You two are stronger together than you are apart.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's true.

[Matt Oberg]

It's true.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. Next clue. Hose down a loud warning device. You're going to hose down. Like cleaning off a loud warning device.

[Matt Oberg]

You're going to.

[Kristen Schaal]

Alarm.

[Matt Oberg]

Roll an alarm. You're going to hose down a loud warning device.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Mm.

[Matt Oberg]

You're gonna. Zalkon a klaxon. What is a loud warning device?

[Elliot Kaelin]

I would start. Yeah. Start thinking of the words for a loud warning device. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

You got horn.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Alarm.

[Matt Oberg]

Alarm. But I can't think of what. Hose down horn. You're gonna. You're gonna wash.

[Kristen Schaal]

Warning.

[Matt Oberg]

Get your hose.

[Kristen Schaal]

Hey, did you turn off that warning device?

[Matt Oberg]

That loud warning device? You mean that. That beeping sound that comes from the alarm.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's dirty. You gotta hose it down.

[Matt Oberg]

I like that you're giving me clues that insinuate.

[Kristen Schaal]

No, I'm just trying to find it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Of course.

[Matt Oberg]

When the horn goes off.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yes.

[Matt Oberg]

You need to wash it.

[Kristen Schaal]

You're going home.

[Matt Oberg]

And spray array.

[Kristen Schaal]

Arrays.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So what's.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

We need help.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah. So what's. What's. Like if there was an air raid on there on your. On the way there, what would go off to warn you about that?

[Kristen Schaal]

Sirens.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Siren. Rinse or rinse. Siren. You got it.

[Kristen Schaal]

There's some people listening in their car right now that are so mad.

[Matt Oberg]

I know.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We didn't get that. And they're also having to. They have to really ride the volume knob because the volume goes up and down very drastically on this episode.

[Kristen Schaal]

Oh, I wonder why.

[Matt Oberg]

I wouldn't know.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's all Matt. Clue number seven. Remember a basement. What's a two word anagrammatic phrase for Remember a basement?

[Matt Oberg]

Recollect a seller.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Recall a seller.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got that right. Recall. Seller. You did.

[Kristen Schaal]

It came real fast out of you.

[Matt Oberg]

We didn't even get to do a bit.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We didn't even have time to improv through it. No. Clue number eight. There's only two left. Clue number eight. Gave props to something. Babies need.

[Matt Oberg]

Gave props.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Gave props to something.

[Matt Oberg]

Napped to nap.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Right.

[Kristen Schaal]

Snap.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Snap.

[Matt Oberg]

Snap. Nap. Snap.

[Kristen Schaal]

Compliment you. Compliment.

[Matt Oberg]

Gave props.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Props.

[Matt Oberg]

Cheered a chair.

[Kristen Schaal]

Diaper.

[Matt Oberg]

Diaper pride.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah. Sucker.

[Matt Oberg]

Sucker.

[Kristen Schaal]

One of those pacifiers.

[Matt Oberg]

Pacifier. An anagram for pacifier. Okay, give me 45 minutes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So you were very. You were very close recently with nap.

[Kristen Schaal]

With diaper. With pacifier.

[Matt Oberg]

With diaper.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Let's say babies do need. Well, do they? What? It's something that they often need more than one of. Right?

[Kristen Schaal]

Diapers.

[Matt Oberg]

Diapers. Okay, Give props. Diapers. Parades.

[Kristen Schaal]

Maybe don't they call nappies diapers?

[Matt Oberg]

Spire spray.

[Kristen Schaal]

You need a lot of bottles.

[Matt Oberg]

Bottles hate baby. Come get your bottle.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah. Melt.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Kill. No, no diaper. Stick with diapers. Stick with diapers. You're so close. Okay, guys, stick with diapers.

[Matt Oberg]

An anagram for diaper. Well, you got the D, you got the R. There's a. What does the anagram start with for diapers?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Would you like a clue? The anagram starts with P. I mean, as with any diaper, there's P in it. Yeah, but it's the. Starts with P. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Give what in the clues. Give props.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Gave props. Gave props.

[Matt Oberg]

Praise the diaper. Holy smokes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's. Praised diapers.

[Kristen Schaal]

That's beautiful.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Just like. I think it was the Fat Boy Slim song about. I like to praise diapers like I should.

[Matt Oberg]

Really good diaper.

[Kristen Schaal]

Devin, can you cover that?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Not legally.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, okay. Well, maybe. Maybe in your bootleg album. And finally, our last clue for this game. You're doing great. Drums that are faster than the speed of sound. Drums faster than the speed of sound. Drums.

[Matt Oberg]

A Mach 2 Kunga. No,

[Kristen Schaal]

sorry, what was it? A drum that breaks the sound barrier.

[Matt Oberg]

Well, let's talk about drums. You've got a snare drum. Timpani.

[Kristen Schaal]

Um, conga.

[Matt Oberg]

Conga bongos.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Not necessarily a type of drum, but what's a word for overall for drums? What's another way to describe percussion?

[Kristen Schaal]

Percussion.

[Matt Oberg]

Percussion beat faster than the speed of sound. Percussion. Ooh. Percussion has so many letters.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Cruisin. Percussion. Supersonic.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Supersonic. Percussion. Yes. You did it, Matt.

[Kristen Schaal]

That was really good.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You know, it turned out what you got there was increasing the pressure. So this is something to learn about yourself. Like, the more pressure.

[Kristen Schaal]

I'm sorry, Elliot, can you let the listeners know that we're not allowed to have, like, pens or paper or anything?

[Elliot Kaelin]

No, you can have pens or paper. You can do that.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, well, no one told us that.

[Kristen Schaal]

Yeah, we're doing this, like, in our brains. We have no. Like, I'm a visual learner, and so this is really hurtful for me that you're telling me this now.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I understand. I understand. I should have made that clear. It's the kind of thing that most of our contestants just kind of assumed, but. But I should make it clear. Yeah, you should make it clear. Next Time.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm still in my head for saying 69. I really regret that.

[Kristen Schaal]

Oh, you do not.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's higher on the shame scale. That should be higher on the shame scale than the supersonic percussion thing.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's natural. Like, it's natural.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's chemical. Sex is up there that we should do. Sex is something for me.

[Matt Oberg]

This is why I regret it.

[Kristen Schaal]

All right, P. I. I love George Michael so much.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, I thought that was the song from Grease too. I'm sorry.

[Matt Oberg]

Out of all the people and the top 100 people Kristen loves, where's George Michael on that list?

[Kristen Schaal]

He might be like number five.

[Matt Oberg]

You got your mom.

[Kristen Schaal]

Oh, sorry.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh,

[Kristen Schaal]

sorry. I thought you meant famous people. I've never met.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh.

[Matt Oberg]

Anyway, that's not why you called,

[Elliot Kaelin]

but you got nine out of nine in that game. You did a great job.

[Kristen Schaal]

Thanks, Elliot.

[Elliot Kaelin]

But we're not done yet. Because as you know, every clueless main game ends in an anagram phrase that you'll never guess. And that phrase is mega clue.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

Mega clue.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You'll never guess it because mega and clue are not actually anagrams. That's the trick in that anachromatic phrase. It's not anagrammatic. For this mega clue, can you take the first letters of each of this game's phrases and I'm remind you what those letters are? You don't have to remember them.

[Matt Oberg]

You don't need to.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We're going to take the first letters of each of this game's phrases and rearrange them to form another two word anagram phrase. I'm going to give you a clue for it. Don't worry. All right. These are the letters that I want you to rearrange and then I'll give you the clue. I'll give you the letters first, then the clue. And the letters are E. E. E as in Elliot.

[Kristen Schaal]

Thank you.

[Matt Oberg]

E. What else?

[Elliot Kaelin]

O as in O. Is that a letter? O Next. T as in the letter. So, yeah, these are all.

[Matt Oberg]

Keep these coming here.

[Elliot Kaelin]

D as in don't forget these letters. A. There you go. A as in a letter. Sure. I'll take one. R as in write down these letters but with the. Without the W in front. Just the R. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

No, these are all really good.

[Elliot Kaelin]

These are all good. Then another R. There's two R's in this word. Yep. Then a P as in please write down these letters and then an S as in start writing down these letters. So those letters again are E, O, T, D, A, R, R. P and

[Matt Oberg]

S. So if you're driving, pull over.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Now if you're driving, either pull over or just make sure you have a pad with one hand that you can write with. Steer with the other hand. Don't use both hands. And here's your clue. This is what an iconic movie monster cries after hunting humans for sport.

[Matt Oberg]

Rap Toads.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So I'm looking for a two word phrase. So it's gonna be two words that use the same letters for both of them.

[Kristen Schaal]

Predator.

[Matt Oberg]

An iconic predator. And what is he?

[Kristen Schaal]

Predators.

[Matt Oberg]

But that's only. There's a second word.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And there's a second word. This is what an iconic movie monster cries after hunting humans for sport.

[Matt Oberg]

Predator. Predators. By getting the character get into the

[Elliot Kaelin]

mind of the predator. Yeah, get into the mindset.

[Kristen Schaal]

Oh, my tummy.

[Matt Oberg]

I ate too many. He's regretting eating.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Well, he doesn't eat them. He hunts. We don't have to get into what the predator does. He's a trophy hunter. He just hunts them for sport, not for food. I think the Predator is actually vegetarian, but he just does it for the thrill of the kill. Predator.

[Matt Oberg]

So

[Elliot Kaelin]

this is what an iconic movie monster cries after hunting humans for sport. Predator. Tear.

[Kristen Schaal]

Give me that.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay. Predator.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Teardrops.

[Matt Oberg]

Predator. Teardrops.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Predators. Teardrops. Very good. That's exactly right. Predators. Teardrops.

[Matt Oberg]

Predators.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Teardrops. I'm impressed. There was part of me that thought you might never get that answer, but then you got predators so fast. And I was like, you know what? They're gonna get this. They've got to. It's only a matter of time once you get predators. Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

That was Kristen all on her own there.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Kristen. Amazing. Well, that's why they call her Mega Clue. Kristen. Yeah.

[Kristen Schaal]

Mega Clue. Kristen.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners, did you get the answer? If so, it is my honor to bestow upon you our highest honor the silver question mark for bravery in the line of puzzles. Please wear it at any puzzle parades that you are marching in. But I hate to say it. Just as I was finally getting comfortable enough to open up to you guys, we've reached the end of the episode. I'm going to have to save my core childhood memories for another time, I guess. But before we go, I would like to thank Kristen Schall and Matt Oberg for being everything I have always wanted out of a contestant but was afraid to ask. You guys were such great contestants. Thank you so much for joining us. I hope you had fun. Cause I certainly did. And that's why I do the show, to have fun. And cause they pay me to do it. I'd also like to thank the listener for letting us live in your ears for just a little bit. I think I left a shoe behind in your ear. If you find it, just mail it back to me. Thanks. I really appreciate it. We'll be back next.

[Kristen Schaal]

It's a small shoe.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's a very small shoe. Yeah. So don't worry. We'll be back next time with more Clueless. Until then, I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, reminding you to seize the day, but only after asking the day's permission first. Goodbye, everybody.

[Kristen Schaal]

Unlike that Sam I Am guy.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Unlike Sam I am who will not take no for an answer.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Today's contestants were the fabulous Kristen Schaal

[Elliot Kaelin]

and the wonderful Matt Oberg.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Follow them online, Follow their website.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They're the best.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Jason Reich. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer Matty McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[Kristen Schaal]

Smart, less medium. Try angel stuff for your tushy. It's made by angels. Soft and strong. Budget friendly. The choice is simple. Pick up a pack today. Angel soft.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Soft and strong. Simple.